#so it makes sense that shes just not in the story anymore. like instead of chasing what little agency she could she carved out what little | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creedslove · 11 days

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JOEL'S EX WIFE WANTING HIM BACK - HEADCANONS ✨

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: hi besties!!! Just a small little idea I got while I was watching some good old female rivalry soap opera drama over breakfast ❤️

Warnings: Sarah is a teen here ❤️

• when you got together with Joel, Sarah was already 12, her mom had been gone since she was a baby and though neither of them had any problems about talking about what happened, it wasn't a frequent subject, even if they treated it with naturally, they didn't like talking about it and it was completely understandable, after all, Joel had been abandoned with a weeks old baby and that baby had to grow up without her mother around

• so you always simply decided to pretend she never really existed in the first place, and technically, in your life, she never really did it, because from the moment you began dating Joel, he wasn't her ex-husband anymore, but instead, he was your boyfriend, and Sarah wasn't really her daughter, but your stepdaughter and you both had learned how to love and enjoy each other's company

• you were leading a happy life with the Millers, being part of their household and falling into the same routine as they did, as you spent longer at their place than at your own, until it didn't make any sense for you to keep paying rent, after all, you and Joel were very much together and in love and the natural course of your relationship would be of course, getting married or something like that

• you were happy with your little family, Sarah's issues regarding her mom seemed to be filled up pretty good by you once you joined the family, as she finally had someone she could talk to about boys and other girl stuff. She also really approved yours and Joel's relationship, always commenting on how happy you made her dad and how nice it was to have a more family like routine

• things were good and happy and you couldn't wish for anything more than that, you were as pleased as you could be, and you were pretty sure Joel was the man of your dreams, there was no way you could love someone as much as you loved him and so was the story of how the Millers became a very happy family

• and that was why it shocked the fourth of you - because Tommy was hella shocked as well - when Sarah's mom, Angela, decided to get in touch with Joel; she had found him on Facebook and messaged him, much to his shock, he'd done the same with Sarah, just like that, texting the daughter she'd abandoned as if she was just an old pal saying hello after losing touch for years

• at first, the two of them decided to ignore it, not sure how to act or how to even respond to it, but after a couple of days more in which Angela kept insisting on texting, more like begging Joel for a chance to talk, he decided to talk to his daughter and get to a conclusion together and after considering a lot together, they decided they would answer to her and see what she wanted

• and of course Angela sent quite a few sob sad texts saying how hard things were for her, how much she'd missed her family and mostly her daughter and how she regretted leaving. Joel wasn't quite convinced with that, quite the opposite, he was still bitter and angry at everything that went on, but he could tell Angela's words somehow messed up with Sarah's feelings, after all, she was a reject baby by her mom and at some level, she needed her approval in any way

• so Joel and Sarah agreed to meet up with Angela again, something small, at a coffee shop where they could all sit down and talk things through so they could see how things went between them, you'd also decided not to show up, it was such an intimate moment, you didn't belong in that scenario and you also had no reasons to be suspicious of Joel, you loved and trusted him and he trusted and loved you back, there was no reason to worry about anything at all

• you were genuinely happy to know Sarah had warmed up for her mom and the two of them hit off, having a lot in common and deciding to spend more time together, going on dinners, lunches and movie sessions together; it seemed Angela's presence was a benefit for them, and it was, you liked to see Sarah so happy about her return, it only became a problem when Angela started to show up more and more often at Joel's home

• it was your home too, and as much as you didn't want to be selfish or annoying, you had to admit it bothered you A LOT she was all the time around, at first she started with smaller things, such as visiting you all on Sunday afternoon, or bringing up a dessert, which of course, had to be Joel's favorite and kept gushing about the times they were still married; Angela was a pretty woman, you couldn't deny that, and the fact she seemed so willing to be nice and pleasant around her ex-husband

• and that imposition of her presence into your house and your family was beginning to bother you even more; suddenly, Sarah didn't want to go to the mall with you anymore, instead, she wanted to go with her mom. She didn't want to bake cookies with you anymore because your cookies had that sugar thing in the bottom so she liked her mom's better and as much as you tried understanding Sarah needed and had all the right to enjoy her mom's company and presence, it still hurt you, because you missed Sarah, and yet, it felt as if you weren't important to her anymore

• Seeing the shifts in your dynamics with Sarah, Joel tried to be understanding and even offered himself to talk to her, but you dismissed the idea, it was embarrassing enough you were feeling jealous, you didn't need Joel to get into the middle of that, but it still made you upset when Sarah decided to go to the movies with her mom to watch the newest Ghostbusters movie you two had agreed on going together

• and just as Angela stole Sarah from you, she was more than willing to steal Joel as well: she wanted him, he was even more handsome, his business became successful and he lived comfortably and now Sarah wasn't an annoying baby anymore, it was fun to be around her and she wanted her family back

• so to you, things started going sour when you decided to stop by Joel's business to bring him lunch; you'd prepared him a pretty good lunchbox and you were very excited to see his reaction, however, when you got to his small office, you found him and Angela eating a foot long sub, as it was kind of an inside joke between them from when they were young

"oh shit baby, I had no idea you'd bring me lunch, if I knew it..."

• Joel said wiping his mouth with a napkin as he had sauce on his beard like an idiotic child would and it made your blood boil, Angela simply smirked at you and you knew exactly what she was doing, your gut feeling was right all along, she was a filthy bitch

"it's fine Joel, it's just a sandwich, it's not like you're cheating"

• you didn't know exactly why you said that, it was the first time in your life you had ever said that towards Joel because it had never even crossed your mind there might be a possibility of it happening, but once you said those sour words, an awkward silence, a think tension in the room spread and you felt extremely uncomfortable to be there

"I'm sorry, you can give the lunchbox to Tommy in case he hasn't had lunch if you want, that way the food won't go to waste"

• you told Joel and turned to Angela, you didn't want to hide how much you didn't like the fact she snuck into his office to bring him lunch like a devoted wife

"you know, it's an odd choice to bring your ex-husband lunch instead of your daughter, I'm sure Sarah is starving right now..."

• in the evening, Joel felt very bad about what had happened, he hadn't done anything wrong, but at the same time it was wrong because even if it was just a sandwich, it wasn't about the sandwich but rather who had brought it to him, he knew it had hurt your feelings and he wanted to make it up to you, so he arrived home, using all his charms, his puppy eyes, his sweet talking and his soft neck kisses to convince you to go out with him; he was going to take you out for dinner: at a restaurant, not a bar for beer and burgers, but an actual meal

• you enjoyed your time with him, appreciating his effort to make something nice for you, so you grabbed a table, ordered meals and enjoyed each other's companies, as Joel held your hand and talked about his day, telling you how much he'd missed you and how gorgeous you were, dinner was going smoothly and what happened during lunch time had almost faded from your mind, when you heard someone clearing their throat

"oh hey... Enjoying some romantic dinner? That's a good place, right? Joel used to bring me here every so often, money was very short back then, but he always made an effort"

• Angela gave the two of you a bright smile, loving every single ounce of anger that clearly went through your face, what the fuck was that disgusting woman doing there? Why did she have to ruin your date night like that? It made your blood boiling, Joel immediately sensed the tension and tried coming up with something to say, but Angela just shrugged

"I came over just to grab myself some dinner, excuse me and enjoy your evening"

• she faked sympathy and blew Joel a kiss, knowing damn well the whole evening was already ruined for you, which made her pretty good about herself

• once you got home, you decided to have a heartfelt conversation with Joel, tell him every single thing that was bothering you, after all, communication had always been a big deal for you and it was important for you to open up and be straightforward about the matter, and he agreed with you, he said Angela was crossing the boundary and he assured you he was gonna talk to her

• so during the next few days, things were alright again between you and your sweet Joel; you were still very much in love and Sarah had been so busy with her tests at school, you didn't even hear of Angela's name and you'd be lying if you said you weren't happy about it, it was a relief she wasn't around and you even suggested Joel to make barbecue on Saturday, you'd have an extra shift but then you could enjoy the weekend with your family

• he gladly accepted it and you spent the rest of your week quite excited for it, you liked his barbecue, it was such a dad trait he had and you wanted to spend some time in bed with him too, once you arrived from work, you smiled as you saw Tommy's truck and you could smell the delicious scent of food, as you got off your own car, you went straight to the backyard, smiling from ear to ear

• but it didn't last long, your smile died when you spotted Angela; she was wearing a short summer dress and laughed happily at something Joel said, it must've been so funny because Sarah was laughing too. Angela was holding a bowl of egg salad and the moment she saw you, her own smile died, as if she was the one who had her day ruined by an intruder in her family, and not the other way around

• you frowned as Sarah sighed at seeing you, it didn't take a rocket science genius to see she was disappointed in seeing you there, as if you had got in the way between her mom and dad, you stared at Joel, your eyes filling up with angry tears as he immediately walked to you, holding you by the waist

"baby..."

"I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face and when I come back I don't wanna see this woman here, I've had enough, I don't care if she's your ex or Sarah's mom, she clearly wants to take my place and sometimes I feel like she has already..."

"don't say that, baby girl, that's not true"

"so get rid of her Joel"

• you left to the bathroom so you could freshen up and clear up your mind; hoping she would be gone by then, you didn't want to see her at all, so once you stepped into the kitchen, you were ready to start your weekend, with the exception of the scene before your eyes: Angela's lips on Joel's

• you felt as if you lost the ground from under your feet, and even if Joel shoved her away from him and began apologizing one hundred times, you'd had enough; Angela got what she wanted: you out of the way

• you ignored everything Joel said, as you blinked your tears and shook your head, leaving the house, the house that used to be your home, but now you weren't so sure; maybe all you did all that time was fill up the absence of Angela, and now, that Joel and Sarah had the original one, they didn't need you anymore

• that was only one out of many thoughts that crossed your mind, you didn't want to believe that, you loved Joel and Sarah and you wanted to continue thinking they also love you, but your heart was broken and Joel Miller was to blame 💔

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller headcanon #joel miller headcanons

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nvuy · 4 days

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nuvy. nuvy have you heard of the boothill leaks.

YES i did *salutes*

boothill story leaks under cut;

girl dad girl dad

soooo what about boothill falling in love with a single parent with a daughter hmm hmm

like god if he doesn’t just accidently run into the kid and she squeals over him because “hey!! cool robot man!!” and you chase her down and apologise.

he freezes, because your daughter looks so much like his did.

same hair colour, same eye colour, same energy that he could barely keep up with, just learning to walk on two feet properly and string together words to form simple sentences.

it absolutely destroys him. in the worst and best way possible. especially since your daughter practically develops an admiration for him on the spot, begs to be carried, and you’re confused because “sweetie, you shouldn’t be talking to strangers.”

like like.,,,, example……..

Something small and warm wraps around his hand and Boothill glances up quickly from his lap.

There was a little girl searching for his fingers, barely three years old by the looks of it. Pretty tresses of black hair flowing in the wind near the shoreline, sniffling and barely standing on short wobbly legs.

“I need help,” she hiccups, and Boothill melts on the spot. So small and helpless, like a baby bird away from its mother’s nest. “I can’t find my–”

And of course, he stands up, dusts off his pants, and offers her his hand. He guides her away from the beach back towards the market where crowds of people swarm the stalls.

It’s nighttime, cold, and definitely no place for a little girl to be by herself.

“What’s your parents look like, princess?”

He busies himself searching for any targets that would make sense given the girl’s prattling of your appearance down to the colour of your shoes—“White. Like mine.” Hers light up purple with each step she takes—too many faces, too many people.

He stands to give up when he hears somebody frantically running around like a lunatic to every single store, asking if they’ve seen a little girl with light up sneakers wandering about.

“Calm down. I’m sure she’s around here somewhere,” he heard one of the assistants try.

Another shopkeeper offers a pitiful frown and shakes their head.

Boothill nudges the girl, squeezing her small hand in his, careful of his strength around fragile bones. “Is that them?”

She quickly wipes the tears from her face. She then nods and takes off into a sprint to lunge at you, still sobbing when she wraps her arms around your leg.

You sigh in relief and scoop her up into your arms.

Boothill then has an entire conundrum in the middle of the market square. For one, your daughter is waving him over with a smile on her face. Two, you looked like you were about two seconds away from passing out in shock. Your clothes are askew, hair a mess, face flushed and yet simultaneously drained of blood.

He steps closer anyway, though hesitantly. He can’t say no to the little thing whose grin has now grown double the size of her face.

“This is the man that helped me,” she explained softly to you, pointing at him with a small finger.

You scanned him over.

For a moment, he thought you were going to turn around and book it in the other direction. A random ‘robot man’ in the centre of the town square was probably the least most inviting thing he could’ve been. Not to mention he had been sitting at the docks for so long staring out into the water he knew his hair had been tossed wildly from the wind.

Not that you appeared anymore put together.

Instead, you grab his face with a free hand and kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you,” you whispered hoarsely.

He almost damn near blue screens. The words ‘anything for you’ fight to come forth out of his throat.

Instead, he lets out a garbled noise before he clears his throat. “Of course. Couldn’t let the little princess run too far.” He teased your daughter with a tap to her nose.

She grabs his finger and presses the pads of her own across the metal rivets and joints like she’s studying them curiously.

Your daughter stared up at you with giant puppy eyes, still holding his hand. “Can we keep him?”

It was your turn to make a weird noise, spluttering with your face heating up. “You can’t keep people.”

All the while, Boothill was staring at you as you chastised her with hot cheeks.

No spouse by the looks of it—nor had the little princess mentioned somebody else. He knew kids liked to ramble on about their parents.

Well, his daughter did. Something cold and metallic turned in his stomach. She used to think her dad was a hero.

He wondered if she still would.

No ring on your finger. Adoration was such a gentle expression on your face, and the way you held her so firmly, yet so delicately, said it all.

Oh, if he wasn’t completely head over heels from the very beginning.

the angst potential. The angst potential. Theeee angst potential. i’m gritting my teeth.

i’m going insan e

#$. love mail #$. anon #$. drabbles #boothill x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #boothill hsr

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enwoso · 4 days

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WELCOME TO THE WORLD — alessia russo

-> three moments during pregnancy, and one which means the most.

one

you and alessia had been best friends since the two of you met all the way back on the first day of primary school when you were both were just four years old. alessia was older by two months and was something she loved to use to her advantage.

"y/n i'm older so i know what's best!"

"less! you use that same excuse every time!"

the two of you being polar opposites in school, alessia being the more confident one, who loved football with her entire heart while you were definitely the more introverted one who swore you were allergic to any form of athletic activity. you instead loved having a book in your hands, escaping to another world within the story from the book.

but that's what made you too the bestest of friends and that was something neither of you would change, ever.

you had gone through school together, knowing every aspect of alessia's life and in turn she knew every aspect of your life. and the older you got the more your family's began to become more and more closer.

like when you two were little, you would sit and pick the daisies from the grass on the field making a daisy chain to give to alessia while she would run around the field with a ball at her feet a big toothy grin on her face as she did so.

as alessia got older she made sure you were at every one of her football matches and you proudly did, alessia always making sure to make the point that she played a lot better when you were standing there watching her, even if you didn't have clue what was happening.

you had to there, you were her lucky charm.

so to your families it wasn't the least bit surprising when you both began to start dating when you were 17, however you held off telling them until just a few months before alessia moved to go to university in america.

there reactions being very far from what you both imagined it being a simple — “we knew all along" with a smile and a shrug of the shoulders leaving you and alessia more confused then what your parents were.

now the both of you were 24, having been together now for seven years. alessia had came back to england having made her break through into the lionesses senior squad and was now playing for arsenal after just having the summer of her life, even if england were unable to win the world cup, you know that just making a final was a huge achievement alone.

you on the other hand had graduated from university having gotten your dream job and you couldn't be anymore prouder of your girlfriend — life with her by your side was amazing and was just about to get a whole lot better.

you were finally pregnant.

after a few failed rounds of ivf, you and less decided this would be your last try before you stopped trying for a while in order to give your body a rest however you were now stood in your bathroom shaky hands holding a positive test a huge grin taking over your face.

you had been feeling horrible for the past few days, thinking you had just gotten a tummy ache but now it all made sense there was going to be a little human growing inside of you.

alessia being at the arsenal training ground as it was the beginning of the wsl season in just a few days time, this gave you a few hours to set up a little something in a way to surprise her.

alessia was due to be home in the next ten minutes so buzzing with excitement you found a sticky note and wrote 'hello mama!' on the note and placed it next to the pregnancy test

stepping back and looking down at your stomach and admiring it, it beginning to settle in that you were about to have a baby with the girl of your dreams. thoughts of alessia with a baby over run your mind but you were soon took out of that track of through by the sound of the front door shutting.

"baby i'm home!" she called out hearing her drop her keys on the side table and her bag hitting the floor as you came over to the door a giggle slipping from you as you watched her tussle with her trainers to try and get them off.

"hi love" you smiled as she engulfed you in a hug, "how was training?" you asked as the blonde moved her head into your neck, inhaling your perfume. "good but i missed you" she mumbled into your neck as you kissed her forehead.

you hummed, "i've missed you too but i've actually got something to show you" alessia's head rising from your neck, confusion knitting over her face. "show me?" she repeated hesitantly.

you nodded, "close your eyes" alessia looking at you apprehensively, "should i be scared?" the blonde asked, a nervous smile on her face. "no! no i actually think you'll really like it — just close your eyes and trust me!" you said as the blonde finally shut her eyes, you grabbing her hands and leading her to the kitchen.

"okay.. open them!" you say standing to the side as the room is filled with silence, you waiting for alessia who is looking at the little display as you waited for her to piece everything together.

"no way- really!" alessia gasped turning to you a wide smile not so dissimilar to the one you had on your face a few hours ago. you nodded as a squeal came from the blonde as she wrapped her arms around you, twirling you around attacking you with kisses.

placing you back on the ground, her hands staying on your waist as they travelled to your stomach. making sure she's gentle both hands rest on your stomach where your little human will live for the next nine months.

"this is the best thing that has ever happened to me!" alessia mumbled before placing her lips on yours, a slow and loving kiss taking place as your hands came to cup on her cheeks as alessia's hands stayed put on your tummy.

"i love you!"

"i love you too lessi."

two

it was a rainy sunday afternoon and alessia had just gotten home from playing at meadow park, a solid win and even bagging a goal, it was all a good feeling but nothing beat being tucked up next to you as you watched tv.

you lying with alessia on the couch, her head resting on your shoulder as your legs draped over the blondes, tangling themselves within hers as she played with the rings on your fingers.

“where you going?” the blonde asked a pout on her face as you made a sudden movement to get up, looking back at the blonde with a smile, “just to get a drink?”

before you had a chance to even move any further off the couch, alessia had sprung to her feet. “i’ll get it” the blonde sweetly said, pecking your lips quickly before rushing into the kitchen, not before stopping and yelling asking what it was you actually wanted.

“just a water love!” you yelled back, hearing her open the fridge as you smiled to yourself. ever since you found out you were pregnant alessia had been amazing.

helping you whenever your morning sickness struck, giving you your weird cravings whenever you wanted, being patient with you whenever you weren’t in the best of mood because you were tired or just weren’t have the best of days, you could already tell that she was going to be an amazing mother and the little human inside you was only about the size of a peach.

"oh my god!" you gasped as alessia almost ran back in the living room.

"what's wrong?" she frantically asked confusion hitting her as she wondered why there was a big cheesy grin on your face.

"little one just kicked!" you said watching intensely at you bump to see if it would happen again. "is it not a little early for kicking?" alessia asked as you shook your head. you were just hitting the fourth and a half month mark.

you midwife had told you to keep an eye out for any movement as it would begin to happen but it would all depend on the little one growing inside as some baby's were very active inside the womb whilst other weren't.

"no, she said it would be around about now" you explained as alessia nodded, you hands going over your bump trying to feel for any movement.

"pass your hands" you told alessia as she placed your water bottle down on the coffee table at the side of the couch before handing you her hands.

you moved you top up a little more to reveal your bump which was huge but was definitely getting bigger by the day. moving your girlfriends hands around you bump hoping for her to feel your little one's movement.

"can you feel there little kicks!" you looked towards alessia, a little “wow” escaping her as she felt the little kicks as she sat in awe.

"powerful little kicks" you whispered still loud enough for the blonde to hear you as she hummed in argreement her hands still holding your bump.

"gonna be a footballer just like there mama" alessia said smugly as you shook your head in amusement. looking at the blonde, leaning forwards to plant a kiss to her cheek, as she moved the kiss landing on her lips.

three

you were back at wembley for the first time since you had found out you were pregnant, the england girls were set to face the netherlands in the uefa nations league match in hopes of securing qualification for the the olympics next year.

you were nearing six months into your pregnancy, your body was changing massively and you had your 21 week scan telling you the gender of your baby a few weeks ago and with each ultrasound you were falling more and more in love with your little one and you couldn't wait to meet them.

watching as alessia would sit in the room with you, eyes in awh of the tiny human growing in your belly. listening intensively as the heartbeat would fill the small room in the hospital.

however as the weeks were passing, alessia was growing more and more protective of you. not allowing you to pick up anything heavier than an empty bottle or allowing you to stand in your feet for too long meaning she had been taking on the roll of cooking for the past few weeks but secretly you didn't mind that as you loved her cooking.

you were meeting with alessia's mum, dad and brothers at the match, alessia having left earlier this morning to do her usual pre match routine however every half an hour there was another message asking if you were okay - the blonde had been a little wary about you coming to the match but you had assured her that you would be perfectly fine.

walking in the entrance to wembley it was quiet for now fans still not allowed to enter for another thirty minutes. seeing alessia's family in the reception area all with england jerseys on, russo and the number 23 plastered on the back. yourself with the blue england away shirt on with your girlfriends name proudly on your back.

"hi honey, how are you, and the little one?" carol asked, engulfing you in a hug, she had been amazing to you since you had found out along with your own mum - the both of them giving you plenty of advice and tips on how to deal with pregnancy symptoms.

"i'm feeling good today, happy to be out the house!" you beamed it being to longest you had been out without the urgency of needing to go home.

"and little one is very happy and healthy in there" you smiled, "this is from the scan a few weeks ago- look!" you said getting the latest scan photos up on your phone.

"going to be such a beautiful baby" carol pouted, nudging her husband and alessia's two brothers to come and look at the scan photos.

"can't wait for me to pass on all my football secrets!" gio said as you shook your head at the younger russo's childishness. "i think less will beat you to that" you chuckled as giorgio shook his head rolling his eyes at your comment.

"and who do you think she learned them off, hmm?" gio said with a smug grin as it was your turn to roll your eyes, "your dad?" you teased as he scoffed beginning to walk away in a pretend huff.

"giorgio!"

you had all made your way to the family box, gio coming out of his little huff but not before alessia had made it her mission to find you before she began her warm ups.

"are you sure your okay? you haven't got any p-" alessia began before you cut her off. "lessi, i promise you i'm fine plus your mum and dad are here so i'm not alone okay" you said placing your hands on her shoulders squeezing them a few times as the blonde nodded a few times letting out a big sigh her body relaxing a little.

"now you go out there and play the game that you love!" you smiled as she sighed loosening herself up before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

"i love you" she whispered as you lips lingered and you hummed repeating the three word back to the blonde before pushing her in the direction of the rest of her teammates.

"come on less, she's not made of glass, she's isn't gonna break in the next ninety minutes!" hearing a thick manchester accent of non other than ella. turning your head to wave at the girl before turning to your girlfriend who had a light scowl on her face in the direction of her bestfriend.

"go on!" you nodded your head in the direction of her other teammates, as the blonde began to walk away not before kissing your goodbye on the cheek. watching as she walked off towards her friends not missing the fact she tripped on the carpeted floor, shaking your head in amusement.

"typical"

it had been a tight game between the dutch, the current score being 2-2, lauren just equalising for england. it was all to play for and england desperately needed the three points in order to put them in a good place for qualification.

alessia had been substituted in the 68' minute having been brought offf from fran kirby.

england managed to pull the win with ella scoring in stoppage time meaning england secured the three points putting them in with a chance of qualifying for the next round of the nations league.

the girls walking around, stopping and signing shirts, books, you name it while also taking photos with the fans. walking around wembley waving and thanking the fans who took the time to come and watch them play.

alessia finally gets to where the box is, looking up trying to find you and soon enough she does giving you a wave as you blow her a kiss back. as she caught it holding it close to her chest.

you were now waiting in reception for your blonde lover to emerge from the changing room, a few of the england girls coming out, waiting in the reception area to board the bus.

mary, beth and lucy being the first of girls to come out all showered, wet hair in low buns and wash bags hid under their arms with big grins all over there faces, there being a hint of surprise in their faces when they find a sight of you.

"hey y/n! how's you and the little one?" beth asked as you sat scrolling through your phone. a smile appearing on your face, sliding you phone into your pocket.

"yeah i'm good, tired and little one kicking my ribs like no tomorrow!" you sighed leaning back in the chair that you were sat on, as the three girls joined you.

"less been teaching them football tricks already?" lucy joked as you all began to laugh before getting into the conversation of how long the blonde was going to take to get ready - knowing she loved her skin and hair routines too much as you found yourself spending a lot of your time waiting for her to get ready on a mornings.

"do you know the gender yet?" mary asks as the topic changed again, "i think it'll be a girl!" the manchester girl appeared beside you as you rolled your eyes nudging her slightly as she sat down next to you.

"and then you can call it ella!" she cheekily smiled as you shook your head along with a few weird looks from the other girls.

“you can take that up with less, yeah!” you say softly, patting ella on the back as you give her a look that tells the midfielder that the answer is a definite no.

"what! just saying ella is a great name" she was the one to now roll her eyes as you chuckled shaking your head, "we did find out the gender-" you began smiling as the debate began of what you and alessia were having.

"so what's the gender then?" lucy asked the debate stopping as they had ran out of points to back up why one thought it was a girl and why one thought it was a boy.

"you'll find out in good time!" you smiled as the four began to all talk at once crowding you but luckily your saviour came to your rescue who was in the form of a tall blonde wearing a tracksuit and a massive wash bag hanging tiredly under her arm.

her blonde hair which was still wet, racked back into a low bun at the back of her head. her tired movements getting closer to you, "woah, don't crowd the pregnant lady!" she yelled walking closer to you, standing behind you as she shooed the girls away. resting her hands on your shoulders as you looked up at her with a smile, as she leaned down to place a quick kiss on your lips.

"well we wouldn't have to if she would just tell us if your having a girl or boy!" beth complained as the other three joined in with their complaints.

"we might as well tell them all together" alessia said as she began to gather the rest of the girls around in a huddle, you and less being in the center,

"what's this about russo?" georgia asked as a few others asked the same.

"well we had planned to tell you all in a different way but some are clearly too impatient. but we did find out the gender of our baby the other day and we are having a little... girl!" alessia explained leaving a few pauses just for dramatic effect as the rest of the girls cheered at the gender.

"told you mary! you owe me tenner now!"

four

you were now officially nine months pregnant and if you were being honest you were over it, you wanted nothing more than for the little one to be born for many reasons, one being so you could finally meet your little baby and two so you could get back to doing things without feeling tired after two minutes or needing to go and pee every ten minutes.

alessia with a lot of convincing had gone to training after ensuring that you were going to be okay for a few hours by your self expect you were not going to be by yourself as she had sent her mum to keep you company for the duration she was away.

not that you minded as it meant it kept your mind of the contractions you were having every few hours that had been progressively closer together since yesterday.

you knew it was going to be any time now, your hospital bag sat at the bottom of the stairs which alessia had made sure to pack and then unpack it to then repack it to make sure you had everything you and the new baby would need.

you were currently stood at the kitchen counter folding some clothes of your own while carol insisted on making you lunch, "lessi said that the.. oh" you stopped feeling another contraction wave over you this being a much more intense one that the previous ones you had been having in the past few hours.

"honey, are you okay? do you want me to call alessia?" carol asked as you hummed, leaning over on the kitchen counter trying to steady your breathing.

"okay, just keep breathing, in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth” carol soothed as she picked up her phone from the kitchen counter and pressing on the blondes contact who answered before the call even have a chance to get to the third ring.

"mum? what's wrong? is y/n-" alessia blurted out in a panic before the older women even had a chance to say hello.

"alessia! y/n is fine, but her contractions are getting slowly worse and she's going to want you here to comfort her" carol explained as a sigh of relief was heard from the other line.

"tell her i'm leaving now i'll be twenty minutes max!" alessia said in a hurry as it could be heard of her rushing around, many sounds of doors opening and closing.

"alessia, please don't panic. she's okay and if anything changes i'll call you as soon as i can" carol calmly said as the blonde on the other line hummed along rustling still heard.

"okay mum, i won't be long!" alessia quickly said before saying bye and ending the call. carol puts her phone down, you still in the same position controlling your breathing.

"she's on her way. do you have a yoga ball?" carol asked as you gave her a look wondering why on earth she would need one of them right now - pain fogging your brain for a moment.

"it's for you to bounce on, it'll help you stay upright and active" carol explained further as a knowing look came across your face - it slowly coming back to you remembering the midwife telling you about a range of exercises to do on it but admittedly you were a lot more focused on the sound of your baby's heart beat than the midwife's words.

"oh.. um i think there's one in spare room upstairs, less put it in there somewhere" you paused every few words your voice shaky as with each contraction you tried to steady your breathing - in through your nose and breathe out you were repeating to yourself.

carol telling you she would go and get it for you but not before asking you a few times if you would be okay left alone for a few minutes, you nodding and the older omens coming back a few minutes later with a bright green yoga ball.

helping you into the living room, as you lent forwards thinking it would help with the pain but really it did nothing. carol placed the bright green ball in the middle of the room and helping you find a rhythm to follow as you bounced up and down on the green ball.

it admittedly helping to reduce the intensity of the pain from the contractions as you were able to fall back into conversation with the older women but just as you did your blonde lover burst through the door with a sudden urgency.

"y/n, oh thank goodness your okay!" the blonde said out of breathe as she held her hand on her chest, as she stood in the doorway of the living room. a small laugh leaving your lips as you shared a look with her mum.

"have you ran back from coloney or something? why are you so out of breathe?" you asked a small chuckle coming from her mum but nothing from alessia as she wasn't impressed with your joke.

"sorry for being concerned for my pregnant girlfriend, but i did run to tell jonas where i was going before running to my car!" the blonde rolled her eyes before going into the kitchen to get a drink.

"sometimes you would think it was her with the pregnancy hormones" you joked to carol who laughed slightly along with you.

"i can hear you, you know!" alessia yelled from the kitchen as you laughed a little more with the older women.

an hour had passed and gradually your contractions were getting worse, carol had gone back home and told alessia to call her when you were in labour and she would be straight there with you both.

you were getting yourself a bottle of water from the fridge when you felt a popping sensation, a groan coming from you as you lent on the counter as another contraction came along.

"baby?" alessia called out from the living room, "love are you okay?" she asked again after not getting an answer, you hummed letting the last of your contraction hit.

shaking your head as another hit soon after, "n-no- i think my waters just broke" you whispered feeling slightly embarrassed as the feeling of warm liquid rushed down your legs

"breathe, love. let's get you changed and then we'll head to the hospital" alessia said softly taking your hand and leading you to get a change of clothes.

within half an hour you were changed, hospital bag in hand and being lead down the corridor to the maternity ward by a nurse.

"your midwife will be here in a few minutes to do some checks" the nurse smiled as she lead you both to a private room. you nodded your head your contractions were still very much present and very often. "thank you" alessia spoke for you as she helped you over to the bed.

like the nurse said the midwife came through the door, a few trolleys of medical equipment following her through the door as she began doing your checks and telling you how far you were dilated - 5cm.

“we can give you your epidural now, and then in about an hour or so you’ll probably be ready to start pushing” the midwife explained as both you and alessia nodded along.

“i’ll have the epidural” you said immediately after the midwife had stopped talking, the women nodding and letting you know she would be back in a couple of seconds

"i can't believe that we are going to meet our little girl soon!" alessia whispered kissing the top of you head as you got comfy in hospital bed, a smile creeping on your face it not lasting long as another contraction hit you as your face scrunched up with the sudden pain.

"that's it y/n, one more push and the head will be out" the midwife encouraged as you face was pooled with sweat and tears, alessia holding your hand as you squeezed the living day lights out of it.

"you doing so good love!" alessia encouraged, kissing your head as you groaned again, the midwife urging you to push again.

a few more pushes and baby's head had officially been delivered, only a few more were needed to get the rest of the baby out.

"keep pushing, baby's nearly here!" the midwife told you as you hear alessia urging you on with words of encouragement stroking your hair out of your face and within seconds of your last push, you hear a baby cry.

your swear your heart stopped for a second, looking up to alessia who was grinning from ear to ear. "you did it!" she whispered into the side of your face as tears fell down your face and your baby was passed to you on your chest.

"congratulations, you've given birth to a beautiful baby girl!" the midwife smiled as you handed you your baby, as you pushed the towel from covering your little girls face. her little cries stopping as soon as she heard yours and alessia's voices.

"she beautiful" alessia said, stroking the side of her small face, you silently nodding as you both sat admiring your little girl. excitement coursing through you as after a long, tiring nine months your little girl was here.

"welcome to the real world, little one"

liked by giorgiorusso_ and 1,042,106 others

alessia 23/05/24 ☁️

when two became three. me and mummy love you so much our little love🤍

comments -

leahwilliamson my heart🥹 congratulations i can’t wait to meet the little one🤍

31m 129 likes reply

giorgiorusso_ next in line for me to pass on my football knowledge to!

1h 230 likes reply

-> alessia in your dreams gio.

yourusername omg your milf era is beginning!

1h 360 likes reply

-> alessia your my favourite milf<3 forever proud of you

ellatoone oh gosh they grow up so fast🥹

1h 207 likes reply

-> yourusername your literally younger than us tooney?

#alessia russo x reader #alessia russo #alessia russo x y/n #woso #woso blurbs #woso community #woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal women #awfc #arsenal wfc #awfc imagine #awfc x reader #lionesses #england wnt #england women #enwoso

418 notes · View notes

gremlingottoosilly · 5 months

Note

imagining a scenario where Mrs. König packs her husband’s lunch so he can take it to work (or like, he can take it with him on the day he’s deployed, if that makes sense)

and like, she spoils him for lunch. literally

cuts the crusts off his sandwiches

peels his orange

little fancy shapes for his fruit??? you bet

those gummy snacks and cookies??? absolutely

and can’t forget, a lovely note (maybe even a very explicit photo >wink wink<)

and keep it up, now König expects his lunch made by Mrs. König!!!!

which is her evil plan all along because i bet one day when she’s incredibly angry when she makes his lunch…

and he opens to find:

sandwich crusts ON.

n o c o o k i e

orange is orange. unpeeled

no notes of love

fruit is fruit shaped. not dino shaped :(

now König can spend three months of deployment thinking about his actions.

I recently got addicted to those lunch box videos on TikTok, anon, I AM INVESTED!! Just being Konig's housewife, having the prettiest apron with some cute frills all around, with laces and little ribbons everywhere - it's not really practical, but you have a huge collection of those and you can afford to make them a bit messy, and dirty. You don't have a lot of things to do at home, watching TV and sitting on your laptop gets boring after the first few weeks, especially when Konig has desk duty and leaves the house for the whole day instead of spending time with you or getting on facetime while on his mission. You're cooking for him, take out so so many lunchbox ideas!! Spend too much money on various lunchboxes, on different designs, and all of those cute things you can use to cut bread and fruits, to make some elaborate shapes and slowly engage your husband to eat cute stuff instead of just sliding his card to get some slop on the base( Everyone is so so so jealous of him, he is getting rice balls with nice seasonings and little seaweed cutouts that make it look like pandas, he is having all of those cute shapes for his apples and carrots!! That giant three-story boxed with ice and metal sections...and then it all suddenly stops.

He is not just getting a dry and cold sandwich - they are literally just covered in their shop packaging, you don't even bother to cook for him anymore. sometimes you miss the days entirely, leaving him to return to the base kitchen and find out that he is unable to eat here anymore because he just knows he messed up and you're mad at him( this is the only way you can get to him - Konig isn't a cruel husband, even though he keeps you locked in the house, but he is a pretty dense one, ignoring your wishes and often making you beg for even the slightest of privileges, like getting out of the house to do your garden, or go to some nice cafes and actually see people. He will apologize profusely, knowing how much he hurt you( his heart still in the wrong place, he don't understand why would you want to join some dumb book club when you can spend time at home, but he is forced to allow you to go out, just so he could see his pretty housewife smiling again, caring for him like a proper girl should

#cod #konig x reader #konig #yandere konig

880 notes · View notes

abbysdolly · 5 months

Text

୨ ℛ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℐ𝑢𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑡 ୧

˗ˏˋ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : Abigail, the best soldier in w.l.f has an encounter with a Seraphite girl, her enemy. She could attack, but she didn't, why? She didn't knew but soon after everything made sense, suddenly she was Romeo.

˗ˏˋ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mature content +18, MDNI, canon violence, mentions of blood, use of a knife as a weapon, reader is referred to "the girl", reader is a Scar, death of a canon character (not Abby), enemies to lovers kinda? Let me know if I should add another thing! ౨ৎ

˗ˏˋ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫´𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hiii! ♡ this is the longest fic I ever wrote hehe, hope you all like this little twist I made in the story! I wrote this after a big writers block so forgive me if it's not the best! Also it isn't proofread so there could be some errors because English is not my first language >.< If you like it please like, reblog and comment! xoxo ♡

"𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝛪 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝒉𝑒𝑛 𝛪 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝒉𝑒𝑟, 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝒉𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝒉𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒. 𝑊𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡𝒉 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑖𝑔𝒉𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦..."

⊹ ᳝ ࣪ ♡ ࣪ ᳝ ⊹

Her voice echoed like the sweet melody of an early bird, her eyes pleaded for help or simply just for mercy.

A now forgotten white cotton blouse viciously adorned with crimson droplets of who knows how many people, thankfully all that blood wasn't hers.

It was almost mystical how the blonde found her; soft-looking face full of dirt, hair in a beautiful mess and tears falling like cascades from her mysterious eyes, sitting in the grass with wildflowers surrounding her. Similar to the numerous injured deers she rescued with her father, a misty memory she treasured jealousy.

"Please, help me" the injured girl begged. Looking into the blonde's eyes in a desperate attempt of human empathy, innocently hoping to find some relief in another human.

The blonde inspected the injured girl, cold blue eyes searching for any sign of lies and also weapons but there was none of that, the girl's sweet voice sounded with undeniable need and her trembling hands holding her twisted ankle showed clearly that she hadn't any weapons near her.

"Are you a Scar? Why are you here if your people are miles away?" The blonde girl barked. Adrenaline still rushed through her veins, her years of training showed in the way her strong hands holded her rifle against her front, always ready to attack.

"Seraphite. And yes I am... Was, I ran away. I can't be with them anymore." The injured girl shivered as she explained to the blonde. Tears washing the dirt off of her cheeks and neck, making the blonde stare for a little too long.

"I'm not bit or armed, I just need help with my ankle. I ran almost all day and I accidentally twisted it a few hours ago. I can't stand on foot and I need to go somewhere safer" the injured girl spoke again. Her eyes drifted to the blonde's arms, to her rifle and to her piercing eyes. She wondered if her prayers were answered, and if they did she was certainly seeing her savior angel in front of her, with long golden hair and deep blue eyes like the sky at night, full of mystery.

The blonde stared and stared, her exterior looked angry and tough but in her mind she was having a whole battle. The thought of helping that girl was fighting with her "duty" that was imposed by a man who wanted just to massacre and murder people for a territory that in reality wasn't of someone in the first place.

"Please, soldier" the injured girl begged again. The blonde girl blinked as soon as she heard that soft voice again, her thoughts temporarily subsided by those teary eyes staring at her.

The blonde didn't respond, instead she just put her rifle on her shoulder and kneeled gently next to the injured girl. This was so new to her, she was the best and most deadly soldier in the QZ, she never showed mercy before. Why did she suddenly have the need to help someone? Especially one of the people she considerate the lowest of all. The blonde didn't knew but a small part of her felt powerful for doing that, she felt capable of doing more than chaos and death.

The blonde girl took a few bandages of her washed out green backpack and began to roll the thin white material around the ankle of the injured girl. She did it as gently as possible, it was almost sweet due to her big and tough appearance.

"What's your name?" The injured girl asked in a gentle whisper. She watched how carefully the blonde was and also how the blonde's features were hardened but strangely sweet and angelic, a beautiful mixture of deadly beauty and danger.

The blonde stopped her actions, surprised by the sudden curiosity of the mysterious girl. She turned her attention now to those beautiful doe eyes that magically weren't pooled with tears anymore.

"Abby" the blonde whispered back, soft and warm voice filled the cold air. She watched intently how her eyes told her many things.

"Thank you, Abby" A gentle smile appeared on the other girl's slightly chapped lips. The blonde's face mimiqued the action with a slight blush on her nose and cheeks, accentuating her freckles. Abby felt so lost, she felt that she hadn't control of her body. Those strange feelings were more than new to the blonde, she felt so different like she wasn't her anymore.

The moment went as fast as it came, in the form of hurried whistles and crushing leaves. The remaint group of Scars in that place were persistent, and they searched for the girl who was a traitor, an apostate.

"Fuck, we need to get out of this place, we're too exposed" Abby whispered hurriedly, taking her backpack and weapons with rush. She looked down at the girl on the floor, poorly trying to stand up but it was no case. Her muscles were too sore to even try to stand up.

"We can go there, that way there are some hidden cabins that the elder used as ceremony places, they're abandoned we can hide there" the mysterious girl explained. Abby wanted to think this was a lie, that it could be some sort of ambush but the other part of her brain said that she needed to believe her again.

Without a warning, the blonde lifted the girl from the ground so easily. The mysterious girl gasped at the sudden action but didn't complain, she just limited herself to cross her arms behind the blonde's broad shoulders. The air filled with tension and a certain awkwardness from both parts. Surely Abby had helped some other soldiers in patrols, even helped them to get rid of their clothes to treat their wounds but this time she didn't feel the same, she suddenly was hyper aware of her moves and how skin collided with skin.

୨ 🔨 ୧

After what it felt like an eternity, Abby and the other girl were now inside one of those ceremony cabins. Thanks to Abby the windows and door were barricaded with different wooden furniture. The abandonment evident in the rotten flowers near some sort of paint of a woman with a divine halo; The Prophet.

"They haven't come here since I can remember, it's too far from our campsite so they won't find us here" the mysterious girl explained. Her figure resting on a chair near a table as Abby stood in front of her, backpack and guns still on as she crossed her muscled arms.

Abby wasn't really proud of this situation, she always accomplished her missions, she did what she was told and not more. She got used to it after almost seven years of doing the same routine. At least that kept all those negative thoughts and anxiety on border.

The blonde's eyes didn't leaved the girl at any moment, her soldier brain told her to kill her, to get back at base and recover that sense of had "cleaned" everything, but the truth was that she felt curious about the girl, she wanted to know why she suddenly deserted. There was something about that girl that caught Abby's attention bladly.

"Why did you leave your people?" Abby asked. Her voice was husky enough to cause the other girl to squirm nervously in the chair.

"I was one of the many people taking care of the elders and children. I knew our people prepared soldiers but they only said it was just to defend our people from the Demons, until I found a letter saying we were in a war with some group of people and we needed to kill them all... even children and women, innocent people. So I ran away just in time when those people arrived to the Island" the mysterious girl explained. Her face and especially her eyes showed a deep sadness and a deeper disgust.

The explanation caught Abby out of guard, how could a Scar not know the actual state of the growing tension between Wolves and Scars? How could someone be so stupid to not know? Certainly this was a situation that Abby didn't knew how to deal with.

"I thought all your people wanted to kill everyone who weren't into your fucking religious stuff" Abby scoffed. Half smile and voice tone sarcastic as ever, the comment came almost without thinking and as the girl's eyes grew watery again she knew she fucked up, her and her sarcastic humor always finding the worst timing to appear.

"We aren't like that, at least not all of us. They just twisted her texts, If she were here all those conflicts would have disappeared" the Scar girl whispered. Her gaze relied on the worn out mural painted into the wooden wall. The image of that woman smiling so sweetly and showing both her hands made Abby want to puke, she was tired of that same image and those same stupid prayers everybody recited after their last breath.

The blonde remain in silence, opting to just sit on another chair near the window to search for any sign of Scars, Infected or Wolves. She couldn't get involved with a Scar, no, because surely Isaac would kill her before hearing a reasonable explanation.

୨ 🔨 ୧

The gloomy and freezing night came and with it, a sharp muscle pai too. Abby was beyond tired, she left the base a week ago and since then she had no real breaks, just occasional naps in abandoned buildings with her patrol group. Speaking of them, they surely were searching for her and wondering how the hell she went through "another path" in the woods.

Abby layed on the floor, unfolding a small sleeping bag out of her backpack, ready to have some sleep and hopefully forget about the pain in her back and legs.

The mysterious girl did the same, laying on the floor with nothing to keep her warm. She was squirming on the floor, trying to hug herself to feel her own body heat. Abby and the girl haven't spoken since that conversation they had a few hours ago but Abby couldn't help looking at the girl and feel pity.

"Here... Use it to keep you warm" Abby spoke as she handed her black jacket to the girl.

The girl took it with caution at first but then she just didn't care anymore, she was freezing and she needed it. She put on the jacket, this last one almost swallowing her whole frame but at least she was getting warmer.

A Scar wearing a Wolf jacket, really ironic.

"Thank you, Abby. I'll give it back to you in the morning" the girl answered as she got back down to her previous position, ready to sleep and hopefully find some peace in the events she had been through these past hours.

୨ 🔨 ୧

The night passed by as fast as a shooting star, the distant chirp of birds and warm bits of sunlight were a gentle call to wake up.

The Seraphite's eyes opened slowly, a soft groan escaped through her lips. The aftermath of all that happened yesterday in the presence of sore muscles and low energy.

She sat up, the blonde's jacket hugging her body and dipping her in a spiral of scents; Pine, dirt and a slight touch of gunpowder. Speaking of the owner, she wasn't there, no sight of her belongings, no sight of her, just that forgotten item and the bandages resting on the girl's ankle.

Anxiety built deep inside the girl's chest, she was facing the consequences of her previous acts, she was alone. A part of her mind scolded herself for thinking that Wolf would've stayed with her, for thinking with so much innocence.

Her ankle was a lot better than the day before but she wasn't sure of what to do, she survived and that was beyond her expectations. Her hands shook as they clinged to the jacket, she watched out the window but there was nothing to see, she was gone.

୨ 🔨 ୧

Those eyes, those beautiful eyes. So deep almost she could see her reflection in them, so crystal clear. Two little windows to the shiny galaxies, reflecting in a deep beauty even the most lethal human being, Abigail.

And oh her voice as sweet as a juicy peach in summer season, sweeter than the purest maple syrup in the whole world, calming like the morning breeze. Maybe all of that caused Abby to feel guilt of leaving the girl there, or maybe all of that caused something deeper and complex inside her that Abby wasn't able to understand.

"What the fuck am I doing? Shit, Abby" the blonde muttered to herself as she walked to the cabin. The outside looked the same after four days, Abby knew the girl could not be there but she tried to console herself repeating that 'there was a chance'.

"Please be there, Please be there" again, the blonde muttered. She gently knocked the door, there was a tense silence and then the door opened slowly. It was her, the girl, she had a wooden stick in her hands, something to defend herself.

"Abby?" the girl whispered. She lowered the stick and kept looking at the blonde, her wide eyes full of hope. A new found spark in them.

"Hi" the blonde smiled sincerely and continued "Are you alright? I thought you wouldn't be here, staying here is too risky" Abby's voice was shaky, she felt like a sick dog wanting to jump to the girl's bones and drag her out of that rotten cabin.

"I was going to but I was too scared to leave the cabin by myself" the girl explained as she opened the door fully. "Why are you here, Abby?" she continued, resting the stick on the table. And there was Abby's jacket, doing the same thing it did four days ago, keeping the girl warm.

"I'm giving you a chance. You'll go with me" Abby answered. Her voice was firm, she wasn't asking, she was commanding.

"What? Where? Abby, if your people see me they're gonna kill me with no hesitation!" The girl's voice was filled with desperation and fear. A Scar in a Wolf territory? Unthinkable!

"I know, I know but listen to me. I know a place, you could be safe there. I just– I can't let you here all by yourself" Abby spoke. Her jaw clenched tight, searching for the best way to say it, looking into the other girl's eyes wanting to communicate just by it.

"Why?" the girl answered. Abby blinked as soon as she heard it. Why? Why was she doing all of this?

Abby couldn't speak or think straight, her eyes searched for an answer in the worn out image of The Prophet, in the rotten flowers, in her jacket resting in the table, in the eyes of that girl.

"Because– I don't know, to lighten the load I guess. I want to do something right for the first time in ages" the blonde confessed. Her mind was still in a constant dilemma but she was sure at least that she wanted to do something different, to take a different path just like she did when she found the girl.

The girl didn't respond but her eyes never left Abby's. The blonde could feel how her eyes could read her entirely, she swore those pretty eyes could disarm her in mere seconds. Oh those eyes.

୨ 🔨 ୧

"Stay behind me, be careful and watch for any sign of infected or people. You know how to fight?" The blonde whispered. Both of them were outside the cabin.

"Just the basics I think, but don't worry about me I'll help you if we cross with Demons" the girl whispered back. Her body was framed with Abby's jacket, shaky hands holding the wooden stick and doe eyes looking at Abby. She was clearly scared and Abby knew it.

୨ 🔨 ୧

The golden light was already gone, the sound of leaves crushing with every step grew louder as the night approached. The minimum noise made Abby hold her gun tighter and point to the place where the sound came from, she was more focused than she normally was, she felt fear for the first time in so long.

Everything was quiet, oddly quiet. It had passed at least two hours and according to Abby they were really close to 'that place' she kept talking about during the walk. Everything was quiet, oddly quiet, until it wasn't.

"We are just a few minutes away from it, We can– shit! Get down!" Abby whispered hurriedly. She and the girl used an abandoned car as cover, a group of Scars were patrolling near an area full of containers.

"Fuck, we have to pass through them, it's the only way" Abby spoke again. Her gun ready, taking glances at the group of Scars from time to time "Okay, this is what we're gonna do. We're going to sneak and kill those two guys on the left and there we can cover with those containers, as for the rest leave them to me, got it?" There was that commanding Abby again, and it was fascinating to the other girl.

The girl nodded, too focused on the whole change in the blonde's demeanor. Her voice deep and firm, her eyes darker and her features getting even more sharped if that was actually possible.

Abby sneaked behind some other cars getting nearer to that area, followed closely by the girl. The tension and fear were palpable, sweaty palms holding to dear life to a gun and to a wooden stick.

The blonde nodded to the girl and in a blink she got one of the men from behind, her bicep making pressure into the man's neck and in seconds he was gone, as if his neck was a mere toothpick, so easily.

The girl watched it all, she saw how Abby ended a life like a cold war machine. How Abby killed one of "her people" and she was going to do the same, she had to do the same.

Abby did all automatically, it was the same to her. Infected or not infected, she couldn't care less but the Seraphite girl wasn't like that.

"Use this to kill that guy, I'll kill the other ones. We got this" Abby whispered. Her big hand wrapped the girl's, giving her a knife she had found somewhere and as she did this her grip was tighter, encouraging the poor and terrified girl to kill.

Everything happened so fast, Abby was gone dealing with other Scars as the girl got closer to the man, her hands shook and tears threatened to come out. Then everything went downhill.

The girl tried to grab the man from behind just like Abby but it was obviously impossible to recreate what the blonde did. The girl sneaked her arms on the man's neck trying to stab him but the man threw her away as soon as he felt her, whistling hurriedly and walking to the girl, ready to attack her.

The sudden shock of what happened made the girl act by pure instinct, she crawled to reach the knife and when she did nothing was going to be the same. The man turned her around violently and as soon as he did the girl stabbed him in the neck.

She choked a moan of disgust and fear, blood dripping from her face as well as tears. The eyes of the man lost their shine, losing the life on them as well as his body. The girl froze instantly at the realization of what happened, of what she did, she swore she wouldn't be like those who called her family before, she swore she was going to be better than them and there she was, she took a life.

As soon as Abby noticed and heard the whistles she ran, searching for the girl. She found her there on the floor with a dead Scar on top of her.

"Hey, hey– Are you okay? Fuck" the blonde breathed as she throw the dead body to the side and helped the girl to be on her feet again.

Panic, fear and disgust filled the girl's eyes, she kept crying as Abby spoke again "Hey, look at me, look at me. We need to move now, we're close" Abby's hands tried to wipe the blood out of the girl's face, guilt covering her heart once again. She knew that wasn't easy at first.

୨ 🔨 ୧

"What are you thinking? You seem a bit off since this morning" the blonde asked. The book she was reading was now closed on the table.

"Oh sorry, I just– I was thinking of when we met and all the crazy things that happened after" the girl answered. A small smile appeared on her plush lips.

The time passed faster than the girls intended. After arriving at the aquarium the bond between Abby and the Scar girl grew and grew.

Abby explained to her how that place was discovered a long time ago from one of her good friends named Owen, who soon after she awkwardly confessed that he was her romantic interest when she was younger, but after his mysterious death she had claimed the aquarium as her personal place to recover when everything was too much. The blonde also showed some pictures of her other friends, from the W.L.F too. Abby and her soon found calm in each other, a friendship blossomed from all the disgrace, death and sadness.

But nothing was that easy. The Wolves were searching for Abby as soon as the rumors ran across the FOB halls, everyone talked about how Abby betrayed them just for a Scar. Abby had to constantly go out the aquarium and kill whatever thing threatened to disturb both her and the girl, it didnn't matter if they were infected or people from both groups, Scars and Wolves. It was a miracle that the only few people that knew about the aquarium wouldn't say anything because Abby was their friend.

“Yeah,” the blonde chuckled. “Everything happened so fast. When was that? Like five months ago?” She looked at the girl and smiled. That was something she did more, smile.

“Yeah, but in those few months I've learned more than all my years in this world” the girl answered between giggles. And she was true, Abby had taught her a few self-defense things, she taught her how to use a gun and how to fight if she needed to and the girl was beyond thankful for everything.

“Well, you've learned from the best fucking soldier in Seattle” the blonde answered back. A cocky smile appeared on her face as she crossed her arms and groaned when her back touched the old couch.

“Whatever you say, Anderson!” The girl rolled her eyes at the usual antics of the blonde. She walked close to Abby, sitting on the other side of the couch, “You're such a goober” the girl whispered, looking at the blonde with a deep admiration, and other things. A warm smile on her lips.

“Hey! That's my word!” Abby gasped fakely. Another gorgeous smile appeared on her lips. She turned to the side to see the girl properly, the side of her face resting on her strong bicep just as the girl did.

Both admired each other's features, silently bathing in each other's presence. Abby and the girl developed the habit of talking with their eyes, a short look and they already knew it all.

Abby knew that this “friendship” was more than that, she felt it. After a couple of weeks after being with the girl in the aquarium she knew that the feeling in her chest wasn't just a platonic feeling, it was beyond that. Especially at night when the awful memories came back in the form of chaotic nightmares, for both of them, but the warm embraces melted every nightmare and fear.

Abby caught herself thinking about the girl when she read a classic novel or sometimes she stared too much at the girl when she was brushing her hair or was cooking. Oh and it was even more evident when a blushed Abby directed the girl's body when they were training, it was all the time and she knew the girl felt the same way she did, her flushed cheeks and shy smiles when Abby praised her for doing something correctly, or when she wrapped her arms around the blonde's torso at night.

“Thank you, Abby” the girl whispered. Her hand reached Abby's, softly running circles on her palm and there was again that soft blush on the girl's cheeks, the exact same way when Abby found her.

“Why are you thanking me?” the blonde answered. Her brows furrowed with confusion.

“For everything you gave me and you still do. And because you didn't kill me that day” the voice of the girl broke like thin glass. Abby felt a lump in her throat, glossy eyes and mouth agape at the girl’s words.

“I– You don't need to thank me. I do this because I l– because I care for you!” The blonde stuttered with her own words. Her heart beated wildly inside her strong chest, she wanted to say more but she simply couldn't.

Abby wanted to scream all her feelings, to name whatever she was feeling. But for a reason it was so hard, even when she had that teenage romance with Owen she didn't feel like this, not even a little.

Sometimes at night Abby had to wake up and go to her little bookshelf to read something to distract her mind, she even roamed the aquarium wanting to do dumb things and distract herself from the pretty image of the girl sleeping so peacefully next to her. “Damn it Abby, why did you bring the brilliant idea of asking her to sleep on the same bed?” The blonde thought, every night.

“I know, Abigail,” the girl whispered back. The hand that was touching Abby's was now gently stroking Abby's cheek. Her soft skin kissing the blonde's face, her fleckles deep and a mauve color adorning her nose and cheeks. The way the girl said “Abigail” felt so intimate, just her father called her like that and that was at least ten years ago.

The girl didn't allow Abby to react or respond, she got off the couch and smiled. The girl walked to the little room they designated to cook.

୨ 🔨 ୧

Dinner went normal, and for normal we could say just Abby being a little awkward as the girl talked about different recipe books she had found.

“Can I show you something? I know you like when I read out loud and uhm– I remembered that I wanted to read you something” the blonde spoke. She and the girl were cleaning the dinner dishes.

“Oh I would love that, Abby. Please show me” the girl answered. Her voice filled with curiosity as her eyes lit up. Abby loved seeing her like that.

“Okay, leave this for tomorrow yeah? This is important” Abby's voice showed her nervousness and all the emotions she tried to swallow deep deep down. She took the hand of the girl and dragged her to the room they had to sleep, the girl laughed softly and almost ran in contrast to the long and fast steps Abby gave.

“Abby, you're going to make me fall!” the girl said between giggles “what's something so important that you are practically making me run?” the girl spoke again. A foolish smile appeared on her face.

“Just sit here and listen to it, please. It's important to me” the blonde answered back. Her voice and stern face made the girl's smile drop in a look of concern.

Abby's hands pushed the girl's shoulders down to make her sit on the neat bed, then she took a small storage box where she kept her favorite books, classics novels that belonged to her father and she could keep them thanks to Mel, one of her friends.

“I've read this book a couple of times. I always thought it was too dramatic or corny compared to how I saw life years ago. But now it makes sense, and it feels so amazingly strange, you know?” the blonde explained. A copy of Romeo & Juliet was in between her hands as she sat on a chair in front of the girl.

The girl didn't understood too much at the beginning, surely Abby was acting a little bit strange and that made her heart beat wildly inside her chest.

And as for Abby, she was so nervous and tried to stay focused on what her heart, mind and body wanted to say.

“So the other day reading it again I felt something warm on my chest, I felt like something clicked in my head. And I needed to tell you before it's too late, listen carefully please” the blonde finally looked at the girl. The dim light of the room made the situation more intimate, as if it was just them in the whole world.

“I will, Abby,” the girl answered. Her voice as sweet as ever.

The blonde smiled with shyness but opened the book in the page she had put a paper on to remember it. And then she proceeded to read out loud, soft and velvety voice adorned the background with a sweet melody of words.

“But soft, what light through the yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the Sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that you, her maid, are far more fair than she. Be not her maid since she is envious. Her vestal livery is but sick and green, and none but fools do wear it. Cast it off” the blonde read it with emotion filling her chest, her voice was sweet as her gloomy blue eyes danced across the letters, her grip tight and her cheeks warm and pink.

The girl listened to Abby, focused and instantly warped around her as Abby's voice seemed to put the girl in a trance, Abby's words echoed on the girl's brain and heart.

“It is my lady. Oh it is my love. Oh, that she knew she were, she speaks, yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it” she paused. Looking up to the girl to see if she felt that feeling coming up from her stomach to her chest and to finally her throat. And she smiled again when she saw how the girl's eyes glowed like the pretty moonlight, like the chaotic fire. And Abby knew the girl felt the same as her.

“I am too bold. ‘Tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, there in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the air region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were day and not night. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand, oh that I were the glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek…” Abby read. Her cheeks got even more reddish and her gaze positioned on the girl's form, again. Nervousness eating her from the inside.

“Oh Abby,” the girl whispered. She got up from the bed and gave short little steps to be right in front of Abby, closer than before. The delicate hand of the girl took Abby's making her look up from her position in the chair, admiring the delicate and serenity in the girl's face, her dark eyes were capable of making the burning fire in the blonde's heart burn wildly.

The Seraphite girl smiled, oh that sweet smile that Abby adored a lot, and as she did so her arms instantly wrapped Abby in a tight embrace. The blonde's face rested in the girl's chest hearing the melody inside it, her fears no longer important, her feelings clearer, her heart raced with happiness and everything because of her. Her own Juliet.

“It makes sense now because I feel like Romeo, I understand him! I envy the sunlight that caresses your skin, I envy the moonlight who can make your eyes shine like stars, I–” the blonde paused her rambling. She stood up, taking in between her large hands the girl's face, and continued, “I love you” she whispered. Her face inches apart from the girl's, baby hairs framed her beautiful face as her nose gently caressed the girl's.

“I know, Abby. I always knew it because I feel just the same, you were my savior angel, and I will always be thankful for that. I love you, I love you, I love you” the girl confessed. Her own hands caressing Abby's face, bathing in the deep ocean in the blonde's eyes, her dump kissing little scars on the blonde's cheek, scars of long forgotten fights, of forgotten sadness.

Abby leaned to kiss the girl. The most precious and sweet of the kisses, lips exploring the other ones with such passion and love. A first kiss that told more than all the romantic novels in Abby's bookshelf, calm after the storm, igniting fire building on their bodies.

Thank you for reading! Any like, reblog or comment are really appreciated, have a good day/night and don´t forget to drink water! love ya! ♡

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4dbarbie-archive · 9 months

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4dbarbie interview: All about Desires

4dkelly notes: I had fun making this in an interview style Q&A between 4dbarbie and Vanessa. I thought "how would 4dbarbie answer anon questions if she were still here today?". Spoiler alert, it wouldn't be much different to the questions anons asked her lol. Most answers are just directly extracted from her posts/answered asks but some have been adapted a bit or rearranged to make it flow better. I have added some relevant posts for further reading. I may or may not make more of these. This was mainly just for fun (but then it really evolved into an educational piece lol). My highlight key: key concepts are in pink, action points in purple, really important points in red

Vanessa: I really like this guy and want to manifest him. 😢 How do I do that?

4dbarbie: IMAGINE KNOWING ALL THIS AND STRESSING OVER A GUY?!?!? Unbelievable. Who's holding you at gun point to type this out to me??? 😧😧😧 I refuse to believe this is what this material is getting wasted on. I refuse to believe this is the understanding you guys have after I explained who you are in so many ways. Imagine liking someone who didn't text you back right after to tell you how amazing you are as well 🤮 what do you like about this nobody? You want to give me a heart attack? I tell you there is no one out there but you and instead of being free and loving yourself you... you give a crumb of your precious attention to this? I tell you you are life and you try to make life better through dates?

Vanessa: Okay but what about my other desires? I want them...

4dbarbie: Everything about Vanessa is meaningless. She has a life and if it's boring, who cares? Forget it. What do you need these stories for? Do you not understand they have reality because you give it to them? YOU! They have no standing on their own! The whole world is just your mere thought. The body exists because you are aware of it being! Only you have this power. Only you are. Why are you dreaming like this? Gosh, you break my heart. If Vanessa is hurting you why do you keep on choosing her?

Vanessa: Then what should I do? I still have things I desire despite knowing I cannot desire because I am not a person, ego, mind...

4dbarbie: You know it intellectually, but have you acted on it at all? You know yourself as Vanessa by acting like Vanessa, know yourself as your Self by acting like yourself. Desires and fears dissipate then. You have desires still because you never stopped thinking you're Vanessa. Investigate who Vanessa actually is :) Spoiler alert: it's a thought! Think something else and see what happens.

Vanessa: How long will this take? When will I see a change?

4dbarbie: Now. Who is doing the change in attitude, what are you waiting for to happen for you to change your attitude? It's instant. You see it, you realize you have no reason to worry/doubt/desire/fear anymore, let things happen as they happen while you're undisturbed and they dissolve.

Vanessa: Should I just keep assuming that I don't desire things anymore because I already have it while I'm denying and dismissing my senses? It feels like I'm just waiting and being delusional though

4dbarbie: Your world is right and perfect, what you see is what you are so even if you're seeing what 'you' don't want, the world is not wrong in being what it is. Fearing it, trying to manipulate it, lying to yourself about it being something different - all useless and vain attempts.

Not seeing the world as it is, is an aversion to it. - Lester Levenson

See it as it is and it will fix itself.

And no, being delusional is not good, it leads you not to trust your own judgment or senses. Which is not right, why shouldn't you? What is wrong with your vision? Being delusional from your ego self is really harmful, someone could be abusing you and you would go "i'm sure that's not right he loves me so much in my mind!!!"

You won't be able to get rid of the waiting feeling as long as you're identified with your ego, it can manipulate nothing. And if you weren't your ego -- everything would already be materialized, so there would be nothing to wait for.

Vanessa: Well since I Am and I give life to everything, when Vanessa desires something, I can just "give" her her desires, right?

4dbarbie: The desire that *I*... the desire is of Vanessa, the Self can have that and it's nothing to it. It's just another experience. Those things are in you, not you in them.

You don't have to give her anything... you don't have to fulfill anybody... I Am is already everything... you only don't see you are all and have the all because you won't stop thinking you're the ego. All you're doing all the time is creating lack & limitation, perfection already is. You just add unsatisfying labels constantly with your wrong thinking.

Let go of the thinking, it's instant. No need to fulfill anybody. 1 My tip is to realize your Self, have enough courage to face Vanessa's fears. See how unnecessary is to pay them any mind at all. Let go of thinking you are this little helpless thing already. After you realize yourself, any bold assertion does it. There's no time delay. 2

Vanessa: Now I feel defeated, do I just give up on everything then?

4dbarbie: Feeling defeat is actually good, it prompts you to let go :D You don't need to reach for what is already within you. Give up the idea that you have not found it and just let it come into the focus of direct perception, here and now, by letting go of all that is of the mind.

Abandon all sense of separation, see yourself in all and act accordingly - Nisargadatta Maharaj

You have it, all is well. Just stop believing the illusions born out of thinking you're a person.

Vanessa: So as Awareness, I have to stop desiring?

4dbarbie: If you know yourself to be Awareness, then you know yourself to be the all. There is nothing to desire, because you have no reason to create desire.

That's why it's necessary to realize all that is is awareness and the person comes second. If you think all that is is the person, then the chances of believing you're suddenly a different person are slim, and the persuasion and convincing are nothing but a form of self-instilled mental torture. 1 All you're doing is imagining/thinking you're an ego who has to strive for things, but it is "I AM" imagining itself to be so.

What is beyond is clear of all striving. The cause of suffering is in the identification of the perceiver with the perceived. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

When that identification ceases, so does desire. Then, if you want to express yourself as being a person, nothing is stopping you from doing so, only know yourself first. After that, no matter what you choose to experience the world as, you will know you are not it and it can't hurt you.

Vanessa: What do I do when a desire or fear comes to my mind then? It doesn't feel right to suppress them...

4dbarbie: I am not talking of suppression. Just refuse attention. Nisargadatta has a saying "When you happen to walk in a crowd, you do not fight every man you meet — you just find your way between." Neville has another "Indifference is the knife that severs, feeling is the tie that binds." When you refuse to play the game, you are out of it.

Vanessa: Then how do I stop feeling anxious about trying to change my life?

4dbarbie: You are not the one who is anxious or fearful, the ego is fearful. LOA was wrong about letting go because you can't let go of desires or fears if you don't know who you really are. If you think you are this ego you can't help being anxious. You can't help wanting to get. Real surrendering can only be of the ego. By letting go of who you think you are and seeing you were never it in the first place, that it is because YOU are, you naturally drop all desires and fears because they weren't yours. 1 Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them.

Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are. All craving is due to a sense of insufficiency. When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

Vanessa: How do I stop feeling doubts then?

4dbarbie: You shut them down. There is no reason to argue with them, contemplate them, or give them any kind of attention at all. See them for what they are, an illusion of the mind. When you catch yourself being aware of something that's undesirable, just go 'What problem?' and know it to be perfect again. Always remember, the real you can't have doubts, only your ego can.

Vanessa: I feel like I'm not doing enough to realize my true Self. How can I be more productive on this journey?

4dbarbie: There's nothing to be productive about. What a silly concept. Don't add another burden or worry onto yourself. Right now you make yourself guilty over not seeking more and doing more to attain realization, but you already have it. You need not take time to meditate or put time aside to contemplate and "apply". All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours.

The guilt is because you think you're running out of time and you need to change "your" life now. Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough.

#interview #4dbarbie #nonduality #non duality #nondualism #non dualism

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jayahult · 1 year

Text

Okay so here's the thing. You're hired to do this job by this woman named Grace. And it's a very particular job, and you know she could do it with a machine but she needs this personal touch. And you follow along with it. It's pretty fun at times, after all. You do get this sense that she's just going through the motions with this, just meeting her needs and not much else, but that's not your problem or your business. And there are some odd things about it - she's a little pushy, and sometimes you find some art around her place that you presume is from someone she used to be in a relationship with, but that's not really your place to question. When things start to heat up is when you get into a fight over her wanting you to break ties with one of your friends. You both do and say some regrettable things, and you end up out of her reach for a bit, going through the motions and all that. Then, one day, you meet this other guy - let's call him Will. He's charming and he seems to have some sort of plan for his life, so you start hanging with him for a while. And then you run into her again. Grace. And she is pissed about this whole arrangement and the bad blood between you two, so you decide a little petty revenge is in order and to make a long story short Will gets the deed to her house. Then Will starts getting ideas, and Will? He's not so good when he gets ideas. He ends up kicking you both out onto the street, and now you're down and out together. And you get to talking - well, you don't talk all that much, you've never been the talking type, but she talks a lot. You finally learn her real name - Carol - and her past. She apparently used to be in this thing with this guy back in the day who she had a really toxic relationship with that just... sucked the fun out of the sort of things you'd do together for her. He was this older guy, really just an arrogant asshole who took advantage of her and ever since she's been stuck like this. At any rate, you eventually manage to get back to Will, and you rough him up a little until you can manage to finagle things back into the proper place. With Carol back at the head of the house, things seem a little better, back in their proper place. The thing is, Carol's learned a little since you started this whole arrangement. She doesn't think that this will ever work out - not like it used to. So, instead of being possessive, she lets you go. She says that she doesn't feel anything for you anymore but that can't really be true. She sings to you as you leave, and sends you that old friend's number as a way of making up for that old fight. And that's why in Portal 3 you're going to march back up to that door, go back down into Aperture Labs, and fuck that robot.

#portal

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bones4thecats · 1 month

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Hello 👋🏻

Could I request Heracles, Buddha and Hades finding out their s/o is cursed with immortality because she managed to kill several gods as a mortal? In her defense, she was being hunted down by the gods.

What If Their Immortal! S/O Was Cursed?

Type of Writing: Request Name: What If Their Immortal! S/O Was Cursed? Characters: Heracles, Buddha, and Hades Requester: Anonymous

A/N: The God that I used for the story to fit together for my writing is completely fake. He does not exist (that I am aware of) in any kind of mythology or religion.

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

💪 Heracles has heard many stories from his fellow Gods about a 'God-Killing Human' and how dangerous they were that even they had taken down a former high-ranking God by the name of Merikh, who was the God of Death

💪 When you had killed said God, you were brought to the peak of a nearby mountain and offered by the humans as a sacrifice for your crimes against the Gods

💪 Zeus and a few others saw potential in you, so, instead of torturing you in many ways, like how they did Tantalus for trying to feed his son to them, they had gifted you with immortality, though you were not considered a God in their books

💪 You had been alive for a few centuries when Heracles became a God, but when you had first met him, you didn't confirm that you were the Immortal Killer of Gods, instead you said you were an average human with no value to him

💪 Heracles had bonded with you through many years, and the only reason he discovered you were immortal was when Ares had come with him and he had come across you after their training

" Oh! Ares, this is my- " " You know the Immortal Killer of Gods?! Heracles, you know what Dad'll say! " " Wait... you're the- WHAT?! "

💪 Despite trusting many despite their flaws, Heracles was very scared that you had lied to him about loving him and everything else. But, when he had spoken to his uncle Hades about it, he gained the knowledge that instead of immortality being a gift to you, it was more like curse for thinning their divine-numbers

💪 All of his concern about if you were lying had faded away, well, more like moved to the category of are you okay and what could you possibly be going through whenever coming across a divine being such as Heracles?

💪 But his biggest question was; why didn't you hate him?

💪 When you replied with how he had nothing to do with your sentencing and how it was your actions that led you to this, not his and how he didn't need to blame himself, he felt his heart melt and tears pocket in his eyes

💪 Despite living with such an everlasting and probably torturous life, you still do not hate those who punished you, you knew from the centuries you spent alone that this was what you should have expected. Though, Heracles still scolds you if you go into a depressive state of blaming yourself

" Dear, don't blame yourself. All humans makes mistakes! Myself included! Oh no, please don't cry anymore! Wait, no- "

🍭 As a human-turned-God, Buddha did not really see any issue with being this. In fact, he found it nice to round about and spend the rest of his 'afterlife' relaxing and keeping up with his path of enlightenment, and he loved to help others get on that path as well

🍭 While he was alive, he had heard stories of a human that killed many Gods, including one by the name of Merikh, a Death God who had tried killing many children just because he could

🍭 Buddha could sense something was wrong with you when he first met you on his path to enlightenment, you were just sitting beside a random river while your long white and gold robes flowed in the air, while a thick line of face-paint laid on your eyes from one side to the other

🍭 He just felt that you were far to quiet for your own good. But, since you didn't get up and join his group, Buddha just smiled, waved, and went on his merry way, not expecting to see you ever again

🍭 But, when he had awoke as a God and took a small walk a few hundred years after, he had noticed a familiar form at the edge of the river; you.

🍭 Before your relationship even began, he knew you were a form of divine being. But, he had no idea how you had gained the power of immortality, but as far as he guess, you could have been born with it

🍭 So, when Brunhilde had come to him to ask if she could have you fight in the next round of Ragnarok against a new and dangerous God, he declined, saying he didn't want his delicate immortal S/O to die

🍭 Brunhilde had spilled the beans. Telling your story of killing God after God until you made it to Merikh centuries before Buddha's birth. But, unlike Heracles, Buddha doesn't view you differently, you were his S/O. Plain and simple.

" Brunhilde, I understand why you would want 'em to fight. They're strong, and that's plain to see when they glare at anyone. But, I am not letting them risk their life against some new douche from the Norse Pantheon. They're my S/O to protect and cherish, and I plan on doin' that for a long time, longer than these last few centuries. Do they're not doing it, got it? "

🍭 He also loves to just stand there and flip of Zeus with you, since he had cursed you in the first place and Buddha just didn't like the old geezer

💀 Hades had known about you for centuries, as he was one of the Gods who was against torturing you, and instead just giving you a sentence of immortality to satisfy the lives lost of their allies

💀 This guy is very distant, even to most of his own Pantheon, so he always has had rumors floating around that he may be doing something behind everyone's back. Well, technically he was, but still- you get the point!

💀 Whenever Hades would go up to the surface and relax in the rare sunlight he ever gets, he would always try visiting you in your small home located deep within the forest

💀 He had noticed you had gotten used to being an immortal quite quick, and that shocked him. It had taken Heracles a little while to accept the fact that he was immortal himself, but you accepted it within a couple years while his was nearly double your time!

💀 Hades had asked you to be his one and only a few hundred years of knowing one another, and when you said yes, he just smiled and spun you around, thanking his fellow Gods for you being immortal like him

💀 But, Hades didn't understand how this had been affecting you internally...

💀 While you seemed to accept outliving everyone you cared about, on the inside, you were the complete opposite. You had had many panic attacks and nightmares of the Gods you had killed, especially the Death God, Merikh, in which you would wake up in a cold sweat

💀 The only reason that he found out was because of your small friendship with Hermes, who was a well-known gossiper. He had found out about your nightmares getting worse and had confronted his uncle about it, not sparing a detail, much to your annoyance

💀 Hades had come to you directly and, while you were away, had his servants move your things from your home to his. He didn't do this to observe you more- well, he kinda did, I guess- BUT. He mainly did it because you were married and married couples live together!

💀 Yeah right

💀 It only took a couple nights together for your nightmares to calm down, as feeling the lovingly-tight grip your husband had on your midsection made you feel protected and adored instead of hunted and hated for your actions of the past

" Sweet-Skull, you have no need to cry over such an event happening to you. As long as I am here, nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever come close to harming you again. "

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etherealkissed88 · 3 months

Note

Hey babe how are you?

I’m struggling there and would love an insight 🥁🥁🥁I can’t seem to fulfill myself lately.

I’m usually heavy on visualizing and inner convo and I feel so numb. My 2 big ongoing manifestations are SP and getting a job. I’ve been fulfilled before and got movement then had a major anxious episode and worked my way up to stability and neutral perspective of my 3D ✅

Now I want to fulfill myself and feel as good as I used to, feel like I’m on a cloud and constantly returning back to 4D because it feels soooo good BUT I just can’t ?? I know what I want and it doesn’t seem out of reach anymore thanks to my own study of the law I know how it works etc… but I just don’t feel anything anymore, and for whatever desire, I try to fulfill my inner self like she’s Cleopatra giving her everything food friends activities etc… but I’m just meh 🫤

Good thing I don’t go into old story negative story anymore but I mean come on A GIRL WANTS TO FEEL GOOD!!! Help me please 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

it seems like ur chasing the wrong “feeling”. youre searching for the excitement feeling (emotional) which is fine but the feeling you should be focused on is the knowing. remember feeling = knowing. you dont have to feel euphoria every time u fulfill urself bc it reaches a point where it starts to feel natural so you feel calm instead of excited. the important thing is that you know (feel) that you have what you imagined. think about it: when you first got your phone, you were so excited to get it every time u thought about it but now you dont feel that excitement bc you know its done. u feel calm (emotional feeling) bc you know feel fulfilled and know its urs.

so this isnt something to worry about bc u just are starting to see what u imagine as normal/natural which is why you feel calm instead of happy. but if you want to chase emotional feeling then just have fun imagining something new. what do you rly want? what do u rly want to experience? or maybe u can just have fun knowing it feels natural to feel like cleopatra (if that makes sense). and good job on knowing the 3d is neutral😈 im proud of you!!!!🎀

#ask jani🎀

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twignotstick · 2 months

Text

Broken Brothers (and How to Fix Them)

Part 2 💙 | <- Part 1 🧡

Note: This story is based on @cupcakeslushie 's Empyrean Weeping au. These characters are not my own, and this story is in no way canon to the main story. I wrote this as my love letter to the story and the characters. Especially April :)

Tags: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT, Leo & April, NOT MY CHARACTERS, Empyrean Weeping AU, recovery (i have a sneaking suspicion that will apply to the whole fic,,), talking it out because we're adults, movies, comics, they're becoming friends

Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): Mention of violence (its one sentence, but figure I should still put it here :P)

Words: 1,588 (there's less setup this time)

Summary: April was able to figure out her first brother easily. Now, she gets three more, with a couple more issues to worry about.

----------------------

As soon as she even saw Leo for the first time, she knew he wouldn't be as easy to get along with as Mikey was. Mikey was always so open, so bright, so bouncy. Leo, in comparison, was still, dull, and closed off. He had just come from a terrible ninja clan, beaten by his own master. It was kind of warranted.

Any time April would enter the medbay where they were keeping Leo, he would silently stare a hole in her soul. His face had hardly loosened from the scowl he had adopted, and any time April would get near, it would just harden more. Even so, April kept trying to get close. Despite Raph's concerns for her physical health. (And with Mikey's encouragement, because he was happy to enable the potentially dangerous behavior.)

One afternoon, she decided to bring a ton of her Jupiter Jim comics to read. The boys needed a break from watching their somewhat-volatile-yet-severely-wounded brother, and April knew he wouldn't talk to her. So, once she settled down in her chair a few feet away from the bed where Leo was scowling, she pulled out the comic she'd left off on: Jupiter Jim Breaks Newton's Fourth Law, Volume 8.

After a few minutes of reading, April couldn't help but notice a change in Leo out of her peripheral vision. He wasn't staring at her anymore, but at her comic. This glare wasn't full of discontent and uncertainty. Instead, it was filled with emotions he was trying (and failing) to hide- curiosity and excitement.

“You read Jupiter Jim?”

Leo was surprised by the sudden question and whipped his gaze away, a slight flush coming to his cheeks. “No.”

April's journalism senses were kicking in. There was a story here. “Why not?”

“Things like that are…” Leo's posture tightened, almost as if the thing he was about to say wasn't what he believed, “useless distractions.”

“I don't think so,” April said, shifting her chair a little closer to the bed. “I think it's important to have distractions sometimes. Y'know, during finals, when you're sick, when you've got a broken arm…” Subtly, April started slipping the comic in her hands to the bed. “You can read it, if you want.”

“No. I can't.”

Leo looked surprisingly aggressive when he responded. He seemed to catch his unwarranted anger and mumbled, “I still haven't read 6 or 7.”

“Oh!” April sat up straight and grabbed her bag from the floor. “I've got the whole arc up to 9 in here, I thiiink-” Once she had fished out the comics she was looking for, she placed them on the corner of the bed by Leo's feet.

The slider stared at the comics like they'd offended him.

“...well?”

“I-I can't. I can't hold them with my arm-”

“I can hold it for you!” April said. “I can turn the pages whenever you need.”

Leo finally looked back at April with that trademark scowl he always had. “What's your game, woman?”

April smiled. “No games, just trying to make you feel comfortable in your new home.”

Leo huffed. “This isn't my home.”

“It's where your family is, isn't it? Isn't that what matters?” April asked genuinely.

Leo looked back down at the comics. His eyes softened while the rest of his expression remained, and he picked Volume 6 up with his good arm. He opened it and silently began to read.

They both sat and read for a while. April noticed Leo struggling to turn pages sometimes, but she didn't dare try to help him. She thought he might bite her hand if she did. He was still scowling at the comic as he read, but it looked less like a scowl of anger and more one of concentration.

When he got done with Volume 6, April spoke. “So, who's your favorite character?”

“...JJ, obviously.” Leo slowly reached out and grabbed the next volume.

“Seriously? That's so basic.”

Leo scoffed. “Really? Then who's your favorite character?”

“Atomic Lass, obvi,” April said, flipping her hair for emphasis.

“Atomic Lass?! Her personality is literally just ‘woman’.”

“Uh, yeah, and that's the point?! Atomic Lad is just ‘man’. Haven't you watched Jupiter Jim on the Atomic Sub-Moon?”

Leo's shoulders lowered. “...watched?”

April sprung up and put her arms on the bed, looking down at Leo in shock. “YOU'VE NEVER WATCHED A JUPITER JIM MOVIE?!”

“NO?! THEY MAKE THOSE?!”

“THAT'S IT!” April grabbed her bag from the floor and moved it over to the side of Leo's bed. “You, keep reading. I'll get one of the boys to watch you. I need to head home and get my box set. We are having a movie night. Understand?!”

“Y-yes ma'am!”

“We can start with Last Trip to the Moon 1, but then we are watching Atomic Sub-Moon, I DO NOT care if the context is lost, you'll figure it out.”

“O-okay?!”

“RAPH!”

----------------------

“So… the real Atomic Lad and Atomic Lass are dead?!”

“Yes! And the Atomic Lad and Lass we know are-”

“People carrying on the legacy, who the Atomic people believe are still the originals?!”

“YES! That's why they never use their real names, that's why-”

“Why they act like Barbie and Ken for space…”

“Now you get it!” April leaned back into her bean bag and put her arms behind her head. The movie night had gone way better than expected. They had to set up the best pillow pile they could, since they didn't have a sofa big enough for everybody. In the end, April and Leo stayed in bean bags and watched the movies while the others went about their day. It took a minute for Leo to get into it, but once the moon buggy showed up, he was hooked. For the first time, April saw a child in Leo.

“So, have I won you over with an emotional, heart breaking backstory?” April asked slyly.

“Uh, no.”

April's eyes snapped to the slider. “WHAT?! What do you meeean?! I don't get how you like JJ more than Atomic Lass!”

“Well, he's the main character for a reason, for one.” Leo took another bite of the pizza slice he had been eating. “And second, he's the one who always gets everyone out of the bad stuff. He's the hero, and he isn't scared to sacrifice for his crew.”

“But, consider this, Atomic Lass has a giant rocket powered hammer, Leo.”

“JJ doesn't need a weapon. He's got the nerve pinch technique.”

“They never use the nerve pinch technique, though!” April whined.

“That doesn't mean he doesn't have it!”

“I never thought someone could be as dorky as April,” Raph said from where he stood a few feet away from the bean bag setup. “And yet, here we are.”

“Wh- dorky?!” Leo scoffed, looking at Raph incredulously.

“Yeah, dorky!” Mikey popped out from behind Raph's shoulder. “Y'know, nerdy? Geeky? Criiinge?”

Leo's face flushed and he curled in on himself, stammering.

“Hey, y'all are just jealous that we're bonding,” April defended. “If you gave JJ a chance, you'd like it too.”

Raph and Mikey both shut up quick. April waved them off, and they hurried out to the kitchen again, saying they were “getting more snacks”.

Now that they were alone, April looked over at Leo again. “They're stupid. Can't appreciate good media.”

“Good media?” Leo asked. “You mean B-Movies and old comics?”

“Yeah, man.” April grabbed a blanket and tossed it over at Leo, making him fumble to keep it off his face with his good arm. “It makes you feel good, doesn't it?”

Leo looked down and contemplated. “I mean… yeah. But I-”

“Shouldn't?”

Leo took a deep breath. “Yeah.”

“You don't have to worry about what you should or shouldn't do here, Leo,” April said, sitting more upright to look at Leo better. “You do what you want. What makes you feel good. That's all you should worry about when you're home. Doing what you want and feeling good.”

Leo turned away, looking at the TV, paused at the end of the credits.

“If it means anything, this really made me feel good,” April said. “It's cool to have somebody to talk about ‘nerd stuff’ with. And I'm glad you liked the movies. Atomic Sub-Moon is one of my favorites. Not as good as Pluto Vacation 4, but good.”

“There's more?” Leo asked timidly.

“Oh, there's loads more!” April grinned. “There's like a jillion Last Trip to the Moons, there's Jupiter Jim and the Overly Complicated Magic System, Jupiter Jim Squared Minus One, Jupiter Jim Breaks into Federal Prison, there's tons! We can have more movie nights, if you want.”

Leo looked at the blanket laying over him, grabbing it and rubbing it between his fingers. “I think… I think I want that.”

April pumped her fist. “Sweet! This means I've still got time to win you over to the Atomic Side.”

Leo let a single laugh escape his lips. “Yeah, not happening. Jim is the best, I don't care what you say. Even Red Fox is better than Atomic Lass.”

“AH! HOW DARE YOU?!” April stood up and looked down at Leo. “Just you wait, nonbeliever. Just wait until I show you the Atomic Lass spinoff comic. Or the Atomic Lass movies. You will change.”

“I wouldn't bet on it.”

“Oh YEAH?! I will bet on it. I'll bet on it so hard, you can call me Troy Bolton.”

Leo's eyes nervously shifted from side to side, centering back on April. “...who?”

“...YOU'VE NEVER SEEN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL?!”

“NO?!?”

“RAPH!”

○●○●○●○

Yippee! Part 2! Part 3 is giving me more... issues... so it might take a minute to come out. But its coming! 🟪🐢

I really leaned into Leo's inner dorkiness here. I just thought him and April bonding over their obsession with an insane astronaut man was so cute. <3 (This is also why I'm so excited for the rest of Leo's arc in the actual comic! GAH!!!)

Congrats to everyone who won the first round of @tmntaucompetition voting! Very excited for the next round coming up :)

Part 3 -> 💜

#tmnt #tmnt au #rottmnt #tmnt fanfiction #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au propaganda #tmnt separated au #separated au #tmnt leo #tmnt april #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #twig writes

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merrybloomwrites · 2 months

Text

I Hear Them Calling (Chapter 7)

Story Summary: Alpha Harry Styles and omega Y/N Y/L/N meet under less than ideal circumstances. Overtime their paths will cross and they will be drawn to one another in ways they never expected.

Chapter Summary: Y/N deals with going off her medications and being apart from Harry. They finally reconnect to spend the holidays together.

Previous Chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5 ; Chapter 6

Word Count: 6k

CW: smut

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first week without suppressants and soothers isn’t awful. There's just enough of the medication still in your system to keep you feeling somewhat normal. Plus, your nest, really your entire apartment, is still holding on to Harry’s scent.

You continue to sacrifice sleep so you can watch live streams of Harry’s shows. You’re pleasantly surprised to see “Canyon Moon” back on the set list. You can’t help but wonder if it has anything to do with you telling him that it’s your favorite song.

Those first days lull you into a false sense of security. Maybe letting your omega out, living as nature intended, won’t be the worst thing.

But after that first week, things start to take a turn. Your system is definitely cleared of the meds now. And Harry’s scent has faded from your nest and apartment. You sleep restlessly Tuesday night, and Wednesday morning is rough. Not only are the touch deprivation symptoms coming back, but now you’re exhausted on top of it. Part of you wants to open another bag of scented items that Harry gave you so you can fix your nest. But that would be silly since you’re traveling home this afternoon to be with your family for Thanksgiving.

Instead, you decide to pack one of those bags with you, so you have his scent if needed. You realize that you likely won’t, since being around your family tends to soothe your omega. While packs don’t really exist anymore there’s still an inherent connection to family members that simulates the connection of packmates.

Your cousins know you're an omega, and though no one ever explicitly talks about it, they take care of you in little ways. They subtly check on you, or they’ll create a makeshift nest of blankets so that you all can cuddle together during movie nights. Even though they’re betas, their presence, and their obvious love for you has always helped keep you balanced.

Plus, your oldest cousin now has two pups, one a toddler and one only a few months old. No one complains when you baby hog them, knowing that holding a pup is also very soothing for an omega.

Reenergized at the thought of seeing your family, you’re able to get out of bed and finish packing, making sure to include one unopened bag of Harry’s scented items just in case.

After finishing the last two projects you’re doing for work, you start the hour-long drive home. When you arrive, you’re greeted by your parents, aunt, uncle, and one of your cousins. They’ll all be staying at the house, while your other two out of town cousins, along with their spouses and the kids, rented an Airbnb nearby.

You and your cousin Kelly will be sharing your room. It’s not the first time, since you’re an only child and she’s the youngest of three so you were often put together during family trips. She’s a couple years younger, in her final year of college, but the two of you have always been close. She’s also a huge Harry Styles fan and you kind of can’t wait to spill the beans about your relationship with him.

It’s a chaotic afternoon as you all work on preparing the house to host everyone for the next few days. Everyone comes over for pizza dinner and it’s wonderful to be surrounded by so many people. There’s music playing, conversations flowing, and constant laughter. You sit and color with your cousin’s son and get some baby cuddles with her daughter. It’s a perfect night and takes your mind off your problems for the moment.

That night, you and Kelly are getting ready for bed when your phone buzzes. You quickly turn to grab it but she’s faster. You see the screen for a second and there’s definitely a text from Harry.

He’s saved in your phone as just “Harry”, so she doesn’t know exactly who you’re talking to, as evidenced by her immediately asking “Ooooh who’s Harry?”

“I’m going to tell you, but you cannot freak out, or tell anyone else yet, okay?” you reply.

She nods yes with a comically serious look on her face.

“Harry is Harry Styles.”

For a moment there is silence as she stares at you blankly. You’re startled when she suddenly shouts “WHAT?”

You jump before quickly shushing her, as you don’t want either of your parents to find out what you’re talking about.

“If you promise to stay quiet, I’ll tell you the whole story,” you state.

Kelly quickly sits down and mimes locking her lips shut, showing that she intends to listen. You sit on the bed across from her and dive in, starting from the first concert of his you went to, all the way until his visit last week. She listens intently, eyes wide in disbelief.

“So. Harry Styles is your boyfriend? And your alpha?” She says, and you nod to confirm. It sends butterflies through your belly, hearing someone else refer to Harry in that way. It’s been such a well-kept secret since the first interaction and it’s so nice to have someone close to you know all the details. It almost makes it more real somehow.

After answering all of Kelly’s questions she gets up to finish getting ready for bed. You pull up your phone to answer Harry’s text from earlier. He was reaching out to check on you and wish you a good night, and it warms your heart to know you’re on his mind even countries apart.

You sleep well that night and wake up feeling refreshed on Thanksgiving morning. After a quick breakfast and cup of tea you get down to business to help your mom prepare for dinner. The rest of your family arrives in the early afternoon and the party is soon in full swing.

The next morning is slow and lazy, everyone just hanging out and watching movies together. You all enjoy the Thanksgiving leftovers throughout the day, and by mid-afternoon you’ve brought out a few different games to play together. You’re feeling great, though you do with you could have your alpha by your side. That would make it truly perfect.

That night you and Kelly lay in bed watching a livestream of Harry’s show. The next morning everyone packs up to travel back home, including you.

Your apartment now feels extra lonely, so you quickly shower before building a new nest using the items Harry gave you. Since he doesn’t have a show, you Facetime for hours that afternoon. You tell him all about your visit home and fills you in on how his time in Mexico was.

You discuss when you can see each other again, a conversation which should make you happy, but instead becomes a bit stressful. While you want nothing more than to join Harry on tour, there’s still up to three weeks until your passport is definitely going to arrive. You’d never left the country before, never had plans to, and so you never really thought about getting one. If you could go back in time, you’d slap past you or being so unprepared.

“Christmas is more than three weeks away,” Harry says. “Would you consider coming to England for the holidays?”

“Like, with your family?” you inquire.

“I’d like for you to meet them,” he replies. “It’s going to be low-key this year. Just mum, Gemma, and Michal.”

“Okay. Yea, that sounds fun!” It does. Totally fun. Only fun. Not stressful at all to meet the family so soon.

“Do you think it’ll be a problem with your parents?”

“They’ve always wanted to spend the holidays on a vacation to South Carolina. Maybe I’ll make that my gift to them and then everyone will be happy,” you answer. It’s something you’ve wanted to do for them for years anyway and you finally have more than enough money in savings to make it happen.

“That sounds really nice,” he says. “How long do you think you can come for? I’d love to have you here for Christmas and New Years if possible.”

“I could do that. The next couple weeks will be busy at work, but it calms way down by Christmas. I’ll obviously have to work a bit while I’m there, but it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Fantastic! I’ll get a potential itinerary over to you and you can let me know if it needs any changes.”

You talk a little longer before hanging up to go to sleep. You’re feeling better now knowing that you have plans to see him, even if you are disappointed that it’s still a month away.

And what an awful month it turns out to be. Harry does everything he can to be helpful, but there’s just not much he can do for touch deprivation from a distance. You talk on the phone as much as possible and the scented clothes he sent you are a true lifesaver. But every day becomes a struggle. The constant itch causes you to scratch your skin raw, no number of blankets can get you warm, and you’ve had to cut way down on exercise since it always leaves you dizzy.

You’re so exhausted that packing is a nearly full day chore, but the knowledge that you’ll see Harry in less than 48 hours is enough to motivate you to finish the task. You’re taking the red eye and landing in the morning the day before Christmas. Harry informed you a few days prior that he’ll be in London for a meeting when you land, and that Gemma will be picking you up. You’re disappointed that you won’t see him right away, but he promised he’ll be there in time for dinner.

Your normal travel anxiety is ten times worse than usual, partially due to it being your first international flight and partially due to the lack of suppressants and soothers that you’d relied on for years. Harry had insisted on purchasing you a first-class ticket, which you fought him on, saying it was unnecessary. But now that you’ve finished boarding, you’re grateful. You’re already overstimulated from being around so many people in the airport and it’s nice to have so much space during the flight.

You try to get some rest but for some reason you just cannot fall asleep. Instead, you listen to the podcasts you downloaded while curled up, face tucked into Harry’s sweater that you saved just for this trip.

The moment you land you get a text from Gemma that she’s on her way and will be there in half an hour, giving you time to collect your luggage and get to the pickup area. You’re too tired to be nervous about meeting your boyfriend’s sister for the first time, which is a true blessing at this moment.

You’re only waiting outside for a minute before you see her pull up. She hops out of the car to greet you with a hug and help you get your suitcase into the trunk.

She makes conversation throughout the drive, but can tell you’re exhausted and says, “Mums got some breakfast waiting at home and Harry’s room is ready for you, so you can get a nap before he gets back.”

She pulls up to the house a moment later and quickly grabs your bag before leading you inside.

“Mum!” she calls out as she opens the door. Moments later, Anne steps into the entryway and pulls you in for a hug, saying, “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Harry cannot stop talking about you.” You smile and blush at that and reply, “It’s nice to meet you as well. Thank you for having me.”

“Of course! We couldn’t be more excited that you’re joining us for the holidays! Now come, you must be starving.”

She leads you into the kitchen and the three of you sit together and have a late breakfast. They do most of the talking, which you appreciate.

After you’re done eating you try to clean up, but Anne stops you saying, “Leave everything, please, you’re our guest. You must be tired; Gemma can bring you up to Harry’s room so you can rest a bit.”

“That would be great, thank you so much,” you reply.

Gemma leads you upstairs, pointing out the bathroom before leading you to Harry’s bedroom. You’re immediately hit with his scent, so potent that for a second you think he must be there with you.

You quickly scan the room, taking in the decorations and all his books and belongings. It’s like a shrine of Harry, and you want to examine everything, but you’re truly exhausted. As soon as Gemma steps out you start getting ready for a nap. There’s a pile of clothes on the bed, a t-shirt and some pajama pants. They’re doused in Harry’s scent and without even thinking, you change into them.

The room starts to spin around you, and you immediately get into bed. The world goes black the second your head hits the pillow.

Nearly two hours later Harry arrives home. He’s earlier than expected thanks to his afternoon meeting getting cancelled. You’re unaware of his return, still knocked out in his bed.

“Hi Mum, hey Gemma,” he says, walking into the living room where the two of them are watching a movie together.

“Harry! We didn’t expect you for quite a while, dear,” Anne replies.

“Last meeting was cancelled, apparently there’s a storm up north so half the team couldn’t make it. They’ll reschedule after the holidays. Is Y/N here?” As much as he enjoys talking with his family, he hasn’t seen you in over a month and doesn’t want to spend another minute away from you.

“Yea, she’s taking a nap in your room,” Gemma replies.

Harry sniffs the air before saying, “Hm, that’s odd,” and sniffing the air again.

“What is?”

“I can’t catch her scent.”

“She probably wore some strong scent blockers for the flight,” Anne reassures him, picking up on his shift from excited to worried.

“Probably,” he replies, but he’s not sold on that explanation. “I’m just gonna go up and check on her.”

He turns and heads upstairs, stopping in the bathroom quickly to wash his hands and splash some water on his face, before changing into a clean outfit he’d left in there earlier. He knows you’ve likely been bombarded with other scents during your travels and wants to make sure no strangers scents cling to him.

Once he’s sure he smells only of himself, he crosses the hall. He knocks on the door gently but enters slowly when he gets no reply. At first he thinks you’re sleeping. You look asleep, curled up in his blankets. But you don’t seem at rest.

Your breathing is rapid, not deep and even like it would be if you’re asleep. And he can hear the faint whimpers that indicate you’re distressed. He stands there for a moment, shocked at the state he found you in, but another whine from you kicks him into action.

He turns out of the room, shouting for Gemma to come upstairs. She runs up, hearing the edge of panic in her little brother’s voice.

“How long has Y/N been up here?” he asks, needing as much information as he can get.

“Maybe two hours. Why? What’s going on?”

“Did she seem like, upset at all? Or spacey or dizzy? Did she seem off in any way?”

“Not that I noticed. She was just really tired. Harry, what is it?”

“I think she dropped,” he replies.

It’s quiet for a moment before Gemma says, “You said she had to go off her medications right? And she’s been without her alpha for a month, so she has some intense touch deprivation. Plus, she’s exhausted from traveling to another country. Being in your space, which probably reeks of your scent, might have put her omega over the edge.”

Harry nods along, knowing his sister is probably right.

“I should’ve been with her. Gemma, I have no idea what type of drop this is! Maybe it’s a good one because she’s in my space, but she seems distressed.”

“Harry, take a breath. You know what you need to do right now. So calm down and be there for your omega. Would you feel better if mum and I left? Gave you guys some privacy?”

“I don’t want to kick you guys out.”

“Of course not. We have some last-minute shopping to do. We were just waiting until you came home. Go, take care of your girl. We’ll see you later. And call if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you Gems,” he replies. Gemma walks downstairs and Harry takes a minute to calm himself. He knows that he needs his emotions in check to be able to help you. Just as he’s confident that his feelings won’t negatively affect you he hears the front door close, indicating that the two of you are now alone in the house.

He walks into the room and finds that you haven’t moved. He first crouches by the bed, leaning close in hopes that you’ll notice he’s there and he won’t startle you. There’s no change so he starts to emit calming pheromones. This seems to catch your attention, and Harry watches as you subconsciously seek him out.

Now that you seem to know that your alpha is there, he climbs into the bed with you. He does so slowly, watching your reaction the whole time. He gently shifts you to hold you against his chest and angles your face so that your nose is against his scent gland. He continues to let out the calming pheromones which seem to be working, as you’ve stopped whimpering.

Harry gives you some time to stay under, but he’s fairly sure this is a bad drop, so he starts to bring you out sooner than later.

“It’s time to come up, omega,” he says. “Can you come back to me? I’d really like to see you. Been waiting so long.”

It doesn’t work right away, but after a few minutes of Harry talking to you, the haze of the drop starts to fade. Finally, your eyes blink open and meet his.

“There you are,” he says, his voice relieved.

“Alpha?” you say, still dazed and confused. Your body feels heavy, and you don’t recognize your surroundings. Everything feels strange, but you know that you’re okay, now that your alpha is there.

“I’m here, omega. I’ve got you.” You’re immediately soothed by his presence, and by his words. Your brain finally clicks on, and you fully realize that you’re in Harry’s room, in his arms. You begin to shift, Harry reaching out to make sure you’re steady. He realizes what you’re trying to do and moves as well until you’re situated in a way that you can both scent each other at the same time.

You sigh as his nose brushes against your scent glad before doing the same to him. It isn’t long before your scents mix together to fill the room.

“Are you alright, love?” Harry asks.

“I’m good, now that you’re here,” you truthfully reply, blushing at your vulnerable statement.

“I’ve missed you, so much,” he says before moving to kiss you. His lips move lazily against yours, and you have to swallow back a whine at the feeling of him against you.

After a couple minutes he pulls back and says, “Mum and Gemma are out. What would you like to do next? Do you want to sleep a little more, or eat, or take a shower?”

You think about it for a moment and reply, “Can we take a bath?”

“We? Together?” he questions.

You blush and say, “I definitely want to wash all the travel grime off me, but I kind of don’t want to leave your side. It’s that’s okay with you.”

“It’s more than okay with me, as long as you’re comfortable.”

“I am,” you say with a shy smile.

You both get out of bed, and Harry collects towels and clean clothes for both of you. He then fills the tub, pulling his shirt off so he can test the water without his sleeve getting wet. Your heart starts to race as you realize that you’re both about to see each other naked for the first time. For some reason you’re grateful that it’s in this setting, rather than a sexual one. It lessens the nerves, knowing that there’s no expectations here.

He slides off his pants, leaving him in boxer briefs. You do the same, then throw your shirt off as well before you can overthink too much. You weren’t wearing a bra, meaning your chest is now exposed to Harry. He takes a deep breath before saying, “You’re beautiful.”

Harry quickly shuts the water off and turns back to you. “We can stay like this if you’d like? Keep our underpants on?”

You shake your head no and your hands go to the waistband of your panties.

“Together?” you ask.

“Together,” he replies, and follows your lead, slowly lowering his underwear until you’re both standing there, completely bare. You fight off the urge to cover your body and hear Harry quietly say, “Absolutely perfect.” This compliment gives you the courage to look up, and your eyes quickly scan over him, briefly stopping at his groin. Your breath stutters as you take in his impressive size, and his smirks when he notices.

“C’mon,” he says. “Let’s get in before the water cools.”

He has you get in first, keeping you steady so you don’t slip. He slides in behind you and gently pulls you, so your back is resting against his chest. You feel his groin brush your skin, and tense for a moment before relaxing. You’re surprisingly comfortable with the whole situation.

You both stay like that, silently relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. Eventually, Harry says, “Scooch forward, let me wash your hair.”

He does so, first shampooing, then putting in conditioner, being extremely gentle as he does so. He then grabs a shower puff and spreads some body wash on it, before giving you a look asking if it’s okay for him to clean your body. You nod yes, and he focuses on rubbing the soap over your limbs and torso. He makes a mental note of the scratch marks on your skin, and frowns at how bad your touch deprivation must have been to cause this. He hesitates with his hand resting on your thigh. You open your legs slightly, silently giving him permission to clean between them as well. A gasp escapes your mouth at the feeling, but it only lasts a moment before he’s done and moving away.

Harry quickly washes himself as well, and by the time you’re both soap free, the water has become uncomfortably cool. He gets out and dries off first before helping you again and wrapping you in a fluffy towel.

Once you’re dry you both get dressed and head downstairs to watch a movie together. That’s how Anne and Gemma find you when they arrive home an hour later.

After talking for a few minutes Harry checks the time and gets up, saying, “I should really get started on dinner.”

“Want any help?” Anne asks but he quickly shakes his head and says, “I’ve got it, you girls relax.”

You last five, maybe ten minutes before you’re making an excuse to join Harry in the kitchen.

“Hey, you,” he says when you walk into the room. “Miss me?” he asks jokingly.

You chuckle awkwardly, not wanting to admit that he’s right. It feels clingy, but you’re still shaking off the drop, and the touch deprivation, and being away from Harry is physically painful. He picks up on this and immediately stops what he’s doing to focus on you. He pulls you in for a hug and whispers, “I missed you too.”

You stay in the kitchen with him, helping chop veggies for the stir fry. As soon as it’s ready the four of you sit together at the table. The food is delicious, because of course Harry’s a good cook on top of his other talents. After dinner is done and cleaned up you’re all back at the table with mugs of tea.

Though it’s not exactly late, you find it hard to keep your eyes open. Harry immediately senses how sleepy you are, and the two of you say a quick goodnight to Anne and Gemma before heading upstairs. You brush your teeth side-by-side in the bathroom, feeling very domestic. He hands you some of his clothes to wear to bed.

“I did pack my own clothes you know,” you say while changing into the ones he gave you.

“I know, but you just look so cute in mine,” he replies, his eyes soft as he looks at you in a pair of his pajama pants and an oversized sweater.

The two of you get into bed and Harry opens his arms for you. After getting comfortable together you quickly fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Christmas eve, Christmas, and Boxing Day pass with lots of gifts exchanged, movies watched, games played, and meals shared. The rest of the week is both exciting and relaxing. You do a little work each morning before going on an adventure with Harry and then ending the day with a movie.

It’s wonderful getting to know Harry’s family and see where he grew up. People recognize him when you’re out in public, but it’s not like it would be in any big city. He’s not being swarmed by fans, but rather greeted by his neighbors who are excited to see him home for the holidays.

The two of you get invited to a New Years Eve party in London, and after debating for a bit you both decide to go, planning to leave early so you can ring in the New Year just the two of you.

You drive to the city early that day to settle into his home there and go out for a late lunch. His house is beautiful, and you’re stunned by how well decorated it is. You tell him this and can see the way he lights up with pride at your compliments. Somehow he doesn’t get spotted while you’re walking around London, so you guys get to enjoy an uninterrupted meal and a walk where he points out some of his favorite spots.

He senses you getting cold and immediately routes back to his house. You both shower and get ready for the party, dressing up more than you ever have together. You put on a sparkly green, long sleeve dress that falls to mid-thigh. This gets paired with your black heeled boots, opting for some comfort and protection in the footwear department.

He’s wearing a pair of black slacks, and a silver top, buttoned halfway. The two of you spend a moment just staring at each other, completely at a loss for words. Harry’s first to regain his senses, saying, “You look absolutely stunning, omega.”

“Thank you alpha. You look very handsome,” you reply.

He walks closer, until his hands wrap around your waist, and he pulls you flush against him. You gasp at the sudden move, and he leans down to kiss you, his tongue slipping through your parted lips. For a few minutes you get lost in the feeling of him moving against you. Slick starts to leak into your panties, and the groan Harry let’s out tells you he can smell it. His hips roll harder against you for another moment before he pulls back. Both of you take deeps breaths, and you note how blown his pupils are.

You turn to walk back into the bedroom and Harry asks, “Where are you going?”

“I’ve gotta change my underwear,” you reply.

“Do you have to?”

“Yes, Harry,” you say through a laugh. “I can’t go to a party smelling like slick!”

“Sarah’s going to be the only other alpha there, I’m sure she won’t be bothered.”

“Harry, behave!”

“No promises on that.”

You roll your eyes playfully before walking away to clean yourself up. By the time you get back Harry has his coat on and is holding yours.

There’s still a hint of arousal in his scent and he says, “Are you sure we have to go? We could just stay here, get out of these clothes…” he trails off suggestively.

“Yes, we have to go. You already committed. We don’t, however, have to stay. So let’s go so we can make an appearance and then get back here and see what we can do about getting out of these clothes.”

Harry smiles at the confirmation that you’re on the same page as him. He helps you slip on your coat and the two of you leave the house.

Luckily the party is in his neighborhood so the two of you walk there. You’re greeted by Harry’s friends when you arrive, and immediately start to catch up with Mitch and Sarah. Harry never leaves your side, his arm always wrapped protectively around your waist. Some people may see this as a possessive alpha move, but to you it means safety and comfort.

You stay at the party for a couple hours before ducking out around 11PM. Harry continues to hold you close the whole walk back, and the air is definitely charged with a new tension. His scent has shifted slightly, a hint of spice added to his normal warm smells.

Once in the house you both calmly remove your coats and shoes, neither of you making the first move just yet. It’s like you want the tension to grow until you can’t stand it anymore. You take some initiative and walk upstairs to the bedroom with Harry following behind.

He finally breaks when you arrive in the bedroom, and he turns you to face him before crashing his lips to yours. You can’t hold back the whine of pleasure, and if the way he groans and tightens his grip on you is any indication, he’s a fan of the noise you make.

His hands start to move down your sides until they reach the bare skin of your legs. He starts to slide them back up, now going under your skirt as he moves to press kisses to your neck. You loop your arms over his shoulders and tilt your head to give him more room. Your skirt bunches as his hands make their way to the sides of your torso. In a show of strength, he lifts you up and lays you on the bed.

He crawls over you, and you reach up to unbutton the rest of his shirt and push it off. It’s your turn to slide your hands over his sides, loving the feeling of the smooth skin beneath your fingers. Harry places more kisses to your neck before moving down until he’s placing a kiss between your covered breasts.

You feel the slick coating your center, knowing your panties are absolutely ruined. Both of your scents are growing stronger, his becoming spicier while yours turns sweeter. It mixes together deliciously, and you could grow addicted to the smell.

“Can I take this off?” Harry asks, gripping the bottom of your dress in his hands.

“Yes,” you reply as you sit up slightly so he can pull it off of you. His breathing stops as most of your body is bared in front of him. His hand drifts towards your chest and he looks at you with a silent question. You nod, giving him permission to touch you. He doesn’t hesitate, and you moan as his large hands cup your breasts before his thumbs move across your nipples. You never knew just a simple touch could feel so good, but his hands are like magic.

He spends minutes focusing on your chest, first with his hands, then his mouth. You’re already a panting mess beneath him. When he pulls away your hands go to his waistband, fingertips sliding under just a tiny, teasing amount. Harry gets the message and quickly removes his pants, socks, and underwear. Your mouth waters at the sight in front of you.

He gets back on the bed and slides his hands to the last article of clothing covering your body. “Off, please” you say before he can even ask, getting tired of waiting and wanting nothing more than him inside of you.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath as he pulls the material down and off your legs. The smell of your slick becomes more potent, and you swear you hear Harry literally grown as he breaths it in. He moves back up your body and his lips find yours in a needy kiss. His fingers find your entrance and you keen as one slowly pushes inside. You continue to make out and opens you up to ensure you’re ready for him. At the same time, you reach out to grab his hard cock, gently pumping a few times.

Harry pulls away and reaches into the bedside table drawer to pull out a condom. As he’s pulling it on you have a moment of nerves. You’re not a virgin, but it’s been a while. And you’ve never been with an alpha before, and you can see by looking at him that there’s definitely truth about alphas being gifted in the size department.

Sending your new hesitance, Harry says, “Hey, you ok?” You nod, but he doesn’t fully believe you, so he adds, “We don’t have to do this right now. We can stop, or keep doing what we were doing, we don’t need to go all the way.”

“I want to,” you answer. “I want this. I want you. I’ve just never been knotted, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

He nods, expression serious, and says, “We can have sex without me knotting you. Is that what you’d like?”

“I’d like that. But will you feel, you know, satisfied?” The last thing you want is to get pleasure if he’s not getting to feel it with you.

“Trust me, I will be more than satisfied.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? Want to continue?”

“I do,” you confirm with a smile.

He leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. It’s soft, and sweet, a noticeable difference to the intense kisses from earlier. And it works to get rid of the last of your nerves. His hand moves back to your entrance, collecting some of the slick gathered there and coating his cock with it.

Harry continues to kiss you as he lines up and slowly presses inside of you. Once he’s fully inside he pulls back to look at you. Your eyes meet and there’s a moment of connection unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Not only does your body feel full, but your heart does as well.

“Alpha,” you say breathlessly.

“My perfect omega,” he replies.

After giving you a moment to adjust to his size he starts to move. The thrusts are slow at first, but he picks up pace. He grabs your leg to wrap around his hip, and the change in angle has you seeing starts.

It only takes a few minutes before you feel the familiar tingle in your core, and a press of his fingers to your clit send you over the edge. He works you through your orgasm and then pulls out. He removes the condom and wraps his hand around his cock. It only takes a few strokes before his knot expands and he comes, his release coating your chest and belly.

Harry gets up and grabs a towel to clean both of you off. You both get under the covers, and he pulls you to lay on his chest. He checks the clock and sees that it is two minutes past midnight.

“Happy new year, omega,” he says.

“Happy new year, alpha,” you reply as you drift off to sleep, comforted by his arms and the smell of your combined scents.

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AN: Thank you so much for reading! Probably wrapping up this story in a couple of chapters, so let me know if there's anything you might want to see!

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#harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you

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