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tea-and-la · 3 years

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You’re right, it is very annoying how some people (usually a certain brand of Zukka shippers) insist that Zuko HAS to be gay and Toph HAS to be a lesbian.

I mean we all know that the only reason that they think Zuko HAS to be gay is so that people won’t ship him with women instead of with Sokka.

I also find that a lot of Zukkas will insist that Mai, Ty Lee, Toph, and sometimes even Suki and/or Yue all HAVE to be lesbians. You know what all of those girls have in common? They all canonically dated or expressed romantic interest in Zuko or Sokka. Connect the dots.

Obviously not everyone who has those headcanons is like that. People can and should be allowed to headcanon characters however they want. Personally I view Zuko as bisexual and Toph as straight (none of the popular F/F Toph ships appeal to me and I generally find that portrayals of her as LGBT aren’t to my tastes because some - not all - people who headcanon her as such will often exaggerate her masculinity/androgyny far beyond the extent to which it exists in canon in order to make her the “man” in the relationship as well as ignore that the reasons for her gender nonconformity are heavily tied to her trauma and disability and have very little to do with sexuality, which is something that squicks me out. Also dislike how society at large seems to really hate the idea of GNC women being with men because that means they’ll be forced to reconsider their perception of gender roles within M/F relationships). However, those are just my interpretations.

"it is very annoying how some people (usually a certain brand of Zukka shippers) insist that Zuko HAS to be gay and Toph HAS to be a lesbian."

yes exactly! i'm all for people having their head canons, but there is no reason to shame others because they have a different one than you. it reeks of privilege because no head canon is more "right" than another. and also, why are we gatekeeping characters from having other lgbtq+ identities that other fans can identify with? seems very exclusionary to me.

i think the thing that bothers me about zookas is that they will take scenes like the jinko fountain scene and use it as "proof" that he's gay. bc zuko hesitated at first and also because he pulled away and ran away. like, there's so many other reasons for that, including the one that's actually, ya know, canon. zuko was nervous. it's his first teenaged date, so ofc he would be a bit awkward about it. not to mention that he is a decent enough person to not want to complicate a girl's feelings for him because she doesn't know the real him. he even says in the tale of the earth kingdom novelization that he likes this girl. and he says in canon that he had a nice time. that's not to say that people can't head canon what they want, but to say things like "there's no het explanation for this." there's literally several, actually.

another thing that i've seen is zookas use the "zuko gay" in response to zutaras, but then they'll also simultaneously ship m*iko. and it's just so obviously a bias/convenience thing because if you hc him as gay (which is fine), why would you like a ship of him with a woman??? just say you hate zutara and go.

back to toph, because i've been meaning to speak on this for a while. so toph is my favorite character and i head canon her as nonbinary and pansexual. it is actually partially through my appreciation of toph's character that i realized that i was nonbinary. so when certain people gatekeep and confine her to one identity because of stereotypical traits and behaviors, i take it very personal.

none of toph's popular F/F ships appeal to me either, but i do see her as LGBTQ+. i have to agree that the way she is masculinized does cause me significant discomfort, especially wrt to people who do so to limit her "desirability" for aang.

i also find that a lot of people will head canon aang as nonbinary or GNC (i do as well). so in the case of toph being lesbian, she could potentially still be attracted to aang. so why then, do people act like it would just be a het relationship? it doesn't make sense. they're both queer as fuck. not to mention that i've had to endure months on twitter with people saying that kateeng is wlw (which gives me the HIVES) because aang is nonbinary. so suddenly, when it's taang, aang's a straight man and/or toph would have to be straight. these people talk themselves into circles i swear. it's just easier to admit that you want aang only for katara than to sit here and come up with flimsy excuses.

i wish people would just admit that they don't think toph is feminine enough for aang. i've seen so many shitty takes about how toph would be abusive to aang and always hurt him, or that they would argue a lot (which is comical because kateeng canonically has 3 big fights.) it's just upsetting how toph is treated and perceived by certain people in the fandom to push their agendas.

for me personally, i see aang and toph as nonbinary pan. so i see their relationship pretty much free of gender roles and they are equals. they already have a good foundation for childhood friends to lovers. i just don't get why people hate taang so much and would instead rather invest time in a ship with a side character from ONE comic (no offense to any tophl*ngs out there, but the ship literally gives me not one fuzzy feeling.) in lieu of her best friend that she spends two seasons with, has multiple interactions with in the comics, etc. i feel like this is mainly because toph isn't perceived as "shippable" and is cast to the side, which sucks because she's my favorite character.

#slight salt #i get really bitter when people hate on taang

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apriceonemotion · 4 years

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Larries Are a Problem: An Essay by a Former Larrie

I spent about seven years of my life believing in theories with vague proofs, not only referring to Larry Stylinson, but plenty of other ships of real life people. Even though I was only a child and young teenager for the majority of that time, that doesn’t excuse that me and plenty of other people, some older than me, were blindly believing and creating different theories about two men that didn’t know we existed. It’s fair to believe in whatever you believe in with the information that we are given in the public and I honestly do not have any hate for anyone in those years that fully believed in those theories that were created, however, there was a line being crossed that even I was blind to notice.

Before you start furiously typing at your keyboard to call me an “anti” or a “het” or even a “solo harrie” and that I’m the problem, read this in its completion. This is coming from someone that was once like you, but grew out of it and realized that things had gone a bit too far.

I think a line needs to be set into place when it comes to shipping real life people. There is a huge difference in believing that two people would look cute together and fetishizing them, analyzing every move they make, and turning every song lyric into a theory. You have to realize that these people have real lives and are real human beings, not characters from a television show that doesn’t exist in our world. The two of them have lives outside of the ones that they show publicly and it’s pretty obvious that they keep a lot of the information about their private lives, well, private. But when you skew that into hiding information from the public because they are being forced, that’s when things get out of hand. I have watched in the years that I had been a fan of this group: larries publicly harassing online (and even offline) the family members and friends of all those involved. Even now, as the Watermelon Sugar video had been released, larries bombarded livestreams of the models in the video asking if Louis had been on set, if Larry was real, and things of that nature. Not only questions, but telling family members and friends of the two horrible things, threatening some, and even making a few of them make their account private or just deleted all together (ahem, Xander). They even make them say “Larry” in livestreams in order to get a sliver of proof, which is a desperate attempt to be honest.

But worst of all is the girlfriends of both of them. I have watched Eleanor Calder grow from the moment she started dating Louis in the way beginning of One Direction being formed, but I have also sadly seen her every move, every facial feature, every body part being picked apart by larries on every platform she’s ever been on. To this day, she will innocently post a selfie of herself and I will see tweets and comments floating around saying that she doesn’t look like herself, she’s ugly, or she just simply doesn’t look good. Or that she’s trying too hard and everything she does is to cover something up, even if there is no proof of something going on. There was even a whole theory about her having a twin because she apparently looked too different in her pictures. The girl that Louis had a baby with, Brianna, is still shamed and made fun of daily, even if she is just simply posting pictures of the child they had together. They have no shame in telling women that they are ugly, that they are doing things for attention, all because they are linked to a man they think is in a secret gay relationship.

The trend of larries bombarding the comments and replies of these girls must have a very bad effect on them. Eleanor Calder especially since she’s been with Louis for about ten years now (on and off but the harassment has definitely been consistent). (Some examples: here, here, here) They have picked apart the way that she smiles (or if she doesn’t), the way that she acts, what she wears, how she talks, and who she hangs out with. Not to mention she got literally jumped once. It’s almost borderline misogynistic the way that larries think that it’s okay to shame and make fun of women just to support their theories. Of course, not all larries, but a majority is too many.

I have been called homophobic by larries online for the past few months whenever I speak up about me disagreeing with what they believe in, but why have they never turned the camera around and looked at themselves? A majority of larries are straight - I didn’t conduct an experiment to figure this out, it’s just that a lot that I see end up being straight - and use them being allies and their gay mutuals that also believe in Larry as their defense of them enjoying a gay ship. They’re just supporting gay people, right? Wrong. Louis has countlessly said that he is straight, no sense of homosexuality in his bones. It’s been argued that he has stereotypical characteristics of a gay man but that is legitimately just stereotyping to think that way.

The only proof that I’ve ever been given is that he sits “like a gay man” or moves his body “like a gay man”, and that in itself is basically homophobic to think that a man doing anything feminine has to be gay. We live in a time that it’s becoming more acceptable to blur the lines of what is feminine and masculine and who can wear what - it doesn’t matter what a person defines themselves as, they can dress and do whatever they want without it being deemed feminine or masculine. So, when the only reasoning for placing a straight man as gay is the way that he walks, talks, and acts is forcing a sexuality just because of the stereotype that gay men are more feminine in those ways.

There is no way that me not believing in two people being together is homophobic. Just because I say “Larry isn’t real”, that doesn’t mean I hate gay men? I don’t understand the logic.

Let’s discuss the Watermelon Sugar video. This is the main thing that got me into making this post (and entire blog). The video is very sex positive - the themes of the 60s and 70s being implemented are very symbolic as that was a time of embracing sexuality. Harry’s video was very colorful, showed women in a non-fetishizing way, and was a huge thing for a lot of sapphics that watched the video. But, it was also a very attractive video, and people are allowed to believe that Harry is an attractive person and want to be with him (even if we know that it won’t happen). And because of that, a large amount of larries got angry that people even dared to thirst over Harry on Twitter. Not enjoying ‘thirst tweets’ is fine in retrospect, but many, and I mean many, larries were wishing death on anyone that did them, even calling them ‘sick in the head’, which can be incredibly offensive to people with any mental problems. They filled people’s replies with angry tweets, throwing TPWK at the end of them (as if that helps), and trying to make them feel disgusting for tweeting what they did.

A tweet came out after the announcement video released joking about how even his walk is hot, and larries came in heavy accusing the OP of sexualizing everything he does.

These incidents don’t stop at just the video being released, it’s been going on for years. Think pieces saying “Harry has always been deemed as a womanizer his entire time of being in the spotlight, so don’t sexualize him every chance you get” come out whenever someone makes a joke about how sexy he is. They bring out the quote from Harry saying he doesn’t like being called a ‘sex symbol’ and use that against anyone that makes these ‘thirst tweets’ about him, claiming that he wouldn’t want to come back to social media because of people that do that.

There is an entire series on Buzzfeed where celebrity men read ‘thirst tweets’ and laugh about the ones that are descriptive and strange. Every celebrity gets tweets about them being attractive and/or sexy, it’s a very normal thing for this to happen since no one expects the celebrity to ever see it. It’s basically word vomit that they post in no hopes for the person to see.

Let’s turn the camera back to you guys now. The smutty fics, fan-art, and tweets about what you wish Larry would do together. Those are okay? It’s a double standard. Save the energy that is put on attacking harries for ‘thirst tweeting’ if you aren’t going to feel the same way when larries do the same thing. It’s even stranger when you go back to how I’ve said a lot of larries are straight. Finding it hot when gay men kiss and have sex when you’re a straight woman is fetishizing the idea of gay men and what they do in their personal and private sex lives. If you believe that men shouldn’t fetishize lesbians’ sex lives, then why do that to two men?

When larries stop harassing other fans, family members and friends of both of them, and sending death threats to anyone that gives them a differing opinion, I’ll stop believing that they are one of the worst people on social media platforms. Harry and Louis could do anything, and there will be theories, comments, and arguments. Have you ever wondered why none of them even play with any of your ideas anymore? It has been ten years. Something should’ve happened by now, don’t you think?

Their family members and friends shouldn’t be so sick of all of this that they get upset about it on lives, that they turn off their comments, that they don’t always feel comfortable being online.

Again, I used to be one of them (I sincerely apologize), but I do not see how any of this behavior is okay. It’s been plaguing Twitter and Instagram for years now and I just want this to be a smack in the face that it isn’t okay to be this way.

#larry stylinson #Larry #larrystylinson #Louis tomlinson #harry styles #harrystyles #watermelon sugar

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pegsephone · 5 years

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i know im just a dumb bislut or whatever but like. maybe we should try to have a lil more sympathy for these girls who kiss their friends/get intimate with their female friends but still maintain that they don’t think they’ll ever be romantically involved with another woman

like i understand the instinct to react with anger and frustration as your sexuality is treated as trivial or as a behavior rather than an identity. esp because some people really do try and profit off our sexualities while not understanding our experiences with homophobia but like.

we can all acknowledge that romantic relationships between women aren’t really shown. they aren’t legitimized or normalized. sexual relationships between women are (in a specific aspect.) Women have been told they can be intimate with other women as long as men enjoy it/benefit from it. but even with that, do you really think this many women are willing to be intimate with other women without feeling any attraction?

why are so many young women seeking out sexual relationships with other women? how many of these women do experience romantic attraction to other women but don’t recognize these feelings because they aren’t told they’re allowed to?

Obviously this doesn’t extend to those who bi-fake and then react with homophobia when faced with actual lgbt people but like. Idk maybe we can have a little more nuance when we talk about these things.

Esp because a lot of the argument ends up being “oh they’ve never had a relationship with the same gender so how can they be lgb?” But. There are lesbians who have only been with men. Gay men who have only been with women. Bisexuals who have no experience with anyone whatsoever. Sexual history does not equal sexual orientation and forcing people to “prove” their queerness is always going to be wrong.

Plus how is arguing “oh they say they like women but they’re with a man and have a limited history with women so they’re just straight and don’t like labels uwu they don’t understand the real elgeebeetee experience” any different than arguing bisexuals in relationships with other genders are het-aligned and straight privileged and lgbt-adjacent at best?

#lmao yall r not gonna like this one #biphobia #bisexuality #feels like i could just add a ‘tldr: have more nuance’ at the end of all my posts thatll essentially get the same point across lmao #lesbophobia #ask to tag #q slur

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ayanak-archive · 7 years

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I went through your dave tag and man, there were at least 2 people who still deny davekat being canon, and what a strange phenomenon. When fandom is big and popular male characters (bi dave, trans/not straight lars/steven, pan rick, doctor who, any ow guy, some popular anime/tv show dude, voltron dudes, etc) have possibility of not being straight/cis male fans start getting mad but don't have the same problems with female characters.

I’m not sure what in my Dave tag this is referring to, but yeah, there’s some deal of deniability with such things from cishet fans. Quick summary of the mountains I write next: female characters often face the same things; same-sex couples are held to much higher standards to be accepted; trans canons are almost non-existent, unfortunately; and headcanons sadly Aren’t canon, though people don’t seem to care when such headcanons are straight/cis.

Now with Davekat, we have something which has been confirmed by the creator as fact, so most of what I’ve seen in terms of deniability has been less people not believing that it’s true and more.. complaining that Hussie went that route, as if he caved to peer pressure and slapped on a gay ending to Dave’s arc instead of more realistically writing Dave as a character whose arc concluded with him moving past compulsory heterosexuality and accepting that he likes men. I think there could’ve been more build-up, but honestly anyone who complained was going to complain anyway, and it was a nice direction to take his character imo. I’ve seen the “it came out of nowhere” argument with many characters (girls too).

Pan Rick/pan deadpool/other canon but more Word-of-God reveals than clear in-canon relationships type reveals fall into the same bucket as Davekat (idk if Rick is clearly with men or not, I don’t watch that show), where same-sex relationships are held to much higher standards to be considered canon, but also it would have been nice if the creators did show us more.

Lars/Steven/OW men/Voltron dudes etc fall into a different bucket where they’re not really canon, they could be left open to interpretation, and they might not be intended to be interpreted that way at all. It sucks that straight/cis characters feel confirmed with no effort, whereas clear clues for lgbt characters “don’t count” unless we have something more substantial. People who don’t want it to be canon spout all day that there is no definitive proof (whereas their side doesn’t have proof either). I have shipped Korrasami since season 1 and I NEVER thought it was gonna be canon. I saw the relationship forming, I thought it was nice that they were at least throwing us a close friendship bone, but I thought they wouldn’t follow through bc at the end of the day, characters aren’t real and no matter how good together Korra and Asami were, without clearer confirmation from the creators, it couldn’t be considered canon (but then it was!!).

Also, you said female characters don’t get the same treatment but I vehemently disagree. Femslash shippers get hit over the head with “they’re just friends” A LOT. Korra and Asami got it until Bryke confirmed it as explicitly as they could, Tracer and Emily got it despite kissing each other just straight on the mouth, supergirl fans got teased for their ship by one of the actors, even though they’re just having fun with it… my favorite book character is an adult woman who shows no interest in men ever, but when asked by a fan if she is possibly bi or gay, the author responded with “no and I won’t tell her you said that”. :(

When female characters ARE clearly into women- and I say this not to imply bi representation is bad or unnecessary- many people argue that well at least she’s bi, right? bc they still want to ship her with men… Korra and Asami? Absolutely bi, I would never argue that. Pearl, from Steven Universe? Definitely a lesbian, but because she’s never said the world lesbian out loud, people insist she’s bi so they can ship her with Dewey… I saw a discussion about Tracer which was “they said she identifies as a lesbian, which means she could be wrong about it and actually bi” (???). Again, confirmed bi characters are GREAT, but also I want to note that lesbian characters are accepted even less than bi ones tend to be, unfortunately…

Broadly, in my experience, straight men don’t want guys to be anything but straight and want girls to be straight or bi. Straight women either love shipping men together and could care less about women, or want het ships and don’t want either to be anything but straight. Trans issues are a whole nother bucket, where canon representation RARELY exists and cis people get so threatened by mere trans headcanons… this is broad, of course, but I see a lot of it.

Sorry for rambling, but this is my extensive answer on the subject.

#homophobia //#transphobia //#answered #anon

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