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googledocsdyke · 3 years

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Do you have any thoughts/recommended texts for Cas analysis? I genuinely love the dean gender studies and I just wanna know what people might apply to Cas.

yes absolutely!! while dean studies is my first love i also deeply love cas analysis (casnalysis?) and wanna strive to do more of it. here’s some stuff off the top of my head:

1. gender, sexuality, heavenly embodiment

this is much more theological and less psychological than dean’s whole Deal because there’s so much fascinating stuff around how the angels in general experience express and conceptualise gender (@autisticandroids has a good post about angel gender & lily sunder has some regrets) but for cas in particular there’s this fascinating kind of collective fandom agreement (which i DO also agree with) that cas’ own gender kind of is gay man, that he actively chose gay manhood, but also that he’s kind of..... lacking the Insane Genderishness that dean exhibits at all times, even though he actively chose to engage in male gendering and became so comfortable housed Within Jimmy that he, as some post i saw the other day that i can’t find anymore said, “became his own body” when jimmy died.

like on the one hand there’s an almost-canonical transness to the whole process but it also never feels fully written-into because 1) the supernatural writers for all their insanity are sometimes very boring and *most* of the time only feel interested in narratively expressing angels As Their Vessels anyways and just like leaving convenient spaces around these questions (boldest thing they ever did was hot girl cas which i WISH i had the range to unpack) 2) there’s a vague inevitabilist shrug to the whole thing since they obviously weren’t gonna recast misha collins (though they HAVE tried to get rid of him) and 3) something amorphous about cas’ entire..... personhood? makes him Empty Of Gender as a contrast to dean’s Full Of Gender (i believe it was @deanwinchestergender who said this) and like is it just the juxtaposition to dean/jensen’s whole insane Deal? or something else?

like he actively chooses the terms of his own embodiment and yet narratively it feels like a shrug. and we’re all like “well obviously even though he’s a celestial being he was always a gay man” and like WHY. i love it idk idk much to think about! and yeah just in general the theological questions of possession and cas genuinely Becoming a man as he iterates himself consciously towards humanity it almost feels like. by doing the most boring things possible with his gender they made it interesting? idk if that makes sense.

2. discipline, free will, metanarratives

cas is like a tool (“i am not a hammer, as you say”) held in constant discipline and surveillance by the system that enmeshes him and it’s really, really fascinating to watch the way the angels hold each other to conformity. especially pre-god they kind of produce each other as foucauldian disciplinary subjects (which i posted about here) in perpetual visibility through angel radio, generating their own and each other’s conformity rather than being directly ruled through like a single centralised source of power. only the spectre of a god. and obviously cas’ whole thing is that he has ALWAYS disobeyed and the narrative affords him this psychological interiority never given to the foucauldian subject, an internal will and desire for freedom in a way that fits more with the liberal subject (super roughly and not with the same pro-capitalist implications but he has this internal drive for self-liberation.

and that’s also where the metanarrative comes in ofc! i think it was @dykecas who said that cas is a real person written by people who hate him, and there’s this crack in the narrative (mirroring the crack in his chassis) where cas gets in, over and over, despite all the order imposed by the show’s authorfathergod. like we’ve all seen the analysis about how it was Never supposed to be this way they DID try to fire misha collins in 2012 and yet this gay man literally cannot be stopped! i think actually his appearance in scoobynatural is a neat little distillation of this — he drops into this animated world originally with a singular purpose (Save Sam And Dean) the same way he dropped into lazarus rising with a single 3-episode arc (Save Dean). huge hammer behaviour. his “utility” diminishes within the narrative (he finds that he can’t fly in the scooby doo universe) and so he is no longer a tool/means to an end that salvation moves Through. and in the process (and huge creds to @lesbianyuugi for this) he does something ENTIRELY unrelated to his original cas-as-tool aim, and learns, like, the meaning of laughter from shaggy and scooby. WHICH brings me onto the third point

3. love, queer kinship, family-making

HE’S GAY AND HE’S A DAD! i feel like a lot of tumblr throws around the term “found family” in a very flat and tropey way (which is fine it’s cute and fun no matter what!) but like . GOD there’s so much specific stuff going on here. like the way that cas (unintentionally) obliterates the midwestern white christian nuclear family (made incarnate in the novaks) which like could be uniformly portrayed as an act of deep malice and villainy but instead grows to serve as a surrogate (if imperfect/complex, but DEEPLY loving) father figure for the gay daughter who has now escaped that nuclear family/seen it destroyed depending on how you read it? like he remasters the entire concept of fatherhood and it’s a very interesting (if DEEPLY) unintentional subversion of the homewrecking non-nuclear gay trope. cas is so good because his character arc doesn’t say “look, gay people can be normal and have perfect settled families just like you” it says “gay people DON’T have normal settled families actually and they are full of love anyways! or Because of the abnormalcy itself!)

to cite ziz lesbianyuugi again he DOES queer fatherhood in his parenting of jack particularly because it really is one of the ONLY parent-child relationships in the show that breaks the incessant cycle of abuse and control and cold indifference perpetuated by the authorfathergod (a cycle reified in 15x20 lol). like god’s treatment of cas and his siblings mirrors john’s treatment of sam and dean (particularly dean) mirrors victor’s treatment of krissy and her crew mirrors dean’s later treatment of jack. there is a CONSTANT reiteration of the story of authorfathergod (often a father tightly entwined in biological kinship) treating a child as a mechanism or a tool or a means to an end. and cas looks at ALL that he has suffered and all that he is ever known and chooses constantly to reject it with every piece of love he expresses for his child. and not to sound like the kind of academic people make fun of on twitter but there is an INHERENT queerness to that. gay love will pierce through [the veil of death/the thick silence of abuse/the mechanism of godly control/hegemonic american masculinity] and save the day

anyways here are some very haphazard recs on everything above for further reading:

angels in america (tony kushner)

histrionics of the pulpit: trans tonalities of religious enthusiasm

the public universal friend: religious enthusiasm in revolutionary america

discipline and punish (michel foucault)

friendship as a way of life (michel foucault)

the genesis of blame (recommended by @pietacastiel who has GREAT theology content in general

all about love (bell hooks)

the chapter “when hated characters talk back” in anti-fandom: dislike and hate in the digital age (is actually explicitly about cas)

also cannot recommend enough following the ppl i tagged above!! most of the unlinked stuff is available through http://libgen.li/ and bookshop is a good alternative to amazon if ur american and want physical copies

#thank you so much for this ask it was a delight to answer #spn #casnalysis #making a tag officially #gendernatural #long post

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waywardwrestlewritingwaif · 4 years

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Shelter (Part Five)

And here it is, the grand finale! Originally, this was actually a little longer but I finally decided that the last part I had in mind didn’t really add enough to the story to warrant including it. I think this ending is better. I also think the story is long enough as it is. I’m pretty happy at how quickly I was able to get this done, considering that I’ve been wrapped up in other (non-writing) things recently. I’m going to put it down to feeling inspired by seeing my delicious rat bastard in the G1.

Pairing: Jay White x OFC

Word count: 3,841

Content advisory: Smut! Nothing too much beside that other than some significant angst

Alone in my damp little rooms, I did my best to hide the sounds of the sobs that overwhelmed me. I didn't want to give anyone, him most of all, the satisfaction of knowing that I'd been broken.

It was true that my life had some worth: my father would not let me die a prisoner of another noble if only because it would make him look weak. But if what I'd heard from my sister's servants was true, then she had lied to me and brought me here as a pawn, a cover for her plot. She was the person I had loved most in my life and she had lied to me and put me in danger. Given that I had run away in the dead of night, I doubted my husband would want anything further to do with me. So if I were ransomed, I would live the rest of my life under the strict control of my family. My future lay either as a despised nuisance banished to a few rooms of the family home or as an embarrassment packed off to a convent. I had never known what it was like to feel truly alone until that night.

I felt rage building in me towards all of them- my parents, Elizabeth, her husband, their servants who refused to exonerate me, and most of all towards Jay White. Whatever intrigue had happened with him and my family, I had been blissfully unaware until I had crossed paths with him. I understood that he had only revealed the rot that was in my life but I could not stop from seeing him as the source of my problems. He must have done something to force my family to embark on such a reckless plan. Elizabeth only used me because she was desperate, I told myself. He was the monster.

I tried not to think about the fact that he had been right about a plot against him, or about me being used as a distraction because my sister knew he had once had feelings for me. Most of all, I tried not to think about what had happened the night before, about the hours I had laid awake remembering his touches, the beauty of his body, and the passion he'd awakened in me. He'd done it to make it hurt that much more when he made me beg for the lives of the others. It had meant nothing to him and I fought to have it mean nothing to me.

Strangely, in the days that followed the departure of my companions, I was afforded a great deal more freedom. One of the guards accompanied me on walks around the grounds, allowing me to breathe fresh air for the first time in what felt like years. Millicent was practically my personal maid and I was allowed to explore certain areas of the castle. I particularly enjoyed being able to read through some of the beautiful books that Jay had commissioned from a nearby monastery, mostly works of philosophy. I took some pleasure in teaching Millicent to read so that she might enjoy the texts herself. After a couple of weeks, I was moved from the sad little corner of the palace in which I’d spent my time there to a proper set of rooms with a real fireplace, a real bed and a sitting room where I could take my meals. The door was still locked when I was not accompanied by a guard but I couldn’t deny that I was a great deal more comfortable. I hesitated to admit even to myself that the rooms were cleaner and in better condition than much of the home I shared with my husband. It was clear that Jay was better off, something that I hadn’t expected. I wondered if this was something that Elizabeth and the rest of my family realized since the old Earl had not been especially wealthy for one of his status.

I tried to avoid Jay as much as possible, seeking to avoid the feelings he stirred in me. I assured myself that the amelioration in my treatment was due only to the fact that I had become a commodity of some value. Like cattle or sheep, I was something he could sell to the right buyers and the right buyers were the people who I had always believed loved and treasured me. At first, I was successful, however the more I took advantage of my newly granted freedoms, the more I seemed to find my way to him.

On one afternoon, while I was out walking under guard, enjoying the colours of the autumn landscape, we encountered him on the way back from inspecting his troops on the marches. A haughty demeanor flowed from him as he looked down on us from atop his horse that made me feel a burning in my chest and I refused to look at him.

“How nice that you’re enjoying the air,” he declared, more to my guard than to me. “But be careful of this one. She’s not to be trusted.”

At that, my eyes snapped to his. I wanted to tear the arrogant bastard from his horse. Instead, I spit back at him, “A rich statement coming from you.”

He gave a cruel laugh and continued back towards the castle. My guard and I continued to walk in silence and the entire time, I felt the fire in me build at his casual remark. I struggled not to think of him but my mind continually returned to the look on his face, the obvious way in which he sought to provoke me. Even after I returned to my chambers I was seething and wanted nothing more than to confront him. When Millicent shyly entered, as she always did when she brought me dinner, I frightened her by rushing towards her just out of the frustration I felt at being cooped up.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry,” she squeaked, curling her body away from me. She carried no trays as she usually did and she seemed extremely afraid of what I might do.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. My mind is preoccupied and it was a nervous reaction, nothing more. You’ve done nothing to vex me or warrant abuse.”

“Thank you ma’am,” she stammered. “I’ve just been sent to tell you that the Master has requested you to have dinner with him, in his chambers.”

“Not in the dining hall?”

“Oh no, ma’am. That’s only used for great events. He always takes his meals alone, unless it’s a night when…”

“When he’s drinking with his friends and entertaining whores,” I huffed. The periodic decadent nights were something I’d certainly noticed, starting with my arrival. The presence of such women, the knowledge that Jay delighted in their company, made me angry beyond my capacity to express. I tried to convince myself that it was my revulsion that a noble of my stature could sink so low. However, I knew in my heart that it was jealousy, unbridled jealousy, that these women got to have him in a way I couldn’t.

Millicent curled back into herself, blushing. “I’ve just been told to bring you to him, ma’am.”

My heart hurt seeing her like this and I reached forward, holding her cheek in my hand. “You are blameless, my sweet girl. You have made my time here more than just bearable. If I seem harsh, it is nothing to do with you. I only wish that, wherever I might go, that I could take you with me.”

She started to cry and I held her to me until she had recovered herself. I then allowed her to guide me to Jay’s apartments, where I was apparently to dine with him.

His rooms were, of course, luxuriously appointed, but even more so than I might have imagined. Once again, I was struck by the display of wealth that, while not ostentatious, was more than I would have thought possible in his circumstances.

The man himself sat at a round table with plates of cured meats and cheeses, along with decanters of wine. As soon as I entered, I felt his lupine eyes lock on me, and my breathing quickened. I took my seat opposite him, still shivering from the chill his stare induced in me, keeping my head turned towards the door even after we were left alone.

He remained silent until I finally looked at him, shamed at how I cowered under his gaze.

“Since when are you so quiet?” he gloated, taking a gulp of wine and pushing a full glass to me.

“Since I understood that my life means nothing,” I snapped, grabbing the glass and emptying it in one gulp. “Since I became aware that I was a commodity like gold or cattle to be used as a commodity in your political games.”

“I suppose I should remind you that it was your choice that I should treat you as such.”

“It was not my choice,” I retorted, grabbing the wine and refilling my glass only to drain it once again. “I merely pointed out that you could use me according to how you already perceived me. You’ve made it clear that I am nothing to my family but a pawn they wish to retain. I have spent my whole life loving people who only wanted to use me in some political gain. I already know that my husband rhinos nothing of me and his family will have no interest in retrieving some fool who abandoned them for no reason. And as for you…” my eyes narrowed as I focused on him, “I am a trinket you can sell, nothing more.”

Once again, I grabbed the wine and poured myself a full glass that was quickly pushed down my throat. Jay and I glared at each other in a standoff until the butler arrived with our main course, a roast with vegetables and potatoes that made me weak with hunger.

The manservant carved away a portion for both of us and while I fought to maintain eye contact with my gaoler, the moment the servants had retreated, I greedily tore into the meal, the best I had tasted in months. I was embarrassed to see that Jay observed me through his dark eyelashes, drinking his wine and taking judicious bites of his food while I behaved like a wild animal. He laughed at me a little, which was more than I could bear. I stood up, wiping my face with the serviette provided and took an uncertain step towards the door.

“I want to return to my chambers now,” I stated, embarrassed at the hesitance in my own voice.

Jay swallowed the contents of his glass and poured himself another, never moving his eyes from mine. “No you don’t.”

He advanced on me like a predator grasping hold of my wrists as I sought to shelter my face from him. I did not fear he would strike me but I knew that my eyes would tell him something very different than what I just said.

“You don’t want to go anywhere. You want me to drag you into my bed and take you the way your husband should have on your wedding night. You want me to ruin you.”

Twisting my arms behind my back he once again captured my mouth with his and once again I felt a fire consuming me from within. Feeling me respond, he released my arms and I wound them around his neck without a thought, trailing my fingers through his dark hair. One of his hands slid up over the back of my head and he pulled me away from him, grabbing a fistful of my hair.

“I only wish I could trust you,” he growled.

“What does that matter? You keep me locked in my room all the time except when you want to use me for entertainment. I told you that I had nothing to do with the plotting against you but you won’t believe me. Once I threatened you and tried to escape because I understood nothing of your political intrigues. Since that time have I ever denied you anything you asked? Did I not beg you on my knees to spare my servants? And as far as...” My throat contracted, unwilling to speak more.

“As far as what?” he whispered, drawing his lips up the length of my neck, smiling against the skin as I let my head fall back. “As far as this? Is this so repulsive to you?”

I twisted to face him, my breath trembling as I spoke. “You know it isn’t. You know I go to pieces every time you touch me. And so I ask you again, why is it that you think me unworthy of your trust?”

In one rush of movement, Jay gathered me up in his arms and carried me into his bedroom, tossing me down on his beautiful bed, plush with blankets and silk. I was a little frightened, unsure what I had actually asked for, but I felt my body aching to experience the pleasure he’d brought me that one night that seemed so long ago. I was almost as frightened when I saw his face, eyes consumed with lust, his expression ferocious. He pulled and tore at my clothing and I helped, struggling free even though I cringed at the idea of being fully naked before a man.

Likewise, I tore away at his clothing until he wriggled free of all of it, my eyes hungrily taking in his body, so much like a beautiful sculpture and yet so much more beautiful because it was real. My breath caught as I ran my hand down his chest, feeling each carved muscle, down to the depression on the inside of his hips, stroking the base of his erect member. His whole body shivered and I withdrew the hand, wondering if I’d done something wrong.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” was all I could bring myself to say, my voice like the squeaking of a mouse.

He gave a small but not unkind smile, shifting onto his side and running his fingers over my stomach to my exposed sex, sliding his fingers around the flesh that had become soaked.

“You liked this when I did it before,” he rasped. “Have never done it yourself?”

I shook my head, unable to speak as he swirled his fingers along the bone and up to the sensitive little nub that had nearly driven me crazy before. He raised himself a little, alternating between stimulating that spot with his thumb and pressing his fingers into the opening, a little further inside with every touch, until he was brushing against some hidden spot inside me.

My head fell back and my eyes closed, I was so lost in his touch. My reverie was broken by a sharp bite to my nipple and I came back to my senses to see him glaring at me with a frightening intensity.

“Keep your eyes open. Look at me.”

He gave a sharp thrust of his fingers and my eyes fluttered shut once again, although I forced them back open a second later. “I don’t know if I can,” I pleaded.

“You can and you will.”

Just as I had before, I felt something building in me, in my sex, in my stomach, and gradually filling my entire body. I dreaded the moment he was going to stop but he continued, increasing in speed and force until I could feel some invisible thing break inside me, flooding me with the most incredible pleasure I had ever experienced. Fighting to maintain the eye contact he demanded, I was moaning, crying out involuntarily, my breath ragged. I marveled at the look of excitement and pleasure on his face, wanting to kiss him but unsure if I was allowed.

He slowed the pace of his movements and slid down so that his face rested between my legs. He gave me a little wink and pressed his lips to that aching bundle, licking at the juices pooled there and softly sucking. I felt wave after wave rolling over me, not as intense as the first but sweet nonetheless, until the space became so sensitive that I twisted and mewled in pain. He held me down and continued his ministrations, rougher than ever until I was almost in tears. Once he was satisfied, he licked his fingers clean once again and leaned over me, grabbing hold of my jaw and thrusting his mouth against mine.

I resisted just a little, shocked at the taste, but relented when he squeezed my throat. As the kiss continued to build in passion, I felt him pressing against me, the tip pushing against the opening that felt swollen with what I’d already experienced.

Pulling back, he grasped both my arms in one hand, easily pinning them above my head and he leaned down to whisper, “It hurts the first time for a woman. Is that what you want? Do you want me to hurt you?”

“”I want you,” I whimpered. “I don’t even know what it means but I know I want you.”

He guided my legs up so they were around his waist, showering kisses over my neck and chest. I felt his prick brushing against the folds of flesh, the head gently pressing inside. As he’d done with his fingers, he teased a little bit at a time and I wondered if that was how it was done, even though it didn’t feel quite right. Then he grasped my hips, fingers digging into the flesh so hard I could immediately feel the bruises forming. He forced my legs up a little higher and with one strong movement pushed himself all the way inside me.

As he had warned, it did hurt, enough that I gave a little scream at his first thrust and continued whinnying as he pushed forward. Before long, however, he slowed his pace, his lips capturing mine and then sliding all the way down to my breasts.

“Just try to relax,” he murmured into my skin. “Relax and it will feel better.”

Breathing in deep, I was able to let myself go just a little more and it did feel better. It continued to feel better and better as he stroked that magical spot inside me with unerring precision and I once again felt the tension building inside me, my core tightening around him as he pushed harder.

His thumb traced gently along my jaw and as I looked at him I saw his expression untainted by suspicion or anger.

“Again?” he breathed.

“Yes. Please.”

And within seconds I was once again in ecstasy, that early pain forgotten, washed away in a tide of mewls and gasps.

“God,” I panted, “does it feel that good for you?”

“It will. Don’t worry, you’ll know when it does.”

Feeling the increased urgency of his movements inside me, I held onto him as tightly as I could, determined that he should get as much pleasure as I had. Watching his face as he reached his climax, I felt giddy with the idea that I had done that.

I pulled him close to me as we both caught our breath. The return to Earth, to the castle and the realities of our world was heavy, the looming darkness a crushing force.

“How much have they offered you for me?” I rasped, once I was sufficiently recovered.

He raised himself so that he could look me in the eyes. “A great deal. Your father has at least. Your husband has had nothing to say.”

“What if I refuse to go back,?” I asked flatly, shocked at how my mind seemed clearer than it had ever been. “What if I told you that I’d throw myself out of a window here rather than spend my life as an outcast or a nun?”

He eyed me, some of the suspicion returning. “You’d rather spend eternity in hell than your life in the care of your family?”

“Or I’d rather risk hell than leave here. Collect my father’s money and send me off if that’s what you want. It’ll end the same way.”

Once again, his eyes flared. “So I’m supposed to feel afraid of the guilt if I drove you to suicide?”

“I’m saying that while I have no reason to believe that I can trust you with my welfare, I’m willing to do so.”

“You’d be willing to be kept here as my mistress, knowing that I could grow bored and dispose of you at my will?”

“I would rather live here as your wife, since even the Pope would see fit to annul my marriage,” I said, mustering all the pride I could. “But in lieu of that, I would rather live here as one of your numerous conquests than to be returned to any part of my old life.”

His eyes softened a little, and suddenly I could see the young man I had known in my youth again.

“I think you wanted to marry me once” I ventured. “Perhaps my family rejected the offer because it was not politically advantageous.”

He made no motion to confirm or deny my statement but the way his eyes turned bitter and prideful told me that I had come close to the truth.

“My family doesn’t have that power now. I am asking that you consider any monetary offer you receive for me against this: I only want to be with you and I would rather die than be sent off to some miserable, lonely fate without you. You’ve already claimed what my husband should have. Anything else is entirely in your hands. And I trust you with that power.”

I felt his body tremble just a little before he spoke. “I want you to know that when I dispatched your companions, I ordered the men to convey Hannah to the safety of a town. Only the men were left on the road.”

“A fair solution,” I mused.

“I won’t ever make you live in any kind of infamy,” he sighed, dropping his head to my chest. “The fact is that part of me doesn’t want to trust you because I don’t believe I could withstand being rejected again.”

“And you have to choose whether to let that part dictate your future or to believe me.” I took his face in my hands and forced him to look me in the eyes.

“There is going to be a fight,” he murmured. “Your family is going to come for me.”

“And they will lose because they underestimate you.”

His lips were on mine once again and I grew dizzy with the intensity of the kiss, my body constricting around him involuntarily.

“Mine?” he hissed, burying his mouth against my neck and biting at the flesh.

“Yours,” I sighed, feeling a sense of relief I had never known before. “Yours.”

#jay white imagine #jay white fanfic #njpw fanfic #wayward wrestle writing #njpw imagine

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govthookercoulson · 4 years

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If you hate jarley sm, why do you write fanfics in which they live in an open and loving relationship? Are you writing these characters ooc on purpose? You also mentioned in one of the previous asks that he never hit her, but that's not true because there are a lot of examples in the mainstream comics where he DOES hits her, kicks her in the face, fires a gun at her etc. You can write whatever you like in your fics, ofc. I just want to know what you really think about this relationship?

Okay so time out.

The fanfics.

That are explicitly a sexual relationship beginning between the Joker and Batman.

Are out of character?

*jiggles ear* I’m going to need you to repeat yourself for me.

While we’re at it: I’m reasonably certain Tony Stark’s never fucked Loki in canon. Phil and Clint have never had an intimate relationship. And everyone I just listed IS FUCKING DEAD. Except Clint, I guess.

And while I’m at it. Phil Coulson has never fronted a metal band. Or owned a porn studio. Or been a super soldier and known the Kingsmen. BUT I’VE DONE THAT TOO.

*snaps timeline and canon over my knee and feeds it into a woodchipper while looking directly at you*

As for Jarley.

I honestly don’t remember talking much about Jarley on here. Have I ever? I don’t even know. Time isn’t real, my memory is first and foremost a colander.

If I hate anything about Joker/Harley it’s how people hold that relationship up and worship it. It’s dangerous, abusive, toxic, their relationship is every fucking red flag in the book. It’s bad, it’s beyond bad and there’s this thing where people look at them and go OMIGAWD LIFE GOALS and like. No.

Gomez and Mortica are life goals. If you’re a romantic. I guess.

I’m not a romantic but that’s not here or there.

Let’s be honest, Harley was given a raw deal and about the only saving grace is animated Harley is hell on wheels and is one of the people who can very effectively take the Joker out (and has).

But that isn’t what my fic is about.

Joker’s not real. In most of his depictions he’s about as one dimensional as possible, a neon monster whose ultimate role is to be a foil against cthonic Batman.

I didn’t want that Joker, and I didn’t write that Joker.

Do you bitch at people who write TellTale’s Joker? That sweet boy?

Because TellTale’s Joker is a sweet sweet boy and if you play the game right, the only reason he goes bad is the game forces your hand and doesn’t give you a real chance to redeem him. Which is shit. Which even TellTale people has admitted is shit, because the subtext that that good sweet boy is dating Bruce isn’t even fucking subtext. It’s just text.

My Joker is a terrible person. He’s toxic and a killer and a drug dealer and he’ll point weapons at the public to buy himself time. He’s possessive and demented and wrong and his ability to care for people is directly linked to how much they help his state of mind.

Harley knows that.

Batman knows that.

Joker’s moderately self aware.

They’re all insane. The difference is this Joker is knowable. This Joker you might believe Harley would love. This Joker knows business. This Batman understands nuance. This Batman knows he stands in the grey area.

It’s not a fic series about good people. It’s a fic series about terrible people making terrible decisions, but you know what? I didn’t want to write angst. I wanted to write a stupid lighthearted series about Bats and Mr J. And I did for two fics then my muse kicked into hyperdrive and I wrote 13K about killing Amanda Waller because holy hell but did that bitch need killing.

Retribution for Midway City. For the Suicide Squad. For El Diablo. Delivered by a Joker dressed all in black.

Black sends a message in Gotham.

No offense but you don’t come to a marvel writer asking for DC to be in character. Pretty sure my tags spelled it out super fuckin clear here.

You want a gorgeous depiction of the true rot of Harley and Joker? Look up Stjepan Sejic’s comic Harleen.

You want dumb fun and humor of an apparently unique brand if you believe my comments? You come to me.

#Anonymous

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kweebtrash · 4 years

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Hey, not necessarily a sex question. But as someone who loves reading fanfic and appreciates fanfic writers, I still can't bring myself to write it. How did you get into writing fanfic, and was it ever weird for you? Do you have any advice on how to feel less weird about it? Especially smut about real people? (To be fair I can't bring myself to write smut in general idk why)

I started writing naruto and yu yu hakusho fanfiction when i was ten and it was just a regular oc and the character i liked. It wasnt good at all but i thought it was the greatest. When i met my sister (non biological) in middle school we decided to come up with our own "anime story". We would write it in notebooks and pass it to each other during class and get in trouble for it. So i guess that was the first time ive written an "original" story. By the time i was 12 i knew what sex was (mostly) and i knew teenagers did it (my characters were teenagers) so i was like oh if they like each other then they should do it. But because i was 12 i was like THATS ICKY TO WRITE ABOUT (in detail) so i made them get in bed and then skipped ahead and wrote THE NEXT DAY 😂😂😂

Then when i got access to a laptop and internet thats when i round "real" fanfiction online and smut back when it was called "lemon/lime/citrus" whatever the fuck that means. I still remember my first one was about neji hyuga LMAO.

I started reading more fanfiction throughout my teenager years and kept writing for anime, wrote bandfiction, created a bunch of OCs to rp with my partner at the time and i think by the time i actually started having sex that i was like ok this isnt so weird to write about anymore. So when we would rp we would just text each other sex scenes and i guess it became normalized because we were doing it irl so writing about it was just like hey! We sorta know what were doing! Oh i also used to watch a lot of porn as a teen? Idk why. That stopped after like a year or so but i found out shit through that, like bdsm, squirting, how utterly gross blowjobs are, what a hitachi wand was, how much i hate spit, etc. So that actually helped me discover like my beginning kinks. Porn is still terrible tho.

I think the first time i wrote smut was with a wrestling fanfic? And i had been reading a bunch of fics that had smut and with my basic knowledge and slowly finding out what phrases i liked in order to describe things it flowed a little more naturally but it was still hard.

Then i think i didnt really write much until i wrote my pentagon story which i think is terrible but other people like it. I guess with my practicing, experience, and sex education it started becoming easier? You can tell in my pentagon story that i was still getting back into the swing of things bc my sex scenes are atrocious and ridiculous 😅

I never really liked reading series myself bc i didnt want just prose and build up. I wanted smut. I was like THATS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. So i made it a point to write smut in every single chapter so that way people stayed interested. In doing so it also helped me practice and get better. Then i read A LOT of bad kpop fics and was like....why dont these people know that sex isnt like porn??

There is a lot of copying in kpop fics in the sense that a lot of them are written the same way and we get the usual; some u realistic giant dick, "ministrations, pussy, cunt", kitten every other word, thigh riding, everyone confusing abuse with bdsm, "daddy" popping up left and right without going in depth to what meaning that holds, random weird shit. And i realized WOW I REALLY HATE KPOP FANFICS lol. So when i started writing messy i was like OK FUCK THIS IM GONNA WRITE SEX LIKE HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO. Then i starting writing smut where the condom broke, they talked about birth control, having a mental breakdown during sex, sexual assault, accidentally wacking each other while moving around, giggling, talking, explaining what you want. This i think helped me a lot, especially with my mental trauma that was associated with sex. I wanted to make it fun and real while also possibly teaching my readers about sex and maybe influencing other fic writers to not just regurgitate what they read.

As far as advice, im not quite sure if i have any?? Maybe i do lol. Take it with a grain of salt maybe?

With writing i would suggest

Read fics you like and highlight key phrases or actions you think are sexually appealing

Practice writing shorter scenes, you can even do time stamps or drabbles, things like that-people love those on here

Look into things. Honestly i knew what a cock ring was but someone requested i USE it in a fic and i was like shit guess i gotta google how to use a cock ring and while awkwardly watching videos of guys putting these things on i learned about metal ones, cages, silicone, rubber, rings, how long you should keep it on for, etc. So RESEARCH! is key too

If youve never had sex before that also helps if you research. Porn can give you a little bit of knowledge in generic motions or toys to use but by no means is it great as far as realism and sometimes its just plain icky.

So porn can be a basis, research can be a middle layer, reading other fics and seeing what you like and dont like is on top, and writing ur own is like...idk frosting lol.

As far as being weird with real people; since i wrote bandfiction and wrestling fics i was used to writing about real people for a little under ten years or so. Also i have a really active mind at night and i have tons of sex dreams that fit into like a story based setting. Thats where all my ideas for prose, dialogue and smut come from. Not everyone ofc has a brain like that but writing down things here and there might work. Lets say you have a favorite idol moment-like some really slutty dance move during a performance, you could time stamp that for inspiration. Save a lot of gifs and pics of them looking *chefs kiss*, listen to some music (i like alina baraz, sabrina claudio, galant, alex tbh, and jooyong for softer, gentler scenes or if you wanna get freak nastie listen to some dumbass jae park, or pretty ricky, or any sex related song thats not pretty lmao. Like rude boy by rihanna or something with a hard beat).

I think its also good to try and picture yourself in a sexual situation. You dont have to look like you, you could make up however you want to look in the scenario, its fantasy after all. Also think "would i like this?" Like i wont write about some idol spitting in my mouth or slapping me or peeing on me or something because thats not stuff that im into and i would be forcing myself to appease someone else and the writing woukd end up sucking big time. This also doesnt help the lack of good fics bc people are just following the requests they get even if they dont like it. I would write about what i think id feel in the moment. Id probably be nervous or if im pretending i could be a cool badass, i would think about things that i find attractive like his (imma use his bc i do write mostly about boy idols) face in the shadows of the light, how nice or soft his lips look, they way hes conveying emotions and looking at me if we were in love or if we were angry, the hold he has on me, why would it be going slow? Is it sad makeup sex? Is it a first time together? Is it just comforting after a bad day? Why would they be rough? Are they angry? Had a fight? Had a slow burn relationship and its culminated into a big explosion? Did they hate each other but hide their true feelings?

So i would suggest not just thinking about sex but thinking about the moment and all the things that lead up to, happen during, and the aftermath of it.

And of course if you don't understand anything or need more info about sex you can always ask me!

I hope this help and sorry its long😅😅😅😅

#i love my readers!

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np-c · 6 years

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Fanon as canon

(sry for bad writing, that’s gonna be some gramatic wrong shit but i NEED to say this -aahhh this is hard, sorry)

That’s not a message to antis (fuck them) but massage to pro-shippers. In our fandom we have some weird shit that we all agreed is canon? Its all because bakudeku started as enemies..? rivals? definetly not friends? Because Bakugo told Deku to go to kill himself.

That was a first episode; we didn’t know a shit except we need to protect Izuku at all costs bc he’s so adorable and just need protection. But then there is started some weird west shit where people completly ignoring what’s going on on the screen cuz no one noticed Izuku’s reaction on these words.

Well, you see, I came in fandom after wonderful villain!deku au’s and now i think its the dumbest thing fandom ever made so i was low-key shipping bakudeku. And one of the reasons why i started to watch this show was ‘cuz I wanted to see how really abusive this ship is. I wanted a proof. For my favorite kind fo AU and for my probably OTP.

...

But then I finally saw that scene, goddamn I laughed so fucking hard OMG. Pls rewatch it, PLEASE REWATCH IT WITH YOUR OPENED EYES.

Was it just me or Izuku’s first reaction was a desire to say “well fuck you too”???

Was he upset? Obviously, his notebook was thrown into window. But what else? He was angry. He wasn’t scared before Katsuki glared at him. He wasn’t crying (his usual reaction at everything). After that, he just said that Katchan was stupid to say that.

That was the moment when villain!deku died to me. But so did a big part of bakudeku fandom cuz they are so good people who can’t do anything wrong so when they do, they need to apologise и этот момент во всех фанфиках написан как по методичке And so need Bakugo BECAUSE HE BULLIED MIDORIYA FOR TEN YEARS or something like that apparently (funny thing but i figured that russian just doesn’t have an equal translation; well we have a lot of childish nouns and a lot of verbs so we can translate ‘he was bullied’ but we can’t translate ‘that guy is bully’ without it sounded stupid and childish THE FUNNIER THING: the closiest that i heard used is ‘provoker’ :D i just found that very hillarious dontmindme)

Well, the question is: was Midoriya really get bullied? I saw enough animes to think it was not the case. Or it was nothing really serious and just words. And look me in the eyes and tell me that this guy gave fuck about what people told him. Especially in middle school. He was one with his dreams against the world, even against his own mother (and i need to write another post why i hate Inko Midoriya and probably why I’ll never be accepted in your world of saints). He was quirkless and people laughed at his dreams. His mother didn’t believe in him. But Katsuki? He just wanted get rid of him.

Big bad Katsuki, right? Because you never ever in your lives met people who you thought was weird, who made you feel weird. That could be your friends sometimes or your friend’s friend or just that one classmate - you have never been in such a situation, right? I’m not saying his actions are fine - nah, he was an asshole kid, but i can understand why. Actually, if you read manga, it was said literally: Katsuki doesn’t see a problem in a bit of violence. He was raised that way, he’s angry kid, with not so family-friendly quirk (probably). But he knows when to step back, he follows rules, he’s a good student and he wouldn’t let his ‘friends’ smoke nearby bc he doesn’t want to get into trouble. His dreams (plans) are too big, he works so hard for them to happen. He might be an asshole but he’s responsible asshole за то и любим

So, some stupid kid who thinks he’s better then Katsuki (btw go rewatch their first fight but without this ‘we need to protect Deku’ bullshit in your mind and listen to their dialog - it’s a gold of comedy misunderstandings honestly) that kid thinks that he’s, being a loser (he WAS loser, smart ofc but still yeah it’s not good call him that but ffs), quirkless, can achive something for what Katsuki worked so hard. Most of you would’ve hate this kid too, don’t lie to yourselves.

But would he risk his dreams to hurt him?

Yeah, there’re moments from times when they were what? four? that frame where ‘he became bad after he got his quirk’? i honestly think it was a plothole but just imho :D Asshole violent little brat but i really would’ve love to know the whole story bc wtf. It’s probably my problem after being here too long so i automatically looking for bad things and it’s not like kids never fight. I don’t believe it was something drastically and IT IS the most drastic thing that i found in their history.

And after all... intresting point: Deku still thinks that Katsuki is amazing (even when he’s an asshole) and don’t you fucking dare call him a masochist ‘cuz he’s not. He would fight him.

He wanted to fight him when Katchan said that stupid thing (that you all so love to overthink). He fought him when they were little. He fought him in villain vs heroes lesson without that much of a second thought. Yeah, he’s nervous around him at first bc Katsuki is loud and literally explosive and yeah, from that all you can think he’s scared of him, but is he? Izuku is nervous kid in general. He always was just a nobody for his classmates and it’s not like he was naturally talanted at anything (quite opposite) and his only parental figure is Inko (she’s wonderful woman, okay? but not the greatest mother and also nervous wreck). It was his first days in UA, Class 1-A was just introduced, we didn’t know anybody, and it’s some new test already - ofc he would be nervious.

So, anyway, if Katsuki didn’t abuse him physically, he obviously did that emotionally bc... we need a scape goat and we already hate Bakugo and he told Izuku to kill himself so that’s enough. Or bc he’s the only guy from Izuku’s chilhood who’s name we know, so we can blame him - he’s important to story, right? probably bc every story need an almost-villain so we can hate him altogether. Or maybe bc it was not Bakugo, but a whole atmosphere: his classmates, teachers, his ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ mother. First of all, probably genes.

Second of all, ask yourself a question: can one stupid Izuku’s words Bakugo Katsuki break Midoriya Izuku? To the point where we call that’s a trauma, where Katsuki’s usual harsh vocabulary becomes a crime, where we write suicidal fanfics and they don’t sound stupid?

Except they does because Izuku isn’t suicidal, not even fucking close. He doesn’t have a trauma. He is just a nervous kid and - actually - he isn’t fucking weak (strong in spirit or smth like that). Funny thing: when i first watch their exam right before summer camp arc, when they started talking that great speak about impassable wall, I actually thought that can be said about Izuku :D He’s not easy to break and he easily ignores people’s opinions when he needs. He’s self-destractive, not suicidal. Different things, guys. I’m pretty sure even if he did thought about that ‘way out’, he never made this an option. Yeah, you actually can seriosly consider this as your ‘way out’ and then think that nope, not for you.

So, after all this FUCKING TEXT WALL OMYGOD, let’s get back to the point that I didn’t even stated in first place.

Why Katsuki need to apologise?

I’m sure at some point Katsuki hated Deku (bc Deku looked down at him whatever it was or wasn’t thruth - for Katsuki it was) and at some point Deku couldn’t leave him alone. He called him names (name ‘Deku’ was made before Deku happened to be quirkless, some people forget about that), but so did everyone and don’t make Katsuki the most evil one - unlike most, he had reasons and he’s an angry kid and Izuku was a bad guy in Katsuki’s story who wanted to destroy him while hiding behind his innocence smile - what a fucking story with a plot-twist it could’ve been, if it was Katsuki’s POV-

Katsuki didn’t ruin Izuku’s life, not even close. You can say, he ruined his childhood, but I would risk to say that was mutual (Greetings, Inferiority Complex!). Really, can I start to say that Izuku need to apologise to Katsuki bc he didn’t even try to understant his friend?

So, Bakugo is a bully bc we never saw an angry teenager and bc Izuku is innocent and it’s just them two in the world and Izuku is the only one who was hurt no, really, no jokes here, I think Katsuki is a lot more emotionally damaged then Izuku ever was and because we have a really dumb headcanons that we forgot were just our thought ебаное слово, вечно забываю как пишется and interpretations.

So we agreed that Katsuki beat Izuku bc he was quirkless and helpless (seems like EXACTLY THE REASON WHY HE WOULD DO THIS R I G H T) and called him names (definitely not bc he felt threatened by someone who’s supposed to be just a nobody).

...

Okay, that sounds bad so I rephrase it:

Why Katsuki should apologise to someone who he saw as a threat when he for so much reasons shouldn’t?

Not so simple anymore, hah?

Can sound dumb but ambivalent feelings is a thing. And that’s the only reason I can find to explain why Katsuki was the only one of the whole class who didn’t laughed when they’ve been told Deku’s trying get into UA. Because shitty nerd had a chance? Because shitty nerd thought that he stand the same ground as Bakugo and it wasn’t funny anymore? Because stop looking down at me?

Bakugo Katsuki is the best fucking character I’ve ever met. He’s so real. So complex.

And when you picture him as a bully or just a bad guy or abusive, you’re killing him as a character. I don’t like saying that 16y.o. are just kids, but he is AND he’s trying his best. He doesn’t understand all things and he has never met a proper rivals before and he’s definitely not a social person (and nope, you can’t change a character so deal with it and learn to see through this). And let him learn.

He may or may not look back one day and see what a little piece of shit he was, but I don’t think he would say something. He’s a man of action after all.

And I definitely think that would be unnecessary and would look forced bc Izuku doesn’t need this. Izuku isn’t a victim, and when you picture him as one, you’re killing him as a character.

(it should’ve been ended right after ‘OMG TEXT WALL’ but here we fucking are; does someone read this?

i really hope this shit is readable; if not, it’s not about my shitty english that much, but my writing, ehh)

You have headcanons - good. You figured them in a way to fill a gap in the story - great. But for the love of characters, don’t fucking pretend them to be a canon.

But really, is it just me or does first chapter look weird? It’s fctually just funny how so many people seems stuck in FIRST CHAPTER when we are close to second hundred. I’m not saying ‘heeeey character development’. I’m asking: is first chapter a really good reason to make assumptions?

#bakudeku #bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #my shitty inglish #SEVEN HOURS OF MY LIFE TO THIS SHIT wooooow #its not even readable is it #i'm d o n e #just my disorganised thoughts tho

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kirishwima · 7 years

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Get to know me tag!

Tagged by @teakoii

1. What is your full name? Don’t really want to give out my full name on tumblr lol, but I’m Sophia (and if we’re going for embarrassing details, I got a middle name, Marina lol)

2. What is your nickname? A lot of people call me babushka? Or just shortened versions of my name like Soph and stuff

3. What is your zodiac sign? Cancer

4. What is your favorite book series? Hmmm this is hard lol. The only series I can honestly admit to have read entirely is the Hunger Games :p

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Aliens are 10010% real and probably want nothing to do with earth, LOL. Ghosts...it’d be so cool if they’re real. Highly doubt it though

6. Who is your favorite author? Neil Gaiman!! He’s amazing!

7. What is your favorite radio station? Mix fm...any cypriot reading this will know lol

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Of anything...probably coffee taste lol. Or mint? One of the two

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Hmm, amazing? Awesome? idk lol

10. What is your current favorite song? Current favourite is probably Andromeda by the Gorillaz :p

11. What is your favorite word? in english?? no clue hahah :p

12. What was the last song you listened to? Despacito ;u;

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Voltron obviously hahah, um, maybe American Horror story? But only season 2 lol, or Black Mirror bc it’s amAZING

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Ghibli films! Especially Howl’s moving castle or Spirited Away! c:

15. Do you play video games? I do but not as much lately bc of uni

16. What is your biggest fear? Uhhh if we’re going for deep dark fears, probably the entire concept of eternity? Like the thought of something having no real start or end just freaks me out lol

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I honestly can’t think of one hahah, i’ve been thinking for a couple of minutes and can’t think of anything :p maybe that i’m an easy person to get along with

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I can make a list tbh lol, absolute worst would probably be that i’m way too sensitive & care too much about what other people think

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? NO DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE I LOVE THEM BOTH I LOVE ALL ANIMALS ;-;

20. What is your favorite season? Summer!! :D

21. Are you in a relationship? Nope

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? I don’t miss much. Maybe not having this much of a workload if anything lol

23. Who is your best friend? Why have one when you can have 3? :D @faded-r0ses @now-this-is-wtf @ibreathestucky <3 <3

24. What is your eye color? Brow

25. What is your hair color? I change it every few months lol, it’s currently black!

26. Who is someone you love? So many people :p Friends, family, a lot of people! c:

27. Who is someone you trust? The squad obviously, but p. much all of my friends?? Like if we’re buddies then that’s it, i trust u lol

28. Who is someone you think about often? Like i think about my dog a lot bc i haven’t seen his fluffiness in like four moths now but i think about a lot of people often? not one set person

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? I’m excited for an eternal slumber tbh, or like, vacation. I need a break TuT

30. What is your biggest obsession? Voltron probably, and also random but history?? i love. history lol

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? POKEMON! It was a Sunday morning ritual to watch pokemon :D

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Anything? Probably no one :p

33. Are you superstitious? Not really?

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Like, I’m afraid of small white rooms with no windows. Random? Yes. Unusual? Idk?? :p

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I’m insecure af but like photography so behind it lol

36. What is your favorite hobby? Writing! :D

37. What was the last book you read? I mean i read a shitton of anatomy and physiology books throughout this year, do those count? Ah and The anatomy of being by Shinj Moon, though it’s a poetry book

38. What was the last movie you watched? Avengers Age of Ultron probably

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? Nothing, sadly TuT

40. What is your favorite animal?

I can’t. ChoOOSEE I LOVE SO MANY. If i can have like a top 3?? It’d probably be dogs & cats (in one place bc i can’t choose), foxes, and lizards? or i think they’re called newts in english? ya.

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

Definitely @teakoii they’re they’re the literal cutest & amazing artist, definitely 2/3 the squad: @ibreathestucky (she’s a fandom goddess ok <3), @faded-r0ses (aesthetic ho right there), (((our remaining 1/3 @now-this-is-wtf not included bc she nEVER LOGS IN)) Also @wipengineer <-the queen of angst

and @maristine :D Quality voltron content right there~

and also a LOT of other blogs, some that i interact with and some not but i’m too shy to mention/tag >.<

42. What superpower do you wish you had?

Being able to breathe/survive underwater. Bye bye humans. I’m a fish now. You’ll never catch me. Also shapeshifting would b awesome bc. Cmon. You could become a dragon. Take that responsibilities.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace?

The beach, definitely. Or anywhere near large bodies of water? Give me a lake or river any day and I’ll probably never leave lol

44. What makes you smile?

A good ol’ meme never failed me so far, also good music? And coffee, and cuddly animals or just hugs in general i love hugs

45. What sports do you play, if any?

I do some swimming and begrudgingly go to the gym when my roommate drags me along but that’s pretty much it lol

46. What is your favorite drink?

CoFFEE. I swear my blood has been replaced with caffeine by now

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

I wrote a post-it note to my roommate to let her know i’m out does that count?

48. Are you afraid of heights?

Nope! I love looking down when standing somewhere v high or in a plane and stuff lol

49. What is your biggest pet peeve?

I had to google what a pet peeve is TuT

Hm, i can’t really think of anything? Not a lot of things bug me tbh, except for big things like you know, like rudeness or belittling someone else e.t.c

50. Have you ever been to a concert?

Yup!

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian?

Vegetarian!^^

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Define how little. I had a big phase of wanting to become a Power Ranger so.

According to my family i was always between vet or doctor though lol

53. What fictional world would you like to live in?

Ohh boy, i can’t just choose one!! :p Something magic-related definitely

54. What is something you worry about?

Something? Something? More like everything. TuT

55. Are you scared of the dark?

Nope!

56. Do you like to sing?

No unless I'm either drunk enough or blasting the radio loud enough for no one to hear me hahah

57. Have you ever skipped school?

I was way too much of an ‘example student’ in high school so no lol. As for lectures in uni though..well. ;u;

58. What is your favorite place on the planet?

The bEACH. ANY BEACH. IS THERE WATER AND SAND? THEN I LIKE IT. :D

59. Where would you like to live?

Italy! My dream is to move to Italy after i graduate!

60. Do you have any pets?

Yes, a cute lil’ bean of a doggo~ (or as my friends very...politely say, the chubbiest, clingiest chihuahua they’ve ever met lol)

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

Both? It depends lol

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

BOTH I CAN’T CHOOSE TuT

63. Do you know how to drive?

Yup! Although parking is an entire different story LOL

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

Headphones, earbuds are annoying ;-;

65. Have you ever had braces?

Yes. I pretend that that time period never happened ;u;

66. What is your favorite genre of music?

Hmmmmmm. Hmmm??? I can’t choose? Probably either indie/chill music or punk rock but i listen to so so many genres

67. Who is your hero?

I can’t really think of any celebrities, but if we’re talking people, probably my grandma? She was a badass woman that was raising two kids in her twenties whilst studying & graduating med school, then moved on to become the first woman gynaecologist in her country. Hats off to her really.

68. Do you read comic books?

A bit!

69. What makes you the most angry?

Honestly people that just. Can’t. Respect. Others.

So racist/homophobic/transphobic/sexist people, people who can’t respect someone else, people that think they’re superior to anyone, and also people that hurt/abuse animals- it’s like hey buddy. Find the nearest trash can and shove yourself in it, it’s not nice to litter.

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

Real books. I understand that electronics are more convenient but there’s nothing better than actually holding a book in your hands and flipping the pages ;u;

71. What is your favorite subject in school?

History and english lit! And greek literature! All theoretical subjects really, lol

If we’re talking currently, then it’s embryology, definitely. I love it!!

72. Do you have any siblings?

An older sister and two older brothers

73. What was the last thing you bought?

Bananas and vegetables, lol

74. How tall are you?

165cm. I think it’s 5′5″

75. Can you cook?

I mean i nearly burn the kitchen down every time but i try

76. What are three things that you love?

Animals, good books, coffee

77. What are three things that you hate?

Rude/mean people (aka every single person with a Trump-like mindset, the dude himself included ofc), that’s pretty much it? it takes a lot for me to hate something

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends?

Female

79. What is your sexual orientation?

Pan! Still figuring out if that’s Panromantic or Pansexual :p

80. Where do you currently live?

Czech Republic

81. Who was the last person you texted?

My roommate

82. When was the last time you cried?

Like, 2 days ago i think? I was stressed, tired and sick lol

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber?

Markiplier! Also a lot of creepy pasta narrators, Lazy Masquerade being my fave probably :p

84. Do you like to take selfies?

Sometimes? it really really depends on my mood lol

85. What is your favorite app?

Instagram probably

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

Ehh. I get along great with my dad although we don’t talk much, and i get along as well with my mom, just wish she’d realise i’m not a kid still lol.

The older i get the better we get along i guess, although there’s some things we’ll never agree on

87. What is your favorite foreign accent?

I like Spanish accents a lot? I have a lot of Spanish & Portuguese friends and love their accent when they speak english :p Also Russian accents?? Don’t ask me why. I just really like them lol

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Japan! I really want to go to Japan. And USA? And Canada? Like, big-city places because I’ve never been to one ;u;

89. What is your favorite number?

90. Can you juggle?

I got the balance of a tomato on an acid trip, so that’s a no hahah

91. Are you religious?

Not...really? I was raised in a very religious house and the more i learned about church the more i disliked it. I still like some aspects of it though so...I’m figuring it out still

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

I CAN’T CHOOSE THEY’RE BOTH SO FASCINATING I WANNA FLING MYSELF INTO SPACE AND DISCOVER THE SECRETS OF THE OCEAN IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

With enough alcohol in my system and good friends, ya. As it is? Nope, I'm that one friend in horror movies that says ‘hey guys, this is probably a bad idea’ and promptly dies lol

94. Are you allergic to anything?

A bit allergic to dust but that’s pretty much it i think

95. Can you curl your tongue?

No ;-;

96. Can you wiggle your ears?

How do people dO THAT no i can’t

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

If i know I'm in the wrong i always admit it & apologise, or so i hope :p

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?

The forest is fun too but...the beach. Definitely. ((Plus there’s no bugs at the beach! ;u;))

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

If you try your best and work hard, the result won't matter because you gave it your all and that’s what counts.

100. Are you a good liar?

Not at all, you can immediately tell if I’m lying because I start to giggle lol

101. What is your Hogwarts House?

Hufflepuff!

102. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes. It’s actually funny bc i keep switching between languages when i do

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert ;;

104. Do you keep a journal/diary?

Not exactly. I try to keep a journal but it usually ends up with doodles and scribbles from class lol

105. Do you believe in second chances?

Most of the time, yes.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

Honestly? I’d probably leave it, OR if there’s any shops nearby, I’d take it to a store clerk, since the person that lost it is more likely to go into a nearby shop and ask if they’ve seen their wallet than to a police department, I think? idk

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change?

Yes, definitely!

108. Are you ticklish?

Ridiculously ticklish. @now-this-is-wtf and @faded-r0ses have a field trip with this fact T-T

109. Have you ever been on a plane?

Yup!

110. Do you have any piercings?

I got a lot of piercings on my ears and had nose ring but I think it’s healed now? Will be getting a septum piercing in July though~

111. What fictional character do you wish was real?

Lance. Lanceeeeeee. How could i not want my fave ever to be real lol

112. Do you have any tattoos? Not...yet. Soon though!

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

It wasn’t exactly my decision, but switching schools back in middle school. Would have never met my tiny best friend otherwise, or met some other amazing people & teachers

114. Do you believe in karma?

Not really

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

Glasses, can’t put on contacts to save my life

116. Do you want children?

I don’t really like kids so. Ehh.

117. Who is the smartest person you know?

Hmm, people are smart in different ways and aspects. So I don’t know one person who’s the absolute smartest!

118. What is your most embarrassing memory?

Probably that one time at Comic con when i had a skirt-too-short problem (bless my backpack and the random leggings i had shoved in there for some reason lol), or that one time i got asked for an ID when i tried to buy a beer. At a supermarket. And they still wouldn’t believe me until I showed them my university card as well. (Sad thing is it wasn’t even for me lol)

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

yup, way too often lol

120. What color are most of you clothes?

Black. So many black clothes lol. At least that makes laundry much easier :D

121. Do you like adventures?

Yes!

122. Have you ever been on TV?

Only for some small interview clips when I was in high school lol

123. How old are you?

124. What is your favorite quote?

“Sometimes, I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living”

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods?

I don’t like sweet stuff much so savoury! OK, NOW, WHO TO TAG~

Squad, do it if you’re up for it @ibreathestucky @faded-r0ses @now-this-is-wtf (esp. you Guac I know you’re a free potato now with exams over~), and my tumblr buddies @maristine, @wipengineer (and yes i know u got the google doc but hey! :D), @the-blood-in-your-bruise and honestly, whoever else wants to do it, that’s it, you’re tagged by me hahah ^^

#get to know me tag #ofc you don't have to do it if u don't want to @the tagged ppl! <3

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