#they are incredible holy fuck im still in shock

[eternallovers65]

Watching the fight again, and I want to punch and hug both cellbit and forever from delivering the best rp moment so far in this server i-

Forever crying. His shocked face when the bed got broken to the sudden but immediate warm smile at the end reassuring everything will be fine and cucurucho will deal with this

Cellbit's angry and frustrated screams begging his best friend to snap out of it. The voice cracks when asking forever to look him in the eye and not abandon him, not him too, not right now. Saying he will also save forever from whatever is wrong with him, that he will not lose his son and best friend

#shaking them by the shoulders HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US!??!!?! #but also YOU'RE SO FUCKING AMAZING I LOVE YOU GUYS CONTINUE #they are incredible holy fuck im still in shock #qsmp #qforever #qcellbit #cellbit #forever player

[someghostwriter]

Times are changing

Pairing: Alastor x Vox

Tags: implied murder, death, assassins, vox being a bad person

A/N: im really thinking, enjoy babesss

part 1 - part 2

The feeling of electricity coursing through him was terrifying and interesting to him in a way

If it wasnt for the bad wiring in the back of the building, the water that he got soaked in when the man chasing him tried to drown him in a fucking toilet, Vincent wouldnt of died. The shock going through his body wouldnt of happened, and at most hed get electrical burn. Yet, he was stupid. Unlucky. Running from a man wanting him dead for reasons he had no clue, but probably revolved around his possition of wealth.

If it werent for the fact his family had money and he earned some from being a television host of the century, he would of been much more confused, and much more “begging for his life” kinda guy instead of instantly making a run for it. Vincent knew his life wasnt anyway holy, and that gave him strength others didnt get. Using his smile to charm his way out of perdigiments was his specialty at this point.

And yet, he felt his eyes roll to the back of his skull and the numbness and inability to move became clear. Consciousness slipped from his body slower then he wanted it, as it felt like he was being stabbed from inside of his body. Death was coming, and it was coming fast- He felt it desend upon him so quick he was confused. Many described death as slow, like life was flashing through your eyes when you do, but he didnt see anything. He felt his eyes fry, and the darkness was unnerving and yet quick. Like sleep, it only lasted for a moment, and yet it took hours.

A thud from him falling onto the ground hurt like a bitch, and he felt the electricity inside of him still. Humming, coursing, and he was quick to scramble as soon as mobility was given to his limbs. He pressed himself against the wall he found behind him, and he had a sense of imbalance aswell as unfamiliarity to his own body, and when he looked around, all he saw where freaks and hellish figures that was unrecognizable and yet slightly human in the red sky that told him this was his punishment for what he did in life.

A hand, his and yet so incredibly wrong anddifferent it confused him, reached to his face, meeting a screen that explained the heaviness of his very own head. A television screen. A reminder of his life, and the energy behind the screen coursing with the same electricity that killed him. Fuck, he barely was breathing- cus what the fuck was happening?

He stood, quicker then he could handle because he almost fell over from the heavy weight of his own head and the electricity that seemed to rush to his brain. Vincent rubbed the weird screen- somehow able to feel everything that touched it as it was his face, and slowly walked out of the alley he had found himself in to take a weary look at the surrounding area.

The streets resembled his time, yet had tidbits of something older, having things he recognized from childhood like the old buildings of chicago mixing in with the newer, with places he didnt entirely expect- Like a very obvious sex hotel that seemed to have more people openly talking about it then the prudes in his hometown did.

He held onto the fedora when he began walking- something he didnt realize had carried over to his afterlife until he instinctively tilted it infront of his face despite it hiding nothing. Walking down the streets was as if he was alive, but he knew he wasnt. Not with the red hue and the blood and corpses that casually splattered across the roads and sidewalk.

As he walked, he listened to the chatter with interest. His keen hearing seemed to amplify in death, and he easily sook out any voice that seemed to speak of the world around him. Most chatter was proper, yet there was too many that felt too old and some felt wrong in how they spoke. A man holding a stack of papers, giving them off to anyone whod pay. He found himself walking to the man, grabbing a paper without a thought and reading through it with interest.

“Hey, ya gotta pay for that bitch.” The man with an.. Wolfish appearance, He was ugly, to say the least. It ticked him off- He was use to many people.. Complying with his ideas. Treating him with the respect he deserved. His smile faltered but he forced it to stay.

“Darling, do you know who i am?” He hissed out between his teeth, the anger seething in his electrical currents bouncing around his body. The man seemed to back up in fear in a way that delighted Vincent so much he cackled, moving forward.

“Oh, you dont know me. Oh, maybe you should guess. Whats my name, brat?”

“I dont-” the wolf gasped

“Guess.” He growled with a smile stretching across his face. “Heres a hint: Starts with a V. ”

It was no surprise Vincent was in hell. Fear was addicting, ruining peoples lives to prove his power was something he’d done many times before. Finding that it was hell- a place without consequence for his evil- oh that was better then anything he would of expected.

He didnt know how he came up with the name Vox. It was a spur of the moment thought, when the man infront of him had to beg for his life. Finding out the hierarchy of hell was a treat, and learning he could gain power so easily- by being his.. Weird self.

So he began working.

Everyone in hell was gonna know his name, and he would take all the power he couldnt get in life, and nobody would stop him. He was going to be powerful enough that nobody would question him- his ability, his strength. He would take the painful electricity under his skin that only reminded him of dying and turn it into his power.

#radiostatic #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #cursed cat alastor #radio demon #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #vox the tv demon #vox hazbin hotel #the vees #evil #fanfics 💋

[bumblingest-bee]

bee’s thoughts on the sweeney todd revival!!

idk if recordings just didn’t do him justice or if he’s improved as his run has gone on, but i did truly enjoy aaron as sweeney. to be clear he’s still not a baritone but he didn’t struggle with the range as much as i’d feared. unfortunately but not unexpectedly he didn’t have that deep resonance that the role should have, yet at the same time he almost made up for it with the sheer intensity of his acting. (almost.) i REALLY enjoyed that he did a proper cockney accent - it was surprisingly good and fit his take on the character very well. he was genuinely frightening and impressively intense at times (his “how about a shave?” section in epiphany was a highlight for me) but at other times he was. aaron tveit. overall while still i wish they’d cast a proper baritone on the role, aaron was wonderful in his own way and im very very glad i saw him. the fact he was aaron tveit in a very tight shirt may or may not have helped.

guys. folks. sutton was FUCKING INCREDIBLE. i know, i am just as shocked as you, but she was born to play mrs. lovett. i’ve never laughed so hard at worst pies in my life. i can’t say enough good things about her which is insane bc i’ve been joking about her casting since the beginning. vocally, she knew exactly when to turn on the deranged lansbury style belt and when to sing it straight. i won’t lie her accent was much better than annaleigh’s (I’M SO SORRY). acting-wise, she was just hysterically funny; over-the-top without being over-the-top, if that makes any sense at all. just a really truly delightful take on the role.

JOE LOCKE. HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK. i came in knowing nothing about him but thinking he was stunt casting and i was SO wrong. he was, bar none, THE best toby i have ever heard. he made the role sound completely effortless with a gorgeous classical tenor that turned into a high belt so powerful it made the couple in front of me nearly leap from their seats in amazement.

jamie jackson’s deeply creepy judge and john rapson’s slimy, flamboyant beadle made the perfect dickensian villain duo. they were THE essential ingredient to the atmosphere of the show, which they just about stole.

maria bilbao was a wonderfully unnerving, constantly in anxious motion, adorably sweet johanna. she and daniel yearwood (who was lovable and vocally gorgeous as anthony) had great chemistry. ruthie ann miles was, of course, perfect as the beggar woman, heart-wrenching and unsettling and probably the best acting performance out of the whole cast.

the entire ensemble was brilliant - of course i’ve got to give a special mention to pirelli because that contest was the funniest one i’ve ever seen. also shoutout to hennessy winkler who was on as jonas fogg!

the sets were great, though at times i wished there was a bit more of them instead of being minimalist for the sake of it. the choreography was used to great, unnerving effect at times (that stumbling in the opening ballad!) though sometimes i wished they’d just stay still for god’s sake. two things that stood out to me: the blood effects were very effective, and the sound design in the bakehouse was so creepy.

for a 26-piece orchestra you’d think they’d make it a bit louder. compared to other big orchestra shows i’ve seen the instruments felt a bit tinny and canned at times, despite the fact that they really turned it up for some songs, proving that they could!! in any case i was just very very glad to hear that gorgeous full score at any volume.

overall it was a brilliant experience - though im not sure how much of that is due to just how fucking good the material is no matter what you do with it. it wasn’t perfect, but i laughed so hard i cried (and just plain cried) and got goosebumps about every five minutes. so happy i got to attend the tale ❤️🥧❤️

#bee posts nonsense #sweeney todd #theatre #long post

[biggiedraws]

so i started playing doki doki literature club. SPOILERS AHEAD

if you opened the read more out of curiosity because you havent heard of this game and thought "ehhhh what kind of spoilers could there be for a game called doki doki literature club" this is your last chance to turn back. i am so serious you do not want to ruin the game for yourself by reading this post. anyway, for the rest of you -

OHHHHHH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK. OH MY GOD. okay like. i literally had sayoris death spoiled for me okay, and the foreshadowing and build-up was really well done, so i knew. before i opened that fucking door i knew exactly what was going to be behind it. and IT /STILL/ HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. the complete lack of music for the normal scenes leading up to it sets you on edge just enough, and then the fucking POEM (get out of my head. get out of my head. get out of my head. get out of my), then the frantic pace as you run to her house and then THE FUCKING. REVEAL. idk how they fucking did it because even with all the content warnings and everything i was not expecting it to hit THAT hard. holy fuck. like i literally had to put the game down and type this out because my heart was pounding so hard. im still shaking. i think if i had gone in completely blind i might have screamed

anyway. to be clear i am a thriller enjoyer so this was not a bad experience - im just a bit more shaken up than usual! i guess i need to play more horror/thriller games because wow. what an incredible medium for shocking and disturbing content. this game is great so far i hope it only gets worse from here :D

#genuinely an excellent game so far. im pleasantly surprised #doki doki literature club #ddlc

[glass--beach]

Live reacting to plastic death!

Just heard coelacanth for the first time, holy shit those time signatures?

Just heard motions for the first time, what the fuck the variation! (Teared up)

Just heard slip under the door for the first time, omg it's this one! Oh it's different! Holy shit.

Just heard guitar song for the first time, what is happening! It's so cool!

Oh my god! It's rare animal! Lovely transition for a lovely song :)

THINKING ABOUT YOU!!!

Just heard cul-de-sac for the first time, I LOVE STEREO USAGE I LOVE THIS ALBUM OH MY

I love hearing the snippets we've already heard on the website its so fun

Just heard whalefall for the first time, I've been hypnotised into sleep in the depths and I'm enjoying it

I'm free here

I fucking love these clashes!!!!!!

Just heard puppy for the first time, I'm crawling back and forth!! I WANT TO SCREAM BUT THAT WOULD ANNOY PEOPLE!!!!!

Just listened to the killer for the first time, this seems chill for a song called the killer. I'm sure it won't change. I can't believe I got caught in the teeth of a hunters trap. THE FIDDLE?? IS THAT A FIDDLE??? NO IDEA????

Hey!! It's the CIA!! Wiretap my head!!! You have succeeded in that!!!! IN YOUR TEETH; ON YOUR MIND; YOUR SYMPATHY'S A WASTE OF TIME; LITTLE BLINKING LIGHT YOU LEFT BEHIND!! I CAN'T HELP IT I KEEP COMING BACK TO YOU!!!

Just listened to 200 for the first time, OH THOSE CHORDS AND VOICE TOGETHER ARE SO GOOD. ... What the fuck is happening

My mouth is fucking doing the shocked emoji holy shit. What the fuck OH IT'S THIS SNIPPET. HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW DOES IT KEEP GETTING BETTER I'M WHAT. what. I think I'm short circuiting

Just listened to commatose for the first time, thank you for this album so much guys. This feels like the time to say that literally every song so far has fucking destroyed me this is such a good album and fuck. Oh! It's speeding up! I am jamming!! So hard!! Nothing left! Nothing left! Oh. OH. OHHH! the FUCKING CHANGE ONCE AGAIN IM BEING PUMMELED TO DEATH!!!1

NOTHING LEFT! NOTHING LEFT!! I'm bleeding out to death on the floor with a smile on my face. How is there like half of this left. How can it get any better. oh. a sense of calm washes over me as I wake up. I'm a bloodied mess but somehow still alive. I stare up in the sky dreading the future but living in the now. I recall everything that i must do and what's left for me. I close my eyes, right now i want to lie down and rest with my cuts and bruises. And maybe get pummeled again. The sun rises. I open my eyes. The stars are still there? I watch the sun and stars intermingled, something I didn't think possible until now. I promptly collapse on the ground due to blood loss but in a good way. The noises die down around me as I am once again trapped in my own mind.

Just listened to abyss angel for the first time. I'm burning, with the blood in the trees. I think I'm about to cry. There's definitely tears here. It feels like the end of a journey, every single step a delight. I sit. A new day is ahead. The sun has indeed risen again. For real this time. I lean back and smile, tears welling up, and feel prepared for the future ahead of me. Thank you.

10/10, every song.

*beep* this recording has ended. Thank you for listening.

dont even know what to say to this this is like a whole ass review and incredibly positive and kind so thank you so much! i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

[asteria7fics]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IVE SEEN YOU ON A FEW OF MY POSTS OFFHANDEDLY AND I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR FICS TO READ AND I LANDED ON YOURS WITHOUT KNOWING IT AND I REALIZED WHO IT WAS WHEN I SAW THE PFP AND IM SCREAMING.

Ok just in case the all-caps gives you a headache, normal text now!!! Dude you're writing is phenomenal!!!! I'm currently in the process of reading The Song of Broflovski and oh my GOD!! I'm just squealing and stimming while reading it! Your characterization is so accurate it makes me jealous! I was very shocked at the mr kitty scene and tbh am still mourning. (rip mr kitty) but omg this story is so amazing!

From the moment Kyle and Stan were introduced to the plot I was internally thinking "please let them be Achilles and Patroclus" and OMG THEY ARE!!! I'll admit I didn't even realize the title was a nod to The Song of Achilles, but when I finally realized it, I loved the story even more!

I just wanted to give you a huge thank you for sharing this with the world. I'm not yet finished, but I'm excited for every new chapter I read. This is inspiring me to continue my fanfic from where I left it off, and I thank you for that.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU??!?!?

I'm so incredibly happy to hear you're enjoying my silly little fic!!! I wasn't sure how niche it would be when I was writing it, but to see that there are other Greek Mythology/South Park enjoyers out there has been really exciting!!

I really appreciate hearing that you're enjoying my characterization! That was probably the hardest thing to nail down, since everyone is so super specific, but I think the roles that I (*couch* and Cartman *cough*) have given everyone lends well to them staying pretty in character; esp. Kyle as Achilles. I love an angry little guy!!!!

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, and look forward to a fresh chapter dropping tomorrow morning!!

Thank you again for your incredibly kind words and encouragement, this genuinely made me tear up (not an easy thing to do, I might add!) I look forward to reading your fic as you work on it, too!!

#ask asteria #no but really i cried a little bit #ive been waiting for my betas to read my next fic and i needed the encouragement honestly #so thank you friend!!! #sorry the doodle is shite i whipped it up quick because i was excited to answer this hehe

[sinkableruby]

So, how did you end up stumbling into Monogatari as a series? And who would you say was your Favorite character before Ougi filled that spot? I'd love to ask more about Ougi but, y'know, personal spoilers and all.

oh oh oh yes i have an answer for this one

actually the answer to both is nadeko!! you are right that ougi is my all time fave but nadeko was acc my fave before them and still holds my second place slot!! talking about it below with spoiler talks of otorimonogatari

similarly to you i stumbled upon it in my teens like a while back. my first impression was like the memes and stuff of course with renai circulation and what not. which led to me seeing a comparison video of renai circulation and mousou express, which is super interesting and cool even without context. and scary for that matter mousou express is kind of terrifying. it leaves an incredibly lasting impression, and it certainly did on me back then. of course it helped that i like the songs too. i also saw a clip of her in medusa form which was intriguing (and also i love the design of it). this on its own though was not enough to get me to watch. actually no wait i think i tried to watch it but the order was so confusing that i started with like nise by accident somehow and i had no idea what was going on so i quit lmao. but i was still curious about the series partly due to nadeko and partly bc it was like one of those big shows that you hear about yk

then fast forward a while, i hear the kizumonogatari movies r comin out so im like fuck it lets watch even tho i have no context. luckily they turned out to be prequel stories and my experience was not totally ruined by this move lol. of course, they were really good, those movies are amazing. so now i was like more invested in the story, but only by a little bit more. the final push i needed to actually try to watch (again) was ultimately because i was so curious about nadeko. tbh she was also the reason why i finished the series in the first place. monogatari on first watch for me was overwhelming and very dense (i mean, its a dense show), and before otori i actually wasn't enjoying it like a LOT, especially not with all the weird bits the series likes to throw at you. not to say that i disliked it, it just wasn't like amazing to me. of course now i feel differently and love the early parts of the series very much too, but first watch was slightly rough at times and took me a while to complete. learning what was gonna happen with nadeko was a big motivating factor for me.

but then when i acc got to otori i was like HOLY SHIT ITS ME lmao. i mean id already liked nadeko the best from the very little id seen of her and the fuzzy spoiler memory of vaguely what was going to happen in her arc. but man otori was so good and resonated with me so much, every single moment of it was so gripping to me. i loved the stark contrast in nadeko's perspective from araragi's (esp noticeable in how she sees her classmates), how it's already set up at the very beginning as a story where she Gets Worse so there's a feeling of profound dread surrounding it, her outburst at school (my jaw actually dropped at the "shut up!" i was so shocked and then hyped lol), just like everything about kuchinawa, the incredible ost (not to mention that op of course). ougi actually did contribute to the enjoyment bc she brought up such interesting ideas at the beginning and is generally such an enigma, but shes not the focus here right now i just cant help but bring up ougi in any situation. but yeah otori hands down one of my favorite arcs, one of the ones i still go back to rewatch frequently for the profound effect it had on me and the comfort it brings

its like what you were talking about with hanekawa. nisioisin truly did an incredible job with his characterization to make so many very true-to-life and nadeko is absolutely no exception, she is very relatable to me. i've got a lot of experience in life being shy, quiet, socially anxious, generally anxious lol (although not anymore!), and as 'the sweetheart who can do no wrong', so it's very much nadeko's specific brand of avoidance and like... 'outward-facing personality management' that resonates with me, if that makes sense. i was completely aligned with her during that whole watchthrough of otori in terms of feeling how she felt. i was seeing myself reflected back at me from the screen lol. of course we have lots of differences too but the similarities were really capturing to me on my first watch through and kinda catapulted me to finish the rest. her later appearances only added onto my appreciation of her too. i'll leave it there though since you don't know so much about that yet. when u get there ill probably have more to talk about. but shes a wonderful character love her very much.

also. ghh. i wish i could say more about ougi. you have no idea. im so curious to see what you will think of them. im practically vibrating with how much i want to talk about them (a constant state of being for me). but i wont say anything yet. i will be Hush...

#took me a while to write but was so fun to answer! thank u 😌 #nadeko is so real #sengoku nadeko #monogatari #otorimonogatari #i love asks if u ever have asks send me them #naka dont look

[mando-abs]

Okay best takeaways in the episode 6 podcast imo

- Them describing this episode as full of action in terms of mental games is incredible. Bc yeah, it is. And then saying that it should be just as entertaining as physical action if not more; how they enjoyed this one more bc you can play around with it. I agree. Physical action shouldn’t be used to cover up weak tension in a story. Tension should be held throughout, even when they’re talking quietly (i.e. Maria and Ellie’s spat). That should be what you turn to, especially if you want your real action to be impactful. Otherwise, it’s just watching a boxing match, entertaining in the moment but it doesn’t linger.

- Speaking of tension, I love how they keep bringing up what Joel and Ellie want to say versus what they actually say. Bc we as viewers know what Ellie really means when she says “I can’t fucking do this without you.” But they’re not at that level of admission yet. Or when Joel says “Your wife was keeping you off the radio?” He knows damn well Maria wouldn’t do that. She just let him into their fortress. He doesn’t want to admit to himself that Tommy stopped radioing him. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s a failure in Tommy’s eyes. And it isn’t until we physically see Joel realize he screwed up that he tells Tommy the truth. He still doesn’t with Ellie but he’s already established decades worth of trust with Tommy. When you write, you want to keep characters from admitting the whole truth until it serves the best purpose in the story. That and it’s part of the fun when the audience gets to play the guessing game of what do they actually mean. Just wonderfully good shit right here in terms of writing.

- “I have dreams. What dreams? I don’t know. All I know is that when I wake up, I know I’ve lost something.” THIS LINE CAME FROM PEDRO. IM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW. HOLY SHIT. Them acting like Pedro didn’t just drop the most heartbreaking new line of Joel dialogue (I mean I’m sure they know but still). Pedro’s so mean for that.

- They kept most of the scene™️ exactly as it was. And the line they changed for Joel was because this Joel is just a little different emotionally than in the game. Which I mean, makes sense bc it’s harder for audiences to fully relate to Joel than it is for a gamer who embodies Joel.

- I did not know that Ashley Johnson included not only the shove at Joel but also the weird “fucking” in the middle of the line when she does it. She was just so in the moment and feeling the anger. That’s awesome. It totally adds to the desperation of Ellie.

EDIT: WAIT I also wanted to put down how they described a panic attack. “It feels like you’re having a heart attack. It feels like you’re dying”

As someone who has suffered from many a panic attack, has had to learn coping mechanisms to combat it, and is medicated, it’s right on the money. It’s what I’ve been saying this whole time, but people who don’t have panic attacks don’t believe me or don’t see how I come to those conclusions. Short answer: you stay in your head way too much. For Joel’s case, he’s just now starting to deal with his trauma that he’s held onto for years. In a miniature recreation of that, I took a Tylenol PM to help me sleep bc my foot hurtie. It helped me sleep so much it relaxed me. And once my body started reverting back to it’s old grind, I felt like I was dying and my heart started doing weird things. But it went away as soon as I distracted myself from it.

He starts touching his trauma and his body physically reacts. But it goes away when Ellie gets his mind off of it. But as soon as that trigger comes back…

- Mazin’s daughter sang the sad version of Depeche Mode’s song 🥹🥹🥹 that’s so sweet and doubly sad

#tlou #tlou hbo #hbo tlou #hbo tlou spoilers #tlou hbo spoilers #tlou spoilers #the last of us #the last of us spoilers

[midnightmisadventures]

“No yea we’re batshit insane” - Dream Boy

Alternate title: Guys GUYS so much

Alternate title: The perma stoned semester 

Alterternate title: Trials and tribulations of separation. 

Alternate title: “Look, I didn’t want to be a Twin Flame”

------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m so fucking high rn on some delta 8 mothers day edibles and holy shit

highest ive been in so long lkike im in car 4 my heart is palpitating. 

Honestly kinda hope i dont die 

But.....

I was thinking about how high i am and how this used to be a typical 5pm on a tuesday high last year. Like holy shit i was just like this.......all the time. “The perma stoned semester” season rheme :)

But yea i was like this all the time, he was like this all the time, we got to know eachother like this

uncrontrollable smiling and laughter. While the sun rises, during sunsets, when its raining, when its thunder & lightening, when its snowing and theres soft christmas music playing. 

When my favorite music in the world played, when we all sang the words, when i saw his goofy smile every day during golden hour, 

Constant euphoria, constant giggly nonsense, always this high, the strongest strains, the rosiest glasses the dispensary sells. The vulnerability was unmatched. The connection to 5D was like no other time. 

This high: Making dinner together, watching our favorite movies, playing UNO, making pancakes, training a kitten, talking about our traumas, questioning life, creating our bucket lists, sharing stories for hours, 

No wonder it felt like a goddamn movie and NO WONDER we only saw the best in eachother. We fell in love headfirst all while being our funniest, most authentic, vulnerable, happy, stoner selves. We were never the sober versions with eachother so of course we both came out of that era SO confused how the other couldnt see how great and beautiful they are. 

Like i was likke Liam is so magnetic and hilarious, he’s so supportive and understands me so well, he’s so creative and vibrant and sexy. How can he not know how amazing and wonderful he is. He’s such a catch? 

But i was ONLY seeing the high version of him. His most inner childish self shinign throigh withoujt him even realizing. His most comfortable self, his most ambitious self! Like he had a milltion ideas a minute, he was incredibly confident, and charming. When he was sober a few hours later..... He no longer thought any of those ideas were remotely possible. Or that any of the stuff we unpacked, the trauma we analyzed, Was actually real or had any real value outside of those conversations or any other hour we were stoned. 

It was no wonder things always felt their worst when we were sober. Or when he went sober for those couple months in spring semester . Or when I was on tour. Or in november.....

He was going home every semester. And was immediately transported out of it. Our dream world we created, our dream selves we acted like. The shocking sobriety of it all. He’s said when he was home “this didnt exist, this didnt feel real. THIS is a fantasy land” 

He was going home and getting high, but it wasnt the same, it was like trying to grasp onto that euphoria. But we werent there. Dunham wasnt there. SO it didnt work, weed didnt transport him, and his demons were still able to convince him that he was worthless.  So he didnt want to bank on  promises made in the fantasy land andthe fantasy girl was leaving....

So he had to cut off transportation. Take out the drugs. Leave the euphoria behind, focus on the real world, cause god thats gotta hurt less than having my dream world promises shatter in front of me. And everyone in the real world making es fun of me cause i believed in “dream world promises?” NO, I’m not spiritual wizard, I’m a 24 year old who needs to get his shit together. 

We were true drug addicts. Addicted to weed and how 11:11 much it made us love eachother. How invincible it made us feel. How real it made the promises sound. Every day stoned as hell. Smoking As much as we could, as much as we could push out the real world and try to convince eachother that we should both screw it all and live together in dream world. 

Sober: Different people. 

But when he went sober I still smoked, almost as much. I stayed in dream world i learned every crack and crevis on my own. Found my own tricks, got in touch with some people made some connections. I kept it up. 

I missed him, and I ached for him. I wanted to remind him of his value, and all the things we talked about in dream world. And real world him was so cold. And so uninterested. And kept pushing mer away. But I knew he was in there :( 

So i stayed close by and i moaned and i ached and i gave blessings from far away. And I wished for him to come back.

If she could just reach the dreamworld version of him push through. Try harder to come out, and teach real world version of him about BALANCE. 

Well...yea. Idk I guess I’m just fucking high and missing him and for the first time realizing how easy it is to think of the most amazing moments of him when I;m this high. And it made me realize damn. This was my state of mind that WHOLE time. It is such a warped, and dreamlike, movie like state. 

And thats just crazy because thats the reason we saw the best in eachother and all of our potential all the time. It was our happiest headspaces. And thats how we got to know eachother, thats whyh it was so easy to fall in love, and think of him so highly. 

Whenever I need to fall in love with him, i let dream girl run the ship for a few hours. If dream girl is struggling to reach me, they’ll send me a dream like last night. When he was finally balanced and asked me to be his. 

Like right now i’m seeing hallucinations, and jamming to music, and laughing so hard i cant breathe by myself and then i was like............”OHHHHH, this is the version i remember, oh yea.....duh you could fall in love with anyone like this” 

“This is why it was so easy to know he was the love of my life. Cause i used cheat codes. I skipped past all the armour, i went under all the layers and got to know the truest him. All his doubts, fears, dreams, and insecurities. Everything you shield away from strangers. And pretty girls who intimidate you

And u have to be this high to understand the feeling. To really remember the romance of it all. To realize how magical and toxic it all really was. 

.....I’m dream girl right now, And I remember EVERYTHING

(lol like see how instantly such a movie) Like “Be fucking forreal” - Real world girl

Record time and im still pretty high btw

#i have an alibi

[sakumasmut]

this ask will probably very long and pathetic so im sorry ahead of myself </3 YOU DIDNT JUST CHANGE THE POST TEXT TO TALK ABOUT THE GIFT AGAIN,, well obviously i wouldnt say no, and natsume,,, im always open to more natsume content because he is my everything (* >ω<) but you know, as you said in another rb's tags theres seriously so little content of my other favorites that id just feel bad to waste the gift opportunity when i can uhh, magically bring forth more nsfw wataru and leo content because. seriously. theres so little of it!! how!! i went thru their nsfw tags like, these days, and well. ashamed to say the very few there are of wataru, some are from me and even some that contain him and are related to the oddballs are still asks from me!!! no one wants this guy besides me.. ugly sobbing. but also was shocked at how little nsfw content there is of leo? surely hed be more popular so its like.. where is it.. wheres the content!! i did think about you wanting to give me a gift, and i can imagine why youd want to give it (and thinking on par that its not just a late birthday gift </3 but still thanks regardless!!), i was thinking something something with leo and ritsu but.. im not sure what! again if its anything you can just dm me about it or something i suppose </3 or if you do want to keep it as a secret little gift thatd pop up one day i dont mind either! but yeah i realized lately just how sick i am over leo and ritsu. yeah. yyeah. ive been rereading all your content w ritsu and especially the catboy ones.. uwehehe... (´_ゝ`) i kept thinking of scenarios of ritsu inviting leo over in his room with the reader also being there and erm,, wheres mika? i dont know! he can be anywhere he wants to just not here! (i am sorry mika fans. do not make me talk about him or we will reach the forbidden eroguro content. still so sorry for the one anon that didnt know what eroguro is and googled it?? then ended up asking you (ﾟωﾟ) i didnt expect to catastrophically ruin someones life like that... supposedly. my bad) but back to the main thing just uuuuw ive been missing your hcs things that were talking about two characters pursuing the same reader imagine it with leo and ritsu! oh the drama! how jealous filled creatures they both are! incredible! and absolutely phenomenal! but also them both having to share you? think of all the side-eyeing and purposefully paying attention to who you seem to give more attention towards.. they'd be so cute. i have worms in my brain(･ω･｀*). imagine if they were both catboys and so needingly desiring your affection. at once! im going to stop before i explode. i just need them both all over me right now i think. ue. i dont have much to say on behalf of wataru. at this point id just take anything with him because itd be such a rare legendary thing to witness.. ohh the holy grail of ultra rare wataru nsfw (no one wants this clown except me and exactly two other people on your blog) as you said yourself once hed be pretty much open to anything!! the opportunities are endless!! why limit them!! but also ouhhhh i have missed the wataru breeding hcs post.. id almost forgotten hes in puffy bunny even. whenever i think about fucking like rabbits phrase my mind just auto fills it in to nazuna. but ah. applied to wataru. ah. yeah. dont really have anything else to add there but amazing post 10/10 hit me like a rock when i saw it for the first time and may the person who requested that have my forever blessings. i will now sign off before i blow up right in this moment —darlingnon

mmm yeah I suppose you’re right, natsume is quite popular (I even have something for him for next month) but like you said there’s not a lot of writing for wataru or leo, so I’d wanna give you some content for them too! I definitely wouldn’t mind adding ritsu to a leo thing though, more the merrier!

honestly I might just surprise you one day? since I don’t wanna promise a deadline and not make it 🙇 but also very flattering you check my older writing fjehsbdn

#darlingnon

[starcloud-nova]

omg bestie u read trc!!? tell me ur thoughts!! or not <33 i hope ure well <33

MOON HI omg i missed u how are you

YEAH yeah i finished call down the hawk like two days ago it was so ugh like UGH. im gonna have to find mi somewhere bc idk how i'll be able to wait until school starts back up. it's been like sooo hard for me to read books lately so it took me like a month to get through all of them minus blue lily which was my favorite and took a week but i still loved these shits so much.

favorite characters were like. gansey because he's gansey but also NOAH 💖💖💖💖💖 noah was soooo fucking. i love that kid so much and i'm so sad we'll never get to see what he was like before he died :(. noah also continually reminded me of @ aries so much and that's part of why i loved his character so much. he was so much like aries. ily aries.

my fave book was blue lily, lily blue. god blue lily was so good i loved every bit of it but the raven king !!! fuck shit that was some goooood horror like damn i wish there was more horror in novels like that i absolutely died at That One Scene with adam. henry was also a welcome change in pace from the chaos of the rest of the characters. i didn’t like him in bllb but he’s better now <3

let me tell you the books were naaaaawt at all what i expected because mostly i knew them as Those Gay Books that tumblr liked or maybe it was just this one blogger who liked them so anyways i was surprised at the plot. like. psychics :0 magic :00 not what i thought it would be. also the person i followed really liked gansey and adam and ronan and so when i read the summary of the raven boys i was like surprised that there was this random chick named blue. shocked, even. who was she.

they were incredible books tho i'll admit like genuinely would have me hooked if i could stand reading for longer than an hour at a time. like the plot was so well written and worldbuilding was so amazing and the characters were all so mwah mwah blorbo. it's only been like 6 months since i started book 1 (im pretty sure it was late december) i feel so nostalgic for the early days :). stupid fucking gansey with his stupid fucking notebook, ronan who had chronic “im obnoxious" disease. adam and his whole thing:(.

i find it so kind of funny sad how ronan and adam and like. and he. and. him punching adams dad like that was whew. also spent the entire book in distress that adam was sticking around so that he could ask glendower for the favor. :(((like that broke my heart ADAM YOURE STRONGER THAN THIS I SWEAR YOU CAN DO IT you are capable of great things babey:((((((.

as for book two. hmmmm. hmmmmm. im forced to admit i didn’t like the dream thieves as much. not that it was a bad book it was a great book but adam was like having a mental breakdown and so he was being mean to everyone and then ronan was taking drugs like candy under kavinsky’s supervision and that also made me sad. to quote myself “i always want more complex characters and storylines with realistic trauma and reactions until my favorite character is mean” snsjdjdnd. mr gray was like 🔫🔫🔫 i didn’t like him but then he was redeemed i suppose. he’s aight, esp with how he protected the kids in later books.

when i was reading i liveblogged in kestrel's server because @littlebluejane had read the books before me and provided excellent reactions to my reactions. was reading out of a paper book so i have like several pictures of pages of the best lines and ouch it hurts so bad. like the dynamic between blue and ronan was so good :(((asshole who cares and asshole who doesn't. the “wrong demon" line from when adam and ronan were driving around town haunts me to this day, and then blue and noah <333 they were in love but platonically.

[SPEAKING OF NOAH when i finally connected the dots in book four and got to the scene where NOAH is the one telling gansey that glendower saved him i lost my god damn mother fucking mind. like holy shit. HUHH. i will never recover. ever ever.]

i would mention shit from like cdth but i just finished it and the series isn’t done yet so we can’t find all the fun easter eggs and. mostly i’m just sort of reeling. so much happened in this book but mostly the summary on the inside was misleading because it implies hennessy and farooq-lane and ronan are all going to coincide but i don’t think farooq-lane even gets to look at the two of them. very misleading smh. parsifal was on my shitlist at first but after he died he’s off the hook ig. matthew and his whole THING killed me absolutely slaughtered me. also the implication that aurora was based off someone else. yeah. a Lot of stuff happened in this book. yeah.

ne ways this got so so long i’m sorry i had to relocate to my notes app bc i was like wait this doesn’t make any sense this is all jumbled up so then i regrouped i rearranged i rescouted and now we are here. at the end of this post. sorry moon sorry followers have fun reading all of this. read the raven cycle. four books all roughly 400 pages by maggie steifvater. good yes yes good.

#ask #tofumoons #long time no see <333 #trc spoilers #cdth spoilers #nova talks

[lesbian-boo-radley]

Ok so most of this centers around part 8 (shock i know).

First the thing about signs in the beginning and end still has me flailing. Like holy shit, what a way to tie not only that part together but the rest of the story to! So yeah, still not over that.

So idk how to say it best but just imagine the 'thats growth' meme for Regina, especially in parts 6 , 7, and 8. Regina seems like she's really beating herself up over how she's handled things, which sure havent been the best, but i dont think she's giving herself enough credit. But that may be projecting my wants/desire for someone to love and prioritize and care about me in ways that require a degree of trust i dont have... but we're not going to talk about that! :b

Which is interesting because Emma has some heavy thoughts in part 8: “I feel like I tricked you, Regina,” Emma snapped, stomping her foot and looking up at her with a truly painful expression on her face. “I feel like I manipulated you into getting me out of my family. We met because of me and everything was great and sexy and just what I fucking wanted it to be and I did EVERYTHING I could to make you fall in love with me and now I just keep dumping all of my shit on you and now you feel like you have to do this or-” AND FUCK IF THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU WANT TO WRAP THEM IN BUBBLE WRAP AND PROTECT THEM AGAINST THE WORLD

... if you cant tell im excited to see where they go from this, because unpacking that /trauma/ will be a trip

Oh and the potential Mal/Mulan - look. I may or may not be internally screaming for various reasons. Im super curious to see how Emma and Mulan would interact in a little headspace, both in a playdate/camp in Regina's backyard and at the club.

*flailing* Thank you anon! I'm so glad you appreciate the signs thing. I know it is silly but I'm a really big believer in signs myself and have a little list of superstitions I usually adhere by out of habit and what-ifs lol. And I get it Anon, about the degree of trust thing. That is an incredibly difficult thing to place in anyone. Emma's words there about how she feels like she has tricked Regina kind of mirror my own personal issues with dating in a complicated way so I'm glad that you were able to have that same experience of relating/projecting with Regina lol. Admittedly one of the reasons I've been writing this next part so slowly is because it is going to set up what unpacking trauma and healing will look like for them and I want to do it right. It's very much a, Emma still has a LOT of problems that have to be worked through now and they have to be patient about it. And the Emma/Mulan interaction is going to be hella cute but what I'm very excited to write and have others read is the interactions between Mulan and Regina at the beginning of that section of the fic where they are not friends who play video games and smoke weed together, but a nervous little and a Caretaker who is "responsible" for that little. At least until Mal is like MINE.

Anyways, sorry for the word vomit but talking about my fic helps me write more of it so thank you for the long thought out message to reply to 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

#swan queen #bringing down the houses #thisisapseudonym #swan queen fanfic #thisismypseudonym

[handdrawnfantasma]

making another Extremely Niche AU under the readmore bc the concept just exploded into my brain and if i do not put it out somewhere in the ether my head will EXPLODE but afaik none of my usual AU criminal crowd (tm) have seen the pink shark movie yet

okay but seriously i’ve accidentally tripped into DESPERATELY needing a holy grail war AU lmao like. the building blocks are all already there. the master-servant pairups and pre-requisite parallels between those pairups are all already baked in, this is all low-hanging fruit thematically speaking, both canons even have knights and playing with the concepts of heroes and monsters as a major flavour, i dont even have to REACH here

i havent decided if this is just straight-up the nasuverse or if this is just nasuverse-flavoured nimonamovieverse but ANYWAY Ambrosius is a ridiculously perfect fit as the master from a redonkulously old-ass mage family who has been preparing his entire life for this but similarly to Rin cannot actually turn himself into enough of a machine to be a truly “great” mage. obviously summons the Saber class and just to add another layer of delicious fucked-up-ness to the fucked-up souffle i am creating and really hammer home the parallels HGW AUs excel at OF COURSE it’s Gloreth he’s summoning, like let’s make this even more uncomfortable for everyone by summoning your literal fucking old as balls ancestor

meanwhile Bal is absolutely from outside all this secret mage nonsense world but for this to work he needs to have enough magic circuits to make him a viable candidate for the grail to dump Command Seals onto and since i have the keys to the AU im saying that he has an ASTONISHING amount for someone from the outside. idk exactly what his Deal is yet im still cooking but i think Valerin is kind of vaguely a Waver-esque figure in this AU, from an ancient and powerful mage family herself but has made enemies bc she wants to reform a whole lot of This Bullshit, actually, and she idk saved Bal’s life when he was a kid and he had Some kind of brush with the world of magic that he legitimately should Not have survived?? and so idk maybe they have a vaguely Kiritusugu-Shirou situation going on, again, not entirely sure, still cooking. EITHER WAY THO Valerin still gets murdered on the first night of the HGW and Bal still happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, accidentally summons Nimona (who doesn’t seem to know or care WHAT Servant class she is if any and also like arturia pendragon my beloved can’t go into spirit form (bc shes not a spirit huehuehue)), chaos and shenanigans ensue as these two try to survive the HGW and find out who actually murdered Bal’s kind-of-sort-of foster mother in cold blood and also Nimona is totally out to BREAK the HGW right from the outset im just saying

for extra Drama(tm) Bal and Ambrosius still know each other and are still dating before the HGW kicks off but are both completely oblivious to the other’s involvement in the world of magic and so they both get the absolute shock of their lives the first time they inevitably see each other with their Servants (and then yet another shock when both of their Servants go NUTS as soon as they lock eyes on one another, kill bill sirens blaring) and so this is entirely detrimental to any possibilities of working together at least at first (Gloreth v Nimona cage fight, terrible attempts at solving centuries-old issues with the power of incredible violence)

a running thing is everyone trying to figure out What Class nimona is and not being able to get anywhere bc she seems to have features of all of them and that’s BEFORE getting into the shapeshifting??? eventually people figure she must be either Archer or Berserker via process of elimination after seeing everyone else’s Servants but spoiler alert they are still Wrong, she is an outside-context problem

Ambrosius probably still ends up being responsible for Bal losing an arm at some point, sorry guys this is a Canon Event(tm) (EDITED BECAUSE I JUST REALISED I AM VERY DENSE TODAY bc after posting this and going to make dinner i realised that ur command seals show up on ur dominant hand. it happens bc of Bal’s command seals. like Ambrosius did not go into it INTENDING to cut the entire fucking arm off or even part of the arm off but that is what ends up happening when things somehow Escalate Quickly. (his actual intent was probs to get Bal to just give up his command seals bc then he’d be out of the war, what he did not count on was a) that Bal is still determined to find out who actually killed Valerin and bring them to justice bc by this point he is probably a legit suspect and has been dodging arrest for days and he KNOWS he is not going to find out who killed her unless he sticks around in this stupid mage world for a bit longer, and b) that by this point Bal has already bonded with Nimona and giving up his command seals would feel a lot like betraying her, which?? no??? (this of course has a heaping of delicious irony added on top of it when it transpires that actually Nimona can get by quite well without any Command Seals holding her anywhere, ut-oh))

the Director is pretty much literally Kirei Kotomine here by which i mean she’s supposedly the neutral Overseer for the HGW but is actually breaking so many rules bc she has her own Servant (Assassin just to be REALLY on the nose), and ALSO Valerin’s Lancer-class Servant that she stole from her on the same night she murdered her and took her Command Seals. is Worryingly invested in Ambrosius winning the HGW

idk who the other Masters are, Todd maybe??? (with a Rider-class Servant???) and maybe Meredith from the comic (with a Caster-class???) to round things out??? who knows who the mysterious 7th Master is

anyway this fic is absolutely also an excuse for a Gloreth redemption arc, nothing like being summoned to a time a full millenium after you’re dead and seeing the full ramifications of just HOW MUCH the legacy that came out of something you did as a scared kid turning on your friend fucked literally everything up not least the descendant that summoned you

im finally running out of steam now thank the lord but im also now turning over and over the conviction i have that nimona would absolutely DESPISE the very CONCEPT of the Command Seals and how this could be an in for some spicy Drama... i am Considering...

if you actually read all this then thank you for getting through the Mess of me exorcising this from my brain, that was extremely lush of you :’)

#for the curious. this is bc i was reading the soulmates (derogatory) fic that has been updating in the ao3 tag recently. #and the worldbuilding in there had INTENSE fate/magus style fcked-up family dynamics it was chef's kiss. #and the part of my brain that got snagged on the tohsaka-matou drama in 2013 woke up and is now out for Blood #the au witch strikes again

[crushpunchh]

for the ask game LILITH

youve doomed yourself im not going to answer this ask for like an hour because ill be saying so much. shes in my head 24/7

illget around to the hunter ask too!!! just maybe in a little while because of how much im about to say

What I like about them

high int low wis build. stupidest cheeto puff but i say it affectionately. anyway its like. shes trying SO HARD. its obvious she is doing her best throughout the entire show but shes like. A fucking realistically written character who is misguided and MASSIVELY FUCKING UP AT EVERY TURN. but she's TRYING she's trying REALLY HARD. she WANTS to be a good person she WANTS to help eda she WANTS to fix things!!!! unfortunately for her shes narratively doomed.

What I dislike about them

high int low wis build but like. negative. shes so fucking smart but she totally lacks any common sense. she would not be able to do half the shit she does if she weren't *really* smart, but also she simply would not have done half the shit she does if she weren't *really* dumb. schrodinger's intellect

Favourite moment

ALL of elsewhere and elsewhen. like yes girl. punch that bitch in the face. be incredibly suspicious all episode and still be susceptible to manipulation because you're still healing. realize you've hit your lifelong 'nearly killing your niece' quota and that eda will actually genuinely maybe murder you if you let her nearly get killed again.

Least favourite moment

hm. now like she definitely has a lot worse moments but i gotta say keeping up afearances. like girl no. that's an 8 year old. stop projecting your insane mommy issue game onto an excited 8 year old. he did nothing. i want to grab her and shake her back and forth like a maraca jesus CHRIST.

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

HER SCOUT YEARS!!! Put her on that fucking mountain. Girl vs allconsuming guilt vs the cult she just joined who will WIN. i DONT KNOW BUT THE GIRL WILL DEFINITELY LOSE HOLY **SHIT!!!!** Also just her time in the coven in general.... i would KILL for a spinoff i know its not happening but AHEEHEE....

An interesting AU for this character

you know what i WILL advertise my own au. this may become a fic at some point but right now im just fistfighting the plot trying to get it to behave. the working title is Lilith Clawthorne's Time Loop Extravaganza.

i KNOW ive told you about this but whateve.r.

lilith, 16 years old, like 13 months out from cursing eda, gets a week off home because the golden guard fufking dies. naturally, she, genius, decides to clean out her room to avoid interacting with her family. finds her time pool shit. goes Oh.... and then spends a full day at the library researching time magic that doesn't spit you out at just some randomass time. finds a spell. traps herself in a time loop going from the day before the golden guard dies to the next week. and we go from there!

A crossover

HM. i have a encanto/toh crossover au thats really silly. shes not a main character in it (shocking i know) but its great.

realistically gravity falls is hilarious. she finds out eda married a guy, stole his car, immediately drove it into a ditch, transformed, stole half of kfc's stock, and then left and shes like ?????????

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

no <3

Other ships?

no <3

BROTP

her and hunter are fucking hialrious and i NEED to see them interact it would be so goddamn funny. they're like. SORT OF FRIENDS. but if anything goes wrong they instantly throw each other under the bus. i think they're on bad terms for s1 because of the basilisk escape though <//3

also her and eda but thats just a given because im deeply abnormal about the clawthorne sisters.

her and darius also! theyre so fucking funny. little bit of a rant here but i think that scouts are paired into like .teams for training exercises and shit. and i also think that darius was a scout for a while up until the mountain trial at which point he, having already been considering leaving, quit. so i think she and him were partners when they were both scouts and had a liiiiittle bit of a falling out when he quit. and then when he becomes a coven head too its like Oh. Hi.

NOTP

all of it <3 especially though i see lilith/belos disturbingly often when im just scrolling and like. eugh.

however NOTP in terms of friends. hm. no clue i think her as friends with most everyone is highly entertaining. because shes so terrible at everything. i do, however, think she hates kikimora and stays as far away as she can from her at all times always.

An assortment of headcanons! 

OKAYYY. I've told you like most of these because i never stop talking about her sorry but don't even worry about it.

SO! That mask she has in s1! The one she wears literally twice! That gem on it is the same type of gem that Odalia has on Amity. She hates it and goes out of her way not to wear it.

despite it being the boiling isles with an insanely warm climate when shes in the coven she literally just straight up doesn't have any short sleeve shirts. this is thanks to her being deranged.

so. ears. witch body language. et cetera et cetera. lilith has the resting bitch face of a lifetime* but she never got a handle on that.

RELATED: she got into shit really often when she was a scout for Literally Just Stimming because Its the emperors coven and the emperors coven is the probable literal least welcoming place for autistic people on the entire isles. shes resorted to just messing with her hair because she can totally excuse it with like ohhh my hair was messed up blah blah. i do this actually but just because not because of any elaborate plan to get away with stimming in public.

in s1 shes on anxiety meds but they're like the most fucking insanely outdated prescription ever. hasn't gotten adjusted since she was 18. same with her glasses. in s2, however, eda manages to badger her into seeing a healer (hypocrite, eda has not seen a healer in 30 years either) and she gets her meds & glasses prescription updated. still on anxiety meds, also on antipsychotics now. a little bit of why shes so much more stable** in s2b! yes girl, get on meds that actually work for you! holy shit why have you not seen a doctor already!

*Resting Bitch Face may not extend to embarrassment call (NUMBER) to buy today

**trying to start a cult in her 8 year old nephews name is the exception and not the rule

#crush.txt #response #lctle #<- the time loop au

[clownkiwi]

addition from last reblog's tags because Yea, i really wanna talk about this scene from dbz (im specifically using the dbza one)

you wouldnt think anything couldve had an impact on me when i was a senior on high school, ready & excited to move onto bigger things, but. fuck.

gohan turning super saiyan 2 for the first time probably might've been the peak of his character development ever since he was conceived at the beginning of dbz (& lets be honest, the peak of dbz overall), its an incredibly important and crucial moment he has to go through because for the entirety of the series. he's mostly been either crying & whining (because he's. well. a kid. at this point in the story he's like 11 or 12 i believe???), with a bunch of dramatic anger fits that cause a boost in power

so at this point, with gohan battered and bleeding, losing hope that he couldn't beat cell because he doesn't have those same anger fits like he used to, android 16's head (yea, he was also in the crossfire of it all) tells gohan to stop holding back & berates him for basically letting everyone he ever loved to die because of his pacifism

and yea, cell crushes his head, with android 16 dead. forever, not coming back. cell gleefully taunting "i can say he went to a better place but, we both know he never had a soul"

at this point, gohan's rage reaches its limit. a gorgeous rendition of "tamashii tai tamashii" starts playing as gohan screams into the air, shattering the ground beneath him, shocking everyone around him; even the vile, heartless monster, cell. as he powers up to a new form even stronger than goku or vegeta. as we cut back to gohan's face at the climax of this scene, tears are flying up from his face, and as the episode is ending, the tears fade away, changing his expression from mourning to determination

holy shit, even as a cynical 18 year old in high school that loved cartoons, this scene definitely got to me. gohans emotions changing, his emotions literally powering him up to his strongest form (until the majin buu arc and the new movie, from what i've heard), the gorgeous rendition of the iconic song that played in the original version of this scene, id have to say this is my favorite scene in both dbza & dbz!!!

it highly inspired the original plans for how i was gonna end my webcomic, superlove (its now being changed for it be more original, but i'll still keep the core inspiration emotional beats). this was just such a powerful moment for me, i dont think any moment in any anime could ever change me again quite like this one

#rubys clown thoughts #SORRY FOR RAMBLING LOL this scene specifically means so much to me. its really quite chilling to the point of getting me to tears #long post #i couldve made a video on this scene but im sure people have before #Youtube

[softshouyous-archive]

sunlight ☀️

1. finished studying for my last exam for my speech class and !!! i!!! passed!!! im so relieved oh my GOD

2. ive kindaaa been slacking off in terms of exercising djdkkdkd but i did a lot of that today and im just feeling really accomplished!!!!

#my hands were SWEATING when i was takimg the exam #i was just like oh god oh fuck im GONNA FAILLLL shsjsssn #and i was taking notes of questioms that i felt like i got wrong so that when i finished the exam #i could go back and check to see what i got wrong #and i only got 4 wrong out of 40.... LIKE HELLO??? THE SHOCK I EXPERIENCED #like i really thought i was going to get more wrong ???? #i calculated it and thats apparently a 40?? um wtf..... #and ir was SO SCARY bc i was on BORDERLINE like i literallt had a 70 percent in the class so if i didnt do that well on the exam i would #have d worded.... but omg.... holy shid #im just... so incredibly relieved that i passed and that i dont have to retake it omg... #i didnt do much today but also i did??? i feel vvv accomplished #but also when we had our last class he said that hed have grades up within a week of the last exam #but the exam is graded and added to the class grade automatically so idk ?? if theres more that hes gonna add... #but.. still... wow... i made it LOL #sl