#they spend like 95% of the story being miserable lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yiannalianos · 3 years

Text

ALL IN: May 14th, 2021.

This morning, I put my foot down. I promise myself to NOT speak to myself the way I did all day yesterday. I spent a good portion of the day crying, feeling sorry for myself, hating the way I looked, and apologizing to others for the view. I refuse to spend my summer this way. No, gaining a significant amount of weight, losing the sight of all my hard earned muscle, and eating past fullness (ON PURPOSE) isn’t fun. It’s not. BUT, it’s fucking worth it. You know why? Because when I AM recovered, healed, have a healthy menstrual cycle, and am able to train like a badass again (not as much as before bc that’s what got me into this mess in the first place...), I will be SO fucking strong to have overcomed what 98% of woman fear & this is impossible. I will be able to say: I FUCKING DID THAT. I DID WHAT SO MANY WOMEN CAN’T DO, which is fully recover from an ED, recover from the obsession of looking a certain way or being a certain size, gain an appropriate amount of weight for my body to be fertile, and simply come out the BEST version of myself. I know my story will resonate with so many women. I see it on the daily... the restriction, being a prisoner of your own thoughts, killing your nervous system with hours of intense exercise, I see it all. It’s so sad... and I mean SO sad that even women over the age of 40-50 are STILL trying to lose weight. Look, diets don’t work. It’s been scientifically proven that 95% of all diets fail. Why? Because your body DOESN’T WANT TO STARVE, BE IN A DEFICIT, OR BE SKIN AND BONES. IF they did, our hormones would still function, we wouldn’t lose our hair, our mental health wouldn’t plumit, our relationships wouldn’t suck, our sex drives would be high, and we’d be CONFIDENT. Confident you ask? Yeah. Confident. When you’re struggling with the pursuit of ALWAYS NEEDING TO CHANGE YOUR BODY, you’re never happy. Trust me, at 108lbs soaking wet, with veins running through my six pack and my shoulders ready to burst, I had the WORST self-esteem. Isn’t that crazy how that works? IT didn’t MATTER that I got so many compliments, I was miserable. I wouldn’t allow for ANY deviation in my nutrition or exercise routine, and if I did, the anxiety would be suffocating. After a hard day like yesterday, it’s important for me to rewire my thoughts abou this process. THIS PROCESS IS TEMPORARY, BUT THE THINGS I WILL GAIN FROM IT WILL CHANGE MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER. THE LIFE OF MY LOVED ONES, FRIENDS, AND FUTURE CHILDREN. So yeah, the cellulite is INCREDIBLY hard to swallow, my bras not fitting doesn’t feel so good, and the acne on my face isn’t helping, but it’s fucking worth it. I will do anything in my power to restore and regain peace within my body and my mind.

It’s been especially tough dealing with this because we’ve been in lockdown for over 15 months. Going out, exploring, trying new restaurants, and being around friends would be SO helpful in this situation because it would help distract me from my thoughts. It’s tough when I literally LIVE in the middle of a gym (my homegym and room are both in the basement... currently starring at a barbell as I type... LOL) and am surrounded by dieters. What’s keeping me going in the OUTCOME. Whether it’s in 2, 6, 12 months from now, I know that I will be healthier, happier, and the strongest person I know. The strength, courage, and trust in my body that it takes to go through a process like this is unmatched. The exploration of my thoughts, triggers, surroundings, and body are going to be tools I will use to overcome any other challenges I face in life. If people thought I was tough because I could shoulder press 50′s or because I was so diligent with a 6-pack as a result, I can’t wait to see how tough people will think I am after having gone through weight gain in the middle of the summer. This isn’t easy, and it’s really only just begun.

I’m cutting the bullshit with myself TODAY. NO more comparison, no more mental restriction, no more looking in the mirror and feeling sorry for myself, no more spending hours bawling my eyes out, and no more thinking about what the future holds. I promise to myself RIGHT now that I can do this.I will do this. And I will come out WAY fucking stronger than ever before. Here’s to the weekend, and here’s to me. Let’s conquer this thing.

#i'm sad #hard day #recovery #growth #body positive #healing #intuitive eating #eating disoder recovery #nutrition #wellness #bodylovin #yogapractice #meditatemore #one day at a time

2 notes · View notes

skyshipper · 3 years

Text

blog tag

I was tagged by the very sweet @the-blind-assassin-12 (who has the cutest dog in the world in case anyone is wondering). 💛

1. Why did you choose your url?

Oh man, I fucking HATE coming up with blog names because everything I come up with is usually taken. I started this blog several years ago to celebrate my love of Nick & June from the Handmaid’s Tale. I hadn’t been on tumblr in quite a few years and that ship brought me back to fandom land. I chose “sky” because when I’m on tumblr I feel like my head is in the clouds and “shipper” because I was here to post about a specific ship. Idk, I don’t love it and it’s not even a good concept but it’s staying forever because I loathe coming up with new blog names. I also get really confused on my own dash when people change their urls?? Lol, I’m a visual person. So anyway, that’s it. That’s the name. It kinda sucks but here we are.

2. Any side blogs?

Yep, but I pretty much abandoned it. I’ve found that one blog is more than enough to manage for me. I originally created it when I wanted to post stuff for shows outside of The Handmaid’s Tale. Then I decided that was silly and I should post whatever the hell I feel like. It’s very easy on social media to get caught up in likes, followers, reblogs, etc.....but ultimately I’m here for me. I know 95% of the people who follow this blog came here for content for another show, but they don’t have to stay and that’s fine. I’m just out here doing my own thing, curating a list of shit I’m into at the moment. If you’re into it too, then cool! If not, that is also cool.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I’ve come and gone many times. I think I had a blog around 2014 for a show/fandom that shall not be named, which I rage deleted in a fit one day. Then I had a lurker blog for a few years. I think I’ve had this one for maybe 2-3 years??? I don’t think I logged in for the majority of 2020, because the pandemic rollercoaster took an emotional toll on me just like everyone else. I’ve made a conscious decision this year to only spend my free time & social media time on things that are making me feel happy, not anxious, frustrated or sad. Din Djarin brought me back here but I’ve stayed for Pedro Pascal. Pedro makes everyone happy, bless his beautiful soul. ❤️

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope. I tried queuing posts for a while but I just found it to be too much work. Now I just reblog/like stuff on the spot.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

To celebrate my love of Nick & June from The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m not really into the show anymore because the writing is total shit, but season one (when they were working off of Margaret Atwood’s novel) is still a masterpiece.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because Javier Peña is hot as fuck, that’s why. Listen, I have a hard time picking an icon and get irrationally attached to it when I do. There are so many great Pedro pictures and characters to choose from. I still think of going back to my original Pedro icon from that Vanity Fair photoshoot because it’s one of my absolute favorite pictures of him and I still love it so much. I’ve been messing around in Photoshop trying to make a cool background for it and have failed miserably to create anything I like thus far. So for now, Javi is staying.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Once again, because Javier Peña is hot as fuck, that’s why. I never held a handgun in my life, but ohhhhh, so sexy when fictional characters I love do it. Same with the cigarette smoking. Good lord just thinking about this is making me feel things. 😅

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

This weapons set I made for Din. I’m still shocked that happened because that is BY FAR the most notes I’ve ever received on a post and it will probably never happen again. I peaked too soon, haha! I just got Photoshop in February or March of this year after making mediocre gifs with a series of phone apps for years. That was maybe the second or third set I ever made in Photoshop, so I was kind of stunned it took off like that. What can I say, everyone finds Din’s weapons as sexy as I do, I guess. I do sometimes look at it and wish I would have made better quality gifs but I was, and still am, learning. Now when I look at I try and use it as a reminder that my gifs are slowly improving (at least I hope so anyway) and that makes me happy. I still get notes on that post daily which both surprises me and makes my heart all warm and fuzzy.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I’m not really sure because I never went through and counted??? Maybe 30ish?

10. How many followers do you have?

1363, at least 1200 of which came here for Nick & June. I hope all of you like Pedro Pascal & Star Wars because I’m going to be stuck in this mode for a long time!! 🤡

11. How many people do you follow?

157

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

No, not that I can remember anyway. Tumblr & fandom in general are way more fun for me when I spend time focusing on good things. Life (this past year especially) is hard enough. I just want to bask in the glow of Pedro’s beautiful heart and face, live in the fantasy worlds of Star Wars, read smutty things from amazing writers, and enjoy beautiful gifs & edits from content creators. All of these things bring me joy and that’s why I’m here. This is a positive vibes only space for me.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Too much??? I like to keep my work tabs open on my computer and then peak at pretty things throughout the day as a little reward when I get stuff done. Sometimes that leads to unexpected breaks (like reading fanfiction at 11am on a Tuesday) but I’m not sad. I work for myself so there is no one to get mad at me, just a pile of work that keeps growing because I’m screwing around.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nah. I’m here for pretty things, wonderful writing and nice people. If someone is an asshole I just block them, problem solved. Which has only happened to me once that I can recall and it was years ago. I try to only follow people that cultivate a space for kindness and positivity as well, that way there is nothing to argue about......just mutual pining over lovely things.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Ugh, love/hate relationship. I definitely understand why people who create things want as many people to see it as possible. It takes a long time to create gifs/edits/write stories so I see the value in reblogs and user tags as a way to boost posts to get your stuff out there in front of as many eyes as possible. Personally, I feel like people should reblog things only when and if they want to do it. I never want anyone to reblog my creations because they feel like they have to do that. I want them to reblog it because it made them happy and/or they liked something I created. Believe it or not, I notice when a follower of mine is a person that usually only “likes” my posts and then suddenly reblogs something with the nicest tags about a post saying it’s pretty, they love it, etc. For me, that’s extremely rewarding because something I made resonated with that person. I also believe that if you’re creating things only for reblogs or likes then you’re focused on the endgame and competition (getting the most notes, etc.) which is never a good headspace to be in for creating things. I know that can be hard because social media creates anxiety, depression and imposter syndrome, but the amount of notes on a post really and truly does not always equate to the best content. So much of it is timing, or a post getting boosted by bigger blogs so more people see it. I try to create things for myself first and foremost and if I am doing that and enjoying myself in the process, who cares how many people see it/like it/reblog it? At the end of the day I want to like what I create and feel like I’m improving my Photoshop knowledge & skills. That’s why I’m here and that’s what I try to stay focused on all the time.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yeah, I do. Except the music questions. Why are there so many music/song questions? I’m the kind of person that lets someone else pick the music most of the time. I also listen to a genre to fit the mood I’m in rather than a specific artist 95% of the time, so I find those song questions really difficult. I also like tag games because I really love to learn more about other people here. I’m really flattered when someone tags me in something because it means they want to get to know me better and since I’m both introverted and shy I always find that really nice. 🥺

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes!! I always want to do those but if I’m being honest, I’m shy and anxious so I always feel like no one will send me any asks if I do it. Lol, that is peak anxiety my friends. Let’s just say I’m working up to doing one someday. I absolutely love reading them when others do them.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Certainly @javier-pena ......I mean, those Din Djarin’s hottest moments and Javier Peña’s hottest moments are straight up iconic. Also @sirtadcooper whose icons/headers are absolutely amazing, instantly recognizable and rightfully used by so many people because they are fucking awesome!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Oh yeah, so many. I have creator crushes on tons of people that are not mutuals too. Jfc, there are so many lovely people here creating amazing things. I will say that @sirtadcooper is honestly one of the sweetest, kindest people I have met in this fandom and one of the most amazing content creators here. A true beacon of original content that I admire greatly. I love that I can pick out her work so easily and that she has a clear style. I aspire to get to that point with my creations some day. @javier-pena makes the mostly insanely crispy gifs and has been very kind about helping me with gif questions in my obsession quest to constantly learn how to become better. I think her gifs are magic at this point because I just don’t understand how they look that consistently amazing all of the fucking time?? Idk, I’m just glad she shares them with us. @trashcora makes some really amazing gifs that I just don’t even know where to begin. Sometimes I look at stuff like this of hers and wonder if people really appreciate the amount of time it takes to create things like that?? Same goes for @millenniumsfalcon where I just can’t even begin to think about how to create gifs that complex and beautiful. I don’t even know what to say, I’m just going to continue to admire these creations from my little corner of the web. As for writers, I absolutely adore anything @frannyzooey writes. I mean, I’m suddenly living for Dave York porn and I’ve never even watched that film??? I’m convinced anything she writes is pure gold. TMTC is one of the best pieces of fanfiction I’ve ever read. I must confess I’ve only read about 3% of the amazing fanfiction in the Pedro/Mandalorian fandom because I get stuck on Masterlists like hers that are so consistently fucking amazing. That and most of my free hours are spent clowning around in Photoshop. I can’t wait to read more stuff from so many other people here. I promise I have a list much longer than I have time for, but I’m getting there!

Tagging: @keeper0fthestars , @teamnick , & @filthybookworm if you would like to. 😊💛

#tag games #about me #jfc i'm a wordy motherfucker #i'm also the queen of typos so sorry for any grammatical errors or missing words #this is probably way more than you bargained for but there it is #and now back to my regularly scheduled work day

11 notes · View notes

idontevenknowme-posts · 6 years

Text

ASK THE BLOGGER

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? anonymous but yes I do

2. are you artistic? id say so yes

3. Have you had your first kiss? yes

4. What is your life goal? to be genuinely happy and in love

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? yes

6. Do you play any sports? only gym

7. What’s your worst fear? being heartbroken once again

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? i honestly dont really have any. most people tend to disappoint me

9. Do you have any cool talents? no

10. are you a morning person? yeah

11. How do you feel about pet names? well its better than being nameless lol

12. Do you like to read? yeah

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. none have changed my life

14. Do you care about your follower count? no

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? getting married

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? yes

17. Do you have any pets? no

18. Are you religious? no

19. Are you a people person? no

20. Are you considered popular? no

21. What is one of your bad habits? biting my nails

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable? that im fucking naive

23. What would you name your children? olivia and noah i think

24. Who’s your celebrity crush? zac efron

25. What’s your best subject? psychology

26. Dogs or cats? dogs

27. most used social media besides tumblr? instagram

28. best friends name? dont have one

29. who does your main family consist of? just me, mum and dad

30. Chocolate or sugar? chocolate

31. have you ever been on a date? yes

32. Do you like roller coasters? yes

33. Can you swim? yes

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse? dont know

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? yes

36. Are your parents together? no

37. What’s your favorite color? blue

38. What country are you from/do you live in? xxx

39. Favorite singer? probably kygo

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? no

41. Do you like dresses? yes

42. Favorite song right now? came here for love

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

44. How old were you when you first got your period? 12

45. Have you ever shot a gun? no

46. Have you ever done yoga? yes

47. Are you a horror girl? no

48. Are you good at giving advice? dont know?? i try

49. Tell us a story about your childhood. first i was happy then I broke

50. How are you doing today? horrible

51. Were you a cute kid? from age 3-6 yes

52. Can you dance? yes i practised it for many years

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? no

54. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes

55. What color are your eyes? blue

56. What’s your favorite animal? dogs

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? yes

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes

59. Do you have good friends? i dont have any

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? no

61. What’s your favorite class? psychology

62. List all the tv shows you are watching. i dont watch any atm

63. Are you organized? yes

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? dont even remember

65. Which tv character do you relate to most? none

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? my depression

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? lol dk

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? i’d be fucking miserable

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? be fat and naked all the time

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? not be born

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yes

74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new? few months ago

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? not my home

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? nothing xD

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? teacher

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? everything

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? few days ago

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence. to become truly happy.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? idk not gonna happen

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? try to figure out how to die

83. How would you spend a billion dollars? clothes, travels etc

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? future

85. What motivates you to succeed? my bf

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? dk

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? woods. not into many people and loud noises

88. Do you believe in life after death? no

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? none

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? dont know, a vacation to france i believe

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? my bf <3 hes the best

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? probably when i get married or have children

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? that the ones you love the most can hurt you the most

94. What do you think happens after we die? we die

95. What would you do if you would be invisible? stalk people lol

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? not hurt myself

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? yess

98. How did your first crush develop? dont remember

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? pain

100. Do you live or do you just exist? exist

0 notes