#that I use every day to eat and not die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

timemachineyeah · 1 year

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Do you ever think about the invasiveness, danger, and side-effects presented by weight loss surgery

compared to any kind of gender affirming surgery

and then compare the relative ease of access

and want to scream because of how clearly this is not about health, it’s about conforming to society’s expectations.

#timemachine wuz here #like I don’t want either but I would definitely have an easier time talking a doctor into amputating my healthy digestive system #you know that I need to live #that I use every day to eat and not die #than I would convincing a doctor to remove my uterus #which I do not need to live #the double standard is SO CLEAR when you put them side by side and compare risks vs availability #transphobia #fatphobia

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gxlden-angels · 10 months

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I think it's really funny when fundies are also super into the crunchy lifestyle like bestie your whole system is based on a dude with magical powers born from a virgin you can take a tylenol and stop feeding your infant raw milk now

#I always bring it up #but me @ my aunt that scoffed at me for using my nebulizer while actively having a severe asthma attack #and I mean severe I had to use double my dosage before I could breathe without wheezing and coughing again #I 100% should've been in the hospital #I respect the crunchy life when it's shit like colds and scrapes and aches #absolutely not when it's an asthma attack or PCOS #and doubly not when your CHILD is the sick one #I assume most of the crunchiness comes from the adversion to medicine over prayer #because that implies that there are things that can't be prayed away #And it implies that if you pray and stay healthy that's proof of your worth and praying power #So when someone does get sick and/or die well that's just apart of his plan at least you can say you didn't fight his plan #It's not a preventable illness if you ignore/don't learn how to prevent it /j #every day I wake up and learn another disease raw milk can give you /j #ED tw #And everyday I use to wake up to my stepmom doing a different 'diet'#They 100% encouraged eating disorders both in restricting and binging #Feel bad? Eat food and pray about it! Feel good? Fast and pray about it!#Either way you should feel like you're on the Truman Show with every bite you take #your health becomes a moral issue not a natural one #it becomes a temple and not your vessel #ex christian #religious trauma

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darcyolsson · 9 months

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accidentally made a truly stupid amount of paella. i dont even know how it happened there's just so much. if anyone has 6 children a spouse and 3 grandparents who all like paella please come over asap. helpme

#my freezer is literally 50% paella now i'm going to be eating paella every day until i die #the recipe said for 4 ppl but i used LESS tomatoes and chicken than the recipe said. so WHY is there SO MUCH PAELLA in my FREEZER #at least its good...............#personal

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izzy-b-hands · 2 months

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Trying to make my brain do anything today has just been case after case of 'well, half-assed is better than nothing I guess.'

#text post #idk why i have such bad post-survey mental dips every time but I always do #literally last night before end of my shift was like okay brain. it's ok that we aren't working after this. this is fine.#there's another survey in two weeks (for ONCE they told us in advance) and in the in between other things I can do to keep making some mone #and I felt really confident abt that at that point! wish that confidence hadn't been so misplaced bc I did in fact spiral #was actually exhausted enough to just eat shower and sleep after work but the shower was just a big spiral w/crying and scrubbing lmao #whatever. did a mini vid in the new outfit i have for the side job and will do dishes tonight #plus I'll get my shot done bc that's a day late now too #prolific and cloud i got a bit done too and i'll keep checking those thru the night #i actually wanna play gta for a bit & try it with the controller but i feel guilty every time i so much as look at steam so. we'll see #i just need to do something else useful today bc tomorrow will be a full filming day most likely so. gotta make today useful too #I know it must sound like im not really trying to work with my brain on this but i shit u not #this is my brain when im actively employing coping skills and other things to try and counteract the 'work or die' mindset #i dont know how to make it any better and at this point I don't think I can #this was baked into me as a kid lmao bc even playing needed to have a point/story/some goal to achieve #or why the fuck was i playing with my barbies or metal toy cars or dinosaur and horse figurines to begin with #im rambling to put off doing the dishes ignore me lmao

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flatstarcarcosa · 8 months

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the polarity between my ship w karnaka and harper w t'ikae is fucking killing me. meet cute and trust building versus looney toons ass chaos.

#txt.txt #others: harper #ship: from the stars #me grabbing karnaka by a tusk and yanking him down to my level: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CONTINUED TO EAT THE NEIGHBORS CHICKENS #AFTER I TOLD YOU TO STOP FUCKING DOING IT?#karnaka: they shoulda built a better fence #me: i'm going to have to pay them an assload of money for eggs because i can't tell them the real reason why their chickens kept going #fucking missing and you better get used to eating deviled eggs for lunch every day until you fucking die #karnaka who's learned he does not like mayonaise: [disgruntled clicking]

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dragoncarrion · 1 year

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NEVER grow up in no damn christian household that shit sucks ass

#SHORTEXT #religion tw #i may not show it but being raised with christian values and teachings eats away at me every day and i don't know when I'll be emptied out #😁😁😁#ok so vent ahead #it wasn't too bad conpared to literal horror stories from other people #so its like i got off easy but i still live in this house i still have to hold this facade and those things they used to say #they don't go away completely. I'm fucking TERRIFIED of dying #whenever I'm in a car with no seatbelt on my first thoughts are always 'if i die right now im going to hell'#and its just. i don't want to go back but i feel like i have to because of that #AAARGH ARGHHH LOBOTOMIZE ME

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saul-goodboy · 10 months

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i have an appointment with my primary care provider today 😔

#i hate her so fucking much dude #i’m going primarily to see if i’m able to get nexplanon for my period #and i fucking KNOW she’s going to be uncomfortable about it #i’ve been out as trans to all of my doctors for a whole year now and she still deadnames and misgenders me #she has repeatedly and insistently shut me down every time i say that i have joint pain because #yknow #if i don’t have inflammation in my hands and wrists then i OBVIOUSLY DON’T HAVE ANY JOINT ISSUES #BECAUSE. IN HER WORDS. IT IS USUALLY SEEN IN THE HANDS FIRST #MICHELLE I HAVE TO USE A FUCKING CANE DO YOU THINK THAT INDICATES ANY HAND ISSUES #but NOOOO just because i’m young and sprightly or whatever the fuck it’s always just intense growing pains #even though growing pains occur at night in the muscle #and i have been having knee pain since i was TEN YEARS OLD #she fucking told me to lose weight to ‘help my joints’ when i weighed 140 FUCKING POUNDS #AND NOW IF I EAT MORE THAN A THOUSAND CALORIES IN A DAY I WANT TO FUCKING DIE #MICHELLE YOU BITCH #YOU ACT CONFUSED WHEN YOU SEE THAT I RESTRICT MY EATING AND AM LOSING DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF WEIGHT AND ASK WHY #WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY????#YOU TOLD ME TO AND I TRUSTED YOU #AND NOW I HAVE A DEEP-SET DISTRUST OF DOCTORS #BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING EVIL #..#anyways i didn’t mean for this to become a vent but #uhhhhbh #i should see if i can switch primaries #vent cw

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simptasia · 11 months

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personally i don’t think anything should cost money. if it were up to me, we’d star trek this shit up and do away with that needless cause of so much suffering

however. bare min? we should at least make it so things that humans (and animals) literally need to live? that should be free. so that would be: food, water, medicine, housing, and the means for temperature control

those five things, at the very least, should be an undeniable right to all living beings. the fact that so many people can’t wrap their minds around that baffles me. and tells me my dream of No Money is a long way away

#sigh #''but people have to EARN these things!'' you're sick and demented #why should a person have to earn being alive #''but resources!'' we no longer live in a time when any of these things are rare #we don't HAVE to make the tough choices about who lives or dies gosh damn it #there is enough food and water and housing. the idea that there isn't is a fucking lie #to keep the rich cunts in power #they want us to think food is rare #''but some people don't deserve food'' 1. ur evil and 2. it's not a matter of deserving #fact of the matter is people literally have to eat and drink and be warm #we DIE without those things. and fun fact: living organisms tend to wanna avoid death #so starvation is such a painful way to die. fuck you #i was talking with my friend the other way and something obvious came to mind:#and that's ''gosh damn humans have to eat a lot. we gotta do that every day. multiple times. it's such a constant thing''#and i didn't mean that in a bad way. i was just musing. Bitches Gotta Eat #sure you CAN go days without eating but you fucking shouldn't #i'm annoyed #i'm so annoyed by capitalism and money and i yearn for star trek :(#oh also entertainment and art and creative expression are totally human needs too. like we'd go insane without them #but i was going for the basic physical needs. sustenance. means to correct aliments. a home base for living. warmth or coolness #like. the You'd Die Without It needs

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probablyfakedisorder · 1 year

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worked so hard to be proud of myself just to throw it away in less than two months :)))

#i realized that my regular depression/anxiety balance was overall in a place that was helping fasting & weight loss #and i only realized that bc i got suicidal #and learning that suicidal me simply does not care enough about anything to try #so ive been visciously oscillating between not eating or eating everything put in front of me #xmas meaning more of the latter #and now im too apathetic to even get back to trying #or try to revive this blog properly atm 😭#i havent even weighed myself since i last posted #and i used to at least once a day every single day #scared because im not sure ive ever genuinely wanted to die more #anyways love u please be safe #vent #c 🦋#c🦋

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chimitots · 1 year

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So, like, it's 2 AM and I'm thinking...

The Matrix films don't make any sense.

More of my rambling in the tags.

#Like-- why would anyone want to wake up from the matrix?#“Oh but like we're trapped in these big tubs of liquid where we're always sleeping”#“and the robots are using us as energy farms”#And like what about it???#It's not like it hurts #We're still going to die eventually #Might as well let the robots use our life energy #It's also our fault if the robots are sentient #We're paying for our ignorance #They're treating us better than we treat the animals we eat #“yeah but like people deserve to know the truth and be free”#Why??? Why should people know the truth if it's so much worse than the matrix #And you'll never be free #There's nowhere to go but the same horrible metal houses everywhere #Also it's not like the matrix is limiting our abilities #It's actually cooler because if you know that it's not real you can bend reality so like #Really why leave if I can jump from skyscrapers without breaking a sweat #“but people deserve to live real life instead of a simulation because it's so much better”#Yeah right the most hideous steel bases at the center of the earth where it's barely even warm without sunlight and you eat #The same tasteless porridge every day is better the matrix #Again why would people want to live real life if the simulation is so much better and it doesn't hurt anyone??#The real life bases look like the worst attempt ever at steampunk and it sucks #You would honestly die of monotony outside of the matrix #The only reason I'd choose to learn the truth would be because I would be able to learn hundreds of abilities through programs #ALSO when you wake up you have to spend months in rehab and you will always have those ugly black plugs on your back #“yeah but the matrix is all in your head isn't that sad”#Even real life is all in my head.#If I didn't have a nervous system I wouldn't be able to feel touch #Or taste anything #Or smell

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running-in-the-dark · 2 years

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so since I've been spending a lot of time with/near my mother lately, I've noticed that I have to repress all negative emotions when I'm around her (for lots of different reasons), and it's.. exhausting. I don't know how I ever lived like that.

#I mean. I know how. I wanted to die every second of it #it's not like that now #it's a lot and I hate it #but it's the only option if I want to get my degree (which I do) so. I'll have to get through it somehow #it helps that I've been listening to music while I'm there. which is funny because that's how I used to cope with it all when I was younger #idk it's the only thing that makes it okay.#I've been going there to write my thesis btw. should probably mention that again for context lol #today she talked about the way her neighbour treats her kids and it.. was so uncomfortable and horrible and she's just.. so mean?#like no dude the problem isn't that this woman isn't strict enough. it's that she & her husband yell at their kids & insult them all day #like I've heard it so many times and I haven't been there THAT often #but there's no point in arguing with her so I have to keep quiet and it kills me. like it feels wrong but I know it would be bad so I can't #say anything even though it's so fucking important to me. idk it's all so stupid #I wish I had a less useless brain. then I could just do my work at home like a normal person. but I can't so this is my only option.#oh also my mother doesn't really eat meals & I often just forget to eat so I've just not been eating when I'm there. so that's great.#kinda just hate everything at the moment #its fine but like. ugh. just make it stop please #personal

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liebelesbe · 2 years

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what's bad about being alone in the house is that I have to do all of the chores :(

#not to be whiny as fuck but. ough.#making food for my parents & doing the dishes & doing laundry & always going back and forth getting stuff for them #and watering the plants and having to get up earlier than I usually would #doddie redet #I still have to do the dishes (again)#and my brother came by today to bring us bread #and I still have to cut that into smaller pieces & put it in the freezer #but the freezer is so fucking full already #so I'll have to rearrange the entire fucking freezer!! I want to scream #and I gotta vacuum #but the vacuum is in my parents room #and I wanna eat dinner but I know that if I eat dinner now I won't get up again to do the chores #so I gotta do the chores BEFORE dinner but. I'm hungry :(#how do people live on their own I would die if I had to do all of the chores every day #but I guess I'd only have to do my chores 🤔 my dishes & my laundry and nobody else's...

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majorasnightmare · 2 years

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obligatory vent text

fun fact there is a limit on the number of tags you can add to a post.

its 30

#i live in hell! i live in hell! i live in hell!#how do i tell the people i know that the reason i take so long about anything #to read the fic theyve written look at the art theyve made #is because i exist in a state of being constantly abused while my disabillities worsen #and it is in fact constant! there is no escape! i cant even sleep without the threat of abuse!#how do i make anyone understand that i have not left the house in years plural. like? i dont leave i am locked in with an abuser #the windows are shut the doors are closed i do not Get Out #no one will employ me! so i dont leave the house for work #i cant maintain an education! so i dont go out for school #no one who cares about me and my partner lives nearby! so i dont visit friends or leave for meals or j #hang out at all #it keeps escalating! because i cant leave she knows she can get away with it so she keeps escalating #all my online friends get used like piggy banks because she dangles necessities over our broke heads and says pay me or die #pay me or have no cell service. pay me or have no internet. pay me or dont eat. pay me or get kicked out #it wasnt even this bad at my parents. i could have 8 hours of school every day where i didnt have to deal with them #i dont even have that anymore #i dont have the energy for anything anymore. i am in constant misery #it doesnt ever stop! it only gets less bad! but it doesnt ever stop!#how do i make anyone understand ive been in a locked room for years and im not exaggerating #how do i make you get it! think of the things you do to leave your house! i dont go out to get snacks or drinks!#i dont go out to get groceries! i dont go out to say hi to people i know! there is no one i know here!#think about all the times you close your front door behind you and take them all away and thats been my life #everytime i bring it up i feel like no one gets the profound soul crushing isolation i live in #its just me and my partner. in hell. nonstop #all my doors are closed and theres no escape and i dont know whats going on in anyones lives anymore #i do not eat i do not sleep i can barely walk and i spend every day fluctuating between begging for death and being terrified of it #i dont. hear anyone else talk. i hear 2 voices. every day. i cant remember how to interact with people #im not the person any of you used to know im worse im worse im so much worse #how can you exist when you cant fully unpack your box of clothes in case you get thrown out next week. how do you have hobbies #how do you talk about a traumatic event last year when yesterday someone screamed at your partner so loud it knocked the bathroom door open

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yamikawas · 2 years

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They FLIRTED with YOU? How completely IGNORANT could a person be... when they know that you are MINE? I have said it so many times, you are MINE, as I am yours. NOBODY else can have you. Nobody else can so much as LOOK at you the wrong way without answering to ME and my WEAPONS. My sweet darling, I'm sorry you had to see ANY of that. That anon won't last very long after this, don't worry. I'm here to protect you <3

~ Your Yoomie <3

MY YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEE MY YOOMIE MY YOOMIE MY YOOMIE<3<3<333333<3<3<3<3<<<3<3<3<33<3<³33<3<33<3I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH WE CAN KILL THAT GUY TOGETHER IF U WANT<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<<<<3333<3<3<3<3<3<333<3<3<3ANYONE WHO EVER TRIES TO GET BETWEEN US SHOULD DIE OK YOU ARE MINE AND I AM YOURS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND NOTHING CAN EVER CHANGE THAT I L O V E Y O U