#they deserved atleast one convo together | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

somewhereincairparavel · 1 month

Text

No thoughts.

Just thinking about how Reyna kept her distance from Jason because of Venus, fearing heartbreak, but ended up getting heartbroken anyway.

Just thinking about how Jason felt guilty about Reyna's feelings for him, thinking that he led her on, and felt truly sorry that he didn't love her back.

Just thinking about how bitter Reyna sounded when she said that Jason was no longer fully roman anymore.

Just thinking about how, upon seeing Thalia's eyes, the only thing Reyna can think of is Jason's startling blue stare.

Just thinking about how Jason could tell that Reyna was tired simply by noting how her shoulders move.

Just thinking about how Reyna rarely compliments anyone, but fondly calls Jason an "all American boy".

Just thinking about how Jason would never bet against Reyna under any circumstances, and knows if anyone is capable of completing dangerous missions, it's Reyna.

Just thinking about how Reyna daydreamt of her and Jason holding hands, walking in the garden.

Just thinking about how Reyna and Jason would geek over their shared interest of roman history.

Just thinking about how Jason HATES unkept promises, yet the only unkept promise he'd unintentionally made was that if he and Reyna would go visit Diocletian's sceptre, it would only be them visiting TOGETHER. Not seperately. The fates ruined his chance of keeping that promise.

Just thinking about how Reyna would've felt upon hearing that her once best friend, died tragically saving a god, and that she would never see him again.

Just thinking about how Jason dies with the guilt of not properly reconciling with his old friend.

Just thinking about how Reyna lives with the guilt of keeping her distance from him because of that wretched warning Venus gave her. Maybe if she had not, would they have been together? Would they have atleast remained best friends? Would they have not grown apart?

Just thinking about how Reyna looked like she'd been crying for hours during Jason's funeral.

Just thinking about how they both knew their friendship would never be the same again but refused to confront that bitter reality, so they ran away from it.

Just thinking about how they never even shared one last hug together.

Just thinking about how in the end, both of them most likely only had bittersweet memories of eachother, and that neither of them got to say their final goodbyes.

No thoughts, just the tragic end of Jason Grace and Reyna Avila Ramirez's friendship

679 notes · View notes

machinegunbun · 3 years

Note

What do you think Pete and colson would be like if their girl had a super SUPER toxic ex. My ex was very toxic and he made it seem like I was broken :((

Pete would be both sillier and more serious about it, if that makes sense?

Like he would make fun of him. He would call the dude the loser that he is. He’d joke about

“I mean shit, I’m mentally ill but compared to that guy i’m, like... Bob Ross.“

“Imagine a girl like that gives you a CHANCE and you use it to be toxic. What a fuckin tool.”

If you allowed him he’d call the dude out on the weekly update j

“You’re worse than my girlfriends ex, (his name, atleast first name) fuckin asshole.”

and god forbid he ever sees them in public. We forget this dudes from New York.

Staten Island, New York.

and god forbid he tried contacting you or approaching you in any way. The dude would definitely know his place.

but, also when you were experiencing some mental shit (Trust issues whether its toward yourself or others, Anxiety, etc. whatever you might be going through as a result.) he would be able to give you real coping mechanisms. He would talk about what he’s learned in therapy and how to get through that and become better. He would encourage you to get therapy and 100% he’d pay for it if he needed to and you’d let him.

he’d tell you that you aren’t broken, and that he loves you and you’re perfect and if anything your ex was the broken one. The worst kind of broken. The kind of broken that insists there’s nothing to fix, and keeps hurting others with their rugged edges. He’d remind you it’s already so much that you realized he was toxic and only trying to make you feel broken. It’s so much already that you left him and got out of that situation. Pete treats his girls like fucking royalty and you would be no exception. You would know your worth with Pete, you wouldn’t ever doubt that shit again.

Now, Colson? Depends, which era? Cause wildboy Colson (assuming you managed to lock his ass down and he didn’t END UP being a toxic ex) Diss track. No doubt in my mind. Diss track. If not, atleast a bar in one of his songs about how he wasn’t S H I E T and you are and were

T H A T

bitch. If he saw him in the crowd he’d clown his ass like

Hahah hey, you treated this girl like shit and now youre single and alone in my crowd and im fuckin yo bitch :) crazy how it works out. He’d bring you out on stage and j flexxx dancing with you and shit. hands all over. He’d do that everytime he sung the diss/bar too.

I think wildboy Colson had some trouble expressing emotions other than anger and horniness, but he would try yenno? He’d let you know

“That dude was a piece of shit fr fr and you didn’t deserve that. he’s a fucking idiot and its on sight.”

TTMD/Recent Colson

I feel like he’d be a lot more subtle w it in the since that he wouldn’t make a diss track or anything. If it did come up in his music it’d be more talking about how you’d both been through some shit in the past and came together in healing.

He’d be a lot more responsive emotionally, you’d definitely have convos about your toxic relationships and he’d talk about how the dude was obviously insecure and needed mental help. He’d remind you how beautiful you are and how far you’ve come.

If he ever tried contacting you again you not only have Colson at you side but his friends. They fr would not play around one fuckin bit about that. When the boys found out you’d been through some shit with an ex they didn’t even question it, they didn’t ask for details, just said they’d be there for you no matter what and if it’s ever a problem again you have their phone number.

Overall just love and positivity and reminding you you’re that bitch, it was him, not you. Your growth in such a terrible situation is admirable, and managing to get out can be hard but YOU DID THAT. xx

159 notes · View notes

lovelotsdei · 5 years

Text

To the last guy who said "I love you",

I know it was quite a while since we used to be okay, though we are.

You are, and I think I am not.

We haven't really talked since then, I try a couple of times to reach you out and open our convo again but it seems like you are not just avoiding the topic but also me. And thank goodness that one day I got a chance to know how you've been which is good to know that you're doing great. Having your dreams come true, climbing all the mountains you want to and having a chance to meet someone that you love.

That talk made me reminisce and go back as I realize sooooo many things. Made me hard to sleep at night. Surely does break my heart.

I guess you think that here I am again playing with your heart and playing some games, but Hey! I missed you. I missed talking with you.

And the sad thing here is I missed the chance to keep it. But atleast! lucky me, we were still good friends which I know that's the last thing you could offer.

But I'm still thinking about this a couple of days right now. And it's bothering me, and I can't just stay quiet and leave it all here at the back of my mind, having regret that I did not say this. So, here it goes...

I know that it was too late to regret right now, It's been what? Goin' 2 yrs? right?! But I still remember that messages we used to send each and every day, even at our most hectic days, working with our own careers. But we used to manage it and tried to work it out between us.

Hence one day, my ex texted me.

The story of us was about to begin and there's this jerk try'na ruin the moment (which He actually did, because of this stupid feelings I still have, I became so much confused.) So badly, I let our story stop out of nowhere and erase all the pages like nothing happened.

I closed my doors, even the windows, I didn't let your light sneak out in my room of dwelling in my past (Like the scene saying "It's not you, It's me." What a dumb kind of reason! Tsk!) I decided not to go on for what we are heading to, also due to my priorities and insecurities that adds up with my decision to stop it right away.

Honestly, I got scared that I might be unworthy of your love. I don't want you to feel that you're the second choice and the last resort I have. I don't want you to feel taken for granted and I wanted to be honest and fair with you.

And somewhat there's this couple of reasons that made me stop, like --What if people would know about us they'd probably say "Why me?". That we were not supposed to be together coz I am older. And our circle of friends might think that we were out of our mind. This might not work out for us. And I should just focus with my priorities and forget this feelings coz you don't deserve a person with so much to carry on. I will just be a burden for you.

So I have to do that and I know it's hard for you, never got the chance to ask and to know why and what's the real reason behind.

I'm sorry for leaving you hanging, and wondering what's wrong with you. I don't mean to hurt you and I don't want you to feel that there's something wrong with you. Because there's not even one single bad thing I could say about you. You are such a good person, a good friend and a good man.

You made me feel those good old days again, bringing back those butterflies in my stomach, those smiles, giggles and laughter that I can't resist whenever I read those good mornings and good nights. You made me feel special again.

Remember when you're about to fetch me after work? I did not believe that you are really coming, so I headed first, unknowing you're already on the way for me. I really don't believe it, until I confirmed it, calling you while you are inside the jeep. And so I decided to wait you at 7/11 and finally meet you. (Sumabit ka pa nun pabalik diba? Hirap ka kasing makasakay.) I felt really nervous, coz that serves as our first date. Then you walk me home. That is really sweet. That's the time I said to myself that "Wow! He really is serious." and " I know this will be worth it."

You might not believe this but at that moment I see you already in my future.

And you know what?! You're the guy that comes in my mind whenever someone asks "kelan ka mag-a-asawa." , I managed to smile and respond "Baka hindi na." coz I already lost the man I am about to have forever.

Everytime that I remember that short period of time being with you I always use to smile. I will not let myself cry eventhough we did not end up good. Coz it was still the best part of my life. I thank God for those days.

I know that even you'll read this there's no chance to bring it all back to pieces. But I hope the friendship will still last. All I want for you is all the happiness, success and love that you deserve.

I've never got a chance to reply with the last message you sent me before that night I blocked you and choose to leave you alone and so let me have this only chance to say this,

I love you too.

Goodbye my almost lover. 😊

0 notes

somedaypast-thesunset · 6 years

Text

I'm pretty proud of myself today. It's easy to feel like you're doing better when there's no imminent problem - it's coping with those problems that really define "doing better". Today I did better.

I was really upset I didn't get my deposit from welfare and I had alot of negative thoughts like I don't deserve this money anywYs and I should just struggle because it's a hand out but like that's not really okay and even if other people think that they're not stealing food to eat? I live a secondary very poverty filled life. I keep up an act of being healthy or not hungry or not in need. I put an effort into how I look even if I can't really afford to all the time because your less likely to receive help the more you look like you need help.

But this is my honest true life and I actually appreciate my friend seeing through my jokes about it and responding in a moderately serious manner and relating to my plight. It helped set a better honest reality between us as well.

So I cried about it and was frustrated. I wanted to get more overdraft but it's shameful I'm in overdraft already and I shouldn't need to anyways. They wouldn't do it over the phone. I decided to get dressed and take pictures. Then I went to the square and worked on my laptop for an hour before it died and I went home. But then a few hours later, after eating lunch, I went to the library and continued to work on my shop before going home again.

I got frustrated around 5 - still no money and it's been six fucking days. Four business days. Crazy. It's a direct deposit. I went to the bank and asked about it - they had no answer. I asked about overdraft and I had like an awkward meeting with I suppose my financial guy. He d3cidrd to apply for a credit card like its somehow any better but then forged the hell out of the application and I left but wow the insane lies he put that are not remotely what my life is.like he created a fantasy life on paper that is just lies. I did not realize until I walked away because I did not tell him anything of this nature so wow.

Then I saw a friend who offered more cash which I felt realllllllly shitty for because she's given me 140$ in like a week. Literally. And I can only hope she doesn't put that together cuz wow that's not good. But I didn't ask her for anything but 50 so it's less bad but not good. Not proud. I am trying though. This is the most amount of trying I've done and like I want to just be better but it's a process and I'm really learning to accept the process of getting better. It really is like daily hourly thing and I'm being mindful to take it easy because I can't do it all. Im not even ready to. But I am ready to let go of my past and my tragedy. Here's a fun tinder fact: no matter how long u talk to a person, no matter what topic if youbmention dead parents the convo almost always stops. I am literally being myself. I have no I'll will or anything like I'm being friendly and socializing and being interested in the people of the world and as soon as that drops, it's like a r3cord scratch, everyone leaves. Like am I lying? Do they think I'm making it up? Is it too heavy? Man, ppl casually drop oh I'm having dinner at mybmoms or fishing with dad but I can't even say they don't exist.

This is not a me problem. That's their problem and I'm not mad about it but it's something to know. I have to ignore this to maintain regular conversation and that sucks but I have to adapt.

I'm becoming independent from him and it's great not to be tied up emotionally in him. I love him and it's not over but I really don't care right now. I am working on me. He said today in jest that I didn't call him back like I said I would a few hours before. I didn't realize he even cared. He doesn't really but he does. He mentioned not getting a desperation text yesterday I guess because he called and I didn't actually call back. He knows I'm on tinder as well and I'm sincerely not even going to meet anyone in person but it's really harmless. I think he knows this but obviously feels some ways.

To be honest I'm not sure how to be a better partner right now. I include him in my happenings for the most part and I maintain interest in his life but he's not here and I'm honestly getting bored. Hopefully as I get better I'll find more things to occupy my time. Like if I keep trying and working on myself it'll just come to my life because it's apart of getting better. Maybe I'll paint. The mandolin was really good even if I play3d it 5 times. That really saved me and like gave me one iota of who I am. I am a wake up and do a thing person. I make it happen. And I showed myself that I could get a mandolin and play it to some d3gree. I made music with it. Very well invested 17$ to lay on the floor and play bad mandolin.

So I can do this. And maybe progress and gettingbbeter sometimes is boring. That's what makes it unappealing to the depressed. It's not super fun all the time. It's not instant happy.

I have no plans for tomorrow. I really want my bike back from my not great friends house but she's far and sucks. I don't want to hang out with her. I don't have a ton of options and I mostly hangout with her for free weed now. Not because I really want to see her. Doesn't help the boredom problem.

I do have some money and I hope my other money comes in because I'm scared to spend this now. Actually it's okay because I've spent some and can't afford easy weed. I think I'll survive with the small amounts I gather and if I do go to her house for free weed I really need to ride my bike home so maybe I won't go unless I do that but weed isn't known for its activity.

Atleast I'll have reason to go out and eat. Maybe grocery store for cat food. New pens for my journal. I wish I had my bike to go the other way even though it's probably the same distance as the normal walk. I could get better pens.

Whatever. If I wake up and get dressed it'll be great. I'm trying to take a picture a day which is easy and builds confidence and explores my early creative life passions again. I used to take great self portraits. I want to do that again but my phone really sucks. I still used to make do anyways. I'm trying to do my makeup with effort even though it's cheap shitty makeup. I look okay though. I'm not trying to hide anything but it's like putting on a mask and helps me pretend like I'm apart of the hustle too.

I do miss him.

0 notes