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friendship-ditch · 3 months

Text

Capitol

(Katniss Everdeen x Fem Reader) ❀

Summary: Katniss can’t help but be jealous when her ex-girlfriend from the Capitol finds somebody new.

Warnings/Note: Little bit of angst, internalized homophobia, language and bad relationships, the usual—I rushed this request on accident but it’s alright enough

Word Count: 3439

“What about dinner at the… what’s it called--the Hob! I always hear you and Prim talk about that place, they sell food there, don’t they?”

You chimed in, stepping into the dim living room.

Katniss lifted her head towards your direction. “I don’t really think that’s what you would want to wear to the Hob.” She said flatly, turning her nose. “You’d stick out like a sore thumb. I can’t protect you there.”

You looked down at your outfit and frowned. It wasn’t particularly flashy, and neither was your makeup. In fact you could’ve almost been mistaken as a true District 12 resident if you maybe ditched the tall boots and colorful jacket.

When you received the news that you could head to District 12 a week earlier to hang out with Katniss before the Victory Tour truly began, you weren’t expecting it at all, but you couldn’t have been happier. You threw together a mess of clothes and snuck on the soonest train.

But now that you were here, you were beginning to wonder if Katniss didn’t share that same excitement as you. This obviously wasn’t the same girl you’d hung out with before the 74th games. She’d changed in that arena. But you were still determined to love her.

She often chose activities that kept you in the house, got upset when you didn’t understand things on the first try, refused to take you into the woods, and really didn’t want to take you into some more populated areas.

“I can change.” You tried to reason with her, sliding the jacket off and revealing the colorful tattoos that climbed both of your arms. “Or I could borrow some of your clothes. I can blend in, honest.”

Katniss hesitated. She climbed off the couch and went over to you, setting your jacket aside and sliding one of her old ones over your shoulders.

“Fine.” Her voice was still flat, if not annoyed. “I’ll take you to the Hob. We’ll grab dinner, and then we’ll come straight back here.”

“Deal!” You beamed, reaching for her hand.

She pushed your hand away and flashed you a somewhat apologetic look a few seconds after the initial shock had passed. “Don’t act close to me there. People don’t act like that in the Hob.” She warned.

You nodded in agreement. Of course, things in District 12 weren’t anything like the Capitol, but some of the things she said still confused you. Like the other day when Prim wanted to take the two of you to the bakery to celebrate your arrival but Katniss acted as if she didn’t know you when you walked in.

Together, the two of you went to the Hob. It was unlike anything you’d ever seen. It was dark, grim, bustling, loud, and utterly fascinating.

Katniss showed you around, though she continued to pretend not to know you well. She never really met your eyes or your touch. You assumed maybe she just shut down when going into busy places like this and you tried to mimic her the best you could.

You grabbed some food and then came back to the house. You saw Peeta on the way back and waved but Katniss hurried you inside.

Dinner was nice. Katniss spoke to you more but she still wasn’t quite… for lack of a better description: happy to see you?

You didn’t push it though. That was something you learned about Katniss. There was no pushing her to do or feel anything. That girl was stubborn as a mule, and you had to respect it.

By the time the actual Victory Tour rolled around, you found that Katniss was growing even further from you. You figured that maybe she was just anxious about the tour so you gave her as much space as you could.

When the party at Snow’s mansion finally rolled around, you knew something was wrong.

Katniss hadn’t even spoken a word to you since the speech in District 1, hell, she didn’t even look your way.

You were hoping that maybe she’d talk to you at the dance, because it was really starting to hurt. Every night you tried to leave a little gift at the door but when you came to place a new one, the old one was still there.

Of course, Katniss and Peeta as the Victors had to walk in together. You watched from off to the side and cheered until your voice broke. Katniss flashed you an awkward smile and continued forward, arm linked with Peeta’s.

It took a little while to locate her later but you soon found her standing off to the side of the dance floor. You let out a sigh of relief and snuck up behind her, sliding your arm around her waist.

“Will the prettiest lady of the ball dance with me?” You asked in a teasing, warm voice. Katniss stiffened in your grip so you let go. “If she wants to, that is.”

With a fake smile, Katniss shook her head, looking away. “I don’t feel like dancing.”

“Oh, okay.” You shrugged it off. “We could get some chocolate together. Or go inside, there are some less crowded rooms.” You gently tried to clasp your hand around her arm but she pulled away. On your second attempt, she pushed your hand down and turned to face you.

“Y/n. I don’t think I’m ready for this.” She said boldly, taking a step back. “Us, I mean. I’m not good at this. I’m not ready for a relationship with y… I’m just not–you’re not…” Katniss’s rambling trailed off as she realized she wasn’t doing either of you any favors.

You felt your heart sink in your chest.

“What…?”

“I just… I don’t think things are going to work out. I’m sorry.” Katniss shook her head. If she said any more, she’d regret it. She already said more than she meant and the hurt was clear on your face.

You felt the tears stinging your eyes and took a step backwards. Her beautiful figure soon became blurry and without another word, you turned and left.

That was the last time you’d seen Katniss.

Now… you were in a world you’d once thought had been eradicated to nothing but rubble. You were wrong. District 13 was alive and well, and so were you. Having been labeled a war criminal to the Capitol, Plutarch made sure to pluck you from the midst before torture ensued.

It was a huge contrast to how your old life was. You had a schedule, you had work, and you had to get up early. Your clothes were the same as everybody else's, just as your food and basically everything else.

By some miracle, you learned from those around you and managed to fit in just fine. Sometimes you screwed up, but there was always somebody there to catch you, one person in particular.

You’d met Cressida one night when you arrived to dinner late and your usual seat was taken. She let you sit with her and her friends who you soon learned were her camera crew. They’d all left the Capitol just as you had. You felt accepted with them.

Cressida was a lot different than Katniss. She was much more eager to do things with you, she wasn’t scared of being seen with you, and she loved the thrill of either of you sneaking into the other's room for the night. You two weren’t exactly ‘girlfriends,’ but most knew you two were seeing each other. That was another thing about her, she didn’t want to hide what you two had.

Although Cressida was… amazing, at just about everything, and she understood your struggles in a way most others didn’t, you found it hard to picture a future with her past occasional nights together and secret little flings. She was funny and kind and bold, but she was lacking something. You couldn’t figure out what it was, but the walls of your relationship were more like bridges.

The best thing about Cressida though, was that you forgot about Katniss. You forgot those little glares she slipped only in your direction when you were too loud in public, how she would pull out of your touch the second somebody glanced your direction, how she would never spend the night with you, even just for the sole purpose of cuddling… A part of you still longed for her, but for the moment, you thought you’d maybe found somebody better.

When you finally saw Katniss again, she had just been rescued from the 75th arena and was on some heavy sedation drugs. The two of you made eye contact once and she was whisked away to the hospital. You didn’t see her for a while after that until one night at dinner.

You were in line, grabbing food when Katniss slammed directly into you.

“Shit!” You exclaimed, jumping back a little and just managing to save the watery food on your tray.

It took a few moments for Katniss to finally respond. It was as if she was in a trance.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled quietly. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

You slowly nodded. “It’s fine.” You said as you turned to leave, but she started to speak again.

“It’s… nice to see you again, Y/n.”

“It is?” You were surprised. As far as you were concerned, Katniss never wanted anything to do with you ever again. You were embarrassing to her and she was ashamed to be seen with a person from the Capitol, even if you weren’t the stereotypical one.

Katniss nodded solemnly. When her eyes finally met yours, you could see the glazed pain in them. She’d been through so much, and even though she hurt you, you couldn’t help but feel bad for her.

“You’re one of the only people here I know.” She replied softly. “It’s just.. nice to see your face again.”

So that was it. She wasn’t really glad to see you, she was just glad to be around somebody familiar. You knew you were putting her on an unfair pedestal and that she was just a fragile girl but it still hurt.

“It’s nice to see you again too.” You halfheartedly replied, forcing an awkward smile.

When your words were replaced by a heavy silence, you took the relief of murmuring a soft farewell and quickly walking to your table.

“Are you okay?” Cressida asked when you sat beside her. She’d been watching the whole thing and knew of your and Katniss’ rocky history. Now that the two were working together to film propaganda videos, she’d promised not to leak your little secret relationship out to the public as much, but she was still worried about you.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” You took a bite of your food, watching as Katniss went over to sit by Gale. “Perfectly fine.”

Cressida nudged you gently and started talking about whatever subject just to take your mind off things. It helped a lot and soon you’d completely forgotten about your interaction with Katniss.

Well, until the next day.

You and Cressida had spent the night together in her room. The plan was as usual, you’d wake up just before curfew ended and sneak out before the halls started to fill. It had been foolproof every time, until now.

Cressida walked you to the door and was giving you a quick kiss as your hand found the handle. When you pulled away from her with a soft goodbye and stumbled into the hallway, you ran into the person you were least expecting.

Katniss was standing a few feet away from you, eyebrows cocked high and eyes wide. It was clear she hadn’t slept at all and had just been wandering around. She stared at you, then to the door where Cressida was standing behind you, and then back to you.

You quickly waved goodbye to Cressida and shut the door, hoping to just pretend nothing happened but Katniss grabbed your arm before you could scurry away.

“So you’re sleeping with my camera crew now?” She asked bitterly, snapped out of her numb state and now full of nothing but jealousy.

Her reaction surprised you at first, then it angered you. Katniss had nothing to be jealous over. She was the one that dumped you, not the other way around.

“Why do you care?” You asked, pulling out of her grip. You started to walk away. “It’s none of your business.”

Katniss’s gaze hardened. “Yes it is!” She exclaimed, well aware she was fighting a losing game but damn it she would hold on with her claws until there was nothing left beneath her to grip. “It’s very much so my business!”

“No! It’s not!” You shouted at her. She kept following you so you whirled around once the two of you were in a more private space. “You’re the one that broke up with me. We aren’t dating anymore. My business is nothing of your concern.” You snapped. “Why do you care anyway? She’s Capitol, just like me. And you don’t like us Capitol people.”

Teary gray eyes stared back at you, bitten lips quivering. Katniss tried to muster some response. She took too long so you continued.

“You think everything revolves around you! I don’t care if you’re jealous, it doesn’t matter to me anymore.” You glared at her this time. “Just leave me alone.”

You didn’t realize how harsh your words were until you snapped out of your anger and saw that Katniss was deep in tears now.

“You don’t understand!” She screamed at you, voice cracking. Before you could say anything else she had already turned heel and was hurrying in the other direction.

You felt awful and knew you’d gone too far, but you were still really upset with her over what happened and it wasn’t fair of her to be jealous and take it out on you.

Instead of returning to your room, you went back to Cressida’s where she took you in with warm arms and not a single care about what other people would think.

You tried your best to forget about Katniss after that, you really did, but thoughts kept creeping into your mind that you couldn’t push away. You were hurt and guilty and all around confused. You wanted to make it up to Katniss but you also never wanted to see her face again.

Cressida tried her best to help you, even sometimes kissing you whenever Katniss walked by to help you feel a little better but even her affection couldn’t fill that hole in your heart. The feeling kept eating at you until you couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“Are we… Are we a permanent thing?” You asked, sitting up in bed as Cressida came back from the bathroom. “Because… Cres, I think that you’re a really cool person. You’re amazing, in every way and I care about you so much. But… I don’t know, I sound awful but.. I can’t really envision us as anything more than…”

“A little fling?” She filled in gently as if she knew what you were going to say.

You nodded, looking away in shame. “I’m sorry.”

Her hand rested on your shoulder and she shook her head. “Don’t be.” She murmured. “You’re still in love with Katniss, I know that. Why do you think I never really offered for us to be anything more than an occasional thing?”

“But…” You frowned, searching her face for any sign of hurt, but there was none. “You’re sure?”

Cressida smiled. “Of course I’m sure.” She took your hands into hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Now, go talk to her. If things don’t work out, then you’re more than welcome to spend the night here. And… if they do work out, I want you to tell me every single detail.”

You felt a wide smile spread across your lips and gave her a tight hug.

Katniss wasn’t an easy girl to locate. After asking just about everyone you knew she had contact with, and finally swaying Haymitch to give you a hint, you found her when she came back from hunting with Gale. She returned empty handed and stopped near the entrance when she saw you.

Gale left quickly and you guided Katniss into a more private hallway. She eyed you with hesitation.

“I think we both need to talk.” You said in a low voice as if trying to calm a wild animal. “Just talking, actually expressing our feelings and problems. No running and no shouting.”

“Fine.” Katniss agreed reluctantly. She took a seat on a bench and looked you up and down, waiting for you to start.

You let out a heavy sigh and took a seat as well.

“I’m sorry for what I said the other day.” You began gently. “I was just… I was just still hurt by what happened before and I said things I didn’t mean.”

Katniss’s gaze hardened, then softened.

“Tell me the truth. Why did you break up with me?” You finally asked. “Is it because you were ashamed to be with somebody from the Capitol?”

There was a heavy silence, followed by an uneasy sigh.

Katniss met your eyes, one leg shaking. “Not… not completely.” She finally admitted. “I wasn’t in a good headspace to be in a relationship… you knew that, way before I did. I just couldn’t think straight and I blamed it on you. At first I thought I was ashamed to be seen with somebody from the Capitol because.. well, it just seemed wrong. But it wasn’t your fancy outfits, personality, or where you came from that I was ashamed of.”

“Then what was it?” This was confusing you. If it wasn’t the place you came from that embarrassed her, then what could it be?

“It’s that… you’re a girl. I’ve never… I’ve never dated anybody before, much less publicly.” Katniss’s voice caught in her throat. “I’ve also never.. well, you know, come out. And it’s not like District 12 is against that or anything but I just… it scared me.” She whispered, voice cracking as tears started to sting her eyes. “I didn’t realize it until I lost you. I was just so ashamed of myself that I placed the blame on you instead of dealing with it. I’m sorry.”

Without even realizing, you reached over and placed your hand on top of hers.

“Katniss.. I’m sorry. I should’ve tried to talk it through with you or something… I get it.” You murmured softly. “I’m sorry I assumed the worst.”

“Don’t be. I’m sorry I was so awful to you.”

You smiled weakly and squeezed her hand. “It’s okay. It’s in the past.” You assured her gently, reaching to wipe a few tears off her face.

Katniss smiled too, but it didn’t really reach her eyes. Something was still bothering her. When you gave her that questioning look, she sighed.

“So… you’re with Cressida now? Does she make you happy?”

“She does, but–.”

Katniss stood up, wiping her face. She didn’t want to have a jealous meltdown right here but the green look was evident in her eyes. She pushed past it as best as she could. “Good, good. That’s good.” She forced a trembling smile that broke within seconds. “Thanks for… talking with me. I uh.. I’ll just go now.” The last thing she wanted was to make you feel bad after things just got solved.

“Wait, Katniss.” You gently clasped your hand around her wrist. “Cressida and I… We’re just kind of a fling. It’s nothing serious. We’re not actually dating.”

Katniss stopped and looked back at you. For the first time in a while, there was this new hope in her eyes. “Really?”

You nodded with a gentle smile. “Really.”

Katniss’s expression softened. A few hot tears dribbled down her face and that jealous look in her eyes vanished within seconds. She couldn’t believe it.

“But I hurt you and–.”

“And nothing.” You stood up, facing her. “I tried Katniss, I really tried to get over you but you’re just stuck in my head and it’s killing me.” You took her hands gently. “Just… please, know you can open up to me and talk to me. We have to cooperate for this to work.”

“I promise.” She said hoarsely, her voice breaking. There was a real smile on her face this time, one you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. “I promise…”

You smiled too. With one gentle look, you read her plead and closed the space between you two once more.

#katniss everdeen x reader #the hunger games #catching fire #katniss everdeen #katniss everdeen x fem!reader #katniss everdeen x you #the mockingjay #x reader #cressida thg #guys it’s so hard to be mean to Katniss I can’t even #this is stupidly rushed but it works #also I used both a gif and photos for my header it’s revolutionary #got through 2 requests with this one lol #Cressida x reader

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