#someone get her a therapist tho

[fungerisms]

samarie the girlfailure sopping wet cat woaaa like

#fear and hunger #fear and hunger termina #fear and hunger 2 #samarie #fear and hunger samarie #fear and hunger dysmorphia #yass #shes such a loser femcell #bet she listens to weezer #i hate her but also like her a lot #mixed feelings galore #someone get her a therapist tho #played as marina she kept jumpscaring me #then dysmorphia beat my team to the ground :(

[craycraybluejay]

sex and hormone therapy and killing my abusers and doing hard drugs will fix me

#who boutta fix me #its really easy those are the steps #also like turning my therapist immortal #but thats optional i dont wanna see her die tho :( #but um #*flirting* do you fw any mafias aha like do you know any hired guns yk haha like just asking #ive been out of the dating pool for awhile but when i dated i constantly was drawn to dangerous ppl #it was fun! i was like a weird protsgonist with a murderer-o-meter #i kinda hope i see my ex at an upcoming social function just so i can revel in that #i know what they did and its unlikely many others do #i just like the knowing #and networking around #which btw always network everywhere even if its not a networking event #u never ever know when someones skills or luck can be useful to you or when you can pay it forward and help someone else #capitalists dont want there to be upward mobility n ppl try to make networking sound hard #but the truth is its just meeting as many ppl as u can and being polite and friendly #and even making real friends! #also always know your worth skills wise and be able to pitch at just an amateur level #like 'hi i do art and ive been dabbling at my dads mechanic job' #is more than enough #or even 'hi nice to meet you-- you seem really cool what do you do?' #remember not to overthink and just be genuinely curious about other ppl and open and receptive to new social dynamics #and dont write off even the most drastic opportunities #if you need time to think on it just say that #anyway what was i saying #im gonna get better and if someone doesnt fix me i will fix me

[monotonouscigarette]

Geniuniely not sure if im still sane anymore, but anyways how are y’all doing?

#/j #sorta but not really #ren talks #fun fact i actually do not know if im sane! #cause i have this thing where i fall into like.. actual delusion #i’ve been having it all my life #like when i was like 4 i geniunely belived my bestfriends mom was trying to kill me #why? idk man i was delusional #and everytime she would go up to get something from the house i expected her to either 1. abandon us 4 year olds and let us just kinda die #or 2. come back w a knife and kill me now that i was outa view #when i was like 8 i though there was someone living in my house waiting to kill me watching everything i did etc #there where a bunch of thoose #like my intire life #and i like actualy can’t tell the difference between these like delusions or whatever and reality #like at all #it doesnt matter if it includes real people or things i dont belive in or whatever #like i cant seperate it #i should probably see a therapist #cause like might have schizophrenia or smthn #…im sure its fine tho

[scarletcomet]

alright besties. it took almost the whole session but i finally got myself to tell my therapist that i’ve been hurting myself

#it took the whole time for me to tell her so i didnt get any help :( #i doubt there's anything she could even really do to help tho #i've done lots of therapy cbt dbt etc and i only turned to sh because nothing else was working #i feel a lot better tho because i told her briefly about how i've struggled with sh for 6 years and it hasn't been bad in many years #but i have had small relapses on multiple occasions over the years #and i told her how i relapsed on sat and have done it again 5 times since sat #and i told her that i am going to do it again #it feels pretty good to not feel guilty or like im lying to my therapist and for someone other than me to know #i know this is not a great/healthy thing to post on here but im kinda really proud of myself for opening up a little bit to my therapist #it was kinda weird tho because it was the first time i ever talked about sh at least explicitly with this therapist before #she straight up asked me if i bled and i was like what of course #ik sh looks different for everyone but i just thought she had picked up on it because i showed her/mentioned the bandages on my arm #anyways i'm sorry for all this oversharing about this kind of stuff #tw self harm

[distantwave]

#really think I actually need to find a psychiatrist one of these days #not to quote my shitty roomie but I really don’t have to live like this #I am. doing not as bad as I have at other points. but I am definitely not doing great I would say #like I mean things are fine at the moment. but there’s definitely the edge of a precipice kinda feeling to it #like I do really enjoy my job that’s a really good thing for me actually and I finally found a place to live so that’s excellent but #I do REALLY think I need to get help before I move out. which realistically isn’t going to happen bc it’s less than a month away #but uh. I am. not going to do well on my own admittedly. sure I was practically living on my own the last few months in the last place #just bc no one would speak to me. but there were still other people in the house. I think my potential for getting really bad again is #perhaps going to be alarmingly high if I’m on my own without a roommate or a therapist/physiatrist to figure shit out #I don’t want it to take away how excited I am to live at my new place but I genuinely should not be on my own. like practically I’m fine #it’s mentally I won’t do well with it I think #on a totally different note tho if I did ever end up getting diagnosed with what I think I’ve got going on it opens up a ton of #diners drive ins and dives jokes for me lmaoo #so that’s something I guess lol. but yea anyways idk what to do really. am bad at bridging what I can bring up to people and what I can’t #as that is literally one of the defining reasons my relationship with her fucking crashed and burned. so idk when/what/how much I can #talk about things anymore. went from telling no one anything and it completely ruining my closest friendship. to telling her everything and #it ALSO ruining our friendship. so my grasp of what’s appropriate is evidently nonexistent ya know. but I do need to talk to someone bc #I am perhaps doing less than optimal ya know? and I don’t really want to go back to my last therapist I feel like it’s been too long #don’t know what my plan of action is here but this was slightly cathartic at least

[void-tiger]

Yeah. The difference between whether I have my head back or feel like I’m trying to work around a festering pearl is whether or not I feel safe and secure and accepted and worth the trouble. It isn’t even the depth and frequency, apparently. It’s security and whether or not either I can truly make myself choose to trust someone or they fight to earn my trust back as many times as it takes with my own personal history and environment mucking things up

But yeah. It’s good to have a clear head again.

#tiger’s roar #mucked up attatchment ftw… #tho…my therapist did say last week that. this year. particularly The Mess as I affectionately call it. would’ve been hard on anyone #and yeah. I am choosing to believe someone’s trying to look out for me and help me heal #vs someone else breaking my trust yet again #because…it fits what I know just as well and let me have this okay? #but…yeah. having someone actually defend me. actually tell people to apologize or reconcile. actually soothe and reassure repeatedly #that…look. I needed that. I’ve only had online and a handful of longdistance friends stick around and reassure me. as an adult #never here. never irl. not until this guy and his sister and their parents #I needed friends’ parents to actually love and accept ME and yeah. reconcile when I got seriously hurt by something they did #just as much as I needed her to stick around. and him to reassure and defend me #…granted…this is stuff I’ve been trying to do for months #make sure they all feel safe and accepted #but…I really can’t say I’ve ever had this returned before. well. not irl #I always have to be so tightly in control which in turn gets me very high strung like a guitar tuned too tight #and that’s just to have people as aquaintences #which the dad especially has been trying to get through to me that I don’t need to do that #but…it just takes me a long time to trust. I need it proved. I need to not be an obligation or pitied. #but…I think I can finally believe them. and accept things as they are

[anti-subtle-b]

Cloe has anxiety in the old Bratz tv show AND in the video games-- you cannot convince me otherwise

#y'all #she's always SPIRALING #and her friend's are just like #Cloe CHILL #BISH SHE HAS ANXIETY #SOMEONE GET HER A THERAPIST #AND MAYBE SOME LEXAPRO #playing it off for comedic effect but babes that is not normal #she's me fr tho #(I have anxiety too)

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Please have your asks open okay so hear me out

Charles Leclerc x Greek ! F1 driver ! Reader

You can choose the brand anything Ferrari because I want it to be like a little rivalry to lovers . Social media au or not . Reader being in f1 more time than Charles or Charles with rookie reader .

Thank you in advance

Hello!! I decided to go with rookie reader, hoping you'll like it❤️🙏

scuderiaferrari We are thrilled to announce a historic moment in Formula 1 as we welcome Y/n Y/l/n to our racing family! 🚀 Introducing Y/n Y/l/n, the first woman to compete in F1 since the iconic Lella Lombardi in 1976, and proudly representing Greece! 🇬🇷 Teaming up with our Charles Leclerc, Y/n brings a fresh wave of skill, determination and passion to the track. Together they'll conquer the 2024 season with the iconic Prancing Horse🐎

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yourusername I feel extremely honored to become a part of this family❤️

username1 Miss girl has no idea what she signed up for 💀 wishing her all the best tho

username2 A GIRL, GUYS WE FINALLY GOT A GIRL IN F1

username3 I have a bad feeling about this...

↳username1 wtf? care to explain?

username3 By the summer break she'll have hooked up with half the grid

username1 bye I'm not even participating in this conversation, misogynistic brain rot

carlossainz55 Goodluck @/yourusername 💪

↳yourusername Thank you Carlos 🙏

↳username4 Help why does his comment seem kinda salty

username2 wdym salty lol he literally wished her goodluck

username5 I get him tho, a girl stole his seat

username2 what "stealing" are you talking about? his contract expired, they didn't prolong it and went with some fresh blood that happened to be a woman, not to mention you have to be like the best of the best to get into F1, there was def no stealing done

charles_leclerc Exciting times ahead, let's see if you can keep up

↳yourusername Buckle up 🤠

↳username2 now THAT'S what I'd call a salty comment

username5 Charles forgot they're on the same team lol

achi_of_greece Hellenic Hurricane 🌪

↳yourusername I'll never escape from this nickname will I? 🫶

↳username1 NOT Y/N HAVING LITERAL ROYALTY UNDER A POST ABOUT HER

↳username3 Let's see if the hellenic hurricane can keep up with Lighting McQueen

username4 keep up? 🤡 miss girl will beat his ass up

username5 once again, i kindly remind, they are a TEAM!

lewishamilton History in the making

↳yourusername Omg sir Lewis Hamilton I'm gonna cry 🥹

username1 Y/n being a fangirl just like us

username4 she's so real for this frfr

oscarpiastri Finally🥴it was a bit lonely

↳yourusername Hi f2 bestie 🫶

logansargeant What about me

yourusername you know Oscar and I love you!!

f1 A historic day at the Imola Circuit as Y/n Y/l/n, the Hellenic Hurricane, wins the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix! Congratulations to Y/n and the entire Ferrari team for this outstanding performance.

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yourusername A dream come true honestly 😭🙏

↳carlossainz55 Great job👏

↳lewishamilton So proud

↳username4 Someone explain why the 7 (8)times WC and Charles' ex teammate are more supportive than Charles himself

username2 I think it might be an ego thing? He could be jealous? Personally I think it's Ferrari's fault, they kinda messed up the friendship between CL and CS too at the end

username5 yeah Y/n is definitely the 'favorite child' to Ferrari because she's new and they want to focus more on her or smth

maxverstappen1 Well deserved

↳yourusername THANK YOU MAX

↳username6 Why is Max here and Charles is not😭

username1 A GIRL. IN FERRARI. WINNING IN ITALY. I WASN'T READY FOR THIS

username2 The haters are pretty quiet rn

username4 No cuz I was gonna ask if she found a therapist yet... But she might not need it

username6 Excuse me it's been a few weeks and we get a Y/n win already?? I love it here

landonorris Max Verstappen is screaming crying throwing up

↳maxverstappen1 I'm literally not

landonorris You must admit it was refreshing not having to listen to the Dutch anthem again

oscarpiastri Best rookie fr

↳yourusername I learn from the best (even though you didn't have a win in your rookie year)

oscarpiastri Wdym i didn't, i won sprint in Qatar. Not to mention rookie of the year

yourusername Yeah yeah, stop flexing pookie

logansargeant Go bestie

↳yourusername Can't fvck with these hoes cuz they messy 💅

username7 live laugh love Y/n

username1 the Verstappen curse has ended🙏

↳username3 you know it's probs her first and last victory in F1 right?

username1 I just wonder why is Charles so quiet

charles_leclerc Congrats 👍

↳username7 not Charles commenting after people started to wonder why he didn't say anything 😭

↳yourusername How did you enjoy looking at the back of my car? Oh wait, you couldn't even see it from P8

username1 maybe it was better when Charles didn't comment 💀

username3 if that was how my teammate talks to me I'd be pissed too

username1 if this is angrily my name is Ayrton Senna

username2 pls if he was angry, it was only cuz he's in love with her but can't do anything about it

↳username3 he can, they're both single, if he wanted he would've, but he knows they have to keep it professional

username2 that's why I said he can't do anything, literally. i predict a relationship the moment one of them leaves ferrari (or f1 in general)

username4 dude is so in love it's embarrassing

username5 I just know he's thinking about unholy things

↳username7 angry sex lmao imagine

username6 oh to have someone who'll look at me the same way Charles looks at Y/n

username7 okay so my theory is they're attracted to each other okay? but neither of them can talk about emotions, but they tried to have a talk about it, which turned into an argument cuz both are short tempered pookies

↳username3 this is so delusional 🤡 why would they talk about it in that exact moment?

username7 let a girl fantasize

↳username5 quietly manifesting this to be true

↳username2 I'll never believe in true love if this doesn't turn out to be real

username8 No cuz hear me out guys. The LONGING gaze in the second picture? There is chemistry between them whether they admit it or not

↳username6 I totally see it, that is the stare of a man in love with the woman he's just argued with. Look at him. He doesn't look angry. He looks upset. Why? Because they had this argument and didn't make up. Now he's worried they'll get in the cars and something bad will happen either to him or Y/n and... You can imagine how the rest goes

username3 And i thought the previous person was delulu wtf

username9 I can die happily the day I see CharlesY/n happen

↳username7 be careful what you wish for, I feel like it can happen sooner than we'd expect

username10 I need to know HOW didn't Y/n fold after being looked at like this

username11 My friend went to Monaco for the GP and she has a paddock pass, she told me she overheard Y/n talk to some girl from her team that she liked Charles AND they even had "THE talk"™ (which could mean they did "IT"?), but Y/n can't imagine a relationship with him

↳username3 out of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most

↳username1 I can see that, they're very similar - competitive, short tempered - each of them is like a ticking bomb alone, so in a romantic relationship they would be truly a nuclear weapon (which doesn't mean I don't want it to happen)

yourusername A great day for some karting 🥴 summer break!

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username1 did I gaslight myself that hard or she's really in the number 16?

↳username5 nah, I see that too

↳username2 girlie giving us hints, is it soft launching yet?

username2 16 I'M SCREAMING

username4 enemies to lovers?

↳username3 when were they enemies?

username4 well they never seemed very fond of each other

username3 then just say rivals 💀

charles_leclerc You forgot to mention I won this time

↳yourusername first and last time you got a higher place than me

username4 I can see them having "the winner gets to be on top" kinda bets

↳landonorris 👀

username1 LANDO KNOWS SOMETHING

username11 i told yall, there's too much tension between Y/n and Charles to not be AT LEAST fuck buddies

oscarpiastri What's the longest you can go without being on track?

↳yourusername Mate as I'm writing this I'm waiting for a plane home, won't sit behind the wheel for like a week or more 😭

↳username2 Y/n is dedicated to her job

yourusername είσαι η αγάπη μου❤️🤍

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username1 the red and white hearts?? just saying but they're colors of the Monaco flag

↳username2 and the guy lowkey looks like Charles🤔

username3 looks like Charles? The best you can see is the back of his head

username2 and it looks exactly like Charles' 😌

francisca.cgomes Where credits for the last pic?

↳username4 KIKA WHAT ARE U DOING HERE

↳yourusername Pierre said not to tag either of you 😭 safety reasons or something 🙄

username4 AND PIERRE IS THERE?

username3 Okay, she's in a relationship, y'all can stop shipping Charles with her

↳username5 wdym 💀 this is literally Charles

username3 And y'all say that based on the back of his head, delusional

oscarpiastri @/landonorris and I want an invitation next time

↳yourusername Sorry pookie, it's not for kids

landonorris I'm not a kid

yourusername Then don't act like one

username5 lmao Ferrari had no idea they're getting a sassy queen

username6 Y/n is in love 🥹

↳username2 She's winning, she's in love, what else could a girl want?

username7 Not the soft launch as if we didn't know it's literally her teammate

username1 WHAT.

username2 I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU.

username3 You know it's totally normal for friends to hang out? I'd take it as they finally made up

↳username2 UP OR OUT

↳username4 they totally look like just friends, sure😐

username5 IN HER HOMETOWN 😭 HE MET HER FAMILY

↳username7 I'm super curious how it went. "Mom, dad, this is Charles my teammate, I hate his guts. Oh, and we're also lovers"

username6 So where is the person who said they can die happily when CharlesY/n turns out to be real?

↳username2 dead probs lmao

username7 The power couple we needed 😭

username8 imagine their PR team lurking onto gossip pages seeing this

↳username1 I know FOR A FACT that the pr people do look at the gossip accounts

username9 Y'all remember how once someone said Y/n will hook up with half the grid? Staring with the teammate is easy, let's see who'll be next

↳username3 Yeah, I'm so surprised it didn't happen earlier

↳username2 stay mad lol Y/n is living her best life with the man she loves

username5 THIS and it doesn't matter that they met through being on the same team

username6 They knew each other before tho! Y/n used to be friends with Arthur, so she def met Charles in the past

username3 Oh so she tried to get with Arthur but because it didn't work out she went for Charles?

username6 That's literally not what I said. She was friends with Arthur. FRIENDS

username3 You know there's no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman?

username6 look at who is delulu now 🤡 I'm not having this conversation

charles_leclerc Partners on and off the track

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username1 Man literally said fuck a soft launch 😭

↳username2 as he should! we've been dying for them to announce it

yourusername Je t'aime 🩷

↳charles_leclerc Je t'aime avec tes défauts et tes qualités

yourusername EXCUSE ME

yourusername DO YOU THINK I CANT USE TRANSLATOR?

yourusername WHAT "DÉFAUTS" YOU MEAN? I HAVE NO DÉFAUTS

charles_leclerc That's adorable ❤️

pierregasly Remind me, who took the first photo? 🤔

↳yourusername Kika did 🫶 @/francisca.cgomes

francisca.cgomes First and foremost I am the biggest CharlesY/n fan

pierregasly But you took the pic with my phone, I am the author just as much 🙄

francisca.cgomes No❤️

landonorris OH

landonorris I thought you won't have the balls to hard launch

↳yourusername The balls are there indeed

yourusername And more

landonorris EWWWW TMI

yourusername 😐

landonorris exactly my face rn

oscarpiastri So that's why Lando and I weren't invited

↳yourusername It's a couples trip 🤷‍♀️ there wasn't space for the Aussie and his emotional support extrovert

oscarpiastri fuck Lando, what about the Aussie and his GIRLFRIEND?

oscarpiastri Because I do have a girlfriend, you know?

landonorris HEY that's mean

logansargeant I can't say I didn't see it coming

↳username1 We all did, Logan

↳yourusername You were literally the first person I told about my crush on Charles...

logansargeant But who said I believed it would work out?

oscarpiastri HE was the first to know?

yourusername And you were the first to know about the night Charles spent in my hotel room in Monaco

charles_leclerc You talk to them about these things, chérie?

yourusername Don't act like you didn't run to Lando to tell him all about it on the next day

username4 So the theories were real after all, the spicy night in Y/n's hotel room was the cause of their argument

↳username3 She didn't say that...

username4 But it's obvious. Look - the night happened, they felt weird about it and boom there goes the argument. It makes a lot of sense

username5 However it happened, I'm glad it happened

username6 What happens now? Are they even allowed to be a couple?

↳username7 wdym allowed lol it's better than if they were from different teams, they'd have to sign NDA or something

username6 Isn't the team worried they'll distract each other or something?

username7 At least they'll be traumatized together

scuderiaferrari 🇬🇷❤️🇲🇨

↳username6 The team is indeed not worried

yourusername The benefits of having birthday during the summer break

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username1 I love the Y/n and Charles/Kika and Pierre friend group

↳username2 they're everything I want fr

username4 okay but I NEED to know whose idea the cake was

↳username2 I would expect it from Logan and Oscar, honestly, but they weren't in Greece with them

↳yourusername ofc it was Kika's idea!!

francisca.cgomes and I'm proud of it

logansargeant It hurts to know you're making new friends 🙄

↳yourusername I figured I needed some girl friend after spending so much time with you and Oscar 🙄

logansargeant Do you even remember about us anymore?

oscarpiastri I bet 10 of your american dollars that she doesn't

yourusername how could I forget? You two still haunt me in my nightmares 🫶

username1 lmao Charles wakes up screaming box box and Y/n wakes up screaming what's a kilometer and shoe thongs 😭

yourusername that's an accurate description

charles_leclerc I swear I once heard you talk in your sleep something about running a mile in shoe thongs

yourusername And I don't even know how long a mile is, so you can only imagine how terrifying that was

lewishamilton Happy birthday to my favorite rookie

↳yourusername Every time you appear in my comment section I cry a little

lewishamilton The good tears I hope?

yourusername happiness tears of course😭

username5 Do y'all think Charles is jealous seeing his gf interact with THE Lewis Hamilton?

↳username2 No? Why? Lewis is Y/n's idol so obviously she's gonna fangirl a lil

username6 Y/n being a WAG and a driver at the same time, iconic

username7 My fav wag duo for real

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #f1 smau #f1 social media au #Charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #Charles leclerc smau #Charles leclerc social media au

[sonicpoorlittlemeowmeowshowdown]

SONIC POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW SHOWDOWN

ROUND ONE MATCH FIVE

Propaganda for Starline:

"crushes on Eggman, gets rejected, stalks the man and acts like he's over him (not), damages 2 kids irreversibly JUST to imitate Sonic and Tails. Dude died by being gaslit. Idk what's wetter or more pathetic than this"

Propaganda for Surge:

"She bases all her self worth on whenever she is able to beat sonic in a fight or not. Sonic always kicks her ass tho. I think it's pretty pathetic."

#starline #surge the tenrec #doctor starline #starline the platypus #idk what his tag is sorry #sonic poor little meow meow showdown #sonic polls #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic poll

[itsthewritergal]

Get up Buck - B.Barnes X reader

Here it is! The final part.

I hope you all enjoy :)

TW; suicide, death, character death, swearing, (happy ending tho!)

PART 1

PART 2

“She is to be kept on 24 hour surveillance for the next four days. She is going to be tired and weak and you need to be looking after it. It is going to be hard work for everyone involved and you need to never make her feel bad for it” The Psych Doctor explained to Steve and Tony, 

“I understand, I can promise she will be safe” Tony said firmly, “Is she ready to go?” 

“You’ve signed all the consent forms?” The doctor asked 

“Everything’s been signed and paid for” Steve said, “I’d just like to get her home” 

“On the understanding that you bring her back the moment you can’t handle it” 

“I don’t need handling” Y/N said firmly appearing in the doorway of her room, 

“I didn’t mean it like that” The doctor said gently 

“You can’t keep me here so if you don’t want me at the compound I can go home” She said, and Tony felt his heart break.

“We want you at the compound” Tony placed his hand softly on hers, 

“Are you sure?” Y/N asked searching Tony’s face for any sign of uncertainty 

“Yes” Tony said, picking up her suitcase that was packed 

“Y/N, here is a few emergency numbers you can call if things get bad again” the doctor said handing Y/N a pamphlet filled with self-help book recommendations and numbers for therapists. 

“She won’t need them, but thank you” Steve said 

The ride to the compound was filled by the soft humming of Wanda to the radio, Steve and Bucky muttering in the back of the car and Nat trying to pull conversation out of Tony who was clearly preoccupied with googling all the best therapists near to the compound. Y/N had her head resting on the cool glass of the window as the compound rolled into view. It was a sight she had wanted to forget, her hands balled up in her shirt trying to disperse some of the anxiety of moving in. Tony had taken her to her apartment a few hours before to get her things together. 

“I gave Vis and Clint clear instructions for your room, your stuff will be in there” Wanda said 

“They won’t have unpacked it though?” Y/N double checked 

“No of course they won’t have” Steve said softly “We will have to check your bags though” 

“I’m not going to smuggle in anything that’s going to hurt me” Y/N said with a roll of her eyes, 

“We can’t take that risk, you can choose whoever to check through them but we have to check” Steve said in an authoritative tone

“Nat” Y/N said quietly 

“Sounds good sweetheart” Nat said with a soft smile, 

“Movie night tonight, what are we watching?” Tony said trying to lighten the mood 

“I think it’s Bucky’s turn to pick” Wanda said gently, Bucky felt his heart squeeze

“Friends” He said without skipping a beat 

“Friends?” Tony asked, 

“Yeah, I want to watch Friends tonight” He said, he knew it was Y/N’s favourite show to watch when she was feeling down. It wasn’t much but it was a start to making her feel better. 

“That’s not a movie but I guess we can watch it” Tony said with a huff,

“Y/N sweet or salty popcorn?” Wanda asked 

“Either, I think I’ll probably head to bed. So it might be a better idea for someone else to choose” She said quietly 

“I want both” Clint interrupted, as the car rolled to a stop 

“Nat can you show Y/N her room?” Tony said as they climbed out the car. 

It had been two days, Tony had kept Y/N under close super-vision. Not that she would have known it. He made sure that all the agents had been briefed to know that she was to be treated normally, just like she had been treated when she was at the compound with Bucky. 

“You need some sleep” Steve said as Tony slumped into the meeting room with yet another cup of coffee

“Everyone’s either too tired or on missions to do the over night shifts of watching her, so I don’t have a choice” Tony said “Sleep is for the weak” 

“What if I took the overnight tonight?” Bucky suggested “You’re giving her the sleeping tablets so she won’t wake up, I’m not on missions this week so I don’t mind one all-nighter” 

“What would you do if she did wake up?” Tony asked, Bucky knew it was a test. He wasn’t stupid, but there was a part of him that was insulted 

“I’d come and get you or Steve and I’d stay away” Bucky said, it was a lie, he wasn’t sure how he’d react. Wasn’t sure if he could stay that far away from her if she was hurting, but he had to try

“I don’t know” Tony said warily 

“It’s one night, then you can look after her 24/7 the rest of the week” Steve suggested, 

“Fine” Tony agreed. 

The night was going smoothly, Bucky felt a little like a stalker watching Y/N sleep on the secret cameras Tony had installed. But he took a little bit of comfort in watching her so peacefully, it had been one of his favourite past-times when they were together. Not that she ever knew about it, back then she would have teased him mercilessly if she had found out. He would have loved it, he’d love it even more if she was to find that spark again, but he knew better than to wish for that much. 

Y/N stirred a little in her sleep and Bucky felt his chest tighten, she was wearing his shirt. He was sure he had lost it months ago, yet here it was. Bucky zoomed in a little on the camera to check that she wasn’t waking up, her face contorting into a pained grimace. Suddenly she sat bolt upright and was desperately searching in the duvet for something. Bucky could sense the panic, his hand hesitating over the button that would call Tony and Steve. Until she stopped, her hands wrapped around something. Something that Bucky couldn’t believe. And so he called for Steve. 

“Is she okay?” Steve asked out of breath, 

“I need you to put me in a cell tonight” Bucky said calmly, it wasn’t a request Steve wanted to hear, 

“What’s going on? Do I need to call Shuri?” 

“She’s got the bear” Bucky said quietly, 

“The bear?” Steve asked in a dumbfounded way, he knew it was the middle of the night but his brain was desperately trying to keep up with Bucky’s train of thought

“When we were together we went to this bear shop, where you could design your own and she made a Bucky Bear” He said, tears daring to fall from his eyes “She  paid extra for her bear to have a matching arm to mine” His metal fingers flexed, “I always said that as long as she had the bear I’d be with her” His voice broke on the last syllable 

“Buck” 

“I need you to put me in a cell because otherwise I’m going to go in there and I can’t betray Tony like that” 

“I won’t lock you up” Steve said 

“Then call Tony” Bucky snapped 

“No” Steve said firmly 

“Steve I have very little willpower right now. I can’t stay away from her when she’s hurting like this” Bucky said 

“I don’t think you should” Steve said quietly, “I think she needs you” 

“She hates me” 

“She doesn’t” 

That was all Bucky needed to hear, he was soon outside her door, his knuckles tapping on the soft wood of her door. It creaked open to show Y/N with tear trails down her cheeks. She didn’t dare move when she saw Bucky, almost as though she had forgotten how to. 

“Y/N,” Bucky started but he couldn’t find the words 

“What did you want Bucky?” She asked tiredly rubbing her eyes, 

“I can’t” He took a deep breath “I lied, when I broke up with you. I lied to keep you safe, I was scared I was corrupting you. I wanted to keep you safe and I fucked up. But Y/N, I need to make it better tonight. I need you to let me hold you” he rambled quickly, 

“Bucky” Y/N started 

“I promise I will talk to you properly in the morning, you can yell or tell me you hate me, but please I can’t loose you. I won’t loose you. I need you to want to live, and I swear I will prove to you ever single day that life is worth it. Just please Y/N, if you can’t live for you, then live for me?” Bucky said he fell onto his knees begging Y/N, 

“Get up Buck” she said softly 

“Y/N” He started 

“I’ve always slept better with you in the room” she admitted. 

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