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delusional-mishaps · 1 year

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Ask and you shall receive ... an ask. Anywho - who are the hunters? Why do they hint the vampires? Is it just an "ahhh scary monster that feeds on us specifically!" Thing or a "social standards dictate you are evil so im revoking your existence privileges. " or smth else like them actually being feral rats? I love social-moral (or whatever its called) lore

YEAS I LOVE YOU ANON/p YOURE SO!!!! SO!!!! idk what you are but i love you very much for asking!!!!

SO!! this is ofc a self insert au because everything i make is self insert now 🙄

sorry if it's scrambled a bit. a lit of this wasn't written down cuz. i was thinking a lot of it during work and therefore couldnt write it down so this is the first time words are getting out of my mind.

if you have any questions please feel free to ask!!!

long post!! so under the cut it goes :]

general world building:

the setting of the story kinda takes place in the past. well... no. it's modern-day, but technilogy hadn't really advanced too much. so it'd be like.. yknow, like when european folk actually believed and were scared of vampires. think maybe a few decades after dracula era (around early-mid 1800's). so ofc the world isn't too advanced yet. theres cars, trains, etc etc, but there certainly isnt the technology now.

im only saying that cuz im non binary and so is my sona (and pj is genderfluid) and i dont want the homophobia/transphobia from back then in my story LMAOOO

of course, that means religion plays a big role in the world. vampires/monsters/other supernatural beings are all considered unholy, or are believed to be created by the devil.

only humans can be vampire hunters, but anyone can be a vampire.

vampires are hunted because, when they had first appeared, they were killing and feeding on humans. they feed off of blood, ofc, and they needed to get it from somewhere, and humans were simply the tastiest option!

humans just sort of... continued killing them because they assumed they would continue feasting off of them, and it was out of fear. no one wanted to die via vampire, or be turned into one, so they'd kill them. vampires continue feasting on humans because if they're gonna be hunted anyway, why not eat good? they know humans won't believe them if they tried to deny eating humans, even if they were telling the trust. such is life.

also!! not only humans can be transformed!! monsters can also be transformed:) (like. the undertale monsters. yea.)

that's why i differentiate monsters vs supernaturals. the monsters are the silly guys from undertale/the aus and supernaturals are.. well.. the things you'd typically find in the show "supernatural" LMAO. vamps, werewolves, shifters, ghosts, demons, djinn, dragons, ghouls, etc.

info about my sona:

so that means... my sona is the vampire hunter! their whole family has been in the business for DECAAAADES. so it's sorta expected of them to also be a vampire hunter!

they're trained from a very young age, and thus are very proficient in many weapons (though, most commonly used vampire-hunting weapons are guns are knives. bullets and blades are all made out of silver that's then blessed by a priest on a full moon! (there's significance to that, but i'll put it in the hunter lore part of the post!!))

jet's specific signature weapon is a revolver! they use it the most, though they've also got a good few other weapons on them, as well. ofc, a few other guns, a few knives, and they even carry a crossbow with them! it's old school, but it gets the job done. another of their signature weapons is a dainty blade their father crafted for them after their first kill! it's infused with the vampire's blood, and even had a crystal made from it's dust!!

as their family has been in the vampire-hunting business for such a long time, they are well known, especially amongst other vampire-hunter groups and older generations of vampires. their great great great great great grandmother was one of the most famous hunters of her time, and her legacy is still shared among other hunter groups. she's the first hunter to have ever killed a vampire royalty :)

they collect the canine fangs from the vampires they kill. they wear them on a necklace and a few belts across their body :) it's a kill count for them, and shows vamps that they're pretty good at their job

vampire hunter lore:

SO. as mentioned above, vamp-killing weapons are produced via a special procedure. the blacksmiths will create the weapons (blades, bullets, even silver-tipped arrows) out of pure silver. the silver is purely because many other supernatural creatures/monsters die via silver, such as werewolves.

this is because silver is considered a "pure metal", and monsters are "impure", so it cleanses them.

these weapons are then blessed by a priest because, again, vampires are impure. they are considered devilish, and evil. having the blessing make the weapons "holy", giving them the purpose to remove the unholy in the name, and with the aid, of the divine.

the full moon only has significance because i think its cool but in the story's lore, it's because the first vampire king was killed on a full moon. it is believed to bless luck upon the wielder of the weapon.

vampire lore:

taking from the original vampireverse, i'm bringing in vampire royalty. and the current king is error :) and ofc his child paperjam!! the main star of the show!!! (aside from my sona ofc)

though, i'm leaving the names from the og behind. i do not care for fallacy and jasper or wtv (i literally only did research on the au earlier when i was storyboarding in my notes app LMFAOO. it was also just a quick glance through fandom wiki cuz i refused to touch rouge's blog HAHAHA) they're just error and paperjam. and everyone else has their regular names too. cuz im kinda lame but whatever

so anyway 😻 about the royal family....

royals are full-blooded vampires, this means they only have born-vampire blood in their family lineage. no human, nor transformed vampire. think pure-bloods from hairy potter i guess. same concept!

this ofc means they're harder to kill. they're more powerful, and they're often far older and more experienced. though... error did inherit the throne rather young, and pj himself is also quite young still, being only maybe a few hundred years old?

this is ofc due to error's father being killed by jet's ancestor. vampire kings have only been know. to die naturally (after a handful of centuries LMAOO) so he was put into power quite young. think the equivalent of a human aged 19 or so, when he'd typically inherit the throne in his late 30's.

now, on to the non-royals...

non-royal vampires can be of any blood status, though they're most commonly not pureblood. they'd be the half-bloods or the transformed (which is what mortals turned vampire are called)

AS this is a monarchy, they have a kingdom. it's actually really big, and it's amazing how none of the hunters have found it yet!!! except no it's not, because they've used magic to hide it :3. humans can only enter the kingdom with a vampire.

the royals live in a big castle at the centre of the kingdom, then the city spreads out. purebloods live closer to the centre, and teansformed live towards the outskirts.

despite this, vampires are a fairly close-knit species. there's only a bit of disconnect between transformed and non-transformed. but that's just cuz transformed are usually snobbish and bitter abt being turned vampire

all of their teeth are fangs and will puncture flesh, but their canines specifically are bigger. they're what sucks out the blood/magic :)

!!! vampires dont just feed on human blood!! the pureblood vamps and the monster vamps both need to feed on magic, as well. while they can get magic out of the blood of their victim, it's easier to just bite into the SOUL. that way, their body doesn't need to consume energy to try to diffuse the magic from the blood!

these vampires need magic because it's how they live. we all know monsters are made from dust and magic, so they need to keep magic going through their systems. as vampires are technically "dead", they cannot produce this magic themselves, and need to source it from somewhere else.

while this may be a horrifying fact, mortal humans and monsters are kept in "feeding houses", for emergencies. if a vamp couldn't feed for a while, they will use the captured mortals to get back to full health.

of course, these mortals usually taste like shit. victims that have never been fed on will taste the best. their blood is unspilled and still "pure". it's yet to be tainted.

now for the storybuilding!! this is info that i'd actually write in a fic if i ever get around to making one...

fic lore:

peej ran away from home because his dad is an ass and doesn't really care about him. he's all like "yeah i'll show YOU, asshole!"

he's also kinda tired of the whole humans vs vampires thing. he doesn't wanna have to rule in a world dominated by humans

so anyway when she (rember pj is genderfluid and uses all pronouns!!) runs away from home they run into the famous vampire hunter... jet!!

they fight and just as jet's about to kill her, she's like "man why's it gotta be this way. why can't we not kill each other?"

jet's like "um... this is literally my job? we hate each other? you kill us?"

pj's all like "well first of all ive never even killed a human so fuck you. second of all, we can change! pls let me go i wont kill you"

jet's distrustful but they don't kill him.

pj sticks with jet for a while. neither of them know why, and they get annoyed at each other a lot. jet continues to kill vamps, pj continues to feed on humans + monsters (but doesnt kill them). they both lowk hate the other, but they agreed not to kill each other so.

then there's like a cheesy scene where they have a heart-to-heart... SOUL-to-SOUL...? whatever. pj's all like "i hate being born into a vampire family. it's so rough. i never wanted this :("

then jet's like. oh. they empathize with peej cuz they were forced into the vampire hunting business because of their family. they never got a choice on what they wanted to do.

then they become friends! very slowly, and they still annoy the hell outta each other, but!! friends :)

then it's adventures together for a bit

and then!!! DRAMA!!!

error forces pj back to the vampire kingdom place. then he tries to convince pj that jet is bad.

"that little 'friend' you made is no good for you. you may trust them, but they're a vampire hunter. they kill us. you know that, paperjam."

"i know! but they're different. they don't even want to be a hunter. they wouldn't kill me."

"you foolish child. you think they're different? they had planned to kill you the whole time! they were just waiting for the perfect opportunity. you're a prince, for fuck's sake! they'd be even more famous for killing you!"

meanwhile jet doesn't know pj is a vamp prince. she never told them and it's not like they've been seen in the public before.

anyway, error eventually convinces pj using magic. pureblood vampires can basically beam images into your head. sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not. this ofc isn't the truth, but pj believes it is.

pj fully believes jet intended to betray them. they believe jet wanted to kill them the whole time and only pretended to be friends to get pj to lower their guard.

this lets error convince him to kill jet.

ofc pj is hurt so they decide to do it. obviously, since jet was so willing to kill her, she should have no problem killing them.

meanwhile jet's retired from vamp hunting. they're shunned and disowned by their family because of it, and now they're basically a wanted criminal because they're going against the Divine by not doing their born-duty to rid the world of the unholy filth.

it was bound to happen sooner or later, though. they were already a blacksheep of the family because as a child then weren't ecstatic about killing vamps. also theyre non binary. their family is kinda lowk homophobic nd will use the wrong pronouns in purpose.

anyway. pj locates them and tries to kill them. theyre all like "dude wtf!! we're friends?? i literally retired bcs of our friendship!"

except bcs they retired when pj was taken back to the vamp kingdkm, she didnt know jet retired! so theyre like "wait huh."

they talk it out and explain both sides of the story. jet's like "your father sounds like a bitch ass mf. i wanna beat him up (respectfully, tho. ur my best and only friend and i wont kill your father.)"

so anyway pj brings them to the vampire kingdom. they meet error

he gets really mad about it. he yells at pj.

"WHY DID YOU BRING A HUNTER HERE. THEYRE GONNA KILL US! THEYRE GINNA TELL ALL THE OTHER HUNTERS WHERE WE LIVE NOW >:("

"un excuse you. that's no way to talk to your child, also i retired. fuck you."

peej decides to show jet around :) mostly the catsle, but they also go into the city, too. he introduces them to a few vamps (probably mostly other sans aus LMAO) and theyre all like "um. thats a vamp hunter? one of the famous ones? you know their ancestor killed ur grandpa, right?"

no one else really likes them. but its okay cuz this story aint about them. die.

then yeah. that's all i got for a story so far :)

anyway yeah!! this is probably a lot, and there will probably be more maybe. but ty anon for asking. i love talking about my sona and aus that i make. and i love creating lore.

#ty so much for asking i lov u so much #anon #anonymous #im so excited to share this i love this concept already and ive had it for. like 12 hours LMAO #jester answers #vampire hunter au #yea im making a tag for that. i may expand upon it.#vampireverse rebrand #LMFAOOO #im stealing it from rouge. MY idea now. FUCK YOU.

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artistsfuneral · 3 years

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no one asked for this but here's Lambert angst, cutagens, tw: for injury and blood, :3 happy ending tho cuz I'm not that mean [more]

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It's a beautiful night. The summer sky above Lambert's head is clear of any clouds making the stars shine bright and clear on the blackness above. To his utter delight, there's fireflies in the forest and now that the sun is down they're swarming in the humid air around him, buzzing and blinking in a steady rhythm. Fireflies remind him of his childhood. Growing up in Kaer Morhen wasn't always good in itself, but Lambert does have good memories, like those of warm summer nights when he, Voltehre and the other boys snuck out of their dorm at night to catch fireflies, moths and frogs by the pond. Now that he's older, Lambert is pretty sure that they never were alone on their adventures. It's hard to belief that none of the older wolves followed them to watch out. But he still holds those memories close to his heart.

There's no pond nearby this time, but Lambert can hear the cicadas in the trees as he blinks up the sky and lets out a shaggy, rattling breath. He's pretty sure one of his ribs fractured his lung, it's a feeling he won't be able to forget for a while. And that's just the irony in itself, isn't it?

A week smile spreads across his face. Fucking werewolves, he thinks and feels the phantom pain of the scar on his temple. A ridiculous notion given the fact that he can feel the summer breeze against his organs. He doesn't want to think about the fact that he can't seem to feel that. He'd rather think about werewolves, because for him, it's always werewolves, as if they hold a personal grudge with him. His first big hunt was a female werewolf, a humongous beast if he remembers correctly. He did kill it, carries the scar against his temple with a certain level of pride, like every witcher does.

He doesn't try to get back to his camp, where his potion back is hidden in a hollow tree. There's no way he can make it this far and the place where he is right now, on the forest floor in a puddle of his own blood, is at least pretty. He's somewhere up in Poviss, a place none of his brothers visit regularly, Lambert himself only ventured there by chance. The seasons are harsh in this part of the country and he's close enough to the sea that he can taste salt in the air, so when they come to look for him next year, he'll hopefully be nothing more than bones and metal. Rotting corpses are disgusting. Lambert hums reverently, chokes on the blood in his mouth and starts coughing.

His vision blackens just as something, someone, kneels down next to him and he blinks sluggishly at the prettiest person he has ever seen in his life.

When winter comes, Lambert walks through the halls of Kaer Morhen on swift feet with a spring in his step that doesn't go unnoticed by his brothers. They're all together in the hall, in front of the hearth and cuddled into one of Vesemir's blanket dens, when Kacper finally breaks and asks him, why he's suddenly so happy. Lambert grins at him, from where he's cuddling in Geralt's and Eskel's arms. “I think I met someone,” he says and is immediately bombarded with a row of never ending questions.

“Who is it?”

“Are they a witcher?”

“What school are they from?”

“Do we know them?”

“How did you meet?”

“Will you introduces us?”

“Are they pretty?”

Lambert's grin widens even further. “He is absolutely gorgeous.”

@hailhailsatan @kalikatze @whereiscarmensa @selectivegeekwithstandards @emotional-support-fandom @a-kind-of-merry-war @wolf-and-bard @kuripon @feral-jaskier @permanently-exhausted-bitch @fontegagrilledcheese @alllthequeenshorses

tell me if u (don’t) want to be tagged

#i might just fancy a bit of angst at th moment so there will be more :3 #the witcher #artistsfuneral about the witcher #cutagens #wolf pack feels #lambert #lambert witcher #lambden #tw injury #tw blood #tw bones #i guess

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werewolves-and-witches · 3 years

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Ok so can u explain how magic works in your universe? im kinda curious. Oh! And i guess werewolf stuff too, since Markus and Zonta are the main focuses

Ok witches/magic users first!

basically there's three kinds of magic in this universe: Dark Magic, Normal (which can have a variety of different specifications, Zonta is friends with another witch who works with forest magic), and Light magic. Dark magic is frowned upon because it can be dangerous, but it's inherently less harmful that Light magic, so it's not illegal. Both Light and Dark can turn a person into something called a Husk, essentially a being made of magic that takes the appearance of their original human forms. The Dark Husks tend to look like zombies or ghosts, while the Light Husks tend to have an ethereal appearance that slowly turned terrifying with age. Magic hunters, magic users on a quest for power, tend to go after Dark Husks cuz they're relatively common, it's very easy to perform magic and have a mishap happen. They use spells to drain the magic until the Husk completely vanishes.

Light Husks are far more rare because Light magic is technically illegal due to it's high risk. It takes a few tries with Dark magic to turn into a husk, but with Light magic, one time is pretty much all it takes unless you have a very specific skill requirement set up. There are currently only seven Light husks in existence, and they are worshipped by the Light Cult, a group of people who view these Husks as gods. The Light Husks are kept in anti-magic chambers to keep them from basically destroying the universe, hence why they have a huge cult following them.

Zonta specifically dabbles in Dark Magic, to the point where it can be considered dangerous, hence why when she was 18 she created a spell to protect her from turning into a Husk. Every now and then a magic user will come around who has an enormous amount of magic ability, and it can keep them from turning into a Husk. Zonta and one other person I haven't introduced yet are a couple of people who can use these skills without worry.

Familiars are all immortal, and usually when their magic user dies, they go back to a kind of primordial soup thing until a new magic user comes in to their powers, where they then go to the user and take on the first animal form they think of. In Zonta's case, her familiar is a brown cat she named Snickers. He's very cynical and wary about her Dark magic use, because he's seen his past users die and turn into husks, but he can't really do much to stop her.

NOW FOR WEREWOLVES:

Werewolves are born with a gene in them that activates when they turn 12-13 years old, when that happens, an older werewolf will ask if they wish to turn. If they say yes, they receive a mark from the older werewolf's claws, which causes the ability to shift. Werewolves are not exactly well-liked, as there are plenty of horror stories where werewolves went rogue and attacked innocent civilians, causing unease whenever someone clearly had signs of lycanthropy. Because of this, werewolves use two names; one for their human form, and one for their werewolf form.

Markus is a special case, he was changed against his will. Because of this, he represses his negative emotions to the point of almost having a Jekyll/Hyde personality, with Fenrir being his repressed emotions and the result of his trauma. He's gonna go further into what happened to him in one of the things I write later, but if you want to know what happened you can find it on my self insert blog, I've talked about it before on there.

It's inherited, as well. Markus' mom is a werewolf, and his younger twin brothers have the gene, but they haven't been turned.

Usually the way you can tell someone is a werewolf is if they have an unusual hair color that matches their eyes, Markus has dark violet eyes and hair, his mom has dark green eyes and hair, etc., and if they have a scar of some sort. The normal scarring is supposed to be a crescent moon shape on a body part that can be covered to signify werewolves association with the moon, but Markus has four long scratch marks on his torso.

During full moons, werewolves turn into something called a Full Wolf, a giant wolf like creature that's a little bigger than a horse. They tend to be a little more feral, and are the main cause as to why people are afraid of werewolves. They can keep their control in this form, but it's a lot harder because this is their more feral side and they can't control shifting into this form. The rest of the time, they turn into a wolfish looking being at any time they want.

#ask #ooc #worldbuilding #long post

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zootopiathingz · 4 years

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So I made my own version of a PnF monster AU back in 2018 and I’ve been considering still making it a thing, but idk

No plot yet, just the basic adventures these creature-humans can have. (Btw Twilight didn’t invent werewolves and vampires so I don’t wanna hear “oh this is twilight lololol” or Istg I’ll eat your shower curtains)

Phineas is a werewolf, he can transform to a half-wolf or full wolf depending on his mood or if the moon is full. Usually he’s pretty good at keeping himself under control and staying in his human form, but there are few circumstances where he gets really angry and goes full wolf (that’s when he can’t communicate at all and goes completely feral—lasts for an hour at most).

Isabella is a mermaid. She can’t transform into a human without a certain spell that she can’t remember, so she’s been stuck as a mermaid for years. She can breathe out of water, but only for a while and only when necessary.

Ferb is a vampire, but not like the typical “oh I can’t go out in the sun or eat garlic skhkj”. He can go out in sunlight and such, but he’s still really pale and can transform into a bat on command. He also sleeps in a coffin cuz I think that’s cool.

Candace is a fairy, she’s normal sized but can shrink if she wants. She hasn’t exactly mastered her powers yet so when her emotions get the better of her she just shrinks at random times (when scared or insecure usually). She’s also really bad at keeping her wings at check cuz they’re bigger than her and are extremely inconvenient sometimes.

Baljeet is a ghost (he didn’t die, he was born as a ghost kinda like Carrie from TAWOG). He’s invisible to the majority of people, only his friends and family can see him. He can lift objects with his mind—kinda has to since he can’t physically pick them up—and communicate with the dead. He chooses not to, though, they freak him out.

Buford is a centaur cyclops. I didn’t see him fitting into just one category of monster, and they both seemed perfect for him. He’s larger and stronger than the others and uses his powers to be reckless. He can see visions of the future, but he doesn’t tell anyone for their safety—also he doesn’t care enough to remember.

Perry is a shapeshifter. He’s a platypus but can change into a human, dragon, wolf, and phoenix. His dragon form is still kinda small (like a little bigger than Spyro), but still terrifying. He obtains all the special powers of these creatures but only when in their forms, so only his dragon and phoenix form breathe fire.

Doofenshmirtz is a demon, except he’s not like the other demons that are seen around town. He’s smaller and has less powers, so he relies on his -inators to do his work for him. His hands are burned and deformed so he has trouble summoning fire with them.

Vanessa is a siren, so she’s the dangerous type of mermaid. She can use her voice to lure in men to kill them, but she chooses not to do that. Instead she just gets people to do things for her like chores. And she can easily manipulate people by saying she’ll return the favor (but she never does).

Jeremy is a dragon. He can never be in a full human form, his legs are always that of a dragon, accompanied by a tail and wings (though they are smaller when he’s in this form). He never really goes full dragon, not even when he has to cuz he’s pretty powerful anyway (he breathes blue fire ehehe).

Monogram is a griffin (idk I thought it was cool). He has trouble communicating sometimes cuz depending on his mood he’ll speak only in animal languages, which is why he runs OWCA.

Carl is a half deer/half human. He doesn’t really have any special powers, he’s just a man who’s stuck with a lower deer body and he’s literally the same “paid” intern in the show. But he’s a great use for OWCA cuz he can also communicate with the animals.

I didn’t do all of the characters but now that I’m getting back into it I just might. Lmk what you think they’d be. Actually just lmk what you think of the AU in general.

(Also forgot to mention that it takes place when they’re a little older so don’t be imagining little monster children running around lol)

#phineas and ferb #pnf #phineas flynn #isabella garcia shapiro #ferb fletcher #candace flynn #perry the platypus #heinz doofenshmirtz #vanessa doofenshmirtz #jeremy johnson #major monogram #carl the intern #alternate universe #monster au

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serpentinescreamqueen · 3 years

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NOT AS MACABRE (Werewolves)

Let’s start off with these sloppy – I mean, so-called “man-eating hounds.”

If you don’t know what a werewolf is, I’m…surprised, but I’ll tell you. Basically, they’re people who can shift into these wolf-like beasts (yes, wolf-like, not that crap you’ve seen on Twilight). Most times, they don’t have any control over it. Transformations often happen when they’re under a full moon.

The earliest werewolf story I can recall was some dude who was turned into some sorta dog monster after meddling with magic he didn’t understand (obviously don’t touch suspicious glowing things). He lost control, went totally feral, and…well, mauled a buncha people.

Next one I remember is that story ‘bout some dude named Gilgamesh. Apparently some goddess was into him or something, but he rejected her ‘cuz she…well, she straight up turned one of her admirers into a wolf. Who does that? Imagine simping for someone and they turn you into a dog, thus you get killed by your friends and your own dogs. What a dick.

There’s this other story about a Greek king. Lyacon was his name, I believe. Oral tradition tends to garble up stories, so the best version I could remember was this one; Lyacon wanted to see if Zeus, of all people, truly was who he claimed to be, or just a man.

He conducted a little experiment and did what any sane person would do, and, well…served him human meat during a meal. He also planned to like, try and kill Zeus in his sleep, so y’know, things obviously wouldn’t go well.

Long story short, Zeus, of course, knew that he was being served human pot pie, so he transformed the King into a wolf as punishment. Oh, and I think he also ruined the dude’s house with lightning bolts & stuff, so there’s that.

I mean, in my opinion, I’d kill you for trying to kill me in my sleep instead of for serving me human meat. You can have me eat a dead man, sure, but nobody gets in the way of my beauty sleep.

Ever.

Of course, you got the other legends about how this whole shebang started, like old warriors who wore animal skins and were just as fearsome as the animals they wore (the very first fursuits, yes), or those people who’d put on wolf skins like cloaks and belts, thus gaining the power and the feral mind of one.

There was this one tale about some dude who apparently had like, a magical wolf belt? A sash? An accessory made of wolf pelt, whatever it was. He’d put it on and he was able to transform into a wolf, and he devoured his neighbors, something like that. Sounds crazy, I know.

Some of these people are probably just insane, enchanting a wolfskin accessory takes years of practice. Some of ‘em are just plain old, unshaved, unkempt cannibals.

Or who knows? I’ve heard of humans being able to enchant things like that, perhaps I’m just jealous.

Now! Why aren’t they so bad?

Well, for one, most of these myths are just that – myths. Legends. Made-up stories. The human world is boring, why not jazz it up a bit, right?

Adding to that, the real ones are, like I said in the beginning, “man-eating hounds.” HOUNDS. They’re dogs! And what do you do with dogs?

Train them, that’s what.

Okay, before I get into this I’ll just say, no, I do not mean to sound racist towards werewolves out there, y’all are…great & all, but you don’t wanna go feral either, right? Yeah.

I once dated a werewolf. He wasn’t feral, but he was a pretty huge dick. He was nice to me at times, and pretty sweet when he tried, but he was also just a straight-up douchebag to me. Werewolves, by all means go feral, just don’t be a prick, please? Relationship ended after a few months, when he was…well, he died.

Oh, don’t feel sorry for me, I had him killed. Turns out some cheap hunters really do the job well.

Anyway, the next time you see a werewolf, think of it this way – s/he’s a person who’s turned into a wolf-like monster. Put the silver bullets away, jeez! It’s a weapon, and the human side is aware of that. Clearly, when a weapon’s pointed at you, your instinct is to defend yourself by fighting, or running away. The wolf side, however, often loves to fight. Basically, weapons are a no-no.

Again, you’re gonna wanna train that hound. Grab a stick and throw it! Or tell them to sit. Or maybe next time, pack some raw meat, just in case. Regularly offering meat to a werewolf tames them a lil’ bit, maybe even begin seeing you as a friend, like any other dog.

Then again…anybody you offer food to will probably always see you as a friend.

I know I will.

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