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#t41nsp0
illuminatedbyauroras · 6 months
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TW: M34NSP0 (this is for me!)
Every day you spin around in the mirror pointing out the things you hate and wish would change, yet you keep 3at!ng 100s of cal0r!es above your target EVERY day? Your goal is never to go above a 3 digit limit, yet yours is always 4. Strange.
You post on your blog about how you hate your body and wish it was smaller, but skip the gym when you’re tired?
Sk!nny girls don’t care if they’re tired. They. Keep. Going. You should be no different if you want to be one of them.
Stop letting yourself give up. It’s like you’re not even trying. Get a fucking grip.
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tw ana
I dont want,,, i need 2 be skinny right fkn now!!
I’m so tired of being fat,,, of seeing my fat ass and belly hanging… HANING!! 94 kg… just by looking at this number I want to smash my head into wall…
nononononononono… I rather die than going around in this ugly fat ass fuck body…
Fake it till u make it… I will go around 4 now like I’m a petite ana0###ic queen… and then I will become one)) the only gift I want 4 christmas is 39kg… give me them… is the only thing I want from this life…
I will be smaller then my classmates… I will get all I want from my parents because “I’m sick”… i will have a flat stomach,,, so flat that my hipbones will stick out more then belly… my legs will never touch each other… my hipbones/fingerbones/cheekbones/ribs/collarbones will show of so much that u can see more bones than fat… everything I will put on my body will look intelligent/beautiful,,, xxs and child clothes will fit me… my arms will be so small that I can wrap my finger around them… my eyes and lips will be bigger and my face smaller,,, no double chin… it will be my friends turn to be jealous of me… I will be kind,,, dreamy,,, everybody’s dream and just skinny… I will never feel shame because of how I look (because I look so perfect)… I will be my t41nsp0 board… when I meet “s”(my love) he will fall into me the same second he see my beautiful body n face… he will be obsessed with me and love me/care about me… all my classmates will love me,,, they will want 2 hang out with me and stalking my social media))
But now the question is: what do I need 2 do 2 get all this…??:
Do the “new jeans diet” (-10kg, 10 days)
Doing the kcal but only with liquids…
The scool starting is in 2 weeks and i must weight 74 by that…
My day:
4:00 wake up
5:00 going 10000 steps
6:00 doing “killer thigh gap/stomach workouts”
7:00 eat
11:00 1000 kcal work out
12:00 eat
16:00 sleep
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-idk what 2 eat:((
-well:
1 raspberry, soup ( tomato soup,,, potato,,, chicken), tea, coffee, yogurt, Ice or cucumber with Italian salad seasoning, redbull, egg whites…
only I can make my wish come true…
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illuminatedbyauroras · 11 months
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˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
one thing about me?
i will be ch3wing and sp!tting before i let myself
b!nge.
i want two packs of noodles?
ch3w and sp!t that shit out bbg.
i have not felt truly full in exactly a year. and i love it.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
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illuminatedbyauroras · 7 months
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im going through old photos of myself from high school… holy shit i was so f4t what the fuck. who let me out in public like that?????????
i am my own f4tsp0 💀 thank god i don’t look like that anymore. i will NEVER be that big again omg.
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things ive learned over my ËD journey
-if you can’t run/hate running, walk! Long distance walking is still really good for you and can burn a lot of c@ls.
-if you feel like you’re about to b!nge, watch a mukbang. If you can find one that includes the f00d you were about to eat, even better. This honestly takes your mind off of actually doing it. Instead of feeling bad about yourself with a b!nge, take that time to watch a mukbang instead.
-find a new sport or exercise that you actually enjoy. It is possible!! I really really recommend roller skating!!! It’s super fun and you don’t realize how many calories it burns. Also swimming!! Super fun full body workout that burns more than you think.
-CANNED SOUP esp. chicken noodle. A whole can usually has about 140 c@|or1es and is very filling! Plus it’s tasty :)
-if you’re gonna binge, put LOADS of hot sauce on it or too much salt so you don’t want it anymore
-Splenda in coffee instead of cane sugar! (It’s 0 c@|0ries)
-make a c@|0rie calendar to stay motivated
-browse for clothes in your g0al s1ze! it’ll make you more motivated to get there. Shein let’s you see reviews by size, and i look at the people on there for inspiration
- research the nutrition facts of fast food places just in case you h a v e to go out bc you’re with friends/family etc. and have a meal planned/calculated
-if you have a dog, that’s a great excuse for going out on long walks. Especially if the dog isn’t in shape!
-use some celebs for insp1rati0n, rather than random insta models to seem less suspicious
-i actually love having a sc@|e. it helps motivate you if you got closer to your GW, or pushes you to try if you haven’t
-i use an app for tracking my c@|0ri3 intake. this helps a LOT with b!ng!ng and preventing it from happening (i use Lifesum)
-if you do track your c@|or!es, track 50 calories above what you actually consume. this helps with r3stricting. i do it to trick myself that im over my limit.
-also track what you’re gonna eat before you actually do. it helps you plan out your day and see how much you’re gonna consume for the day
-it sounds corny, but find new hobbies! i took up some video games, and found a new love for going on walks and stuff. it genuinely distracts you from going over your limit.
-try off brand f00ds!! they’re usually cheaper, taste very similar to name brands, and can have lower c@|or!es.
-if you’re afraid of diet sodas, try club soda/sparkling water! some come with flavors and they’re mostly all 0-5 c@l.
-get a job? that sounds easier said than done. but if possible, it helps you with f4sting. that gives you 6+ hours away from home, and for me at least it helps me not to b!nge.
i used these and lost 15 lbs since the last week of March :,) it is possible!!
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illuminatedbyauroras · 7 months
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i destroyed my body over the years b!ng3 eating. i ate thousands of calories a day. now if i feel the need to eat that much again, i ch3w it and spit it out. it gets flushed when im done or i put it in our compost lol.
my only regret is not starting that earlier. it gives the illusion that you’re full but you don’t have that many calories. i can’t believe i was so stupid and actually ate all that shit years ago.
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New to EDblr?
Some stuff you might not understand or be familiar with when starting out on tumblr for ed content.
OBVIOUS TRIGGER WARNING::: if you’re underaged/“new” to this PLEASE seek recovery and try your best not to trigger yourself on here. You deserve recovery. This is very unsafe and you need to turn back before it’s too late. You DO NOT want this disorder i promise.
abbreviations: a lot of abbreviations are used so people don’t get their accounts deleted. this content is genuinely dangerous and you should seek recovery. however, recovery is hard and i know it doesn’t help to just say “recover”, so i will try to educate! Some common abbreviations are
Ed: eat!ng d!sorder (notice people use characters instead of letters. again so they don’t get their account deleted for the content)
Gw: goal we!ght
Ugw: ultimate goal we!ght
Hw: heaviest we!ght
Lw: lowest we!ght
CW: current we!ght
BMI: body mass index. (This really doesn’t matter because everyone is built different! But body dysmorphia makes you feel like it’s necessary to lower this. It’s not. But if you see it, that’s what it’s measuring)
Ana: an0rex!a
Mia: Bu||em!a
🌧️, 🦋: symbols to help identify others with an ed
3d: eat!ng disorder
Sh: s3lf h4rm
Ed Sheeran: a silly code for ed, or s3lf h4rm.
You may see super low numbers in each category. Some are in kg not pounds, so keep that in mind if a number seems SUPER low. Again, we’re all not doing okay here so never judge someone for the things their brain tells them they need to achieve. It’s a DISORDER.
You’ll see recipes or meal inspiration too. You don’t have to follow any of these specifically. Usually it’s to help give ideas if people need new safe foods. It can help expand your palette if you’re struggling to find something you feel okay consuming.
Th!nsp0: using images of very small build people as inspiration for staying small. Not necessary, and very tr!ggering. Be warned.
F4tsp0: using images of larger people to “inspire” being small. This one is one of the most awful categories. Fat people are valid and should NEVER “inspire” you to be thin. It’s disgusting, but it’s out there.
Sweetsp0: using sweet language and words to inspire you to keep going. I honestly prefer this.
Meansp0: using mean words to inspire you to keep going and be small. This one isn’t effective for me, but it depends on how it’s done.
Fasting: many users state that they are going on fasts. Water fasts mean you’re only consuming water for a period of time. Just fasting usually means just not consuming foods, but you’ll consume liquids like coffee, etc.
When i first joined, i wasn’t sure how people lived every day like this. Am i supposed to be eating a certain amount? What should my ca|or!es for everyday be? How does exercise add on to that??
It’s different for every person. I started with a goal of like 1000 cäls a day. I learned that for me, it takes like 700-900 a day for me to actually lose anything. Again, it is different for everyone so please don’t compare yourself to others. Usually if you exercise or walk through the day, users subtract that amount of calories from their daily intake. It’s not an exact science obviously, but that’s just what you might come across. I usually track myself like that.
You can use apps like Lifesum (my personal choice) to measure meals and calor!es. You can also track your we!ght progress and stuff. It helps me put into perspective how much progress i actually made. It’s hard to see it since you see yourself every day.
PLEASE BE SAFE. This is a mental illness, not a lifestyle. It is dangerous and deadly even if you don’t feel it. Please take care of yourself. Have something to eat daily if possible. Please make sure to drink water. You deserve to be here and be healthy.
((I’ll edit this periodically if i think of anything else. If you’re confused about something or have a question, feel free to comment!! I will answer anything!!))
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illuminatedbyauroras · 3 months
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went to an event for my partner’s family, and someone i didn’t know at all or have ever spoken to decided to make a comment on how much food i had put on my plate for dinner 🫠
i went to the bathroom and sobbed and ended up just having a small salad and not touching the dinner. that did it for me! no more motivation needed lol don’t you worry.
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illuminatedbyauroras · 5 months
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ANYWAYS now that thanksgiving is over i can ⭐️ve in peace!!!
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illuminatedbyauroras · 8 months
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also it’s my birthday, and i have no friends that wished me well today. maybe it’s selfish to want that, but it sure doesn’t feel nice.
maybe if i was small and pretty, people would pay attention to me.
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illuminatedbyauroras · 7 months
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the last time i bought a skirt, it said it was a 27” size 3-4 or something? But it’s crazy big on me (not in a bragging way, i hope it doesn’t come across that way). and im noticing that sizes are getting bigger, despite the label being the same. like a size 6 right now would’ve been like a size 10 a decade ago.
is that just me? even the “inches” sizes are bigger than what they are labelled. the 27” skirts and pants i have are so big but that’s what my waist is. i have no issue with sizes being inclusive finally, but you don’t have to get rid of small sizes 💀 people of all sizes should be able to find their size
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illuminatedbyauroras · 5 months
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i needed to get bl00d work done and they didn’t tell me to do anything special, but my parent literally begged me to fast before???
man don’t even worry i am way ahead of you there 😭
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illuminatedbyauroras · 6 months
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ive been trying to eat cleaner, and have more veggies with every meal. i am loving it so far and i feel great for the most part, but holy sh!t (no pun intended) i am losing my intestines from all this fiber. like genuinely once a day i have an incinerator turn on and burn my guts. hoping i get used to it and it goes away 💀
honestly whatever gets me to my gw idc
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illuminatedbyauroras · 7 months
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I AM NOW UNDER 130 LBS!!!!!!!
OCTOBER WAS MY MONTH!!
I AM MEETING MY GOALS!!!
I am so excited, I have never been under 130 in my fully grown body :)) I only have to lose 10 more to be at my main GW!
then after that i can try for my UGW of 117 :)
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Really hope these are permanent because i LOVE these omg. They’re only like 5 cals and it tastes like sour strawberry candy. It’s been one of my safe “foods” recently.
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illuminatedbyauroras · 7 months
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I remember a couple years ago when I first started walking on the treadmill. I couldn’t walk for longer than 15 minutes which was SO embarrassing. Now i can walk for over an hour :)
Progress IS happening. You can do this. It just takes time and perseverance.
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