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#sober Becca is too shy to say that she’s struggling a lot right now
harmonizewithechoes · 5 months
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#so it’s late and I’m intoxicated and interested in sharing a secret that sober me would prefer I not share#but she needs to be more vulnerable and right now in this time the alcohol helps#just as a precursor- I’m a lightweight so I really haven’t had that much and I’ll be fine in the morning and also#my partner has a weird schedule and once or twice a week we like to have a drink or two and play video games or watch a show together#lately it’s been baldurs gate but tonight it’s coop stardew#anywayyyy~#sober Becca is too shy to say that she’s struggling a lot right now#I’ve been hiding myself away for a LOT of reasons for quite a while now and focusing on being the best mother/partner/homemaker I can be#but this has been detrimental to my friendships and spiritual life#as far as friendships go I feel like since I haven’t had the capability to be a really good friend to anyone since everything happened with#happened with dad*#that I shouldn’t be allowed to have friends at ALL#because if I can’t put 100% effort into my friendships even when I’m struggling I don’t deserve friends at all#but I have 3 very little kids and I’m pouring every last ounce I have into them#so maybe I can kind of have a pass and maybe I can have a friend sometimes?#as a treat?#because I love my family very much but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a person within the family#especially during the holidays I feel like I’m merely playing the role of ‘mother’#idk…#this is rambly and doesn’t make a ton of sense#basically I’m wondering if I’m allowed to be lonely sometimes because being a mom is hard and lonely#or if I have to suck it up and wait until my kids are older to get to be a full person outside of them again#btw- this has nothing to do with them#my kids are my sunshine on the most cloudy day#they are so beautiful and wonderful and I am so happy I get to know them and guide them in life#it truly is a privilege#apparently I’m too long winded lol I just started talking about each of my children and what I adore about them#but it was too many tags and tumblr said no lol#oh well jsyk I’m crying rn because they are my pride and joy and even if I never have another friend again they are so so worth it
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Folklore [song series]
the 1
Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x OC!Reader
Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s relationship throughout the years.
Word count: 2404
Warnings: smut implied, loss of virginity implied, mention of alcohol abuse, mention of abandonment
Previous part
Series Masterlist
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Age: 26
Year: 2020
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Elizabeth sat on the floor of her mostly empty childhood bedroom. She hasn't been back since Christmas, and that was almost 8 months ago. Her parents called her last month letting her know they are putting the house up for sale, deciding to move to a cottage upstate where it's much quieter.
They had asked if she wanted them to pack up her old bedroom for her, but she told them she would make the trip out to them to spare any storage space the stuff might take up, knowing that only a few special items would need to be kept.
She was sat on the floor going through old photos, the last thing she had to do before she would be done.
Photos from the time she spent here. A pile for which photos she will take back home, and a pile that her parents will keep. She was finally down to the last three photos, all flipped over on their back.
The first one scribbled in her mother's handwriting read:
Steve, Betty, & James. Halloween 2001.
She shakes her head at the nickname, she hasn't been called Betty in almost a decade. The nickname was tarnished, no longer having any special meaning.
She really should've kept it only for family.
She flipped the photo over. There was seven year-old Elizabeth, standing in between a young Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes both had their arms draped around her shoulders. All dressed up as pirates.
She smiled at the memory.
So young. So innocent. So unknowing of what the future held.
She focuses mostly on the boy to her right.
James Buchanan Barnes.
Her first friend here. Her first best friend. Her first kiss.
Her first boyfriend. Her first time having sex. Her first heartbreak.
The boy at the time she didn't know would completely change not only her life, but who she was.
Her first best friend here, she immediately thinks of their first meeting. So kind. Him insisting on teaching her how to ride a bike. Took him two weeks but he did it. That halloween was a memorable one, for both good and bad reasons.
She saw a different side of Bucky after seeing first-hand how his father behaved, due to his alcoholism.
Years later Elizabeth had learned Bucky's father's deepest secret, he had struggled with alcoholism, starting two years before her family moved across the street. It was a secret his family had kept until that Halloween weekend in 2001.
Bucky and his family had spent the weekend with Elizabeth's family, while his uncles came to take his dad away. His father went to go live with Bucky's grandmother and uncles to try and get sober. He returned home after three months, but sadly the disease was a lot stronger than that. His father was fighting a long battle that he was sadly losing.
After a grueling year his mother made the ultimate decision to divorce his father, not wanting to put herself or her children through the dangers once again. Bucky's maternal grandparents moved in to help his now single mother out, seeing as his father was no longer in the picture.
His dad would pop in from time to time never consistent with his visits, after Bucky turned 13 and Becca 10, his dad stopped coming around all together.
His father ended up meeting a woman who helped him get sober, they later on got married and started a new family of their own. Forgetting about the one he had abandoned.
The next photo was dated:
Summer of 2008.
The summer right before they started high school. That was the summer that they all reached peak puberty. Bucky and Steve shot up like weeds, while Elizabeth grew slightly in height. They no longer looked like the pre-pubescent tweens, and officially looked teenagers embarking on their first year of high school.
It was a candid photo of Bucky and Elizabeth at an end of summer party Steve had at his house.
The night of their first kiss together, and Elizabeth's first kiss in general.
It wasn't a cliche kiss that happened because a game of spin the bottle. It was a little more private than that.
Bucky and Elizabeth made their way back home on that cool summer night. The nights had just started to get cooler as the months made the transition from August to September.
"Do you think Steve knows how obvious he's making his crush on Peggy is?" Elizabeth asks breaking the silence of the walk.
"Probably not, I mean the punk is way to oblivious to notice that Peggy also has a crush on him," Bucky laughs, "Plus he's too chicken to even make a move."
"He's just shy," Elizabeth smiles, trying to defend her other best friend.
"Well he isn't going to get the girl by being shy," Bucky says.
"That's what you think," she winks at him.
"What do you know?" he asks her with an accusatory tone.
"That Peggy is going to ask him to go to the movies tomorrow night," Elizabeth recalled from her earlier conversation with Peggy, "That's why she stayed to help cleanup."
"Well then, I stand corrected," he bows his head.
"We should do that," Bucky says after a few moments of silence as they round the corner their houses now in sight.
"Help clean Steve's house?" Elizabeth asked confused.
"No, go to the movies."
"We already do that."
"I meant just us two, no Steve or Rebecca to tag along," Bucky reiterates.
"Like a date," he quietly says looking at his hands.
"Oh," it dawns on Elizabeth.
She felt a blush creep on her cheeks. The cool breeze not helping the warmth spreading throughout her face.
Elizabeth has had a crush on Bucky for as long as she can remember. She just always thought he would never see her in that light. Compared to the girls he's used to liking, she was the polar opposite. Her skin wasn't as pale as their's, she had what her mother called a "Puerto Rican" tan due to where her family lineage is originally from. Her dark curls were always everywhere, even when she had them contained. It's not like she stood out per se, they were surrounded by diversity. She just didn't look like the girls Bucky had a crush on.
"You want to go out on a date, with me?" she hesitantly asks.
"Yeah, I do," he smiles finally looking up to meet her eyes.
"Why?"
"Because I like you," he says confused why she would ask that.
"It's okay if you don't want to, I understand," he quickly says when she doesn't say anything. He goes back to looking down and kicking at invisible rocks.
"No," she says grabbing his hand, making them both stop in front of her house, "I do want that."
Bucky looks back up taken back by her response, "Really?"
"Yeah, I would love to go on a date with you," she smiled so big.
"Okay, wow. Cool," Bucky stumbles over his words, his smile matching her's.
"Tomorrow, you and I will go to the movies," he says, squeezing his hand that was still being held by her.
"Perfect."
"Perfect," he whispered staring in her eyes, he glanced down to her lips then back to her eyes.
Elizabeth noticed bucking glancing at her lips, she couldn't help herself and do the same thing.
Bucky grabbed her other hand as he slowly pulled her closer to his body. Leaning his head slightly down. Both closed their eyes and slowly met each other half way, their lips touching in a soft kiss.
What felt like hours, but was only seconds they pulled away slowly. Smiles gracing their faces.
"I'll call you tomorrow for the details," Bucky says.
"Okay. Goodnight," Elizabeth says, still holding onto Bucky's hands.
"Goodnight," Bucky smiles, letting go of her hands before jogging across the street.
Elizabeth had walked up to her porch and turned around to see Bucky turning around from his own porch. She waved and he waved back, their final goodbye for the night.
That was the perfect end to the summer before they had started high school. It was the start of something new and beautiful.
The last photo read:
Winnie and Keith's wedding. 11 Aug. 2010.
She flipped it over to see her and Bucky smiling dressed in formal attire, next to Steve and Peggy.
Bucky's mom did later remarry while they were in high school. She had met a lovely man named Keith, who loved her deeply and her children as if they were his own. He was a good man, someone Bucky really needed in his life.
The photo was taken during the reception. Bright smiles across all of their 16 year old faces.
Both couples had been dating for two years at that point and things were going great.
The smiles showcased how happy they all were. Probably had to do with what they all had planned after the wedding.
They had all convinced their parents into letting them stay at the hotel the reception was at that night, and Bucky would drive them all back home the following day. Their parents had agreed, the only rule is that the girls would stay in a room separately from the boys.
What they know wouldn't hurt them, right?
It was the night they were all planning on losing their virginity. Their hormones were racing, trying to keep it contained as to not draw attention to themselves:
After the wedding they all walked up to the floor they would be staying at. Bucky waited outside the girls' door as Elizabeth gathered her overnight bag, and Steve doing the same from the boys' room.
She walked out with her bag on her shoulder, and a smile on her face.
"Ready?" he asked, grabbing her bag from her shoulder.
"Yeah," she nodded, feeling the nerves start.
Steve walked up to them with his own bag, "See you guys in the morning," he smiled before walking into the room, closing the door behind him.
Elizabeth could remember that night clearly. She had done a lot of prep beforehand, being an overachiever she needed to know what she was getting herself into. But nothing could prepare her for what had really happened.
It was filled with a lot of stumbling, awkward touches here and there. Both new to this sex thing. She's not going to lie and said it didn't hurt, she had prepared herself for it hurting. It wasn't the best sex she's had, but it was a moment she wouldn't forget.
After they were done they were cuddled in bed, Elizabeth's head resting on Bucky's chest as he smoothly raked his fingers across her arm.
"11:11, make a wish," Elizabeth whispered, closing her eyes.
"What'd you wish for?" Bucky asked.
"How many times do I have to tell you," she said, turning her body to lean on his chest to come face to face with him, "I can't tell you what I wish for, otherwise it won't come true."
"And how many times do I have to tell you, that that's not true," he teased.
"Well, you have yet to prove me wrong," she smiled.
"Come on, just this once."
"You," she stated, feeling the blush creep on her cheeks.
"What about me?"
"I wished for you," she says, "You and I. For us to have many more moments like this."
"Well doll, your wish is my command," he joked.
"I'm serious Bucky."
"So am I," his tone getting serious, "I love you Betty. It's you and me. Forever."
"Promise?" she held up her pinky.
"Promise." he linked his with hers.
They trusted each other. They were comfortable with each other. They had loved each other. And honestly that's all that mattered.
Now as an adult she realized how important your first time was. It was important that her first time was with Bucky, because she never regretted until she had.
She had really thought Bucky was the one. They would always talk about their futures together. What college they would attend together. When they would get married. Where they would live. How many kids they would have. All of it they had planned together. A future that didn't seem like just a dream.
Sadly with every first love comes every first heartbreak.
Her grandmother once told her that the greatest loves of all time were over now.
She had thought that when her relationship with Bucky had ended.
It truly felt like the end of the world. Like any breakup at that age felt like. She had sworn she would never feel love again. Her mother, Caterina telling her to just wait and see.
Caterina didn't believe in her own mother's words about greatest loves being over, because she was experiencing her's. She promised Elizabeth that she would experience her greatest love story when the time was right.
At the time Elizabeth didn't believe her mother. How could she when her heart was aching.
But like all the times before, her mother would be right.
She looked at  the last three photos in her hands. Without a second thought she placed the Halloween photo in the take pile and the other two in the parents' pile.
A soft knock on the door frame startled her, she looked behind to find the man she has called her's for the last few years. Her greatest love.
She couldn't help the smile that came across her face whenever she would see him.
"Ready?" he asks, a smile upon his face, as he leans up against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest.
"Yeah, let me just put these back in the box for my parents," she tells him cleaning up the photos and taking the ones she kept for herself.
"Look at this one I found," she says showing him the Halloween photo.
"Oh my gosh, we were so little," he smiles and laughs lightly raising his arm for her to go under, "Gosh I was such a dork."
"Was?" she playfully jokes, wrapping her arm around his waist and snuggling into his side as they head towards the stairs in each other's arms.
"Hey you fell in love with this dork," he jokes back.
"And I wouldn't have it any other way Steve," she smiles leaning up to kiss his lips.
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ofstarsandvibranium · 5 years
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My Wonderful Girl
Fandom: Marvel (Biker AU)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: After the failed meeting with you and Bucky’s friends, you decide to have a do-over. You invite Bucky and his friends to your place for dinner….limiting the alcohol.
Part 1: My Drunk Girl | Part 2: My Sober Girl
A/N: I like how this unintentionally became a three-part series. oops.
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Your knee was bouncing at a very fast rate as Bucky drove you two to his mom’s place in Brooklyn. You stared out the window of Bucky’s 1982 Chevy truck that once belonged to his dad. Your head whipped to your left, Bucky’s eyes glancing back at you, the feeling of his hand on your now stilled knee, “Hm?”
“Don’t be nervous.”
You snorted, “Whaaat? Me? Nervous? Psh! Yeah right!”
He rolled his eyes, “You’re always gettin’ nervous about meeting the important people in my life and it always goes without a hitch! Everyone loves you, doll. My ma and sister will too!”
“But what if they think I’m some floozy or stupid or no good or-”
“Hey,” Bucky put the car in park, and grabbed both your hands in his, “They won’t think that. They already know how amazing, smart, funny, and beautiful you are because you’re all I talk about to them.” he kisses both the back of your hands, “Everything will be okay.”
“Bucky!!” you turned to see that you were parked in front of a house. Standing in the doorway was a young woman who looked like the female version of Bucky. She waved her arms in the air excitedly.
Bucky chuckled, “Here we go. We got this, sweetheart. You got this.” he hopped out of the truck, the door squeaking as it swung open and closed with a slam. He helped you out of the truck, offering his hand out to you like the gentleman he was. Don’t let the leather jacket fool you, Bucky Barnes was no heathen. 
You laced your fingers with Bucky, squeezing his hand tight. With a reassuring smile, you both walk up the stoned path and to the doorway where the female Bucky waited for you.
“Hey, Becca,” Bucky said as he hugged the woman, “Bec, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is my younger sister Rebecca.”
You give a shy and timid wave, “Hi, Rebecca, it’s-oomf!” 
Rebecca threw her arms around you giving you a nice, tight hug, “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N! Bucky never shuts up about you!” She pulls away, a big smile on her face, “Oh and sorry. I’m a hugger.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yeah, I gathered that.”
She grabbed your hand, pulling you away from Bucky, “Now c’mon! Ma’s been so anxious on meeting you!” She pulls you further into the house.
Bucky just snickers as he closes the door behind him, following the two of you to see his mom. He enters the kitchen just seconds after you to see his mom’s hands on your face.
“Look at you! You’re gorgeous!”
You give a nervous laugh, “Oh, haha, thanks, Mrs. Barnes.”
“Oh, please, call me Winnie! And take a seat!” You sit at the kitchen table where the food is already cooked and ready to eat, “James Buchanan Barnes! Get over here and give your mother a kiss!”
You giggle when you see a blush form on Bucky’s cheeks, “Hey, ma.” Winnifred Barnes plants several kisses on the cheeks of her son before nudging him towards the seat besides you, “Honestly, Y/N, you have to tell me what spell you used to capture the heart of my boy. You’re all he talks about now.”
Your couldn’t help but snort, “I don’t think it was a spell, ma’am, moreso of me having the guts to put him in his place.”
Becca and Winnifred look to Bucky who’s smirking like crazy. He gives a shrug and a nod, “It’s true. Nearly hit her with my bike and I got quite the earful from her.”
Rebecca threw her head back with a cackle, “I think that’s well deserved, don’t you, ma?”
Winnie chuckled, “I agree. I told you to be careful on that bike of yours, James Buchanan.”
“I know, I know, but hey, it landed it the most wonderful girl in the world,” he says with a proud smile as he puts and arm around you.
You lean into his embrace, “And don’t forget that this wonderful girl can kick your butt.”
“No doubt about it, baby.” Bucky presses a kiss to your temple, which makes Winnie and Rebecca swoon.
“Ugh. You guys are great together. I haven’t seen Bucky this crazy about someone in forever.” Rebecca says with a teasing tone.
Bucky rolls his eyes, “Lay off it, Becca.”
“Make me, Bucket Head!”
Winnifred clears her throat, a scolding look on her face. Both her children immediately say in unison, “Sorry, ma.” which makes you burst into giggles.
“I’m assuming that happens a lot?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe. They’re grown adults and they still act like they’re teenagers.”
“It keeps you young,” Rebecca says jokingly.
Winnie nods, “Yeah, it does.”
Bucky clears his throat and then excuses himself to the bathroom, thus allowing his mother and sister to have some alone time with you. 
They immediately badgered you with questions when they heard the door to the bathroom shut. What you did, every detail about how exactly you and Bucky met, when he asked you to be his girl, details about your family, etc.
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When Bucky was done with his business and neared the question, his ears perked at the sound of your laughter. 
“-it was so embarrassing! But then Bucky invited everyone to my place the next night for dinner so I can have a re-introduction. It was great. I was able to spend some time with Steve, he’s amazing. They’re all amazing and I’m so glad they’ve accepted me as part of their group.”
Bucky heard the chair squeak along the floor, and his mother’s tone was a little more serious, “Y/N, please be honest with me, are you in love Bucky?” his breathing hitched at the question. He silently cursed his mom for throwing that at you so suddenly. When he heard you sigh, he held his breath.
“I think it’s a bit too soon to be feeling that way. We’ve only been together for a few months, but I think I’m falling in love with him, yeah. Winnie, I don’t know what it is about your son that just makes me feel so...safe and cared for. I mean, when I look at him, I feel at ease. I feel at home. Your son is very special.”
Bucky heard his mom chuckle, “He’s not the only one who’s special, Y/N. Bucky...he’s gone through a lot. With losing his father and taking the roll of man of the house, trying to help me out while having his own personal struggles I don’t know about...what I’m trying to say is that I haven’t seen my son truly happy in so long. You’ve done that. Whenever he brings you up in conversation, he has this liveliness to him. It’s so great to see.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he hears Becca say, “Buck’s been a dark place for a long time. I think you’re the one who’s pulled him out and, my ma and I are so thankful that you’re there for him.”
“You think he’s in love with me too?” you asked hopefully and curiously.
Winnifred snorts, “Honey, I know for a fact he is, but just give him time to say it. He’s not too good with his words.” Bucky hears Rebecca laugh and he’s sure it’s time to step in. 
He rounds into the kitchen, a soft smile on his face, “So, what I miss?”
You shrug, “Nothin’ much. Just girl talk.”
“Yeah?” he asks, staring into your eyes, you could see the shining that his mother and sister were talking about.
“Yeah.”
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On the way back to Bucky’s place, you were cuddled up into his side, his black leather jacket keeping you warm.
“So...I think tonight was a success,” he says, eyes still on the road, but one arm wrapped around you.
You hummed, “I think so too,” you tilt your head up to look at him, “Your mom and sister are great. I really enjoyed dinner with him.”
“They did too. Ma wants me to bring you around for dinner at least once a month.”
“I’d like that,” you say with a content smile.
“I would too,” he presses a kiss to your head, “You truly are the most wonderful girl in the world, you know that? And you really did help pull me out of a dark time in my life.”
“You heard all that?” you look up at him, your anxiety creeping up on you.
“Yeah, and, for the record, I’m most definitely falling in love with you too.” he glances your way, a blissful smile on his face.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, ‘cause all of your friends and family love me so there’s no getting rid of me now.”
Bucky chuckled as he pulled you in closer, “Baby doll, I wouldn’t dream of it.”
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