#sorry fuck i am so. i am soooo far gone i just. dont know what to do

[olliecoded]

i've wasted so many of their years

#it's like. i can't even kill myself because what if they hate me more for leaving them behind. #but i KNOW they'd be better off without me i know they would #i stole so many fucking years from them they'll never be able to have an adolescent memory without me in it #and that's so fucking unfair how selfish do i have to be to have taken so much. #to have STOLEN so much of their time and their love while being who i am. it's not fucking fair #like i just. there's nothing i can do to give back all the things i've taken. i can't i can't i can't #i wish i were better for the people i love and i wish they could see how awful i actually am #sorry fuck i am so. i am soooo far gone i just. dont know what to do #i hate myself so much and i dont know how to stop or how to be someone that people can love without sacrifice #hello world #vent post

[gayspock]

Gonna be cheeky and hit you with: all the TOS movies for the ask game

WATCH MY GOOFY ASS JUST GO HAM, BABYCAKES

I. TMP never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece i understand why the girlies hate tmp... i truly do. like- the pacing is bloody horrific, lacklustre dialogue, with bland introductions to ne wcharacters, and soooo many of its key elements ARE recycled elements from TOS. nonetheless, my love: whereas many LOATHE the long, drawn out exposition shots, i find the fucking visuals positively p*rnographic.... its ghorgeous.... bjeautiful<3. and dont get me STARTED on the love story, woven so tenderly into the narrative.. oh sniff sniff. its SO romantic, and i darent care what the girlies say for im oh so gooey... i truly am.

II. TWOK never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece i think generally speaking, of the tos movies i have seen twok definitely DESERVES its rep as probably... the best written one? i think thats what i hear the general consensus as, yah<333 its very good it truly is.<3 like its sooo solid- and I FEEL GOOFY NOT SAYING MORE ON IT, its just a good fucking movie baby!! genuinely iconic. and tyou kknow that scene fucking made me cry sniff sniff cry. you know it did....

III. SFS never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece NO SHUT UP BC SFS is one of my favourites ok sniff sniff... like- heavens above.... like- im going to speak my truth, here, yknow. i love the TOS crew- but in the actual series proper, a lot of them dont really get their dues, you know? and its a little hard to always click with them because of that- which is a shame bc like i do LOVE them theyre lovely little guys but yah... however between this and TVH literally i fell totally stupid in love with them all as a unit. is it a little artifical - oh so totally - but when they all just give up everything to just (as far as they know) let bestie spock Rest In Peace.... im going to kms. </3 like- the whole scene where theyre breaking bones out- im INSANEEEE FOR IT. PEAK OF CINEMA OF ALL TIME. and later on, like, gosh... ive considered getting a tat of the enterprise burning up in space, it sent me so beserk bananas. however this movie is also the fucking worst for everything that happens on that godforsaken planet. hi....... hellaur..... NO, bc literally i will gut whoever made those choices. demented in the head. saavik, baby girl, i am so so fucking sorry they did this to you. also rip david, i fucking guess? i keep forgetting he exists. christ.

IV. TVH never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece THEY WERE FUCKING INSANE FOR THIS ONE. THE MOVIE OF ALL TIME. YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE FOR THIS ONE MISTER NIMOY.

V. TFF and VI. TUC never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece I ACTUALLY still havent had the chance to see V and VI, funnily enough. i was going to watch them on my birthday- but thats been and gone, and i just kinda didnt... i wanted to save them for a special occasion (i got them downloaded and everything) but i really cant think when. some day. <3 im rlly excited for TUC lol

#egg yells back #Anonymous

[khaleesiofalicante]

AKSHJEHRJRIRV WHAT DID I JUST READ???

okey, I have so many feelings and many favorite moments and I just cant-

This was awesome!!! Like, I expected a lot but THIS?? I didnt expect this masterpiece

My main thoughts about it:

Kierarktina!! I love them so much!!

Lily is a Queen *chef kiss*

I cant wait to see all the problems Lexi is going to get in. She really has Herondale-Fairchild vibe

Brother Enoch? Still being a cinnamon roll (I dont take any critisism) (Also the interaction with Jace😂 "dont believe everything Jem Carstairs tells you")

LISTEN, I WILL PROTECT DAVID UNTIL MY LAST BREATH BECAUSE HE IS PRECIOUS AND CUTE AND DESERVES ALL THE LOVE

I would like to strangle Albert and the whole Cohort with my bare hand, stab them and go eat waffles after that.

Alec Lightwood is my religion. Like... He going when Jace texted him "I need you"? jahdjdjdh love him. He throwing himself when Magnus apeared? *chef kisses* Being such an incredible father and Consul and demanding respect with his Consul Voice??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

DAVID SPEAKING IN FRENCH! Could he be more perfect?

Lets not forget Jace. He is simply amazing and I'm so proud of what he has become and how far he has gone. He deserved better, but he is finaly happy like he should. FUCK IT VALENTINE

Also, when he looked at Alec, and he was like:NO, but Jace just smiled and started punching himself. Alec just like: *sigh* my idiot parabatai. And Magnus like: I could have volunteered for that

"Tu es le monstre, papa" and "Que c'est beau" (im sorry, are you trying to kill me??? I felt that in my heart💙💙💙💙💙)

And also all other things: Heline having a son. Tian finally getting married. Selena knowing french and spanish. Ash. Maia. Lexi's anklet in which Magnus place charms. Clace giving David all the love he deserves. Hugs. Sleppover in the library. Everything else I forgot

I loved it all💓💓💓💓you are amazing!

THANK YOU!!! I am soooo glad you liked it. I am loving the support for David. He is BABY!!!

#lbaf

[sukirichi]

i......honestly dont know how to explain how i characterize suguru JADN it comes kinda naturally ig?? plus people have different perspectives of him so part of his characterization is based on who's viewing him. it's fanfiction anyway so there's no right or wrong way to characterize him unless it's the author saying it's right or wrong and with the way gege seems to focus more on plot rather than characterization makes it a little more flexible to pinpoint their traits ykyk

tips-ish but maybe u alr do this/have ur own way but i'm still giving u anyway: (this isnt exactly how i pieced up his characterization when i write him,,, like i said it just comes naturally bc im so in love with him it's heaven and hell)

if you haven't, then maybe try reading his canon backstory and just anything that includes him. you can pick up little things like small habits of his or similarities in the stuff he says/does in it ! and then being mindful of how he treats others on his own consciousness that you can find in his moments alone/monologues and then what kind of people he's around and how they influence his actions if any.

also try reading fanfiction of him too LMAO there's similarities and differences in how people perceive and write him and maybe that'll help you find ur way to comfortably writing him

an example is i characterize him as someone chivalrous, kind of formal and gentle yet still somewhat teasing and playful with the way he treats others and acts on his own in his backstory and scenes that include him. at the same time i think of my ideal type (bc why not he's the whole ideal type too anyway he set the standards and theyre high as fuck) while also trying to not stray too far from how he acts canonically! it's like recreating a dish but adding your own touches to it to fit your own preference (or someone else's) yanno

if u've read the manga then maybe u'll get what i mean by him being like that :') ah i love him so much 🤲♥️

if this isn't what answer u were looking for i'm so sorry + i'm not an expert at writing so AHDJJEJ

i hope ur well and ur fever's gone <3 if not then pls get some rest and take care of urself

i'm rooting for u bestie xx

LILIIIII OH MY GOSH OKAY SO I FINALLY FINISHED THE MANGA AND LET ME TELL YOU...I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY YOU LIKE GETO SO MUCH. ALSO I DONT HAVE EMOJIS SINCE IM ON LAPTOP BUT LIKE DUDE OMG? HES SO? SWEET? AND GENTLEMANLY? AND SO? LIKE IDK, CHIVALRY AINT DEAD, GETO IS A SWEETHEART (CASTING ASIDE WHAT HE DID ANYWAY LMAO) omg yes totally! i know for sure the way i write naoya isn’t THAT canon. i like to domesticate naoya because hey why NOT. OMG AND ABOUT YOUR TIPS OKAY SO I READ THE MANGA RIGHT AND THIS IS JUST MY OPINION BUT I THINK IF I WERE TO WRITE HIM, I MIGHT PORTRAY HIM AS THIS REALLY CHIVALROUS DUDE WHO’S SO GENTLEMANLY AND POLITE AND SWEET BUT ALSO SO FREAKING SEXY? bruh, geto seems perfect, why didn’t i simp for him sooner :<<

also WAITT no okay just a lil story, I actually wrote about Naoya even though I never read him in the manga. I didn’t even read that much fanfiction of him I’m just basing it off the vibes on how much the fandom hates him and i find it so funny because im like haha naoya is awful so lets make him a lil tolerable, imagination is the limit anyway. also bro this “someone chivalrous, kind of formal and gentle yet still somewhat teasing and playful with the way he treats others and acts on his own” YES OMG HES SO FORMAL? AND GURRR OMG WAIT AM I GOING ON A GETO BRAINROT SPSPSPSPS I BLAME IT ON GEGE! also omg its so cute you like him this much UWU AND THANK YOU SO MUCH, fever’s gone now and i’m feeling great! and im rooting for you AND geto yall would be soooo cuteeee 

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #besties #GETO SIMPS SPSPSPS #im a geto simp nowwww omg #STILL LOYAL TO NAOYA THO #dont get me wrong

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 37

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: warning! most of this chapter is smut sooo yea lol i hope this is hot enough! i hope you guys like it and i hope i dont disappoint! thank you so much if you read, like, reblog, comment or message me! ily! here’s the ‘request’ i sort of added in this chapter! (sorry btw i didnt pick Mully i picked Louis i hope its ok!)

Chapter 37 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I couldn't help but glance at Niall the whole time we ate. I tried to get into conversations but in the end, all I did was hold his hand tight on top of my thigh and squeeze his fingers more and more as time passed. I couldn't stop thinking about what he had asked me before we joined everyone in the kitchen and it made me realize I really wanted to show him. We had sex for the first time only a few days ago but although I was extremely horny for him all the time, we hadn't done anything after that and it was driving me crazy. I wanted to have a conversation with him about it but we were always busy with parties, families and friends and when we would finally lay in bed at the end of the day, we were exhausted.

Everyone ended back in the living room or remained in the kitchen when we were done and after my third glass of wine, I could barely handle it anymore. I watched Niall, his hands in his pockets, laughing with friends, and I let my eyes roam on his back and his ass before ending on his thighs. It made me wonder why I wouldn't just ride him every single night and I put my glass of wine on the first table I saw to finally walk up to him, letting my hand brush on his back. He turned his head my way and sent me a sweet smile as I moved my chin up, smiling back at him.

"Hey you." he just said, bending down to kiss my lips.

"Wanna do something to make me happy?" I asked in a low tone against his mouth, raising my eyebrows.

"Anything." he replied, pushing his lips against mine again in an other kiss, making me smirk this time.

"Meet me upstairs in two minutes."

I didn't give him time to answer and left, letting my hands slide on his chest, and when I turned around to look at him, he was staring at me with a frown. It made me chuckle and I rushed upstairs, quickly getting into the first bathroom I saw. I breathed in a bit as I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to place my hair better. I knew I shouldn't focus on my physical appearance but it wasn't easy. Niall and I weren't in the same league and I was scared that at some point, he'd get tired of me and would want to have sex with the kind of girls he was used to 'date'. Love is blind, alright, but lust? Not so much.

Without thinking, I moved my skirt up and slid my panties down, struggling a bit to take them off due to my shoes, and finally placed my skirt back, checking in the mirror to make sure it was alright. I walked to the door again and moved my head through it to look in the hall. It was desert and I hooked my panties on the knob before closing the door. I leaned against it, feeling my heart skip a beat at the thought of someone else finding my panties hanging on the door but just closed my eyes and inhaled deeply,

I finally walked back to the counter and turned around, leaning my ass against it as I waited for Niall to come. I was more excited than nervous but there was still this tiny ball of stress in the pit of my stomach and I started nibbling on my bottom lip while playing with my hands. I heard a noise coming from outside and I held my breath when the knob started moving. I stared at it until the door opened and my heart skipped a beat.

Niall looked around the hall before taking a step back and finally closed the door behind himself. He looked good and the stress I had felt changed into lust.

"You should lock the door." I proposed, making him look up in my eyes.

He blinked a few times before doing what I asked and when he turned around to face me again, he moved his arm up. I watched my panties hooked on one of his fingers and hanging off and it made my lips curl into a smirk.

"Does that mean you've got nothing under that dress?" he asked, his eyebrows raised. "Are you trying to kill me?"

This time, I laughed louder and tilted my head, raising my eyebrows.

"You wanna see?" I asked, still smirking.

He shook his head slightly, not even smiling and i pressed my lips together.

"If I wanna see?" he sighed a bit, his eyebrows rising, and I chuckled as he let his arm fall back on the side of his body, his fingers gripping my panties. "More than anything in the world, petal."

I stared at him again and raised my eyebrows too until he took a few steps closer, pushing my panties in the pocket of his jeans. I glanced at it and it made something stir in my stomach but I decided to focus on him as he looked down at me. His body was closer, so close I could feel the warmth against mine, and I tilted my chin up to look in his eyes. His hand reached down, grabbing the bottom of my skirt and pulling it up slowly as his other hand slipped under it. I felt the tips of two of his fingers brush against the skin of my thigh, leaving goosebumps in their way until they reached my pussy. His lips parted and his gaze moved down to my lips before getting back to my eyes.

"You're playing a dangerous game, darling, are you sure you want this?"

I bit my bottom lip, an amused smile still on my face, and raised my eyebrows. I loved the way he was looking at me, i loved the way he was touching me, and i loved him.

"You said you like to be in control?" I added, ignoring his question and making him nod. "Show me, then."

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine, and pressed his body against mine. I could feel his half-hard cock pushing on my thigh and my eyes fluttered slightly.

"You said you'd tell me what you like." he whispered.

I knew he was trying to resist for some reason and I felt him grind a bit against me, making me whimper very low.

"Fair. I like to please." I just whispered. "I want you to do anything to me that will turn you on. Don't be scared to hurt me, don't be scared to try things. Test me."

He remained motionless but I could feel his dick swell against me. I got on my tiptoe to reach his lips with mine and kissed him gently.

"Please, Niall." I begged in a whisper, my upper lip brushing against his bottom one. "Fuck me."

My eyes closed when he crushed his mouth against mine, deepening the kiss quickly and making me whimper in his mouth. He swallowed all my moans and bent slightly to grab one of my thighs, hooking it quickly around him before his hand reached between my legs. I stopped kissing him and held my breath when two of his fingers slid quickly inside me.

"Oh my god." escaped my lips and I opened my eyes when his free hand reached for my neck, his fingers pressing on it slightly for a second or two before he let go of me. He stopped moving completely and I realized he was scared he had gone too far. I brought one of my hands to grab his that was sliding down my chest slowly and pulled it back up, wrapping his fingers on my neck again.

"Do it." I whispered, my eyes roaming on his face and raising my eyebrows. "Don't you see how wet it makes me?"

He just stared at me, his eyes studying me, and pressed his fingers again on my neck just not as hard. His expression changed into a slightly darker one and I couldn't stop my heartbeats from accelerating at the sight.

"You really want me to control you?" he asked, his grip tightening very slightly as I nodded quickly. "D'you know how bad I want you? You want me to show you what I've been thinking about all fucking evening?"

He didn't wait for my answer and brought his other hand to my hair, gripping it roughly and letting go of my neck. He pulled on it hard, forcing me to get on my knees, and I felt slightly dizzy because of what was happening. Niall and I had never really talked about what we liked sexually but this was beyond my expectations. I had never thought we would fit so well and the thought was making me even hornier.

He held me in place as he unzipped his pants with his other hand, and I helped him by pulling on his jeans and boxers. As soon as his cock was out, I tried moving closer to take it in my mouth but he pulled again on my hair and chuckled.

"Someone's impatient."

I pressed my lips together and after a few seconds, he moved closer to me and I wrapped my lips around his hard dick. It made him groan and I felt myself get wetter at the sound.

"That time you touched yourself in front of me and then sucked my cock? Couldn't remember the last time a blowjob felt that fucking good." he admitted, letting go of my hair to move a lock behind my ear. "Love the way you use your tongue, pet."

I looked up only to see him smirking down at me and I stuck my tongue out, tilting my head to run it on his length until his balls. His fingers slipped in my hair again and he moaned as I sucked on them gently and when my tongue slid back to his tip again, he pulled my head away.

"Do what you did last time, petal."

I was not sure what I had done but I just grabbed his cock with one hand and let my tongue slid in-between his tip and his skin. His fingers gripped my hair tight and he let out a few curse words as I kept going but after about a minute, he took a step back and I looked up, licking my lips. I was so horny by then that I couldn't talk and I just stared up at him, panting low and waiting for his instructions.

"Get up and turn around."

I just had time to get up and he grabbed my waist, turning me around quickly and pushing me against the counter. I watched him in the mirror as he moved my skirt up, letting his hands run on my cheeks. I felt his cock brush on my ass too and I held my breath, impatient to feel him inside me.

"Please, Niall." I begged low again, not daring to close my eyes.

One of his arms slithered around me and his hand slid between my legs. I felt his fingers rub gently and slowly on my clit and I let out a moan as we stared at each other's reflection. His other hand ran up to move my shirt up, over my breasts, and I quickly took it off, throwing it on the floor. With one finger, he moved both of the straps of my bra down and pulled down on it to expose my breasts before letting his hand travel on it. It ended back on my neck and I held my breath once more.

"You like that, petal?" I nodded and he pressed his fingers harder, making my heart jump in my chest again. "I love watching you like that, you look so fucking good."

His grip loosened but he kept touching me and I felt myself getting close to an orgasm. His hand moved down to my breasts and I felt two of his fingers run on my nipples making me squirm lightly against him. He moved his hand away to slap my breast gently and my heart skipped a bit in surprise.

"Don't move." he ordered low. "Let me touch you."

His palm ran on my boob again and he let two of his fingers pinch lightly my nipple, making me whimper louder. No one had ever touched me like that and I never wanted anyone else to touch me ever again.

"D'you know how often I thought about your tits when you told me you got your nipples pierced?"

I felt my whole body throb at the thought. I would have never guessed that Niall had thought about me that way before, at least not so long ago, and the fact that he was telling me that at that exact moment turned me on. I pushed my ass against his cock again and he slapped my breast once again, but this time harder. I desperately wanted it to leave a mark but I just whimpered again.

His facial expression changed again and I didn't want him to think he did anything wrong. I grabbed his hand and pressed it against me, running it up to my breasts again as my lips parted. His fingers left a burning trace on my skin and for some reason I didn't understand, a shiver ran all over my body.

I wanted to tell him that I thought about him all the time, that it had been like that for years, and that every single time I had sex with someone else, I wished it was him instead, but the words got stuck in my throat as my heartbeats accelerated again. I felt his hand press more between my legs, pushing me against him as I felt his cock slip between my legs. It made me realize that I was dripping on my thighs and I watched him as he breathed deeply through his teeth.

He let out an other curse word and his accent was so thick it made me want to cum. He buried his face in my neck, leaving a few kisses there before finally moving his head up and leaning his chin on my shoulder.

"I didn't bring a condom." he whispered, making me bit gently my bottom lip.

It made me realize that we hadn't used one when we first had sex either and even if I knew it was a bit naive, I didn't mind because I trusted him.

"I'm on birth control."

It sounded so weird coming from my mouth, especially at this exact moment, but I just stared at him in the mirror until he nodded gently. I knew he understood that I trusted him and when his hands caressed my arms slowly, I knew he wouldn't comment on it. I didn't want to mention that I had started taking those pills when Harry and I became serious but it didn't matter. I always used condoms with my other boyfriends but with Niall, it felt different.

"Bend down." he whispered, pushing on my back again and running his hands on my ass before moving slightly back.

It took only a second for his whole dick to slip inside me and I gripped the counter harder at the feeling. Nothing felt better than that first moment of being filled with his cock and I felt my pussy throb around him.

"Niall, please." I whimpered low. "Please fuck me, please be rough."

Instead to answer my prayers, he spanked me hard and my eyes opened wide as the stinging feeling spread on my cheek. As soon as the pain was gone, I wanted it again but I didn't have to ask. Quickly, his hand slapped my ass hard again and I knew my skin was turning red.

"Oh fuck..."

I couldn't help but closed my eyes when he slipped out of me only to push himself back inside me harder with a grunt. His hands gripped my waist very hard and i fucking loved it. It was incredible to find out he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

"I'm so fucking turned on I don't know how long i'm gonna last."

I brought one of my hands between my legs but he leaned his chest against me and his arm wrapped around me. He pushed my hand away and brushed the tip of his fingers on my clit. It made my whole body jerk as a moan escaped my lips and I saw his lips curl into a smirk in the mirror.

"Apparently i'm not the only one."

"If you don't stop i'm gonna cum." I just whispered, ignoring his comment.

I couldn't think straight anymore. All I wanted was to cum while he was fucking me hard and when he started doing exactly that, I let my head fall back slightly and closed my eyes. I thought about the first and only time we fucked and shivered, whimpering again but louder this time.

"Bite me, Niall, please bite me."

I felt his teeth brush on my neck as I pushed my ass against him to feel him deeper.

"Harder."

It was not clear exactly what I wanted but he started fucking me so hard I felt my body hit the counter with every thrust. I felt so close to an orgasm that when he dug his teeth roughly in my neck, my eyes roll back as I came, shaking hard close to him and gripping the counter as hard as I could, my nails scratching it and making a light noise.

"Oh fuck," he let out a bit too loud as he kept on fucking me roughly before he grabbed my hair to pull on it.

I knew he was cumming when he started groaning and his thrusts became unsteady and even if I had already had an orgasm, I never wanted him to stop. He finally exhaled, his eyes still closed, and leaned his upper body on my back. I could feel his stubble rub against my skin and it made my whole body shiver.

"Mm, fuck, that was good." he expressed in a whisper, leaving small kisses on my shoulder blades. "I didn't expect this here."

I felt my lips curl and just chuckled when I remembered we were at Louis' and my laughter made him smile too. He opened his eyes and looked at my reflection as my smile turned into a fond one. It always happened whenever our eyes would meet.

"I think we should talk about it." I proposed, making him nod.

"We should." he agreed low. "I want to know everything you like, everything you want to try, everything that makes you fantasize at night."

I laughed again and turned my head to kiss him. He slipped his tongue in my mouth and I felt my whole body burn with love as I kissed him back before turning around to face him. His body immediately pressed against mine and I let one of my hands run under his shirt.

"I also want to know how you feel. I want you to tell me if i go too far. I want to know what kind of lover you are." he added extremely low. "I already know you're a little minx." I laughed and he smirked against my lips before kissing me again. "But there's so much more to discover, i'm sure about it."

I didn't answer but got on my tiptoes, kissing him deeper as I wrapped both of my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. I could feel my chest rub on his shirt and I started missing the warmth of his body against mine. His palms ran on my sides and then on my back and I sighed as I pulled away.

"We may be too tired when we come back tonight but... tomorrow?"

His eyes roamed on my face and he smiled more, nodding quickly and kissing me again. I don't know how long we stayed in the bathroom just making out, me half naked and him with his jeans just past his butt, but it didn't matter. I lost all notion of time and it was something common when I was with him.

"We should go back." he pointed out, making me groan in disapproval as he tried to pull away from me. I held him close with my arms and he chuckled. "Come on, they'll wonder where we are. Plus, it's almost midnight."

"Noooo..." I pulled him closer and started peppering kissing on his jaw and neck, making him laugh.

"Come on, i'll kiss you at midnight, yea?"

I raised my nose up but loosened my embrace and stared at him. My face made him laugh and I just shrugged with a nod. He kissed my lips again and moved away, pulling his pants and boxers up. I knew I should dress up too but I ended up just looking at him, my head tilted on the side, as I repeated to myself how lucky I was. The only man I ever fell in love with was returning my feelings and we were so compatible that it did feel like it was written in the stars, the way he had mentioned it a few weeks before.

"Here." he said, picking up my shirt before handing it to me. I took it in my hand without doing anything else and it made him chuckle. He ran his fingertip on one of my arms, bringing the strap of my bra back on my shoulder before doing the same with the other. "Lazy ass." he mentioned with an amused smile as he tried to put my bra back into place and I nibbled on my bottom lip. He took my shirt back and passed it on my head, helping me putting it back the way you'd help a child and the whole thing was so sweet it made my heart ache.

He was affectionate, kind and caring, even more than when we we only friends, and it made me feel like my insides were drowning in love. I felt myself tear up and his expression changed into a worried one.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked in a whisper, bringing his hands up to cup my face. "What's wrong darling?"

"I'm good I just..." I swallowed to stop any sobs from coming out and licked my lips. "I fucking love you, Niall."

He smiled again and pressed his lips on mine.

"Don't cry, petal." he whispered, his soft voice reaching my ears and my heart at the same time. "I fucking love you too."

Without an other word, he took a step back and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him. I followed him as we walked slowly out of the bathroom and through the hall and I pulled on my skirt, making sure it was back in place. When we reached downstairs, Louis rushed to us with a smirk and raised his eyebrows.

"Where were you two?" he asked, not giving us time to answer. "Whatever, the countdown is in about two minutes, take a drink." he just added, handing us two glasses of champagne and turned to me to send me a wink. "Have fun lovebirds!"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes with a smile before turning my body to face my boyfriend. I tilted my head again and he took a step closer. His body was almost touching mine and i squeezed his fingers, not wanting to let go of his hand. Did that just happen? Did we just fuck in Louis' bathroom while there was a party downstairs?

We both heard everyone as they started screaming the numbers from 10 to 1 but our lips barely moved as we counted. We were both too busy staring at each other.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

I smiled more while everyone around us was throwing their arms in the air and Niall chuckled, bending down to kiss me. It was gentle and sweet but it was still deep and I closed my eyes, my hand still holding his tight while the other was holding my glass

"Happy new year." he whispered against my mouth. "To a whole year we'll spend together... a whole year where i'll love you more than anything and anyone in this fuckin' universe."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #hadnt written that kind of smut in a while #hope im still good at it :X

[scorpcorpse]

5/18/20 - type time 732-822pm

so yesterday i went on tinder just like i always do when im feeling extra bored and lonely. well anyway i matched with cute looking boy so he messages me. 

PS im writing all of this here because i feel weird telling my friends what was all said. i told them a bit but not everything.

so we end up talking, and surprisingly it was a good conversation. it was very random though. im laughing and smiling at my phone. my conversations die fast or are about topics i dont really care for. im always into the conversation though no matter what especially because i like talking to people. moving on, you cant send picture on tinder so he sends me his number while reassuring me that he wont be sending dick pics (yay). he’s ranting on and on, flooding my phone with compliments. we’re talking this whole quarantine to him thanking the universe he’s glad he’s talking to a person who is pretty and cool. we talk about all the weird interactions we’ve had on this app and how everyone is soooo horny. he goes to tell me he loves my hair, he says i look like the type of girl, in a show, if i had just gone through hell, and i were to run my fingers through my hair it would just fall back into over my face so perfectly. i was like wtf. i didnt know what to say because that is very very very far from the truth. i would just look like hell. we go on to talk about our personalities and whether we are more introverted or extroverted. he’s more introvert while im more extrovert. i told him though it kind of changes depending on the situation like if i was on a date or getting serious with a person. we talk about how we hate it when people are mean to others by telling others to be quiet when theyre being too loud when it isn’t bothering anyone (does that make sense) like if youre having a good time by yourself and someone tells you to shut up or be quiet because it’s annoying them. he said he would never ever tell me to be quiet. he’s only really loud when he’s excited or passionate about something. we talk more of our dating life, he has a bigger dating pool than me though. he asks me again for the fifth time later; how am i doing, are you bangin, are you sewing sweaters? he wants to know everything. this all has me confused and intrigued. is it weird that i feel like he is very interested in actually talking to me. he asks me if i would be willingly to break quarantine to hang out. i tell him quarantine is okay eh.. im holding up okay, i do need to worry about my big head that only has two brain cells left. i also tell him im the biggest broke bitch he’ll ever meet. he says i wont ask you to pay for anything so dont worry your big head. he understands i dont want to go out. he says we can just talk and hangout over facetime. he proceeds to ask if he can ft me right now. its 2am and i look like a fucking mess. i say im a catfish he says fuck it, im half awake and im not looking for looks. next thing i know he’s calling. we talk for three hours. 

what happens in those next three hours is weird. i dont even know what happened. well immediately i ask him about his tattoos so he gives me the whole run down of his tattoos on his arms. there super cool i like them. my favorite word is yuck and apparently that’s his too because he has that tattooed on his wrist. the meaning is sad kind of he said thats how he felt about himself when he was younger so that drove him to doing that tattoo to himself. he has another arm tattoo where he throws a small detail of him having it to remind him of his friend, his old life of being on the streets and being addicted to drugs. this threw me off because he brushed over it like it was nothing. i didn’t know what else to say. i said uh okay. i wanted to scream are you okay? are you sober now? how are you? but nothing came out. he talks of his other tattoos. conversation changes to him complimenting me again. he wants to see my while face instead just my eyes and nose. i tell him about piercings. he talks about his band. he talks about the punk community. he’s rambling but it doesn’t bother me because i like how soft and soothing his voice is. he continues telling me how pretty i am, like he doesn’t stop for like two minutes. at this point i tell him im not going to respond to you anymore, im not going to take it. he tells me to take it. i take it. i dont believe him though. he can’t see my body, he can barely see my face. i have ance and my face is fat. i know i look disgusting. as he continues to say nice things about me i feel like he’s lying because no one does that. i feel like he’s saying to just make fun of me. im hating all of this. i try not to blush. im smiling. i always change the subject when he makes me feel weird and uncomfortable by saying okay or alrighty anyway. he asks me where are you from, whats make me, me? i try to think of things to say. i tell him about my being in california with no family. i tell him that the one thing that matters the most to me if my relationship with my little sister and all my friends. he agrees because same. he goes on to relate and tells me he’s all alone too. he tells me his dad is gone, his mom is too. he’s an alcoholic. he’s sober now he’s been sober for a year now. he’s okay. i tell him im sorry. im proud of you and how far you have come. im always here if you want to talk. he says no no no no dont say any of that stuff. i tell him again and that i mean it. i really do mean it too. (IF NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE AND YOURE STILLING READING THANK YOU AND ILY, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH OBSESSIVE OR ADDICTIONS please be there for them, it gets super hard to be there but try and help them push through another day) we go on to more random talking. before i finally get sleepy and he says he’s gonna let me go and sleep. he asks if we can see each other. he tells me when he first saw me he wanted to fuck me but he knew that wouldn’t make him feel any better. he’d still be alone. he then decided to message me because he actually felt like putting in the effort to get to know me. not just for sake of fucking me but to know me like he seems to do a little now. he doesn’t much know about me though. he asks if we can talk tomorrow. he says i hope we can actually meet up and im totally cool with just hanging out with you and just vibing. we dont have to do anything. i just want to chill with you. i tell him thanks for telling me all of this. i appreciate it because many guys dont say any of this. i say yes we can talk tomorrow, i’ll text you. we can be friends and once this all settles down maybe we can meet in person. he then tells me, im only going to say this once and im never going to remind you again. im cool with friends with you but that’s not my intention. i want to be more than friends, i want to your person, your boyfriend. but until youre ready after a while of us talking and when it crosses your mind where you like me and think of me differently then we can move on to being more. i was just sitting starring at my phone in shock. i didnt know what to do or say. i was confused. in my mind i wss like okay yes we have a 2 hour text convo and a 3 hour phone call but what. you cant say of this after that can you. i agreed because it was the only that could come out of my mouth at the time. he says okay, my name, i’ll you go and sleep. goodnight. i tell him goodnight. we hang up the phone. now i turn my body around to my back on the bed starring at the ceiling saying what the hell just happened. i fall asleep. 

IM sORRY for my ramble. i was in shock and im confused and scared like what if turns out to be bad for me. but all the compliments, the soothing voice, the small hints well actually big hints of his battle with addiction. ps he also tells me about his anger issues and therapy. i feel weird. i slowly started to be seduced by him, like he started to seduce me. iykyk lmao. 

#rant #ramblings #scared shitles #addiction #new guy #ana #bulimja #skiny girl #i'm sad #loneliest #quarantine

[ashthatdrmmrgrl]

ANSWER ALL THEM YOU BITCH👩‍💻🤪

Ooh she's getting fiesty 😈😂 here you are, love ❤

1. What is your preferred place to write?

Laptop/computer, but since I dont have either anymore, my phone is my go to

2. When did you start writing?

I think it was 8th grade offically; my english teacher got me into reading and writing so that was the 2013/2014 school year I think

3. Favourite thing to write?

Idk, I like writing gay smut if that counts for something 🤷‍♀️

4. Fluff or angst?

I'm good at writing fluff but I love reading angsty stuff

6. Where do you usually find inspiration?

Ideas come to me in dreams, otherwise if I'm watching a movie/TV, listening to music, or just seeing something during the day will spark something.

7. Do you listen to music to help you write?

Yes! I would get soooo distracted if I didn't; that way I dont hear anything outside my head and I can focus on my writing (I'm listening to music now as I'm answering these too actually 😂)

8. What's the biggest "challenge" for you as a writer?

Finding time to write at all; I've got so many ideas bopping around in my head but life gets in the way 😭😭

9. Where do you usually go to write?

My room usually; it gives me privacy and a lot less distractions than my living room or outside the house.

10. Can you give us a sneak peek at your current WIP?

Yes!! I love this scene so much so you get to read it again;

My phone buzzed in my hands and I look down to see Sofia's face smiling at me. I pause my music and pull my earbuds out. 

"The Kid's calling," I say aloud before answering. "Hey, Fi!" 

"Hey yourself, is Steve available? I've got history questions that I need help with and he's not answering his phone."

I roll my eyes but put the phone on speaker. "Steve, Fi needs help with her homework."

"What's up, kiddo?" Steve asks, keeping his eyes on the road. 

"Stupid history homework; about the Commandos and I thought, 'what better way to finish this then get it straight from the source, old man," Sofia says. Sam lets out a small laugh and Bucky shifts awkwardly beside me. 

"Alright, shoot," Steve says with a shake of his head. 

"Original 7 members? I only know 3 of them off hand," Sofia starts.

"Easy, Me, Buck, Dum Dum, Morita, Jones, Monty, and Frenchy," Steve says casually. There's a pause before Sofia's sigh echoes through the car. 

"I don't think my teacher would appreciate it if I put their names in as if we were best friends," Sofia says offhandedly.

Steve cleats his throat awkwardly. "Right. Uh, Steve Rogers, James Barnes, Timothy Dugan, Jim Morita, Gabriel Jones, James Montgomery Falsworth, and Jacques Dernier," Steve reiterates after Sofia's let's out little "uh huhs."

"Why were the Howling Commandos formed?" Sofia asks next. 

"To eliminate and wipe HYDRA bases off the map; although it seems we weren't very successful," Steve says with a frown and I see his eyes flash towards the rear view mirror, to look at Bucky, I'm assuming.

"Who did the Commandos capture during a raid in the Alps?" 

"Arnim Zola." 

There was a pause and I couldn't help but look over at Bucky who almost looked startled that he had spoken.

"Who was that?" Sofia asks a moment later. 

"Oh, uh, Sofia, that was Bucky," I say, my voice cracking at his name. Sofia stays quiet. I check my phone and see the phone was still connected. 

"Bucky?" Sofia asks, sounding doubtful.  "As in Stevie's Bucky?" 

I feel Bucky almost stiffen in surprise next to me. "Yeah, that would be him," I confirm. 

Sofia stays quiet for a few beats again before clearing her throat. "Right, well when do you think you guys are gonna be home? I hate all of this cooking I've gotta do now that you guys are gone, not that either of you were chef's," Sofia complains. 

"I'm not sure, kiddo," Steve chirps from in front of me. I lean my elbows onto the front seat and rest my head near his shoulder. "We've got something really important to take care of." 

"Okay, well stay safe, and don't do anything stupid; Sam, keep them in line," Sofia says with a laugh.

"Will do, Half Pint," Sam promises.

"Well, I'll talk to you guys later. And it was nice to meet you Bucky," she says. 

Bucky doesn't respond, but the rest of us say goodbye before I hang up. 

"Thanks, Steve," I say, clapping my hands over Steve's shoulders. 

"Anytime; I don't mind helping the kid out," Steve says. 

I ruffle Steve's hair before leaning back and laughing. Bucky was looking between Steve and I with confusion written all over his face.

"So the kid?" Bucky asks, his eyes resting on Steve for a moment before looking at me.

"Yeah, she's great," Steve says excitedly and flashes Bucky a smile. 

"She's my sister," I say and look down to see Sofia had texted me. 

I forgot to ask while on the phone but could you ask Steve if I can look through some of his stuff that the museum let him have back?

"Hey Steve, can she look through the stuff the Smithsonian gave back to you? She didn't say what for though," I ask. 

"Yeah, no problem, tell her I've got stuff in the chest at the end of the bed."

"Cool cool, thanks," I say and pass the information onto Sofia. 

"Not a problem," Steve says as he takes the off ramp and turns left. "Sharon's just up here," he points out a black car that was pulled over under the bridge. 

Steve pulls over and ducks out of the car and greets Sharon with a smile. 

Bucky sits up and looks out the front window, eyes flickering across the background, scanning the surrounding area. Bucky's knees hit the back of Sam's seat and he glares at the back of Sam's head. 

"Can you move your seat up?" He asks for probably the 100th time this trip, sounding bored.

"No," Sam replies once again. 

I roll my eyes and squish myself against the window. "Scoot over here more," I offer, pointing towards the leg room that I've got behind Steve's seat. 

"Thanks," Bucky mumbles and scoots over so his arm is pressed against mine. It was quiet while we watched Steve and Sharon talk as she popped her trunk. "So," Bucky starts quietly, trying to exclude Sam from the conversation. "How long have you and Steve been together?" 

Sam, of course, hears and snorts out a laugh, having to hold onto the door for support. 

I felt my face flush and I reach over the seat to smack Sam across the side of his head. "Shut up, bird brain. Steve and I aren't together though," I say, turning to look at Bucky who looked embarrassed. 

"Sorry, I just assumed…" Bucky apologizes. 

"Nah, it's okay, everyone apparently thinks the same thing," I say with a shrug. "Steve's like a brother to me. Plus right now he's not swinging this way."

Bucky's eyebrows shoot up as he looks at me with wide eyes. "So like, he's..?"

"Gay? Yeah, basically. He still likes women, but he's actually with my brother, Graham," I say, pulling up a picture of Graham, Steve, Sofia, and I on my phone. Tony insisted on us having more family pictures even though we were the least conventional family on the planet.

"So being… a homosexual," Bucky says, almost sounding like the term was weird coming off his tongue. "That's openly okay now? I don't mind, but the 30s really pressed people down, so I didn't think Steve… at least I think, from what I remember," Bucky trails off and looks out to see Steve giving Sharon a hug before grabbing the gear from the trunk. 

"He was hard on himself at first," I say, remembering how weird Steve would act whenever Graham would say something to try and test the waters. "I think knowing and befriending Graham really helped him a lot, seeing that it's not a mental illness, that you wouldn't be imprisoned or institutionalized for it."

Bucky still looks at Steve, but there was a small smile crooked at the corner of his mouth and his eyes seemed fond. 

"I'm happy for him," is all Bucky says in reply.  

"So am I," I say, patting Bucky's forearm with my hand. "So am I." 

11. How many stories have you written so far?

Well I've only ever completed 1, (excluding oneshots) but I've got... at leave 7 going, a few that I've discontinued, and a shit ton of ideas that haven't been written yet 😂

12. What's your favourite thing that you ever wrote?

Well I'm honestly so proud of my Beauty and the Beast Lashton fanfic that I wrote and the only one I've ever finished. But I'm also sooo proud of 2 WIPs that I'm writing with the lovely asker

13. How many chapters does your longest series have?

I dont have any series yet, but my longest fic has like 200,000 words and no distinctive chapters yet (writing specific scenes then gluing them together)

14. What's your favourite character/person to write for?

I only really write Lashton or Stucky but I'm my cowritten books I have an OC be with Ashton Irwin and Bucky Barnes because DAMN they are kweens

15. "OCs" or "Reader" inserts?

I personally like writing OCs but I've been getting into readers lately

16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?

I suppose, but asker already knows since she's helping me write it 😂 it's a Marvel fic about these two girls and their brother who lose their parents in the Battle of New York in 2012. Brother is working for Stark Industries already when Steve asks my OC to join the Avengers but my OC and her brother keep that a secret from their younger sister (my friends OC). That's enough for now tho 😘

17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?

Question 13 kinda answered this question but its 200,000ish and growing

18. What fandoms do you write for?

Marvel and 5sos mainly, but I used to do Supernatural back in like 2015/2016. I also dabble in Shadowhunter stuff too

19. What is/are your favourite fandom author/authors?

Well the asker is such an amazing writer I love her work, um, @Larry_Lashton on Wattpad is good, @moonstruckbucky and @sunmoonandbucky are phenomenal

20. Have you ever written an AU?

That's basically all I write; I've only got one original piece and not many are real to whatever reality.

21. What is your favourite AU trope?

I have a weakness for Professor Seb/Bucky and I love stucky (and StuckyxReaders) so if you know of any hmu 😉

22. A fanfiction trope you can't help but love?

ENEMIES TO LOVERS FUCK

23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?

Shortly after I started writing, so like 2015?

24. Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it?

Absolutely! I usually loosely plot out the whole thing and try and hit the main points but by like... 1/4 or 1/2 way through depending on how long it is I'm like fuck I totally forgot I was going to add that (and by then it wouldn't make sense to add it in)

25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?

Listen to music, but I also read what I've got to help myself get back into the flow of the story.

26. How did you find out you like to write?

Like I said it was 8th grade and my english teacher showed me this new side of reading that I didnt know about and then I was like fuck I can do this too!

27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) that have inspired you to start writing?

Well I used to only read the Twilight series, but then I read Cassandra Clare's books, and the it sorta branched out from there, so Stephanie Meyer and Cassandra Clare are who you should thank for that 😂

28. What's your favourite fandom to write for?

Does Stucky count as it's own fandom? Because that ship sails itself man #ExceptEndgame #FuckingSucked

29. Describe your style in three words.

Um... smutty... gay.... fluffy?

30. What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written?

Well I've got one on Wattpad with almost 20k but it's a continuation of a story that has like 300k, otherwise most of my other ones on there have 4k actually.

31. Blurbs or drabbles?

Both are great, dudes 🤷‍♀️

32. Have you ever written smut?

33. How long does it usually take you to write?

Used to be I could get like 20 chapters (decently long ones too) in about 8 months but now I'm not really posting anything and I'm slowly working on a current WIP

34. What's your favourite font to use when writing?

Ariel, size 11, 1.15 line spacing. Veranda is a nice font too though

35. What do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?

I like long ones man; but I either write forever long ones or oneshots 😂

36. How do you keep yourself inspired? Seeing new things, listening to new music. Sleeping?

37. Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted it anyway?

I don't think so. I mean I've posted stuff that I wasn't excited about, but I don't think I've ever hated anything I've written

38. What's your "strong suit" as a writer?

My OCD with punctuation and formatting?

39. What's your favourite trope?

Friends who are oblivious to the other persons feelings so they dont ever make a move until they're drunk 🤷‍♀️ *40s Stucky bonus*

40. How many likes does your fics usually get?

300 for 4k reads on Wattpad

41. Have you ever used a prompt?

Absolutely! Sometimes you just need a little help and there ain't nothing wrong with that!

42. What is your weakness as a writer?

I am obsessed with the small details that nobody cares about (especially height comparisons) but I think that comes from my artistical side.

43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you wrote?

Oh absolutely, all the fucking time!

44. Have you ever done a collab with another writer?

Yes! Only 1 other writer who is also the asker 😘😘

45. One thing you love about fanfiction?

I think it's an amazing thing to write because people already have deep connections with the characters so you dont have to waste the first part telling their story (unless it's an AU, but even then it's totally okay to just jump right into it!)

46. What's your favourite emotion to cause your readers?

I definitely enjoy leaving them on the edge of their seats, but I also love writing fluffy scenes that make peoples hearts flutter

47. What's your favourite thing about writing?

The creativity and ability to create a reality! There's endless possibilities and that's so fascinating and amazing to me

48. Do you post your writing on other platforms? I only post on Wattpad, but I have thought about posting things on tumblr too! Thoughts?

49. What app/apps do you use to write?

Either google docs or just in Wattpad itself

50. One thing you don't like about fanfiction?

Some people get the characters totally wrong personality wise and that sorta bugs me when reading because I get confused

51. Least favourite trope?

Coffee shop AUs are a little boring unless somebody brings something new to the table (like one of them is a vampire or witch or single parent instead of just like OH this barista/customer is cute). But if I come across a coffee shop AU I'm not going to NOT read it, you know?

52. Favourite words to use when writing?

No? I mean I know everyone's writing is different and unique to the person but I don't think I have any favourites.

53. Least favourite words?

When writing straight smut I get uncomfortable with certain words people use to describe the female anatomy other then that no 🤷‍♀️

54. Do you usually like what you write?

Yeah! And if I don't, I'll change it until I like it before posting it 😂

thank you @scaryaryanna for the lovely ask and thank you to anybody who stuck around to read everything ❤❤❤❤❤

[doubleshotofdepressoplease]

Cool cool. I've been stressed as fuck lately and so I havent seen my friends in awhile. They know the amount of stress I'm under and theyve all known me for years and know that I tend to isolate while I'm in pressure cooker mode so I figured it's no big deal. Nope. Two of them invited me over last night and had a borderline intervention to tell me I've hurt everyone by bailing on our last few girls nights and how our friendships are so one sided because I'm never there for them. I feel hurt because I thought I was there, like when they would text to vent about some drama I'd respond and say yeah that's valid to feel that way and I'm sorry i dont send a novel in return but I'm in the middle of work and I'm busy. I took the time out to call you back didnt I? I send you guys memes and tag you in stuff to let you know I'm thinking if you, is that just nothing? That's my way of telling you guys I care enough and am comfortable with you enough that I dont think I'll annoy you with a text. ALSO I feel (or at least felt) like our friendship is stronger than me bailing for a month because I'm in the middle of classes and work shit all at once which I've told you about, repeatedly!! And, jfc and, the two that I had a drunken threesome with fucking hate each other now and one of them, your best friend ofc, is also pissed because apparantly ever since that night she has developed deep feels for me and is mad because I havent picked up on her hints and decided to confront me very directly soooo. I have no idea what to do. I feel like everyone has been mad at me for a month and I have been completely unaware and now it's just so far gone that I dont know what to do.

Sorry for the vent, will probably delete later.

#vent #drama #i'm just so tired

[survivor-mountmerapi]

Ep. 9&10: “I’m just--------peeing quite frankly” - Madi

Steven

Was I entertained by this tribal and Julia playing her idol? Yes I very much was. Was I about to simultaneously puke and cry at the same time? Yes. Yes I was. Can this game have one single ounce of something that wont make me go into tears.

Anastasia

We are so dumb and stupid and dumb and stupid. I dont know why we would all vote for one person?? ESPEVIALLU if the person knows they are going and especially if that person is julia and shes already rlly good at lying. we were all blinded by our mutual force to get her out and we didnt think it out heck frick. sorry moth this is so unfair. moth was trying to get julia out the most bcs julia targetted moth last season. why julia has a thing against moth in this game? i dont know!! anyway we have to get that girl out next round and we will split vote pls it has to happen we cant give up she has to go

Madi

im just--------peeing quite frankly

go off julia, you did that, props to you

Raffy

Julia playing that idol is the best and most iconic play in this game thus far. The dramatics of the fight to ensure that all the votes landed on her? Keeping the people who she knew would get skittish and snake-ish so she has a higher chance of staying next round? Literally, this all works in her favor. To be honest, I don't even want Julia gone at this point. I want someone like Ginnifer or Rachel gone for future security. Sure Julia will eventually snake me, but keep your enemies close and all that.

Ginnifer admitted ON CALL that she almost voted for Steven WHEN STEVEN WAS THERE. She also wanted an alliance with Julia, Madi, Steven, and I in the same call! Then, DeNara gets on call and Ginnifer ADMITS to wanting to create an alliance without her. I'm just kind of shook. Why would I want to work with Ginnifer anyways if she's been targeting me since the swap? There's no reason to other than being chaotic. Then, Julia transitions to pitching with working with her! And Madi is calling her out! This after-tribal call is a mess. But, now the target is fully off of me. Mwahahaha. These people???

Ginny

Moth was idoled out yikes but I tried to make a new alliance but it failed

Steven

Im trying to figure out what Ginny's logic is. First you say that you wanna target all the winners cause we are the biggest threats in the game. Then you tell me TO MY FACE after a wild tribal that you almost voted for me to leave tonight. Even after all that you then turn around and try to align yourself with the winners that you were just targeting to spice it up???????? Im sorry but Im not following this.

Julia

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AxVD3qWAkVmL_7fWiHERvNIg9VkKFS1W/view?usp=drivesdk

Raffy

According to DeNara, Elle wants to create an alliance with DeNara, Steven, and I. This could be a good back up alliance for the time being. Additionally, it gives us more numbers on our side if we ever need to turn on Gian and Madi. However, I don't want to do that anytime soon. They are great allies to have. Plus, they are able to think and are going after Julia. So, it should all work in my favor. I love being able to slip by each tribal with my target not being shot. I am thinking of throwing this challenge so Ginny can get the yeet though.

Madi

hi its madi and im being messy did I just text DeNara and ask her to be in a tighter alliance with me bc its gonna get to the point where the winners have to go? have I been reinforcing since the merge to anastasia that we are working together and that shes my partner in this game? did I just say “partner to partner” to anastasia that we should start an all girls alliance? did I also ask denara? me, denara, anastasia, rachel, and elle? rachel wont talk to me tho:( bc I “lied” so thats a speed bump denara also thinks she is the only one I told ab this and when I asked if we should tell anastasia she said that anastasia is a “blabber mouth” so “not yet”??????? am I fucking up my game? idkkk come back tomorrow thank the lords I have an idol if this blows up in my face???

DeNara

That awkward moment when you don't remember what your confessionals say anymore and you are repeating yourself a lot lol

Steven

https://youtu.be/2NGxkNjrGdk

DeNara

Soooo after Moth got voted out and Ginnifer decided to go a little crazy and try and make new alliances without us, Elle and I have decided to jump ship on the Lucky Charms alliance. She suggested talking to Steven and Raffy which was a great idea. I talked to them and they said they would be down with that so we are going to make a new alliance when Elle brings it up.

TEA. Steven and Raffy want to stick with our alliance of 5 with Madi and Gian because they trust them but Madi messaged me today saying she wanted to make a tighter alliance with me so we can eventually take out the winners. I am not sure if I should tell Steven and Raffy this or not yet, as it could end up worse for me if I do....

DeNara

You know, I should give myself more credit in this game. I have played the middle so well this season so far. I have an alliance with literally everyone in this game except Julia and Anastasia and Anastasia tells me things when I ask her lol I think I can do well in this game if I play my cards right.

DeNara

Oooooh so I made an alliance chat with Raffy, Steven and Elle. Sounds like we are gonna try and get Ginnifer out before Julia now. I did tell Julia I would try and spare her a round since she didn't vote me out o.O

Elle

✨A New Alliance Has Been Formed✨Me, DeNara, Steven, and Raffy ^_^ Which is great bc I trust DeNara, and I feel really good about Steven and Raf (I don't think?? they would betray us 😂but I am not sure of anything anymore lol ahhhh the post merge paranoia is real) I also feel really good about this challenge. I get to work on my layout designs for the magazine me and Madi are working on which is great! I don't know why I always worm in something I want to be practicing into these challenges lol, probs bc I'm prone to being like "I'll get right on that!" and then... not 😂 so the challenges are good excuses. I also would have Loved to make a tarot deck like the example ugh that seems so cool 😭

DeNara

So I told Raffy and Steven about Madi bringing up a potential tighter alliance and I regret it. I feel like that was something I should have kept to myself Stevenhttps://youtu.be/dWdKo0iuaV4

Raffy

DeNara created an alliance with Elle, Steven, and I. Steven and DeNara still don't want to tell Gian and Madi about it. Ok I guess. If they find out though, I am throwing DeNara under that bus so fast. Secondly, it seems Elle wants to target Ginnifer as well this round. I love ur impact. Now, we just need two more votes. One of them being Julia. The others possibly Gian and Madi if I can convince them. Rachel and Anatasia would probably still target Julia. I am trying to not obviously throw this challenge.

Gian

The way I ate Steven up on this lip sync. It was so fun to do! Im really happy we did this challenge :)

Elle

The judges are judging🎶 (to the tune of "The Lady's Improving" from The Prom) Anyway, I just want to preface that the first ad was supposed to be the only like, purposefully kinda bad layout in the magazine 😂 I was low on time and I regretted the color palette, it was way too saturated but Madi and I had agreed on it and I didn't want to be more annoying than I was already being about the magazine 😅. Also, I need to remember people read these afterward 😂 I'm incredibly bad at not just spewing whatever is in my mind sometimes, I feel like I might've overshared a couple of times but it happens! This probably counts as oversharing bc it's not about gameplay... yes okay back on topic I hope we win, if we don't I'll be okay I'll just be ticked at myself for staying up past 2AM but realistically if I didn't hyperfocus on that it'd be something else 🤷🏽‍♀️ atleast this was productive, I got to work on layouts a little (I mean technically I got quite a few layouts but so many are baddd 😭😭😭 like if a professor saw some of these they'd faint and then kick me out of graphic design lmao). But the point wasn't for it to be professional, so it's okay!!!!! I'm telling myself that so I don't go back and fix everything lol.

Raffy

The plan as of right now is to target both Ginnifer and Julia. Personally, I want Ginnifer out because she has been a very chaotic mess since the merge started. I would rather want that gone now rather than later when we no longer have the chance. I made the plan to split the vote 4-4 against Ginnifer and Julia. DeNara, Steven, Elle, and I (the secret alliance hidden from Gian's and Madi's view) will vote for Ginnifer. Gian and Madi know about this. They, along with Anastasia and Rachel, will vote for Julia. So, it should not matter who either of them vote for. However, it would be nice if they could vote each other. This plan does come with its risks though. I am willing to take those risks. And, if I get a bad smell, I will use my SWP to get out of the sticky situation.

DeNara

Well. Today is tribal day. I have been feeling worn down so much the past couple days and part of me just wants to be carried by others for a while. On the other hand, part of me feels like it might be time to make a big move soon because that is how you win. If Julia is still here after the vote tonight, then I feel like I just need to team up with her because clearly she needs to be blindsided. The lack of chatter has me worried.....like why is nobody talking??? Is it because they have all teamed up and are plotting against one of my alliances, or are they just tired and busy like me? I am not sure... I am suspicious that Julia hasn't really been talking. I know she said she had personal stuff going on but who knows if that is all of it, or just part of it. I am feeling the desire to flip on my alliance soon. Idk if I will because I feel tight with Steven and he plays loyal, but if I told him about Madi wanting to flip on the winners soon I may be able to do something... I kind of want to start actually lying to people, like... full blown lies... muahahaha! We shall see what happens if I am not blindsided tonight.

Raffy

DeNara is so paranoid. This is what she told me: "I am pretty nervous about Julia teaming up with some ppl and making a play tonight. Should we come up with some crazy lie just to scare her? I am not sure what we could say, but I am feeling nervous about her?" Like, do you want to become the target? Doing that is a surefire way of becoming one. Everyone is BUSY. They're DOING things. The situation only becomes dire later on in the day. There's no reason to be doing all this when there is still time to discuss tribal. I might just dip because I am not going to get punished for DeNara being paranoid. Like, if Julia wanted to target us, she would have already done so. DeNara is just... very taxing to work with because she thinks that everyone is against her. I feel like I needed to talk her down from making a move that would have certainly gotten her voted out.

Ginny

Ohhh girl I’m scared tonight I better not get blindsided because Lordy I got it when moth left and I wasn’t prepared whooo Jesus

DeNara

So I have been talking to Elle a bunch and someone told her about the split vote between Ginny and Julia. I am trying to play as though she is the one giving me this information, even though I helped plan it. I actually am feeling really close with Elle and hoping I can get far with her. I might make her my real number one with Steven. I like Steven a lot but I am worried he won't turn on Raffy when it is time. Raffy keeps getting a little frustrtaed with how hard I am trying to play this game (which is fair) so he may have to go after Julia and Ginny. I am getting concerned about these newbies though. We should take one of them out soon to even out the numbers. Also, I have been trying to get idol hunt information from as many people as I can and I remembered that Gian got an advantage during a game, so I am trying to get him to tell me what number it was since he didn't add it to our group chart

Anastasia

Me and Julia were paired together for the challenge. Since we're trying to get that girl out I didn't want to win. I was a little worried that somehow ours would win but we got second to last. Julia was sadly going through stuff in real life and struggled. It's good for me but I sympathize with her.. Anyway Julia is out of here tonight.

Julia

Ok so last tribal was so sexy the looks on everyone’s faces are now burned into my brain

Julia

I’m really hoping it’s Ginny tonight. I’m going to try to pull out some shit and hope and pray put nothings in my hands tonight

Rachel

i am so happy to be playing with such nice people. i really do be getting in my own head sometimes, but it is so nice to be reassured that i am playing a fun game and no one feels ill will towards me in anyway. i feel awesome to be supported by this group. i had a tragic event happen in my life this week, but plan to move forward and try to have the most fun while playing in his honor.

Julia

I’m at tribal right now and I feel like I’m going to puke. It’s definitely me. It’s been a ride friends. Julia out

Madi

So I got immunity, Julia went home. Sad but necessary. I really respect her as a player and would love to work with her sometime but just not this game. Also kinda annoyed that raffy called me out at tribal during the revote..... like yeah I came up with the revote but why call my name out for it???? like what is the deal with that. He is my next target tho so like hehehehe raffy its time to go. I am thinking we convince him ginny is going home and blindside him instead??? idk just thoughts

goodnight!

DeNara

So we just voted Julia out and I am actually sad about it. I am glad the threat is gone, but she was fun for sure. Now my alliance of 5 is standing strong, if I stay loyal...

Raffy

R.I.P. Julia, Queen of the Idol. The plan went off without a hitch which is pretty boring, but it means I have a lot of control in this game. I am excited for Touchy Subjects as it will be a very revealing challenge. If I had my choice, a newbie or Ginnifer would get voted out next.

Gian

My game is borderline UTR/Goat at this point and idk if that’s something I’d want to change lol. I’ve been feeling lazy >-<

[crystu-cii]

Of course!! 💕💞💕💕💕💞💞

What a MOOD XDD OKAY I FEEL YOU ON THAT ONE SHOT THING TBH- LIKE IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO GET TO THE GOOD SHIT ILL JUST GET BORED YALL--

wHEeze okay mood-- I actually went in my backyard with a mask on today(not intentionally, my sister sprayed febreeze and I'm sensitive to fragrances soo-- but the entire time I was like "wtf I'm telling crys about this later" XDD

XDD YEAHHH-- XDDD oms MA'AM GO GET SOME SLEEP WH..... TAKE A NAP MISS......

XD also baby jail- puts a laundry basket over him- there now I'm safe-- dangg never had a pet?? I recommend a dog(specifically shelties/sheltie mixes!! They're beautiful and playful!! And the type of dog I've had all my life :3) I.. ban?? Like ban ban??? Wh????

I am! XDD I'd (at least probably) say something if I wasn't-- of course!!!! 💞💕💞💕💞💞💕

Me too!! I miss hanging out with them :/ but so many live super far sooo :,D OH DEAR-- yeah nonononoooo-- Do Not-- YEAH better safe than sorry nO--

I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE PUMPKIN AND CHERRY PIES WERE DELICIOUS, HAVEN'T HAD THE BIBLE YET- AH YES PHONE WERE EATING A BIBLE HOW COULD I THINK IT'S CALLED A COBBLER-- XDD WH- HOW DARE SHE INSULT PUMPKIN PIES LIKE THAT-- /HJ it sounds fairly weird but hey if it's good than cool!! XDD

BUT tREEeEeeE!!!!! DO YOU NOT ENJOY DRESSING UP??? WHAT ABOUT THE CANDY SALES DIRECTLY AFTER???? WH-- AAAAAAAH HOW COULD Y'ALL-- XDD

Yeahh, I decided not to take any more creative classes in school anymore anyways--they don't suit me at all-- OH DANG-- YALL REALLY OUT HERE PISSING OFF THE CHOIR TEACHER??? DAMNNN-- XDDD YESSS-- awwwwhh :( oh well, on steam you can mood games sooo-- if you haven't asked for it, I recommend the portal games 👀 they're SO GOOD and I'll simp for both Glados and Wheatley, don't test me (unless you're Glados or Wheatley) /hj BUT THEY'RE SUCH WELL-MADE CHARACTERS-- BUT VALVE CAN'T COUNT TO THREE SOOOO-- (but there is a cool portal 2 mod coming out in April 2021(plus another from the past I think!) that looks incredibly promising!!!) and oooooohh I actually haven't seen much about it 👀 but from what I have seen it looks fun!!!!

opens calendar app-- can I just say it's so rare to meet people born in the early months-- like January and February, especially SO EARLY in the months of just unheard of XD I have a singular other friend born in January, on the 21st-- and I knew a girl who was born February but like I don't really like her or know her well so she doesn't count--

lEGITTT LIKE- im OUTTA HERE- xDDD

and omgg XDD im lowkey sensitive to fragrances to- when its too much and all- like i would only spray myself with perfume ome to three times while my mom is here doing like tWENTY SPRAYS AND IM LIKE "hEYo BRO I CANT B R E A T H E" /nm- its wild XDD

AND LEGITTT My mOm NEEEDS SLEPPP- quarantine has ruined her so hard- its ironic- I M supposed to be the rebelious one- XDD

WHWHWHEEZE B AB Y JA I L- XDD and yeahh- well my brother has an aussie dog (the one i said their name was also astro xD) but sometimes im just like- "yeah- thats my dog too-" i even mentioned it on a introduce yourself assignment for school xD and omg i dont know my dog types but i searched up what sheltie dogs look like and OMGG???💞 YESS A FLUFFY DOG I always dream of having a dog soo fluffyy- but i expect that it would be a pain to clean up the fur all the time XDD and well i MeAANn- not really ban but like- whenever i speak about pets at all to my mom- it would go like- me: we cant even have ONE pet? | mom: no | me: how about a fish?? | mom: wELL ***-BRINGS UP EMBARRASING ACTION I DID AS A TODDLER-*** ) so i just assume thats her way of saying- no fish. XDD

and phew thats good! the least thing i'd want is make you uncomfortable in any way ;w;; 💞💞 gosh- even hanging out with friends is like russian roulette- XDD before covid and all i would always go to Larie's house every single weekend because my mom would always go there every weekend to play mahjong (its a little gambling game) and i would just be like "YEAH IM COMIN TOO-" - like OMG- literally friend's moms being friends with your mom is just the definition of LIFE GOALS- and it would be so fun every time i go there too- my mom would play with them till midnight or literally up to 3 am- so me and larie would just do the most wackiest stuff- along with eating loads of snacks and watching random shows or anime XDD ahh its only months ago since it stopped but it already feels nostalgic xD

awh NoW I WANNA TRY PIEEEESS- AND ABHAHAHAHA "HAVENT TRIED THE BIBLE"- I GOT SO CONFUSED WHEN I FIRST READ THAT XDD phone: its the BIBLE | astro: its a cobbler— | PHONE: YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY? ) XDDDD

and LEGITTT- WHENEVER we ask them "hey what you gonna dress up this halloween" thEY woULd JusT Be Like "huh halloween whats that--" XDDD but they end up trying to celebrate it with us at the very least- xD anD YEAP WELCOME TO WHEN its the time of the year where the month names start ending with "ber" aka CHRISTMAS CHAOS TIME- /hj xDDD

mann for my school we had to choose between three music electives- band, orchestra, choir- i chose orchestra and it was AWESOME- until it was my last year and THE FUCKING ORCHESTRA TEACHER QU IT (it was reasonable actually- she had a sickness) and the cLASS JUST TURNED TO SHITITITHKAHTLQJF I HATED IT it came from my favorite class to the WORST in an InSTANT im SOBBING- but even the whole school is just utter bull- during that same year- i had six classes(a teacher for each) and guess what- THREE OF THOSE TEACHERS LEFT- LIKE EXCUSE YOU?? my 2020 was already RUINED before even COVID CAME like WTHHH- so yeah it was crazy- at that point we were all in despair and the school became more ghetto than it was before(everyone would keep saying "wErE In The GheTtO RATTATATAAA" every time we reach school grounds- its funny cause its true- XDD) yeah its crazzyy

and Oh YEHAH the mods are sickk- mods make my dont starve together gameplay so much better xDD and ooh i have seen portal before but i never actually played em- i think i was watching the walkthrough of both games just to try to learn what the game was about- but in the end- i forgot everything from what the heck our objectives of the game was other than to solve mind blowing puzzles- XDD but cAN i JUST SAY THE SONGS ABSOLUTELT BOPPED THO? THE ENDING SONGS STILL ALIVE AND WANT YOU GONE GOT ME LIKE in TEARS to how good they were- like i jammed to them for a long ass while xDDD and ohhh i never seen any portal mods before! i didnt even know portal mods were a thing but that sounds SICKKK

and omg xD and wth- now that you mention it- like- SAMEE?? real life wise- the birthdays are scrambbled up- but lately on tumblr almost everyone has their birthdays around the the "ber" times and this has now made me realize it- like omg- XDD

#the rambles of crystu

[edwardamcullen]

*slides 50 cents* Relate the Reputation songs to Twilight please.

are you…ready for it? :D i’m really excited to do this tbhReady For It

:D ok so i think we’ve all discussed that this is most definitely bella in her honeymoon when she was trying to fuck and edward was …reluctant. “in the middle in the night in my dreams you should see the things we do baby” and just the fact that she says “island breeze” reminds me of isle esme

End Game

i guess rather than discussing specific lyrics we can apply the concept of wanting to be IT and the one and literal endgame…to any of the canon relationships…actually “For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease. For all my flaws, paranoia and insecurities” in Ed’s rap could be Edward. :D

I Did Something Bad 

AHH :D i really relate this to Rosalie. “I can feel the flames on my skin, crimson red paint on my lips, if a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing, I don’t regret it one bit, ‘cause he had it coming. They say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good? They say I did something bad, but why’s it feel so good?Most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over and over and over again if I could” is SOOOO rosalie after murdering her abusers :D i’m proud of rosalie :D she did tHAT

 Don’t Blame Me

I’m thinking of Victoria actually…I know Taylor’s love is like purer than Victoria’s and James’ relationship but I just feel like Victoria’s rampage to avenge James’ death relates to “For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind. They say, “She’s gone too far this time” Don’t blame me, your love made me crazy if it doesn’t, you ain’t doing it right”

Delicate

:D :D :D I LITERALLY CRIED IN MY CAR AFTER THINKING ABOUT THIS….this is Edward in Midnight Sun 100%. “my reputation’s never been worse so you must like me for me” is Edward hating himself bc you know monster…and being like wow you must..really like me….if i am…what i am…and then “is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? cause i know that it’s delicate. is it too soon to do this yet?” is just really him anytime he feels anything and has no idea what he’s doing at the start of their relationship. ALSO ALSO ALSOOOOOOOOOOOOO the main part. The fucking bridge. “Sometimes I wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes when i look into your eyes, I pretend you’re mine all the damn time.” is so Edward i want to cry i can’t wait to start doing my twilightxtaylor gifsets again

Look What You Made Me Do

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and the furthest i went was just victoria like i had a plan of doing a LWYMMD gifset and just doing the chorus along with every single thing victoria does and like the newborn amy. but also of course there’s that one edit that compares Rosalie to “i’m sorry the old rosalie…” which was…amazing..that one was a good one. Also “I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams” is rose in royce’s nightmares and victoria in bella’s.

So It Goes..

I DONT KNOW LMAO. Actually…”'Cause we break down a little but when you get me alone, it’s so simple. Cause baby, I know what you know we can feel it. and our pieces fall right into place” could be anytime they miss each other and this could be ExB when they’re apart but idk why i’m also thinking about Jasper and Alice when Alice went to Volterra and they were apart. Gorgeous

this song is so ..cute…lol. like it’s just taylor having the biggest heart eyes for a guy and i guess that could go anyway with Twilight. Bella did curse Edward for his beauty and hated him for being so gorgeous :D

Getaway Car

damn…..bella x jacob. jacob WAS a rebound kinda even if it was never romantic but just “i wanted to leave him i needed a reason” isn’t exactly bella wanting to leave edward but wanting to get rid of the pain and she did that when running to Jacob. and then the whole “You were drivin’ the getaway car we were flyin’, but we’d never get far don’t pretend it’s such a mystery think about the place where you first met me" because obviously Bella obviously never wanted to get into It like that with Jacob it’s she was just …trying to ease her pain you know?

King Of My Heart

King of my heart’s concept is just finding the one. “and all at once you are the one I have been waiting for” can be about any of them finding their s.o. “Is this the end of all the endings my broken bones are mending” could be any of the after eeeeverything they’ve been through and finally finding /the one/. “I made up my mind I’m better off being alone” at the beginning could probably be Edward though. but the entire concept of finding the one is any of them. Idk why i’m thinking about jasper and alice specifically with “i have been waiting for”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

This song is really about Taylor’s anxiety when everyone found out about her new relationship and was scared that they weren’t gonna be able to take the pressure of all the media soooooo idk. The concept of fearing for the fate of their relationship is ExB and the whole “oh cause it’s gravity keeping you with me” is them and just…idk…you get me lol bc Taylor with her bf don’t WANT to end it but will “dance through an avalanche” and just make it as far as they can bc it’s not like they plan on backing down any time soon and they’re just gonna face the risks and go in with their hearts. 

Dress

alsdkalkja this is about sex and “wore this dress so you can take it off” so I’m thinking about bd pt 1 when bella showed up in her lingerie and edward growled into his pillow alkjdal i’m sure all of it can fit to any of them it’s not like the couples haven’t had sex and don’t do this 

 This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

friend. i don’t know. anything i come up with would be such a reach 0: but if you wanna go the funny route “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Because you break them I had to take them away” is Edward to Jasper when he almost killed her. that’s it and i don’t even mean that seriously bc this song is about having a lot of friends and it being really good and them backstabbing you so. idk lmao.

Call It What You Want:( call it what you want is him getting rid of taylor’s fears and knowing that whatever people say about them they know they’re good together and that they’re Solid and In Love but i guess i really can’t say much when it comes to specifics bc the lyrics in here are really specific to taylor and her rep so..i don’t know…………………. :0 the concept of not caring and just them loving each other though reminds me of bxe when they were engaged and married and telling everyone 

New Years Day

ok like i keep saying taylor really does get specific like this song is about waking up on new years day and spending not just the midnight of NYE and the celebration together but waking up together and staying with each other through all of it so. deeper in concept with the song i guess. is just them being in love lmao and knowing they’ll be together through it all

the end. my favorite relation was Delicate and i’m still very emo about it.

#Anonymous

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈

#episodes

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 10 | “Calm before the storm” - Amir

so jordan pines went home, and im at peace. he was acting in a way to actively be detrimental to my game, and he also was bringing this kind of toxic energy to the game that i'm very much glad to see go. i also have... never felt such fear as when jordan called me out of the blue yesterday KJHASDFJKLASLKJFAS also i kinda wanna write an apology to kendall here? i made this whole ramble at tribal about how we shouldn't make this game personal, but i've also talked about how i dont like her energy and this kind of stuff, and i just wanna apologise? i think i had mega-preconceptions of her and just because we dont always 100% click as people doesnt give me any excuse to be rude! im gonna do better, that's the mission. moving forwards, me and tj squashed our beef which is fun. apparently people think i leaked that lovelis was the vote to him which JKASDLFAS hello?! i sure did not. also i wonder who leaked to jordan that he was the vote? i kind of assume someone told tj, who told jordan? jake suggested devon which i could see. i think this round jake is going to want duncan gone, but i think i want augusto gone? i think amir is a beauty who i want around because we are winners and i also? really like amir on a personal level. and then kendall is sweet, and also i think less threatening, while i could see augusto being able to continue to wriggle through which is scary. anyway so: who i'd vote as a juror: autumn > jake > amir > devon > augusto > duncan > kendall > adam > tj ideal bootlist: augusto > duncan > tj > kendall > amir > autumn > f4: me/adam/devon/jake I LOVE Autumn with my entire soul by the way, but I also do think its becoming apparent that I... would be a complete clown to go to the end with her... but i also do not think i can vote her out, so i hope someone else does...anyway we will see hehe 

Jordan Pines really left… I’m gagged! A whole lot of buffoonery went down during the last few hours and I felt like I had to talk MULTIPLE people off a ledge when it came to flipping. Devon for whatever reason wanted to use his double vote and get out Duncan or TJ but imo, those are very easy votes and we need to save the double vote for something that packs a punch. Adam told me if we should join Jordan in his plan to vote Duncan (which Jordan never told me about so I didn’t want to make it anyway) but I told Adam that if Jordan stays, he’ll go on a revenge rampage and who would be able to stop him. Not only that, but I know Adam and Autumn are close so I told him that we need to build more allies/connections so keeping Jordan could alienate people from working with us like Autumn. Even with Kendall, she did not want to do it for most of the round but as sis had to put his foot DOWN with all these people because Jordan leaving really helps me. I feel I did good also at getting TJ to really trust me? I let him know that he could be receiving votes and that Jordan’s name was out there and we really connected on being scapegoated by the others that round which helped. It’s interesting xoxo

Amir and I were talking about being scared of making match ups for this immunity and then I was starting to think about the tribe dynamics and who might be working with who. Side 1: me, Amir, Kendall (Devon lowkey) Side 2: Autumn, Ali, Adam, Jakey (?) Loose ends: Duncan (tighter with Autumn and possibly Jakey), TJ (tighter with Devon, Kendall, and myself) Am I perfectly right? Probably not but that’s just what I’m observing tbh. I do feel good that my connections to certain individuals (Devon, Jakey, Autumn, TJ, Adam) might be pretty strong which is cute! What I see happening is that Duncan leaves this vote (which is what I really really want), Ali or Kendall next vote (Ali is THE move I want to make because he and I are playing similar and he scares me. It would only be done if me/Kendall/Amir/Devon + his extra vote make it happen. I can see Kendall leaving since there would be big Beauty numbers still in the game which I get. I don’t wanna see her leave because I adore her but in a way, maybe it’d be good for my game idk?), and after that Autumn leaving would be KEY. After that, it’d be me/Amir/Devon/Adam/TJ/Jakey I think? And I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m a Virgo Sun AND Rising, it’s what I do ghfjdksl

It’s like 1 AM and I’m bored but I’ve been in so many alliances for some reason ghfjdks OG Hathor: Bringing Sexy Back (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor), Leaning Tower of Penis that is also french (me, Amir, AJ, Connor, Kendall), Quadruple A Batteries (me, Amir, AJ, Adam), and The Soviet Oreo Cheesecakes (me, Kendall, Austin). NuThoth: Thots R Us (me, Amir, Kendall, Jakey, Scott), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), Sexy Procrastinators (me, Kendall, Amir, AJ), and Hehehehe (me, Amir, Kendall, Scott). Merge: dumb betches (me, Amir, Kendall), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), real riders (me, Amir, Devon, Autumn) Not to mention the one on one alliances I have too (me/Jakey, me/Devon, me/Amir, me/Kendall, me/Autumn [ish], me/Adam [ish], me/TJ [ish]) like I-

me after that entire round https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20 I had to take a day off Skype just to process but now that I'm back? Let me just say that was a masterpiece and some of my finest work. I really orchestrated Jordan Pines' demise from start to finish without getting a vote or an idol played a round BEFORE an all flash game round. I love that he said we've been planning this for a long time and I just wanna clarify. I ALWAYS wanted Jordan Pines out, I just never thought he would play into my hand that fucking early lmaaaaooo. The tea is I just wanted Jordan or TJ to be captain because they've been sitting on their asses all game and have never had to actually work to not be targeted or god forbid earn being in a good spot. Like the winners are awake, the POC's are awake, Devon's been to 50 tribals so he's awake, Jake almost died so he's awake, and Kendall knows she's on borrowed time so she's awake. Miss Jordan and TJ however? They're just along for the ride and I'm sorry if I'm not trying to carry anyone to Final 4 just so I get 4th. But no I had no idea that me organizing the captain thing would set it all off but here we are. These boys really thought y'all- they really thought they did something by choosing the bottom half of the list and hanging me and Duncan high and dry in the process wouldn't mean the end of that alliance. Oh OF COURSE it's the end and it gave me permission to now movely free about the cabin. That Jordan vote was airtight for 21 hours, got leaked, and still worked so know that I will be coming to collect my flowers when this is all over. AND it gets better because soooo many people told on themselves leading up to that vote. Between Duncan snatching immunity from Augusto after agreeing to vote Jordan and then pressuring Devon to vote Jordan in the final minute to Jordan going ballistic on the whole cast and people wanting him out just to have peace again, I have never been prouder of my gameplay lmao. I really turned on an alliance but got the allies to piss a bunch a people off in the process, which sealed the fate of Jordan, Duncan, and eventually TJ. I pushed one whole domino y'all and it done set the course of the ENTIRE merge I'm screaming God is really that good. Like all the men losing trust amongst each other?? Ugh it's glorious. Adam mad at Duncan for lying to his face and pretending that he never wanted Adam out. Amir mad at Duncan for never telling him about that alliance in the first place. Augusto mad at Duncan for snatching immunity all over Jordan just for it to get snatched from Jordan anyway. Jordan mad at Amir, Duncan, Ali, and the whole motley crew because "they were supposed to be friends." Devon and Jakey mad and want each other out because Jakey is onto Devon and they each want TJ to themselves. And I'm over here playing Veronica Mars trying to figure out who the rat is. WHEN I SAY I CANNOT MAKE ANY OF THIS UP But if there's one thing we can all agree on is that it's time for Duncan to go lmao I am getting NO votes in the end I love it. Literally name an ally I won't kill https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20

heyo so... im having a kind of upsetting realisation right now, which is that i think i'm setting myself up for a path that ends in me being a losing finalist. autumn is legit the love of my life, but rn my game is too autumn-centric, and then my information is like a one way tunnel to jake. SO i need to turn my game around, because even tho i think i can get away with my lesser game presence so far as a winner, i cant keep coasting. i think at f9 i can ramp it up, i need to use f10 to set myself up. i think adam/devon are going to be crucial to my game and my differentiation from jake. i am gonna make moves that go against his agenda, because i know i can. i have idols to force through what i want to happen, so its time i get that done. goal bootlist: duncan > augusto > tj > kendall > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/jake/devon/adam and i boot out whoever is the biggest jury threat

BY JOVE I HAVE DONE IT I HAVE TURNED ALL MY FEELINGS INTO MEMES!!!!!!!!! PUT LEAST TRUST WORTHY PERSON IN THE GAME? MEME HAVING TO VOTE OUT MY OLDEST TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND? MEME SPILLING TO SAID TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND THEY WERE GOING? MEEMEEEEEEEE PUT IN A CHAT IN ORDER TO SAVE TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND AND ACTIVELY CHOOSING NOT TO SAVE HIM? MEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PERSONAL ISSUES??? MEEMEEE THAT'S RIGHT NO LONGER DO I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CRY OR SMILE OR CRY AGAIN IT IS ALL MEMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJKDFADFJKSFADJKSKJDSDKSFMNVNVANFKKAVNNKVN MY SANITY IS GONE AND SO IS MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL OUR DEAD SAVIOR JORDAN PINES HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL This confessional was brought to you by Alcohol, Alcohol giving the support your family refuses to provide for you. 

Well well well....Going from 16th place on a unanimous vote to a guaranteed spot in the final 9 feels pretty nice. I've been able to leverage my double vote as a source of trust to others, and this could be the round in which I send out Duncan from this game. So ironic that he's the one on the bottom after all this time. I feel like I'm in a strong position in this game, but I'm playing with fire: - 2 person alliance between me/Kendall - 3 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto - 2 person alliance between me/Ali - 2 person alliance between me/Adam - 4 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto/Autumn - 2 person alliance between me/TJ This basically leaves my options past this round to Jake or a blindside. 

oh unkie dunkie. oh unkie dunkie. everytime we play together you underestimate me, and for what. literally duncan is pulling a jordan and trying to pull in the beauties as like.. one round numbers... like did you not see with jordan that that does not work hello? the beauties have brains and can see you are just trying to pull them in for a single vote like make it make sense. so duncan is gone tonight and im at peace. and then moving forwards i want adam around for the LONG HAUL. we had a great talk today and he is so fun!! i feel bad because i lied about the idol but hopefully i'll play it in a mutually beneficial way. i think a good f3 would be me/adam/devon? so the plan is bootlist: kendall > augusto > tj > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/adam/devon/jake (i think?) but getting jake to vote tj will be hard. but having all three winners at f6 would be PERF for me.

ok hello confessional time, ive been trying to cut back to like 1 confessional a round to make sure i dont just ramble on and on and keep the tea as organized as possible because things switch like a dime in this game, so to start, i think last thing i mentioned was how jordan was probably going home, even though i had told him to start a campaign against duncan, which he did and then i ended up not going with it hsfkdj love my mind, the bipolar TRULY jumped out.... however hehe now that jordan is gone, and since a lot of people already wanted duncan out, that could very well be the move this round. Devon is immune which is good for him, decent for me, i did NOT want immunity this round because i had it last time and 2 in a row wouldve put a target on my back considering i still have the challenge advantage from the auction and at this point everyone knows about it, so i made a really big risk throwing this immunity because of that and also because of how the challenge was set up, where if you won a round, you have to single out 2 people to be next, which would put an unnessecary target on my back and i still am trying to recover from my dumb lie, so it's about picking and choosing your battles, and after last round where someone went home solely based on shady immunity choices, i want no part in that! I'm also ABSOLUTELY trying to get my foot in everyone's kitchens serving you rachel ray teas, so that would expose who i do and dont really trust (which is pretty much no one ahkdsf), but devon winning is ok because i think he's with me (but idk i wanna trust him/autumn but im also well aware they're both kinda running around trying to play everyone a bit, so ill keep that in mind for future rounds) and now i just have to hope im not the target this vote, but i dont think i am unless people are even better than me at being fake the only person who picked on me in the challenge was amir which he asked me beforehand and i didnt wanna win so i gave him my permission, and now that it's almost vote time, things have got a little hectic, apparently duncan is trying to go around and tell people to split the vote between the 3 beautys besides me.....BUT THEN HE'S GOING TO THE 3 BEAUTYS PROPOSING TO THEM TO VOTE WITH THEM TO TAKE OUT ME OR ALI?? Duncan, strike 1 was throwing my name out 2 rounds ago, strike 2 was lying right to my face when i asked you about it, and now this mutiny you're trying to lead is strike 3. luckily for me i stopped being petty with the beautys and we're all kinda good again at least to me, so im hoping theyre not playing me since they spilled the tea to me all individually and duncan will be the only one blindsided tonight :) (love you as a person asdfh but game wise, get outta town!) also had some calls today, apparently people are starting to see me/ali as a duo....which while i do genuinely like ali as a person and i do trust him a little more than others, that could mean trouble for me down the line so ive gotta start causing doubt with people about that somehow, also me and jake spoke for the first time on call in years and...... i wanna be able to say that went good like i was making some jokes and laughs here and there and he mentioned he was making progress on the merge idol to me which kinda caught me off guard but he says he doesnt have it so we'll see.... also he seemed a little reserved, so im either a nutjob and being paranoid for no reason, or he's still got a grudge against me and ill have to deal with that at some point. But now is not that time yet, he did confirm to me devon has told other people about his extra vote which is funny because he told me it was just me who knew and has always been saying like "our extra vote" implying it's me and him 100% in it so consider yourself CLOCKEDT on that fib sir, unless youre lying to others and telling me the truth then carry on afshdkj also everyone is kinda figuring out how autumn is in good with everyone, and while i do want to trust her, it makes me nervous how close she is to jake because if those two together come for me..... i could be oop'ing my way right to the jury ... autumn is just giving me like kim one world vibes and im not trying to be her sabrina thompson even if i can trust her. I will have to make a move against her too eventually, hopefully im just around long enough for that to happen but anywho.... hopefully duncan goes tonight, im hearing he's just been saying me to people so i play my idol WHICH AGAIN I DONT HAVE. IS THIS HOW ELIZA FELT BECAUSE I SWEAR ITS JUST A FUCKING STICK IS WHAT I HAVE AT THIS POINT ....and if anyone but duncan goes ill most likely be soon to follow

Alright, so Damage Control TJ has been doing some work. Has it been perfect? Not even close. However, I think I've made some ground. So I started by having an open conversation with Duncan/Autumn in our chat with Jordan (I already miss you being here) and then with Ali who I think all had their suspicions of me after that last tribal. Can't blame them, but I used that time to hopefully get the target away from this next round and at least get a little footing. Then, last night I had calls with Devon, Augusto, and Kendall. They all agreed that the two biggest threats in this game are Ali and Autumn, which I'm so glad people understand this. So I think I've done a decent amount to connect with those two moreso than I had before (Devon and I were always close). And then I talked to Amir today, we talked for over an hour, and I genuinely cannot believe how much on the same page that we are on. Maybe I'm just being very optimistic about the convo, but I think I have another avenue that I could easily pursue at this rate. He basically made it known that he is close to Augusto and not as much Kendall (the exact quote was "I'm being put into a trio with the other two, but I'm not close to Kendall"... so like... yeah...), but even better he suggested a group of four between me, Devon, him, and Augusto which I think makes a lot of sense. It doesn't include my closest ally of Jakey, which probably is good because it gives me a couple roads to pursue, and it allows me to go after the two people who need to go in this game between Ali and Autumn (or else they would easily be two time champs). Yes, I know Amir is a champ too, and I will do something about that a little later, but for now I think this might be a good move to work with. So after this Duncan vote, I think I can make a move against Ali/Autumn (probably Ali by the sounds of it) and have some numbers that I don't become a target. But the question lies in where these idols are and how they will affect the next round or two.

duncan is so funny thinking he is gonna pull off this 4-3-3 blindside to send me packing... like it doesn't make sense or add up KJLSADFDAS. i'm kinda getting a rush and also getting votes is very good news for me because i was one of two who hadn't got votes yet hehe.

well.. provided i live through this 4-3-3 vote i should be set to make f9!! i just want to say how much of a king amir is, i had so many preconceptions of him and im so glad i could work through them. i think i want to go to f5 with amir/adam/devon/jake... they are five people who have been straight up with me and who i feel good about having in the endgame. autumn is the literal love of my life, but from talking to adam today, its clear autumn in the endgame is like kim spradlin. legit every single person trusts her and i'd be a clown to have her at the end even tho it breaks my heart. i would like to see duncan, kendall and tj as next three boots for sure. duncan is legit trying to blindside me so he needs to go ASAP jsakdfa. next up kendall, i kinda want a beauty gone so that their group is less threatening, because if i want someone like amir in endgame, i need one of the others gone. then tj because he is a loose end to me, plus he is gonna be a jury threat i just FEEL IT in my bones. but this all relies on me getting through this vote and who knows if that is gonna happen KJSDAF

If I go tonight! It’s been fun everyone! Thanks to the hosts for having me!

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Okay quick early round confessional, I kinda am like mind jumbled right now. Ali - Autumn - Jakey Ali - Autumn - Adam Tj - Devon Me - Kendall - Augusto - (Devon??) Me - Augusto - Devon Duncan - (on his own) Everyone wants duncan out, and like even I can’t trust him. He still is being fake to my face about most game facts and alliance, but he’s someone that would go after Ali, so I don’t want him to go, but it might be better to stay the course. I love him but this is what has 2 happen and It’s another round when me kendall and Augusto survive when we weren’t even suppose to survive one. Then Kendall is still a meat shield because she will get targeted first, but I want her to stay as long as I can keep her and I’m lucky I even got to keep her this far. If duncan and Kendall are the next to go, which like I hope it’s not but this may be what happens, then at the 8 me Augusto devon, his double vote and I more person can pull a move on Ali. It’s just going to depend who people are more scared of, me or Ali

Ali is literally Going to win this game 2 idols, an idol block, adam’s loyalty, autumn’s loyalty, jakey’s loyalty, secretly a comp beast, British accent, hes so likable He has all the tools of a winner And he downplays it so hard 

I am trying so damn hard to stay alert in this game But honestly I keep feeling like Ali or autumn will strike I don’t think it’ll be this round But next round, I think I’m going to try and make a move It’s time Me Augusto devon tj and double vote or me Augusto devon kendall double vote Don’t know if I can’t trust devon and tj Well we need devon’s double vote And I need jakey to be okay with it cuz if he tips Ali off, I’m gonna go it’s risky af But like we can’t just keep letting him win so Gotta make a move I’m thinking about if it’s better to let kendall go first To help Jakey devon and tj to feel better about it and ease them into it Because Augusto can work tj, we can both work devon, and I can secretly work jakey but jakey is a control freak and might tell Ali to play the idol but I’m gonna trust him This game a is a personal prison I am in mental torment If Augusto and I do this Ali plan for the next round after duncan goes this round And it leaks, it’s over for me But people were gonna come for me anyway So we should try this round is the calm before the storm cuz everyone is doing duncan Next round W A A A A A R 

I just tried so fucking hard To get jakey on board with blindsiding Ali next round If he tells Ali to play an idol, well! Good luck Charlie (I’m Charlie) He is talking about getting everyone in the game to split the vote on me and Kendall, and then me kendal him and Augusto will vote Ali or adam. So I agreed, and went and ratted him out to adam autumn and Ali, cuz I knew they weren’t gonna agree with Duncan’s plan so it was not actually applicable, so I have no choice but keep the course, and now Ali and autumn and adam trust me more, Duncan is gonna be mad, but he played himself into a corner. He lied to me about his alliance, and has always had different motives since he asked to work with me at the start, rip king, I feel so bad cuz he’s actually a really really cool person, but he’s about to get a rude game awakening 

#BackWithVengeance

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 4:

HOH: ANDREW

EVICTED: SILENCE 8-4

JESS: 

Pandora's box. You are kidding me right? I'm done. bye.

JESS:

Actually jk jk. I'm not done. Clearly this was an inside job. Two people pooled their money together and clearly got it. The real question is... will this get back to me or not. I'm so discouraged right now. I feel like for some reason people don't trust me? I'm going for HOH right now but I ALSO don't want to hear what other people think I should do with it if I get it.BUT also I should worry about that if/when it happens. WE ARE MANIFESTING THIS WIN LADIES! This are still too shaky in this house. I need more answers. I need more people. I just need a pint and a side hoe and I'm good. Everyone seems to be pairing up and I feel like I have no one to turn to right now. We got: Kristine and Chris Brien and Madison Eve and Mackenzie APPARENTLY: Dem and Andrew Austin and Silence Gwen and herself.. Kori and his "I'm in the army" references Me and my paranoia. THAT'S A LOT OF DUO'S in this game. ugh. I JUST NEED A PERSON someone I can trust. Someone who I know is going to ride with me for a while and I just don't see that happening. Which means crackhead Jess will come out eventually. So yeehaw. Also Eve wanting to take out people I'm close with like Will and Brien... no. NO. NOPE. Not happening. 

EMMA:

I think i am safe this week right now i am just trying to maintain my relationships in the house its still a little bit hard to see whos in power but i am told i am safe this week i hope i can win either week 5 or week 6 hoh because thats when those hoh effects the game.

KRISTINE:

IMMA TELL U WHATS UP!!! My life is a mess. I bought a property and Emma has the other one. We just need to find out who has the last one. And I swear to lord Jesus if it’s Gwen I’m going to be PISSEDDDD. That girl has got to goooo. I’m really nervous about Andrew being HOH because I know Chris is in danger and he’s literally my #1 person in this game. Me him and Emma need to make it through this round. I hate that Chris made an alliance that included Gwen and Brian. Since Brian knows our secret and Gwen is a great social player and honestly a comp threat that no one is taking notice of. It IS only round 4 which is fine but still... I don’t want to compete against someone like Gwen. Because I’ve trusted that person before and got super screwed. Thankfully, Chris agrees with me. Anyways. Please send me more money :))) my Venmo is https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2882981236572160313 PLEASE SEND MONEY

JESS:

Who gave out free samples of crack to the house? Last night I had a weird call with Eve. Essentially it seems like she wants Mackenzie to be given a power of the next property we buy so she can control the power via Mackenzie. I feel so bad for Mackenzie because when I've spoken to her she seems kind of discouraged about the way Eve talks to her sometimes. Which I totally get because I'm sometimes kind of shook by it all.  I reassured Mackenzie not to take it personally I just think Eve gets a tad bit overexcited with everything and kind of just shoots her shot. BUT. If these bitches think I'm their bitch they are GREATLY mistaken. In what world does me not getting the power this time when I literally gave up a property and money for Eve to get a power last time, work? If I was them I'd be throwing the power at my someone who isn't in the duo to make me feel safe and secure. I'm not giving up money and another power again, it ain't happening again. Kristine is all in my pm's now trying to figure out what is going now when it soooo transparent she doesn't trust me. Either Emma told her what I said about her and I not talking or homegirl really thinks that I haven't been hearing that she was leaking I was in a trio with Tawni and Gwen last round? Andrew being in power is good for me. He said he won't be putting me up, Eve wastes her power (although I kind of wanted it for us Chris going opens up the game a little more and takes a number away from the other "side" I see forming), and I think Andrew doing this will put some doubt into people's heads. This is all good for my game because it pushes another couple targets in front of me. My only concern right now is that Eve is going to expose that I traded her for that property.

KORI:

Alright checklist for the past 24 hours... Got both utilities to make the Monopoly... Check. Received the option to Open Pandora's Box as a result, and Opened it... Check. Is likely to get fucked over as a result of whatever twist comes of it... Check. Lost HoH and wasn't even close with Andrew winning it... Check. Was told that I was supposedly safe this week by the HoH... Check. Watched the Light Blue Properties get snagged with not much way to speculate who has them... Check. Missed out on $80 in Live Comps because I stayed after a bit at work and was driving... Fucking Check. I think that's everything, guess now I'm just gonna twiddle my thumbs a bit and hope Andrew isn't gonna nominate or backdoor me.

AUSTIN:

Su Andrew is HoH this week and he has nominated Madison and Silence for eviction but....I heard that he wants to backdoor Chris. I’m 100% ok with Chris going home because he always wants information from me but he never wants to give me any info in return. I was also picked for veto and I do not want to win because my Power Trap alliance wants the veto not to be used while my Mandela Monocles alliance wants it used on Silence so either way it goes if I won I would be screwed. Basically I threw the veto competition.

CHRIS:

HAHAHAHAH , if this isn’t a backdoor, I’m stupid. I know this is the case. For all that don’t know, me and Andrew are rivals because I targeted him in the last HoH competition and had people go after him. This caused him to be very butt hurt and a little bitch. Like bro , it’s a HoH completion where your dominating.. of course I’m going to go after you. I don’t care you called me safe, you are a threat since day one. Now I have Dem coming to me telling me all this information like bro.. what is you doing 😂. Thanks for feeding me information, you are not even in my final 5 but thanks for helping me ! This house is great and I know this backdoor won’t go through unless I’m over my head. Andrew , next time you have a chance, you should of gone for the head. 

ANDREW:

episode 4 So my plan for this week as of right now I’m gonna nominate madison and silence because they didn’t message me saying anything If chris gets picked for veto eve is going to use her veto redraw Hopefully veto is used by the winner I backdoor Chris Baby goes bye bye But also this pandora’s box is more than likely to fuck with me this week :/ My prediction is vote flip but i’m just going to carry on as normal cause i can’t ruin my game due to paranoia also my top 2 allegiances rn are Eve and Jess Lowkey scary that im not in any set alliances yet cuz i know there do be some probably But its okay bc it might work to my advantage later on when im the free agent that these whores need ALSO MARk my words here. If William nominates me when he gets hoh hes a fucking FRAUD he made a deal w me safety for safety and its a good thing cause i was going to nominate his ass instead of silence So far everything is going according to plan and Chris will be out of the house by the end of this week, Obviously if me silence or madison win there will be veto use William said he would use veto aswell Only thing: i’m rly bad at puzzles I lowkey hate that I talk so much in the house chat but I cant help it............I dont want peeps to think im annoying...Sorry I just wnt to contribute to everything its like a disease There is no better feeling than having Chris shake in his boots :heart: You rly fucked with the wrong twink babe He thinks he has the votes to stay. I just have to laugh Especially since he tried to discredit me telling him I was a threat to his game with the simple words of "Bet" Bitch Ill show u bet rq. This is gonna be a split vote i cant wait for this to potentially blow up in my face I am deadass providing a list for SIlence on people he needs to campaign to Like this bitch is not leaving the house My loyalties 

GWEN:

I really want Chris to stay. We’ve become really close in this game. People don’t know how close we actually are. If they did, my alliance would probably just want him out. The vote will be split, and sides will be chosen. Eve is trying to threaten everyone into voting Chris out. She is saying it’s a unanimous vote. Please. It’s clearly split. She needs to goooooo. Please please Chris stay!!

JESS:

What a fucking mess this vote is. This is what happens when cocky people get cocky and assume they have people on lock. I adore Eve and Andrew but... they should have thought this out a little better. I just.. I'm just.. I'm fucking livid. I don't get where Miss Thing Evelyn gets off saying stuff like "That’s my plea, stick your neck out and you will be rewarded". What are you going to reward me with? You warming the seat on the block for me after I'm gone because I sided with you? Thanks but if I wanted a seat warmer I'd go to Target not Walmart. But in all honesty, it's not like I don't want to do this move. I 10000% was into the idea but that's because I was sold the dream of it. I thought Andrew had more pull than he actually does. I knew Eve didn't have as much pull as she thought but Andrew I was wrong about. I was in a decent spot. I think? Kind of cruising the middle and now that spot is being blown up because it is CLEAR Andrew/Eve don't want to be the only ones to take the fall for this move. BUT.. I don't trust Dem to 1000% not get paranoid and flip and I don't want to be sitting on the sinking ship fucking alone. Dem is apparently going to just vote Chris so I guess I'm going to vote for Chris and hope for the best at this point. 

AUSTIN:

This week has been CRAZY! Basically Andrew won HoH and he wants Chris gone but he wants to backdoor him so he puts up Madison and Silence. Madison ends up winning the veto and Andrew replaces her spot with Chris. My dilemma is that I am in an alliance with Chris and Silence. I think Chris needs to go first because he is very sketchy. Also Silence can go next week easily. On top of all of this, I have been put in 2 alliances that I didn’t even know were forming. Each alliance wants somebody different to go home but I’m hoping that we have enough votes to evict Chris. 

JESS:

Also Brien is a shady ass hoe and I will be exposing his relationship if he fucks me with this vote. Plus, I knew his ass bought a property and traded it Emma with Kristine and didn't tell me. He's keeping secrets from me and I'm not playing this game like season 1 Sansa I'm playing this game like last season Cersei. No fucks given. I'll probably die soon. His ass is playing the middle and if I win he is going UP. Sorry but this isn't the Bachelor it is BIG BROTHER.

WILLIAM:

I'm so excited cause it looks like this is the vote that will get the game going! I love everyone and want to stay together but like I'm so ready to draw this line in the sand and cause some chaos going!

WILLIAM:

I dont know what Eve's deal is with this threatening game tactic, telling people "The vote will be 12-0" or "Is you dont vote with me it will be a mistake" but I cant wait to see her face come eviction night 😈

KRISTINE:

Absolutely no way in hell i'm letting Chris get evicted. I refuse to let my #1 ally go home because of Andrew's ego being bruised. I'm hoping that my deal with Emma and Brien goes through and that she is able to use the power to basically threaten everyone into voting the way that they said they were going to vote. Again, I REFUSE to let Chris go home this week. Not that I have anything against Silence because he's just like... there but I'm more worried about who is staying versus who needs to go. Anyways, Emma better not be lying about using this power now... or else I will come for her. Chris is like my little brother who is older then me and I will protect him at all costs that I can!

EMMA:

MACKENZIE:

i am NOT looking forward to this vote??? i still don’t know what im doing but i think this is going to be a shitshow

KORI:

So Kristine has dropped a shit load of Tea on me, which has led me to question everything. APPARENTLY there's a Gwen-Chris-Kristine-Brien Alliance. Additionally there was a Chris-Austin-Dem-Kristine alliance. (Though that 2nd one is kaputz with Austin wanting Chris out and Dem being upset with Austin.) Emma got that Vote Reveal which presumably, Myself and Jess know, and I can only imagine Kristine and Brien probably know given they were the other Light Blue property holders that both agreed to give the properties to Emma. So at the very least that's not a power I have to outright fear because I know who has it, I know what the Utilities did. (Sortof, still waiting on that Pandora's Box) The Browns are presumably gone assuming that Veto Shuffle was a one time thing. (That power honestly makes sense since Early on it's Useful but later in the game it'd be worthless.) Unfortunately either Eve or me is being hustled and given that Eve has a biased opinion others know about in relation to this vote, I'm liable to believe more people would lie to Eve about voting Chris than me just because I'm not a biased person right now. If it weren't for the heart to heart me and Chris had as well as really hashing it out with Gwen I don't think I'd be keeping Chris, however based on what I know about the Chris-Dem-Kristine relationship (Thanks Kristine) I doubt Dem was actually with Eve for the vote anyway, which means for Chris to go I'd have had to convince either Gwen or Emma to vote him out which we all know is against their best interests. My best bet right now is to try and recover from any blunders from this round with as much social capital I can walk away with and hope whatever happens with Pandora's Box doesn't just completely screw me over. I'm just ready for this headache of a week to be over, but given it's a live comp next, I'm expecting this next round to be just as trash.

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 5: "I just can't believe I did 4 hours of calls for a tribal that literally didn't happen." - Ali

THIS IS UNETHICAL. WE PREPARED FOR THE MOST CRACKED TRIBAL IN HISTORY AND DIDN'T EVEN GO SAKJLDFAFF.

in other news, i think benj flipped and honestly good for him! i think its smart, mitch, michael and noah are all messes. i'm feeling SO much better about my spot in the game, like we can hopefully keep voting JJ till we go to a tribal, and I can start trying to build those cross-tribe connections YAY. 

in other news, MO IS DOING SO GOOD I THINK! like i think he doesn't like me anymore after the last time i hosted him, but i'm super super proud of him for doing his thing this season yay yay!

i just can't believe i did 4 hours of calls for a tribal that literally didn't happen, I'm truly screaming... now the test is how long it takes JJ to find out EEEEEK.

IM SORRY. Excuse me but IM SORRY. Why do people keep targeting me. LIKE HELLO IM NICE. Plus I think I'm being pretty genuine. Thank god for Benj, my social game is coming IN HARD. Mitch and Michael totally bold faced lied to me. Mitch even said that he wanted us to be strong together, BUT right after tribal he was said "I must say I'm really sorry."  OOOOOOF STrong OOOF

What's on my mind you ask? The fact that budva won the challenge when the lyrics didnt match what they were lip syncing OOP

but also Serious confessional time woop woop! For starters, I fricked up HARDCORE. First thing i said is that i would target Noah if we ever went to tribal and what do i do? Yeah, lets go for Caleb :D. Tribal Lines. REEEE! Now all of the og doormentors dont trust me which is just great (woohooo)!!!! Big rip to my g Noah. I actually thought we might have had something going if we just won immunity but things happen. We were so robbed in the music video challenge ugh (looks at hosts who arent named alyssa or nicole). Anywhoooo yeah despite me lying to half of the people here, they all like me well enough so i dont think im going anywhere anytime soon. Im a social icon so be ready for more of meeeeeeeee

Soooo..... that happened

It was kinda lucky I was in a movie for 2 hours after the deadline so I didn't have to face immediate backlash lmao but there wasn't that much, mitch was pretty chill about it what a king, if I can help it id want it to be Michael next over him, speaking of Michael he hasn't talked to me about it or much before so we shall see where that goes...

Our video was ROBBED even with the penalty

I love the other 4 and I hope they don't end up fucking me over... hehe

I bet the other budvas on the other tribe are wondering who flipped JKFJS

But ya I just hope we can win cuz if we keep losing its bound to be me eventually but I feel like doing this if I make merge def gives me more options than others cuz ill have these 4 og greens who now trust me and then my old friends from budva who I didn't betray like ali and ian who im excited to reunite with

so ya we will see how it works out !

I told Alex lol

It has been a HOT minute.

First of I can’t believe punctuality defeated Alex. I am shook. I deadass thought we were gonna lose. Like on call with Tom he jokingly mentioned that what if we actually won immunity amidst all the scheming, plotting and lying that has happened this round. I am just blown away. And now Noah is gone and presumably someone from OG budva flopped? I’m thinking it’s Mitch tho hmmm. Kinda hoping Benj is safe!!

On another note tho, like here’s some interesting tea!!  *insert sc of convo with Tom I sent hehehehe* (Johnny note: ^ you can ask ian about this idk what hes talkin about)

Like Omg JJ would have been 100% going if we went to tribal?? There was going to be no revote because Jules, Tom and presumably Evan flipped at the last minute. I am screaming!! Ali really got through to Jules making it look that JJ is a hot crazy mess. Like I am just screaming tbh. I love OG Budva Baes, I really feel thankful to have been swapped with like not shady people from my og tribe hehehe

So rn if we do end up going to tribal council, I do hope the plan is still JJ and either Tom or Jules still flips on him. Hopefully those three are keeping quiet about their flip so we can get JJ out of this game.

On a different note, like I know he’s a threat and all but I’m really liking Tom. It’s really just the Straight Connection™ ahsjdjd Like idk I just want to align with Aussie’s and all hahaha. Jason and I are planning on forming like a side alliance with Tom and possibly Evan lol. I did promise Tom I was gonna have his back if he flipped and tho the flip didn’t happen because we won immunity, I still plan on doing that but I better keep my eye on Tom tho because I don’t want him to be my UgH Brett this season.

Me and Ali are doing an EXCELLENT job at acting like we don't know each other and going deep undercover in our tribe, like, if I'm gonna be proud of anything in this game so far it'll be that and not being first boot. But mostly that. I really hope that we go far together in this game with Julia because I think the three of us could make a really good team.

C*befield is a cursed game!! literally had my laptop opened for hours doing the trick tom told us in the chat and when I finally stopped at 15B the hosts says it’s in invalid because it needs to be the game over screen but the game literally glitched so I keep going on to infinity without hitting cubes or getting game over Grrr

RIP mine and Ali’s laptop

Also Tom is drunk on the tribe chat rn. Now we just need Julia to be drunk ahsjdjd

okay Evan I see you. Making dumb dumb decisions GRRR. Him leaking EVERYTHING to JJ, like what was the endgame? He just burns everyone across the board.

With that said, if we have to go to tribal I still want JJ gone. I can't deal with anymore, him like asking to call me while i was drunk with friends on my way back from prom is so annoying, like... my life is not games, i literally.. was with friends like... boundaries.

i feel bad being mean to JJ but ughhhhhhhh. Evan also needs to have not done anything he just did. I literally... was gonna be in such a pickle next vote because Jason/Ian would've wanted Evan out, but Thomas/Jules wouldn't have. He like panicked about how out of the loop he was (which I can understand and respect), but like... this was such a, SUCH a poor way of handling it. JJ is gonna be on a reign of terror, its just going to be so tiring.

I just... am really tired of it. I'm annoying, and I get that, so its hypocritical for me to get mad at the others but like... GRRR.

i just want a final five of me, jules, julia, tom and benj. LET ME HAVE THAT.

Tom and I bonding over JJ FINALLY going home? ICONIC, SHOWSTOPPING

jj = mess

I am not sure if I already submitted a confessional on the shit that went down today but here we go.

So I wake up to see all is well. Nothing has happened much. Then Evan comes here asking me if I voted JJ and questioning me with all kinds of shit. The kid is legit panicking because from what Tom told me, he was the last to know of the flip against JJ. So now Evan thinks he’s at the bottom and is sweating bricks. All of a sudden JJ blows up in the tribe chat and he freaking knows we were gonna send him out the game if we lost the music video challenge.

I then learn that presumably mcfreaking Evan fucking leaked to JJ that he was getting voted out which caused all this mess on the tribe chat with JJ calling Tom, Jules, Evan, Ali and Julia out for lying to him and that he’s thanking me and Jason for being straight up to him? Umm I don’t get this tho because me and JJ literally did not exchange any talks about the vote. So I don’t get where he’s going with this lol. Jules was trying to calm JJ down and she was laying down the law whew. I mean if anything this blow up just secured my allaince’s control?? Like now Tom and Jules are with us and they know Evan is a rat and JJ is sinking. UNLESS this is just a freaking ploy by them in which they are being oh so extra ahsjdjd

Right now if I would have my way, Budva baes along with Tom and Jules work together for this vote. We throw most of our votes at JJ and that may include Evan. And then we tell JJ who’s pretty desperate right now to vote for Evan. I would want someone to throw one or two votes at Evan as a safety cushion in case JJ pulls out an idol. Here’s to hopIng everything goes accordingly for the Budva Baesss

Well fuck i've flopped on confessing my sins again. So last round I made probably the shittiest music video..... and I won. How in the fuck. TAKE THAT BITCHES! ON TIME QUEEN BETTER THAN A LATE ONE! But so JJ is super fucking annoying toward the original Budva people, such as myself. But he has also annoyed his tribe pretty bad. Sooooooo Jules flipped. This round it looks like he is gonna go but Evan talks too much and I wanna kill him.

RN im a paranoid mess because people are telling me to vote michael and im kind of forced to do that? The problem is, I like michael a lot so i really hope we win this challenge because i think we have a good shot. It also doesnt help that we got rid of the majority so now i could very well be going here.

[dancingcaveman]

"Atleast seemed happy when I said I would come."

I CALLED TO TALK TO YOU FOR 5 MINS AFTER MY SHIFT AND YOU SAID IM TIRED IM GOING TO BED. EXCUSE ME…? Were you mad that I told you I couldnt hang out on a Friday… That you are off and i wasnt …. WHEN DID THAT EVER COME TO BE ALLOWED???? BC AS FAR AS I REMEMBER YOU CHOOSE ANYTHING OVER OUR FRIDAYS. Just because you are off doesnt mean i drop everything like you want me to and say nah fuck this I have to go see Kile… Lmao cause you would do that for me???? No. Never.

Orrr wait were you mad that I asked if you were with a female only? Lol cause for some reason… You can spend from 2:30-4:30 at WORK after your 8 HOUR shift to SIT AT WORK, EATING, with your coworkers… But when we eat YOU CANT STAND TO BE AT THE RESTAURANT 5 MINS AFTER WE ARE DONE EATING…..??!?!?!? CONFUSED? Cause i am. But not only are you there with “Phil” but the oh so new best friend thats more important than talking to me while we are TOGETHER IN PERSON, (because you are now her shoulder to cry on) “Lauren” too… Who has made sexual remarks to you that i find COMPLETELY inappropriate but havent said a god damn word. Who you GO TO THE MALL WITH ALONE.. WHO YOU HAVE ICE CREAM DATES WITH ALONE and WHO YOU HAVE GONE OUT WITH AND HAD A “WEIRD BUT FUN” night with. But then again who am i to ask for 5 mins of your time. Lol you already spent all the time you had with your besties for resties at work.

But again … Im psycho or have “high” expectations from a boyfriend of 5 years. So i dont know how other boyfriends treat their girls bc youre the top on the charts and i could never do better.… Bc ive only had one real relationship and i expect to be treated to nicely. I should in turn accept what i get cause thats all im getting. No improvement, no communication, and getting purposely ignored. So ill keep my mouth shut and act like im the one thats wrong and im tripping and acting sooo psycho that im almost like Taylor. So im soooo sorry i didn’t appreciate your oh so genuine offer to come give me a 10 sec kiss. Im such a horrible terrible girlfriend. Ill try to do better next time. Please do forgive me. I love you. That makes everything better 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

#done #personal #diary