#that often i guess but. but man i. guess what i mean is that i feel like when i went to the grocery store and felt that scent on the street

[bountydroid]

Darlin' pt 5

pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (Slowburn romance)

Description: Cooper starts to soften up.

Notes: This one is a bit longer! I might be a little slower between parts from now on as it is finals season and I'll be graduating with my bachelor's degree (yay!) plus I work full time. As always, any critiques are welcome!

The air between us after the hug attempt was thick with tension. We walked in silence as we made our way into the wasteland, clear tracks in the sand making the target easy to follow. I was sure that the look on my face was pathetic, like a kicked puppy. I tried to hide my hurt at first, but it didn't seem like he cared much since he had hardly even glanced at me since we left Ma June's shop anyway. At least I had Whilzig's dog. I knew he was just there to help us track his master, but his presence felt comforting. Without him, I think the tension between Cooper and I would be too much to handle. 

I glanced over at the ghoul every so often. I was hoping I would catch him glancing back, a sign that he did in fact, give a damn about me. I felt deflated. Any hope I had about his feelings for me had vanished. 

I let a quiet sigh escape my lips as I looked down at my feet. 

This seemed to get his attention as he stopped in his tracks and whipped around to face me. "Stop it." He said sternly, a look of annoyance on his face.

I was sure that my face did little to hide the horror I felt at his reaction. "I am just tired." I tried to lie.

"Sure." He said back, crossing his arms. He clearly knew I was lying.

I felt anger prickle up inside me. "Why are you looking at me like I did something wrong? I didn't." I exclaimed. "I hugged my friend. At least I thought I did."

He didn't respond to this, instead opting to look out into the never-ending sand.

"Let's just keep going," I mumbled as I stomped past him.

Growing up I loved the sun. I loved to feel its warm rays on my skin as it shined through the window. Now? Now I hated it. We had barely been in the Wasteland that long, and I already felt like the heat was suffocating me. It didn't seem to bother Cooper though. He showed no sign of tiring or discomfort. "One of the perks of being a ghoul I guess." I thought to myself bitterly.

After what felt like ages, our furry companion barked and started running towards a large piece of metal. Cooper and I exchanged looks before picking up our pace to catch up to him. 

"What the hell?" I mumbled as I pinched my nose and looked away from the headless body.

Cooper crouched down next to Whilzig, a look of mild confusion on his face before looking out into the wasteland. One of his coughing fits started as he took his pack off of his shoulder and put it on the ground, rummaging through it. He found what he was looking for quickly, a metal tin with a couple of vials of Radaway inside. Despite being angry with him, I looked down at him, concern evident on my face. Almost like he could sense it, he looked up at me as he put the vial into his inhaler. His eyes closed and a look of relief washed over his face as he breathed it in. He let out one more soft wheeze as he collected himself. 

"Cooper?" I asked softly. 

"Yeah, Darlin'?" He replied while getting up from the ground.

"I'm sorry." I started. "I am sorry for huggin' you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

His eyes bore into me while he contemplated his response. "You're okay Darlin'." He said quietly. "I am just an ill-tempered old man."

I let out a small giggle. "I would've said cranky, but ill-tempered is a nicer way to put it."

He let out a loud bark of a laugh in response. "Come on let's go find the rest of im'." He said as he patted my shoulder.

As we started to walk away from the body, Cooper let out a clicking noise, getting the dog's attention. The dog barked in response as he chased after us.

"How old are you anyway?" I ask curiously.

He hummed in response, "Old."

I decided not to press it further, his short response suggesting it wasn't something he wanted to discuss. This time, our silent march was much more pleasant. The tension from earlier was gone. I was exceeding grateful for this change. As the sun started to set, I felt relieved. The heat didn't feel quite as terrible as the sun started to fade behind the horizon.

"Good a spot as any," Cooper said as he peaked inside a half-crumbled building. 

I sighed in relief. "God my feet are killing me. I think I've done more walkin' with you than I have in my entire life."

He let out a breathy laugh, "And you are gonna do a lot more, sugar."

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep in the sand curled up next to Whilzig's dog.

-

I slowly peeled my eyes open as I felt someone gently shaking me. My bleary eyes peered up to see the face of my traveling companion.

"Mornin' Darlin'." He smirked at my dazed and exhausted face. "Sleep well?"

I just grumbled in response. I slowly raised to my feet, wincing as the pressure on them began to build. I felt his eyes on me as he raised his bag to his shoulder. I sighed as I reached down to pick up my bag as well. 

"When we get this bounty, I am gonna sleep for a week." I say with a soft groan.

"Gimme that." He said as he ripped my bag from my hands and threw it over his empty shoulder. He chuckled at the surprised look on my face. "Can't have your pretty ass slowin' me down."

I stood there for a moment and replayed our exchange in my head before finally running after him. "He keeps calling me pretty." I think to myself while a blush creeps over my cheeks.

"You know," I started, feeling bold. "I think we are a great team."

He glanced over at me, an amused look on his face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I hummed happily. "I am really glad I met you." 

An unrecognizable look washed over his face. Hesitation? Confusion? Fear? It looked like all of those emotions, all at once.

I gave him a weary smile, "Even if you won't let me hug you." I admit.

He hesitated, almost looking like he was going to say something before he stopped himself. 

"Hey, Dog Meat!" He yelled up at the dog, "Don't go far."

"Dog Meat?" I mused, "Really?"

"That's what he is, ain't he?" he replied, smirking.

I knew he was trying to change the subject. He was uncomfortable again. So, I decided to let him as I let out a small giggle. "Sure, Cooper."

We continued along, getting closer and closer to the derelict city. The silence was only interrupted by the occasional bark from Dog Meat. We happened upon an oasis, the water inviting, almost trying to trick me into taking a dip. I knew better than that. We could hear a commotion in front of us as we started to slow down, quieting our footsteps. Cooper turned to me and put a finger to his lips, silently shushing me. Someone else was there. The bounty?

 No, it was the vaultie. I stayed behind as Cooper snuck up behind her. She only noticed his presence once she heard the cock of his gun.

"Hello again." She said, her eyes filled with fear.

He greeted her by hitting her over the head with the butt of his gun. I grimaced as she fell to the ground. 

"Where is it?" He snarled. "The head."

She whimpered on the ground quietly while Cooper picked up her bag and emptied the contents into the dirt.

Cooper got angry as he realized the head wasn't there. He cocked his gun again, ready to shoot her. 

"Okay, okay, I don't know where it is. Okay? I lost it." The vaultie begged. "I lost it."

Cooper let out a soft hum as he looked around, it seemed like he already knew what he was looking for when he put his boot in a pile of dung. I made a disgusted face.

"Did you seriously have to do that?" I mumbled. This brought the vaultie's attention to me. She was so caught up in her fear of Cooper she didn't even realize I was there.

"A gulper got it, huh?" He said as he turned back to the vaultie before grabbing her by the hair. 

She cried as she begged for mercy as he dragged her to the dock. Once there, he tied a rope with an anchor on the end around her body as well as bound her feet. I just watched from afar, feeling slightly bad for the girl. Dog Meat was barking so loudly I could hardly hear them.

"Stop! Please!" She begged as she wiggled, trying to break free. "My dad, he's an overseer. He got taken by Raiders and I need that head to get him back. If you help me find him, he'll do whatever you want!"

Instead of responding, Cooper just pushed her into the water. The rope she was bound with was connected to a piece of metal I did not recognize, but it kept her from sinking to the bottom. She splashed around as she panicked. 

"Stop! Stop! Torture is wrong!" She cried out when he brought her back up out of the water.

Cooper let out a scoff. "You know, they used to do these things called studies. Why, you couldn't open a newspaper without reading about one study or another. Anyways, one particular study came out and it said torturing a person, don't do shit." He replied as he dropped her back into the water briefly before bringing her up again. "It made sense. I mean a man hurts me? I wouldn't want to do him any favors. And yet the practice of torture failed to vanish from this earth. In fact, as time marches on, I've personally noticed a decided uptick in the amount of torture being doled out across the board." He continued as he picked off a small creature from her back and fed it to Dog Meat.

"Sir, please. I need the head. It's the only way I can get my father back." The vaultie begged again. I admired her spirit. I debated asking Cooper to stop, but I bit my tongue instead.

"My point is," Cooper replied, ignoring her pleas. "If you ask me, them studies, they were right. Torturing a person don't do shit."

"Then why are you doing this?" She asked, exasperated. 

"Well, I ain't torturing you, sweetheart. I'm using you as bait." He explained before dunking her in the water again. I hated to admit it, but I felt a tiny bit of jealousy in my chest at the nickname. I knew I shouldn't be jealous, he obviously held little love for her.

Cooper started to whistle as he got closer to the edge of the dock like he was beckoning something near. It was at this point that I realized I had been slowly inching closer to them this whole time as my feet finally met the dock.

"What is a gulper?" I asked Cooper curiously.

"A monster, darlin'. Careful." He said, realizing how close I was getting to the water. He grabbed his knife off the wooden box he put it on earlier and tied a rope around it. He clearly had a plan.

The vaultie started crying out in the water and flailing around even more than usual. This caused Cooper to try and lift her out of the water again, but the machine he was using was stuck. 

"Cooper!" I cried out, realizing she was going to drown.

He sprang into action as he grabbed a hook, moving the entire machine to pull her out. As she was pulled onto the dock, a giant pink creature followed her. He was right. That was a monster. I ran up to the vaultie and grabbed her shoulders as I tried to pull her away, but the anchor tied around her was stuck in the gulper's mouth. She kicked at the creature violently as Cooper stuck it with his knife. The gulper got ahold of her leg and swung her around, pushing me into the water. I thrashed around as I tried to find something to hold onto. 

"Cooper!" I yelled before I finally was able to grasp ahold of the dock. I could hear the tussle above me and the gulper finally cry out and fall back into the water. 

I could hear Cooper gasping for air as he crawled over to me. "Give me your hand, sugar."

I quickly did as I was told. He pulled me out of the water and onto the dock with ease. He got up and looked out into the water, wincing as he realized the head was gone once again.

"Cooper," I said softly. "Your bag."

He moved swiftly, going straight for his tin of Radaway. At the realization that it was completely crushed he pointed his gun back at the vaultie.

"Motherfucker!" He shouted angrily.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should've just let you use me as bait in a poison river!" The vaultie yelled back.

Cooper lowered his gun before turning back around to the water. "Fuck!" He screamed.

I finally stood up and waddled my way over to him. My clothes were soaked, uncomfortably sticking to my skin. This caught his attention, he put his hand on my cheek as he briefly scanned my body, looking for injuries. "I am fine." I hummed, my heart squeezing in my chest at his show of affection. It wasn't much, but it showed how much he cared.

"You can't treat people like this!" The vaultie interrupted.

"Yeah, why's that?" Cooper asked, his mind obviously elsewhere. 

"Because of the golden rule." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

I gave her an amused look as I let out a small laugh. "The golden rule, huh? I don't think he follows that."

"Those gulpers digest real slow. You got time." Cooper said to himself.

I put the hand on his shoulder reassuringly, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked at me for a second before hurrying over to pick up our bags. "We gotta go." He pulled out his lasso and made his way to the vaultie.

"No. no, no, no, no." She begged as he put it around her neck. "Where are we going? What about the head? I need the head to get my dad back."

"Yeah, well, the wasteland's got its own golden rule," Cooper replied, dragging her along.

"Yeah, what's that?" She asked.

"Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time." Cooper sighed.

"What about the dog?" I asked, scurrying after him.

"He ain't ours." He responded curtly.

I frowned at him. I had gotten attached to Dog Meat, but the determined expression on Cooper's face kept me quiet. Wherever we were going, it was important.

Tag list: @msrawog @valdemarismynonbinarylove @topiramateagreeable @whizbang-cap @sitkafay @lightan117 @eykismyfav @ajeff855 @madelinealexandra @justme12200 @sihlaryn @raviolisenpai @ellabellabunny123 @impossessedbyjeongyeon @leviathanleva @v3lv3tf0x @judgementdays-girl

#cooper howard #the ghoul fallout #cooper howard x reader #fallout tv series #the ghoul x reader #fallout

[moonstruckme]

so requests are open again, can i así for a Robin fic where she tries to ask Reader out but she is really nervous and all cute?

Thanks for requesting babe!

Robin Buckley x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

You have no idea how Robin managed to get Keith to let three of you work the Saturday shift, but you owe her your life for it. 

Normally, you end up by yourself, uneventful weekday nights where you organize and reorganize the clearance section, talking to yourself since the last time you brought a book and Keith’s boss caught you on the cameras you got chewed out. 

Robin and Steve have a routine of their own. They pulled a hidden stock of snacks out of the break room, gossipped about who had borrowed what movies for how long and what that meant, made up ridiculous life stories for the customers that came in. Then Dustin had come over and Robin had relegated the boys to the back room. You like Steve, but you’re not mad about it; having Robin all to yourself makes your stomach do flips like it does on a rollercoaster. 

“Okay,” she says in a low voice, eyes tracking a customer who’s just wandered into the teen section. You’ve hopped up on the counter, sitting with your back to the door and your legs dangling, and her elbow is about three inches from touching your thigh. “The guy in the tank top. What do we think about him?” 

“He looks like he just rolled out of bed.” Which isn’t unreasonable, because it’s only ten. “Who comes to rent a movie first thing in the morning?” 

“Someone desperate,” Robin agrees. You’re both leaning in as you talk in near-whispers, but that distance between her arm and your leg stays. 

You hum. “He could have kids.” 

“Does he really look like someone who has kids?” 

“I don’t know what people who have kids look like. I guess there’s probably a variety.” 

“Fair…” She kisses her teeth as she watches him, big eyes narrowed sneakily. “I don’t know, I think he’s horny.” 

Your laugh is so loud and sudden you have to clamp a hand over your mouth. A customer browsing near you gives you an odd look, and you murmur an apology. Robin looks delighted. 

“Why would you think that?” you hiss at her. “He’s just looking for a movie.” 

Her expressions turns sheepish, complete with a cute half-smile that makes your brain buzz distractingly. “It’s possible I have some information you don’t.” 

You lean back on your hands and tilt your head, looking at her curiously. 

Robin leans in close. “He rented Fast Times five days ago and hasn’t returned it.” 

Her eyes are sparkling with amusement. With great effort you tear your gaze from them, looking past her at the man. “Oh,” you say, “yeah, I see it. He looks like he hasn’t shaved in days. I’ll bet he’s been locked in his mom’s basement watching the pool scene on repeat.” 

She turns her head down toward your leg to hide a smile, and her laugh tickles down your spine like a grazing touch. You have to trap your bottom lip between your teeth to keep your own grin from getting too out of hand. 

“This is fun,” you blurt. Or, it feels like a blurt, but Robin doesn’t seem to note your abruptness, only turning her eyes up to yours curiously. “Hanging out, I mean. I wish we worked the same shifts more often.” 

“Yeah, I—it is fun.” Robin’s smile gets a funny look to it, her gaze flitting down to the counter. “I’d rather work with you than Steve anytime. Not that you’re, like, only just better than Steve, obviously you’re tons better than him, I just meant that—Steve, he’s actually not terrible, I mean he’s probably my best friend, and he and I hang out outside work all the time, so—” She presses her lips together as if physically stopping herself. You chew your bottom lip. “Basically, I like hanging out with you even more than him, which is…not as low a bar as you might think.” 

“I don’t think that’s a low bar,” you say through a smile. “Steve seems cool.”

She scoffs. “He’s not. Don’t let him think you think that.” 

“He seems nice, I mean. Nicer than he was in high school.” 

“Exactly.” Robin lifts her stare to yours again, something like relief in it. “Yeah, he’s…better. He, like, had a spiritual change or something.” 

“Maybe he found good influences.” You nudge her leg with the toe of your shoe. She makes a scratchy laughing sound, looking away from you again. 

“We hang out a lot outside of work,” she says.

“You mentioned that.” 

“We could try that.” 

You blink, her candor cutting through the light and flirty feeling you’ve fallen into like a knife. 

“You and me?” 

“Yeah.” Her eyes find yours. “Like, if you wanted to hang out more, we don’t have to—I mean, we could, totally, we just don’t have to—do it here. At the store.” Her throat bobs so quick you almost miss it. Your chest feels tight, but not entirely unpleasantly. “We could go to the movies, or to get pizza, or to the roller rink—I don’t actually really know what you like to do, but you have to like movies, right? We could definitely watch a movie.”

There’s a commotion in your stomach. You want to look down and check again the distance between her arm and your thigh, but for some reason now it feels like too much of a risk. “Like, with Steve?” you ask. 

Robin’s nose wrinkles. “Definitely not with Steve.” 

“So, just us.” 

In the corner of your eye, you see her hands flex on the countertop. “If you want,” she says quietly. 

You wet your lips. When you take a second too long to answer, she goes on, “Or we could totally invite other people, if that’s what you want to do.” 

“No,” you say quickly. “Just us is…is good.” 

“Really?” Robin sounds so surprised you can’t help but smile. She smiles back, tentatively, like she’s not one-hundred percent sure if she’s in on the joke but she’s happy if you’re happy. 

“Yeah.” You lower your voice, glancing around the store. You’d nearly forgotten you were in public. You think for a second you catch Steve looking, but he directs his stare to the movies he’s organizing, smiling to himself and waving off something Dustin’s said. “I’m not doing anything tomorrow, if you want to see what’s showing then.” 

Robin grins, huge and heart-stutteringly pretty. It shows all her teeth and little lines shoot out from her eyes like rays of sunshine. “Do you like thrillers?” 

“Sure.” No. 

She leans forward conspiratorially, and it takes every ounce of willpower you possess not to look down when you feel her skin make contact with the side of your thigh. Your heart starts beating hummingbird fast. “Perfect.” 

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x fem!reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley x self insert #robin buckley fanfiction #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley fic #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley scenario #robin buckley drabble #robin buckley blurb #robin buckley oneshot #robin buckley one shot #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things fandom #stranger things x reader

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Okay so what I am getting is that MHJ is being targeted and pushed out. But what I don’t understand is why? Surely it’s not ONLY because she is pushing against the powers in Hybe? Is this all just because egos were being bruised?

I just can’t wrap my head around it all and why they would risk damaging New Jeans for all of this. But seeing how corporate executives (especially from the stupidity that’s happened over at SM) are I guess it makes sense…

*

Ask 2:

But why would Hybe want MHJ gone, bpp? Or, why would the top dogs at Hybe allow this attack on her? She is clearly very good at her job, and is behind the success of Hybe's second biggest group (I put Newjeans over 17), and until now it seemed like they were ready to provide her with the funds, connections and freedom to grow Newjeans to even bigger heights. Trying to take her out seems so stupid and counterproductive for the future of Newjeans and Ador in general....

***

I ramble. Sorry.

I mean, it’s still quite possible HYBE is right and Min Heejin is stupid enough to be guilty of everything they’ve accused her of.

But I want to highlight a few things I believe about MHJ and this situation. Some of them, such as the blind about the SM colleague who gifted her the ig pictures, I’ve talked about before in more detail, but here’s a summary of what I think about MHJ that’s influenced this outcome:

For Korean sensibilities, she’s an extremely unlikeable woman. Not necessarily because she could be cruel, harsh, or anything like that (though I wouldn’t be surprised if she is), but because of how male-like she is, down to how she expects (and demands) her words and contributions to be weighted. To put it mildly, she’s a freak of nature in Korea. It’s one reason I think she’s only gotten this far in her career because of how genuinely good she is at her job, and how often she insists on full credit.

But the first rule of corporate culture is that no one is indispensable, and it’s necessary to have friends in high places. The latter is easy to do if you’re a man, but near impossible if you’re a woman, especially for a woman like MHJ if I’m right about the kind of person she is.

The best thing for NewJeans and Min Heejin, would’ve been for these issues to be resolved internally. I’m sure everybody involved knows that. There is no outcome with things as they stand now, that doesn’t significantly damage NewJeans and MHJ. But the fact that the current scandal leaves only the current choices, and this is the result only because of a third factor: VP L, stands out to me. Meaning, if VP L wasn’t in the picture, chances are things wouldn’t have come to this point. Recall, VP L was apparently a fairly recent addition to ADOR.

It’s true that Min Heejin wants more independence and exclusivity for ADOR. It was the one condition for her joining HYBE when Bang PD hired her in 2019. In my view, it’s clearly a point of pride for her. However, if another sub-label shows no respect for that independence and exclusivity, I can see how many, including MHJ, would think it’s meaningless. HYBE offers immense resources, but corporate tussles over more access to those resources while insisting on independence and exclusivity can easily become heated, personal, and nasty. Especially if the person demanding it is a woman with the ego of a man.

I’m sure several allegations such as MHJ wanting to gain more share ownership, are probably things MHJ has said at various points, though the practicality of her pulling it off while NewJeans is still such a young group is next to nil - something MHJ has also admitted. So MHJ has admitted to actually wanting more independence and ownership, (something she’s accused of by HYBE), but refusing that she planned to go about it now and in the way they’ve alleged. That’s part of what makes this scandal so insidious. It’s weaponizing an obvious desire years before the target can realistically develop the ability to act on it. I’ve seen people frame HYBE’s move as a counterattack, but in reality it’s preemptive. It slows down NewJeans’ trajectory, yes, but in a multi-label system that’s been revealed to have poorly managed and toxic competition, there are likely more people interested in seeing that happen, than the reverse.

SM Entertainment has a reputation for blacklisting artists and employees who cut ties with them. I’ve talked about this in more detail before, but just as it was during the CBX lawsuit when suddenly, blinds started popping up smearing the characters of Baekhyun, Xiumin, and Chen and it caught on because some truth was mixed with truly fucked up shit (the members eventually dropped most of their demands and settled with SM), and just as during MHJ’s ig scandal where the picture gifts from her ‘friend at SM’ resulted in a smear campaign that combined some truth with a rumormill of misinformation… those are the examples I’ll list for now but understand this is very common playbook with SM in particular. That nonsense about the Pink Bloods didn’t come from nowhere. A top executive could use that phrase unironically and publicly because the company culture at SM, more than any other agency, is patently cult-like, as admitted by their own employees over literal decades. There’s a sense that nobody can really leave. When another blind from 2021 mentioned that the sense of resentment and betrayal at SM was extremely high when MHJ moved to HYBE, it only adds to my view.

Something that informs my view is that VP L *moved to ADOR* before all of this happened. If it’s assumed he acted sympathetically, that is, wanted to help MHJ achieve her goals of being independent from HYBE, then anyone would tell you that him moving to ADOR was exactly the wrong thing to do. Everything he did at ADOR, he could’ve done while at HQ - the file he created with sale scenarios, the alleged showing of financial documents to MHJ, the supposed courting of investors. In fact, it would be more useful for ADOR/MHJ to have him remain at HYBE if the point was for him to have a hand in HYBE granting them more autonomy. This is like the abcs in business. It’s why the double agent always remains in enemy camp rather than move to the home base. The only thing his move to ADOR does, is incriminate them beyond doubt. And that’s what has happened. This is the most illogical thing to me about this entire scandal.

Min Heejin is naive and careless, and probably not much of a conventionally accepted ‘good person’. In my opinion. The thing about people like this is, even if they are innocent in reality, they are perceived by most people not to be. Because naive, careless, and bad people, deserve to be punished in any case. She’s a classic scapegoat and she has no one to blame but herself for being in this situation.

I like NewJeans, and despite everything, I don’t think HYBE wants them to fail. And like you’ve all realized by now, the fallout of this scandal isn’t limited to just Min Heejin and NewJeans, it negatively affects every single group from HYBE. The company will try to maintain normalcy for their groups. I suspect things will likely continue business as usual for them, unless somebody does something truly crazy. But like most other scandals in k-pop, they’ve become ‘tainted’, something that could only happen due to a group of people within HYBE who don’t genuinely take pride in the work created by the sub-labels in HYBE.

If Bang PD had any sense, he’d root out that group. He seems to still enjoy producing too much for me to think he’s part of that group himself, but I have no longer have illusions as to his limitations as a businessman.

[tangledinink]

Would you ever make a non-graphic comic on Donnie laying the eggs?

I mean, I'm not opposed to exploring such concepts, generally speaking, (as I've repeatedly showcased lol), I just don't really know what a comic like that would really entail. I don't have a good story in my mind atm about this, so I don't have any plans r/n. 🤷🏻‍♂️ If y'all have specific questions about his experience and such, then maybe I'd get an idea for something, but right now I have no plans for it.

#i mean it's basically birth just to the left #i figure most of y'all (dear god plz) understand what that experience is like generally speaking #obviously every person and their experience is different but. you know. same basic steps for most people? #there's just a million different ways to do it and a million different ways to get through to the same end goal (more or less) #but r/n off the top of my head it would just be a lot of donnie swearing and crying and swearing and pacing and swearing etc etc etc #i guess it also depends on whether or not theres like? genuinely any interest for that type of comic #coz we've established im v down to make content abt '''taboo''' topics but i still often feel like im toeing the line lol. #so i kind of. gauge a lot of these things off of y'all. #gemini au asks #asks #anon #tw birth #cw birth #birth #kinda sorta #tw childbirth #cw childbirth #childbirth #sorta kinda #man whenever i tag these things one of the things that pops up under “popular” tabs is always like #things like b1rth k!nk and im like #nO #im trying to tag this for people who wanna blacklist it i dont wanna accidentally put it in the Pornography Bin #and there's nothing wrong with that like power to the ppl go off live ur life but like #A) thats not why im making this stuff and i dont rlly want it to be viewed that way #B) you know what im sure this isnt what the k!nk ppl are looking for anyway i dont wanna clog up their tags with off topic content--

[dandyshucks]

blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭 #and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!! #''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/ #''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍 #I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ???? #what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly. #vent // #SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it) #(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl) #delete later #dandyshucks

[suchine-toki]

Takasugi and Zura are kinda dumb in different ways when it comes to social situations, and that's why they became friends in the first place :')

#Gintama #Takasugi Shinsuke #Katsura Kotarou #Joui 4 #I can talk #We see Zura be weird more often #However Sugi is also weird sometimes #Like that time he spat at Sakamoto and told him to give it back to Gintoki #or when he didn't understand what a straight man is #I guess what I mean is that it seems like he sometimes takes things literally like Zura does lol

[kxllerblond]

Happy Tuesday everyone, I will now be unloading unsolicited opinions about the RPC.

People take 'This is a hobby!!' way too far to the point you are not taking into account other real people also exist and are only thinking about yourself and it can come across as scummy and self-absorbed and a lot of people use the 'just a hobby!' to excuse this shitty behavior and an inability to communicate with other hobby enjoyers like adults.

No one should get mad at people for dropping threads or not being active, but it's also super shitty to just ghost people and go 'teehee just a hobby so you aren't allowed to be upset!'. Like, yeah, you have limited time and a real life but so does?? everyone else on here?? It's super not cool to just invalidate people who are upset their limited time is, in their view, being wasted.

Obviously, I'm not defending people that don't just unfollow or block and move on and who get passive aggro about it all. And I'm also not calling out the people that don't do much but are like PRESENT to some degree even if it's just ooc shitposting.

I mainly mean the people I see who refuse to do threads, to answer asks, to communicate when stuff is being dropped to some degree, to participate and be social in any capacity and then get kinda pissy when no one wants to send them shit anymore. Like you are entitled to exist and participate in this hobby as you see fit....but it is a social hobby. You HAVE to give to get and if people pin you as someone who only takes, they're going to stop giving. None of us have little meow meows that are so interesting that we can just expect people to frolic to them and gush about them and shower them with interaction without some sort of reciprocation.

And, frankly, I don't think there's room to complain when that happens. You can't have your cake and eat it too in this scenario. You can 'this is just a hobby!' your way through things how you like, but you also have to realize the consequences of that and you can't be upset when they come down on you and your blog.

#like I KNOW there are ppl here i am chill with who do not interact with me as often as before because i am a notorious thread dropper #and not everyone can do that short thread. drop. new thread. drop. manner of rapid rping #and thats FINE. i accept that consequence. #and there are ppl im chill with who i dont send memes to much anymore because they never answer them or never return the favor #doesnt mean im mad about it doesnt mean i fault them for it. ppl have lives. but that the consequence and it involves me redirecting my tim #and energy to send memes to ppl who DO engage in return etc #there's just been this sudden surge in like....entitlement ive noticed. and it's just sort of co-opd what used to be a message #directed at ppl that were being demanded to reply to things the same day etc like it was a legit /good/ message #now you cant even like unfollow someone without them being like ITS JUST A HOBBY HOW DARE YOU UNFOLLOW hostility because someone is choosin #to take their business elsewhere so to speak so they can have fun with this hOBBY. its so...weird ykno #we dont owe anyone anything but a lot of ppl forget the second half of that which is #yeah but other people dont owe us anything in turn either #cw long post #cw negativity #well i mean only if you see urself in this post i guess OOP. otherwise man idk #dont get pissed at ppl for not hobbying to ur speed or standards #but also dont be surprised to learn ppl are different and have different paces and shit and WILL move on #if theyre not getting enjoyment out of the pace you're hobbying at #ur not entitled to their attention just like they're not entitled to urs ykno

[weaselshaped]

Hmm I need to make another embarrassing gender post but not right now I think

#Embarrassing in that like. I mean it's all embarrassing. It's embarrassing to have spent this long missing the point #And to talk about that in public. I am 27 years old and I have id'd as nonbinary for almost a decade and yet I could not refer to myself #as transmasc or incorporate that meaningfully into my self-concept until like. This year. Due to... REASONS??? #I literally don't even know! There IS no reason! I just didn't want to deal with it because it seemed harder than resigning myself to being #mistaken for a woman for the rest of my life??? I guess???? Stupid and cowardly tbh #Meanwhile tying myself in knots over like. Disproportionately identifying with queer men in fiction and deciding this was some sort of Crim #'Here is a thing that transmascs often do. Not me though I'm doing it for some other reason' I wasted SO MUCH TIME on this #It's not even really important i just invested a lot of energy into repression for WHAT. and like also on the internet the way I have #described myself over time is like. I am probably revealing some embarrassing things about the way I have engaged with my relationship to #gender that were not apparent until I started getting over myself/moving on from that bullshit. So that's great #I don't know man I would like to feel unequivocally good about sorting my shit out and finally doing what needs to be done #but mostly I just feel like I took too long and now I'm making myself look like an idiot. Idk man. I suck actually! #Oh look I basically did make the post anyway but as tags. Extremely me behavior

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[leatherbookmark]

oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously

#he's a little annoying dude. i swear to fuck #'the real villain in the show is the system and izzy is siding with the system' babygirl he's a pirate 😭 he really isn't 😭 #he could NOT more clearly be -- he literally IS -- that kind of gay man who wears his leathers and anger as an armor because being scary ha #been his way of fighting The System => being consumed and destroyed by it; and who looks down and feels disgusted by flamboyant #and effeminate soft-handed gays because if they're this soft then they clearly haven't experienced this kind of abuse that would make them #harden up. ....you know what i mean. #like idk this show in general like... doesn't have a 'villain'? it's about stede (and ed's) journey and their development. not necessarily #about their Conflict With Someone/Something. i guess it might change in s2 but idk. there are just Situations in which they find themselves #and because of/md is a comedy no one really... holds things against other characters in a long-term way? izzy stabs stede and sells him #out to the english and ed punches him for the latter (which he says 'ok fair' about!!! like!!!) but does he go 'and for all the shit you've #done i'm Firing you as my first mate? no! he slams him against the wall and feeds him his toe but he's like. ok get up and back to work #and he doesn't seem particularly disgusted or upset with him in that final blackbeard's flag 2.0 moment. (nor manipulated; inb4) #like. it's a workplace romcom. the workplace is a pirate ship but it's a workplace and izzy is that annoying coworker who's a bitch and #often ruins everyone's fun but no one like... Seriously ostracizes him. more like applies some light bullying BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY. #COMEDY. do we remember that? #and like. it seems he's going to have a bit of a larger (?) role in s2... it really doesn't seem like the show sees him as a 'villain' or #even an active 'antagonist' either. like ok let's agree 2 disagree and may both sides block each others' asses into oblivion because god #knows both sides have some annoying people but mannnn sometimes... insisting that things Can be divided into Good and Bad... is worse? #shrimp thoughts #once again i wrote a tag novel about an incredibly silly thing. welcome to leatherbookmark

[volivolition]

what's the theme you're fucking going for here voliiii!!! what are you fucking getting at!!! what are you trying to say, what's the point??

#still working on this drama chapter in Swept Up. they're. confusing to work with? from an empathy standpoint at least. #skill who is trying to honestly understand the other skills VS skill who is just always lying and putting on an act. #and then theres the whole thing that im not going to spoil yet but the dynamic. fuck man. i dont even know what im trying to say here #lying is bad? no i dont care about that. honest communication is important maybe? i feel like i need a central theme for this. #and i dont want the theme to be ''empathy good'' because low-empathy people are also good and i love them!! and also: #empathy is a flawed character!! i try to portray this. i dont like moralism/centrism which empathy believes in and is the main skill for #empathy you stupid centralist (affectionate) i know this is just because you don't know how to make everyone happy. who can fix this? #you dont think you can fix this! you feel too much debilitating sadness to make meaningful change!! responsibilite to others more capable #still. i do depict empathy as often kind on a small level because i think that's in character. empathy just helps you understand. #i guess this fic is also a ''empathy doesn't mean kindness. kindness is a choice you can make afterwards but empathy just means empathy'' #but that's not a centralizing theme that all the chapters share. its also about vulnerability and the mortifying ordeal of being known #urgh. i'll think about it some more. knowing me its probably another ''love (in all forms) is the meaning to life'' type story lmao <3 #i need to make a skill chart for this harry. all i know is that Volition is his skill signature but Empathy is his highest stat #hyper-empathetic harry with the rsd that comes from adhd!! haha!! suffering. everybody fucking hate you. this is based on me btw lmao #i was working on voli's chapter which has a flashback and child empathy! new to the mindspace looking out through harry's eyes and crying #the world is full of sad people and it's just too much for a lil guy! the backstory i have planned for this like. huh okay. wild. anyway!! #oh shit ive made a fucking breakthrough with the drama chapter. its not a theme but its something i figured out at least. we stay winning!! #chemi chats #task: swept up

[vitiateoriginator]

Birthday keroppi time B)

#screams #my birthday is next Friday holy shit I'm gonna be 25 #can't believe its that time of year again #and not me blanking about what I want to get and do for my birthday #wtf could I ask for that I can't get or go do myself #anything I would want is out of the question because of expense (like a new pc. I still haven't gotten one) #I guess I could ask for pokemon legends arceus. I've been meaning to buy it but haven't been able to justify spending $60 #on a game I might take my seeet ass time playing thru cause I hate using my switch lite (the screen is so fucking small its annoying) #but its an idea at least #as for what I want to do? man idk #we'll probably go to olive garden like most years which Im cool with #although nowadays my datemate and I go there often for dates (we were just there yesterday for instance) #but I love olive garden so I won't say no to going #maybe to that historical township thats a half hour drive away? #datemate and I were supposed to go today as part of my vacation #but he talked me out of it (like he does with most big trip plans I make 😒) #the reason he did so it because its hot as balls today and sunny with a hogh uv index #we'd be outside for most of the trip and her reckons being in the heat will make him miserable and a killjoy #because he's heat sensitive. I am too so I can't really argue with him on that #so maybe it'll be cooler on the 15th so we can go #if not I don't really mind waiting til October because that township is better in the fall #but anyways those are the ideas I have rn #I'll probably ask for a pokemon plushie as a gift #I'd kill to get a new stufful plushie but those are rare and expensive thanks to scalpers #I'd be down to get another Vaporeon like my datemate bought me last year. or another of my favorites #Im not gonna be too picky this year even tho its a big birthday (my brain is fully developed) #because a lot of my birthdays turn out to be shit. last year was really nice tho #but I don't want to get my hopes up for anything and then be depressed that day like what often happens #so I will just be grateful to get some good tasting cake. that's literally the bare minimum of what I want without question #sam's rants about life

[scrawnytreedemon]

Part of me, after all this time of kinda feeling 'eh' about the prospect, wants to try dating. Issue is that I basically have no options in my area, and as many lovely people as there are online who I'm compatible with... Once we officially start dating, I just can't keep up?

It's a mixture of not having anything physical to do(not even talking that I mean like going out and shit) and also needing to be more active online when my track record is already very spotty, lol.

Plus, thinking about the future, y'kno? Not even in a marriage and kids kinda way, but like,,, how viable would it be to close the distance? What if I found someone more generally suited to me in my area, even if we don't share that soul-bond?

It ends up being easier to stay friends, even if in person I know I'd be all over them. Don't want to strain the lovely thing we already have.

#scrawny rambles #something's gotta change and that might be me #i just. man i don't know. #i'm curious and i think under the right circumstances it could be alot of fun #but alot of the times the other party gets caught up in the idea of romance that they kinda forget whatever issues we might be facing first #usually circumstancially #it's sucks because i don't get to have that head-over-heels dazzled by love throwing all caution to the wind mentality #because i end up having to carry concerns for both of us if you get what i mean??? #like it's nice it's fun but i can never be truly carefree #i don't want to be a killjoy i want to explore i want to have a good time i want another person to open up to #but i guess i need that other person to be grounded at least somewhat. maybe then i could float too. #ahhhhuuuaaa........... #there's also the other horrible issue of my feelings usually being sparked *by* the fact it wouldn't be a good idea to get with them #and then bottling it up for months or even a year in the case of my ex-gf (amiable) #feeling horrid and guilty and wishing i didn't feel anything at all #i end up confessing not out of the hope to start something but to get the weight off my chest #if they don't like me back. then terror but also relief. #more often they DO and on one hand it's thrilling it's incredible it's top of the world #...and then the dread kicks in #the fear that my feelings will fade that i'm not feeling enough #and i think part of that is that i *do* need some form of physical contact in order to keep the *passion* alive #otherwise... it just ends up falling into friend territory again #maybe my sample-size is too small and i'm generalising #i don't know #it seems guilt and terror are massive motivators and get sublimated into intense longing #and then once that again... it inverts. which is so stupid like come on. come the fuck on. #anyhow there's your session of scrawny pouring her heart out. confess your love in the replies to me ig. lmaoo

[starbuck]

I honestly love that you talk about Tuco and Salamancas so much. it's partly the show's fault but they are such a fucked up chain of harm family, and nobody really talks about it much aside from memes

I really appreciate you saying this!

I remember specifically after my initial whirlwind six-day Breaking Bad bingewatch, i was doing a puzzle and listening to some music and I suddenly realized that, out of everything in the show, their collective tragedy had really affected me and stuck with me and thinking “hmm, well surely watching Better Call Saul will cure me of this…” and then I felt this absolute JOLT of delight upon unexpectedly seeing Tuco at the end of the BCS pilot and I was like “ah, okay, so I’m stuck like this!”

But seriously though, it’s been rewarding! I like puzzles! I like characters who the canon does dirty or who were clearly not the writers’ primary concern! I like to think critically about the media I consume and the way I interact with it! And I also ADORE inescapable cycles of tragedy! … So this whole thing was actually fairly predictable, in hindsight, haha…

And yeah, I’d LOVE to talk more about it… I’ve got another fic that’s fully done besides a final polish edit (which is gonna take awhile and I’ve been super busy with my new job, hence no progress in the past month or so!) - so I’m excited to get that out eventually as I prefer to share my more inference-heavy meta in fic form.

#and yeah the memes are… frustrating. often. #not all of them - obviously - but a good amount of them are just uncritically rehashing the racism of the show #and that sucks #not like i’m expecting deep analysis from memes or even deep analysis for minor characters at all #but think about what you’re posting at least - y’know? #preaching to the choir here though… #i really appreciate you saying this - like i said #most of the reason i haven’t been posting about them much lately is real life busyness #but I was also definitely a BIT afraid of annoying people #so hearing you say this means a lot to me! #and definitely gives me motivation to work more on my fic and get it out for people to see! #it’s longer than the other one and i’ve worked really hard on it so it’s a long time coming! #brba #bcs #not really trying to get this into the tags but for organizational and friend blacklist reasons 😂😂 #additionally: anyone who can guess the exact song that caused me to have this realization gets uhhhhhhh… idk. a gold star. #i think it’s doable #i’m not a subtle man

[karmaphone]

hmm. that jokey post going around about an enemy missing ur vital organs & that being an insult to them bc of relative biomass and idk the wording is bothering me a little bc like. no single organ is Vital really. disabled ppl exist. lots of people don't have functioning intestines or pancreases. many people have one lung or kidney, or are on respirators or dialysis, people have pacemakers and artificial and pig hearts. I think all the time about that one woman who led a relatively 'normal' life until they discovered she just didn't have 70% of an adult human's brain mass and then she became another Scientist Test Subject

#like maybe think a little about what you consider vital. about what you consider an average body to be #what is Vital when so many people live (and live full lives!) without? #normal in quotes bc disabled people fucking ARE normal #also by Scientist Test Subject I mean that ppl with 'abnormal' anatomy are frequently under intense scientific scrutiny for Having Bodies #and are often experimented on (often without them really wanting to) #like. we know about stomachs the organ bc a man got shot and lived with a hole in him. and he was Kept by a scientist and experimented on #for the rest of his life. the foundations of modern gynecology stem from the 30(+?) unanesthetized surgeries on an enslaved woman who had a #stillborn bc her pelvis was misshapen from rickets #idk just. stop thinking of only abled bodies and their components as normal I guess

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

So like technically I’m not dating her but yeah I think I do in fact have a girlfriend

#very fun airport date today #we flew out on the same flight and she didn’t have anyone sitting next to her so I moved to sit with her #and then we got to hang out for a couple hours bc we both had a layover and we got dinner #it’ll be weird not having dinner with her. like. we spent practically every day of the last month together #many of nights we made dinner together #or went out to eat #oh and the fact that I stay at her apartment on weekends #and help her study. which actually has almost made me make time for studying #she definitely had me making time for food tho bc tell u what I straight up barely ate before she and I got close #also. she’s like I mean we’re practically dating #i wouldn’t mind at all. in fact it would be nice to not keep calling her my mug friend. mug friend is now code for whatever she and I are #i would date her so fast but my girl is a little afraid I think of the pressure of that. which I don’t mind. I’m perfectly content #man it’s gonna suck not seeing her all break. Jan 5th! cannot come soon enough #she managed to deal with all of my weird quirks and isms never once made me feel bad about them and just overall has been so very patient #bc our first encounter was us making out and I was like god why does anyone do that ever it feels so weird and bad #well it turns out I am incredibly lacking in the physical affection department and I can’t stand anything I’m remotely unfamiliar with #slow and steady wins the race with me I guess and now I understand why people make out and I have a hickey collection on my neck very often #I’m boutta be so very touch starved this break. i wanna go back to college :/ #i literally just got to my house. get me out. i will say it’s nice to be back in the part of the Midwest where people will gladly #hit you with their car if you get a little too in their way. I’m back in the city <3 I prefer when people drive like it’s a blood sport #soup talks