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i-can-even-burn-salad · 1 year

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Word Find Tag

I was tagged by @nanashi23 :D

My words: Clear, Dark, water, salt, and ash

Your words: Spite, Denial, Mood and Dignity

Aaand I’m tagging @winterandwords @verkja @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

So I am currently trying to beat the glued together Undeserved into shape, which makes it my WIP of the day week.

Clear “Hel—” The hand squeezed, cutting off his scream for help, turning it into a pitiful wheeze. Riordan blinked, trying to clear his gaze, to focus it on the shadow in front of him. A face, painfully familiar and yet so different. Looking so much younger than Damien, with a fury in his eyes Riordan had never seen on his friend’s face. The instinctive panic of the sudden attack made room for a more conscious one. It was Damien’s brother, and he looked like he was about to fucking kill him.

Dark “But if they’d ask me, I’d suggest stringing you up on the next tree and be done with it.” Damien couldn’t stop himself from wincing at those words. A dark laugh told him that it hadn’t gone unnoticed, and he cursed himself. “Don’t like that idea, do you?” Now the man crouched down, keeping one hand on top of the cage to steady him. “It’s almost funny. Tell me, Nightmare,” he said, drawing out the name, “how many did you make believe they’d die? How often?”

Water “I brought you some water.” The words made Damien lift his head again. There was a hand in front of him, holding a worn waterskin. Offering it. For a moment, Damien wanted to believe, wanted to trust his brother’s kindness. He couldn’t. He didn’t deserve it. “Did you piss in that, too?” he asked while snatching the waterskin. It was more of a weak, desperate grab, really, but indignant snatching sounded better in his head.

Salt Merridy found her own shoes, grabbing a blanket off the bed and the room key off the table before leading him to the door. He let her guide him, hold him, anchor him in this reality. It was dark in the hallway, but after so many months, they both knew every corner, every step. Side by side they walked down the stairs and into the backyard, illuminated by pale moonlight. It was late; or early. Not quite morning yet, but the night was already fading, the faintest hint of light at the horizon. The air smelled a bit of fish and a bit of salt, and it was nowhere close to the stench of his dungeon cell. The city wasn’t yet awake, not here. Their footsteps were the loudest noise, a quiet clattering on the cobblestone, then an even quieter crunching noise when they left the city behind and reached the beach.

Ash (Yea, totally cheating on this one) “Fuck this glass. Fuck everything,” he snapped, making Damien flinch. “Fuck everything and then what? What will you do with your life?” “I don’t know. There’s a whole world out there. There’s more than…” Valadan trailed off, stepping away from the door. He walked to the shelves lining the shop window towards the street. Damien watched him trail his fingers across some of the things laid out there, resting on a colorful lantern made from dozens of glass shards. “This old-fashioned bullshit made by an old-fashioned asshole.” “I made that.”

#salad-tag #Ahhh I have a couple of those games in my drafts

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shepard-ram · 3 years

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Helsknight x Reader [Relationship Headcanons]

(Fluff, Request: *zooming on over* Hey bestie!! My beloved platonic wife!! Don’t over stress urself! Anyways- hehe hels stuff go BRRRRRR and you know what that means-

Helsknight trying to take Welsknight’s life, essentially. In any way he can. He just wants to fuck it all up. Just be a general asshole. Then you come in the picture and you’re nice. Wtf is wrong with you??? So yea- if he wanted to fuck up and take Welsknight’s life before hand he really wants it now. He rlly likes you. Ish. You’re too nice and stuff. He’ll accept it with open arms, he guesses.

So anyways that’s the idea. What would you think he’d do to achieve that new life he wants? How badly does he want to absolutely ruin Welsknight- just rip his life from right beneath him?? You know, the cool jazz like that.

Yandere or non-yandere. It’s ur pic my beloved. /p Also I have no clue if that counts as yandere so OOPS -🦤)

So I took this and used it as the bones for some general meeting/relationship headcanons! I hope this is sufficient for what you wanted Dodo- wrote this during a very good time for my creative brain so I'm very happy with it :D Tw. Stalking I guess? Like mans just in the background but this isn't tagged as yandere for a reason lmao

--------------

Things were shaping up to be the perfect season for everyone, including the champion of hels himself

There were alot of things on the agenda. Among them was a very personal vendetta, that weakling in a knights disguise

If his first attempt at a confrontation was anything to learn from, Hels would have to be alot more patient and observing before making his next move

That's when he first became aware of you

Being Wels's closest neighbor he ended up watching you nearly as much as he did Wels

Immediately one thing was obvious, you were nothing like the people of his kingdom

You were disgusting. Absolutely repulsive. How could someone as unconditionally kind and forgiving as you not have been crushed by this world yet?

Dispite his personal aversion to your good nature he was a villain. He knew an opportunity when he saw one

So he tried to get close to you, you would be the perfect gateway to destroy his counterpart

...

Why why why WHY

Why in God's name did he have to get attached?

You even confessed to knowing who he was, but your still just too goddamn nice to him

He hated that his heart actually flutters at your laugh. He wanted to throw up just thinking about it

One thing hasn't changed though, he hates Wels

But now there was another reason, as much as he didn't want to acknowledge it he knew exactly what it was

Jealousy, he loathed the fact that he hated Wels mostly because Wels was so often soaking up your attention

He wanted to be the one you were constantly doting on

The amount of time he spends fantasizing about living a gental, sweet, domestic with you would've gotten him ridiculed off the face of his homeland

He might've just struck down Wels if he wasn't very aware that you would never forgive him

Somehow the dread of you rejecting him outweighed how much Hels detested him

And who would've guessed... of course you were extremely patient with him. Always expressing how much you believed that he wasn't as bad as he thought he was

He started to not mind that he hoped you were right.

#shepard ram writes #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #hermitcraft x reader #hc x reader #c: helsknight #c: welsknight #this is just hels being an emotionally stunted little bastard-#not to mention very jealous

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tomishaped · 3 years

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Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warnings:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence • Major Character Death

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Supernatural

Relationship:

Dean Winchester!Izzy Hlton

Characters:

Dean Winchester • Izzy Hilton • Sam Winchester • Asmodeus • Dagon • Demons • Hellhound • Ellen Harvelle • Jo Harvelle • Hunters • Crowley • Charlie Bradbury • Bobby Singer • Ruby • Death • Pestilence • Famine • War • Castiel • Angels • Cain

Additional Tags:

Demon Dean Winchester • Demon Sex • Kidnapping • Gay Sex • Blood • Blood Kink • Hate Sex • Love/Hate • Major Character Injury • Major Original Character(s) • Character Death • Past Child Abuse • Past Rape/Non-con • Past Sexual Abuse • Past Torture • Past Violence • Canon-Typical Violence • Violence • Protective Dean Winchester • Bisexual Dean Winchester • Top Dean Winchester • Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings • Izzy is too • Emotional Hurt/Comfort • Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Summary: After being pulled out of hell Dean realizes quickly that the four months he had been gone made way for a lot of changes in the lives of everyone he knows, including the life he had known for himself before he died. Nobody was treating him the same, and there was seriously something going on with his brother that he could not figure out. He was spending most of his time alone nowadays, not really hunting anymore since Bobby and Sam were against it for him, and spending most of his time drinking instead to try and forget. He was angry, pretty much all the time. That anger really worked in his favour though when walking back to the impala he came across a freaking hoard of demons getting ready to attack some blond chick. He didn't know who she was or what the hell all the demons wanted with her, but there was no way he could just walk away. Maybe if he had any idea what trying to save this person was going to lead too he would have just walked away, maybe if he had actually given any thought to the situation before him he wouldn't have put himself in the middle of it, but even before hell he made impulsive and rash decisions... so maybe not.

Previous Chapters:

• Chapter One • Chapter Two: Part One •

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Two: Welcome to the Batcave

Part Two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izzy watched the other actually curious for a moment to see if he would finally catch what he said. Aaaand, there it was! He had to give the hunter some props, he was taking the fact that he mistaked Izzy for a girl better than he could remember anyone else had. Demons especially hated him for it. Not for the same reasons that humans seemed too, most demons really didn't care what your fucking gender was as they body hopped so often, what they didn't like was that someone so small, sweet, and innocent looking was actually a deadly assassin sent by a prince of hell. And worse, he was good at it. Izzy looked away from him again and back at the book he was holding when Dean started to talk, crossing one leg over the other as he started to look through the book. "If the idiots would just abandon their stupid plans of trying to break Lucifer from the cage I would just leave them alone," Izzy muttered as most of his attention was back to the book in his hands, not realizing he even said it out loud or knowing if Dean had heard about what this specific group of hellions were planning. "I wouldn't count too much on actually finding one, I've only ever found info on one and I can't find that fucker for the life of me. I've never not found a mark before him, it was actually really frustrating…" he said, talking more naturally and easily than he had before with most of his attention focused on something else. He could feel his heart racing as he read through the pages. The first few were just about Cain. How he had become a demon. That was actually interesting even if none of what he was learning would help him track the mother fucker. Cain was the only demon specifically named though. After the chapter on him, the book went on to explain how because of him it had become possible for a human to turn. And what had to happen to said human for something like that to happen and Izzy found that for the first time that he could remember, he was grateful for something. He was really fucking grateful that he couldn't remember being human. Because this shit sucked.

Dean relaxed his shoulders when the other didn’t point out how obviously awkward his mistake was. It must have happened quite a bit and it was obvious as to why. Though he didn’t dwell on it for too long after catching Izzy mutter under his breath. So Izzy knew about Lucifer and over half of Hell’s plans to free him. Not too many hunters really knew what was going on, just that demons had been kicking up a shit storm lately. He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the table Izzy was sitting on. He raised a brow when Izzy said he’d only found one and he couldn’t track him. “A mark?” He asked, not following him. “Do you think they could make more demons like that? I have a feeling they’d be a bitch in a fight.”

"Not a mark, my marks. Whatever demon I'm hunting at the time," Dean really did get kind of lucky that Izzy had found this book if he wanted to ask questions. The lithe demon was only half paying attention to whatever he was saying, basically only enough to make sure he didn't let the fact that he was one of these demons slip out. "Though he does actually have a mark that turned him in the first place. Didn't know that." Izzy nodded without hesitation at the other males next question though, "Definitely. Seriously time consuming and difficult, but not impossible. Looks like when it does happen, it's usually an accident. And they are definitely totally awesome in a fight. Stronger than a knight of hell but not quite as strong as a prince. And not easy to kill. Our knives won't kill one of them." The book didn't actually tell him that last part, he knew it from experience back when Asmodues was first training him. He had kinda lost his temper at the pretty little blond and actually fucking stabbed him with the same knife he now had hidden in his boot. All it did to the blond was piss him off though. It ruined the dress he was wearing and had left a nasty little scar in his side where he had been stabbed. "So unless you’re Cain with his first blade or have that Colt and bullets that you killed Azazel with, or yanno, a crazy person like me, I would avoid looking for one of them." He took in a deep breath as he slammed the book shut, trying to not let it be seen how incredibly fucking furious he was right now. Well, at least he knew why Asmodues was so keen on him not knowing how he turned. "So uh, yeah. Thanks for the info. Great fucking room ya got here. But I gotta go find a certain prince and tear his fucking head off somehow," Izzy said, his voice showing he obviously was not happy with what he just read if his words didn't give that part away. He was caring less and less about whatever fucking cover he was supposed to be playing here. He couldn't fully remember right now what he had let on that he knew about the man in the room with him but he no longer really cared. He pushed himself down from the table and went to move past Dean, "Nice to meet ya and all that shit and like, thanks for the help…" he paused for a moment to look at the hunter again, fuck it. Dean gave him access to the information he so desperately wanted, he figured he could return the favour with some info that Dean probably actually needed, "By the way, you really should probably get your brother away from Ruby because bitch has him all fucked up, pretty sure that people shouldn't actually be drinking demon blood the way he is. Pretty fucked up. So yeah. Gotta go."

“Oh they sound great,” Dean said when Izzy confirmed that more could be made this way. “Oh yea, awesome,” He shot back when Izzy went on about them and described them that way and mentioned that the knives were worthless against them. The only good thing that was mentioned was that apparently they were only ever made on accident and there were no rumored army’s full of them. He had noticed the others snapping of the book and the anger rolling off of him, clearly having read something he didn’t like. “Oh yea that sounds like a feasible plan, how do you plan on getting in Hel-?” He was cut off by the other male thanking him for the help. “Wait.” He said, not wanting the other to run off and get killed while half cocked. He didn’t get a chance to say anything else because what Izzy said after that shut him right up. “Wait, what the hell are you talking about?” He asked, his voice showing his own rising anger. “And how the hell do you know who he’s with?” He asked him. This ment Izzy knew who they were before he ran into him tonight. He started reaching for his pistol in a back holster without thinking much about it. “Who are you?” He asked, taking a step back and raising the fire arm.

Izzy rolled his eyes as Dean called after him when he turned and started to walk to the bunkers exit. If he did leave here right now, he really would go straight to the youngest prince and try and kill the fucker somehow. "Oh come on Dean, you're pretty and reckless but I didn't peg you for being stupid. I hunt demons. Ruby is a fucking demon. And your brother is running around with her. Do I really need to connect all the dots for you?" He stopped for a moment when he heard the click of the firearm and rolled his eyes again. Really? First time he ever tried to actually help someone else out and they pulled a gun on him. Not that Dean's pistol would actually hurt him, but he had been serious when he mentioned he liked this jacket. He didn't feel like throwing it out because of a bullet hole after he managed to actually keep it through the ambush.

He turned around and crossed his arms over his chest. "I was after her. I really can't fucking stand her. Unfortunately for me, your junkie brother was in the way and I couldn't get close enough without having to kill him first, and since I don't kill humans that wasn't exactly an option." He waved his hand at the pistole pointed at him, looking more annoyed that Dean was pointing it at him than anything else, "But I swear to fuck if you pull that trigger that'll change real fucking fast as I will slit your fucking throat." He wasn't reaching for the knife though, he wasn't scared of the gun and wouldn't pull it unless Dean actually did attack him first. After all, he didn't know the bullet wouldn't hurt him, he would definitely be trying to kill him and Izzy didn't take well to that happening. Threats were usually whatever, a dime a dozen when you did what he did, but actually trying to do it was another thing completely. "Now do you wanna play this game with me too or do you mind if I go now?"

Dean narrowed his eyes when Izzy said he hunted demons. He didn’t say anything for a minute after Izzy said all that and threatened retaliation by cutting his throat. His jaw was tense but he eased the hammer back and lowered his gun. He didn’t like anything he had said. He just knew Izzy was keeping something from him but… he was telling the truth about his brother and Dean hated it. He kept his hard eyes on the blond as he put his gun back in his holster and he pulled out a small piece of paper from his back pocket and grabbed a forgotten pen on the table. He didn't say anything as he quickly jotted something down, folded it and handed it to him. “In case you do something stupid like take on a prince of hell and want back up,” he said, his voice was quiet and calm. His reboiling rage wasn’t aimed at the blond any more so he tried to keep it from exploding on him. He had seen what he could do with that knife of his.

The anger at the hunter seemed to dissipate when he withdrew his weapon and put it back in the holster. Smart move, because the little demon had been deadly fucking serious about retaliation if he tried to shoot him. When Dean handed him that paper and said that, Izzy couldn't stop the confused look that crossed his face. Seriously? We both just threatened to kill the other and Dean was offering to back him up again a second later? What the fuck went on in human fucking heads? He really didn't understand them at all. Especially this one. And this happened to be the first one he spent any length of time with. "Right. Not gonna happen, but thanks? The backup thing. The prince thing is totally happening." After nearly sixty years around Asmodeus, Izzy didn't hold any fear of him. The prince needed Izzy and they both knew it. Besides, that was a long time to spend with anyone, and since the prince had wanted Izzy a secret until he was ready he had been the one Izzy trained with most often before he started throwing demon chum his way to practice with. Izzy knew that mans every fucking move.

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hopeless-namjin · 7 years

Photo

And now waffles... and I just barely missed getting a bit of Nan in the picture ha ha

#Hel's cooking adventures #yeas this will be a tag now #I'm bored okay #I'm just making the waffles #I haven't gotten to eat them yet #and Nan is doing IBFY so she isn't looking at me #sigh #Hel'ish nonsense

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ghostwinchesters · 6 years

Note

my fave thing about sam is his big fat impressive-- heart :^)

jesus christ judah

want a blog rate

#i love youuu #jo does blog rates #not spn #sahwen #asks #boyyy i just realized u didn't rb the blog rates post smh

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ubelyptus · 6 years

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soooooooooooo bb,,,...,.,,,strawberrry.

......I JUST FIND IT

interestinggggggggg

how you Big mad cuz MY block game seeems

skrong or summn

hanh???

oh.

well.

i never blockedt you

on snapchat

or whatsapp (you weren’t even muted),

yup, i still haven’t

but i didn’t have a properly working phone...

still......don’t

but either way you keep threatening to split on me

like a weapon…fcking

manipulative as shit

it just seems to me that you just want to?

you never imprinted tho

but she did

so why should you?

i won’t ever, again, fight....

….with you.

my favorite accomplice

i wanted to learn with an open mind

even after my phone died

how to remain soft with you.

even after being callled

“old news"

pffft

at least until

i ‘m eventually murdered by a cisgender man...

but

don’t fckn

pppppppop shit

cuz like….. literally…..all i did was change my url.

shit, i Only blockedt you AFTER i saw you referencing gaslighting.

bc uhmm IIIIIIif that is about meeeeeeeeeeee

ha!!!

how fucking dare you.…..lyk....wuhh?

like when you said there is no difference between syn and alesia?????

HANH?

oh, but you think i blockedt you first bc i didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt?

….mhhhhhhh. ok.

seeems odd since you’re not liar

right, eli????

but,,,,,so what’s this about the cozi password change? am i just shifting too rapidly between your and my reality???

bet.

no, i blocked you on things after THAT

AND THAT WAS TODAY

oh, and didn’t your friend, my so-called “fighting buddy,” anan…

.just,,,,,fckn block me like i’m useless

trash

randomnly

after all

i asked

was that they

not speak to me

about you?

but YAAAAAAS twas ONLY Me and simply Myself and just i

who ain’t wanna get….hurt.

hanh?????

oh ,

obvi,

yeaaaaaaa

yeeeei

truuuu,

sooooo

sssssorry,,,,but

calling me “old news” or saying i’m “old too”

don’t forget your girl is 2 yrs older than you

and then staying silent for these few days about changing passwords

that..... already did that, boo

at least i sent alesia third party emails thru the app, boo

she pushin 30 and can only talk you

venuse....????. no....a

talking and

w a l k i ng tragedy

entyway don’t bring that up just to be loud and wrong about that too

you’re not always wrong tho, you know

you’d probably fuck up and slit my throat

powertripping

when i’m wrong about you

and you can only do that if you

black and white

me out

to NEVER BE WRONG

AND I DO

ACTUALLLY HATE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!!!

WHY CAN’T I EVER BE WRONG, ELI????

WHY????//

OH your emotions....? about your father that after 6 yrs you didn’t tell me about?

your reality? when you have a habit of projecting?

and lowkey being dishonest

to yourself first

and then subsequently

to me????

your time? when i’m mostly on yours?????

your efforts? like ripping up notes and telling me

“my turn” to get fucked

by you

was over

when the only reason i was tiredt

was bc i crashed

too tiredt after explaining to You

that

i‘m not even going to LET you play middleman

for a baby pushign 30????

oh. bet.

but since we’re being transparent:

here are receipts with timestamps:

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-hop-hop

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop+hop+bun

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-bunny

yea you must love dirty laundry

oh.

but that’s what i knew about you.

oh:

be yr own guest my love

i Knew you would ignore the “old news” message since that's literally when you started telling on yourself

you do treat trans partners

like side hoes,

thasssa wholeBET

and some change

for you to create

cuz thassssssss

how you feel about me fr fr

so that “like” is mine but

i…..actually really Really love that you laughed tho.

bc i haven’t heard you fully belly laugh in a long time.

if ever iirh.

even after knowing you for 6+ years,

your supposed “first friend “ in the DMV

the person i can trust my life with

the only

you’re my only...

,,,,,even after i spiraled

and cut myself for the first time since middle school?

now my friends are fucking spotting you

and talking to each other

about you

oh, you didn’t know.

but i got mehndi done today

let a summer baby boy

love

a cut up

by me

body

before noon

today

thinking i’d see you and we could talk like,,,,

…..like real people do.

and you’d be distracted by the design and not zone in

on the failed cuts

on my wrist

since i’m shit at not just repeatedly carving into

white meat

when i can only use a ceramic blade

i just didn’t WANT you to

so i never “came home to [you]”

you said that on nov 4th/5th of last year

and

i’ve been looking up bpd all day

eventho i told you

i don’t trust the internet

sooooo you not telling me

didn’t hel p

but it’snot at all your job to

and i sitll

stilllstil stil stilllca’t see

....and i dind’t want you to see.

bc i’m not just a man.

i’m still femme

which you seem to love to forget

and still soft enough, i think.....

i hope…..or learning to be soft,,,,

where it won’t get me killed,,,,,

but where it still counts.

with…or without you.

either way i’m a man who loves you. a man whose phone died at 28% trying to get you to see that i was trying to be soft even after you called me

“old news”

but,,,,,.....,,,compared to …..who?????? sh....oooo??????

your new girlfriend who is 1 or 2 years older than you?????

and can’t speak to me

a man who is only barely out of 23???

and instead only whispers

to you?????

bruh, she’s clearly not fond of me.

and you’re not a liar ,

so don’t

she had to tell you that she wasn’t the one putting out “aggy energy”

specifically

during yennayer which

i ruined

and im still sorru

but which means

she’s probably done it in your apartment on purpose already, boo

didn’t think of that, did you

lingustically.,,,,,nope.

oh, but there’s power in a whisper, darling.

i am just cardinal like you

i am air too.

i should know

bc i accidentally whistled....and,,,,,,

i only blockedt you so that you wouldn’t “hurt [your] own feelings”

like you told anan you sometimes do.

sooooooooooooo yea... i

did it so you wouldn’t hurt you.

as cardinal water/pisces moons

are prone to do.

you can;t drain

and you can’t drown

ain’t that how i affirmed you

i already hurt me

when i dissociated

and i’m STILL FUCKING sorry

that there was blood that you had to see.

i couldn’t stay in my body long enough to clean fast enough

but i still didn’t want you to hurt you bc of me.

like you did repeatedly

bc of bpd or bc of basically cishet or at least cis ~queer girls

or other partners

like when you were with kat,

who’s still disgustingly attached to a messy white

and now a new black kid.....

or with shushoo.

and how you might with alesia.

no, correction: how you have with alesia.

how you will continue to, if you’re not careful, with alesia.

you’re a lion facing a prince of a house kitten ,....,

.,, who is homeless.

do you feel good, big boss?

all i asked was for you to listen t

o how you were speaking to me

on the phone

at your place of work

and when she’s there

possibly a place of worshiop

..... even after i told you

that i was intentionally putting energy into Not fighting you

and you

say you

"don’t wanna be a middle person"

but you also….wanna cape for yet another fucking cis girl.

who isn’t even muslim this time.

HOWtragic.

i couldn’t laugh

couldn’t ever laugh at sway

bc by whatever fortune if you do split or don’t

i still love you

i love you too much

but in those moments after that phone call….

after my phone died…

and my body couldn’t move to charge it.

wouldn’t move….

and all i could do was cry during the adhan.

bc you’re tooo much like matt now

i wish i knew what it could feel like to

hate someone

who called you

"OLD NEWS”

compared to a bitch pushing 30

youza WHOLE fuckn clown, dawg.

matt did this same shit

move me out for a new side bitch

yet anotehr cis

look at how cute trans love can be

no,

this is what you give me:

laughter.

BC what fucking luck.

BUT IT’S gotta be TROOF

s ince you don’t lie?/?

shit I LAUGHED TOO:

it sounds like….

NEITHER OF US

KNEW WHAT COULD

HAVE BROUGHT US

HERE, ELI.

maybe you nursing poison in your own home

and telling me i’m making you feel unwelcomed

on a blog and not to my face did it

fuckingggggggggg. why’ald.

you think it’s too much sweat????? false.

that apartment stayed cold.

too many tears?

ok ok yea troof.

but too much love? forreal?

we?????

ooooop

hoooop!!!

oh, you speakin’ french now. our collective colonizers tongue in 20gayteeeeeeeen?????

CAN’T RELATE

bc I’M TOOOOOO GAY

wow. we ruined it, fam???? fr fr?

nah, chosen fam.

you ruined us.

you ruined us over:

a cis girl and

your own impatience

and your own anger.

and my slow brain and my slow body

i’m not sure she’d find you from maryland

if you dissociated bc your other semi

but not

girlfriend emotionally abused you

until people who didn’t know you were muslim

thought you were fucking drunk

and you fucking stilllllll

work with her?????

why couldn’t you just wait until she found a new job???

ain’t she trying????

or izzzzzz she??????

hahhnh???

where was the damn rush?????

you’re like two goofy high schoool kids

reaching for the quickest nuts every 6 hours

like jesus fuck.

you’re irresponsible as shit telling me i’m a grown man making grown decisions and i see this

?????

unREASONABLE, ELI.

this isn’t a situation of a kettle calling a pot black

babe

bc i’m actually Black

and you’re not

but she’s black too.

what did i tell you:

"you datin’ two whole Niggas. if you fight me over her, you will lose either way.”

but instead you called me “obtuse”

SAT words for me

but not for you…….what.,,,.,,,,,,,, fckn luck……..

what luck,,,,,that the one person who housed me consistently

and kept me alive

when i trusted no one

would call me "old news”

and let their cis girlfriend

turn herself into your

personal "healing” …...

sibkid. \\\\

howTragic like all of CC’18

you know what happens when you slip and get sloppy and let a baby bitch be responsible for your healing?

she leaves.

for a real bitch

with microhealing abilities,

GOOFY.

she worships a new goddess every friday?????

well, i know only of orixas

and only of black power

but from what i know of goddesses OFF of OUR continent…

soooon...

at least one of them WILL want a soul from her

just letting you know it might not have to be hers.

…..OH!

and when i chargedt and openedt my phone after days of wandering. ….the last messages from you are:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID “LEAVE [[[[MMMMMYYYYYYY]]]]]] KEYS”

like a fucking baby.

imagine that.

even to you, i’m still a whore.

out…the…bakc….dooor.

??????

i couldn’t even work a john when i wanted to

if i was sad about you.

but imagine?????

a cis-pixie woman older than you

letting you treat her like a child?????

then

imagine me feeling shamed into leaving

bc of pictures of your smiling face

after i cut myself and felt shame

that

in your unwelcomed to both me and you

BLOOD

blood

is what brings me back

to life.

how.

fucking.

why’yald.

i blockedt you so that you didn’t lurk.

bc THat is what you do.

instead of speaking with me,

you seem to have expected me

to read your blog back 7 years.

and just know all of the fatherly things that trigger you.

like…even during the times when i was afraid of my own phone and laptop for 2 months bc of my sister, brother, and birth parents????

funny how i’m the youngest of us “grown folks” and yet still find that really

FUCKING

immature.

of YOU

to do

you really never knew me, or did you…..??

you donated to me before you even knew me.

so i know your heart has parts made of gold.

but now you show off your crystals and your gold.~~~

yep.

here we are.

you’ve "only every seen [me] as a boy.”

ok. bet.

and unti this post:

i’ve hardly heard you refer to me as a man.

so:

ain’t you late?

ain’t you late, babe??

ain’t you late?

i’m a year younger than you.

which means if you grown

i musta BEEN a man too, boo.

but you’ll always be

my favorite accomplice

and always be my favorite friend too.

but you cannot think you can play me by calling me

“old too” or “old news"

for young fish who is basically femme trade

and thinking i won’t cut open a fool.

which coincidentally always happens to be me

she’s hardly out to anybody important and lying at work too.

i must be bigger fool.

bc you knew better and didn’t do better.

but i’m being immature.

ok ...,.,,.,,

cute.

your pisces moon is keeping you from seeing clearly but that’s what young water seems…to do. to much light reflected; tho it is a fountain of youth.

she’s pushing 30 baby

but true, you’re her boo.

yea, a childish boo.

you ever wonder why her playlist from you had more songs than ours did?

why she can never keep a man around for valentines day?

oh but don’t you love “patterns”, baby????

unless it’s her leaving shit around the apartment

or her triggering you

or her treating your dick like it’s foreign,

even to you.

my gay ass was shookedt

when you told me you voluntarily

triggered yourself

for her kitty too

but i AM

a grown man

who is “running” from….you

you think that statement is not…. dishonest??

you really think that statement is true???

—

i didn’t run. i just

needed space

and you afforded me none.

you couldn’’t afford it.

february is before march which is before april

sooooooo it’s always a tight month ain’t it???????

oooooooh but you afforded her plenty.

she gets to take off her fucking pants while i try to figure out if i should move from a spot next to you….

on your fucking bed.

she took off her pants to climb near you before she could even say hi to

nooonoo

ahh right

and THEN ME.

“Oh, you CAN stay”

that’s what She told me.

and you said nothing.

so i left….the room.

i never run.

you pushed me out with your captain save-a-cis silence.

it’s violence.

and

you’re still pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing

until me…you know

i, the "old news”

just feels like he should just

fucking fall

onto the district streets

and she finds it

to her fucking fancy

to fall

into your lap

like a damn,,,,zel.

distressedt.

with a roof over her head outside of your apartment too.

woooooooops!

yip, as she is probably prone to do.

her kind….isn’t new….boo.

her kind isn’t new to me

her kind isn’t new to you

you ever wonder why she feels so familiar to you?

she reminds Me of the girl who told you

she could never marry you

and is now trying to date someone just like you

so don’t be so unkind to me

or to you

or be so foolish

as to believe i gave up on you

you gave up on me

and on top of that

you think i just...ran

ran….with what clothing?

the ones you packed up for me and left at the door

that i was suppose to pick up

and slide out the back….like a fucking whore?

you just tryna be

a cissie's bae

who stay clownin on trans folks now?

oooooooh issa bet, mo

. i mean.,,,.,,.mhhhh i guess?

—==—

but troooof, i don’t “need" anybody.

but i want you.

but you need her.

that’s how it work, don’t it?????

that’s why you risk job security every day.

and let her leave her panties on my clothes.

and let her tell me i "can stay" in …..A, not MY, spot next to you

in yo'bed?

what fucking fools. the two of you.

but “no one is forcing [me] to"

oh, baby you /are/ forcing me too

i look on your blog and then find out you’ve been feeling “unwelcome in [your] own home”

this whole fucking time

all the way since early november, innit?????

if i love you at all,

what else am i to do?????????????

??????????????????????????/

know that you will self-destruct

and just…wait for you to????????????????????

???????????????????????????????/

i didn’t run.

you just fucking pushed me.

and you’re still fucking pushing.

and you’ll keep pushing.

bc that is what you do.

embe…..@strawberreli

se sá’m te konne nu’ou.

you like microblogging so much

so like it if you read this shit

#ritten #pisces tw #solar cancer cw #cutting cw #self harm cw

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withasideofeggsy · 7 years

Text

Get To Know Me Tag!

I was tagged by @mint-kook

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag 20 blogs you would like to know better

1.Nickname(s): Hel, Salt Queen (Thanks to my coworkers), Melon (My name is Helen)

2. Gender: Female

3. Star Sign: Libra!

4. Height: 5′4.5

5. Time: 1:06 AM

6. Birthday: One day before but one year after Jimin! (October 12/96)

7.Favourite Band(s): BTS, GOT7, ToppDogg, Panic! At The Disco, Twenty One Pilots, Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Bon Jovi, 5SOS (I was obsessed but the members started to become jerks so I’m like byee but I loved their music) (Sorry I have so many favourites!)

8. Favourite solo artist: Sia, David Guetta (Does he apply here?)

9. Song Stuck in my head: As If It’s Your Last - BLACKPINK

10. Last movie watched: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

11. Last show watched: Bob’s Burger

12. When did I create my blog: 2012? Long time but I haven’t been active until recently.

13. What do I post: Crap. LOL. Currently for GOT7 but very soon for BTS!

14. Last thing I googled: David Guetta, wondering if he could apply in the solo artist section for this tag. LOL.

15. Do you have other blogs: Yea but I don’t use it! @umhaleyes I wanted to write for Teen Wolf but that never happened haha

16. Do you get asks: Not much. Maybe a couple after an update but I hope I get more in the future! Ya girl is lonely.

17. Why did you choose your url: Why or How? Why because I need to in order to use Tumblr but y’know LOL. I was originally a Kingsman blog with the url eggsyimagines but it was boring so I’m now with a side of eggs(y)! I don’t post Kingsman stuff anymore, I’m that weird blog that just suddenly turned into a Kpop blog but I can’t find it in me to change my url cause it’s so cuteee.

18. Following: 82

19. Followers: 1258

20. Favourite colors: I don’t like saying pink but it’s pink. I usually lie and say red but after Jin I’m so proud...I LOVE PINKKK. Also gold, and mint.

21. Average hours of sleep: It changes like crazy. If it’s during school 0-4, if it’s summer I get like 9-12?

22. Lucky Number: 8 (I’m Chinese what do you expect?)

23. Instruments?: I’m an untalented potato. I played the trombone from elementary till senior year of high school. I have a guitar but I suck so...

24. What am I wearing: A The Walking Dead t-shirt and anchor boxers! (My pjs)

25. How many Blankets I sleep with: 2, one fleecy and one made of silk with down feathers...I’m so sorry birdies I had this since I was practically born.

26. Dream Job: Set designer for media production! I really hope to work for Marvel one day or any movie set ahh. I’m currently in university for interior design/architecture with a furniture design minor so I might get there some day!

27. Dream Trip: JAPANNN! ALL THE FOODS, SUSHI, AND ANIME SIGN ME UP. And also Europe (Greece in particular) but I accomplished that! But I do hope to go again!

28. Favourite Food: Sushi, pizza, salad, fries, fried chicken, instant noodles, seafood in general esp if it’s raw, poutine, curry fish balls, takoyaki...the list can go on!

29. Nationality: Canadian! (Have you noticed I added a “u” to all the “favorite”s in this tag? woooooo

30. Favourite song now: That’s hard... Run - BTS has been one of my favourites, and atm Rainy Day - ToppDogg, but recently I’ve been listening to Cheer Up - Twice a lot because I’m sad and that song makes me really happy!

PEOPLE I TAG: My heart can’t handle rejection so I’m not tagging anyone specifically. I TAG YALLLLLLL!

#get to know me #tag

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spidrmanz · 7 years

Text

🌻rules: once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag.

thank you @obiwanenobi for tagging me!!

🌻 I’M TAGGING…

Literally anybody who wants to I swear

answers under the cut :^)

🌻LAST…

[1] drink: fruit punch

[2] phone call: my mom lol

[3] text message: “”yes lmao okay”

[4] song you listened to: out of my limit- 5sos

[5] time you cried: yikes a couple nights ago

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: yes… but it was in like 7th grade so does it count?

[7] been cheated on: no

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: nope (haven’t kissed anyone)

[9] lost someone special: yes

[10] been depressed: ive felt sad but not rly officially ?

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nahh

🌻 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] light pink

[13] light blue

[14] pastel purple

🌻 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: yeaa

[16] fallen out of love: no ? idk

[17] laughed until you cried: yessss

[18] found out someone was talking about you: fucK yeah lmao what a story

[19] met someone who changed you: eh not rly i dont think

[20] found out who your true friends are: lmao yes

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: no ?

🌻 GENERAL…

[22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them except 1 ive never met them (its my cousin lmfao)

[23] do you have any pets: yea!! A puppers

[24] do you want to change your name: i used to but i learned to like my name

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: had 2 of my best friends come over and we chilled and made a song lol

[26] what time did you wake up: 11 ? i think

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching youtube videos

[28] name something you cannot wait for: DISNEY THIS SUMMER

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: shes a foot away from me so like right now

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: gimme a bf or a gf i

[31] what are you listening to right now: The Island on the TV

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i dont think so tbh,, wow

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: waiting

[34] most visited website: tumblr lmao

[35] elementary: ???? what ?????

[36] high school: im a junior rn and its not that bad hasnt been that bad idk im very eh about it im ready to be a senior

[37] college: not there yet but fu ck its too expensive i know

[38] hair colour: its black rn but my natural color is dark brown but im hoping to dye it light brown soon

[39] long or short hair: medium? But im gonna cut it

[40] do you have a crush on someone: hel l yes

[41] what do you like about yourself: good question (my eyes)

[42] piercings: two in my left ear, three in my right ear, i want my nose done

[43] blood type: O- or + i dont remember

[44] nickname: ally (a couple ppl call me al)

[45] relationship status: single dang

[46] zodiac sign: gemini

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav TV show: spn/teen wolf/bobs burgers

[49] tattoos: none but i wanT so bad i know what my first ones gonna be already

[50] right or left handed: right

🌻 FIRST…

[51] surgery: none

[52] piercing: my ears

[53] best friend: i think her name was Hayley

[54] sport: baseball or cheerleading idr

[55] vacation: disney world

[56] pair of trainers: idk what trainers are theyre either pants or shoes if theyre pants then idk probably baby sweatpants and if theyre shoes then idk probably like light up baby sketchers or something

🌻 RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: just ate a burrito but im aboutta eat some ice cream yeet

[58] drinking: nothing rn

[59] I’m about to: idk scroll on tumblr and watch this movie

[60] listening to: The Island

[61] waiting for: spring break

[62] want: a bf dang

[63] get married: i wanna but im in no rush rly (also im only 16 ndjshfsk)

[64] career: catch me w that best actress oscar!

🌻 WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs probs

[66] lips or eyes: omg i dont know,,,, lips

[67] shorter or taller: taller

[68] older or younger: older

[69] romantic or spontaneous: fucc spontaneous

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: SHOOT another hard question forearms are so good but abs r so !!!

[71] sensitive or loud: why not both?

[72] hook up or relationship: lma girl i tried that hookup thing it didnt work so relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: dang,, troublemaker w limits and boundaries

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger: noo

[75] drank hard liquor: yes

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: yes

[77] turned someone down: hAh yes

[78] sex on first date: ive never no

[79] broken someone’s heart: i really dont know

[80] had your own heart broken: yeaaa

[81] been arrested: no omg

[82] cried when someone died: yes

[83] fallen for a friend: sorta

🌻 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself: shoot man idk this is deep

[85] miracles: maybe

[86] love at first sight: not rly (i believe in attraction @ first sight which can lead to wanting to get to know someone)

[87] santa claus: not since i was like 9 lol

[88] kiss on the first date: depends on the person tbh

[89] angels: no

🌻 OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: i have a few but rn im gonna say Madelyn

[91] eye colour: green

[92] favourite movie: get ready,, catws, vacation, aotc, the jungle book (new) and eclipse are some

#thanks jordan!#not marvel #ask game answers

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