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zombiesbecrazy · 6 years

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Toasting to Robins

Summary: Jason, Dick and Damian spend an evening together, toasting the fallen.

Takes place between Detective Comics 940 and 965 and before Batman Rebirth 16.

Word Count: 2383

AO3

“Alright. You get one free shot. Punch me in the face.”

“What?”

When Dick had opened his front door that night he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but Jason Todd telling him to hit him was pretty far down the list, right below Alfred showing up and asking for his help in preparing Thanksgiving dinner in April. It wasn’t completely unheard of for the two of them to settle their differences with their fists, but Dick didn’t have the slightest idea what this was about because as far as he was aware, he and Jason were currently on pretty good terms.

Jason pushed past Dick and walked into the apartment, spinning around to glare at him. “When you came back from Spyral, I punched you in the face for faking your death.”

Dick closed the door and narrowed his eyes at Jason. “And?” This wasn’t the first time that the two of them had discussed his time as a spy, but other than that first encounter on the rooftop they hadn’t talked about the lie that led him there. Jason had been angry but with everything that had happened afterwards, Dick had thought that particular issue was over.

“You never mentioned that you actually died, you ass.” Jason had started pacing back and forth across the living room. “That means that the punch wasn’t cool and you owe me one.” Dick still looked confused and Jason sighed, apparently annoyed that he was going to have to lay it all out very plainly. He stopped moving directly in front of Dick and gave him a small shove in the chest. “You didn’t deserve to be punched in the face if you actually died.”

“I was only slightly dead. Five, six minutes, tops. It was like I barely lost consciousness.”

Holding up his hand, Jason cut Dick off. “Dead is dead. You get to be in the Dead Robins Club for fulfilling that sole requirement. As president and founding member, I’ll issue you a membership card next week.”

“But I faked staying dead.”

“That would make me a hypocrite because I didn’t let you guys know immediately when I wasn’t dead anymore. And when I did come back, I tried to kill you all multiple times. At least you were being noble and living the 007 lifestyle. Therefore, you owe me one punch to the face.” Jason turned his head and tapped his cheek. “It’s only fair.”

“But I don’t really want to. I would have punched me too. I deserved it for vanishing on you guys.”

“Too bad. In order for us to be square, it needs to be done. Hit me”

“Can I bank it for the future?” Dick leaned against the counter and stared up at the ceiling. This entire conversation was ridiculous. “I don’t want to hit you today, but one day if you do something that really ticks me off, can I use this punch then?”

“Nope.”

“But you punched me out of the blue. You’ll be expecting it if I punch you now. If anything, you should get a spontaneous punch from me.”

Jason’s laugh came out as a snort. “Get real. You had to have known when you showed up that there was a very good chance of me hitting you. I’m just surprised that Timmy didn’t hit you too.”

“Your rules make no sense and lack consistency.”

“Part of my charm.”

“You aren’t going to leave until I hit you, are you?”

“Honestly, I’m not planning on leaving right away. I’ve brought dinner. And drinks. We are going to toast your living status.”

“Don’t get me wrong, because I’m thrilled that you want to hang, but that isn’t necessary.”

“Sure it is. It’s tradition in the Dead Robins Club to drink to the newly resurrected Robin’s health.” Jason jerked his head towards the front door. “The kid is bringing the stuff up from the car.”

“I have so many questions about what you just said.” Dick sighed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to sort his thoughts in his head. “You drank with Damian when he came back?”

“We may have had a glass of wine together.”

“He was eleven.”

“Kid had grown up with the League training him to drink poison. He could survive a little wine.”

“Still…” Dick could remember having sips of alcohol when he was a child, both with his parents and with Bruce, so he couldn’t judge. He especially couldn’t judge when he was faking his death at the time. “Whatever. He’s here?”

At that moment, the front door opened and Damian walked in carrying a few bags, and headed towards Dick’s kitchen. “Of course I am here, Grayson. Traditions are to be respected.” He sets the bags on the counter and examined Jason’s face from a distance. “Did you strike Todd yet?”

“Don’t you start.”

“It’s between the two of you but he seems rather insistent about it. I’m just glad I haven’t missed it.” Damian starts pulling bottles out of one of his bags, setting a six pack of beer and a bottle of whiskey beside him.

“You aren’t drinking those.”

“I didn’t think that you would approve. I brought myself some chocolate milk.” He pulls out a carton and shakes it in Dick’s direction, then pours himself a glass before putting it in the fridge. “However, for your information I have been consuming alcohol since I was six as part of my mother’s training.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Dick turned back to Jason. “Can’t we just skip the violence and just get right to the food?”

“No.”

“I still think this is,” Dick strikes fast and quick, connecting with Jason’s jaw with a loud crack, “a very dumb idea.” It wasn’t quite by surprise, but it was at least unexpected that Dick hit him mid-sentence.

After stumbling back a few steps, Jason straightened up. “Took you long enough. Wasn’t thinking you’d left jab though. You don’t usually southpaw me.” Rubbing his jaw, he nodded, apparently satisfied with this turn of events. “Thanks.”

Damian had a satisfied grin on his face. “I think that was an acceptable hit. I was expecting you to pull your punch a bit, but you didn’t.” He had set out all the food they had brought in the kitchen and was making himself up a plate. Satisfied with his selection, he passed them by to sit on the couch. “I’m going to find us a movie to watch while we eat.”

Dick and Jason took his place in the kitchen and started to serve themselves the food in silence. Dick is about to leave and join Damian when Jason puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Why didn’t you tell me that you actually died?” His voice was low and rough and Dick wondered when Jason had found out because it sounded raw and fresh. After all that had just happened he didn’t expect Jason to be genuinely upset. Maybe on any other day he wouldn’t have been.

“It didn’t seem that important when I came back from Spyral.” Jason’s eyebrows raised and Dick knew he had to explain himself further. He put his plate back down and faced Jason, folding his arms across his chest. “You and Damian. You each died horribly and painfully and were gone for a long time. It was a miracle that one of you came back, let alone both of you, and we are so lucky for that. I was serious when I said my death wasn’t a big deal, at least not compared to what happened to you. I was scared, but I was at peace with it. Bruce was with me and my heart stopping saved everyone else there. I got lucky enough to wake up again right away. I just didn’t think that it really puts us in the same boat. It feels different somehow.”

Closing his eyes, Jason leaned on his hands on the counter and while Dick could hear Damian setting up the TV, the space between himself and Jason was quiet. The silence lasted for a couple minutes until Jason turned back around, but looked at the fridge instead of Dick. “It’s always a big deal, Dick. And it isn’t a competition about whose death was worse or whatever, because obviously I would win.” Dick chuckled softly and Jason’s eyes moved to just over Dick’s shoulder. “I’m glad that it was different for you than it was for us, but I’m still sorry that it happened.” Jason shifted on his feet a bit. “My big brother died. And then he didn’t. And then it turns out that he did after all and I’m upset that I had to find about it by Damian casually mentioning it in conversation when we had breakfast this morning instead of hearing it from you directly.”

“I’m sorry.” Dick grasped one of Jason’s wrists and locked eyes with him. “About everything.” And he was. Sorry about faking his death, lying about his death and for hiding from the family, for Jason finding out about it on today of all days, but for so much more than that. He was sorry for not being a better brother or friend to Jason when he was Robin. For not being on planet when Jason died. For not trying to do more to help when they found out Jason was alive. For fighting with him. For trapping him. For throwing him in Arkham.

For all the times that he had let Jason down.

Sorry didn’t even seem to be the right word to apologize for all the ways that he had failed Jason and he would never be able to make it up to him.

“Me too.” Jason placed his hand on top of Dick’s. “All of it.” And Dick knew that Jason understood what he was trying to say, and that he felt the same for different reasons. It wasn’t forgiveness, but an acceptance on both sides.

“Can it really be that easy?”

“Probably not, but we can pretend.” Jason turned back to the counter and started scooping food onto his plate from the take out containers. For all of this talk about death, there was an elephant in the room that no one had really brought up.

“Are you okay? Today, I mean?”

“I’m alright. Better now that I’m here and not left to my own devices.” Jason picked up his plate and the bottle of whiskey and headed to the living room. “Let’s go eat.”

The three of them sat on the couch, with Jason in the middle, eating and talking in front of the TV playing a movie on low volume. Once the food had been finished, Jason opened the whiskey and poured each him and Dick two fingers worth and muted the TV.

Jason cleared his throat and rapped his knuckles on the coffee table. “I would like to call this meeting of the Dead Robins Club to order. As tradition, a toast to welcome our newest member.” Jason raised his glass. “To Dick Grayson. The first Robin to fly. The third Robin to fall. The third Robin to rise.”

“Cheers.” Dick knocked his drink against Jason’s and Damian’s chocolate milk before downing it.

Jason had brought absolutely terrible whiskey. It tasted a little bit like how Dick thought gasoline probably did and it was a struggle to keep from gagging and from the smirk on Jason’s face, he knew it. Still, that didn’t stop Dick from grabbing the bottle off the floor and pouring them each another drink, and after a moment of hesitation he pours a splash into a glass for Damian.

“Do not mention this to Bruce.” Damian’s eyes widened and mimed locking his lips, making Dick grin and Jason looked absolutely giddy. “I don’t know all the rules to Jason’s club…”

Sniffing his glass, Damian scowled and jerked his head back slightly. “He seems to make them up as he goes. He claims that it’s his right as club president.”

“… but I’d like to make another toast if that’s allowed.” Jason nodded, and Dick raised his glass. “To our lost brother. To Tim. The third Robin to fly. The fourth Robin to fall.” Dick followed Jason’s format, hoping that was alright. All three clinked their glasses again, tipped them back and after a short cough from Damian, settled into a silence. None of them had been there when Tim had died, battling the waves of drones on the Old Wayne Tower rooftop, but Dick had seen the surveillance video. Red Robin had died a hero, saving hundreds of people, but that didn’t help to dull the ache at all.

Neither did the whiskey.

“Drake’s sacrifice was admirable and selfless, but he still deserved better,” said Damian softly, breaking the quiet.

Jason took another sip of his drink before speaking slowly. “Who knows? Maybe someday we’ll get to have one of these nights with him too.” Dick looked at Jason skeptically, who shrugged in return. “When I started out, you told me that being Robin gives you magic and I believed it. I even said it to Bruce once trying to prove a point about something. Maybe coming back is just what we do. Our secret meta power.” Jason was staring off in the distance again, rubbing his fingers against his glass.

“You’re being rather sentimental.”

“I’m allowed to as club president. It’s in the bylaws.” Jason leaned farther back into the sofa and cast his eyes down. “Especially today.”

Leaning over, Dick wrapped his arm around Jason and gave him a gentle squeeze and felt him relax into him. Damian shifted closer and pressed his leg against Jason’s. For all the showmanship of Jason’s arrival at Dick’s apartment, this was the real reason behind tonight’s meeting of the Dead Robins Club even if Jason didn’t want to admit it. The anniversary of the founding of the club. The day that Jason Todd had died alone in a warehouse.

Today he didn’t have to be alone. Not anymore.

“You’re right. It is what we do. We come back. And we have each other.” Dick raises his drink once more and Jason and Damian mirror him, with Damian switching back to his milk. “To Robins who thrive.”

"To us."

#dick grayson #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #dead robins club #batfic #batfamily

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haljordangreenjedi · 7 years

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The Batboys as Older Brothers

-Hope you didn’t want any privacy, because they will always be there snooping.

-And fighting. Play fighting, real fighting, randomly dropping The People’s Elbow. (Superheroes should not be allowed to watch WWE.)

-Obnoxiously singing, claiming they have the voice of an angel.

-Being super annoying, and all of your friends have crushes on your brothers, “So will you please get out before they start drooling?”

-You better hope they never find out you like a guy, because they’ll give you the third degree, run background checks, and use their friends to spy on the guy and any possible dates.

-”Please, [Y/N], we won't be accepting applications for boyfriends until grad school.” “We?” “Yeah. As your brothers we will conduct the screenings.” “Oh my god, I can’t believe you.” “[Y/N], where are you going?” “Alfred!”

-They try and help you with your homework, it’s a hit-or-miss situation.

-”Do you ever knock?”

But let’s not forget the good stuff:

-When you fight, they always apologize first (even if you’re in the wrong), because you’re the kid sister, and they love you.

-They would never date your best friends, that’s just a line that doesn’t need to be crossed.

-Jason is thrilled when you come home from school with the classics, and it’s because of him that your English teachers love you and your analysis is perfect.

-Tim’s always there to fix your laptop when it crashes and you have a deadline to make.

-Damian can be a really menacing shadow when that boy won’t leave you alone at school.

-You have your own personal chauffeurs.

-They are always up for a jam session, and they will blare that new Taylor Swift CD you just got for the entire car ride, singing along at the top of their lungs

-Blackmailing them by threatening to tell Alfred they said a bad word in front of you.

-They taught you how to handle yourself, and others, from a very young age.

-You understand boys a whole lot better than your friends, making you the go-to for advice.

-You could be in a huge fight with friends, and they will always be there to listen and give advice.

-As long as you tell them everything, they’ll return the favor. (It’s a no secrets/no holds barred kind of relationship)

-You know how to manipulate the situation when you’re fighting to get them in trouble.

-After a while, you start to win when you wrestle. “What the hell? Are you using your chin as a weapon??” “Maybe.” “Atta girl.”

-Dick will always let you into his apartment in the middle of the night to eat cereal and just hang out because you’ve missed your eldest brother.

-When you go to college, you can bet money that you will have a sibling dinner every few weeks, so that you all stay in the loop.

-Tim will be there with the coffee for your study sessions... or more accurately, he’ll bring the coffee and there will be a supervisor, because Tim’s coffee concoctions may not have killed him yet but, “No, you are not going to give our baby sister that, we can’t have her dying from caffeine poisoning.”

-If you’re ever in trouble, you can always count on them to have your back.

-They will love you unconditionally from the day you’re born, and swear to protect you. Even when you’re being a royal pain.

#headcannon #tag: batfam #batfam headcanons #batboys #dick grayson #jason todd #Tim Drake #damian wayne #tag: it's a family thing

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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Salma Hayek: Trump couldn’t build a wall without illegal Mexicans’

Her new film, Beatriz at Dinner, already has Oscar buzz. But on top of the acting, Salma Hayek is also saving animals, running charities and beating the hell out of a Trump piata. Johnny Davis meets Hollywoods busiest firebrand

It was after a neighbour shot her dog that Salma Hayek realised Donald Trump would become president.

I thought it was a crazy thing, that it would never happen but then something really tragic happened to me, she explains. I have a ranch in America and a neighbour of mine killed my dog. Hayek, who owns around 50 animals, including 20 chickens, five parrots, four alpacas, two fish, some cats and a hamster, says that Mozart, the tragic German Shepherd in question, had never attacked anyone. And the authorities in dealing with the neighbour, and what he did How is that legal? [Police have said the neighbour shot her dog after he found it fighting with his dogs in his garage.] Just to understand what was the normality of things. I realised in this moment, Oh my God: hes going to win.

Hayek, a Mexican immigrant to America who identifies as half-Spanish and half- Lebanese, lives in London and is married to a Frenchman who happens to be Franois-Henri Pinault, billionaire CEO of the company that owns Saint Laurent, Stella McCartney, Gucci is perhaps uniquely placed to have firm views on Trump, Brexit and immigration, and well get to them.

Hayek is primarily here this morning to talk about her new movie, The Hitmans Bodyguard. We are at a press junket for the film. Elsewhere on the first floor of this smart London hotel are Samuel L Jackson, Ryan Reynolds and Gary Oldman, answering questions. Junkets can be dispiriting, and rapport can be in short supply. That is, unless youre Salma Hayek, whose personality could light up a funeral. She arrives in a riot of black and red polka dots, tottering shoes and glossy hair, 5ft 2in and somehow 50 years old, although agelessly beautiful. She plonks herself into an armchair, hoists her legs up, and proceeds to tug the small table between us towards her. Do you mind? Theyre bringing me food. I like my food.

Hasnt she had breakfast?

I did but Im still hungry, she grins.

A round of avocado on toast is spirited into the room, accompanied by a mystery shake in a plastic container. (A second round soon follows.) Famous since she was a soap star in Mexico in her 20s and with 40-plus Hollywood films to her name, Hayek has done literally thousands of interviews. What does she make of the publicity circuit?

Im good! she says. I just pretend Im having a conversation with a new friend.

Other half: Hayek and her billionaire husband Franois-Henri Pinault. Photograph: Tony Barson Archive/WireImage

Indeed, Hayek proves impossible not to like. She may be the perfect chat-show guest: various presenters have hooted along as shes shown off pictures of her Donald Trump piata, discussed her experience as a late-developing teen immersing herself in holy water and praying to Jesus for breasts, or confessing she accused Monsieur Pinault of having an affair after discovering text messages from Elena, only to discover Elena was a language-teaching app.

In fact, we have Pinault to thank for Hayeks turn in The Hitmans Bodyguard. The comedy-action caper is basically a mismatched buddy movie for Jackson and Reynolds, hitman and bodyguard respectively. Hayek is only in a few scenes, but as Jacksons imprisoned criminal wife she matches him profanity for profanity.

I think Salma steals the whole movie, says director Patrick Hughes. I challenge anyone not to fall in love with her because (a) shes a polymath and (b) she kicks ass.

I have to tell you: action is not my favouritest [sic] genre of films, Hayek says. But I married a man who really likes them. So I became an expert. So I see them all!

The image of fashions most powerful CEO spending his downtime like this is intriguing. What is his favourite action movie?

Oh, its like Sophies choice for him, I think.

What about Die Hard, I suggest.

Oh, he loves Die Hard. But we love Bourne. She claps her hands. Sometimes he doesnt even like [a film], he says: Oh my God, that was so bad! But he still has to watch the whole thing.

Its a man thing, I say.

Yes! My brother likes that one, my father likes that one and because of that, when we were doing [The Hitmans Bodyguard] I was able to say it was going to work, because it had a lot of the stuff that the good ones have.

Mexican heroine: Hayek playing Frida Kahlo in Frida with Alfred Molina as Diego Rivera.

Similarly, do actors always know when theyre making a turkey?

Oh yeah! Hayek says, crunching through her toast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. And unfortunately Ive never been wrong!

Her CV is mixed. The first Mexican actress to break into Hollywood since Dolores del Ro in the pre-sound 20s, shes played a lesbian taco in the kids film Sausage Party and so-so roles in films such as Spy Kids 3D and Wild, Wild West. But she also earned an Oscar nomination for Frida, her 2002 portrait of Frida Kahlo, and The Hollywood Reporter has just tipped her for 2018s awards season for Beatriz At Dinner, in which she plays an immigrant who clashes with a self-made billionaire.

At first, she says, she hated being famous. This was terrifying because in Mexico when you do a soap, at this point she leaps out of her chair and heads for the door Dont worry, Im not escaping Hello? Her security guard appears with a pack of American Spirit cigarettes. My soap was seen by 60% of the country, so its every day, in their house. Do you mind? Do you want one? she says, offering the smokes. So you become very familiar, like youre their cousin or something. Ive never been so famous since. I kind of hated it.

Taking aim: Hayek in The Hitmans Bodyguard. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

If she hated the attention so much, I wonder why she headed for Hollywood. But Hayek is battling with the curtains while she attempts to heave open a sash window so that she can smoke, unlit fag in her mouth. Not relishing the idea of Hayek tumbling on to the streets below, it seems only polite to help. For a few seconds she holds back the curtains, while I struggle to wrench the window.

Oh my God, that was so easy, she says. I really did want to be an actress, not just be famous. Its a different thing. Because I was famous on a soap! That doesnt make you a great actress. So I went to America to start all over again.

This was the 90s. She played extras and enrolled in the Stella Adler Academy Of Acting in LA, alma mater to Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro. And this is how old I am, she [Adler] was still alive! She was 90 and she was still teaching and flirting with the young boys. She was a tough cookie but she was brilliant.

Hayek could barely speak the language – My English sucked worse, there werent any parts. Mexican women played maids or gangsters wives. And thats if you got lucky.

Hayek threatened legal action against one director.

I was screen-testing for the lead in a film and they said that it was not written Latin, but they wouldnt mind changing it. I learned the script but when they sent me the pages [for the audition] there was none of the things I had learned, it was another role. So my agent called them and they said, Are you crazy? Shes Mexican. We can change [the race of] the bimbo, but not the lead.

Fashionista: at Stella McCartney, spring/summer 2016, Paris fashion week. Photograph: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/Getty Images

She got her agent to call back. Would they please just give her five minutes to audition for the part shed learned?

And they said, Absolutely under no circumstances. So I said, OK, you tell them that they either see me, or Im going to sue them. And they said, Theres no point in her coming, even if she had been the best audition she would have never gotten the part but now we hate her. Does she want to come knowing that we detest her? They kept her waiting for five hours. They wondered why would she do this to herself.

Ive never said this to anyone, the name of the director, but it was Ivan Reitman. And I said, Well, I thought that the director that could see Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as twins [1988s Twins], and Arnold Schwarzenegger giving birth to a child [1994s Junior] maybe could see a Mexican as a fashion editor. I thought I owed it to the new generation of Mexicans. That if I got this right, maybe something will shift.

Years later, she bumped into Reitman and he apologised. We had such a lovely conversation, he was so elegant, Hayek says. He said, I was wrong.

All of this pales next to the hill she climbed for Frida.

I was obsessed, Hayek says. I was endeavouring to do a film about an artist in a time when all the films about artists had failed. Already [the studios] were going, Oh no. Then Id say, Its a period piece about Mexicans! And theyre communists! Its a love story between an overweight man and a woman that limps and has a moustache!

Committed: Hayek campaigning for womens empowerment with Guccis Frida Giannini and Beyonc. Photograph: Ian Gavan/Getty

One studio did eventually take it on, Edward Norton (her partner at the time) rewrote the script for free and Hayek called in favours from co-stars including Ashley Judd, then one of Hollywoods most bankable faces. It opened in two cinemas. Its success, I suggest, must have been all the sweeter.

Yes, she says. Because [the studio] dismissed it. I didnt even have a poster!

It may not surprise you to learn that Hayek is a committed activist: her list of charitable endeavours is too long to go into here, but it includes her own foundation helping women and children in Mexico, and the feminist charity Chime For Change, founded with Beyonc. Its so massive I dont even know what to tell you. I dont just do awareness, I actually do strategy. Im on the board. It takes a lot, a lot, a lot of time.

Other projects receiving the full force of the Hayek commitment include her range of nutritional juices, and a beauty line which she created herself. She also has her own production company, which helped turn the TV show Ugly Betty based on a Colombian telenovela into a worldwide hit. I ask where this drive comes from.

Its been there since Ive been a child. A sense of justice and responsibility for the human race. How can we be better? Because a lot of people dont think that way. They think: How can I pay less tax? And so when I see things that make me think we are degrading and degenerating mentally it makes me want to do something.

She has been hugely successful. Shes married to one of the worlds richest men. (Their daughter, Valentina, attends school in London.) She could just put her feet up. Of course, its a cheap question we already know the answer.

Why would anybody want to sit around and do nothing?

Hayek says that she made it clear she would always remain financially independent from her husband, whose net worth is around $17.3bn. Which may explain money-job films like Sausage Party.

Mirror mirror: Hayek guest stars in Ugly Betty with America Ferrera. Photograph: Danny Feld/ABC

At the time I met him, I had already decided I didnt want one of those [ie a husband], she says. I had set myself up for a completely different life. I was ready to live on my ranch that is a sanctuary for abused animals. I would come to LA and work a little bit. I was not planning on spending. I had no interest in jewellery or clothes or cars. I had everything I wanted. Maybe I had a guy here or there. I also thought I couldnt have children. Then he [Pinault] came along, swept me off my feet, changed my entire universe and knocked me up.

Can she remember what they first liked about one another?

Yes. I asked him, if he had not been doing what he was doing, what would have been his dream? And he said an astronaut and that was my dream! Then we started talking about different theories of physics, which is my secret passion. And soccer! Im a huge soccer fan [she supports Arsenal]. Just random things that nobody knows I like. It was just magical.

As a global citizen at a time when the world seems to be closing in on itself, is Hayek optimistic for the future?

Very optimistic. I have to look for the positive about everything.

Hayek campaigned for Clinton. Hows it going to end for Trump?

I can promise you hes not going to build the wall. You cannot build it without the Mexicans that are illegally in the country. That is what makes the economy so strong because they are paid less than half, with no benefit. Its just not going to happen!

Hayek is banging her fist on the table.

His days are numbered! Even if he becomes a dictator and rewrites the constitution and now the presidents can stay 12 years! Still his days are numbered!

Salma Hayek: activist, actor, producer, juicer, businesswoman, friend to the animals and all-round proper laugh. You wouldnt mess.

The Hitmans Bodyguard is in cinemas on 17 August