#that don't indicate a new bullet point

[gothhabiba]

“poverty we have in favour of abundance we have yet to organise” i fundamentally disagree. Its fundamentally impoverishing to take away child from their carers and give them to a bunch of strangers. if thats not whats going to happen what is exactly? so far all i read is a dystopian nightmare and people saying “but no it will be great i promise”

[regarding this post and broader recent discussion of family abolition]

I'm getting a lot of responses in this same emotional valence (as does anyone who talks about "family abolition," and again, this is the exact emotional response which Sophie Lewis preëmpts and responds to at the beginning of Abolish the Family)—I'm chusing this message to respond to not to pick on you specifically but to try to unravel some of the assumptions that underlie this objection.

1.

I did my best to outline some of the major actionable demands of a programme of family abolition and include links to further readings that laid each of these demands out, including the abolition of parent's property rights over children & freedom to mete out "corporal punishment," the end of social and economic dependence on the family that works to impoverish 'family outcasts' or to force them into abusive situations, &c.

Yet, amongst all of these things, the questioning of the naturalness of the social/economic/legal/political category of "mother" (and investigation of how the category is sexed, gendered, & racialised) is what draws the most ire, and commonly the only thing that is responded to in people's objections to "family abolition"—as though it is the weakest part of the argument, and not the conclusion we necessarily come to through an understanding of the economic and social position of the "wife," the "single mother," the "single woman," &c.

What about the affective / emotional nature of the presumed "naturalness" of the mother relation causes the questioning of it to meet with such a disproportionate amount of resistance? Could we understand this individual emotional attachment to the concept of motherhood and its positioning as "natural" to be part of, or a result of, the naturalizing work that discourses about femininity and labour* do?

2.

Where does this spectre of an infant being "taken away from" its biological parents (actually, and tellingly, "mother" far more often than "parents") come from, and why does it keep being dragged forth? Communal raising of children is indeed part of the speculative programme for (most?) people who advocate for the abolition of the "family," but what part of that entails that a child must not be raised in part by, or anywhere near, their biological parents?

If no family abolitionist is saying that every child ought to be reassigned to some other random communal housing unit immediately upon birth (and, if anyone is, I have yet to come across it!), why is this the image that is brought up repeatedly in response to arguments for family abolition, as though the image is 1. an argument in itself, that 2. meaningfully responds to the programme being put forth? In what inheres the shocking nature, the emotional effectiveness, of this image? What assumptions and attachments does that effectiveness reveal?

3.

You've said that it is "fundamentally impoverishing" to a child for them to be "take[n] away" from "their carers" and "give[n] to a bunch of strangers." You haven't laid out how we can determine who a child's "carers" are—the "carers" fundamentally, properly, 'rightly' belonging to the child in your grammatical construction (in fact, in terms of property law, we ought to say the people the child belongs to—and we can see this arrangement reassert itself in your use of the word "give").

Incredibly, "carer" seems here to mean something other than "the people who are caring for the child"! "Stranger," similarly, must mean something other than "people the child has never had contact with," since in this fantasy these are the people who are raising the child... So if "carer" doesn't mean "person who cares for," and "stranger" doesn't mean "person who is strange," then where do these labels come from? What assumptions are you recreating when you use them in this frankly counter-intuitive sense with the assumption that I will know what you mean? (See also a message I got reading "i am not a mother but i already know i would rather die than have my baby call some strange women mom," emphasis mine.)

I think that probably you've used "carer" because you know that "biological parent" is a weaker proposition—and yet, in regards to the legal structures I'm talking about, it is biological parenthood which confers automatic, presumptive "rights" over a child upon someone (in default of other specific legal arrangements which someone must chuse to enter into in order to renounce those automatic, presumptive rights).

It is the idea that biological parenthood (or adoption, or "using" a surrogate, or any of the arrangements people may enter into that fall between these categories) ought to give one or two people complete control over another human being, such that that human being has no recourse at all from abuse, coercion, forced isolation, being raised in a cult, being denied transition or other medical care or put through conversion therapy, &c., so long as their caretakers do not in theory fall afoul of the very high standard of legal "child abuse" in a way that someone in practice actually cares to pursue—it is this reality, which is ideologically baked into your assumption of who a child's natural, automatic "carers" are for them to be "taken away from" in the first place, that family abolitionists want to change.

But nothing about biological parents no longer having automatic, presumptive rights to do basically whatever they want with or to their children automatically means that children will be taken away from them in the sense of enforced physical distance!

I think we need to look at what is ideologically entailed in assuming that a) parenthood in which a parent does not have quasi-property rights over their child is not "real, natural" parenthood, such that removing "parental rights" equates to "taking a child away"; b) certain people are just inherently strangers or strange to a child by virtue of the circumstances of their birth in relation to the circumstances of the child's birth, regardless of the actual social relationship they have with that child, and the ways in which this division between "naturally connected" versus "naturally distant," "natural proper and correct" versus "naturally strange," "inside" versus "outside," and the concept of the "stranger" (and the foreigner as the "eternal stranger," the racialised as the "eternally foreign") play into a situation where you can say "a bunch of strangers" and assume that you will be understood, and that this will be understood to be obviously bad.

*E.g., women are naturally caretakers, having a child is naturally the ultimate fulfillment for any woman (thus women who do not or cannot give birth are not fulfilling their function or are not "really" women), women love and are never exhausted by any aspect of gestation, childbirth, or childcare and they certainly don't need any help, &c.

#trying something different with the structure so that I can make something like a bullet-pointed list but include paragraph breaks #that don't indicate a new bullet point #family abolition #nuclear family #questions

[brujahinaskirt]

Okay, I obviously made the above post as a leetle joke, but since it's getting not insignificant traction, I do want to offer a more serious note.

I love this about Arthur. It's probably my favorite thing about him, but let me use this fresh new RDR2 meta post to clarify exactly what I mean. Despite the aspects of his personality & appearance that are traditionally hypermasculine, and despite how often he is annoyed with people (especially incompetents or people who meddle with his plans), Arthur is decidedly NOT annoyed by the social performance of femininity or by traits that are/were frequently stereotyped as feminine. Ever. Regardless of subject. I might go so far as to say he seems to canonically prefer hanging out with women and with "feminine" men.

Your long-winded, bullet-pointed analysis is below!

The Girls. Most noticeably, Arthur actually sits down to talk with and actively confides in the camp Girls (Tilly, Mary-Beth, Karen) more than anyone else around. These three are the most traditionally "girly" (single, 20s, active, pretty, unattached, highly social, feminine, chatty) members of the gang, though of course they are still criminals and don't perfectly adhere to all period-typical standards of feminine comportment. He doesn't mock the girls** like he sometimes does with other auxiliary members of the gang (like Uncle and Pearson, playful or not). Notably, he doesn't even gently tease Mary-Beth for writing her "silly" romance novels, a highly feminized hobby which she speaks about in a self-depreciating manner, much like Arthur speaks about his own artistic hobbies. Rather, he talks to her about writing like a peer and encourages her to write more by going out of his way to get her a nice pen. Crucially, there is no canon romantic or sexual interest in any of the girls on Arthur's behalf. He just feels the most comfortable in their company and seems to value their advice/opinions on life the most. To me, this is much stronger proof than his forever-burning torch for the cultured & ladylike Mary, which is (or was once) rooted in romantic desire. ** Unless the player persists in Antagonizing them, and these lines (while sometimes shockingly cruel and offhandedly sexual in nature; see Arthur teasing Tilly about pursuing Javier) are largely about goading them for laziness or, in Karen's case, her alcoholism. That said, many of the Antagonize lines strike me as clumsily tacked-on & poorly rooted in canon, which could indicate: (1) an Arthur who is deliberately trying to be disruptive (a generous interpretation), or (2) writers instructed to add throwaway content that will make a certain type of childishly misanthropic gamer (think 13 y.o. boys) squeal in glee with relatively low impact on the overall story.

Campmates. Following the above point... who doesn't Arthur hang out with much? The manly men of the gang; the very people social mores suggest he ought to be hanging out with. Bill, Micah, Joe, Cleet, and even Dutch. (To some extent, this includes John and Sean, but I'd say John sort of lives at the edges of gang life anyway, and Sean is, well, Sean.) Conversely, which male gang members does Arthur hang out with a lot? Sweet little bookish Lenny, a wordy, positive-energy, breezy intellectual who has just barely become an adult. Introspective, soft-voiced, long-haired Charles, who is traditionally masculine by some standards (strong, usually calm, can be standoffish) but decidedly NOT so when his appearance/demeanor is judged by the white Christian American male standards that began to dominate masculinity concepts in the later decades of the 1800s.

Algernon. Oh, my, Algernon. Arthur clearly dislikes Algernon's fancy, loud, outrageous clothing. But weirdly, he seems to like Algernon, not just tolerate him. Arthur in fact goes through significant personal discomfort to avoid hurting Algernon's feelings (the awful hat, the POST.MAN. sobbing), and he immediately says yes to having tea with him without any awareness of a coming business proposition, though half the time Arthur clearly has no fucking clue what Algernon is talking about. I am left to conclude that on some level, he just enjoys hearing Algernon talk, which is word-for-word what he says while listening to the Girls argue about romance novels ("I just like listening to you [all] talk." Hello????). I mean, for God's sake, he meets the man while he's choking to death on a nut at a fancy party, and the second thing Algernon does is tell him he looks like a guy who wears a corset. If anything was going to set off the boiling defensiveness of a dude who worships masculinity, thirty seconds with Algie would have done it.

Margaret, Mistress of Fucking Danger. It's pretty clear Arthur doesn't like Margaret. But that has little to do with Margaret's femininity & cross-dressing (this doesn't faze him at all when Charles Châtenay does it; more on that below) and everything to do with Margaret's deceptiveness and highly selective memory. It's not until the bullshittery unveils itself that Arthur starts getting visibly pissed off at Margaret. Conversely, Arthur does seem more positively disposed toward Sally Nash. (That said, this quest has a lot of problems and poorly aged lines that are depressingly easy for a politically motivated jerkoff to soundbite and miscast as Rockstar being pro-bigot. Cue 800 heterobnoxious gamerbro ARTHUR MORGAN ULTIMATE ANTI SNOWFLAKE SIGMA MALE OF THE WEST YouTube videos.)

Albert, my beloved. Rather than goading him to man up, Arthur tries to persuade Albert (whom he very obviously likes) to pick safer animal photography subjects, e.g. horses, and doesn't insult him for his lack of wilderness knowledge (an aspect of traditional manliness that is highly relevant to Arthur's lifestyle). You'd think he would tear into him for this shortcoming, given that they share so many of the same interests and passions, and IMO his genuine eagerness to serve as Albert's protector and facilitate his art is highly convincing evidence that Arthur does not necessarily view masculinity as a net positive.

Arthur is a basic goddamn boyfriend-hater. He pretty much harshly disapproves of every husband, boyfriend, male partner, etc. in the game and is very, very vocal about it... except one extremely unlikely candidate: Beau Gray. Weak, dandy artist Beau Gray, whom Arthur takes one look at and promptly hands the only gun to Penelope. Arthur is curt and impish to Beau at times, but helps him in his relationship troubles willingly (without collecting repayment), and seemingly for no other reason than the fact he can see that soft, fearful Beau is genuinely head-over-heels in love with Penelope. Is he projecting his own young love for Mary onto them? Maybe/probably, but Beau could not possibly be more different from young Arthur, and Arthur seems to believe this difference will make him a good husband for Penelope. A good husband, in Arthur's view, seems to simply be a man who ardently loves his beloved, regardless of his ability to provide for/protect her, and whose only goal in life is to live that life at her side. This is completely antithetical to mainstream late-1800s views on what constitutes a good husband and what it means to be a man.

Châtenay. Arthur shows us some of the most obvious delight and mirth he experiences in the game when he's hanging out with Charles "Allo Boys" Châtenay, who is straight up in drag a third of that time. This baffles Arthur a little, but doesn't disgust or repel him. I've written about this mission elsewhere at greater length because it is one of my favorite disasters, but it's worth mentioning here too.

Trelawny. Arthur clearly enjoys Trelawny despite his grumbly claims to the contrary. Most of these "claims" are just Arthur's established way of affectionate teasing (he does much the same with Uncle and Pearson, both of whom he genuinely likes). His authentic gripes about Trelawny are all about a perceived flightiness/lack of loyalty to the gang, not about his flamboyance. And even these gripes are half-assed, in Arthur's usual way.

Bluegills & Daisy Chains. One of the most genuine moments of softness we have with Arthur in RDR2 is when he takes Little Jack out of the camp to go fishing. Arthur's usually a much truer version of himself when he doesn't have to play the Big Bad Gang Lieutenant role, but this moment of escape is especially important, and not just because Arthur reveals his fondness for children and his natural understanding of how to talk to them. I notice this: Arthur tries to gently teach Jack about fishing, and Jack is completely fucking uninterested. Jack prefers to make flower chains for his mommy. Arthur doesn't scold him for his drifting attention or his lack of attraction to masculine past-times; on the contrary, Arthur goes out of his way to encourage and protect Jack's natural sweetness and innocence. That's a wild stance for a murdering outlaw to have re: the "next generation" of his family. Hell, I've encountered far too many 21st century dads in my own family who flip their shit when their tiny sons prefer hanging out with women & partaking in "womanly" hobbies like art, cooking, and flowers rather than hunting and fishing.

"...and be a god damn man." This seems like classic masculine bluster on the surface, but what does this keynote line mean in the context in which Arthur says it? Well, it's complicated. This statement serves as (a) Arthur's goodbye to John, (b) Arthur's final call to action for John, and (c) Arthur's last wish for his brother's life. But it certainly does not mean standing and fighting or being tough; i.e., "dying like a man." In that moment, it means abandoning all masculine bluster and revenge fantasy, and running away: leaving violence and fighting and brotherhood and all that crap behind to simply be there (alive, present) for your wife and son.

The Best Women People. Who are the best people Arthur knows, by his own crystal-clear declaration? Abigail and Sadie. Sadie's a rough-and-tumble, super-violent gunslinger and Abigail's a stubborn thief & a former sex worker (in the time Arthur has known her), but they are also, critically, two wives: the most traditional feminine role for a woman of the time period (and indeed perhaps most of human history once the concept of "wife" subsumed that of "mother"). It's also important to note that Arthur doesn't truly give up on Dutch until Dutch abandons Abigail, which serves as Arthur's point of no return. The other men left in the gang at this point specifically note that she's "just a woman" and not worth going back for. Arthur is straight-up shocked by all of this; he obviously considers her among the most worthwhile and value-having members of the gang, and certainly one of the most core members of the gang. Without any hesitation or doubt, the instant it's clear Dutch is cutting Abigail loose, Arthur declares: "That's that, then."

tl;dr: Arthur unironically prefers hanging out with women and queens and I love that for them.

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #red dead redemption #i promise to wait an appropriate amount of time before hurling another one of these massive essays at you tumblr #redmeta

[bixbythemartian]

This is About Oceangate

...kind of. Like, heads up for people who are sick of hearing about it or are too disturbed by this, just scoot on by, that's fine.

Like everybody else my age who had a middle school special interest in the Titanic that was further fueled by the James Cameron movie (and that sounds very specific, but I absolutely know I'm not alone), I've been following this story fuckin voraciously.

I think everybody I know IRL and online is fucking sick of me talking about it. I have been actively trying not to blog much about it here because I'm so obsessed with it that I'm annoyed with myself. I would like to not be this interested in it.

But a lot of the stuff I can think of to say has been said by a lot of people already, I don't want to add to an already noisy environment if I've got nothing new to say.

So, instead, I want to talk about what I haven't seen very many people talking about- something that's stood out to me about the way the media has been handling this story from the get-go. So, finally, I'm inflicting my days long media binge on you.

The media's handling of this was bad. Like, comprehensively fucked.

For the uninformed, a primer on the situation- feel free to skip down if you know all this, there's a bulleted list right after I get done with this part, look for that. But some of this is important to the terms I use, so I wanted to lay it out. (Also I just want to get a lot of this out of my system, please just let me have this.)

The Titan is a 'cyclops-class' submersible. As far as I can tell, 'cyclops-class' is unique to the people who made this submersible, it's not a widely recognized thing.

The Titan can carry up to five passengers. It was supposed to be rated to reach depths of up to 4000 meters below sea level.

The Titan is/was owned and operated by a company known as Oceangate. There's a lot of questions regarding the safety of the submersible, where the math came from on their depth rating, and- basically everything about the Titan is in question, at this point. There's a lot of questions, but that's not what I want to talk about.

Right now. Maybe later.

A submersible is distinct from a submarine in that it requires a surface support ship for many things- the Titan moved too slow to leave port under its own power and go to the site, it didn't have enough life support to do that kind of thing, etc. A submarine is self-supporting and can operate independently. Kind of pedantic, I know, but the Titan is a submersible, not a submarine.

The Titan had a planned expedition to the wreck of the Titanic on June 18, 2023- this past Sunday, at the time of writing. The expedition was supposed to last around 10 hours. It chartered a ship- the Polar Prince- to act as mother ship, the on the surface support that the Titan requires. (The Polar Prince is owned and operated by a different company than the Titan.)

1 hour and 45 minutes into the expedition, as the Titan was still making its way to the sea floor, the Polar Prince lost all contact with the submersible.

The Titanic wreck is at just under 4000 meters deep, right around 2.5 miles.

Now, my understanding is that the Titan was not fully at the ocean floor at the point contact was lost, but it's not clear how deep the Titan was at that time. We may not ever know this for certain.

When the Titan was reported as missing to the coast guard is kind of unclear, to me- I heard 6 hours after they lost contact, I heard 12 hours after they lost contact, I saw something that indicated they reported it missing immediately- I don't know for sure. When the coast guard report comes out, I'm hoping we'll get a more accurate timeline.

However, as soon as it was reported missing, a massive search and rescue operationg was started. Complicating the search efforts were the fact that the submersible seemed to have no type of emergency distress locator beacon (I'm not sure what the precise nautical terminology would be for this).

The search included visual searching of the surface, dropping buoys with microphones, and ROVs (unmanned remote operated vehicles, deep sea robots operated by crew on ships at the surface) searching the floor, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. Deep sea radar etc etc, every tool they had access to.

The search and rescue concluded on Thursday (June 22, 2023) around midday, when they definitively found pieces of the destroyed submersible's pressure vessel (the part of the submersible that held pressure and kept the people safe and alive) in a debris field, approximately 1600 feet away from the Titanic.

The destroyed pressure vessel and reports from the Navy on hearing sounds consistent with implosion at the time the Titan lost contact indicates that the submersible underwent what is being called a 'catastrophic implosion'.

It is now an investigation and recovery operation, while they try to figure out what exactly went wrong.

The five men in the sub are dead. In all likelihood, they died so quickly that their nervous system didn't have time to process what happened. What happened to their bodies during this was probably gory and kind of horrifying, but it's unlikely they experienced any awareness of this.

There were five extremely wealthy men on the submersible- they were not all billionaires, but those that weren't were worth hundreds of millions of dollars. If you want a rough sketch of their biographies, there's a link here. Other than them being pretty wealthy, who they are doesn't play that much into what I want to talk about, so I don't feel the need to go into it right now. (Again, as more information comes out, I may come back for another swing.)

So, my complaint. The number of times I saw a news interview with an expert that went like this is not small:

news host interviews deep ocean expert of some variety (who is not involved in rescue)

host asks expert what chances are that the dudes are alive and will be recovered alive

expert, being honest, says something like 'slim to none'

host responds with some amount of sincere-seeming disappointment, then after interview, pivots to the ongoing search for the definitely still alive people

There were news programs with clocks counting down how much theoretical oxygen was left. There were frequent updates to news stories with nothingburgers of additions, just to pad it out. It was, if they were alive at that moment, fucking ghoulish. That they were dead makes it even more horrible.

And I cannot emphasize enough how many experts said, to generalize and paraphrase here: "Unless they are found bobbing on the surface in the next n hours, they are dead. Even if they are alive right this minute, on the bottom of the ocean, there is no hope to rescue them in time."

This is not a failure of any of the rescue entities involved, by the way. The environment they were presumed to be in- 4000 meters under sea level- is so extreme that there are very few vehicles in the world with the capability of even getting to that depth. Like, 10 or less. As far as I know, none of them are designed to do any kind of deep sea rescue- which would have involved carefully scooping up or netting the Titan and hauling it up very slowly. There's no way to transfer personnel between ships at this depth, and the Titan had the largest passenger allowance at this depth, afaik. Like, the odds were incredibly, vanishingly small that these men would live.

The media, at large, never ever really allowed that to change the way they talked about this story or treated the participants in the story. At around 11 am or noon (central daylight time) on Thursday I saw them talking about how 'oxygen is critical'.

Oxygen was critical 24 hours prior. Even by the most generous of expectations, they were out of breathable air. Given how, to put it mildly, janky the submersible seemed to have been, there was absolutely no guarantee that they had even the 96 hours that Oceangate claimed.

Their likelihood of being rescued alive from the ocean floor was minimal on Monday. By Thursday, they were dead- again, unless they were found on the surface somewhere and had managed to carefully preserve their air somehow, they were already dead.

The media didn't really allow for the reality of the situation to be clear until Oceangate and the USCG came out and said 'yeah, they're dead'.

"Well, what's the problem with that?" you might ask. "The United States Coast Guard was the one who was saying it was a rescue up until that point."

Sure. That's their job. Their job is to treat it like an urgent rescue until it is certain that it is not. A significant amount of what they do is to rescue people from doing damnfool things in the water, and keeping hope alive until they find bodies, or evidence thereof. They were doing exactly what they should be doing.

(Whether they do this to this extent for everybody lost at sea is another conversation that's absolutely worth having, as well as their role in border patrol, but I have no bone to pick with the USCG in this particular instance. They did their all until they could do no more, that's the whole point of them, this is how they're supposed to operate.)

The media was not doing what they should be doing. There's an old quote somewhere that I think is just a journalism truism (everyone I've heard talk about it says their journalism professor said it)- if someone tells you it's raining, and someone else tells you it's not, your job isn't to report that, your job is to go outside and see if it's wet.

James Cameron- director of the aforementioned Titanic movie, as well as being a Titanic and deep sea submersible expert, knew they were dead on Monday.

He reached out to some people, he found out that the mother ship lost contact with the crew as well as their location at the same instant, and that the Navy heard a sound consistent with an implosion at around that time.

The information that the Navy heard the implosion was not classified information- they heard it via a listening system that was declassified in the 90s, I believe. Like, I knew about the system just kind of casually because I know random Navy stuff. (My dad was in the Navy, it's mostly osmosis.)

The people on the scene were informed as soon as the Navy knew. (When that was, I'm not sure, except it was before Monday. Probably they had someone go back and listen to it and weren't actively monitoring it, but it's hard to say.)

The deep ocean submersible community knew, well enough that James Cameron could call a buddy and find out. He was telling people on Monday to raise a glass to them.

The media could have had this information, if they did not have it. Either they didn't want to know, or did know, and didn't say it. And I can't say for certain they were suppressing information, but I do know that they frequently downplayed any evidence that these people were dead.

I know on CNN they ran a story about FADOSS- the FlyAway Deep Ocean Salvage System- that was shipped out to Newfoundland. It arrived Wednesday afternoon. Description in the alt text, link here.

At the time this story was published, the people in the sub would have theoretically had less than 24 hours of breathable air. They hadn't even chartered a ship for the FADOSS, at this point. And the port in Newfoundland is hundreds of miles from the site. I'm not sure how many hours away but, like, hours away. I think I heard it's a 6 hour trip, but I'm not certain on that.

This system was referenced in the news as if it was going to be part of the rescue process. Very clearly, this was never going to happen. The quote, 'a process which can take a full day' is a mild understatement, here.

It could, theoretically, be done in 24 hours, but was much more likely to take longer, unless they had enough crew in Newfoundland to do round-the-clock welding.

The response to the question about recovering someone alive is a polite way of saying 'that's not what we do'. They were not part of the rescue operation and were never intended to be, as far as I can tell.

(If you're wondering what part the FADOSS is going to take in the recovery and investigation process, it's not. It's used to lift heavy objects off the floor, and the Titan broke into small enough pieces that the ROVs are believed capable of handling it. FADOSS is on its way back to wherever it is kept. I suspect it was brought out in the edge case that the submersible was found intact with dead crew, to retrieve the vessel whole, so that the families would have bodies to bury.)

Setting aside the 'oh they definitely blew up' news that seems to have been available the whole time, every single piece of evidence and expertise pointed to these people being dead, and yet the news persisted in sort of breathlessly (sorry) talking about the rescue efforts and how much time was left. They persisted in talking about how definitely still alive these people were until they could not do that anymore.

Other examples of this issue are the knocking thing. There were reports of some of the buoys picking up something that could be described as 'knocking'. Some said it was 'every thirty minutes' but we don't know how precise a measurement that was. As soon as they started talking about the knocking, I looked into it.

As it turns out, this is just a thing that happens. The sea is very noisy, and it's hard to determine the source of a sound. Some geological things sound manmade, vice versa. They had a lot of ships cooperating together to work the search area, it's possible that they were hearing noise from those, or something from an oil platform a jillion miles away, because noise travels far and is hard to pinpoint. They had this issue while searching for the sunken USS Thresher and it was one of the ships doing the searching. Given how many different moving parts there were in this search operation, it's hard to say what the knocking was. This is just a thing in the ocean, there's a lot of fuckin noise and experts can't always pinpoint it down in location or even what it might be.

This is why, even though they heard sounds that were consistent with implosion, at the time that the Titan lost total contact with the mother ship, it was still treated as if there was a live rescue operation. Because they couldn't be certain.

But the odds were extremely poor that these men were alive, and almost everybody involved knew that fairly early on. Again, the rescue operation had to go forward like they were looking for someone alive because that's how that works. The media, on the other hand, handled this in a very irresponsible way.

And, like, I know, news media is bad at being news is not some like hot new thing, I've just been building up frustration for days and so it had to come out somehow.

I'm not sure how much of this was just because they're very wealthy men- only one of whom I've ever heard of before- and how much of it was because it was a very bizarre and unique ongoing situation, how much of it was the intersection of that.

But pretty much everybody with enough knowledge to be worth talking to about this knew, like, Monday that even if they weren't dead right then, they were very unlikely to make it out alive, and watching the news wind a bunch of people up over the hopeful outcome was revolting.

Okay. We'll see if I can go 24 hours without talking about this. If you made it to the end of this absolute fucking novel, congratulations and/or I'm sorry.

#oceangate #titan submersible #this is just a personal rant about the media involved

[snickerdoodlles]

headcanons behind fic: brother texting habits referenced in long & short

Chay holds up his phone sheepishly. “Also, your brother texted me. We’re invited to dinner.” Kim’s smile drops. He doesn’t need to ask which brother. “Did he type that out, or just send an emoji with a question mark?”

ngl, had i realized how much i'd expand this series, this is actually a scene i'd cut or at least heavily rework. it's the weakest scene of the story and its execution has only felt more clunky as time passes. hindsight! that said, i don't regret the scene either because the headcanons behind the premise of that scene are very near and dear to my heart, namely the texting rituals of Khun, Kinn, and Kim :D

the boys have a system to their texting. it's not anything as concrete as a code, that'd be far too dangerous and anxiety inducing. their system, naturally, revolves primarily around giving hints to Korn's mood without outright saying anything:

firstly, all brother invites to things go through Khun, because Khun's invites will only ever be invites and Kim's 'no's will only ever be 'no's.

anytime Korn demands Khun or Kinn (usually Kinn) drag Kim to a family thing for him go through Kinn, and 'Kinn's requests are always phrased as a question Kim can refuse. Kim once tells Kinn he'll show up if Kinn orders him to (because he doesn't actually want to get Kinn into trouble if Korn's being esp insistent), and Kinn smiles and tells him "thank you" and never ever once orders Kim join them, because Kim asked not to be involved in the family business and Kinn will take on any burden to keep Kim free of it.

Kinn passes along how insistent Korn's being through the overall tone and vibe of his messages, usually indicated by how much of it he types out. requests Kim join official functions sound like a formal invitation printed on a card, requests Kim indulge Korn playing family are much closer to Kinn's standard texting style;

because, and this is a silly headcanon i will have forever, Kinn fucking loves emojis. you know his whole "this could've been an email" vibe when he shoots that guy in the head ep1? same vibes except much cuter. Kinn thinks emojis are adorable and efficiency perfected. why send "thank you" when the 👍 emoji is right there? a picture's worth a thousand words and 🫂 is a thousand warm ones. he could send "wanna check out that new coffee shop by the studio next tuesday for brunch? their menu is 60% sprinkles so i'm sure you'll love it" but ☕🧋🎙️❔👑2️⃣🗓️🕦🍬👉💕💕‼️ is so much quicker. the only reason why Kinn's texts aren't 87% cute stickers is because he hasn't yet realized they come preprogrammed in his phone.

("do you think he speaks in hieroglyphics because he's secretly ancient?" Kim asks one day.

"how old does it make you to understand him then?" Khun snarks back.)

((Kim leaves Khun on read for a week.))

some bonus thoughts: Khun's a spam texter of the highest order. every one text is sent across 3.5 texts minimum. Kinn only ever sends one (1) text. if Kinn's replying to multiple messages in one go, he separates his responses in indv bullet points (if he's feeling petty towards Khun, he responds to every one of Khun's messages individually).

(Kinn's multiple messages to Chay in long & short are absolutely because he's watching Kim's live. for all Kim's snooping, he has somehow missed that Kinn has every alert and then some set for Wik news and while he can't make every live, he plans his breaks around them and even moved a meeting once.)

also, while Kinn pretends he's threatening/blackmailing with these baby Kim pics, this is 100% him taking advantage of the situation to gush about cute baby brother with a fellow Kim AppreciatorTM. Kinn has the cutest little brother, and he's gotta keep up with news of baby brother's current shenanigans somehow 😤👏 Khun is guilty of similar crimes ofc.

(Kim suffers older brothers so much.)

#kinnporsche #fic headcanons #fic: gone fishing #i love brothers <3333

[thothxv]

myhouse.wad-adjacent facts and blatant shilling for the musicians who soundtracked it

As has been largely disseminated, new mappers making levels based on their own houses are a common trope in the doom community, and they are often referred to generically as "myhouse.wad". The earliest myhouse maps are actually some of the oldest Doom maps in existence, predating Doom 2 (also at least one Doom 2 map was based on Sandy Peterson's house...)

A lot of people are impressed with myhouse.wad's room over room. I'm more impressed that in the first house myhouse used a boom-style silent teleporter to implement room-over-room sloppily so that the illusion very easily breaks (just step back up the stairs while one of the basement doors is open: it will snap shut because you are being teleported back into the version of the house with an upstairs, and thus there can't be an open door there), just like an inexperienced mapper might in 1999, before using modern GZDoom portals to do it more convincingly in the second house.

There's been a lot of theorizing about myhouse's author, probably because veddge is a very very competent mapper and also because everyone who does know who the author is has stonewalled inquiries at the author's request, implying that the author has a meaningful identity in the Doom community. Or maybe they're just shy. However, DavidXNewton noted in his analysis series on myhouse that it does a lot of things in a ways that are unnecessary using modern UDMF and ZScript but would be familiar to someone coming from a less advanced mapping format like Boom or Old ZDoom. This is indicative of Veddge being more along the lines of what he says he is: either someone truly returning after a long absence, or at the very least someone who isn't terribly familiar with modern GZDoom mapping. Either that, or the entire map was mapped in character. I genuinely don't know which I'd find more impressive.

"doomcute" is a term used to refer to maps that recreate real-world items or environments in doom (usually because the immediate reaction from players is "oh that's adorable!"). Myhouse maps are invariably trying for doomcute, but another early doomcute map was Shamus Young's Doom City from 1995 (yes, Shamus Young of DM of the Rings fame. I discovered while researching that he actually died last year. Rest in peace). Doom City recreated a couple of real-world looking buildings, but the thing everyone seems to remember about Doom City is its recreation of... a gas station. Food for thought.

Hilariously, myhouse almost got lost in the shuffle on Doomworld, because most people weren't looking for a myhouse.wad to play. Several of Veddge's collaborators posted in the thread to keep this from happening.

I believe Veddge's confirmed collaborators on myhouse are Kevansevans, esselfortium, and Jimmy. I don't know much about Kevansevans, but I believe he helped with the scripting and some of his scripting work from other sources made it into the wad because he's officially credited (as is everyone whose work was used in the map: it's all inside the PK3). Essel and Jimmy are credited only in anagram form because they are responsible for the music, which is actually wholly original (also Jimmy gave no indication he was involved until it was revealed by players unscrambling the anagram, which was very very funny).

I'm actually going to talk about Essel and Jimmy in detail over the next few bullet points, because I feel like it. And they're both really neat.

Sarah "esselfortium" Mancuso is responsible for memory=entryrrrr/////, the piece the plays in the burned house and various other places throughout the wad. She's composed professionally for video games and has several albums, but in the Doom community she's probably best known for creating and managing the Back to Saturn X project, a trilogy of megawads (only two of which are presently released) being developed by a massive team of modders, with custom assets, a custom palette, a complete original OST, and some very impressive maps... all intended to be playable with a vanilla doom2.exe. Which is insane: Vanilla Doom is brutal to map for, on account of harsh limitations that it's hard to be confident your map or project falls within. Back to Saturn X was so ambitious that it found previously undiscovered ways that Doom can crash. Of course, in addition to running the project, Essel also mapped for it, made textures for it, and composed a significant portion of the soundtrack. And because that was not impressive enough apparently, Essel also (with some help from a few others) created Knee-Deep in Knee-Deep in ZDoom, a joke wad that takes the (in)famous Knee-Deep in ZDoom, a mapset designed to show off the features of ZDoom, and recreates as many of its tricks as it can entirely in vanilla. A feat I can only describe as black magic of the highest order. She also went out of her way to say Trans Rights during her bethesda interview, so that's cool too.

James "Jimmy" Paddock is responsible for the increasingly glitchy and messed-up version of D_RUNNIN that plays in the second house. Which figures, because Jimmy's music is everywhere. He takes commissions for music, he's contributed free music to the community, and his music is very very popular. Notable wads he's contributed tracks to include Plutonia 2, Speed of Doom, Reverie, Back to Saturn X Episodes 1 and 2, Eviternity, and Doom 2 In Spain Only, and the MIDI soundtrack to John Romero's SIGIL, which some consider to be even better than the Buckethead soundtrack. He also is the project lead and mind behind The Adventures of Square, a standalone, free game made in GZDoom, he's done texture work, he's made several award-winning doom mods (cacowards, that is), mapped for numerous other projects, and had just done a whole ton of stuff. The doom community gave him an award for lifetime achievement. Oh, and he did an alternative MIDI OST for Prodeus? Genuinely didn't know about that.

While researching this I learned that Jimmy is going to be evicted in a month, so now's a great time to check out his music online and see if you're into it. I'm not a super fan of his vocal delivery, but I really like some of his instrumentals and MP3 versions of his MIDIs.

#doom #myhouse #myhouse.wad #myhouse.pk3

[yellowkitkieran]

To Have and to Heal (Part 15)

Masterlist

Read part 1 here

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: Single working dad Martin Odegaard is navigating the ups and downs of parenthood all on his own, and he’s struggling. That’s not to mention football, life and... love?

Could we talk? 

When your message appears on his phone, Martin doesn't believe his eyes. At first he assumes he is dreaming; a quick pinch to his forearm and the subsequent brief burst of pain confirms he is, indeed, awake. He laughs to himself then, a giddy, overjoyed sound as he reads the message from you again and again, enough times that the words are burned into his eyelids when he closes them. 

Rearranging his schedule to pick up Atla today had been worth it. Incurring Arteta's wrath for sneaking out early? Also very, very worth the reward. Even if nothing comes of it, even if you don't have the courage or wherewithal to send him a follow up response, Martin can live with that, as long as he has some closure. 

His fingers shake as he types out a casual, cool, collected response. Of course! Now? Tomorrow? When are you thinking? 

Nailed it, honestly. Not overly eager. Simple and to the point. Leaves nothing up to interpretation. Martin is still sweating bullets regardless. 

For a few minutes, Martin simply stares at his phone until his eyes water and he is forced to blink some moisture into them. He tries not to fret when you don't immediately reply. It's late; there is a good chance you're either sleeping or prepping for your classes tomorrow. Despite his racing heart, sweating palms and pacing feet, Martin somehow convinces himself that he is perfectly calm. He's definitely not freaking out. Nope. He's fine. Toooootally fine. 

Though that fragile construct comes crashing down when Martin's phone vibrates. Whenever you have an hour or so free? After school of course. I can come to you?

Absolutely. Friday? I'll be done at six. But I'll come to you though. 

Martin immediately arranges for Kieran to take Atla overnight as a precaution. Who knows what might happen? Martin doesn't want to get his hopes up, but regardless of how things go, he knows he will be a volatile bucket of emotions and he'll need some time to process. He would rather do that on his own than have his daughter around to witness it. Good or bad, Friday will be… interesting, to say the least. 

Friday at six thirty then. That works. I'll see you then 

The expectation of hearing from you again is dashed when twenty four hours pass with nothing new. Martin's phone is far from quiet thanks to the Arsenal group chat, which thankfully keeps him busy and occupied on his day off whilst Atla is at school. Martin even arranges to pick Atla up himself, though he's disappointed to find another teacher in charge of after school care instead of you. 

Tomorrow, he tells himself. Tomorrow is my second chance. 

And Martin is completely, utterly, wholly determined to grab the opportunity with both hands and run with it. He refuses to squander his relationship with you a second time. He will say all the right things, fall over himself to make all the right promises, and follow through with each one of them. Because if Martin is being honest with himself, the last time he felt about someone like this… He married them. 

On his way into Colney the next morning, Martin passes by Atla’s favorite bookshop. It is a quaint, family owned place located on a busy corner in north London. He glances at their window displays when he is stopped at the light, as he often does. 

And Martin does a double take- the sign in the window promotes a new romance book, titled ‘Second Chances Only Come Once’, written by the author of the hit book ‘She’s the One’. 

The grin plastered on Martin’s face is indicative enough. If he had been waiting for a sign, that would be it. The sky over London is a bright, vibrant orange, streaked through with rich reds and subtle yellows. The sunrise is the exact shade of Maria’s favorite paint- Windsor Orange, a color she claimed felt like home. Each Christmas Martin would buy her a year’s supply to ensure she didn’t run out. 

“Thank you,” Martin murmurs to the sky. A light breeze ruffles his hair through the open car window, and the smile does not leave Martin’s face for the entire drive.

Kieran doesn't ask questions at training that morning- he's simply excited to spend some quality time with his goddaughter. Kieran does not question Martin’s good mood, not even when Martin convinces Arteta to go easy on the team and skip the half dozen extra drills he had scheduled and opt for an extra gym session instead. 

Martin pays very little attention whilst Kieran rattles off a long list of things he's planned to entertain Atla, including a trip to Harrods to spoil her rotten. Normally that sort of thing would irk Martin, but today the thought barely registers. 

“Uh huh, sounds great,” Martin murmurs noncommittally, “Perfect. Atla will love it.” 

“Mate, you've not heard a word I've said. You're fine with me taking her on a shopping spree? You normally yell at me for that! What happened to ‘she's got enough toys,’ eh?” Kieran makes air quotes there, referring to the dozens of times Martin has argued that point. That, at least, causes Martin to pause. 

“What? Oh- I mean sure if that's what you want to do with her I won't stop you, she'll enjoy it. Really she will-”

Kieran sets his weight down and rests his elbows on his knees. Everyone always says that blue eyes are unnerving, but Martin knows the truth- it's the unflinching, hard brown eyes that really do you in. Martin clears his throat, squirming under the pressure of Kieran's stare. “Tell me.” 

“Tell you what? There's nothing to tell.” Martin scarcely believes himself as unconvincing as his words are. Kieran simply blinks, which somehow is even more unnerving than the original stare. Martin sighs, knowing his friend will not let up until he uncovers the truth. “Alright fine- I'm talking to solskin tonight. It's not a big deal!” 

Kieran, knowing better than to pry, simply nods firmly. “Good. Maybe you'll quit moping around the grounds then. Honestly it's getting tiring, carrying this entire team on my shoulders. I cannae do it all on my own, you know.”

Martin cracks a grin, “I know mate. Hopefully after tomorrow I can take some of that pressure off you.” 

*********

Martin, Martin, Martin. For nearly forty eight full hours, the Norwegian midfielder fills every corner of your brain. You're barely able to make it through your lessons, as distracted as you are by the thought of seeing him again. In a private setting. Alone. At your house. 

Why did you agree to this again?

Friday evening, you frantically clean your already clean flat. You agonize over whether or not to leave the blanket slung over the sofa- is it too suggestive? Or is it just cosy? You wind up leaving it. You are fully aware that you are overthinking. That doesn’t stop you from rearranging the shoes in the entry three times until you’re positive they are just the right amount of messy. 

Deciding on an outfit is nearly as chaotic- with Jen's help you settle on comfort over chic, opting for your favorite pair of jeans and a loose, warm sweater. Your hair you leave in your usual style, not putting too much effort in. This is not a date, as you have to continually remind yourself. It is simply a chat, nothing more. 

Waiting is the hardest part. You sit on your sofa with a random show on for background noise, something about the history of the crown jewels. Should you have cooked? Six thirty is dinner time, ish- maybe he's expecting a meal? Oh god-

The doorbell interrupts your thoughts and you spring into action. You wipe your palms on your jeans before opening the front door, pasting a smile on your face that you pray appears genuine. Your eyes start at his feet- black and white Nike dunks, light wash jeans, and a black bomber style jacket- and end on his soft, angelic face. You quickly meet his eyes, lasting all of one second under the gentle scrutiny of his baby blues before heat floods your cheeks and you are forced to look away.

“Hey- hi Mr. Ødegaard, please come in.” 

Martin's hands slide into his pockets, thumbs hooked into his belt loops. “I'm not coming in until you drop the formality, solskin.” 

You swear your very soul responds to the nickname. It glides so easily off his tongue, as though no time has passed despite the cold shoulder you have given him. With one sentence, Martin crosses the chasm between the pair of you without a second thought, throwing you a lifeline to cling to whilst you try to wade through the sea of emotions that threatens to overwhelm your good sense. 

“Okay,” you murmur, “Okay. Please come in, Martin.” 

“Mar,” he corrects softly, tipping his head to meet your downcast eyes. “Please call me Mar.”

Only when you nod in agreement does he finally relent and enter. He bends to untie his shoes and hangs his jacket on the hook behind the door. There is a familiarity in his actions, like he has done this a hundred times instead of being able to count the number of occurrences on one hand. 

“Um, please have a seat,” you say around the bile creeping up your throat. You haven't been this nervous since your first day teaching. It feels as if one wrong move will leech away the confidence you've spent ages rebuilding; brick by brick you've had to remind yourself that you deserve this. One step at a time. 

“Thank you.” Martin makes himself comfortable on the sofa, one arm slung over the back. It strikes you then how well he fits in. Despite his undoubtedly expensive clothes, he does not seem out of place in a room filled with mostly second hand things. The cream of his shirt perfectly matches the blanket you worried over earlier. If you didn't know any better, you'd assume they were cut from the same cloth. 

You clear your throat and carefully perch on the opposite side. You smooth the wrinkles from your sweater, suddenly self conscious of your appearance. Shit, you forgot to offer him a drink! 

“Would you uh- would you like a drink? There's water, soda, uh… milk I think?” 

Martin's smile is like a physical caress, calming your nerves. Whether he realizes it or not is uncertain, “I'm alright for now, thank you solskin. You wanted to talk?”

How is he so calm right now? How are you not calm? You're the one that asked for this. You prepared, didn't you? Spent hours on the phone with Jess last night, coming up with bullet points of what needed to be said. How have you suddenly forgotten it all?

“Solskin,” Martin prompts softly. “Hey? I'm perfectly okay sitting in silence but if you have something to say, I want to make sure you're heard.”

“Stop- just stop being so charming for two minutes,” you mumble. You press two fingers to your temples and try to get your ducks in a row. You requested to speak with Martin, yes. You wanted to discuss the potential of moving forward. You wanted to tell him you still care about him. Okay. Okay. Basics first. 

You take a deep breath and straighten your spine. Cheating your body towards Martin's you begin, “I still care about you a lot. More than I should considering you're the parent of one of my students- don't do that,” you scold when Martin tips his head side to side. Martin grins, forcing you to fight to keep your mental train on the right track. “As I was saying, you're the parent to one of my students and I shouldn't even have asked to speak with you. I should've taken what happened as a sign from the universe, an easy way out but I just…”

“Can't let it end, yeah.” Martin finishes the thought on your behalf. You nod, grateful that he was able to voice it when you couldn't. 

“Right. But I also know that your daughter has to come first, and I don't want to suggest otherwise. Atla loves you and you're all she has, I know she looks up to her papa. I know she doesn't want to see you with anyone other than her mum, and maybe she's just too young to understand, which means this was all just a waste of time and ishouldn'thaveinvitedyouanyway-”

Your words rush out in one long heap, piling over each other and overlapping at the ends. Tears prick your eyes and suddenly you feel so incredibly stupid for thinking this could work in any capacity. Martin reaches for your hand but you pull it away, unable to bear the thought of him touching you, knowing you'll only crumble. 

“I want this to work Mar, I really do. But I can't ask you to choose between me and your family, it's not right. I don't want to sneak around either,” you add in haste when Martin opens his mouth. “I won't be the reason your daughter hates you. I won't tear apart your home. I just won't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.”

Once he's positive you're finished, Martin cautiously scoots closer to you. He watches for any sign that you'll flee, and when you don't move a muscle he wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you to his chest. This time you allow it, because you know you'll never have this luxury again. 

Martin's hand runs over your arm whilst he silently soothes you. Your nose is buried in his shoulder, his cologne imprinting itself in your memory. It baffles you how such a simple thing can bring you so much comfort. But slowly, like molasses dripping from a spile, you feel the coils of tension stored in your muscles unknot themselves. Slowly, you feel yourself winding down, your breath coming in even intervals instead of panicked gasps. Your hands, which had fisted themselves tight in the cotton of his shirt, unfurl to rest flat on his chest. 

“That speech was quite noble solskin, but I think you've forgotten something.”

You sniffle, determined not to cry despite the battle raging within yourself. “What did I forget Mar?” 

“That you're part of my home now,” Martin says into your hair. “If you're determined not to let anything ruin my home, you need to include yourself in that.” 

Martin is terrible at articulating how he feels. You've grown used to it; you may not have dated for long but it only took a handful of dates to realize that his trauma ran deep, and that he played his cards close to his chest. So that display of warmth, of what he truly feels inside, is rarer than a diamond. You want to nestle it against your heart and keep it protected behind your ribcage. It is worth more than any precious gem. 

Without thinking, you reach up and cradle Martin's jaw. You smile sadly when he presses his cheek into your hand, your thumb soothing a line under his eye. He's so beautiful- tender and raw and open. Vulnerable. A side you never expected him to share with you. 

“I don't want you to put me before Atla,” you say softly, mindful of how fragile he is beneath your fingertips. You have to be gentle; if you're not he may never trust anyone again. 

Martin covers your hand, fingers tight around yours. “And I don't want that either. I want you both on the same level. I-” Martin stops himself, his throat bobbing under the weight of words left unsaid. “I care about you so, so much. I just want you in my life. That’s all I want.”

“Then Alta needs to understand that I'm not replacing her mum. She needs to understand that before we even think about doing anything, Mar. You can't risk hurting the relationship you have with your daughter.”

“I know. I will. I'll get it all sorted and then it'll be fine- we can try again. Right?”

You nod then, your smile brighter this time. “Once she knows all that, we can try again.”

Martin's eyes flick to your mouth and you know you've both had the same thought. You want to kiss him, to climb into his lap and melt like chocolate on his tongue. You want to pull at his stupid chicken hair until he moans into your mouth, his sounds of delight so sickeningly sweet that your stomach will ache for days afterwards. 

But you can't kiss him. So you don't. At least you have that much control. Instead you let Martin trace your parted lips with a reverence that makes your skin tingle. He moves on to your jaw, your cheeks, your nose, your brow- as if he were a blind man putting a face to a woman who until now has been no more than a voice to him. 

“I have so much to say,” Martin says finally, “and there's not enough time to say any of it.” 

“One day soon, you'll have plenty of time to tell me anything you want.” You allow yourself the luxury of his embrace, your arms winding around his solid middle whilst his fit firmly around your shoulders. 

If you're lucky, this could be your reality. You could come home to Martin, or rather he could come home to you, and have his busy days be endcapped by love and devotion. You've always said you would never consider being a housewife, that you respect yourself far too much to allow yourself to be reduced to a servant to your significant other. But for Martin? You want him to eat a home cooked meal every night. You want to massage his shoulders when he makes an off-hand comment about being sore from training too hard. You want to put Atla to bed and then draw a warm bath for you and Martin to share. 

You want to give Martin the world because he deserves it. You would wait on him hand and foot because you know with absolute certainty that he would do the exact same thing whenever he was afforded the chance. And that sort of fairytale is exactly what you've always wanted in life. You aren't about to let it slip through your fingers. 

#martin ødegaard #martin odegaard #martin odegaard fanfiction #martin odegaard imagine #martin odegaard fanfic #martin odegaard fantasy #martin odegaard fic #arsenal fc #jac writes #alt timeline lover

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Buddie Endgame!

Before 7x5 aired, I decided to take a break from 911blr and Buddieblr since the BTS pics and the "supposed leaks" for 7x5 showed they were about to do another wash, rinse and repeat with both Buck and Eddie. Their storylines have been seen before and at this point, they've become predictable. Anyway, I'm glad I took several days off because I figured most of the people who watched it would see Buck on a date with T*mmy and it would prompt them to start "Jumping ship" (Eddie’s words from 7x4) even though the whole situation was rushed and there's no substance there. If people did jump ship, they have every right to do so but just in case they're new here and they haven't watched all of Buck's train wreck relationships starting in season 1, the facts are Buck is making the same mistakes he's made in the past even though in 6x1, he said he didn't want to do that anymore.

Here's the thing... I'm not trying to convince anyone about who they should and shouldn't ship because everyone has their own preferences. However, I do think it's interesting how some are choosing to forget or just don't want to acknowledge/admit the fact that T*mmy did the same thing to Buck that both Taylor and Natalia did but it didn't take him multiple episodes to do it either.

Here are the cycles...

WASH: He showed up to the loft UNANNOUNCED.

RINSE: He kissed him.

REPEAT: And then he left him standing there dazed just like they did.

BONUS SPIN CYCLE: He told Buck to "Take care of yourself" (he just said it before he showed up unannounced and he said it while they were at Air Rescue when he was trying to date Eddie 👀).

Therefore, it appears the only difference between T*mmy and Taylor and Natalia is, T*mmy's a man which seems to be the only reason why some are willing to look past his bad character traits (discussed here) based solely on that fact. He's just like Buck's previous relationships where it starts off with Buck being kissed like he's in some kind of fairy tale or some BS and then it follows the same pattern as before (as indicated above).

I'm not going to go into the Buck and T*mmy of it all or lack thereof any further because this post is about Buddie and only Buddie!

I've witnessed the REAL LOVE Buck and Eddie share and it's the reason why I have and always will ONLY ship them with each other. They've built a family together and the fact is they know each other inside and out. They don't have to pretend and they know how to take care of the other one. They agreed to have each other's backs years ago and they've continued to do it. Chris views Buck as his second dad and he was doing it way before Eddie updated his will and named Buck to be Chris' legal guardian. Chris called Buck when Eddie was having a mental breakdown and it's obvious he could have called 9-1-1 but he didn't. Reminder, Buck and Eddie are both first responders so he could have called emergency services but he called his other dad, the man who told him months before Eddie was shot that he's not going anywhere 👀.

Buck has cried, screamed and clawed at the ground while trying to dig through 50 feet of wet earth to get to Eddie. He's also crawled underneath a ladder truck (one of the things that tried to take his leg) to save Eddie after Eddie was shot by a sniper in front of him. Eddie’s blood splattered all over Buck’s face and he was in a CATATONIC state of shock until Capitan Mehta tackled him to the ground.

Eddie was the one bleeding out but he was conscious enough to ask Buck "Are you hurt?" before he went unconscious for the last time from the pain of being shot with a large caliber bullet. Eddie climbed up a 70 foot ladder while it was extended in the air without being harnessed in to get to Buck after he was STRUCK BY THE SAME BOLT OF LIGHTNING AND WAS CATAPULTED OFF THE BASE OF THE LADDER to get to him. He was the one who restarted Buck’s heart after Chimney had been doing chest compressions on him for 3 minutes. Trust, that last 17 seconds was ALL EDDIE DIAZ! Eddie took Buck to play poker to help him keep his mind off the fact that he died so he could relax and have a good time.

THAT'S LOVE!

Buck’s own definition of love describes EDDIE DIAZ and only Eddie Diaz! Therefore, it's ridiculous that people are literally trying to dismiss Eddie’s love for Buck just because some dude with a sorted past (with Buck’s found family. Hello Taylor Kelly anyone?) put his lips on Buck and kissed him the same way all the women Buck’s been with did.

Buck and Eddie are IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER and they're each other's ENDGAME!

The point of this post is people can ship whoever they want but I HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL SHIP BUDDIE because they share a once in a lifetime, love of their lives, soulmate type of love that transcends space and time.

I'LL NEVER SETTLE FOR A KNOCKOFF VERSION OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. WHY? BECAUSE FOR ME ANY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS they've had or will have with others resembles a cheap piece of costume jewelry that looks ok from far away until you get up close and realize it's a cheap imitation of the real thing.

Why would I settle for Buck to end up with a KNOCKOFF version of Eddie?

I won't!

And why would I settle for Eddie to end up with some babysitter who's more in love with her brother when Buck’s already been shown to be another one of Chris' parents?

I won't!

Buck and Eddie DESERVE THE REAL EPIC LOVE STORY that 9-1-1 has been showing and telling the audience about them for the last 6 years and no other love interests have or ever will compare to what they mean to each other.

Ship whoever you want but I only ship BUDDIE and I always will.

#I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE! #BUCK AND EDDIE FOREVER! #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #anti eddiemarisol #anti marisol #911 #Ryan Guzman and Oliver Stark are the captains of this ship. #OTP BUDDIE #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks

[j0elmill3r]

“ stop it. enough of this self-sacrificing bullshit! stop acting like you have nobody who loves you! you have me! so no! you don’t get to be a martyr. not today! we can figure out a different plan… “

this is giving grown babygirl and joel post outbreak

You looked down at your injured father as he lay down on the sofa, clutching at his bloodied side which you had managed to bandage up. You were angry, and felt selfish for feeling so - He had grazed a bullet whilst saving a young boy. Joel knew that you were angry with him, he just didn't understand why you felt that way.

"Y/N, baby," He reached out for you, wincing when you swatted his hands away. You didn't understand why he was always so desperate to play the hero and try and save everyone when it meant he would get hurt himself - You were genuinely terrified that one of these days, you would be coming home alone. "Y/N please, just listen to me." Joel pleaded with you. You shook your head as you stood up, trying not to cry.

"No. Stop it," You spat. Joel looked at you in confusion, he had put your new attitude down to changes with your age, given that you had recently turned 14. "Enough with the self-sacrificing bullshit! Stop acting like you have nobody who loves you! you have me! so no! you don’t get to be a martyr. not today! we can figure out a different plan," You yelled, your eyes filling with tears as you pointed at your father. Joel sighed guiltily, unable to meet your disappointed and tear-filled eyes. "I can do patrols. I'm old enough now." You told him confidently. Joel, without considering his injury, sat bolt upright, shaking his head adamantly.

"No. Absolutely not, Y/N," Joel told you firmly. You scoffed and shook your head at your father. "It's too dangerous out there." He said.

"Right, and you're in such a fit state to get back out there? Don't be so fucking ridiculous dad," You told him.

"Hey, watch your language," Joe scolded you. "You don't talk to me that way, understood?" He watched as you reluctantly nodded your head.

"I-I can't lose you, dad," You stuttered out, rubbing your eyes of tears. "You're all I have." You cried, letting your dad pull you into his embrace. Joel realized that he had to accept that no matter how independent you liked to claim that you were, that you were ultimately still a child, forced to grow up in a cruel world and made to grow up way quicker than you should have.

Taglist - Want to join? Fill out this form! (Strikethrough Indicates your blog could not be tagged)

[@mrvlxgrl][@white-wolf-buckaroo][@change-the-world-someday]{@mand1ora][@sleepylunarwolf][@kobiiblog][@itwasnight]

#joel tlou #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller hbo #joel miller x daughter!reader #x daughter reader #x daughter #x daughter!reader

[fairycosmos]

hey sorry if this is invasive but how do you know you have depression? things have been harder to cope with for the past month but i am incredibly ashamed of asking for help or even saying out loud because i feel dramatic, attention seeking etc. even realising how much it is affecting my life. do i really need to get it out to get better?

ive had it since i was a kid and my doctor has been aware of it since i was like 11 so it was just smth i grew up with - when im in a particularly bad episode i can tell because im extremely lethargic, unmotivated, don't look after myself, am prone to severe hopelessness and a sense of impending doom following me everywhere + self destruction, i drink more, i get paranoid, i dissociate and feel disconnected from the world around me and from my own body, im numb/sad most of the time, i have panic attacks and cant get out of bed even for things i would usually want to do, im very disorganised and have a flat affect/tone of voice, i don't interact with people much....honestly the list goes on LOL.

it's important to understand that depression manifests uniquely for everybody and if youve noticed a difference in your own behaviour/thinking patterns that is actively and consistently impacting your life negatively - then that is enough of an indicator that something is going on. it doesn't need to be any worse. if it's already difficult, then it's already difficult, and you deserve support with it. to some extent it's some normal to feel ashamed/afraid of reaching out - we're raised in a world that stigmatises mental illness and we've received that messaging for a long time. which makes it feel like the truth, but doesn't mean that it is actually true. i think the bottom line is that you need to treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend going through something like this. you wouldn't want them to cut themselves off from asking for help because they've bullied themselves into silence over what people might or might not think of them. if we want to live in a world that truly supports people with mental health issues in an effective way, then we need to hold ourselves to that same standard. i know it's incredibly overwhelming, and im not saying it's wrong to be anxious or scared about reaching out. i just think actively trying to frame it from a more objective mindset could help you accept what is happening and what the right next step is for you. if you have the opportunity to talk to someone - a hotline, your doctor, a local support group or therapist, even a friend/family member to begin with - i really encourage it. even write down what you want to say or bullet point what's been going on so you don't feel like you're being put on the spot. im sure you're imagining all sorts of reactions, but in my experience, professionals are very accepting of what you're going through and just want to work with you to see how you can process and cope with your current mindset more healthily. whether it's medication, talking therapies, showing you new coping skills - there's a lot that can be done for someone in your shoes. you're not stuck and they're not going to judge you. even if, in some alternate reality, you just wanted some attention - that's not a crime. i think it's natural to want someone to witness and acknowledge us when we're hurting anyway. sorry to ramble - there are a lot of depression self help and coping pdfs that are free and available to download online which offer a bit of support. maybe that could be a good stepping stone if you're feeling super uncomfortable with the idea of talking to someone. we all work on our own timeline and thats honestly ok. but if you're looking for truly personalised and effective help then i think working towards talking to someone is your best option. it's okay to not be happy about that and still do it, like swallowing a medicine that tastes gross. otherwise the thoughts just rot inside you and you get lost in a spiral of depressive thinking patterns and it weighs you down having to manage it all alone inside your head. you become at risk of losing all objectivity and sense of self, which happens to me often and is fucking horrible. if it's possible, i really hope you eventually bring this up to a loved one or a professional. im really sorry you're going through this and i truly hope better days are ahead. sending a lot of love. X

#anon

[chosaya]

#GOOD GIRL GONE BAD. ♡ thee collab

.𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁 ♡.

author notes: I appreciate all of the love and support for my moots and new followers as well. Thank you to all those who reblogged them, commented on them and so on. ♡ I thank you all again for loving my content as much as I do. Thanks on 500 again!!

RULES

♡ ..You DO NOT have to follow me for this collab. I want this to be a way for new writers, old writers.

♡ ..This has limited spaces ( So, there's no possibility of multiple entries for the same song)

♡ You must be +18 to enter. Have your age indicated somewhere in your navigation or somewhere on your blog.

♡ Please tag your work accordingly.

INFO FOR PARTICIPANTS

♡ .. when sending in your entry make sure to add, your character, song you're doing, type of piece (i.e, fic, hc.), please don't send it on anonymously.(entry can be sent through inbox or dm)

♡ .. if your piece is dark, dark theme please tag that.

♡.. I know alot of people are in school/or working, so the deadline will not be soon, so this gives you plenty of time to make it before the deadline, the next bullet point!

♡ .. the date with start when this is posted, the end date will be April 15, 2023.

♡ .. When your fic is finished just use the tag #GOOD GIRL GONE BAD. thee collab, so that I can update my master list for this event.

♡ .... the important part is that your piece has to connect to the song you picked in some way, weather that it be quoting the song in between the lines or using words from the chorus or song, it has to connect in any way possible.

♡ .. All characters must be 18+ .

♡ have any questions, comments, or concerns just shoot me in the inbox or messages.

♡ .. there's no deadline to join since there's limited spaces, I hope this collab interests some writers, I'd really love to support the new writers and old writers with this event.

SONG MASTERLIST

♡ | Anti (Album) 2016

Work (ft Drake).....

Consideration .....

Love on the Brain... @privateparty3

Kiss it better....

Needed Me... @violxtbxbyy

Woo.. @sirenspider (tw: this fic contains dark content and nsfw)

Sex with me.... @breyspage w/ connie

Close to you...

Never ending...

♡ | Good girl gone bad (2007)

Umbrella...

Say it...

Rehab.. @shinsouscatpisssmell

Hate that I love you...

♡ | Rated R ( 2009)

Photographs...

Rude boy (explicit)....

Stupid in love....

Fire bomb.....

♡ | Others.

Wild thoughts....(ft dj kaled)

Diamond.....

Only girl in the world.....

Where have you been.....

We found love....

SOS... @viictorry w/geto

This is what you came for......

Stay....

S&M.......

Unfaithful.....

Take care..... @thehanging-gardens w/shuhei (nsfw)

Tags:

@yokiashe @sirenspider @kenmuhh @violxtbxbyy @beniswife @beelz3burger @hinata7346 @luvs-wrld @Shima707 @shinichirosproperty @gardenof-venus @sunaispretty

@mooniezarie @savagenctzen @babykaz @gobblethiskitty @erenslvt @getwaves @witchbybirth @meloswifeysstuff @urlovemaze @aiyaaayei @blessings-phiri @paraohAnubis0

@ushijimasslut @breyspage @undertensed @Ichigosleftnut @erensonly @pixiigirl @solarpunkscholar

@tomuraist @6sakusa @shinsouscatpisssmell @bluecatton @conniesbbymama @hoohoohope @vonhoe-blog @voidshoutsback @sheluvzeren @bijuu-naginata @blakbleh @angelsdilf @kokonoiscoconut @jen200 @justtoblivious2u @euphoricfics @b3ast1706 @myluhvr

@iheartyoons @sushiimara @roronoazorosbxtchh @virgonessatbest @erensluut

#♡ GOOD GIRL GONE BAD COLLAB EVENT. #˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒 🧝🏾‍♀️

[tellmeayarn]

so, I have started actively taking on puzzles about social interaction, basically like New Years resolutions for autistic weirdos. These are the sort of questions that, when I ask someone, they answer the wrong question. The project actually has given me a lot of insight into why I feel like I need to be so precise with my language LOL

Anyway, I don't ever expect these to wrap up tidily in a year, but I do like to think about them in January and consider new ones to add.

Reporting back on 2023

My question: Why do people like to refer to each other by name, when it isn't necessary for clarity?

The answer to a different question: People like hearing their names, so you should say them to make people feel seen and respected.

Breakdown: The question that response answers is "Why should I use people's names when speaking to them?" I actually believe the answer. I've seen it hundreds of times and it seems solid for the majority of people. However, my question is digging deeper than a best practice scenario and asking why people feel good when they hear their name. Because I don't feel respected and recognized when someone uses my name. I feel a whole range of ways based on situation. So I need to understand WHY people like it, before I can use it well.

I'm still not settled enough in this question to drop it, but I definitely gained a greater understanding of it. Here are some insights:

My big breakthrough -- I realized that people use names to indicate belonging to a group. The custodian at the museums near my work was greeting everyone by name as we arrived one day, and as an outsider, I instead received a warm "hey, good morning!" This info is EXTREMELY VALUABLE to me, due to an element of the following point.

I have definitely learned that one of the reasons I am so averse to using names like this is because my experience when someone uses the WRONG name for me seems to line up with the typical. It's awful to be misnamed. I have an email chain where people keep calling me Kathy rn, and it just makes the whole process worse. And if my coworkers call me theoretically the right name, Therin, near a patron, that is equally bad. So why risk using the wrong name for someone when you can just warmly say "hi, how are you?" or ask a follow up question from a previous discussion like "how's your cat doing?" Is the supposed benefit great enough to outweigh it?

I've realized that my situational feelings on hearing my name pretty much run the gamut. If I have a crush on someone, it's really really good when they use my name. If someone I just met at work uses my name because they read it on my name tag, I basically want to murder them. These extreme highs and lows here really highlight the risk level and why I am so insistent on getting the data I need.

However, tying #1 and #2 together, I think it's very possible I could improve my relationships with some coworkers by greeting them using their names. I definitely know their names, so it's low risk, and they may appreciate it?

Puzzle for 2024

My question: How do you make real friends as an adult?

The answer to a different question: Revolves around how to meet new people. Strangely... I actually have absolutely no problem making casual acquaintances and, like, activity-buddies.

I'm talking FRIENDS-friends, like, how do you really get to know someone, platonically, without having a 1:00 AM drunken philosophical discussion in a plastic lawn chair? Like, I'm 35? I have chronic fatigue and a hangover can ruin me for a week? And people need to drive home? So how do you get to the important shit and the weird shit moderately and at a reasonable hour? Do you just... not? Do you have to wait for a tragedy to strike? Do you have to just bite the bullet and take off the mask?

#actually autistic #resolutions #therins big questions

[mxnxdrama]

Behind the Mask: Self

See, this idea has been sitting on my head for a while, in which the Monodrama trailer also had Jungian Psychology undertones in it. More under the cut.

If memory serves right, the whole thing about the Jungian Psychology is 'the importance of individual psyche and personal quest for wholeness, focusing on concepts like the collective unconscious, archetypes, psychological complexes, and the process of individuation.'

That within every human being lies the potential for peak development, for perfection. That perfection can only be obtained by confronting one's "Shadow".

The Shadow being another term for one's unconscious mind. Within this Shadow lies all the aspects of one's potential that have yet to be integrated into conscious. Either it be hidden talents, or negative traits you don't know how to deal with.

Once all of these unconscious contents are brought into consciousness, then one would have achieved a state called the "Self", one's fully realized potential, one's own perfect self.

Only if one were to be able to unionize one's conscious side, to one's unconscious side.

There are two prominent Sparkles that took up the majority of the Monodrama trailer. Red Mask Sparkle and White Mask Sparkle.

Thus, we can deduce that White Mask Sparkle as Sparkle's conscious mind. The outward one that everyone sees, and what she want others to see.

Meanwhile, Red Mask Sparkle is Sparkle's unconscious, where everything hidden about her lies, be it hidden talent, her negative traits that she doesn't want others to see, and other things she used to have kept buried in her psyche.

Sure, you can also take the Monodrama trailer as a reading of Aha's influence having come to fruition, thus finally making Sparkle get what it truly means to be Elation, at least in her point of view. But that doesn't eliminate the Jungian Psychology from it. In fact, it also supports it.

Through Aha's influence, Sparkle was able to confront her Shadow. The one thing holding her back still. Her acceptance to the Russian Roulette of 5 blanks, one live bullet is an indication of her accepting that confrontation. However, the trailer also suggests that the Shadow 'won', instead of Sparkle winning and thus achieving personal enlightenment.

What that suggests is that merging with the Shadow basically meant that Sparkle's Id now began its process of overwriting or controlling her Ego, and thus becoming her new 'Self'.

Though there can also be an alternate reading to it.

However, the mask Sparkle has now is a split between the white and red masks. Why is that? Shouldn't it be all red then if her Shadow did succeed in overwriting her inhibitions with it, especially with how she acts in the game?

Hence, I also have come to believe that the Monodrama trailer also was meant to mislead. To think that the Shadow won. But in the midst of the psychedelic, psychological madness, perhaps both Sparkle's conscious and unconscious formed a proper middle ground, thus made way to the proper integration of her positives and negatives. That integration was enough of a push needed for Sparkle to 'unionize' her consciousness with her unconsciousness. By accepting all her positives, and all her negatives, and thus became her own personalized 'perfection'.

The realization Aha had given her that life is just but a grand stage everyone is part of as actors, as well as her personal, internal enlightenment is what pushed Sparkle into being who she is today, positives and negatives be damned.

That amidst the swirling sea of chaos in her mind, she has the intuition to see things clearly. See things the way others could normally not.

Thus, a person in tune with their complete individuality, both the good and the bad, is a truly capable and dangerous and brilliant individual.

And Sparkle is very much in tune and in sync with her own sense of 'Self'.

#;an open ended interpretation | headcanon #finally got that out of my chest holy shit

[itchyeye]

Okay, on the discussion of characters, I was LITERALLY thinking earlier today of how Sasha is one of my favorite characters in TMA. (Sorry I went on a tangent but hear me out-)

Sasha. A character who we BARELY hear from in the one season she's alive in, has had such a MASSIVE impact on the entire fandom that to this DAY people still make AU's where she lives, of her relationship to multiple other characters, to what could have been or WHO she was based on a few one liners, a statement, and her final moments. After that it's the impact she had on other characters that helped us see her for who she was. We were fed some information on her (Ex. Jon thinking SASHA would have pranked him with a statement and not Tim, Gertrude wanting to make Sasha the next Archivist because she knew she would've been smart enough to see what was happening, Sasha choosing to follow Micheal who was clearly a Not Human Thing,-), but we weren't spoon fed information on who she was if that makes sense? We, through context clues and just idk, good writing on Jonny's part, were able to put together this character in our minds of who Sasha was in and out of the office and her relationship with the other characters, even though she only existed for BARELY ONE SEASON.

Cut to TMAGP, and, like you said, we're being force fed these characters and archetypes. LOOK THIS IS GWEN SHE'S SUPER SERIOUS , THIS IS ALICE SHE'S ~QUIRKY~ AND HAS A BROTHER SHE'S TAKING CARE OF (WHICH SIDE NOTE: WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW TIM HAD A BROTHER UNTIL LATER and it's revealed to us in such a great, tragic way and shows some things about his character we hadn't noticed before, or let us explore ideas about him!) THIS IS LENA SHE'S DARK AND MYSTERIOUS MAY BE A BAD GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT'S HAPPENING OOOOH SPOOKY- And I feel nothing towards any of them. I think it's funny that so far a lot of people who don't like the series all admit that we like Gwen the most because she's the most down to earth and idk, realistically written character? But it just makes me so... Idk, it makes me laugh angrily that this new show that is so focused on these new characters so far doesn't have me liking any of them (Gwen's on thin ice-). They're being shoved in our faces way too quickly and are just thrown their entire wikipedia articles to listen to.

Like, that one comment about how Sam and Alice are exes makes me think of how when Melanie mentioned to Jon that Georgie knew him, he didn't go "OH YES MY EX GIRLFRIEND GEORGIE." He was just like, "Oh! You know Georgie huh? Hm..." and it's later we find out they dated.

SORRY THIS IS SO MUCH I JUST AHSIDOAHS dude. Like. I only like Colin and sort of Gwen and that's it. Everyone else is so annoying, and seeing that the show is BARELY focused on the statements, it's a SLOG to get through.

So sorry for such a long message ; -Z

i will say as politely as i can that the amount of attention this fandom gives a particular character is not generally indicative of their story impact BUT i fo agree that i really like the part sasha plays in the story and the way her death + replacement send huge ripples of drastic effect across all characters

and i 100% agree with the rest of this. even gwen is wearing on me because when a character is just. rude? and the only thing you know about them is that they are someone's coworker? why would i like them? why would i be sympathetic to them? i've started plenty of jobs where people are huge assholes for now reason other than already being super burnt out on the position. but it's awful to take that out on a brand new employee? so gwen is on thin ice for me as well.

but yeah i think you've contrasted very wel the way tma created its characters vs the like bullet point lists of Traits™️that tmp characters have instead

#[💌] asks and replies #protocol #anonymous

[chekov-in-a-dress]

Would love to hear more of your thoughts about the Iso and Sova relationship ask. Doesn’t matter what ship if any.

Okay so for some reason tumblr refused to notify me of this message but HEY that's fine bc now we have more info on Iso and while I haven't looked into him directly, I have run into him in game and of course there's the new cinematic (plus the little short with Iso, Omen and Cypher) which FED ME SO WELL

So let's look at this again, shall we.

I can definitely see Sova as initially very hostile towards Iso because we know that Sova is very protective of the other members of the protocol and having someone straight up hunting a member of his team would definitely trigger his protective instincts.

We also know that Sova hates both secrets and being left out of things so if Cypher (and/or Omen) didn't involve him from the start so upon finding out about the whole situation, he would've likely been very unhappy about that lmao.

So in my head it went something like: Cypher finds out about Iso being tasked to kill Omen (I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say that Cypher is well aware of the organisation Iso works for already and that is probably how it popped up on his radar), Cypher informs Brimstone about it, who consults Sova and Viper, probably Sage as well.

Now I don't know if that was explained somewhere but I have no clue how Cypher managed to convince Iso to not try and kill Omen but instead turn against his employer and join Valorant.

Based on the short cinermatic we got it could be that Cypher told Iso Omen isn't like whatever monstrous threat he was made out to be and Iso confirmed that by watching Omen tend to his bonsai trees??? Which doesn't make that much sense to me tbh like bad people can have cute hobbies too? :'D

I think it's more likely that Cypher had some dirt on Iso's employer and managed to convince Iso that their objectives are far more malicious than Valorant's.

Which would indicate that Iso has a somewhat decent moral compass for a hitman lmao. In that regard he might get along with Sova, considering Sova himself is willing to kill if ordered to / if it's what he deems necessary.

Anyway whatever the reason behind Iso switching sides, I feel like Sova is not the kind of person to just go 'alright ur one of us now' and just drop his suspicions. I do think he's still very, very wary of Iso and definitely keeps a close eye on him whenever possible.

But since Sova cares a great deal about Omen - with or without shipping the two - he doesn't hesitate to use whatever intel Iso has to help Omen in his hunt for the past he doesn't remember. Which is where the cinematic comes in.

So I do think at that point Iso and Sova are working together well enough but Sova definitely doesn't trust him. Though judging from Sova's character he's willing to give Iso a chance to prove himself and earn his trust. ♥

And since we all know that I'm a slut for shipping Sova with anyone as long as they top him I can totally see Iso and Sova as a slow-burn distrust to lovers couple. Make Iso take a bullet for him on a mission with Sova dragging him to safety and tending to his wound while waiting for backup.

Also Iso just watching Sova, standing in the range or at the edge of the practice arena / danger room, earplugs ever present and Sova can just FEEL the intensity of his eyes on him. Maybe at first he's suspicious, thinking that Iso is sizing him up, trying to find his weaknesses - a very Cypher thing to do lmao - and he tells him in a very brusque fashion to leave because Sova prefers practicing on his own.

But after their disastrous mission and once Iso has recovered from his gunshot wound, Sova runs into him at the range. Iso has just finished his practice 'don't worry I'm about to leave' and Sova responds with 'you can stay to watch if you like'. BAM relationship development.

#sova #iso #valorant #god i love you for sending me questions like this

[bauhausdog]

i feel weirdly energetic for some reason, (◕‿◕) so im gonna talk about something in my mind a bit.

basically, i think that "learn the rules before you break then" and both "shape language is real, triangle can indicate danger" and "shape language isn't real, look at all these square characters, they have nothing in common" are kinda flawed and highlights what i think its a deeper problem on how we tackle art theory as a whole. Also, i think appeal is subjective and that, actually ugly or "unappealing" things have value.

skip to the star emoji if you just want to read my main point

I don't like how the drawing fundamentals are treated as a single canon, i personally don't believe in a single canon on, uh... pretty much anything, perception, even though there's quite a lot of objective ideas in it (like how lenses work, ambient occlusion, anatomy, etc.), that doesn't mean the way we make those connections and create theories based on them is objective and silver bullet proof. To make my point a bit clearer, I'm specifically talking when people refer to the "fundamentals" as the rules, to further sharpen my point of view, i rarely, if ever, believe in rules in art. To exemplify of what i mean, let's immerse a bit in the world of... uh.. renaissance era, although it would be delightful to rant about centralizing "art" as "beauty and skill" and those as whatever western society at the time thought it was good, i am not and i dont want to make a comparison of bigoted "beauty" guidelines to "uhmmm, not so objective aesthetics" guidelines, but i do want to use a specific pattern of thought in it.

Ok, so, (at least the art we known) from that era looks kinda the same right, that's because they had a somewhat set of ideas and values of what made "something pretty", and "good art", that is, realism = good. Ok, then let's say you, fellow artist, wake up in bed, and decide to read a hypothetical "art rules" book and decide to compare it to the "good art", you see how you should structure the steps of a drawing, how you should apply anatomy, how you should render shit, and so on. "golly gee, that's a bunch load of rubbish if i ever seen one" You might say, but you take another look at your 1500 deviantart gallery book, all of the popular mainstream artworks seem to have followed these steps, right? But there's something missing,

Here's a question, how do you make something new then? art right now doesnt look like reinassaince that much anymore. You might say "oh break the rules", im gonna get to that part, put that in the back of your head. Ok, so, how do you create something new? how would you create artwork? if you were trained like those famous painters, you would probably just follow their steps and mindset, and create similar artwork, but can you break the pattern while upholding restrict art guidelines? imo you can't

"bauhausdog, what does this have to do with cannons?" shhhhhh... im gonna get to that part.

So, art history taught us that, in a nutshell, people just ducked around and finded out, breaking that rigid art canon piece by piece, although it's worth noting that a lot of it was also ideological, but i want to shine a spotlight on the art part of this phenomenon, "art should have realistic colors" lol no, fauvism, "art represents reality" lol no, surrealism, "art should be realistic" lol no, modernism, "art should not be realistic" lol no, naturalism.

people broke that weird rigid old canon, and people learned that they could make new things bc of this experimentation.

Alright, let's tie evertyhing together so far, in the modern day, we have taken a lot of lessons based on these art movements, we absorved a lot of stuff, we have knowledge of almost everything, our process of drawing, our way of arting, our 'artstlye', is super varied, there is a lot of elements at our disposal, we can be as realistic as we can, as cartoonish as we can, we live in the same timeline as tawog and everything everywhere all at once, shows that mix different methodologies, philoshopies of art in one motion picture.

excuse my "middle-upper class got out of art school trust fund guy" term here, but we do live in a hypermodern reality, this is super, super cheesy, but it is everything, all at once :PPP.

Now, let's wrap the previous question, how do you create new stuff? experimenting, literally thinking outside, inside, and about the box, that box being our conception of art, also, the way we conceptualize art is super importqant, i mean, its literally the way our little heads organize what is a art and how do you art a thing.

"bauhausdog, you said something 30 minutes ago about the back of the head", ok, so, to talk abut how we conceptualize art, let's talk about, well, the thing. Until now, my thesis isn't breaking any new ground, i'm not proposing a solution, or at the very least pinpointing a problem, well, i can kill the rest of the birds with just a single stone, a quote stone.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"learn the rules before you break them", it seems reasonable at first, let's break down the phrase, "learn the [rules](...)" what is this "rules"?, well, it's the general notion of art fundamentals, "(...) before you "break" them", what breaking means, exactly? well, if we take fauvism, fauvism was about subverting naturalistic rendering as the "correct pretty" standard, fauvism is basically messing with colors, duck around, find out. This distinction is important to make, in my interpretation, "breaking" is equal to that, experimenting outside a strict set of guidelines.

But wait, did you catch it? the weird connection with these two sentences, "learn this general set of rules, then you can experiment and get to your own conception of what art is", this sounds weirdly similar, where i've heard that before....

this is where it all comes together, follow me on this logic for a bit. Based on what I talked about the art movement argument, i said that previous experimentation (eg: modernism) lead to a better conception about art and its elements in general (eg: learning about abstraction and how to incorporate that on an artwork with modernism), the give-away here is that we build upon to a better and more comprehensive understandment. So, the contradiction to me is, if you need to learn and build upon a certain set of guidelines to then be able to do your own thing, there is something wrong with this set of rules.

To me it is just so weird that these rules just ignore that we live in a world of everything, why a "wrong" color palette is wrong? why airbrushed pillow shading is wrong?

and i'm not crucifying this one phrase, in my opinion, this is part of a wider acceptance of just this general "art guidelines" that you need to learn to improve.

What i am criticizing here is a generalized "art conceptualization canon" that fails to consider the subjectivity of aesthetics and caters to a mainstream type of art, and is tunnel visioned and doesn't teach art beyond the bite sized pieces of information.

I don't have a lot of examples to back this up, but what i do know is, there's no agreed upon, universal opinion on whats appealing or not, what works or what doesn't, what's true or what's not. The only example i will bring up is this. perfect perspective is bullshit, like, persperctive is the least broken rule here, perspective should not always be drawing straight lines converging trhough a point, honestly, freehand it, use your knowledge to distort it. "draw straight lines converging to a point" is a bit shallow

In my opinion, art should be taught in a more hollistic way even down to the little details, actually, i think it would be beneficial to teach a hollistic view in art as a whole, as in, the individual elements don't live in a vacuum. And also, there should be an emphasis on different aesthetic values (eg: naturalistic, western comic book, modernistic, eastern) and be mindful of the subjectfullness of aesthetics.

In conclusion, i think we should start refering to the general "fundamentals" as like, "post-modern western society's theory on illustration aesthetics" or in an actual serious manner something like "objective art theory". that's still a janked mess of a broken, but i would much prefer structuring things as like "perceptual color theory", "emotional color theory", "western color theory", instead of plain "color theory"

tldr: "art fundamentals" are a bit reductive, tunnel visioned and puts a single set of aesthetic values on a pedestal

also, a bit of a tangent, but i dont believe in a universal appeal at all, "dont shade with airbrush", "dont pillow shade" there's at least one human being that really, really likes the look of airbrush with a pillow shading look, just follow your art honestly, even if it is ugly, who cares, ugliness should be celebrated, not in the "not conventional" kind of way, i mean graffiti is beautiful, but i hated graffiti, acne looks pretty, but im still trying to unlearn to hate acne.

extra tangents: i think that color theory reflects certain aesthetic values and is not universal (dont have anything to prove but a suspicion), let people do random ugly shit for fun, "bad" art has value.

sorry if it doesnt sound coherent as much as i try to push my brain power my head feels foggy when i try to talk about something

I will add to this more later

#art #art theory

[kehlana-wolhamonao3]

I’m so interested in the way you’ve been developing Matthew’s PTSD and survivors guilt in The Heiress. It’s so multilayered and complex, so I was wondering if you have any insight about his PTSD in canon. While I do they think they did a good job of portraying it (and Dan Stevens was amazing in s2!), I still feel like it could’ve been explored more. What do you think?

(I wouldn’t mind reading a meta about it 🫣)

I love this ask so much!

First of all, any indications in canon that Matthew suffers from PTSD are very subtle and often thanks to Dan Stevens' amazing acting. But we do have some:

- the moment when Mary asks him what is it like at the front and he tells her that he can't talk about it. For a moment, the background music and conversation all go silent and we see how haunted he is by his memories - and the way his voice hitches is also very telling

- the way he looks on the way to the train station after that leave and how he speaks with Mary; it's clear that he doesn't expect to come back. It's right after the height of the Battle of Somme, I don't believe that he expects to survive the war at this point

- delated parts of his conversation with Davis when he gets the news of his assignment with General Strutt. He says he should be happy, but that he feels like a worried father leaving his men to a new officer. Davis says they will understand that he got his orders and Matthew answers "probably better than I do"

- straight afterwards we have his conversation with Robert when he tells him that he made General Strutt promise to send him back to the front at the end of the tour

- phenomenal acting when Matthew visits the hospital and appears completely overwhelmed by the sight of the wounded, but says that he couldn't be in the village and not come to help

- another speech to Robert when he confesses about the men praying for a bullet that kills them cleanly if they can't be spared and how for too many soldiers that prayer wasn't answered

- his growing cynicism about the war "you've been taking the logic pills again, Mason. This is the Army. We're going on patrol because we're going on patrol".

- another delated part of the conversation with Mary after he was missing

MARY: What’s the matter? You suddenly look quite haunted. MATTHEW: I am haunted . . . I only don’t talk about it because it doesn’t help. You see, when I’m here, I like to think it’s not real. That I won’t have to go back. But of course it never leaves me. MARY: Take care of yourself. Please. It really can’t be long now, and the worst thing of all is when people are . . . hurt, just before the end.

- his fear before Amiens while keeping his mask firmly on and expressing his care for his men while he speaks to them

- his guilt that he survived while William died and his months long depression after his injury

Uff, that's a long list! But the reason I wrote it all down was because I based Matthew's PTSD in The Heiress on those clues from canon. My interpretation is that while he volunteered propelled by a mix of duty and desire to run away from his heartbreak and Downton, he was wholly unprepared for the brutality of trench warfare. To cope with that and to protect his sanity, he more or less unconsciously focused on the duty to his men as their officer - only it evolved into unhealthy degree. That's why he expresses guilt for leaving them while going back to England with General Strutt and why he makes the general promise him to send him back there, even while he admits to Mary that he hates and fears the thought of going back and that he doesn't expect to survive it. So basically he makes a decision which, he is wholly convinced, will result in his death, but while he obviously hates the war and fears death or injury, he doesn't feel he has another choice - even though, realistically, with his connections he could have gotten a safer assignment - but he actively rejects such a possibility.

The different ways his PTSD expresses itself in The Heiress - nightmares, trembling hands, intense feeling of guilt, seeing himself as a murderer and irrevocably changed by his experience is more my conjecture, but I like to think reasonable one. Matthew in S2 is very different from Matthew in S1, both physically and in his behaviour. Gone is the lightheartness, cheerfulness and naivety, but his feeling of duty, kindness, determination and courage are increased. You see those glimpses of fear, being haunted, guilt and resignation in him at different times. Also his love for Mary - it is heavily hinted that it only grew in the meantime, got more intense, despite all his intentions and actions to fight it, which leads me to my headcanon that he used thoughts of her to fight his fear and escape the nightmarish reality he was forced to exist in.

I think it definitely could be explored more in canon and I am especially salty that it was completely dropped in S3 when it would have been wonderful to see how it is affecting him after the war and in his marriage to Mary. I think the reason it wasn't was because of Fellowes' statement that veterans of ww1 didn't talk about their experiences - but while that was mostly true, it definitely did affect them and their partners, so I think it was a sadly missed chance in canon.

I hope that answers your question and I would love to discuss it further if you want to, either here or in the comments to further chapters of The Heiress :) I love your insight into those issues!

#downton abbey #downton abbey fanfiction #the heiress #matthew crawley #ww1 #soldier matthew