#straight people™️

[weliveintryingtimes]

NO. BAD.

From what I've learned, BDSM is about mutual trust and mutual agreement, and the user on the screen (I'm watching one of Twigu's r/AreTheStraightsOkay vids) is NOT encouraging that; he's talking about wives like breathing sex dolls. This just hurts to look at right here.

#straight people™️ #kink etiquette #people shouldn't walk into kink assfirst and ignorant because that's how you get hurt. #you can see the edge of the guy's next comment and it fucking hurts peeps #when people misuse kink in order to like Actually hurt and discriminate others it makes me froth at the mouth #i wanna bite.

[mike-wachowski]

there’s a really popular hot take going around tik tok rn that’s basically like “if you’re a man and woman and you both identify as queer but you’re dating each other, that’s a straight relationship not a ‘queer relationship’” I always kinda laugh a little cause like.

1. Who died and left you in charge of the Laws as Writ of queer community, chronically online teenager, and

2. Since when did relationships have to be defined as queer ? All I care about is the people, this isn’t the queer relationship community, this is the queer community and it’s about the people in it not what label they’re being coerced into slapping on their relationships with others

Idk the whole thing just seems very weird and exclusionary. Maybe it’s just because I’m a queer trans man who dates pretty exclusively non-men, so my experience is that all of my relationships would be defined as a “straight” relationship by this logic which is weird because like, the way I love women is most definitely queer and I think a lot of other queer people in so-called “straight” relationships can agree with that feeling

The whole thing is really weird to me but it is manifesting in a lot of garbage takes like “stop advertising your relationship as a queer relationship if you’re both straight passing” and “pride isn’t for queer people in straight relationships to show their love, it’s only for queer people in queer relationships”

Idk the whole thing is pretty ass and I’m of the opinion that if two people identify as queer in any way there’s no way for them to ever be in a straight relationship. Being queer is not a copy and paste of being LGBT and queer love is vastly different than any form of normalized heterosexual relationship so stop trying to force queer people into labels when many of us identify as queer to specifically step away from such labels, thank you for coming to my Ted talk

#mike speaks #I started this post out thinking I was not as mad about the subject as I actually am #anyways the whole thing is so stupid and so many ‘straight passing’ content creators on tik tok are just like. lying down and taking this #instead of fighting because they don’t want to be the subject of the next Internet Discourse™️ #queer people are not and can never be straight and that extends to their relationships no matter how that relationship looks #i will die on this fucking hill #queer #lgbtq

[cakesandfail]

Cis het autistic men: why can't I find a girlfriend, why won't women just be direct with me

Autistic women: have you tried dating autistic women specifically

Cis het autistic men: eurgh gross why would I want that, you're all WEIRD, I don't think any of you are REALLY autistic anyway you just want attention

Autistic women: okay bye then arsehole

Cis het autistic men: ...why can't I get a girlfriend :(

#lads. seriously. #this isn't 'i lack social skills' or 'i don't communicate like nt people' #this is entitlement and misogyny #i don't really spend much time in autism spaces™️ because i will straight up just tell a man to fuck off over it lmao #like... i also come across as an arsehole unintentionally sometimes! i get it! it sucks! #but this is categorically Not That

[franeridan]

came to the conclusion that the reason why aventio has such a strong hold on me these days is that they're the highest purest greatest dumbest form of "I have feelings for you" (that feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it before) and I find that stupidly compelling atm

#i like that you can really start from scratch with them despite them already acting like they've been in a committed relationship for years #it's like yes these two characters go hand in hand sold in a pair do not separate #they're the only two people who have a high regard of each other and understand each other without words needed #the only ones who can stand spending prolonged periods of time in each others company and still seek each other out after #they're also still completely unaware that they have a positive opinion of each other #that they aren't a burden or an annoyance for each other #that the reason why they find so much ease in working with each other is that they're on the exact same wavelength #in ratio's about aven he talks about how he doubts aven will ever fail bc it's not all luck as aven plays it to be #in aven's about ratio he talks about how he believes the only reason why ratio sticks around is that everyone else is more annoying than him #aven's aware ratio doesn't even look people in the eyes when he can't stand them but he still hasn't noticed that ratio is always looking #straight at him with no barriers #they're so dumb #if you want to write them in a romantic relationship you have the whole road already paved for you but you DO have #to walk it from the very beginning #they built all the bridges needed to reach each other and refused to take even a single step on them #and the only reason is that they've always been so alone and disliked #that now that they have someone who genuinely likes them they can't even tell #it's such a new type of relationship for me I've never been into any characters like this #I'm putting them under a microscope and studying them so attentively fr #the biggest hurdle for them is really gonna be accepting that they're friends that's such a Dynamic™️

[majimassqueaktoy]

Honestly the further I've gotten into this series the more certain I am that the writers just didn't quite know what to do with Majima after the second game...

#I have a lot of thoughts ™️ #Not even in a deeply negative way or anything #i love majima and y0 and kiwami and kiwami 2 spoiled me for that #I wish he was more present ofc but I am quite happy having haruka and aki and saejima as protags #its just becoming a lot clearer that they were expected to keep Majima in the plot but evidently struggled with the why and the how #Honestly I think the same happened with Daigo? he was in a coma for 3. then hes betraying people and doing weird shit in 4. #5 hes straight up missing #this series has so many good characters but it def doesnt always know what to do with them #if ryuji or nishiki had survived they likely would have met the same fate

[luvsavos]

so not only does genki canonly exist in the reboot but it seems strongly implied that he and doc ketchum worked together at some point??? i do not like that concept At All!

#mar.txt #saints row #professor genki #doc ketchum #<- does he even have a tag ik he doesn't even have a wiki page #saints row 2022 #genuinely baffled that ive seen quite literally ZERO mention ANYWHERE that a) he does in fact show up in murder circus (well not HIM him #but someone dressed as him and he's talked about + afterwards kev mentions that definitely wasn't the real him because he's immortal，so #apparently immortal in his case not only means unaging but also straight up unable to die) #and b) there's. so many things referencing him on boot hill?? a TON of cat heads that appear to quite obviously be stylized genki，that #appear to have been painted over a different colour than pink，booths that say smthn like 'the doc and professor show'，and on the main #hidden history thingy (which i ALSO couldn't find a SINGLE guide for/barely any mention of on google ANYWHERE) that has doc's face painted #on it saying smthn like 'doc says hello' there's a little sign tacked on that says 'genki lives!!!' which. ?????? #i wonder if they worked together and doc tried to fuck him over at some point，possibly by killing him #which obviously did not work #anyways. murder circus is fun so is the reboot and i'm baffled at how so few people seem to have put the (imo quite obvious when you see #them) pieces together that the reboot likely IS in fact a direct tie to the reboot ending of gat out of hell #anyways im completely normal about saints row and genki can't you tell i definitely didn't stay up way past my bedtime specifically to #grind out murder circus so i could see genki (he's got some nice Drip™️ btw it looks kind of marshall-inspired) #i'm going to be slowly going ever more slightly insane over pondering wtf the connection between he and doc ketchum is

[ghetsis]

as a general rule, I would highly prefer people hard block me instead of soft blocking because it's much less confusing.

#and if anyone softs me for Tumblr Drama™️ reasons I will straight hard block in return #I ain't got enough stomach for other people's beef thx

[evilweasel-cosplay]

I'm making this clear I will report every blazed post I see as inappropriate cuz why you gotta be interrupting my perfectly curated hellscape with your bad posts. If your post is good it will find its way to me naturally.

#also it mostly shitty basic crap #like cars or other straight™️ people shit #mon g rambles

[oneknightlight]

Yanno I’m learning how to draw Queen because I love her and it’s long overdue but the closer I look at her sprites the more I realize that y’all kinda sleepin on her nose.

#it’s not hooked or anything but it’s definitely not dainty and pointing straight up like half y’all draw her lmfao #not that there’s anything wrong with that it just feels like everyone draws feminine characters with like #the dainty point up nose™️ and sometimes you get a close look at the canon material and are like #hey wait a minute #Walt talks #her nose is more like. rigid . straight and rigid and pointing down #and I know everyone’s style is different and everyone draws things differently but it isn’t a coincidence that people just defaulted to #small pointy dainty uppy nose because they do that with goddamn every woman aligning character

[emmamills]

"I hope this is how y’all feel about me with ouat" yeah, BenAffleckSmokingAnon back. it's true. but also damn you because i finished my ouat playthrough, felt pain and emptiness and somehow decided to go through more pain by rewatching rizzoli & isles. i'm on a spiral thanks to you but i mean this affectionately.

oh no anon it’s like a queerbaiting grand tour hfkskjahf I mean ily and I’m glad you feel that way but also uhh my bad sorry for starting all this 😂

#ben affleck smoking anon #asks #even more sorry if you watched ALL of ouat #I’m to blame and I didn’t even do that #although I’ll admit that part of the reason I didn’t finish ouat #was because I just didn’t want it to be over #(then I’d also have to acknowledge how it turned out lmao) #r&i tho my dear anon… #that’s a special brand of Gay Suffering™️ #‘whoops people think it’s gay’ but going in the opposite direction that xwp did #and just like doubling down on ‘no really could a straight woman do this!’ before holding up a picture of Sappho and her gal pals #anyway uh my tags are too long as usual but #keep me updated? :’)

[mizuski-broken]

So. Let me get this straight (well not STRAIGHT but you know what I mean LMAO) Jungryeok:

Yelled "I LOVE YOU" to Quackity as his first impression (also mentioned THE QSMP GLOBAL SERVER multiple times. King)

Has the energy and volume of an illegal power plant (and the humor to match)

Knows SO MANY little bits of language that he picked up and continues to pick up easily (VAMOS!!, SEE YOU TOMORROW!!!, etc.)

Calls people trash (and Foolish Mr. Stupid)

Calls himself Chun-Sik's mother

INSTANTLY started swearing and exchanging swears at the top of his lungs when asked (to the dismay of Acau)

Drinks heavily and does not hesitate to talk about drinking heavily (TEQUILAAAAAA)

Had a cool talk about culture and their countries music with Roier and Quackity (and can also BEATBOX LIKE A BOSS)

Asked Chun-Sik if he wanted to ROB ACAU'S HOUSE

MADE KISSING NOISES WHEN FOOLISH AND ROIER HUGGED???

And MORE

Holy shit he really does fit right in

EDIT:

I forgot about how much Jungryeok is attached to Chun-Sik already KKKKKK

Like, mans is already filing a divorce for the kid's custody on day one (apparently he can already tell when the admin switches??? No mames)

Really the True QSMP Experience™️ <3

#the only thing missing is maybe the sex talk and kissing gay men on the first day #but that might be a little too much kkkkkkkk #qsmp #qsmp korea #qsmp culture #qsmp jungryeok #qsmp acau #qsmp ago #global qsmp #i love this guy <3

[thosewickedlovelies]

Thinking about how weird it still feels to call my man my husband lmao

#he's my husband but also no he isnt #that's my partner #Straights™️ dni #we got married on accident anyway #hsgsjfkghsg #y'all ever heard of this stuff called red wine??? #we gotta tell people about this

[yay-depression]

what is up with the people I actually fucking like living in another state?? whats up with that??

#i met someone I am genuinely attracted to for the first time in like a year and he lives in fucking South Carolina #why does this keep fucking happening to me?? #the universe seems to want me to be alone but whatever #tat vents #it’s not like it matters bc he would never be attracted to me anyways #my type seems to (unfortunately) be Straight People™️ #so y’know #an L for me but whatever #oh and also occasionally gay men #like… more than once #I have dated like 5 people #1 of them is now a gay guy #he wasn’t when he dated me #THREE of them were straight men #why do I keep doing this to myself??? #and that’s not counting the number of straight men i’ve had a genuine crush on bc that’s just embarrassing for me #uh spoiler alert the three straight men that I dated did not work out #one broke up with me bc he got asked on a date by someone he actually liked (his words not mine) #one was a senior when i was a freshman in high school #and the last one was so mentally unstable i literally have minor trauma from him so… #i’m great at picking people to date… really just 10/10 taste

[scarrletmoon]

okay i know the Discourse™️ has been going on for way too long at this point, but

i think some people outside of the OFMD fandom don’t actually get why we’re particularly annoying about this show

OFMD is not the first queer show to ever exist. if anything, it's a late entry in decades of queer media. over a year and a half since the first few episodes aired, everyone knows that OFMD is queer. that doesn't make it particularly special

but back in March? this is the trailer that dropped in February of 2022, 2 weeks before the premier. if you're used to seeing queer chemistry in shows that aren't intended to be queer, you might see the hints between Ed and Stede here. but to most people? it's just a silly little pirate comedy. just guys being dudes. the trailer doesn't even hint at the other 2 canonical queer relationships in the show -- the closest it gets suggesting romance is the music and the pink in the poster

so when people watched this show in March 2022, they went into it expecting subtext and nothing else. to them, it was like watching Sherlock or Supernatural or Merlin in the 2010s. if you were in any of those fandoms -- especially Sherlock and Supernatural -- you know what it was like; constant jokes at our expense, being mocked for creating explicit fanwork, made fun of by the creators and within the show itself. if we saw queer subtext, that was our problem. this was a time when you pretended NOT to be in fandom, for fear of ridicule. we kept our fanwork to ourselves, we DID NOT share it with the cast, and we accepted that our favourite ships would probably never be canon. maybe one day, if we were lucky, we'd have a show where the subtext wasn't mockery as much as deliberate foreshadowing -- but that had to be YEARS away

right?

OFMD was never billed as a queer show, not in the beginning. there was no LGBTQ+ tag on (HBO) Max, it wasn't on anyone's list of upcoming queer shows in 2022, it flew under the radar through most of its first season. this was a show about pirates, and sure, some of them were queer. but not the LEADS. if you think they're romantically involved, that's must be fandom brain poisoning

except the 9th episode aired, and they kissed. and the show said "you're not crazy for thinking they have chemistry because they really do. it's been a romance this whole time". and in the 10th episode, Stede realizes that he's in love

(not mandating you watch this clip if you don't care for the show, but there's something that feels particularly earth shattering about no one saying the word gay but knowing that Stede's realizing he is, that it's completely unambiguous and explicit in a way that only straight romances are usually allowed to be)

this is why people freaked out about this show. no one knew. even the creator, David Jenkins, was surprised when WE were surprised that it was gay for real -- he set out to write a love story, using all the tried and true beats of a rom com. he'd never even heard of the term queerbaiting. he looked at historical Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet and thought "oh, there's something here" and just...wrote that, with very little fanfare, like it was inevitable. like it was obvious. of course Jim and Pam end up together. of course Buttercup and Westley end up together. what kind of disappointing ending would it be if You've Got Mail ended with the main characters just going their separate ways?

so of course Ed and Stede are in love

look, i get it. we're annoying and won't shut the fuck up about this show that seems mediocre at best. i watched the whole thing back in march, thought "huh, that was cool" and was sure that i'd forget about it in a few days

an hour after looking at fanart on twitter, i was lost in the fucking sauce

there's just so much to unpack from a mere 10 episodes. it covers racism, toxic masculinity, gender expression, sexuality, trauma and abuse. and i don't think we should overlook the fact that the non-white characters in this show get to be fully human in a way i haven't seen in my favourite shows in recent memory

additionally, most OFMD are 25 or older. we're not people who've been spoiled by queer rep, who don't get how hard it used to be, how you'd have to grovel for scraps, how shipping and fanfiction was a way to find queer rep where we thought there never would be. we've been here. we're annoying about this show because for a lot of us, it's the first time we've been treated like our queerness isn't an anomaly that needs to be relegated to its own section, that needs to be praised for the bare minimum of acknowledging that we exist. it's not pulling punches to avoid scaring away a straight audience. it just is.

OFMD for me is like when i watched Black Panther for the first time and realized that this is what white people felt all the time. have there been other black superhero movies? of course! does Disney fucking suck? BOY does it. but that was the first time i got to sit in a movie theater and watch a mainstream film that looked at Africa and said "look at how beautiful you are, exactly as you are"

and idk. i think that's really cool

#scarrlet rambles #ofmd #cant wait for all 5 notes on this post #and dont be fucking mean i'm not trying to start shit #anon is off btw if you want to try that #we're going to have a productive conversation or none at all we're adults here #for some reason tumblr didn't save my links and stuff THANKS TUMBLR #anyway the typo version is floating around now i guess 🥲

[obsessedwithceleste]

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Dedicated to this lil request here 🫶🏽

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

It’s no secret that Theodore Nott had a rough childhood

Between witnessing his mother’s death at a young age and having a particularly ruthless father, Theo learned to be quietly reserved early on

1000% Theo is an introvert

Despite being seemingly closed off, he’s extremely observant and good at reading others and picking up on things quickly

While he may not be the best at deciphering his own emotions, he’s able to sort through others’ easily

This makes it easy for him to be rather manipulative because he knows what makes other’s tick and how to go straight for the jugular

He may be distant and off putting in the beginning, but once you get close, he’s a clingy bastard because he doesn’t let many people get close, so once you make it there he’ll basically hold you captive forever

He’s also stupid smart

(Canonically he’s able to re-create an illegal time turner after they were all destroyed in the department of mysteries so//)

And this makes him a bit of an arrogant asshole

Looks down on people he thinks aren’t as smart as him

He definitely thinks that he knows best and can have a “my way or the highway” type mindset

Probably has some type of gifted kid™️ trauma and a crippling fear of failure

Anyway, he’s super intelligent and witty and has the potential to do really well in classes

But he has a nasty habit off skiving off with Mattheo Riddle

Who happens to be his best friend along with Lorenzo Berkshire

A lot of people think Theo is the “mother” of the group, or at least the one with the most impulse control

They’re wrong

Theo is the one that Mattheo goes to with his dumbass ideas and Theo’s response is generally something along the lines of-

“Absolutely not you tosser. If we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it right”

Queue Mattheo’s initial plan- only methodically planned out to cause maximal emotional trauma for the Hogwarts population

Theo and Mattheo are also a chaotic duo on the quidditch pitch

Theo is a chaser

Making the quidditch team in his third year is one of the only times his father showed a hint of satisfaction with the boy

Being on the Slytherin quidditch team, he’s often labeled a preppy jock

And Mattheo does help him break out of his shell more

But he’s a nerdy lil book worm at heart and likes to be holed up in the library most days

Theo also has quite the reputation of being a ladies man with rumors about his escapades swarming the student body

But really they’re just that- rumors

Lorenzo is more of the openly flirtatious pretty boy, and Mattheo certainly knows how to make his way around which is perhaps why people think Theo would be the same way

But he isn’t one to really form physical attachments- emotional or not

He prefers to fly under the radar

He may have had a fling or two, but isn’t one to kiss and tell

He has a hard time entering a real relationship

Mostly because when he first realizes he’s caught feelings, he’s convinced he’s actually just ill and stays in bed pretending to be sick

But once he comes to terms with things, he’s one determined wizard

Makes sure everyone knows that you’re off limits (possibly before you know yourself)

Definitely goes to Enzo for advice on how to woo you

With varying degrees of success

King of subtle PDA (just enough to mark his territory)

Confident and secure in his relationship, but also still jealous as hell

Will hex the living shit out of someone for breathing at you the wrong way

Finds it amusing when you get jealous though

But will shut it the fuck down as soon as he picks up on you being actually upset (probably embarrassing whoever it is in the process)

Not always the best at communicating his feeling cause he’s emotionally constipated af

But tries because he knows he doesn’t want a relationship like his parent’s

Okayyy I think that’s all for now, but I have a feeling these will grow and evolve with time sooo- ongoing (?) idk

#slytherin boys #theodore nott #slytherin #harry potter universe #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott fic #theodore nott fanfiction #theo nott fanfiction #theodore nott headcanons #theo nott headcanons

[aragornsrockcollection]

Hello I’m here to talk about an opinion that isn’t so much unpopular because people don’t like it, but because it is splitting hairs and basically an argument based in semantics that sane people reasonably do not waste their time caring about it.

I am neither sane nor reasonable and therefore think about this a lot, and get ready to pull out a soapbox and type the Text Wall of China any time I hear people offhandedly contradict this opinion, and so I have come here today to die on this molehill, and write the over-long post of my dreams, because fuck it, it’s my blog.

Drumroll please:

Sauron is not The Lord of the Rings

The Lord of the Rings is the main antagonist though, so furthermore,

Sauron is not the main antagonist of The Lord of the Rings

I internally go insane every time someone says “Sauron, the eponymous Lord of the Rings” or “The antagonist never actually appears in Lord of the Rings” or uses Lord of the Rings as an penultimate example of having a flat ‘evil for evil’s sake’ villain. This is mostly in YouTube videos so I’m not calling out anyone here.

So who is the Lord of the Rings? Where do I get this shit? Why should anyone care?

I will tell you in far too much detail under this cut, because I told you I was gonna be extra about it and this is already long enough to inflict on my followers without their consent.

First and foremost, Frodo is not the Lord of the Rings either. Let’s get that out of the way. Gandalf explicitly tells us that in Many Meetings (the first chapter in Rivendell in Fellowship), when Pippin greets a newly awakened Frodo with quintessential Fool of a Took™️ swagger.

‘Hurray!’ cried Pippin, springing up. ‘Here is our noble cousin! Make way for Frodo, Lord of the Ring!’

‘Hush!’ Said Gandalf from the shadows at the back of the porch. ‘Evil things do not come into this valley; but all the same we should not name them. The Lord of the Ring is not Frodo, but the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor, whose power is again stretching out over the world! We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is getting dark.’

So that’s my theory busted right off the bat! Gandalf straight up tells us the Lord of the Ring is Sauron (‘the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor’ which is Sauron).

But I already told you, this is a hair-splitting semantics-based theory! He said Sauron was the Lord of the Ring. Not the Lord of the RingS. Yes, this whole theory revolves around a single letter difference between the title of the series and Gandalf’s statement, WHAT OF IT?

But in all seriousness. Tolkien was a linguist. There was no way this choice was not deliberate, not on something so important to the narrative. And there is a very important difference between what he is referring to when he uses ‘The Ring” singular, and “The Rings” plural. The Ring that Frodo carried to Mordor has it’s singular nature highly emphasized by the language that surrounds it. THE definite article Ring, the ONE Ring. Just the One. Singular Singular Singular.

The Rings (plural) refers to the rings of power which Celebrimbor wrought, with Sauron’s help, but Sauron is objectively not the Lord of those rings. Not the three Elven ones at least, which he never touched and only suspects the location of. Without his One Ring he has no power over the Three, and a big problem with him regaining his Ring is that he would gain power over those rings, the ringbearers, and the safe realms that had been wrought with them, basically crippling those with the power to resist him.

Him NOT having the Ring, and therefore NOT having lordship over all the rings, is a pretty major plot point. Like, it’s not a reach to say Sauron not having the Ring is what drives the entire story. And he is NOT the Lord of the Rings without it.

And he never gains it, so is the whole series named after Sauron’s aspirations, that the main characters are trying to prevent? I mean, from an angle yes. But also no.

Because while Pippin and Gandalf’s exchange is the closest we come in the text to seeing the title, let me show you the only place within the covers that “The Lord of the Rings” is presented, at least in my beat up third hand 70’s edition. It may not be formatted like this in other editions, but I still think it says something about how we are supposed to read the title:

[Image ID: Masking tape can clearly be seen holding together my poor abused copy of Fellowship, open to the title page. THE LORD OF THE RINGS is written across the top of the page in all caps, directly below it is the Ring Poem, as if The Lord of the Rings is a the title not only of the series but of the poem. /.End ID]

The One Ring is the Lord of the Rings, not Sauron, who is the Lord of the Ring.

“What?” Say imaginary naysayers in my head, “How can a Ring be a Lord? And why does this matter, if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, doesn’t that make him the Lord of the Rings by proxy? Why are you wasting your and my time making an argument about this?”

I’m glad you asked imaginary naysayer, let me speak to your first point. How can a ring be a Lord? Well, like any good first time speechwriter, I’ve turned to Miriam Webster, and asked it to define a word we already know, in this case ‘lord.’

[Image ID: Screenshot of the Miriam Webster definition of ‘lord.’ The ones that are relevant are 1: One having power and authority over others. 1a: A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence to whom service and obedience are due. And 1f: One that has achieved mastery or that exercises leadership or great power in some area /.End ID]

In the poem, it is the Ring that is spoken of as ruling, not Sauron. Sauron is actually listed in the same position as all the others who receive rings, “The Dark Lord on his Dark Throne” occupying the same place in the sentence structure as the “the Elven-kings under the sky” and “the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone” and “Mortal Men doomed to die.” It is the One Ring, not Sauron, who rules them all, fulfilling our first definition “A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence.” In this case it would be by right of preeminence, or superiority. The One Ring outclasses the other rings and thus dominates them, binding them to obedience and service. Gandalf calls it “the Master-Ring” when it is first revealed for what it is in Bag-End with the words appearing from the flame.

The Ring has it’s own will too. It’s repeatedly stated to be in control of Gollum when Gandalf is first telling us about it. I’m literally so spoiled for quotes about this that I was paralyzed with indecisiveness over what to use but let’s keep it simple with this one. It’s from Gandalf explaining why Gollum didn’t have the Ring allowing Bilbo to come upon it in the chapter “Shadows of the Past” from Fellowship:

‘It was not Gollum, Frodo, but the Ring itself that decided things. The Ring left him.’

So if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, and the Ring is the Lord of the Rings, isn’t he Lord of the Rings by proxy? Yes, when he has the Ring. But also being the ruler of a lord doesn’t make the title of that lord your title, if that makes sense. People don’t call Aragorn the Prince of Ithilien, that’s Faramir’s title, Aragorn is King of the Reunited Kingdoms, he rules Ithilien, sure, but by proxy. Ithilien reports to Faramir who reports to Aragorn (I should be calling him Elessar since I’m talking about him as king, but whatever). If Aragorn lost the ability to contact Faramir or Ithilian, he would still theoretically be king there but he would have no practical control, just like Sauron with the Rings of Power.

Why does this matter? It mostly doesn’t. It does not change anything practically in the story at all.

But it matters to me, because it might help change perspective on the antagonist of LotR. It’s the Ring. Sauron is a force in the world, one the Ring is closely allied with, and from whom many of the obstacles come, but the entity that our protagonist is really fighting on every page is the Ring.

If Gandalf were the main character, or Aragorn, or almost anyone else on Middle Earth, Sauron would be the Primary Antagonist. But they are not. Frodo is the Primary Protagonist, and his struggle is NOT against Sauron, it is against the Ring.

If destroying the Ring had not destroyed Sauron, would Frodo have kept fighting in this war? NO! He had his task, and once it was done he was done, even if the world ended afterwards. Everything is driven by the Ring. The threat to the Shire comes from the presence of the Ring, so Frodo takes the Ring to Rivendell. The danger of the Ring is not neutralized by it being brought to Rivendell, so he continues his journey to destroy it once and for all. He doesn’t fight Sauron, he fights the Ring. He fights with himself to keep going in spite of the despair it levels on him, the poisonous words it whispers in his ear, the physical toll it takes on his body. He fights Boromir and Sam (not to the extent he does in the movie, but still a bit) and Gollum over the Ring. He negotiates with Faramir over the Ring.

And the Ring is SUCH a more interesting and nuanced villain to struggle with than Sauron. Sauron is representative of a force in the world. He controls events but never appears, because he acts as the source of all evil, it’s representation on earth (at least now Melkor is in the Void), but it is far more interesting to watch the effect he has on others than deal directly with a character that is so obviously in the wrong in every way. Making Sauron a physical character in LotR is like making the Devil a present character in basically any piece of media that deals with evil.

Evil at its purest isn’t that interesting, because it contains no conflict. Leaving Sauron as an offscreen player leaves us to see characters that are not pure evil struggle with that conflict.

The fascinating thing about the Ring is that it has no power outside of what you give it. But given enough time even the best people, like Frodo, will end up losing themselves to it, as it whispers in your ear with your own voice.

I want to go ballistic when people point to LotR and say it has a one dimensional villain. EVERYONE’S OWN VIOLENCE, DESPAIR AND THIRST FOR POWER IS THE VILLAIN OF LORD OF THE RINGS! Brought to the fore by a small unassuming golden trinket which just happens to also be the titular Lord of the Rings.

Honestly “The Ring is the Villain of LotR change my mind” should be its own big long post with lots of quotes and shit, the fact that the Ring is The Lord of the Rings just being a small point in it.

But unless you are a specific type of interested in story structure and stuff none of this is at all meaningful and it really, really doesn’t matter, so I’m gonna go.

Thanks for coming with me on this dumb journey.

#tolkien #jirt #lotr #lord of the rings #the one ring #Sauron #jrr tolkien #Frodo #story structure #long post… even for me! #hot take #Gandalf #look #I’m sorry ok #this is so inconsequential and I say this as someone who likes meta