#the very teensiest of spoilers

[syneilesis]

Thoughts about Clavis route

I finished Clavis's route yesterday! I chose Dramatic ending and am now playing it again for the Romantic ending route.

Bullet points because I can't write coherently right now lol. Spoilers ahead!

I love Clavis's route?! I feel like it has the best writing among the available routes so far. I like how they wrote the MC here. Usually in other routes there are some aspects in the MC where I kind of got annoyed with but not here in Clavis's route! So I like that very much. MC is a tsundere! LOL

Much as I like Clavis, I came out of playing this route LOVING CHEVALIER MORE LOL. In every other princes' routes, he's the highlight for me. I just love him so much. I love him, your honor. CHEVALIER LIGHT OF MY LIFE. I have no intelligent comment to contribute lmao. Every time he shows up I'd get the urge to offer my body and soul to him. Stab me with your bloody sword, you towering iceberg bibliophile.

MC AND CHEVALIER AS BOOK BFFs YES PLEASE (and how jealous Clavis is YES JEALOUSY GIMME GIMME)

This route made me appreciate Leon's faction, surprisingly! I feel that in their breakfast interviews I managed to glean more on what they want to do for their kingdom than in their own routes lol. At the very least I have a concrete idea now on what they want. Why is it that I get more glimpses of their politics in the routes of the foreign affairs faction lol

Why do the princes in foreign affairs faction have better political plots I very much enjoy them

Chev's mother and Clavis's mother were lesbians and they loved each other.

Among the new characters, I'm eyeing Silvio because he's voiced by Satou Takuya, but I'm intrigued by Gilbert! In the trailer that first introduced them, I wasn't really interested in Gilbert, but now, with what is shown so far, I am curious!

CHEVALIER vs GILBERT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT (Team Chev all the way, of course)

Re Chevalier and Clavis's relationship: I had an inkling that Chevalier values Clavis as an individual, so I'm happy that it's confirmed!

The reveal that Clavis being a kind and compassionate prince underneath that scoundrel persona ... I know that he's supposed to be a foil to Chevalier, the opposite of cold logic and reason, I understand it, really. But -- and this is just my personal taste talking -- I'm the teensiest bit disappointed LOL. I get it, I really do. He's an analogue of ikesen Mitsuhide even, what with those blatant similarities in the first chapter and sticking to his own beliefs and convictions. I guess I was hoping for a more morally ambiguous motivation to his character. I do kind of notice that the princes, pared down to their essential motivations and character, are good and kind (I think it's an executive decision by Cybird to design characters [many, but not all] that come from the original position of goodness/kindness but are morally ambiguous in their actions -- I'm looking at you, Nobunaga, Vlad, Kicho, Motonari, Mitsuhide, Lancelot, etc.). Only Chevalier doesn't have that compassion and kindness the others have; his is more a question of practicality than morality. Come to think of it, Chevalier is an analogue of Nobunaga, so the parallels between Chevalier+Clavis and Nobunaga+Mitsuhide are notable. I don't actually know where I'm going with this lol. But I love Clavis as a character! I guess the dramatic ending plot didn't completely vibe with me (interfering in the affairs of another nation-state without their consent just invites disaster; Clavis is so fucking lucky this is his own route lmao).

What vibed with me, however, was that until the end of the route, they haven't properly confessed to each other! MC held on to her tsun till the last chapter. This is where Clavis has the advantage against Chevalier hahaha. I was slightly dissatisfied with how MC's confession took place in Chev's route.

Chapter 19 was hilarious because MC and Clavis were having a lovers' quarrel WHILE CHEVALIER WAS JUST A FEW FEET AWAY. Poor Chev, he just wants to read in peace 😂 He's truly the long-suffering brother, having to endure his brothers' shenanigans.

Clavis being a studious nerd is so precious. He just wants to prove himself! 🥺

I probably have other thoughts but these are all that I can remember right now. Anyhoo, tl;dr: I love Clavis's route! It has solid writing and I enjoyed it very much.

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #clavis route spoilers

[ao3feed-romione]

Like a Promise

Like a Promise by Anonymous

Hermione is very supportive. Because Hermione is a great friend, Ron—Ronnie? She hasn't decided yet—reminds herself. She doesn't like her like that. Or does she? (Spoiler alert: she does!)

Written for HP Trans Fest 2023

Words: 1492, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger

Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley

Additional Tags: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Trans Ron Weasley, Trans Female Character, First Kiss, Getting Together, First Love, Acceptance, gender euphoria, Fluff, A teensiest bit of Angst, Mentioned Lavender Brown/Parvati Patil, Past Hermione Granger/Viktor Krum, Past Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46131841

#AO3 Feed #Romione FanFic #♥ #Romione #R:Teen #A:Anonymous #Year 5 #Fluff

[shenspeaker]

Everything Everywhere All at Once Review

How is this movie not trending? It’s the hottest shit happening in 12 genres simultaneously. It’s everything we wish movies could be all the time, ground-breaking, out of the box, POC-led, tearjerking, queer, well-handled, mind-blowing, fucking fun, and a clear labor of love by every member of the cast and crew, a small company knockout in an era of big-studio blockbusters.

It’s Turning Red, it’s the Matrix, it’s Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, it’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it’s The Farewell, it’s Community, and so much more, and somehow, impossibly, it kicks ass on every front at once.

It’s a love letter to Michelle Yeoh that finally lets her be everything she can be, it’s Jonathan Ke Quan finally getting a chance to explode back to the screen in one of my favorite characters of all time (and the only successful now-they’re-sexy glasses removal in cinema history). Stephanie Tsu kicks ass, represents despair, wears every bitching outfit you ever wanted to, becomes a being of ultimate omniversal power, cries, would maybe rather be a rock, and is gay, representing an entire generation of millennials who feel like they’ve seen too much to ever go back.

If you haven’t seen this movie, you should. It’s everything everywhere all at once.

#everything everywhere all at once #eeaao #the very teensiest of spoilers #eeaao spoilers #michelle yeoh #stephanie tsu #ke huy quan #evelyn wang #waymond wang #joy wang #jobu tupaki #not shen #movie review

[dlwritings]

Ashamed | Dean Winchester

masterlist found here

pairing - Dean x reader word count - 2,626 warnings - rape mention A/N - What has two thumbs and started watching Supernatural? THIS GIRL. I’m only on Season 5 so my knowledge of the entire show is still in the early stages, but we love. I usually make gifs to go with these but I’m terrified that I’ll see a spoiler for the show, so here we are.

summary - You’re haunted by something from your past... Just not in the way you’re used to.

None of the boys knew what happened to you.

Not Cass, Sam, or Dean.

And you were very content on keeping it that way.

It happened the year you started hunting with them. The year Dean showed up at Sam’s doorstep so the pair could start searching for John. They went to you, looking for a third person to add to their pair. They had both known you since you were kids, but you had all lost touch. Dean heard the rumors that you had grown up to be quite the hunter, so he was hoping you’d join. Of course, you said yes, because you had always had the teensiest crush on Dean. Plus, John had saved your ass more times than you could count, so you owed him a debt.

The night after your first hunt as a team, you went out to a bar. The three of you shared some drinks and some laughs before Dean caught eyes with the busty brunette bartender. As soon as he had his mind set on her, it was like you and Sam were invisible. Your heart -the one that was still apparently pining after Dean- couldn’t handle watching him flirt with someone else. So you downed the rest of your drink before standing up from the barstool. You weren’t even drunk yet, so you couldn’t mask the sadness as effortlessly. Sam looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and stood up as well. “No, stay here,” you said, patting his chest and pushing him back down. “I’m just tired.”

“(Y/N),” Sam said gently. “Don’t let him get to you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said to Sam.

“Come on,” Sam scoffed. “You haven’t been able to take your eyes off him all day.”

You rolled your eyes. “I just wanna go to bed.” Sam sighed.

“At least let me walk you back to the motel,” he said.

“I want to be alone,” you said firmly. “Just give me some space, okay?” Sam pressed his lips into a tight line, knowing better than to argue, and nodded.

“Just let me know if you want me to come back,” he said. You nodded, placed a kiss to his cheek, and headed back to the motel.

That was all the boys knew of what happened that night. As far as they knew, you were in bed, safe and sound, ten minutes later.

But that wasn’t what happened.

On your walk back to the hotel, you noticed you were being followed. You tried to speed up your steps, but the guy following you was quicker. Before you knew it, he grabbed you by your waist, put his hand on your mouth, and dragged you into an alley. You barely had any time to register what was happening before your skirt was pushed up your hips and your panties were ripped off and thrown off to the side.

You had never been so ashamed.

The boys had no idea what happened to you, and you were very content on keeping it that way.

That night was a thing of the past. It had been four years since then, and it was nothing but a distant memory you were keen on forgetting. When you and the boys found yourselves in that same town, it hadn’t even registered that that was where it had happened until you were driving and passed the alleyway. Still, you refused to dwell. This was a job, not a walk down pity-party memory lane.

There had been vicious murders in the town over the past few weeks, and the three of you knew it was signs of a vampire. You had been able to track the vampire to the abandoned house it was residing in, so that was where the three of you went. You were prepared. You each had machetes in your hands, your guards up high.

But you weren’t prepared for what was actually inside.

You got into the house and closed the door quietly. You knew a few girls had gone missing, and you were hoping to find them somewhere in the house. “You check upstairs,” Dean said to Sam. “We’ll-”

“Oh, there’s no need to search for me.”

You all turned to face the direction where the voice came from, and you immediately froze. “Glad to see you recognize me, sweetheart,” the guy said to you, a smirk on his face. He made a run towards you, but Dean stepped in his path, punching him in the face. The vampire fought back, and Sam was quick to aid his brother. You felt frozen. You needed to help.

Why aren’t you helping?

He was able to knock Sam and Dean to the ground with too much ease for your liking before he approached you. You could feel tears prickling in your eyes as he walked up to you.

Why aren’t you moving?

His face was the face that had been haunting your dreams for four years. It was the face that scared you more than any demon, ghost, or creature you had ever encountered.

It was your rapist.

“I know what you’re wondering,” he said, a shit-eating grin on his lips, “but no, I wasn’t like this when we last met.” He got closer to you, pressing his nose to your neck and inhaling your scent. “I got changed about a month after that. And I’ve been doing real good these past few years, keeping hunters like you and your boys off my trail. Usually I smell the hunters miles off and I move on. But when I caught your scent-” He laughed. “-it took me right back to that day, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go on without another taste. A-” He hesitated and grinned at you again. “-different kind of taste. So I thought I’d stay right here and let you find me.”

Punch him! Do something!

Your machete was still in your hand, but you were frozen in fear. “I know you won’t do what needs to be done,” he taunted, both of his hands moving over yours. “You know how I know that?” He was quiet, but you didn’t answer. “Because I scare you. I scared you then, and I scare you now.”

Just as he opened his mouth and bared his teeth at you, Sam pulled him away from you. He delivered a punch to his face and Dean swung the machete, slicing his head clean off. You sunk to the floor and hurled, clutching your stomach as tears pooled in your eyes.

“(Y/N)?” Dean said, worry laced in his voice. He crouched beside you, and you just fell against him, sobs shaking your body.

You missed the look of confusion Dean shared with his brother.

Dean lifted you off the ground and carried you over to the Impala. Sam checked the house for the missing girls, came up empty, and joined the two of you in the car. He got in the driver’s seat while Dean sat in the back with you, holding you on his lap.

Dean hated seeing you like this. Granted, Sam did too, but it was different for the elder. The way he felt about you was different than the way Sam felt about you, and it had been for sometime now. He was just too scared to admit it. Even Sam knew that.

When you got back to the motel, Sam retreated to the room he shared with Dean while Dean brought you to yours. He helped you onto the bed and got you a water bottle you left in the minifridge. “Drink this,” Dean said, handing it to you. You did so without arguing and refusing to meet your eyes with Dean’s. All Dean wanted was for you to look at him so he could search your eyes for something to tell him you were okay. You wouldn’t. Finally, Dean moved his hand to your chin, and you flinched away. “Sweetheart,” Dean breathed out, almost in disbelief, “you gotta tell me what’s going on.”

“No,” you whimpered, your voice cracking as you shook your head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Dean asked. “You froze up back there. I’ve never seen you do that.” You finally looked at Dean as tears fell from your eyes. “He said you’d met before,” Dean said, moving his hand hesitantly towards your face. He was afraid you’d flinch away again, so he gave you a moment to move if you wanted to. When you didn’t, he wiped the tears from your cheeks. “How’d you know him, (Y/N)?”

You breathed in through your nose and let out a puff of air through your lips. You wiped the back of your hand against your nose and swallowed thickly. “About four years ago,” you said, “the last time we were here, do you remember that?”

“Sort of,” Dean said.

“We went out to a bar,” you said, “and I, I left you and Sam there. You-” You scoffed. “You were being classic Dean, chatting up some girl.” Dean’s face dropped a bit as he hung his head.

Dean didn’t like who he was back then, mostly because he was only doing it to block out how he felt about you. Those random hook-ups never meant a thing. They were just ways to kill the lust since he knew you would never love him.

“And,” you continued, “when I was walking back to the motel-” Your lower lip started to shake, so you bit it and tried to catch your breath. “This guy -that guy- he um, he pulled me into an alley.” Dean looked back up at you, anger flooding his eyes. You cleared your throat and looked away from him. “He, he raped me?” You weren’t sure why it came out as a question, but it did. “And-” More tears slid down your cheeks as you shook your head in shame. “-I didn’t even fight him. I just, I just let him do it.” You put your forehead in your hands, not wanting to look at him.. “Dean I was so afraid.” Dean moved closer to you and put his arm around you, pulling you against his chest.

“Why didn’t you ever tell us?” he asked you, running his fingers through your hair.

“I’m so ashamed,” you said, shaking your head and furrowing your eyebrows. “I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak.”

Dean sighed. “(Y/N)-”

“I’m a hunter,” you said before he could say anything else. “I’m supposed to be strong. I fight, I fight demons and, and ghosts but-” You scoffed. “-I couldn’t even fight off a human? It’s so stupid.”

“Hey, no, don’t say that,” Dean said, holding you even closer. He pulled you onto his lap and moved so he could lean against the headboard of the bed. “This, this is way different than what we deal with. Hell, it’s like I’ve always said. People are crazy.” You managed a laugh in the midst of how much you were crying. “You shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t put up any fight,” you said. “I should’ve put up a fight. I froze, just like I did when I saw him at the house. Hell, he was a vampire, and I knew what I was supposed to do. I had my machete and everything. I didn’t do anything.”

“You were scared,” Dean said. “It’s okay to be scared.”

“I’m so angry,” you said. “Ever since it happened, it feels like there’s, there’s this part of me that isn’t right. Like I’m broken or something.”

“You’re not broken,” Dean said.

“It’s so easy for you to say that,” you scoffed, looking up at him and wiping away some tears.

“You’re right,” he said. He pushed some hair behind your ear. “And I can’t even begin to know what you’re going through. What I do know is-” He scoffed. “-I’ve been to hell and back, but going through something like you did? And still going on with your life? That makes you so strong.”

Dean pressed a soft kiss to your temple, and you sighed and relaxed a bit against his chest. “How can I help you?” he asked. You sniffed and gave him an embarrassed smile.

“Can you stay with me?” you asked. “I just-” You sighed. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Course sweetheart,” he said, pressing another kiss to your temple. “Why don’t you go on and get ready for bed? I’ll be right here when you get back.”

You did as Dean said, going into the bathroom to put on pajamas and take a shower. When you came back, true to his word, he was lying under the covers. His hair was a little wet, so you assumed he had gone back to his room to shower. He didn’t have a shirt on, and you figured he was wearing his boxers under the covers, knowing that was what he usually slept in. You tucked some hair behind your ears awkwardly, folded your clothes, and put them in your suitcase. Cuddling wasn’t uncharted territory with you and Dean. Hell, sharing a bed wasn’t even uncommon. Something about this felt different though. Maybe it was the confession you had just given him or how sweet he was during it, but you felt vulnerable. Dean noticed your borderline nervousness and tilted his head to the side in confusion. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you said with a shake of your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, come on, sweetheart,” he said, patting the bed beside him. You smiled and walked over to him, sliding into bed beside him. Dean pulled you close to his chest, and you sighed contently at the feeling of his arms around you.

“(Y/N)?” Dean whispered suddenly.

“Yeah?” you asked. 

“I’m never gonna let anything happen to you, okay?” he said. “Hell, I know you can hold your own just fine, but-” Dean cleared his throat and squeezed you tighter to him. You turned on your side and rested your hand on Dean’s stomach. You subconsciously traced your fingers in random shapes across his skin, and you swore you saw his muscles tense.

“But what, Dean?” you pressed. Dean looked down at you, his eyes flickering between yours, before putting his fingers on your chin and pulling your lips up to meet his. You put your hand on his cheek and kissed him back. Dean rolled over and hovered over you, grabbing your free hand and lacing your fingers with his. The kiss didn’t feel like what you expected kissing Dean to be like. Not that you thought about kissing him often. But when you did, you expected it to be rough and fast. You never expected Dean to be so soft and caring. The way he used his free hand to caress your cheek, and the way his tongue moved gently against yours. It was all enough to make you melt.

You practically whined against his lips when he pulled away, smiling and resting his forehead against yours. Dean licked his lips and hung his head a bit, still smirking slightly. You smiled and played with the string of his necklace at the back of his neck. He looked up at you again and cleared his throat. “I am never gonna let anything happen to you,” he said again. “Not ever, alright?”

“Okay,” you breathed out, feeling some heat rise to your cheeks.

“Okay,” Dean repeated with a nod.

Dean laid back down beside you, and you turned so your back was to him. He wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your neck. “Get some sleep, sweetheart,” he muttered in your ear. “I’ll fight anything that comes to get ya.”

----- ----- ----- -----

TAGLIST

@bangtan-serendipity | @planetdemon | @the-singing-clown406 | @tomshufflepuff | @bluelalal | @grandloser | @jackiehollanderr | @mindset-jupiter | @bisexual-sk8r | @feel-like-gold | @runaway-apple | @miraclesoflove | @marvelismylifffe| @wonderbyers | @coraz0ndcristal| @lizmarvel | @delicately-important-trash

#supernatural #supernatural imagine #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst

[theoldgods]

I got thirsty for more after the season 2 finale, so here’s a pretty immediate continuation! About a thousand words, nothing heavier than some teen/PG-13 stuff, but cut for length and spoilers.

Pauline and Derek leave quickly enough (Pauline still wearing a slightly manic smile that disturbs Cathy more than any of her frowns), and though Reg and Maureen are as slow as one might expect, they too clear out fairly easily once the fireworks (and five or six rounds of sparklers—Cathy’s not sure where they came from, but Kelly is determined to use them all) have ended. Jason will not stop shooting glances her way, all through sparklers and mouthfuls of marshmallows, and his shamelessness (tinged, she hopes, with the teensiest bit of doubt now) continues even when it’s just the four of them still in the house.

Michael, miraculously, doesn’t leave, doesn’t even try to come up with an excuse. He busies himself with putting out the fire and tells Jason, quite firmly, to help Kelly finish packing. Cathy deposits the half-empty marshmallow bag and assorted other crap in the kitchen and then, hearing Jason’s footsteps ascending the stairs, darts back outside, her heart pounding in her chest.

He’s still there, breaking up logs, and though the fire is low, it’s not yet out. Cathy slides her hand against the thick warmth of his parka, and he jumps.

“Christ.”

“Just me.” Her cheeks ache from her own absurd grin. “Can I have your hand again for a moment, before he comes back?”

Michael offers it without a word, his eyes bright and overlarge, though apparently now fully dry. She wraps her fingers around his knuckles and squeezes until he laughs.

“All right, Cath?”

Her heart flips at the warmth of his voice, the tenderness he can’t keep from her name. “Jason is wrong.” Might as well come out with it at once, though Michael’s eyes do somehow manage to widen further. “I meant what I said. I need you.” She’s pretty certain he understood that, earlier, but it doesn’t really do to assume anything anymore. She swallows before adding, “I want you, what you can give, outside your girls, of course. If that’s okay with you.”

“I haven’t changed.” His smile makes her close her eyes for a moment in satisfaction, before she forces them open, lest she miss any bit of his face looming closer to hers. “I don’t want to make it hard on the lad.”

“Might be a bit hard, at first,” she says, rubbing her thumb across the back of his hand. “For him. Maybe for us, too, as we...adjust, though it feels so...natural. But we’re patient, yeah? And if we don’t try, I—” it’s here that her voice sticks in her throat for a moment, and Michael squeezes her hand back, a reassuring pressure, though he remains blessedly silent “—I think I will regret it every single day I have left.”

The fire pops, and she flinches, though she keeps her eyes on Michael’s. They used to make eye contact all the time, she knows—well, a normal amount of time, a proper amount of time for good friends, without ever second-guessing it—but at some point it became so very much to handle, a painful jerk across her chest, and it’s been months since she’s allowed herself a good hard stare. Her lungs spasm as their gaze continues, but the raggedness is overlaid with a touch of something sweet.

“When I said I wanted to talk about it, all those months ago—”

“Four months,” she adds, and he shoves his shoulder against her, so playfully she could choke on her own delight, and then leans further in until there’s a mere inch or so between their faces and she’s going cross-eyed trying to meet his eyes.

“—I was foolish, yeah? Bad timing. I’m sorry for that.”

“But you still want—”

“I want you to come to Spain, alone. To a bloody nice restaurant, alone. To your garden, alone.”

“Let’s start at the end of your list.”

She slides her free hand against his cheek, stroking across his nose with her thumb, and when he doesn’t pull away, she presses her lips to his.

She means it to be quick, tender, meaningful, whatever a proper first kiss should be. She finds her stomach a yawning hole of desire, so wide that it makes her stumble against him, and he puts a hand across the top of her arse to steady her and she’s shivering and parting her lips until he gasps.

“Ye want tongue already? Can I call ye a minx?”

His accent is deep, reverberating throatily and close to her ear, the warm pattering banter she knows so well and yet gets to taste now, and it makes her lower abdomen tingle. She giggles as she presses a very chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Better?”

“I liked the first just fine.”

She cannot stop smiling even through their next kiss, and the next, two short and sharp and delicious bits that make her fingers twitch. It’s on their fourth kiss, both of their mouths open though neither tongue moving, Michael’s hand drifting toward the hem of her jumper, that she hears Kelly obliviously shouting her name.

“Tomorrow?” she asks as she pulls away, interlacing her fingers with his while he stands there breathing deeply in and out and smiling at nothing, or at her, or maybe at just everything, the way she knows she is. “After they get squared away. I’ll text you. Even if they don’t get it entirely sorted. Actually, I’ll just text you tonight as soon as you leave, and then before I fall asleep, and then…”

Kelly’s shout doubles in volume.

“Go,” he says, laughing, pushing her toward the house, his hand skimming her lower back. “And please. I’ll be waiting in your garden, and if they don’t let you back outside, I’ll be waiting by my phone.”

She starts for the door, then turns, almost automatically, to give herself another long, fresh look at him illuminated by the dying fire. The smile they share keeps her too happy even to cry.

#mum #cathy walker #michael roberts #cathy x michael #mum bbc #mine

[the-desolated-quill]

Stewardess Interruptus - Lucifer (TV Series) blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I’m not happy guys.

For starters I’ve had a bad case of flu, so I’ve been feeling like crap for the past week, but also what with Quid Pro Ho and now this episode, I feel this show is starting to take a turn in a direction I REALLY don’t like.

Let’s be clear here. I think Stewardess Interruptus is a downright terrible episode for multiple reasons, and the thing that strikes me about it the most is how completely and utterly pointless it is. Lucifer and Chloe are about to kiss only to be interrupted by an air hostess (who later shows up dead), at which point Chloe gets up on her high horse, insisting there’s no future between her and Lucifer while he trails behind trying to convince her otherwise. Something he fails to do by the way only for her to then kiss him full on the lips at the end as though nothing had happened. So... why not just end Quid Pro Quo with the kiss and then jump straight to the next episode? What was the point of this? It feels like a gigantic waste of time.

What’s worse is how the mystery is used to explore the characters. While it is great to have official confirmation of Lucifer’s bisexuality at last, I just don’t buy that Chloe would be this shocked by the number of exes and one night stands Lucifer has had. That’s not a secret, surely. She knows what he’s like. Why is it only now becoming an issue? I can understand feeling a bit awkward when your first kiss is rudely interrupted, but this whole barmy idea that they’re not compatible despite the fact the show has been going out of its way to demonstrate their compatibility is just rage inducing. There’s no reason why his lifestyle should be affecting her the way it does. She already knows!

And as for Lucifer, I could weep. I can understand and appreciate them wanting to make him more human, but this is taking the piss. Why would he care that his exes don’t care about him or that the sex was meaningless? He already knew that! Why is it only now becoming an issue? With Chloe it’s different because it’s the first time there’s any emotion or meaning behind it. The idea that this is something he’s always wanted just goes against everything we previously knew about the character.

But wait. It gets worse.

Remember how self indulgent and cringeworthy Quid Pro Ho got with all praises Lucifer and Chloe were giving to each other? Well here we start to see Mum and Amenadiel get in on it too. Granted they have an ulterior motive, wanting to use Chloe to get back to Heaven... somehow, but it’s still a trifle weary to watch. Listening to Mum and Amenadiel describe how wonderful Lucifer is and how great him and Chloe are together all feels just the teensiest bit tacky. I don’t need the show to tell me how great the characters are. I can see that for myself thanks. We don’t need to waste entire scenes with the writers giving themselves a self congratulatory blowjob.

It’s not all bad I guess. The new mystery with those vials is mildly intriguing and I love Maze’s confusion regarding her own amorality. She thinks she’s done something really great by killing Chloe’s dad’s killer and doesn’t understand why she should keep it a secret or why nobody seems happy about it. She then takes the wrong tactic by taking Linda’s advice to heart. Don’t seek approval from others and recognise your own self worth, which turns Maze into an arrogant jackass. Thankfully Lesley Ann-Brandt is able to pitch the performance just right so she’s still funny as opposed to unbearably annoying, but this is ruined too when they bring Dan into the equation. Remember how poorly the reveal Dan slept with Mum was handled? Well they try that again here except they fuck up again by revealing it to the wrong target. Why the fuck would Chloe care?! THEY’RE DIVORCED! Besides, she doesn’t even know the familial connection!

Stewardess Interruptus is filler at its most pointless and at its most obnoxious. I was hoping Quid Pro Quo was just a blip, but this is now causing grave concern. The show is in very serious danger of officially disappearing up its own arsehole because of the whole Deckerstar plot and I hope they can course correct quickly. If we must have Lucifer and Chloe become a thing, just get the fuck on with it so we can move on.

#stewardess interruptus #lucifer #dc #fox #amazon prime #review #spoilers