#someone save this show and then hire meeeeee

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Symbols I would be making sure were present (or adding) if I were producing the Six of Crows TV show

(Btw I’ve been writing my own script for a bit of fun since the cancellation news so if anyone wants to see that I’ll tag you, and the save S&B petition is also on my page if anyone wants the link)

EDIT: Sorry I should’ve put this I forgot; SA reference warning for the second point, nothing explicit but in talking about Inej’s experiences and the experiences of women in Greek mythology 🖤

FLOWERS. I want geraniums on the Exchange balcony from chapter 2 and I want reference to the geraniums at 19 Burstradt, I want Matthias the big brooding yellow tulip contrasted with the red tulips laid on his chest and in the water after his death, I want crocuses at the Hoede manor, I want jurda blossoms in Jesper’s flashbacks and maybe Kaz’s too (and probably crocuses in his), I want geraniums hidden all over the caravan and circus tent in Inej’s flashbacks, I want wild flowers in Wylan’s hands on the way to St Hilde’s that get discarded in the lobby, I want wisteria growing outside St Hilde’s, I want blue tulips painted on the floor tiles at St Hilde’s, I want white roses all over Nina’s room in Ketterdam and I want to hear the comment about how all the flowers at the White Rose are perfumed by hand, I want a cascade of geraniums falling all over Kaz and Inej as they tumble of Goedmed Bridge, I want lavish flower arrangements at the Menagerie accented by peacock feathers, I COULD TALK ABOUT THE FLOWER SYMBOLISM IN THESE BOOKS FOR YEARS I WANT IT NOTICED LET’S GO

BIRDS. I want crows, I want pigeons, I want nightingales (that one’s my personal addition but oh boy do I have reasons; Nightingales are a symbol of immortality in literature and could be painted on the tiles at St Hilde behind the wisteria for all the same symbolic reasons the wisteria’s there; in Greek mythology Philomela prayed to the gods to escape her Tereus, who had raped her and intended to kill her, and they turned her into a nightingale, representing freedom and imprisonment at the same time because she’d lost who she was so this wasn’t true freedom DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BADLY I NEED A NIGHTINGALE TO CROSS THE SCREEN WHILST INEJ CONTEMPLATES HAVING COMMITTED MURDER AND HER PERSONAL MORAL AND RELIGIOUS IMPLICATIONS OF THAT!!?? I’m going crazy), I want more emphasis on the bird cage in Heleen’s office because in its three seconds of screen time in season one I was SOLD on how genius it was, I want peacocks EVERYWHERE, I want to be so committed to the birds vibe that we can start throwing in a whole load of new birds for other symbolism!! Let’s have owl symbolism around Wylan and Jesper, let’s have heavy emphasis on Nina as the little red bird, let’s talk about the nightingale again because I’m obsessed

KOMEDIE BRUTE. I have talked before about how I think the costumes each character wears are symbolic and directly linked to their arc but it was a long time ago and I updated it a few times based on replies so if anyone wants a full updated version of my thoughts on that lemme know, I also wrote a thing about how I think Mr Crimson could possibly be an omen of death so again if anyone’s interested let me know - I’ll either tag you or write a post fully involving all my Komedie Brute thoughts. I want Nina as the lost bride, Wylan and Inej in matching grey imp costumes, Kaz in the madman’s mask, Jesper and Matthias as Mr Crimson, all of them as Mr Crimson with a black tear in their masks, silver coins thrown all over the staves, costume shops on Ketterdam streets. I want Jackal masks and Drüskelle “costumes” in plain view on market stalls and in shop windows, and as an add on to that I want references to Nina’s fake Kefta being Kerch-made and uncomfortable to wear.

PURPLE. I want purple stadwatch uniforms, I want purple kruge notes, I want purple decor in the Geldrenner, I want purple silks in Inej’s flashbacks.

TREES. I want so many reminders that trees are sacred to Fjerdans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has already been done really well in the show but I would want to maintain it; I want to see Matthias praying when Wylan fells the tree before the Ice Court heist, I want his indignation over the relevance of the sacred ash tree, I want to see the look on Nina’s face when she realises Brum has walked her all the way around the sacred ash instead of crossing underneath it (at the time she thinks it’s because she’s pretending to be a prostitute but later we understand it’s because she’s Grisha and I know we couldn’t have had Nina’s internal thoughts in this scene even though I wish we could have but we can still have hints!!!)

SEALS AND STAMPS. I want to see a blue wax seal with a peacock feather pattern, a black seal with a crow, a pale green stamp for the bank, a purple stamp for government correspondence, I want a stack of letters with unbroken red seals with a laurel wreath crest hidden under Wylan’s mattress.

RELIGIOUS SYMBOLS. Ok there’s loads we could say here but specifically I want “rich as saints in crowns of gold” contrasted with “if it was worth anything Heleen would have taken it. But this is just a simple token of faith that my mother stitched”, I want the imagery of Ghezen contrasting the imagery of the Saints contrasting the imagery of Djel, and I so so badly want “Djel is the god of life, not death”

#someone save this show and then hire meeeeee #I have too many ideas #save shadow and bone #save six of crows #grishaverse #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #kanej #wesper #helnik

[kaette-kita-slayers]

Slayers Special 2-6 - Little Princess 2 (Part 1)

I’m splitting this one into two parts, since it’s longer than usual. (Here’s part 2)

(If you haven’t already, you might want to read the writeup for the first “Little Princess”, since this story is a followup to the events there.)

“Help! Someone, please, help!”

I could hear the desperate, panicked voice of an old man coming from the area where the highway reaches the forest.

“Give up, old man. Nobody’s gonna help you!” a brutish-sounding man’s voice said.

This is where an ordinary person with no guts for a fight would pretend they hadn’t heard anything and move on, but Lina Inverse isn’t like that! Without hesitation, I ran toward the direction the voices had come from.

It was probably a traveler being threatened by a bandit or something like that. In which case, I could demand a huge reward for saving him!

Lina catches up to them and sees a bandit, sword raised, advancing on an old man on the ground. Behind them, there’s a girl struggling with two other men.

Lina draws her short sword and dives for the sword-wielding man. The two cross swords, and then Lina spins to the side and elbows him in the jaw. As he falls, out cold, she thinks to herself that he’s no better than any other generic thug.

One of the remaining men yells at her not to move, and Lina looks over to see that they have the girl restrained with a sword to her throat.

It’s an effective tactic, if stereotypical.

“Help me!” the girl cried out. She was blonde and petite… wait, what the–?!

“Make a move and she dies, bitch!”

I ignored the man spouting cliches and made a mad dash for the three.

“H-hey, I told you not to–”

The men went into a panic, but I still ignored them!

“How dare you show your face in front of meeeeee?!”

My jump kick hit the hostage–Laymia–right in the face.

The story resumes in a simple restaurant in a nameless little village near the highway, with Lina apologizing awkwardly to Laymia, claiming that her “foot slipped”. Lina had had trouble with a girl claiming to be Laymia before, but…

She sorta turned out to be the real one. It’s hilarious, really. Normally, this is the kind of thing that we could all laugh off (I think), but in this case, unfortunately, I was dealing with the daughter of a nobleman, complete with an attendant.

Said attendant–the old man–is furious, veins popping out on his forehead, yelling at Lina that “I’m sorry” isn’t good enough. Laymia says nothing, fiddling with a rose she’s holding.

Lina assumes she’s trying to strike some kind of pose, but the mark left on her face from Lina’s kick ruins it. Lina also notes that the two of them aren’t wearing the kind of nice clothing she would have expected, presumably to keep from standing out while traveling.

Laymia’s servant continues berating Lina.

“This girl that you kicked is the daughter of Duke Turadia, holder of lands entrusted to him by the king himself! And even worse, you kicked her in the face! If the mark doesn’t go away, Lady Laymia will… Lady Laymia will… be stuck with this hilarious face for the rest of her life!”

“Well, excuse me for having a ‘hilarious face’…” Laymia muttered, side-eyeing the old man, who quickly bowed his head.

“Eh… heh. Forgive me, my lady! That just slipped out. Please forgive your humble servant, Crambe!”

Laymia lets it slide, but orders him to stop berating Lina and especially to stop referring to her aloud as the duke’s daughter, since they’re traveling in secret. Silently celebrating, Lina apologizes to her one more time.

“By the way… judging by your appearance, I assume you’re a sorceress…?”

I nodded in response to her question.

“I thought so.”

“Even a cat could figure that out.”

“Old man…”

“Oh, just another slip of the tongue!”

Casually flinging her rose under the table, she asks Lina if she would agree to accompany them as a bodyguard. Lina doesn’t want to, but she knows she can’t refuse outright after what happened earlier. Still a little suspicious that she might be dealing with a fake, she asks Laymia why they didn’t bring soldiers with them.

Laymia says that she would have preferred to do so, but her father’s lands are in an economic crisis. Crambe interrupts, protesting that she shouldn’t reveal that, but she counters that Lina needs to understand the situation.

Picking up a leafless rose from under the table, she explains further.

“You’ve probably heard rumors about this, but a short time ago, an ambitious chancellor in our lands did something unwise…”

Believe me, I know.

“Thanks to the strange golems he unleashed, the city suffered massive damage, and we’ve exhausted our resources trying to rebuild.”

I started in shock, and froze. T-that… that couldn’t be… don’t tell me…

“Er… that… that sounds awful…” Sweating profusely, I forced a smile.

Damn it, Naga, you picked the perfect time to disappear on me…

Laymia tells her that because of the disaster, they were left without money to pay their soldiers and staff, and now only the old man with her is left. As she attaches a leaf to the rose, she adds that she has to make artificial flowers to earn money.

She begins to cry, and Crambe puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t cry, princess… that’s just acknowledging that you’re one of the worthless poor now.”

“Are you trying to pick a fight with me…?”

“Why… how could you ever think that? You have my deepest apologies! It just slipped out.”

This old guy… I think maybe he only stuck around with them because no one would want to hire him if he left the castle.

Returning to the subject, Laymia tells Lina that they’re on their way to Figaro City to see Duke MacGarrell, a relative of hers, to ask him for a loan.

“So please, I beg you! I… I don’t have anything to pay you with right now, but I will as soon as I can raise some money! And if that’s not enough, I’ll rub your shoulders! Make you tea! I’ll be your slave!”

“Princess… you’re abasing yourself a little bit too much…”

“Stop crying, old man, and you bow too!”

Both of them were sobbing. Naturally, I couldn’t refuse her request.

The trip to Figaro City goes well. Laymia gets caught running out on her bill a couple of times, and they encounter some bandits and other assorted lowlifes, but nothing worse happens.

Despite being roughly the same size as Tyrell City, it’s a very different place, with an oppressive atmosphere. In contrast to the run-down areas populated by commoners, the castle is surrounded by opulent mansions. There are clearly far more impoverished than wealthy, and Lina thinks that lords of places like this are almost always rich.

The group heads straight for the castle (Lina suspects because Laymia has no money for sightseeing and shopping, anyway). When the guards at the entrance stop them, Laymia announces herself as Laymia Ul Turadia, the daughter of Radius Von Turadia.

The soldiers call her a liar, rendering her speechless. Furious, Crambe demands to know why they think so, and the soldiers reply that she’s too suspicious. She has no soldiers accompanying her and looks too poor to be a duke’s daughter, and besides, they were never notified that Laymia would be coming to visit.

“You didn’t contact them and let them know you were coming?!” I asked Laymia in a low voice.

“Come on! If I had enough money to send a messenger, I wouldn’t have had to skip out on paying for my meals!”

A soldier in armor decorated with gold emerges, demanding to know what’s going on. Judging by the extravagance of his armor, Lina guesses that he must be officer-class or even part of the duke’s personal guard. He’s solidly built, with close-cropped hair and a square jaw.

One of the other soldiers addresses him as “Captain Barrell”, but before he can continue, Lina cuts in and tells him that he needs to teach the soldiers under his command better manners. He retorts that she’s got a big attitude for someone so tiny.

The other soldier tells him that Laymia claims to be the daughter of the duke from Tyrell. Barrell laughs scornfully and pulls out a few silver coins, telling the soldiers not to bother with people like them, just to send them away with a little money. He then flings the coins on the ground in front of Lina and the others.

Lina is furious.

“I said, don’t mock us! You think you can throw a few coins at us and make a mockery of us and our pride and our situation?! And you, Miss Laymia! Don’t pick up any of the coins this jerk dropped! It’s disgraceful!”

“Miss Lina…”

“What?”

“I think you’d be more convincing if you weren’t picking up the coins yourself…”

… Oops!

“Oh, uh, it’s kind of a reflex… Even silver coins are still money–no sense wasting it!”

Moving on, Lina asks Laymia if she has any proof of her identity, and Laymia remembers that she does have a letter from her father. As she begins rifling around in her basket of crafting materials, Lina exasperatedly thinks she should have just done this in the first place. Having trouble finding it, Laymia wonders aloud if maybe she sold it somewhere along the way. Finally, she remembers that she’d used it to put under her flowers while applying starch to them, and pulls out the letter (well-starched) and hands it to Barrell.

Barrell pales, but, still suspicious, he takes the letter and starts to open it to see what’s written inside. Lina interrupts, telling him he’d better be prepared for the consequences if he’s planning to open up and read a letter from one duke to another without permission. Getting even paler, Barrell disappears inside with the letter.

After a long wait, Duke MacGarrell emerges with a group of soldiers. Barrell is not among them.

Later, the three of them, plus the duke and his five sons, are seated at a narrow table in a room deep in the castle. The duke is a seedy-looking, lanky man in his forties, with a short mustache that only makes him look worse. His children resemble him, with unremarkable faces.

The food they’re being served, in contrast to the grandeur of the castle and the duke and his family’s clothing, is all commonplace fare. The duke offhandedly apologizes for the solders’ behavior, and Lina thinks that they don’t seem too thrilled with Laymia’s arrival.

Laymia and Crambe appear not to notice, both staring at the food.

“Look, old man! There’s dressing on the salad! They really went all out!”

“Oh, to think that I would once again be able to eat a fish larger than the palm of my hand… It’s been so long…”

“And… is that chicken?! Oh, I wish I could box it up and take it home to everyone…”

The duke awkwardly invites them to go ahead and eat, since the two of them are already stuffing their faces. He doesn’t even bother saying anything until they start slowing down a bit, then says that Laymia’s father must be in trouble, if he’s sending his only daughter out on a mission for him. Blushing, Laymia agrees that it’s shameful, while stuffing some fried chicken into a pocket.

He tells Laymia that he will give them the amount her father requested. Lina thinks to herself that he must have mistaken her for a servant of Laymia’s in disguise, to be willing to announce that in front of her.

The duke adds that he’s not talking about a loan, either–he’s offering the money outright. Lina is puzzled, since everything so far had indicated that he was unhappy to see them (unsurprisingly, since they’d shown up out of the blue asking for a huge sum of money). She wonders if Laymia’s father might have actually requested less than she thought.

Wiping up some sauce on his plate with a piece of bread, Crambe protests that, regardless of how desperate they may be, it would shame Duke Turadia to accept that much money without giving anything back. Lina would have just taken it with a “Don’t mind if I do!” but she supposes that rulers do have to take things like honor and reputation into account.

The duke muses that he can’t very well go back on his word and insist on repayment. After a short silence, he suggests that they do something for him instead, since it will take a little while for him to gather the necessary funds anyway.

Laymia asks what that “something” is, but the duke says he hasn’t thought of it yet. Nevertheless, they agree to his terms.

He ends up giving them a simple job to do: deliver a letter to an old associate of the duke’s, now retired and living in an old fortress by a lake north of the city. The journey should take about four days, total, and the duke assures them that his men have eliminated the bandits that used to attack travelers along the route.

Of course, it doesn’t work out that way–it’s only noon on their first day when something happens. As they’re walking, Lina suddenly grabs Crambe and tells him to stop.

“W-what is it, all of a sudden?”

“Don’t tell me…!” Laymia looked at me with an expression of shock and horror. “You dropped your wallet?!”

Does she ever think about anything but money?

“No! Somebody’s after us!”

A muffled voice congratulates her for noticing, and Lina mocks them for staying hidden, asking if they’re that afraid of just three people. Taking the bait, they begin to emerge from the trees, somewhere between twenty or thirty people in all.

They aren’t simple bandits, either. All of them have matching armor and weapons–plate mail, longswords, and full helmets–and they move like a trained unit. It’s obvious that they’re soldiers from somewhere.

“Hmph… I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I don’t have any money to give you!” Laymia suddenly stepped forward, delivering her proclamation firmly.

She hadn’t had any money before, but right now, she had a bit of money for expenses given to her by Duke MacGarrell.

“Rather than hand over my money… let me apologize!”

“Uh… we don’t need you to apologize…” said one of the men, who seemed to be the leader, sounding puzzled. “First and foremost, we don’t want money, we want–”

“Our lives?” I interjected.

The man shook his head and said, “No. We want the letter you have.”

“What…?! How do you know about the letter?!” The shocked voice belonged to Crambe.

“I don’t need to answer that.” The man bluntly stated, “If you hand over the letter and don’t give us any trouble, we’ll spare your lives. We’ll even pay you for it.”

“It’s all yours. <3”

“You can’t just hand it over to him with a smile, Miss Laymia! You won’t get the money from the duke!”

“She’s right. You shouldn’t be so disloyal.” For some reason, the man was nodding in agreement with what I had said.

Laymia comes around and refuses to give up the letter, and the men draw their swords.

The story resumes that night, at an inn. Lina had taken care of the soldiers easily, leaving them to scramble to run away from her.

Eating some fried crab, Laymia says that she’s worried about the fact that the men knew about the letter. Lina responds that the three of them may have gotten caught up in some kind of plot. Since the men after them knew about the letter, it’s reasonable to assume that there’s a spy among MacGarrell’s people. Lina lowers her voice before continuing, telling them that she has a theory about what’s really going on.

Her guess is that MacGarrell is preparing to go to war against someone, and when the three of them arrived, he saw the opportunity to contact someone connected to his plans without the enemy noticing. She doesn’t have any idea whether they have the real letter, or if they’re just serving as decoys for other messengers, but either way, the enemy probably learned about them thanks to the spy in the castle.

Disbelieving, Laymia points out that the duke had originally offered her the money with no strings attached. Lina tells her that she’s being naive; the duke must have known that, as the representative for another duke, she wouldn’t have been able to accept his initial offer. Besides, it defies common sense to think that, in return for nothing more than an ordinary letter delivery, the duke would be willing to give them the kind of money it would take to fund the government of an entire region, even if he is related to Laymia.

Laymia and Crambe begin brooding over the idea. Keeping her tone light, Lina tells them not to worry too much, because all they need to do is deliver the letter as quickly as possible. Besides, Lina can handle anything that the enemy could throw at the group. Laymia and Crambe aren’t convinced, but then, they have no idea how powerful Lina actually is.

Finally, Crambe says that they can’t turn back now, regardless of what the duke’s real intentions might be. Laymia agrees, and Crambe continues…

“Then all we can do is continue on! We’ll reach our destination by afternoon tomorrow. We might be ambushed again, but who cares about that? If we die, we die. We could have avoided all of this if we’d gone looking for Lord Phraon and adopted him into your family, but what does that matter?”

Lina interrupts Laymia attempting to strangle Crambe, asking her who Phraon is. Looking sad, Laymia replies that he's a cousin of hers, an orphan who was, at one time, the only person other than Laymia with the right to inherit her father's title and lands.

Unfortunately, the chancellor had planned to force her father to abdicate in favor of Phraon, then control the government from the shadows as his advisor. Phraon wasn't actually involved in the scheme, but after everything came to light, people grew suspicious that he might have been an accomplice. Finally, he renounced his right of inheritance and left the castle.

Blushing a little, Laymia says that it must have been difficult for him, since he's so sensitive. Lina puts two and two together and asks Crambe if she's in love with Phraon, and he tells Lina that it's true.

Unfortunately, Crambe can't resist getting in another jab at Laymia, and the two don't stop arguing until late that night.

Notes

Not really much of anything, except that the story mentions Laymia using tape to make her roses. That struck me as a little... technologically advanced for the setting.

Edit: There’s one major thing I forgot! The word I translated as “chancellor” really means minister, but there’s a reason for that. The story hinges on how stereotypical the plot is (until Naga gets involved), and I get the impression that more people are familiar with the trope referring to “chancellors” rather than “ministers” thanks to games like Chrono Trigger. (That’s what the TV Tropes page is called, even.)

#slayers #slayers special #slayers special v.2

[suspiciousgay]

this is gonna be really funny or really fucking stupid

so @ohxfiddlesticks and i went on a lil midnight adventure so uh let’s begin shall we also this is probably gonna be super long so uh

oh and quick thing the reason it’s in text format and not screenshots is they stopped saving past the seventh pic so uh

broadway trash: i mean i can always rebrush alrighty i’ll see if we have anything that’s the equivalent to ginger ale

therapissed: Whoops

broadway trash: i’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure except not really it’s just bread anyway

therapissed: Yeah I’ll go try to get smth too Bringing my phone

broadway trash: *starts screeching out the mission impossible theme* DUN DUN DUNNA DUN DUN DUNNA BWANANAAAAA

therapissed: We still have that lemon from last time lma o

broadway trash: pfff

therapissed: We have oatmeal cream pies Which isn’t healthy probably but Damn I really need an emoji keyboard for that shrug thing

broadway trash: i’m like prancing around while trying to be super quiet what is this ballerina superspy bullshit

therapissed: Lmao “I’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure” It’s one lmao Oh we have bread Guess I’ll get that

broadway trash: I JUST COLLAPSED INTO THE FUCKING PANTRY IM

therapissed: Good job

broadway trasg: also good lord everything is so loud at night like plate shush

therapissed: Me @ the pantry door And the fridge door

broadway trash: i looked to my left and i thought someone was running at me i’m dying pfff same

therapissed: We have two radishes in the fridgs Fridge Why can’t I type fridge

broadway trash: ?????? well then

therapissed: They’re just like Laying there Not in a container or anything They’re just

*and this is where you imagine just two radishes sitting there in a fridge*

broadway trash: i almost dropped everything i was carrying hoooooo golly that would’ve been BAAAAD pffff

therapissed: I have two slices of bread and an oatmeal cream pie how did you get so much

broadway trash: ?? what??

therapissed: Idk you said “everything” you it seems like you had a lot Idk my brainsbdndnsnnfndnd

broadway trash: ohh *slams face onto the stove* nah i had some bread and got super hungry so i decided fuck it i’m making a sandwich and i almost dropped the condiments and the plate

therapissed: I could get saltine crackers *faceplants onto crackers* Oh ok Me, making a sandwich: Ok we got the bread and mayonnaise that’s all i feel like getting

broadway trash: pffff

therapissed: Mayonnaise sandwich i guess I found a ginger ale do you want it

broadway trash: sure

therapissed: *throws vaguely in your direction*

broadway trash: pfff thanks

therapissed: Yw It landed about 200 miles from you though Sorry

broadway trash: i misread that as the “uwu” face

therapissed: Lmao

broadway trash: oh well i need the exercise anyway

therapissed: “Here’s to happiness freedom and life” I hear through my earbuds as I make a mayonnaise sandwich at 1:10 AM

broadway trash: pffff same whoops ok the sandwich has been gotten now i want chocolate milk

therapissed: I filled my water bottle and forgot to bring it to the event lmao I’ll grab it when I go up

broadway trash: welp ok i feel like i’m about to get murdered every fucking noise is making me jump help something’s moving around down the hallway THE LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT FUCK IM A GONER

therapissed: Hey no that’s my job Being scared of everything

broadway trash: wtf when did i get mustard on my shirt

therapissed: Pfffft

broadway trash: where are the ghosts

therapissed: Shshshhshshsshshs

broadway trash: mother of fuck the towel keeps falling from its place

therapissed: SHUDH

broadway trash: STAY ON THE FUCKING COUNTER YOU DEMON

therapissed: SHUSH SVUSHSSDHHHHHH

broadway trash: SORRY

therapissed: ITS OK MY HOUSE IS FUCKING CREEPY THO IM DYING SHUS H

broadway trash: alrighty i’m still fucking hungry guess this is what happens when you eat nothing for a whole day wtf i forgot i had a light switch right next to me i was standing here paranoid in the dark for a decade doing nothing

therapissed: Lmao Where’s my water bottle One sec

broadway trash: okie then MOTHER OF FUCK MICROWAVE BE QUIETER actually y’know what fuck it *throws microwave out the window* uuuuuuugh it’s so fucking ominous i feel like i’m about to get sacrificed kill me now

therapissed: My bottle was in the sink under a few things but still full for some reason and when I took it out I died it was so loud

broadway trash: eH

therapissed: Yo do you wanna see ominous

broadway trash: uhh sure

therapissed: One second lemme get back downstairs bc I’m in my room right now

broadway trash: okie

*now imagine a staircase, like the kind from a horror movie*

broadway trash: fUCK

therapissed: There’s two lights on this stairwell and they turn on one at a time slowly

broadway trash: ok i just grabbed the biggest knife we have

therapissed: And that plastic up there? It moves a lot even if there’s only a fan on downstairs Also that pic doesn’t have all the stairs And to the right of me I have this

broadway trash: YEEZUS aAH NOISES FUCK YOU DEMON YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

*ok now just imagine a black screen, like a void or something idk*

broadway trash: it’s just dark

therapissed: That’s to the right of me Ik Bc the lights are off

broadway trash: CHRIST ON A BIKE WHY IS THE NIGHT SO SCARY

therapissed: And my kitchen spans one side of the entire house (fuck you open-floor plans) and it uses three light switches to light it up and it’s really creepy bc smth could come from either direction while you’re making food and you wouldn’t know And behind me where I was making was a really big window lmao

broadway trash: oh god i legislation just yelled “HONEY CALM DOWM” save meeeeee ;-; legislation good fucking job me

therapissed: Pfffft

broadway trash: NOISES HOLD ON KNIFE WHERE ARE YOUUUU ;-; I JUST GRABBED THE FUCKING BLADE OW

therapissed: I’m eating in my room which is still creepy but like fuck no not the kitchen

broadway trash: wow i’m a real fuckup when scared

therapissed: Same What are you eating btw

broadway trash: chicken whoops there was a single chicken breast in a bag so

therapissed: At 1:30

broadway trash: y e p

therapissed: Lmao I somehow put too much mayonnaise on this sandwich I’m dying

broadway trash: ok so so far i almost broke a plate, got scared of a light, almost stabbed myself in the hand, and almost dropped my glass which is still full of milk my night is going derek swell** who the fuck is derek

therapissed: Pffffft

broadway trash: maybe he’s the thing making all the noises if it’s not him it better fucking be my cat

therapissed: I feel like I’m gonna one day haunt this house and people will just hear the weird laughter of me texting people

broadway trash: pfff yes and same acutally

bob: i was literally gone for like thirty minutes what happened

broadway trash: oH SHIT HI BOB

therapissed: Lmao

bob: oml

therapissed: We scavenged for food and died of fright seventeen times

bob: i

therapissed: We’re like those fainting goats

bob: y’all need a supervisor

broadway trash: i just started cackling for no reason help

bob: like an actual supervisor

broadway trash: is derek possessing me

bob: I’m hiring a babysitter omg

therapissed: Bob you’re our supervisor duh

bob: i was literally gone for thirty minutes

bob sent a video.

therapissed: HDHSNFNDNSJF

bob: this is literally what happened inn the last thirty minutes omg why also jemmy u ok

therapissed: Wait lemme find a video of fainting goats bc that’s what’s been happening to us

broadway trash: THAT WAS ON FULL VOLUME I THINK I WOKE MY NEIGHBORHOOD UP DAMMIT ME am i ever ok oh fuck my chocolate milk got all over the stove ;-; nOISES-

bob: i oh my god

broadway trash: MY SISTER JUST SCARED ME SO BAD I ALMOST KILLED A BITCH

bob: ok also fiddlesticks I’m going to call u tommy unless u want another nickname

therapissed: HOLY FUCK I JUST FOUND A CALL OF THE WILDMAN VIDEO IM CACKLIN G That’s fine

broadway trash: my sister thought i was crying

bob: y’all need a babysitter and r u crying or r u laughing

broadway trash: no i was like nervously cackling

bob: oohok

broadway trash: i think derek’s possessing me

bob: ok

therapissed sent a video.

bob: tell derek it’s bedtime

broadway trash renamed the group “Flagelise, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles and trrible draaings that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed: TIM I FOUND US OMG

broadway trash: derek is our new demon friend

bob: please tell ur new demon friend it’s past bedtime

therapissed: Dude: *sneezes* Us: *dies* I forgot how ridiculous that show was I think the dude died by crocodile though

broadway trash: e H wow now i’m sad ;-;

trerapissed: Sorry But Are we fainting goats or are we fainting goats

broadway trash: no we’re fainting goats

therapissed: Good argument I take my statement back Bob where’d you go we’re gonna die without you

broadway trash renamed the group “Flagelise, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles, trrible draaings, and fainting goats that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed: Lma o Oh

Call, 3s

bob: what

broadway trash: WAS THAT ME SORRY wait what

therapissed: Nvm

broadway trash: oh what i’m confused

therapissed: I forgot lmao Tim are you still eating or

broadway trash: no i’m brushing my teeth

therapissed: Okie dokie I love TGC’s Tony performance wtf

broadway trash: i almost fell into the bathtub help

therapissed: . Fainting goat

bob: what are y’all doing

therapissed: We are literally fainting goats personified wtf

broadway trash: i’m dying

bob: jemmy no jemmy please tommy don’t encourage this please

therapissed: I’m not Not trying to at least

broadway trash: I JUST DROPPED MY PHONE IT WAS SO LOUD IM SNORTING HELP

bob: omg

therapissed: WTF TIM WHAT ARE YOU DOIN G

bob: i love u all but what

broadway trash: MY SISTER SCARED ME

therapissed: TIM WHY

broadway trash: HEY BLAME HER NOT ME

therapissed: You are a disaster But so am I So it’s fine

broadway trash: YEA NO SHIT HONEY

bob: how does ur sister scare you so often u were literally in the bathroom

broadway trash: I GET SCARED EASILY WHY DO YOU THINK I HAD A BIG ASS KITCHEN KNIFE WHILE I WAS EATING A SANDWICH

bob: why did u have a knife if u know u get scared easily

therapissed: Bc she gets scared easily

bob: doesn’t that mean ur chances of stabbing someone rises

therapissed: But

broadway trash: ye but

therapissed: She didn’t want to be stabbed by someone else

broadway trash: ye

bob: ur literally in ur own house

broadway trash: IM PARANOID OK

bob: ok fine but no more knife

therapissed: Yes more knives All of the knives

bob: no more knives

broadway trash: they’re right in my kitchen??

therapissed: ALL OF THEM

bob: tommy no

therapissed: Tommy yes

bob: tommy n o

broadway trash: and i have like two pocket knives in my room?

therapissed: Tommy y e s

bob: ok jemmy 1) no and 2) tommy wtf

therapissed: ;)

bob: g r o u n d e d

#just so y'all are clear broadway trash is me therapissed is oh fiddlesticks and bob is kufufufufu #help meeeeeeee #my skype chat is so weird #we got grounded #i think bob is our mom now