#so sorry if i get anything wrong here

[fatmaclover]

theres something to be said about how mac still holds such a childish adoration for his parents after such a long time. how literally its shown to us by the fact that

mac always slicked his hair back as a child, when he still had contact with his father

he stops doing this into adulthood, but later in life, once mac interacts with his father again, he starts slicking his hair back again

he doesnt stop. slicking his hair back. until his own father walks out during his coming out performance. the guy he put it on for. only after that does he completely stop styling his hair that way

not to mention the constant refusal that his mom (and dad) could be anything but perfect, the way hes so desperate to do good by them, viewing them as the way to measure his success...

and. yeah thats. something.

the internal denial that his parents treated him poorly, the fact that its his primary instinct to deny that his parents suck, the constant dismissal of his own issues relating to family because his whole life hes been told that "other people have it worse". the way hes internalized that so hard. the way it takes his dad walking out on macs coming out performance to him for mac to stop blindly idolizing some guy whos threatened to kill him

the constant fear of his own father, while also believing him to be the coolest bestest guy ever. the way he always assumes his father is gonna get violent when actually talking to him, but sings nothing but praises when away from him

the fact that he still calls his dad "daddy" even.

i mean you cant really blame him for not fully growing up in some areas huh

its not even that i think he doesnt know that his parents treat him horribly, it just really seems like he wants so badly to believe thats not the case from years of having his cries for help ignored or made fun of. he cant have been treated poorly, because charlie was treated poorly, and his baggage isnt nearly as bad as charlies, so clearly macs home life wasnt bad.

i think thats proven most of all by his frustration with his own family at times, it really feels like theres some underlying issues. they can very quickly manifest as frustration and anger, but honestly its probably mostly sadness. the way he reacts to his own mother really reminds me of how i interact with family members i have grudges with but have to pretend i dont. im not actually angry at any of these people, im mostly just exhausted by them.

he very clearly is still aware of the neglect he faced as a kid, to me. he knows his home life was severely fucked up, hes just never been able to express that, so hes coped by just. pretending that it didnt happen.

and realistically i dont know if he could ever properly acknowledge that his home life was fucked and his parents suck. maybe hed acknowledge that his dad sucks now, but it wouldnt have been that bad when he was a kid and wasnt a fag. right? he was loved then. his mom still did a great job raising him, and he really loves her, and he was raised with all the love and care a child needs.

#iasip spoilies #mac mcdonald #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #mac macdonald #im just rambling here #i wasnt fully conscious for like half of this im sorry if it ever gets incoherent #also still have only watched the first episode of season 14 #so sorry if i get anything wrong here #im just speaking from a post s13 perspective i guess

[northern-passage]

i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself

in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)

which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.

and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….

there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.

#anyways. is this anything #sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble #especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me #cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness #is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention #also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers #that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it #that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding #and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷 #and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically #as in it's only good representation if it represents Me #which sucks. and you're never going to please those people #ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird #this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times #and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project #personal

[elmhat]

.

#I'm just going to have a little stress vent so don't mind me #this has been in the drafts for a while and I wasn't sure if I should post it #but I'm a little terrified of how many people perceive me here now sjdhfjk #I was completely blindsided by how many people signed up for my event #and my posts actually get seen by people now #Real People. who don't just live in a screen #I'm not used to it #don't get me wrong—I'm still a pretty small blog! I don't have a lot of followers! #even so #a decent number of people see whatever I write #and it freaks me out sometimes #I especially don't want to say anything insensitive or dumb #BUT I'm so so grateful for everyone who follows me and listens to my shenanigans #just. sorry if I'm ever weird about anything akjsdh #random elm thoughts

[that-was-anticlimactic]

can we just talk about how kenji has one of the Most tragic abilities in bungou stray dogs??? like. the more i think about it, the more heartbreaking it is.

he's fourteen years old and has an ability people would die/kill for. in s3, chuuya called kenji the ada's "trump card", so it's safe to assume the rest of the port mafia thinks the same way. he is immune to literal bullets, to being whacked in the head by hard metal or pretty much anything, he can easily lift cars above his head as if they were nothing,,,

but only if he's hungry.

if you ignore that last bit, kenji has one of the best powers in the show. and like he still does, but my God. he's fourteen years old. he doesn't think his ability is all that impressive. he doesn't see the issues.

since he has a job, he probably doesn't Really eat lunch, and if he does, it's snacks. but also his job is a part of the armed detective agency. therefore, things happen all the time. who knows how long cases will run, who knows when someone will try to destroy yokohama or the agency or whatever. there's been many times when it's been clear that they've had to work into the night. then we have to ask: does kenji eat dinner? no. probably not. and if he does, he probably just eats a piece of fruit or something small. that way, he doesn't lose his ability. he is the agency's trump card, after all. and he knows how important his power is. i mean, that's one of the reasons he joined ranpo and the others when they went against fukuzawa's orders in s3. it's not explicitly stated, but i'd argue that it's implied. anyways. does kenji eat breakfast? well, i don't think so. why? he sleeps when he eats. why sleep so soon after he just woke up? he has to go to work, anyways. so he can't fall asleep.

so, we've basically established that kenji probably has an extremely unhealthy eating schedule due to his ability. but also,,, what about his sleeping schedule? what kind of relationship does he have with sleep? so, let's say he eats a full meal three times a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. let's say how long he sleeps depends on how much he ate... so let's say that a small snack is no sleep since it's barely anything, just maybe makes him a little physically weaker. and a normal meal is at least an hour. that's at least three hours of sporadic sleep during the day - one of them shortly after he wakes up. but you know what makes that even sadder? what if kenji doesn't sleep at night because of his ability. or, sleep consistently or well? we can assume the agency actually really wants kenji to eat, even if he falls asleep, so on days when he can't get away with not really eating, he sleeps during the day for an unspecified amount of time. his sleep schedule would get so thrown off. also, he was raised on a farm, so we can assume he wakes up really early anyways. maybe early enough to say that there isn't any reason to sleep because he would wake up soon normally anyways.

and... what if kenji can't sleep without eating? what if kenji has to eat to sleep? maybe it wasn't that way when he was younger, but the older he got, the more his body grew to rely on his ability's exception. like... that's just... really sad. this kid is fourteen.

and think about it. the agency is best friends because they are. they'd probably like to go out to lunch or dinner together. i bet half the time at least, kenji wouldn't eat. why? because he'd fall asleep. wouldn't want to ruin the fun. because then they'd have to watch their volume around him or try to wake him up (and i hc that it's really hard to wake him up for like... the first ten minutes after a meal at least - it gets easier the longer he's been asleep or the less he eats). and what if they can't wake him up? then someone would have to carry him back and that's so kind of them but, well, they didn't have to and now kenji feels like a liability or a burden. like he ruined all the fun.

and he works with the armed detective agency. they've got a lot of enemies. he is the trump card. the physically strongest on the team. also the most naive and, objectively, the kindest. oh and one of the two youngest. can you imagine how vulnerable he is when he sleeps? i would imagine the agency wouldn't want him to eat by himself in public for, you know, safety reasons. and that even includes the cafe downstairs. who knows what could happen if kenji fell asleep on his own? and that's probably why he went to eat with atsushi in s1 ep11: he was with atsushi so he could eat out. one of those rare chances. and if an enemy did get to him while he was asleep, he'd be pretty easy to keep out of it: just keep forcing him to eat. shove food in his mouth, force him to swallow. and there you are: you have the armed detective agency's trump card. and kenji knows this.

and the sad thing is? kenji probably doesn't even realize he's having problems. he probably thinks this is normal. something he just has to deal with - and i don't say that in a negative or self-loathing kind of way. a genuine "it's always been like this; i know nothing else" kind of way. he wants to help people: that's why he came to the agency. he couldn't handle not being able to help everyone back home. he needs to be useful, to help. he grew up on a farm: he values hard work a lot - that much is obvious. he feels like he can't help if he eats consistently. he's probably (albeit subconsciously, unknowingly) scared of what would happen if he did eat and sleep consistently. that means he's not useful, right? that means someone will get hurt because of him. he'd rather starve than someone else get hurt. he was given this ability, he has to use it to help people.

tldr: kenji's ability is so interesting and underutilized in the the manga/anime and in the fandom and is so overlooked in angst potential. his ability most likely has ruined his eating and sleeping schedule to the point where he doesn't know anything different and genuinely thinks it's healthy because it's what he's always done, it's what he was blessed with, right? kenji deserves more love in canon and by the fandom <3

#hi i had a breakdown over kenji but what's new #bsd #kenji miyazawa #bsd kenji #no but like am i wrong??? kenji has one of the most tragic abilities in bsd!!! like!!! #not only because he probably definitely has an eating disorder but also because it ruins his ability to sleep like #i just. #ahhhhhhhhhhhhh #he is SO overlooked CONSTANTLY and it makes me SO upset. like. gosh he is such an interesting character and this angst isn't like... #blatant because he genuinely has no idea anything is wrong!!! he thinks it's normal! and it prolly takes the agency awhile to realize oh #frick kenji is Not okay this is Not healthy because kenji genuinely thinks it is because it's all he's ever known #and yes i am writing a fic about this and yes it is like 5k words right now and yes it is still going #i have feelings!!! #if no one will care about kenji then i will!!! #that is a threat!!! #but like guys... come on! he's riGHT THERE!!! and it's SO TRAGIC!!! we love tragedy here right? look at kenjiiiiiiiiiii #sorry feelings have i #it actually gets more and more sad the more i think about it #he is. he is FOURTEEN. #anyways imma go work on the fic tehe???

[kyouka-supremacy]

***

#I've received anon hate from a ss/kk shipper for my unrequited ss/kk beliefs on the basis that ss/kk is canon according to anon and like #You ever in a fandom where it's like. Yeah I guess that might as well happen #“You are clearly wrong about ss/kk” I mean? Okay? I'm not here to be right I'm here to have fun ahah #People are crazy #Besides yesterday's post was written last December but like. It's not like I don't still stand by that. #I would still stand by unrequited ss/kk if they kissed in the manga. BECAUSE IT'S FUN #I kinda want to answer the ask but I have this strict policy of not answering anything mean- #so I need to resort to rant in the tags instead 😔 #I don't know what's about me that attracts so much anon hate tbh. I really wish I'd know #Maybe it's what you get after you hit a certain number of following. Idk. Or maybe it's divine punishment for the crimes I've committed #Anyway. Sorry for delying answering to the other (nicer) asks I've had a raging fever the entire weekend #I'll get answering rn so I'll probably post the answers tomorrow. Sorry for the wait!! #random rambles

[in-omni-scientia]

Do you blue skills have specific activities to bond with each other? Other than arguing.

Of course we do, what sort of a question IS this? You've practically only seen our arguments -- we have plenty of other ways to get along, and *do*. Let's see here...

Personally, I can enjoy a nice, fun game of Scrabble with others here. The only issue is, Conceptualization tends to try to make up their own words to use. Then, when I try to tell them that the words have to be *in the dictionary*, Rhetoric comes in and starts using my own prattling on the roots of different parts of whatever word Conceptualization made up to try and say they'd be *justified*. It always turns into a big argument and honestly I'm just not prepared for that sort of thing. I'd rather play with Empathy; he's always a good games partner to me. Also, I think Drama ate most of the pieces, so we can't play anymore because of that, too. I am very annoyed about that.

Mh. Okay, maybe that one wasn't a great example to start off with. How about this one? Conceptualization and Drama actually had a little thing going briefly where they would organise plays together! Occasionally got me and Visual Calculus involved as well for some extra hands; I could talk at length about ideas for set pieces, Visual Calculus organising the lights... it was fun. Anyways, that didn't last though since they separated due to. Ah. "Creative differences". I understand it was a rather explosive argument, from what I gathered talking to them. When I consulted Conceptualization on the matter, he responded, and I quote: "That intransigent vexing little self-wank-fest of a fucking ball of gloop can't even *hold* a pen let alone understand the nuanced symbolism inherent to all media, they don't even fucking understand basic media literacy God help us all, their ability to write romance is surface-level at best and[...]". You can only imagine how long that continued on for. Anyways, when I asked Drama, all they did was think for a moment before allowing a wry smile to ripple over a great many of their faces, and saying: "Their writing was sub-par and their costuming was ill-fitting". So.

...Aaaalright, not *that* one either. Here, something much simpler, then. I can enjoy a good crossword every now and then, and Logic a Kakuro puzzle (though he much prefers Heyawake and Killer Sudoku), so he suggested collaborating on a neat step up from these, the cross-figure. Well, we *attempted* to collaborate -- I found myself only useful on general knowledge questions, which did not appear often as they are considered beginner, and Logic found beginner puzzles far too easy. So then we tried cryptic crosswords, which I did not find myself very useful in either, since while I may possess plenty of knowledge I don't have the logical capabilities to know when a clue could be referring to that. Then we hopped around cipher and fill-in crosswords, which turned out even *worse*. It culminated in a minor dispute between us where I claimed Logic was only prioritizing his *own* fun, which he argued to be untrue. Not really a fault on his part, in hindsight, and only heated on *my* end as a result of my own feeling of inefficacy... ultimately we agreed to be contented with doing our own puzzles, for now. (Well, aside from Heyawake. I'm *smashing* Heyawake.) Now it's mostly just Visual Calculus arguing with Logic to let *him* do the Kakuro in the fortnightly logic puzzle magazine for once.

Huh. Well, this one's *bound* to be a good example. At one point, Conceptualization was making little locked-room-style mysteries for Logic and Visual Calculus to solve. Full-size rooms they could walk around in -- it was quite impressive to watch them work. Didn't ever take them too long to solve them, but still. It was nice seeing something Conceptualization had asked me about crop up there. *Then* they started writing little honkaku-style mysteries for them, too, to see how fast they could figure out the solution to the crime before the end of the story. By my recommendation, obviously; I thought they would appreciate the rational, chess-like approach to mystery, compared to thriller novels which may not adhere to Van Dine's Commandments as strictly. Conceptualization appreciated it, too; "none of that hard-boiled crap, it's all shit" they said. I think they liked the digressions into criticism of the detective genre as a whole and fourth-wall breaking; Logic liked *all* the pieces being perfectly available and within grasp for a shrewd reader, Visual Calculus liked the heavy use of diagrams and such. Whenever Conceptualization didn't turn one of these diagrams into a three-dimensional playset, Visual Calculus was doing that. Anyways, the dear art snob never could quite seem to get the upper hand in their writing -- the pair were *unstoppable* in their natural disposal towards ratiocination. That is, until it started to get... rather strange. More and more the story would divagate into long-winded social commentary that served no purpose for the narrative (*not* a hallmark of honkaku, mind you), would make the solution increasingly convoluted (Rube Goldberg-type machines aren't out of place in honkaku, but they were getting quite far beyond the reasonable suspension of disbelief for a story within the detective genre), introduce irrational narrative elements such as supernatural phenomena (*also* not a hallmark of honkaku, though can and does crop up in shin honkaku -- I regret convincing the pair to continue giving Conceptualization a chance. The opportunity to grant them knowledge was not worth it, in the end. Come to think of it, that's happened *more* than once, hasn't it? Thinking back to the Moray Eel Incident... mmh). And, well, in hindsight it was an inevitability... but it all came to a boiling point when one such mystery, giving Logic and Visual Calculus quite a lot of grief, concluded *not* with a proper solution, but with a plain metaphor for-- love or capitalism or something ridiculous like that, I don't try to actively remember. The ensuing argument somehow had Logic and Visual Calculus turning against one another, too, despite the fact they were both on the *same side*. Probably had something to do with Drama being their throwing stones, as per usual. And Rhetoric, arguing whatever side they thought would inflame everyone else the most. Also, I was there too. Also, I was turning against Logic and Visual Calculus despite being on *their* side as well. Also, it was Drama and Rhetoric's fault as well. Damn those two. Embarrassing for me... anyways, we're not allowed to write our own mysteries anymore because Harry nearly had a stroke and died.

...

Ah. Maybe *quite a lot* of our pastimes do involve arguing after all.

Perhaps I should stick to who I have already established myself as being able to get along with...

#contains: txt #author/s: me #contains: answers #skillsposting #long post #ooc I am so sorry everyone #didn't expect it to be this long. well. kind of did. but also didn't. uhm #also I hope I didn't get anyone *too* OOC here? v tired right now it's 3am #that's also my excuse if i got any of this information wrong. ESP the bit on puzzles. im so sorry if anything here doesnt add up ves. frown #going to bed lol

[deityofhearts]

I honestly just don’t get how people default to thinking southern accents are like unserious and unintelligent, I know I live in a bubble and I’ve never been outside of the south so like my world view is skewed but like idk I can’t like conceptualize hearing someone’s accent and going “your accent is too stupid and silly for you to have a brain” like ???

#deity dialogue #sorry I’m rlly half asleep #obvs my worldview is different cause I’m southern I’m surrounded by southern ppl I hear the accent all the time #so it’s like normal obvs but idk it still baffles me #idk if I ever go north are y’all gonna be mean to me cause I talk in a way that y’all perceive as stupid and lesser than how you do?? #I’ve already mentioned that even here we aren’t safe from the ‘haha youre a dumbass southern hick’ statements #which is rich cause like bitch who are you to be talking you live here too I don’t wanna hear you call me a red neck cause you’ve been here #for a long ass time to and I’m sure if you went up north they’d be on your ass the same way they’d be on mine #like what gives you the right? #like I will say also that I do make fun of the accent but in the way that lexi and I will be heatedly talking and get more southern with #each word and that amuses and delights us like idk it’s fun to look at someone who just said one word in a more extreme southern accent on #accident and repeat it back to them #but like at the end of the day we like being southern we don’t think there’s anything wrong with it or like inherently worth mocking #plus there’s a difference between two friends being silly and strangers telling you you’re a stupid redneck hick :) #this is also coming from someone who compared to other southern ppl doesn’t have the most strong southern accent (it’s there onvs but ya #know) and I still have to deal with this shit :/ #sorry I need to go to bed and shut up no one caressss

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3 #but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety #that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc #i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting #and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually #and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again... #so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working! #i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again... #and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it. #even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset! #my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time #and i still ran out of episodes... #i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but. #yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now #i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else #and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break #ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional #asks #anon #vent #delete later #and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people #(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly) #(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more #(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do) #(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)

[the-casbah-way]

not to beat a dead horse but jesus christ can you just leave people alone in public bathrooms i just want to fucking piss girl i'm so tired of feeling anxious and trying to avoid using public bathrooms because of how fucking weird cis people are about it. i tried to go into the bathroom at work today (i have worked here for years) and this woman who has worked here for two weeks and doesn't know me laughed and tried to like. steer me in the direction of the men's toilet instead and was like "wrong way!" are you fucking kidding me fuck off

#i have worked in this building for years. i know where the fucking bathroom is #like i'm sorry but cis people just don't want me in any bathroom at this point. i can't fucking win #i'm not kidding you i didn't really think that people in real life would actually make a fuss over who is in the bathroom #but at uni specifically i have had A LOT of people in the womens bathroom awkwardly tell me “uh i think you're in the wrong bathroom haha” #they're not even doing it in an antagonistic way it's like they genuinely think i've walked into the wrong one #and it makes ME feel like a creep or like i've done something wrong #like you guys are the ones that insist i should be in this bathroom !!!! but then i go in there and get told i'm in the wrong one !!!! #it's one of the few things that never fails to make me feel anxious and sad because it's a fucking bathroom it shouldn't be a big deal #why am i being made to feel like i've done something wrong when i'm just trying to exist here like everyone else #and you know what. it doesn't matter how i identify right. because i've actually done nothing to intentionally masculanise my appearance #like the entire time i've been out. i had short hair before i came out and i dressed this way before i came out #i have not done anything to try and Look Like A Man or Look Cis. i just have masc bone structure NATURALLY #so for all you know i could just be a woman with short hair ????? and you're telling me i don't belong in here because of that ?? #like sure i'm NOT a woman with short hair but my point is you literally cannot tell the difference #so just leave people alone

[edns]

02. Blossom!

Thank you! I may have gone a little too ham with this... But enjoy! I'm a little rusty with writing and also I did this quickly so it might not be my best work but I had fun ^_^ P.S. I Swear I tried to write something cute or funny but I think I am physically incapable of making it weird or sad lol

It wasn’t often that the flower vendor passed by Garreg Mach these days, her good being greatly varied — from lush greens for a garden and potted plants to flower bouquets. As Dimitri took a stroll down the market, he was painfully aware of all the eyes on him… All this time, up until Rodrigue’s death, he had been looking away from them all, when they turned to him for help. Looking around the market, his attention first drifted to the armory. He went to check whether there was anything new there, when a thought passed by his mind.

He probably should have given a gift to the person who cared for him deeply, but got pushed away. Cyrus Lenz, the person who nursed him back to health when Dimitri lost his eye — he made it very hard to tell if he cared or not. Ever since Dimitri reunited with his used-to-be classmates and the Professor, Cyrus had been distant, spending most of his free time training and sparring with other sword fighters. However, Dimitri had seen him fight in the battle at Gronder Field, which made it clear as day that Cyrus still cared, deeply. Putting one’s life on the line was a Faerghan way to say that, after all…

Heaving a sigh, Dimitri perused the armory. The vendor started to fuss as soon as he recognized him.

“We have a new collection of swords and daggers available, Your Highness,” the vendor smiled. “They’re all a valuable find. Surely you would be interested.”

“Are they, now…”

Dimitri rubbed his chin in thought, as his mind wandered… Should he give one of such daggers to Cyrus? At first, this seemed like a great idea, but then he remembered the amount of times everyone made fun of him for giving a dagger as a gift to someone else he cared about… His mind wandered to that person, rage flashing in his eye for a brief moment.

Squeezing his eye shut, Dimitri turned away from the store he was browsing… Only to be met with a pleasant floral aroma. He opened his eye, and saw an abundance of colors. He found himself wandering towards the store. He touched one of the flowers as gently as he could — a rose. Its petals were soft, smooth… It soothed Dimitri. For some reason, it reminded him of Cyrus. The rage on his face was replaced with a soft smile.

“It’s not often I see a warrior such as yourself enjoy flowers,” the flower vendor grinned; she didn’t seem to recognize Dimitri as the Prince yet. Perhaps she was new around here…

“Do I really have an exterior of someone who would not appreciate their beauty?” Dimitri smiled; the lack of formality was also comforting. He picked up the rose flower by its stem, only to feel the sting of a thorn… He pulled his hand away and noticed his thumb bleeding.

“That’s roses for you,” the vendor looked at the rose flowers standing neatly in a vase full of water. “They’re beautiful, but they also sting… And they wilt so quickly.”

Those words etched themselves in Dimitri’s mind. He stood there, his eye jumping between the blossom and the cut in his already scarred hand.

“What is one more wound for me? As you said, I am a man of war. I can take the thorns.” He took the rose again, this time avoiding the thorns, and looked at it up close. With a deep sigh, he touched the soft petals again, an almost pained smile on his face.

“Are you thinking about the rose right now, Dimitri?” The vendor gave him a smirk as the question startled the prince enough to make him look up from the flower. “Or about someone you know?”

Dimitri couldn’t answer, even though his heart desperately wanted to. He stood there, still staring at the rose with a furrowed brow, but it wasn’t rage that was clouding his mind this time.

“If it really reminds you of them, you should give this flower to them. It’s on the house.”

“… No, I can afford to-”

As Dimitri looked up, he found himself standing in a lonely corner of the marketplace, in front of a bush of roses that just happened to bloom there. It wasn’t the first time something of the sort happened to him, causing him to wander off somewhere or speak to people who weren’t truly there, but usually it wasn’t something this… pleasant, so to speak.

After rotating the rose in his hand for a good minute, Dimitri turned around to leave the marketplace with it… Only to see Cyrus before him.

“Your Highness…” Cyrus looked worn out, his voice monotone and quiet, but concern still showed through his seemingly cold expression. Through the thorns…

Dimitri couldn’t bring himself to say anything, and instead just handed Cyrus the rose blossom, his heart aching as he hoped the other man would accept it. Taking the rose, Cyrus, for some reason, didn’t even look shocked… But he did smile.

“I only wish for you to know that I… Appreciate your efforts in battle,” Dimitri blurted after a minute of silence.

“You don’t exactly give people roses for that,” Cyrus sighed, deep sadness returning to his eyes after the brief respite of a smile. “However, I will continue giving my best efforts. Thank you, Your Highness.”

Saying that, Cyrus turned and left the marketplace promptly, leaving Dimitri alone, his palms stinging with pain as he realized that the cuts were plenty, instead of just one.

Perhaps a weapon truly would make a better gift in this case.

#fe3h oc #oc cyrus bartholomew lenz #Sorry Im not putting any of these in the main fandom tags......It is just silly writing exercises #I feel like I have to make this disclaimer before someone takes this the wrong way but I do not ship Anything but my cringe oc x canon ship #Also I feel there is a Lot of context missing here that is just. In My Brain. I guess it's like my little comics! Gotta piece it together #Anyway I really had a blast with this one thank you for sending it in! #I will get to the other rqs either tmrw or after the weekend! #Again I wanted to draw a nice little illust with this but ahhh this wouldve taken me too long so. Yeagh #writing

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i think a lot of people tend to forget that kindaichi is an instigator and can be kind of a snappy lil shit and jumps into saying things he doesn’t mean and is not actually a total angel who has never done anything wrong ever

#kindaichi yuutarou #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #sou says stuff #(putting these first this time bc. OOOH boy) #sorry i got told ‘it’s insane to think kindaichi could even be remotely in the wrong for what happened in middle school’ #but like here’s the thing it’s not that i think he did something WRONG necessarily #i think he did what he felt like he had to do even if what he had to do was kind of an asshole move and it hurt kageyama #and that was the point!!!! it had to hurt kageyama!!! or else nothing would have changed!!! #but nonetheless he hurt kageyama and kageyama hurt him and that was something they both had to overcome and learn to grow from #bc that’s what haikyuu is about #there is not a single character who doesn’t grow and change and get better #we either see them actively do so or we see them start on the path of doing so #and to say kindaichi didn’t DO anything is i think very dismissive of his growth and what he had to go through #in regards to his relationship with kageyama #bc he was always ALWAYS making active choices #and when he told kageyama to not apologize??? not say anything?? #i think he meant for that to go BOTH ways #'if you don't say sorry i won't say sorry' #they've always been a two-way street!!! #kageyama cared and kindaichi cared and the problem was that they couldn't figure out how to show it so the way it came out clashed IMMENSEL #and that's the tragedy of it. that's what went wrong. they hurt each other and they had to figure out where to go from there #and how to change and learn and grow #okay i'm done thanks all going to go eat with a friend <3333

[quirkle2]

THAT GORE IS SOOOO GOOD!! PEAK WRITING IF YOU ASK ME TBH (i love feral zombie mobu, he has my heart) will you be publishing your zombie au oneshots on ao3 or just here on tumblr?

also one last question (or not. >:D), how was zombie mob's dynamic/relationship with tome tho? i assume in this au that they didn't know each other before mob got turned? did they form some sort of relationship in a way that he eventually start to recognize her? or did mob stayed seeing her only as a stranger :o

- 🪻 (i think i'm just gonna go by this emoji from now :3)

WAHHHH TY SM,,,

ill prolly just stuck to tumblr for the one shots! i usually like to stick to longer stuff for ao3, so tumblr it is

and yes, mob Does grow to recognize tome as a friend instead of a stranger! it's a bit of a weird dynamic at first, bc when tome meets ritsu, the boys r separated. ritsu is adamant that zombie mob isnt violent, but tome begs to differ...

when tome led mob away from ritsu so she could get him back to the settlement, she ended up tying him to a random utility pole w rope from ritsu's bag she totally rifled through. in any other circumstance she'd prolly just let the patrol guards kill him, but mob is the one that got her attention and Led her to a sick ritsu, and she finds that they're traveling together.. (their labeled water bottles in ritsu's bag is the biggest sign; saliva can infect u so ritsu has to be careful abt not drinking after mob) this zombie is Behaving Strangely and tome is too curious abt this wack ass setup they've got goin to just,, let this zombie die or wander off. the only method she has of keeping him in one place is to tie him somewhere :/

zombie mob doesnt seem to rly care at first, he's just worried abt ritsu, but then when tome doesnt come back for a bit ??? the next morning when she returns (with food and water for him !) he is vicious toward her. he cant do anything tied up like he is, but he's constantly snapping his teeth at her, hissing and spitting and snarling, and trying to wiggle free

all that mob knows if that he tried to get help from this girl, ritsu is gone now, and he's tied to a pole. that pisses him off and all his addled brain can rly process is that ritsu is In Danger somewhere he cant get to. and in tome's perspective, this strange kid she saved has been traveling with a fucking demon, but somehow isnt infected.they checked. he's miraculously not

when ritsu is well enough to hold a convo, tome tells him she has his zombie friend safe somewhere, bc even in his delirium ritsu was mumbling abt his brother (tome voice ah! they're brothers... inchresting i see the resemblance if i remove the horrid eyebags from mob's face). ritsu says mob is an extremely docile zombie by default. tome says he's literally one of the most vicious ones she's ever seen. neither of them believe each other and ritsu is convinced she has the wrong zombie and that mob is still out there somewhere, wandering the settlement grounds just Asking for a patrol to kill him

when ritsu is better, she sneaks him outta the settlement to see his brother. as soon as tome comes around the corner of mob's sad little Utility Pole home he gets riled up and starts snarling, but when another figure follows behind her, he Instantly settles. he sees ritsu's face, still a bit pale but otherwise alive, and every alarm bell in mob's head is cleared and he relaxes like a switch in him was flipped

ritsu saw that viciousness for a split second tho, and is Shocked by it. nevertheless ritsu is so relieved he's okay, so he basically rushes at mob and envelopes him in a Hug and tome watches this, kinda stunned. the way his brother instantly settles in the hold ?? maybe ritsu Was right, in his eyes... maybe being around ritsu just calms mob down, so ritsu's only seen his tame side

tome joins the gang after that (her joining might seem strange, given she hasnt much of a motive, but trust me, for tome, getting to study this enigma of a dynamic is basically her dream. also she has a backstory that motivates her more but im not getting into that now). and it's very odd how mob seems to,,, be largely ok w her now ?

she thought it'd be difficult, given his obvious hatred of her after their first meeting, but it seems that her eventually bringing back ritsu erased most of the distrust there. he's typically pretty cool w her around; the only times he gets testy is when she shoves ritsu around when they're bullying each other. after all this time of walking w a gentle ritsu alone, mob doesnt rly know the difference between fun roughhousing and actually hurting each other, so he typically growls at her lowly until she stops

later on in the journey, he shows genuine trust in tome, particularly after moments where she saves him or ritsu from getting shot. and way later on, when tome is in trouble, mob even attacks another zombie to keep them away from her

eventually he sees her as part of the gang, and tome sees him as less of a Vicious Monster and more of what he actually is; somebody's brother that is sick, and is one of the only zombies in existence that is actually being taken care of and accommodated for

#qktalks #anon #zombie au #for a while tome thinks ritsu is just fucking crazy #and . yaknow she's not Wrong #but after a while of traveling w him... she sees how much ritsu loves mob. and she starts to Get it #ritsu is so patient and gentle w him.he gets frustrated obviously everybody does but #most of the time he's just as nice as he's always been to mob. and he doesnt treat him any lesser #it's So different than Anything tome has ever seen. she's used to people killing zombies ruthlessly #and that's not due to a lack of ruthlessness on ritsu's part. tome is Very sure of that #ritsu is very much capable of displaying extreme violence. he just saves his wild moments for the uninfected #sorry i rambled a bit here. also ty for the ask i had a bit of a shitty day and this brightened it a lil :]

[senseiwu]

The REAL "theydeservedbetter"shipping

#in WHAT WORLD does THAT MAN deserve 'better' than misako? #shes the one that deserved better LMAO? #why would koko leave her husband but be okay with him when hes done WORSE #this ship and the goddamn NAME make me so bloody angry #he didnt deserve her sorry #he didnt treat her right #like. have you HEARD the things shes said about him??? maam are you OKAY??? #'i was married to him once im up for anything' MAAM WHAT RHE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN #not to mention. 'i wont let you get away from me again misako' 🤢 #the hate for this poor woman is INSANE. #if anyone in that relationship deserved better. it was her. #and dont try and come at me calling me a hypocrite or anything. that mans name isnt mentioned. nothing here is tagged. THAT is my problem. #when people TAG NEGATIVE POSTS WITH THE MAIN TAGS #what is WRONG WITH YOU

[poisonouspastels]

#i figured this would be better suited for a separate post continuing from here #I've had people get angry at me for giving Steve a proper strongman build - thus making him fat and muscular in the process #ive gotten people mad at me for making him his direct colorpicked skin tone. got told I made him ''the wrong color'' for it #got called slurs #got told i need to just ''take a joke'' when im getting right fully angry at people telling me im wrong for making his AU design that way #been quite literally told our art looks ''ugly as hell'' when people ran out of bigoted arguments #its all just getting really hard and really tiring to keep doing what i love when everyone is vocal about hating it #and very few people are vocal about liking it #i do art for me dont get me wrong. and people have been supportive. #but i cant help but wonder if anyone would have even cared about the mega ref at all if it hadn't been surrounded by people full of hate #its just hard to stay motivated and put my all into something that's gotten so much backlash for stupid reasons you know #i've been putting so much love into my work surrounding this AU lately. my writing and my art. for over the past year now #i try not to ask anything in return other than for people to just pay attention to it at all. give it a reblog #but the one time we have something out of it become popular its because people are stupid and bigoted #i dont care about numbers this isnt about that. i just care about returning the passion i put into the world. #if anyone wants to send anything my way feel free. i could use it #sorry for venting

[daz4i]

how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭 #i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that? #'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way? #'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that. #i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer. #so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤) #also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

[ribbonpinky-art]

want to cry!!!!!! fatphobia makes me want to cry so hard

a cute pic of Seiran and chubby Ringo, then boom next panel Seiran is making Ringo do situps whilst poking her belly. stabbed straight into my heart

#its so fkcing hard being triggered by smth so inescapable #also good on yall for making seiran a fatphobic piece of shit. is that cute and funny to you? what is the appeal here? #its cause u hate us right? ik that. we dont have the right to exist in a not-thin form ik that youd do anything to make us dissapear #if i had a friend that made me try to lose weight.. if they told me my body looked bad.. they would simply not be my friend #im so sorry. im very sad and angry and hurt hurt hurt #here come the waterworks wheeeeee #unfollowed the person i saw it from... i cant stay around ppl like that even if theyre friends w my friends #i cant do this. and mirrin warned me itll get so much worse due to new years resolutions. im so sad. i cant take it #pls make it stop pls let us just exist we are not bad or wrong for existing #fuck should i put trigger warnings.... #tw fatphobia #tw body shaming #idk what else to put #god its so much more that body shaming. its abuse. its oppression. discrimination. cruelty on a global scale