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#gay elders tourney
gayelderstourney · 8 months
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GAY ELDERS BRACKET ROUND 4 (SEMIFINALS)
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Propaganda:
Eda Clawthorne/Raine Whispers:
they were high school sweethearts but ended up going on completely different paths in life; they met again many years later and rekindled their relationship. they led a rebellion against the corrupt government together. eda turns into a harpy and raine’s reaction is pure awe. they’re canonically two of the strongest witches on the boiling isles. also their adopted son is the son of god!
Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:
THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.
they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them
they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!
Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-
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i-like-eyes · 9 months
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hello to all my tf2 followers that are just finding out i am a massive puppet stan
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daenystheedreamer · 9 months
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omaegorverse au stuff its daenys marrying into the starks and having the worst fucking time of her life with her gay misogyinst husband who hates her and her problematic homophobic mother in law ^_^
anyway so in omaegorverse walton and alaric did a rebellion and got absolutely FUCKED like fully dead and burned up rip alaric stark sorry u couldnt befriend alysanne 😭 its canon that torrhen's sons and the early targ-era starks HATED the targs. i think if maegor omegafied his nephew and took him to wife theyd consider that the last straw. plus the old gods are whispering in their ear or something ^_^ there’s also a mercenary company in essos called the company of the rose i thought that was SO fun so they go back to westeros to fight in the rebellion :3
anyway viserys is crazy at this point cos he’s had three forced childbirths and people keep dying and its his fault (its maegor its all maegor. of course its maegor's fault but maegor's like um well maybe if u werent a whore they might have lived 🙄) so he begs maegor to end the rebellion peacefully. plus if they blast the starks the north will HATE them. maegor is like fuck that noise and viserys goes well ok guess ill kill myself and the kids then. so maegor's like fuck ok fine 🙄 gods youre so dramatic women are so annoying -_- nudges his squire goes heh the wife amirite always nagging and bitching!!
viserys is deeply traumatised and only halfway in reality. he arranges a marriage between daenys to walton+alaric's brother for peace and hes like itll be ok cos youll be far away from maegor. you just have to be a nice demure wife and have babies like look how happy that made me!! itll be fine also maegor will 100% make you the prize in one of his fckn tourneys if u stay unmarried for much longer O_O. and daenys is all well the angels are telling me to murder-suicide maegor and im having gay thoughts about aunt rhaena again so i guess running away from kings landing  is a good idea (kings landing is kind of alive in this it kind of tortures the targs).
it is not! she marries the new lord stark (his name is cregard:3) and he's DEEPLY targphobic. his mother was the second wife of brandon the boastful, making walton and alaric his elder half-brothers. his mother is also a bolton! her name's barba bolton she's crazy! she and brandon the boastful married as a covert bolton-stark alliance against the targs in preparation for possible anti-targ rebellions… the stark family consists of barba + her four kids: myranda bolton, cregard, lysara mormont and sybelle dustin. the starks are very weird rn cos half of them died and the other half are hated by the north. the daughters are all married off and do a lot of diplomacy, so its just barba and cregard in winterfell. boymum and her mummy’s boy that’s so normal!!!
barba has had the revolution burned out of her thanks to her husband and stepsons getting burned to death at the gates of winterfell. she couldnt intern their bones either because balerion fckn ATE them. she agrees to the marriage because there’s no way she can’t... also because the political situation in the north is very tense. everyone is mad that the rebellion failed and that their sons died, and they start a conspiracy that barba had sabotaged the rebellion for bolton power. barba had refused to let her own son fight, despite him being fifteen (which is war age for sure) and they think this was her being cunning. they think she had conspired with maegor and his catamite WHORE into letting her and her children live. and she hates the northern houses back cos she gritted her teeth swallowed her pride and surrendered to save THEM!! so if she doesn’t want some kind of usurpation she needs the backing of the targs. plus this princess has a dragon…
ALSO it was viserys the catamite FREAK who specifically intervened and begged maegor's mercy which the northerners all see as a slight on their honour. barba is also super pissy about it :3 homophobic QUEEN! on paper it is such an honour to wed a targ princess but everyone thinks the mpreg babies are abominations, the starks especially. but they cant say no since maegor mercifully didnt blow them all up.
cregard's character is very stoic and angry. he's got that stark iciness + honour/justice, but he's also got the stark wildness!! he's 14 years older than daenys (30 and 16 at marriage ew) and he sees their marriage as a transaction and security for the north. he was fifteen during the rebellion and hates his mother for locking him in winterfell. considers this an evil bitch act of emasculation but he’s also an absolute mommy’s boy. he's very classically sexist like Well a wife's job is to support her husband and give him heirs. i will give her whatever she wants materially but emotionally she is an object she is not a person. if that makes sense :3
daenys is very shy and autistic so barba thinks she is weak and will never be a good lady of winterfell she isnt Hard and Stoic enough. cregard thinks she's an airhead freak but treats her with that sort of chauvinistic chivalry. like he treats her decently enough he doesnt beat her but also her duty is to give him sons. cregard does NOT do the nedcat sept because the optics of that are SO bad. as she has married into the family he expects her to convert since well she's a northerner stark now. not that anyone is treating her like that... anyway she mostly spends her days with the horses in the stables, in the glass gardens or with her dragon:3
and YES she has a dragon and brought it north. it is very small the runt of the litter. it is from dreamfyre's clutch and daenys named her dreamsweet and calls her sweetling. the starks are very annoyed by the dragon because they were hoping for a big dragon who they could use as leverage. instead they get a runt. just like daenys :) she doesn't ride dreamsweet much, though dreamsweet is large enough to ride. cregard DOES have a large stable made for the dragon which also stunts the dragons growth but they dont know that. everyone steers clear of it and daenys turns it into her special safe place :) she paints it all pretty and uses it as a sept. its round and maybe the size of a smallish school gymnasium. it has a conical roof with a large skylight, though chains are kept over the opening. dreamsweet is allowed ONE outing a month...
not getting into the marital bed situation because sad and also thats not fun and i do this au for fun. but i guess picture the handmaid's tale if youve ever read the book :( barba is there and its all mechanical and emotionless. cregard thinks his wife is an abomination + is sexistly gay. he is nawt getting anything out of this. actually havent really thought about the gay thing all too much i just did that cos i thought it was funny tbh. maybe he’s got medieval rentboys or something.maybe he’s got a tumultuous homoerotic situationship with one of the northern lords. You decide :3 i think barba is like your vices are disgusting and dishonour house stark. use your wiles to seduce that effette lord manderly into supporting the starks again.
daenys and barba are very weird cos daenys has never had an actual mother before. barba’s like late forties when daenys marries cregard. they’re the only women in winterfell and daenys outranks her and daenys is a fucked up abomination and barba is one of those insane boymoms whos like I am the most important woman in my son’s life. i would like it if she slowly grew to respect daenys and they could have a normal mother-daughter relationship but. I doubt that. i think daenys is terrified of her and barba hates her but theyre also forced to interact, forced into the most intimate relationship women can have!! motherhood ahh!! god this post is too long. okay my final message. goodbye<3
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ttearsofthekingdom · 9 months
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oh lol gay elder tourney likening people bending a rule of a fucking tumblr poll to the gross overstepping of personal boundaries
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daxieoclock · 3 years
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Okay let’s do this. TW for scientific dehumanization
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This is Vee, my Final Fantasy 7 OC (primarily with the remake in mind, though the meta aspects of that story don’t play a part here). Formerly from a small village whose inhabitants were captured and experimented on by Shinra, she possesses minor draconic abilities and an affinity with fire Materia as a result of those experiments. She only escaped the labs at all by accidentally faking her death – going into cardiac shock during an experiment and then surviving their attempt to dispose of her body through incineration, due to her newfound immunity to flame. Vee was then nursed back to health in a small religious collective centered around worship of the Ancients, and spent a few years there until she had recovered enough to leave. While she isn’t quite an amnesiac, the trauma from those labs has fucked significantly with her memories and self of self.
Personality-wise, Vee is brash and self-assured, displaying both an abundance of confidence and a general sense of polite ease. She’s a hopeless flirt, but drops that behavior immediately around her elders and anyone who shows discomfort in being flirted with. While she jumps at the chance to make a show, she also shies away from attention outside of her control, hiding her fiend eyes behind sunglasses and keeping her wings dismissed. That overly casual persona also helps hide a deep insatiable fury towards Shinra, SOLDIERs and especially that snickering scientist bastard, whose throat she would personally like to tear out for everything he’s done to her and her family.
In combat, she keeps at least one hand in her pocket at all times, and fights with close-range fire magic and a flame sword she can summon and dismiss at will.
AU summary (including Gay Details) under cut.
EDIT: I’ve made a few minor edits and added events up until a little ways past the departure from Midgar.
EDIT 2: I made this into a fic.
Initial
A large aspect of the “Vee AU,” so to speak, is the change of timescale: stretching out the events of the plot over the span of a couple months rather than a couple weeks, with multiple periods of reprieve between urgent setpieces. Other than that, the first big change comes after Cloud’s meeting with Aerith, in that he makes it back to Seventh Heaven without being pulled into the Wall Market nonsense – Aerith tagging along the whole time. Aerith meets Tifa and decides to stick around for a bit, Cloud slips back into his friendly neighborhood merc gig, and Avalanche stresses in the background about their next move.
It’s during this point that Cloud investigates a commotion nearby Sector 7 only to find the cause to be a bloodied Vee standing amidst a bunch of ko’d Shinra soldiers. When she notices Cloud’s mako eyes, she attacks him – SOLDIERS were the people who took her to the labs – before half-collapsing from her injuries. Cloud heals her, and makes the ‘ex’ part of ex-SOLDIER very clear, as well as his open contempt for Shinra. Vee apologizes for losing control, thanks them, and decides to stick around to help out – since they have a common enemy, and she wants to pay back Cloud for saving her life after she almost murdered him. Vee Joins The Party.
A few days later, we enter the leadup to Wall Market. Desperate for details and noticing a surge of Shinra activity in and around Sector 7, the gang decides to try and get info from the one man who might know anything: Don Corneo. Unfortunately, he’s an asshole, so they’re going to have to threaten him for it. While Barret and the rest of Avalanche stay behind to keep Shinra from trying anything, Aerith, Tifa, Cloud and Vee head to Wall Market. On the way there, Tifa and Vee get separated from the others when part of the collapsed highway collapses further, and they spend some time getting to know each other while Aerith takes Cloud on a more direct route.
Tifa and Vee smooch after roughly a day of romantic tension. No further relationship is established at this time.
In Wall Market, the gang splits up into two teams to try and pincer Corneo’s security. Vee and Aerith hit up the tournament under Madame M’s supervision, passing themselves off as a Shinra rep and her Turk bodyguard to get an invite through the front door, while Cloud and Tifa go through Andrea Rhodea to try and weasel their way into Corneo’s audition for his next wife.
Aerith and Vee smooch after kicking ass in the tourney. No further relationship is established at this time.
Corneo’s security is dispatched from two angles, and the gang rushes back towards Sector 7 after hearing the info about Shinra’s now ongoing plan to collapse the plate. They get there, and fight their way up to Barret and the other Avalanche crew, managing to minimize the damage from the plate’s fall by locking the center supports in place, but they cannot fully prevent the collapse. While the majority of Sector 7 remains livable, the outskirts are devastated. (Aerith is not approached by Tseng at this point. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge survive.)
There’s a terse, tense celebration in Seventh Heaven. A lot of lives were saved, but not all of them, and there’s still the financial cost to the already destitute slums – not to mention that Shinra will likely try to take credit for the collapse’s partial prevention, and pin the collapse itself on Avalanche. This isn’t even close to the end of hardship. Regardless, it is a victory.
Over the next few days, the gang recovers and focuses on helping Sector 7 rebuild. Tifa tries to push Aerith and Vee together, seeing herself as an obstacle between them. Aerith confronts Tifa about this, they discuss their feelings and reservations.
Aerith and Tifa smooch. At this time, we establish a relationship between Aerith, Tifa and Vee. Many more smoochings occur.
Saving Aerith
One morning, the gang wake up to find Aerith missing. Tifa, Vee, Cloud and Barret go to her house to look for her, and Elmyra tells them she visited late last night to say she wouldn’t be coming back home for a while. Elmyra realizes something is wrong, and tells the gang that Aerith is a descendant of the Ancients, and her birth mother was captured by Shinra. Vee and Cloud are especially tense when she says she suspects Shinra’s head scientist of being involved in Aerith’s disappearance. When the party returns to Sector 7, Wedge shares a message from Avalanche HQ: the Turks brought someone matching Aerith’s description into Shinra headquarters last night.
After tangoing with Corneo and Leslie in the sewers, the gang fights their way to the Shinra Building. On the elevator up, Vee and Barret have a bit of an ideological clash. Vee makes it clear she doesn’t care about the suffering of Shinra Employees, their paychecks are soaked through with the blood of Shinra’s victims, and their complicity is guilt enough. Barret fires back that while they’re taking the easy road out, there are fewer and fewer non-Shinra jobs out there every day, and some employees have more than their own mouth to feed. Not everyone can afford to make the sacrifices he did, and while they don’t have to be buddy-buddy with Shinra’s suckers, the company would fall apart without them. Draw them over to Avalanche’s side, and Shinra wouldn’t last a day.
Mayor Domino helps the gang get into Shinra R&D, and they’re forced to fight a whole floor full of mutant experiments to get to where Aerith is kept. When they reach her, she’s contained in a glass cylinder, overlooked by Hojo in an isolated observation room. Vee immediately lunges at the reinforced glass between her and the scientist. She asks if Hojo recognizes her, and he expresses delight that she managed to survive. Vee tries to break the glass but hesitates when more experiments attack Tifa, Barret and Cloud. She does issue one last threat to Hojo: she’s going to walk out of here with Aerith, and then she’s going to track him down, so he’d better start running. Next time they meet, she’ll make him hurt in every way he hurt her, and she’ll enjoy it. Vee punches the glass hard enough to crack it, and she gets one good look at Hojo’s surprised – maybe frightened – face before metal shutters close off the observation room completely.
After being freed and embracing both of her girlfriends, Aerith explains that she was captured voluntarily – half to keep Avalanche from being targeted by Shinra, and half to find out the truth. She takes them down a floor to a place she identifies as her mother’s room, and her own. Aerith spent most of her childhood here, and her mother managed to escape with her just long enough to hide her with Elmyra before being captured again. Aerith returned because she thought her mother might still be alive, but apparently the woman didn’t survive more than a year after being recaptured. Vee reminds Aerith that she’s still alive, and she has a life outside these walls now, with people who love her. Tifa simply asks her to promise not to leave like that again, and Aerith gladly does so. She doesn’t plan on chasing ghosts, not anymore. She knows where her home is.
The reforged quintet meets with Red XIII, who Vee immediately takes a one-sided liking to, trying to befriend the more tempermental catdog. They head farther into the labs to both chase Hojo and make it to the roof for extraction, and find Jenova. Sephiroth appears, sending Tifa into shock and Cloud into blind fury, and the latter charges at the specter – who severs the bridge and sends them plummenting into the depths of the labs. Cloud is seperated from the others for a time, and fights alone and half-berserk through a small horde of experiments, nearly attacking Barret when he runs into him. Barret and Red manage to calm him down, and they fight up the Drum to Tifa, Vee and Aerith, then back up to the elevator.
The gang follows Jenova-infected footsteps to President Shinra’s office to find the bigwig himself danging off the side of his big fancy tower. Vee immediately hops over the railing and extends a hand to pull him up, but digs her nails into his arm and keeps on holding him over the edge. It’s his fault. Everything that happened to Aerith, to Vee herself. Guilt travels upwards, and there’s no one higher than Shinra. Killing him won’t bring back Aerith’s mother, or the people killed by the plate, or Vee’s family. It won’t take away what happened to her. But it’ll make her feel a whole lot better. Vee is ready to drop him, but Barret talks her down, convinces her that Shinra is more use clearing their names and owning up to dropping the plate. With him as a hostage, they can bring the company to its knees. Vee relents, and pulls Shinra to safety, only for Sephiroth to stab him through the chest.
Cloud barely holds it together, and Sephiroth taunts him, trying to egg him on. Doesn’t Cloud want to hurt him? Doesn’t he want to take revenge, for his family, for his home? For his companion? Cloud is a breath away from trying to take his head off, but it’s Tifa who strikes first, forcing Sephiroth back with a roundhouse kick. She tells him to leave her friend alone, and the rest of the gang backs her up. That manages to shake Cloud out of his fury, and he stands by his friends as they take on the legendary SOLDIER hero.
And lose. They’re barely a match for him, their attacks don’t phase him in the slightest, and he seems impossibly fast. With one final mockery, Sephiroth takes Jenova’s body and dives off the side of the Shinra building, leaving Cloud almost numb, hollow. Tifa manages to pull him out of it, and he doesn’t understand how she’s still herself aftering seeing him. She shows that her hands are still shaking, and admits she’s not letting it catch up with her. Right now, she’s focused on trying to stay alive, and keep the people she cares about alive. Our six rebels fight their way back through Shinra security and, with one look back at the home they’re leaving behind, they steal a ride out of Midgar.
Once they make it to the inn in Kalm, Cloud finally fills everyone in on what he hasn’t told them. He’d only meant to tell Tifa, originally, but the others deserve the truth as well. With her permission, he recalls the Nibelheim Incident. After Sephiroth killed his hometown and injured Tifa, Cloud attacked the man, overpowering him and throwing him to his death – or he assumed, at least. Another Nibelhiem resident, Zangan, took Tifa to safety, promising to come back for Cloud. He didn’t make it, and Cloud was captured and experimented on by Hojo; toughing through thanks to the mako infusions he got as a SOLDIER. After five years, he managed to escape, and make it to Midgar. The others are horrified, but Cloud almost no-sells it. It’s in the past. It’s fine. He’s fine. And with that, and without taking any questions, he goes to his room and sleeps.
Tifa admits once he’s gone that there’s something odd about the story, about the way he told it. She can’t quite pick out what, but it feels as if he’s leaving out something big from the parts that she can’t corraberate. Barret and Red agree, they felt similarly, but Vee reminds them that traumatic events like that can fuck with a person’s head, muddle their memories. And she knows firsthand how traumatic Shinra’s labs can get. The five agree not to push him on it, and follow suit to get some sleep.
When she’s finally alone with Aerith and Vee, Tifa breaks down completely as the events of the day wash over her. The man who scarred her, who slaughtered her family, who burnt down her home, is alive. Her best friend has years of trauma he’s never told her about. And she almost lost her girlfriend. Vee and Aerith hold her, and the three fall asleep together. For now, they’re safe.
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mummer · 4 years
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please share your asoiaf theories and hot takes, i wanna go crazy go stupid!!
okay well there’s kind of a lot ive been thinking about, apologies for the long ass post i typed feverishly
i’ve found myself mostly convinced by this insanely long theory that ser shadrich is howland reed, accompanied by the elder brother of the quiet isle in disguise (who is maybe also secretly lewyn martell??) and sandor clegane in a sexy jaime lannister esque GLAMOUR(!!!!), and as hedge knights they will rescue sansa from the vale at the upcoming tourney. i think glamoured-sandor is a very silly idea and is not true, and that byron is some other guy, because that would be truly insane, but otherwise count me in
at all times i am thinking about satin. i dont know why. i feel like he... like... Is Someone. but i also think him lying about his upbringing would be counterintuitive to his purpose as a character (showing that jon respects him regardless of being gay/a commoner/a sex worker- bc jesus parallels). so it’s possible that he just has a secret lineage which would add to his v sexy ~ JON PARALLELS ~ unless he gets hatecrimed immediately and we’ll never know
look. ashara dayne is not dead. she’s not lemore or anything but she will reveal herself. here is long meta/theorizing about it but the series is sadly unfinished. it had me going CRAZY though holy fuck !!!!!!!!!!
on that note it would be BIG sexy if satin was ashara’s son whom she had to hide in a brothel for Some Reason. i just want satin to wield dawn. it would be cool
BUT i also HATE “x is secretly x!” theories because there are simply. TOO MANY OF THEM. not everybody in westeros has to Be Someone it’s too STUPID. the existence of glamours/faceless men tech is also sooo annoying because hey! literally anyone could be anyone! at all times! it’s silly!!!! shut up about marwyn being a martell shut up about quorin halfhand being gerold hightower for no reason it’s DUMB
really just Afraid about jon getting rezzed because i realized that, like coldhands/beric/stoneheart his body will be FUCKED UP. like this poor man is gonna be a literal zombie with black hands and rotting flesh dude. a grade-a FREAKO. he’s gonna start Forgetting things! it’s all gonna be VERY dark and physically Bad and we as a nation are NOT prepared for it
BIG WALDER IS MY FRIEND HE IS NOT MY ENEMY AND HE WILL INHERIT THE TWINS
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365news · 5 years
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365NEWS NEWSPAPERS HEADLINES FOR SUNDAY 23RD JUNE 2019
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365NEWS NEWSPAPERS HEADLINES FOR SUNDAY 23RD JUNE 2019       *PUNCH* Desperate Nigerians exploit gay, outcast claims, BHaram war to seek asylum in Europe, US, Canada Community conspiracy landed dad in life jail Surviving daughter of freed centenarian prisoner After rains of herders attacks, traumatised victims contend with more hardships in Taraba IDP camps God raises bad leaders sometimes to teach people a lesson Ituah Ighodalo Giving construction jobs to foreign firms akin to importing poverty-Muftau Salawu Lightening the cost of governance burden on govts lean resources How we curbed corruption, increased revenue by 500% Lagos FMC Ndume not a rebel, confers credibility on Lawans victory Adeyeye Its a waste of time to attend varsities for certificates to get jobs Naallah, KWASU VC My friend wasnt allowed into a Dubai club for wearing jalabia Kemen W Law allows gov, others to buy off official cars when leaving office Dankwambo AG Government by the people Bello has failed because he didnt prepare for governorship Audus son Ogun indigenes bemoan attacks by soldiers, miscreants Army raids Ogun community for arms Abdulrazaq certificate: Claimant alleges police intimidation National Assembly poll: Wabara to head PDPs probe panel Women set for court over 35% representation US trains Lagos pupils Ibadan elders honour Ajimobi Decongesting Lagos ports, FGs top priority Osinbajo ACF backs FG on almajiri Troops kill 42 ISWAP terrorists in Lake Chad *VANGUARD* Bolt goes bigger, unveil corporate trip package EDO Crisis: If I were Governor Godwin Obaseki Abia secure ' Speaker Suspected criminal disguises as madman to rob residents Ondo gets $37m World Bank loan to upgrade health centres World Hydrography Day: Navy develops first indigenous navigational chart Marry me, or I die, says lady arraigned for breach of peace 3-month-old baby is youngest survivor of sexual abuse out of 4,514 Gov Bello condoles, assures family of Ibrahim Linco of Gov't support Photos: Osinbajo, Sanwo-Olu, Bala Usman tour Apapa traffic Daura zonal pilgrims office begins orientation for 137 intending pilgrims Ocheje, Kogi APC chieftain, dies at 69 2019 AFCON : Mahrez concerned about unknown quantity Kenya Residents, traders protest indiscriminate location of gas stations in Ondo Gbajabiamila receives rousing reception from APC members at Lagos airport DPO, girlfriend arrested over death of housemaid in Katsina State Kogi Guber Poll: Tenants don't dislodge landlords, Bello replies Seidu Ogah Osinbajo heads to U.S, meets Pence Oshiomhole showingu bias, needs to hear from all parties before taking sides ' Obaseki's aide Kalu expected to be fit for Guinea You have to be a successful artiste manager before you can make profit ' TinnoStiles Breaking: Ighalo's strike rescue 3 points for Eagles in AFCON opener Bollywood channel 'StarLife' debuts on StarTimes *THE NATION* Running with the vision! 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Masari, Safana bag heroes award in Katsina Obaseki to Oshiomhole: Youre biased, hear from all sides before taking sides Federal Cabinet: Imo APC chieftains advise Buhari Gbajabiamila seeks cooperation to better Nigeria Cracks in PDP over probe of Senators, Reps Edo hands of fellowship Intrigues in states as govs battle to form cabinet *THISDAY* Improving Foreign Capital Flow to Economy How Govt Policies Stifle Small Businesses Airtel Enters Nigerian Stock Market Nigerias Infrastructure Deficiency Makes Businesses Suffer Walking The Talk on The Almajiri Conundrum INECs Embarrassingy Rigmarole, Somersault on Server A Mission in Disarray When Ghanaians Turn the Table against Nigerian Investment Falcons Beaten by Germany, Crash out of World Cup Betway Boosts G12 Academy with Football Equipments FC Bulmaro Lagos, Tops Group A1 Nationwide League One Lagos Opens Viewing Centres for 2019 AFCON LSSC Hails IWS Day Nursery on Sports Fiesta Getting Nigerian Passport with Tears NBA: No Part of Nigeria is Safe We Killed 47 Terrorists, Captured Others, Claims Nigerian Army Flooding Forces Air Peace Flight off Runway at PH Airport Fayemi: Policy Somersault Crippled Education System No New Passport without National Identification Number, Says NIS Resolve OML 25 Dispute in Seven Days, Wike Tells Parties Pipeline Explosion Kills 10 in Rivers Okara, Literary Icon, Buried in Yenagoa ACF Declares Support for Overhauling of Almajiri System *THE SUN* Credible Election: FG must hand off funding of INEC 'Anglican Bishopu Gov. Dickson berates politicians for disconnect with people I shed tears whenever political leaders take oath of office ' Gen. Temlong Moving Nigeria forward: Apply Aburi accord, agbakoba advises buhari There's no way power'll return to Southwest in 2023 ' Prof Awuzie, Ex-Asuu Boss Next level: Balarabe musa tackles Buhari 2023 Brightest chance for igbo presidency ' chekwas okorie Imo guber: Action Alliance withdraws from election petition tribunal Play for honour of motherland ' Buhari charges Super Eagles FIFA WWC: Super Falcons crash out, lose 0-3 to Germany Just In: AFCON 2019: Super Eagles beat Burundi 1-0 Buhari to Super Eagles: Go get 'em, you have our support BoI woos maritime operators, disburses $82m for ships repairs, procurement Anambra bizman urge industrialists, CEOs to handover business to youths Nigerian student emerges winner in UN competition Gunmen kill 72-year'old community leader in Anambra Police uncover kidnappers hideout in Niger, arrest seven Soldier, 42 others killed as MNJTF deals heavy blow on ISWAP terrorists group Ondo Police arrest two suspected armed robbers Scores die in pipeline explosion in Rivers NYSC, Delta partner on skills acquisition PFN hails court ruling on open preaching in Kaduna Hand hygiene *GUARDIAN* Xtralarge Farms launch Agritech City, digital currency African cinema 2.0 Over two billion people suffer 'hidden hunger' globally N30,000 Minimum Wage: Backlog of pensions, salaries bog down Southeast governments Firing Adedayo and dilemma of hateful, polluted polity Another trophy will be ai fine way to say goodbye, says Mikel Rep members endorse Oyekoya for Deputy Minority Whip Air Peace plane overshoots runway at Port Harcourt Airport Ijaw group seeks monarch's forgiveness over land dispute Igbo are paying for not voting APC' Orji Kalu *DAILY TRUST* Buratai's Strange Blame Games Bauchi: A story of 1 House, 2 Speakers How much money do we need for a political revolution Pity the country that is outwitted by an oxymoron Re: Investigation: Under government school feeding programme Fedpoly Ekowe unions threaten indefinite strike over salary shortfall NUC approves 36 new courses for Dutse Varsity 45 schools participate in iRead Initiative Literacy competition in Osun Ways to reduce consumption of sugary drinks Iron may not improve fertility ' Study MNJTF kills 42 ISWAP members, destroys gun trucks Sickle Cell: 'Why genotype tests give wrong results Curing hunger by castingi out demons Elegy for Muhammad Mursi, president of Egypt I want to be Nigeria's first female airline owner ' Aisha Ja'e Sokoto: How PDP-backed Achida emerged Speaker Ikoku: The good, ugly sides of Rivers' spare parts market Super Eagles edge Swallows in Group B opener as Super Falcons crash out of World Cup 2019 Charity Shield Polo: Rubicon, 5th Chukker, Haske & Williams emerge champions Underdog Scone Polo wins Cartier Queen's Cup Indian Cricket League: Abuja Warriors take on Abuja Badshahs in final Tennis stars storm Abuja for CBN tourney 16-year-old Atthaya Thitikul breaks course record for lowest round *TRIBUNE* DPO, girlfriend arrested over death of housemaid in Katsina Buhari orders probe into Rivers deadly pipeline explosion Pipeline explosion rocks Rivers; casualty figure unknown, Police say 30 things President Buhari promised Nigerians in second term *LEADERSHIP* Power: Hail Mary Today, Candle Light Tomorrow Certificate Forgery: PDP Candidate Loses Appeal Against Kogi Lawmaker INEC Denies Resignation Of ICT Director Party Withdraws Suit Challenging Imo Guber Election At Tribunal U Jibrin's Wand In The Emergence Of Dogara, Gbajabiamila Intrigues As Akeredolu Reshuffles Cabinet As Fayemi's Tenure Bolsters NGF EU Post-election Assessment And Matters Arising Issues As Governors Sack LG Chairmen Tambuwal: Consolidating On Sokoto State Assembly Power Play In Edo Speaker's Emergence Bwari Residents Commend FG's Free Medical Service CDOWA Donates Food Items To Orphanage In Kogi Kwara: Hope Rises For Industrialisation Kogi Gov Tasks NYSC Members On Discipline PenCOM Sensitises Prospective Retirees On Hitch- free Retirement Osinbajo Leaves For US To Meet With Vice President Pence Oil Firm Wants Lawmaker Prosecuted Over Land Dispute Water Hyacinth Invade 70 N/Delta Communities ' IYC Masari Wins Best Governor Prize In National Politics Republic Of Guinea Embraces AFRIMA 2019 World Presidents Who Were Entertainers Cybercrime Destroying Our Youths ' Falz *BLUE PRINT* Dalung hails Super Eagles AFCON victory against Burundi, consoles Super Falcons AFCON 2019: Buhari watches as Super Eagles pick three points off Burundi #Live: Ighalo to the rescue as Super Eagles open 2019 AFCON account with victory over Burundi #Live: Game over for Super Falcons as Germany triumph, progress to World Cup quarterfinal Pipeline explosion: 3 confirmed dead in Rivers, fire still raging The world is hungry! #Live: It's Germany 2-0 Super Falcons at half-time' World Cup knockout game on! MJTF troops kill 47 ISWAP terrorists in Lake Chad Island, military base Breaking: Tragedy averted as Air Peace plane overshoots runway amidst heavy downpour #Live ' World Cup Knockout: Oshoala drops to bench, Kanu makes Super Falcons X1 vs Germany ' match kicks 4.30pm *BUSINESSDAY* Is Nigeria Ready for Medical Marijuana Addis Ababa: An ideal getaway from boisterous city life Eyes on Buhari on gender-balancing in next cabinet/appointments 2019 election petition: All eyes on the Judiciary When CAN hosted Sanwo-Olu at Gbagada, Lagos Nigeria is not yet ripe for state police -Onyebueke Study identifies barriers to breast cancer treatment in Nigeria, Sub-Saharan Africa Takes fromFood and Beverage West Africa Fair, 2019 On Lagos'renewed efforts at tackling gridlock Nigeria needs visionary fathers, says Amos Fenwa *SPORTS* 100 caps and opener for Popp as Germany marches on - CNN 16-year-old Atthaya Thitikul breaks course record for lowest round - Daily Trust 2019 Charity Shield Polo:j Rubicon, 5th Chukker, Haske & Williams emerge champions - Daily Trust 2019 NHL Draft Results: Team-by-Team Grades for Notable Picks - Bleacher Report 300 Wrestlers For Gov Dickson Wrestling Classics - Leadership 30th Racehorse Dies at Santa Anita on Last Weekend Before Track Closes - Bleacher Report 4-Star LB Prospect Derekl Wingo Commits to Florida After Decommitting from PSU - Bleacher Report Afcon 2019: Nigeria were lucky to score against Burundi ' John Obi Mikel - Goal AFCON 2019: Rohr Pleased With Eagles' Winning Start Against Burundi - Complete Sports AFCON 2019: Super Eagles Beat B urundi 1-0 - Leadership *GOOD MORNING* Read the full article
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junker-town · 7 years
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British Open 2017: Ian Poulter rebounds from ‘low, down’ to contender at Royal Birkdale
Ian Poulter bounces back from nearly losing his PGA Tour card and having to qualify for the British Open to playing himself into a spot high up on the leaderboard at Royal Birkdale.
Ian Poulter could not have imagined back in April, when his playing career hit rock bottom, that he would be in contention for his first major championship title just three months later at the British Open.
But after a second-round 70 at Royal Birkdale following his best-ever opening round in a major (67), the Englishman more notorious for his flamboyant couture and expensive cars than his prowess in any of golf’s four most prestigious events enters the weekend squarely in the thick of things, just three shots off the sizzling 6-under (65-69) pace of 18- and 36-hole leader Jordan Spieth.
Hats off to @IanJamesPoulter (67) on his lowest first round EVER in a major. He's got a share of #TheOpen lead. http://pic.twitter.com/UaXRKqtSdr
— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 20, 2017
Indeed, Poulter’s T3 standing after battling the wind and rain on the English coast on Friday marks only the second time in 16 starts at the British Open that he will tee off on Saturday inside the top 10 (he was ninth after two rounds in 2002 at Muirfield).
Now that was a tough day... strong winds, strong driving rain ☔️ #TheOpen and Birkdale bit hard today. Buzzing for the weekend. http://pic.twitter.com/fdmxyIz9t7
— Ian Poulter (@IanJamesPoulter) July 21, 2017
Pundits are making much of the remarkable round-two comeback that Rory McIlroy made after getting off to a horrid, 5-over start through six holes on Thursday. But a Poulter victory, though highly improbable given the likes of multiple-major winners Spieth, McIlroy, and Bubba Watson populating the top of the leaderboard, would make for a much more dramatic story of sports redemption.
Ranked 184th in the world to start the year due largely to a foot injury that restricted him to just 12 PGA Tour starts in 2016, Poulter dropped to 195th after missing the cut at the Valero Texas Open in April. It was a dark time for the outspoken Brit, whose major medical extension afforded him 10 tourneys in 2017 to earn sufficient FedEx Cup points and on-course earnings to keep full playing privileges on tour.
“I was low. I was down. I was not happy playing golf,” Poulter told reporters Friday. “And obviously things just multiply when you're in that situation.”
It was only after another player on a major medical extension, Brian Gay, discovered and informed officials about a quirk in the tour's points-distribution restructuring that Poulter learned he had a second chance on the links. He immediately went out and finished in a tie for second at The Players Championship.
Poulter still had to play a 36-hole qualifier to make it into this week’s Open and he is clearly enjoying every moment in the limelight and ready to mix it up with some of the world’s best for the Claret Jug.
“I'm loving it. I really am,” he gushed. “This is a massive bonus for me to be in this position [after qualifying for the Open]. I haven't played a major for a little while and I can't wait. I'm excited. I'm pumped up. I feel my game's coming back to form.
“So, yeah, I mean I'm ready to go out there toe to toe with anyone this weekend.”
Even if the two-time tour winner is unable to pull off an extremely unlikely victory this week, at least one member of the Poulter clan is already a winner. Ian’s son Luke took some cash from John Daly’s son, John Jr., after beating him in an eight-hole contest at a nearby track after Thursday’s opening round of the Open.
The proud papa bragged on Thursday night to his Twitter followers about his offspring’s W.
Little Poults takes on little John @PGA_JohnDaly and it was a victory for the Poults Boom http://pic.twitter.com/bDSrks07py
— Ian Poulter (@IanJamesPoulter) July 20, 2017
On Friday, after noting that younger Poulter needled Little John about his triumph, Ian the Elder joked that Luke did not inherit such braggadocio from him.
"I'm not sure [where Luke learned such behavior],” Poulter said with a laugh. “It must be his mother.”
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gayelderstourney · 8 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 3
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Propaganda:
Ravenpaw/Barley:
kitties who were outcast from previous groups they were a part of and find and live with each other. they are canonical mates even though theyre both dudes. they grow old together, but ravenpaw gets cancer and dies before barley (he lives to be considered old in warrior cats years). however ravenpaw wanted to be in the same kitty afterlife that barley will go to, so they can be together in kitty afterlife. barley is still alive though as far as we know and might be the oldest living cat in the series now. also i just think its funny to call little kitty cats "old man yaoi"
Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:
THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.
they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them
they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!
Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-
929 notes · View notes
gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 2
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Propaganda:
Fiddleford McGucket/Stanford Pines:
lab "partners" who broke the laws of physics and nature together but it went horribly wrong and one of them got stranded in alternate dimensions and the other wiped his memory so hard he went mad. 30 years later and they were finally able to reunite during the apocalypse. even though both had changed so much they wanted to forgive each other and move forwards
if fiddauthor isn't real then why is there only one bed in the bunker. if fiddauthor isn't real then why did they go stargazing and talk about wanting to start a family. if fiddauthor isn't real then why "my partner" and "my fiddleford". if fiddauthor isn't real then why does fiddleford subconsciously hang out around the shack decades after he stopped living there. if fiddauthor isn't real then why does ford have dreams about him every night. if fiddauthor isn't real then why did fiddleford leave his son and his failing/failed marriage to go live alone in an isolated cottage in the woods with his best friend from college. if fiddauthor isn't real then why is ford's ideal world one where he gets to work with fiddleford for the rest of time. if fiddauthor isn't real then why "life would be a nightmare without them" and "it's the most meaningful thing in the world". if fiddauthor isn't real then why did alex hirsch change that one scene in the book to sound less gay. if fiddauthor isn't real then why did fiddleford make his laptop password ford's name. if fiddauthor isn't real then why did they hold hands while hugging. if fiddauthor isn't real then why "i could have sworn that as he joyfully played, i could see the age lift off his face, and see the fiddleford who had been my friend so many years ago". IF FIDDAUTHOR ISN'T REAL THEN WHY DID FORD'S MORE HONEST RETELLING OF THE PORTAL SCENE FEATURE HIM GENTLY CRADLING FIDDLEFORD IN HIS ARMS
Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:
THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.
they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them
they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!
Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-
804 notes · View notes
gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1
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Propaganda:
Gerald Robotnik/Black Doom:
Scientist who wants to blow up the world and his evil alien boyfriend
Dude they had a son together and his name is shadow the hedgehog
They created Shadow the hedgehog together. Yes Shadow the hedgehog. This is canon. Theyre also super divorced just trust me on this.their old man yaoi is real
we as a society would not have shadow the hedgehog without their old man yaoi
old man fucks alien so he can bring his daughter back from space safely, gives birth to sad gay hedgehog
you KNOW they fucked
they’re shadow the hedgehogs dads. Like canonically. black doom is an alien god guy and gerald is eggmans grandpa who didn’t love him enough and gave him daddy issues. he also went insane after the government killed his granddaughter (who he loved instead of eggman) and tried to kill humanity :3 these two are like bitter exes to me. they’re both dead. the devil from the bible fucked that old man
Black Doom and Gerald Robotnik are Shadow the Hedgehogs dads. Gerald is a (silly, slightly insane) old scientist and Black Doom is a two thousand year old alien who wants to destroy the Earth. Its not canon but Shadow's gay dads mean everything to me. They kiss and hold hands on the space colony.
IM DOING MY PART!!! GERALDOOM SWEEP BAYBEEEEEEE!!! GO SHADOW’S GAY DADS!
Sheo/The Nailsmith:
It's really nice because you unlock it after the nailsmith asks you to kill him with the pure nail and you refuse and walk away. He then says he was wandering hallownest without purpose until he found sheo who helped him discover that there was more to life than just one calling. These two are probably the only characters in the game to have a genuinely happy ending
The nailsmith loses his purpose in life after finishing his ultimate masterpiece, his lifelong goal, the pure nail. He requests the protagonist to try the nail on him, but If you refuse, he will find sheo who helps him to find new meaning in life and realise that there is more to life by teaching him different crafts. They can then be seen sculping figurines together, and sheo is also painting the nailsmith.They share a common love for art and crafts and inspire each other. Sheo's story is that he was a nailmaster, but got tired of it, and put down his nail to pick up a paintbrush. I think it's beautiful that he could help the nailsmith realise what he himself did. They both also used to live in solitude without even realising how lonely they were, and I think it's cute tuhat they can do art together now :]
They are two bugs retired from their career and making better lives for themselves and they’re gay about it. Nailsmith believes at first that he has nothing left after creating the perfect nail and asks the knight to strike him down, and if you don’t, he meets Sheo, a retired nailmaster finding a new calling in painting and sculpting. They find a shared love in creating things and Nailsmith finds a new calling in art as well. The achievement you get for uniting them is called “Happy Couple”
Gay bugs gay bugs gay bugs (Cw mention of suicide) They both used to pursue their one passion in life: forging the perfect nail (sword) for the Nailsmith and the art of combat for Sheo. Sheo realized he could just leave that life when he lost his passion for fighting, and he found himself a new purpose in life: art. However, he always seemed very lonely, completely isolated by all other bugs in his hidden house in the middle of a thorn jungle. When The Nailsmith achieved his goal and forged the perfect nail, he lost his purpose in life and his will to live. He asks the player to kill him. However, if the player refuses, he can later be found in Sheo's house, modelling for Sheo or sculpting figurines with him. He thanks the player for not fulfilling his request, because he has found a new calling in life here, making art together with Sheo. They both express how happy they are to no longer be alone. This also gives you the "Happy Couple" achievement, confirming that they are a couple.
THEY'RE CANON!!! They're fucking canon!!! You can talk to them at one point after doing a Bunch of Stuff to get them to meet each other and you get an achievement called "Happy Couple"!!! Gotta love old man yuri
835 notes · View notes
gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1
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Propaganda:
Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:
THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.
they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them
they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!
Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-
Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio:
well you see they used to be friends but were on opposite sides of the great turf war. cuttlefish gets a 14 year old to go stop octavios army. also they argue in splatoon 3 which is just part of the 100+ year divorce arc BUT AT THE FINAL BOSS IN THE JAPANESE VERSION THEY SHARE THE ICONIC LINE THAT CUES THE CALAMARI INKANTATION AND IN THE ENGLISH CUTTLEFISH TELLS OCTAVIO TO "HIT IT" AND START THE MUSIC AND MUSIC IS SO IMPORTANT TO THE SPLATOON UNIVERSE YAAAAA ik its grasping but its lovers to enemies
Literally I have seen so many people call this old man yaoi.
Old men divorce!!!
They're old men who made their divorce the problem of every young person in their lives <3. 100 years ago during the Great Turf War between inklings and octarians, Craig and Octavio were the chosen ambassadors of their respective species. They got along well, but unfortunately found themselves on opposite sides of the war. During one of the battles Craig shot Octavio in the heart. The inlkings won the war and the octarians were forced underground. For years afterward both men grew bitter towards each other, and eventually Octavio attacked the new Squidbeak Splatoon (a group of secret agents recruited by Craig). Octavio lost both times and got imprisoned in a giant snow globe (and Craig calls him cute). In the latest game Octavio got over his hatred for Inklings (Craig's species) and used his flying mech to help defeat the BBEG of the game. After the final fight, Craig said something to the effect of 'that old rascal turned out to be not so bad!'.
Alright ok hear me out! These two old men have fought in wars for their races against each other and have the craziest pathetic old man homoerotic tension ever. They like, went from at least respecting each other before the war and then they were forced to fight each other and then when Cuttlefish's side won, Octavio went underground like a pathetic lil wet cat and later on he kidnapped Cuttlefish because of game related reasons and both of them still have way too much homoerotic tension!!! And then Octavio gets owned and then in the second game Octavio decides that "Hey actually, lets kidnap Cuttlefish's granddaughter" and the old man isnt even there cause hes busy being a pathetic old man in the under-underground!!! And in the third game they go fron rival/enemies to reluctantly working together to save the world from actual extinction bc some durry bitch wants to cover it in fuzzy ooze and like, both of them have so much old man ship potential and just- theyre still pining for each other even after over a 100 years man,,,,
I personally headcanon Cap'n Cuttlefish as homophobic, but I see the ship a lot and think it's funny.
They’re both at least like 125 probably a bit older, they are so divorced, like peak lovers to enemies back to lovers, Cap’n Cuttlefish calls Octavio cute in Splatoon one immediately after you rescue him from Octavio kidnapping him? So dysfunctional, so gay, so old
They fought in the Great Turf War which was said to be over 100 years ago, Capn Cuttlefish was, well, a captain I believe (he had some sort of rank even if he wasn't a captain, like he led a battle that's singled out in the sunken scrolls of the first game). they act so divorced in the singleplayer mode like they cannot stop insulting each other specifically but octavio always comes back and like kidnaps or insults captain cuttlefish it's so. and when the great zapfish gets stolen in splatoon 3 captain cuttlefish is like "it's the octarians again i know it" like divorced behavior. also it wasn't this time and octavio gets super weird about it. maybe you should stop using children as props in your drama though.
my favorite war crime divorcees <3
They basically are friends to enemies to lovers. Both of them fought in a war that hurt DJ Octavio so bad he can’t become an inkling.
friends -> enemies -> lovers. what more is there to say
they are soooo divorced
they were so gay their breakup ended a war
Craig Cuttlefish got sucked dry by a bear
they got divorced but then they got remarried . they fuckinf hate eachother but they also make out sloppy style and i do not know how that works because neither of them have mouths in their swim form which they are both permanently stuck in. love wins but also loses at the same time with these fucking losers
they are sooo divorced omg. istg they were dating when they were younger and then war n shit happened and now theyre bitter exes who probably still make out sometimes. Makes it so much funnier that theyre old ass men (both over 100!) and Cuttlefish has grandkids
They were on opposite sides of a war and still fell in love
972 notes · View notes
gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 2
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Propaganda:
Irving Bailiff/Burt Goodman:
they are TRAPPED in capitalist dystopian hell and yet gay love persists. literally they are fighting for their got damn lives to be gay. they've been subjected to evil fucked up brain surgery to make them forget who they are outside of the workplace and yet. AND YET. they fall in love INSIDE the workplace and gain the desire to fight their oppressors so they can do old man yaoi activities. i forgot to take my adderall today sorry im not forming coherent thoughts but they made christopher walken yaoi real
They have only ever experienced being at work and are desperately trying to find meaning with no memory of the outside world. Fraternization is against the rules as well. The yearning is so much.
they are 2 sad old men who are in forbidden love. they bond over a mutal love of corporate art & company tote bags. their love inspired Irving to rebel against his employers for the first time ever. Burt is even Christopher Walken.
They’re so quietly sweet and heart-wrenching… fell in love on the ‘inside’ (they both work a job that ‘severs’ their work memories from their out-of-work memories; inside the job, they have no idea who they are on the outside or what the world is like, but they found each other and found a little bit of love and meaning and happiness inside the nightmare corporate world that is their job)
canonically in love with each other! in the show people sever their consciousness so they aren't aware when they're working. this creates a separate person that only exists while they're at the office, who doesn't share any memories with the person they are on the outside. these two old men bond and find comfort in each other despite the dystopian hell situation they're in
Old men having a forbidden romance while stuck in a hellish workplace dystopia
These two old men know nothing outside of their company propaganda, which says romance is forbidden, and they still choose each other. They bond over paintings, discuss company policy in each other's arms like they're debating scripture on whether their love is allowed. They're sooo gay and it's so sweet to see true, canonical old man yaoi
Weird old man office romance except they only exist inside the bounds of the world’s worst office building and they go on a little date to a room full of plastic plants
Ravenpaw/Barley:
kitties who were outcast from previous groups they were a part of and find and live with each other. they are canonical mates even though theyre both dudes. they grow old together, but ravenpaw gets cancer and dies before barley (he lives to be considered old in warrior cats years). however ravenpaw wanted to be in the same kitty afterlife that barley will go to, so they can be together in kitty afterlife. barley is still alive though as far as we know and might be the oldest living cat in the series now. also i just think its funny to call little kitty cats "old man yaoi"
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gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD WOMAN YURI BRACKET ROUND 2
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Propaganda:
May Parker/Olivia Octavius:
THE old woman yuri crackship when this gd movie came out just because of Olivia saying "my friends call me Liv" and May calling her Liv when she breaks into her house. remember your herstory
remember when this was a thing
Raven Darkholme/Irene Adler:
when they met one was pretending to be Sherlock Holmes. one of them is disabled (blind). they raised a teenager together and tried to turn her evil. one was fully ready to destroy a country to get the other back.
Ok so I’m not sure if this falls under the looks elderly for raven since she can look however she wants and Irene looks younger since she’s been resurrected but they are old woman yuri to me since these old evil women are so in love it hurts and they raised a daughter together and even more but I have to go to bed now
evil immortal mutant lesbians. what's not to love.
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gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 2
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Propaganda:
Sheo/The Nailsmith:
It's really nice because you unlock it after the nailsmith asks you to kill him with the pure nail and you refuse and walk away. He then says he was wandering hallownest without purpose until he found sheo who helped him discover that there was more to life than just one calling. These two are probably the only characters in the game to have a genuinely happy ending
The nailsmith loses his purpose in life after finishing his ultimate masterpiece, his lifelong goal, the pure nail. He requests the protagonist to try the nail on him, but If you refuse, he will find sheo who helps him to find new meaning in life and realise that there is more to life by teaching him different crafts. They can then be seen sculping figurines together, and sheo is also painting the nailsmith.They share a common love for art and crafts and inspire each other. Sheo's story is that he was a nailmaster, but got tired of it, and put down his nail to pick up a paintbrush. I think it's beautiful that he could help the nailsmith realise what he himself did. They both also used to live in solitude without even realising how lonely they were, and I think it's cute tuhat they can do art together now :]
They are two bugs retired from their career and making better lives for themselves and they’re gay about it. Nailsmith believes at first that he has nothing left after creating the perfect nail and asks the knight to strike him down, and if you don’t, he meets Sheo, a retired nailmaster finding a new calling in painting and sculpting. They find a shared love in creating things and Nailsmith finds a new calling in art as well. The achievement you get for uniting them is called “Happy Couple”
Gay bugs gay bugs gay bugs (Cw mention of suicide) They both used to pursue their one passion in life: forging the perfect nail (sword) for the Nailsmith and the art of combat for Sheo. Sheo realized he could just leave that life when he lost his passion for fighting, and he found himself a new purpose in life: art. However, he always seemed very lonely, completely isolated by all other bugs in his hidden house in the middle of a thorn jungle. When The Nailsmith achieved his goal and forged the perfect nail, he lost his purpose in life and his will to live. He asks the player to kill him. However, if the player refuses, he can later be found in Sheo's house, modelling for Sheo or sculpting figurines with him. He thanks the player for not fulfilling his request, because he has found a new calling in life here, making art together with Sheo. They both express how happy they are to no longer be alone. This also gives you the "Happy Couple" achievement, confirming that they are a couple.
THEY'RE CANON!!! They're fucking canon!!! You can talk to them at one point after doing a Bunch of Stuff to get them to meet each other and you get an achievement called "Happy Couple"!!! Gotta love old man yuri
Jean-Luc Picard/Q:
theyre kind of the ogs. q fucked that old man for SURE. if they arent old enough for you in the next generation (1987-1984) they probably will be in picard (2020-2023). also when i went looking for the pic i included i googled “star trek picard q in bed” and there were actually multiple different instances of that happening that popped up
um it’s unclear what age Q is supposed to be in TNG but in Picard they’re both undeniably old as balls. Q has godlike powers that he just uses to hang out with this bald old man in increasingly strange and annoying ways. And call him “mon capitane” like a freak and materialize next to him in bed and say Good Morning Darling and lounge all over the Enterprise like a fruit anyways I think they’re abnormal and I like them
what if you were an all powerful nearly omnipotent being who has been worshipped as a god on planets across the farthest reaches of space and the first guy to just not give a shit about you makes you fall madly in love with him
I can’t get my thoughts clear right now but they mean so much to me. They’re meant to be with each other ok. the sequel to spirk. they would be canon if paramount werent COWARDS
if I were an entity as old as the universe itself and I kept visiting some old guy on a spaceship trying to justify the existence of humanity it would 100% be for gay reasons and Q understands this concept on an intimate level actually
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gayelderstourney · 9 months
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1
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Propaganda:
Jean Valjean/Javert:
One of the OG enemies to lovers. In the novel and musical, Valjean and Javert have complex, intertwined, and mirrored narratives which make them a fascinating ship to analyze. Also, there is a lot of hot fanfiction about them.
javert chases valjean around for at least 20 years because he broke parole and that's a big plot point. (jvj went to jail for bread theft if it matters.) considering how long that is and how much javert feels the need to do said chasing around that's kinda gay. also at one point javert is employed by valjean (except he doesn't know it's him and knows him as m. madeleine) and then asks madeleine to fire him. because he thought he was valjean and wanted to send him to jail even though he IS valjean. but some other guy got framed instead so it checks out and then WAY later on the barricades javert gets captured by a bunch of college students and valjean sets him free. this causes javert to have an existential crisis because 'OH NO HE'S A CRIMINAL BUT HE'S NICE TO ME' and then he kills himself. (also they have a very awkward carriage ride together. along with the unconscious body of valjean's future son-in-law. after valjean was in the parisian sewers and therefore covered in sewer water.)
what if i was an escaped convict and also the extremely benevolent mayor of a small jet producing town who broke into people's houses to give them money. and you were a furry cop trying to arrest me anyway. and then i save you from execution in the June rebellion and you realise that the police are not a symbol of justice but authority and being a criminal in the eyes of the law is completely separate from being a bad person. and this fucked you up so bad you killed yourself.
fuck those twinks in les mis these are the real finest gay love story victor hugo ever invented. javert literally followed valjean across france for decades because of his psychosexual obsession with recapturing him. valjean had the chance to kill him and spared his life, thus jump-starting javert's entire emotional arc. they're deranged and obsessive and they should kiss on the mouth
javert threw himself off a bridge bcs he was so mad the guy he was obsessively chasing was actually a good person depsite being a criminal theres gay ass old man yuri here
When you build your entire life around the existence of a man you despise is that still gay or do we need to invent something that transcends homosexuality. Asking for a friend.
fellas is it gay to spend your entire life chasing another man to arrest him even though all he did was steal a loaf of bread
Ravenpaw/Barley:
kitties who were outcast from previous groups they were a part of and find and live with each other. they are canonical mates even though theyre both dudes. they grow old together, but ravenpaw gets cancer and dies before barley (he lives to be considered old in warrior cats years). however ravenpaw wanted to be in the same kitty afterlife that barley will go to, so they can be together in kitty afterlife. barley is still alive though as far as we know and might be the oldest living cat in the series now. also i just think its funny to call little kitty cats "old man yaoi"
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