#this all happened bc i saw an anti on my dash and i went on their blog and fucking died

[knivesrey]

hey so why are antis Like That sometimes....

#im just so????? #like??? #sometimes i just????????? die????? #this is lowkey about bunn/yri/bbit btw #like???????? #i just??????? #shes an adult and a literal war hero #also and other ship with d/va tbh #i just???? #it makes me angry when people get fuckin irrational about shit #this although i dont ship it this also applies to mcr/eyes #bc fuck that like damn they're fucking adults man #like if they were like 13 it'd be different because then it gets p fucking iffy but just like #idk #i have so many thoughts about this #and im not about to turn this into a discourse blog #uh if u wanna know tho feel free to pm me #or like if u think im problematic now feel free to block me and then add me to your blocklist lmao #this all happened bc i saw an anti on my dash and i went on their blog and fucking died #i also hate how they lowkey overreact towards everything #dont...tell people.. to kill themselves... over a fucking ship #over a pair of fictional characters #i also hate how they just hate morally grey characters #like we get it ur a pure uwu bean but shut the fuck up about them being totally evil and how u shouldn't have ships with them #i dont mean like obviously evil and bad characters #i mean like... lo/tor #and like vris/ka #like u can hate the character but like dont hate people who like the character #thats.. stupid #its just a fucking fictional character u dumb fucks

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

[thecorteztwins]

Rando Munday OOC Things

- The LARP was so fun this weekend! I always have a good time but this time was EXTRA GOOD!! - Chatzy used to be a HUGE part of my Tumblr RP experience, I did hours like every night? And now when I see a link for a chatzy on my dash I’m like...too pooped. Ditto for the Discord RP that I’m in, I can generally just do one thing a week there. I think it’s because I’m working more hours now than I was then, and get up earlier, but I miss it. - I’ve started watching Aggressive Retsuko on Netflix, I really enjoy it! Cute and relatable (even if my office is nowhere CLOSE to that bad! it’s really great actually!) Director Gori is my favorite, I love her so much!!

- I went to a women’s college. New students got assigned an older “sister” to show them the ropes and stuff. Mine was more of an older “sibling” because they were identifying as nb at the time. He ended up transitioning fully to male, getting on T, taking a male name, etc. My dad, an old conservative Southern guy, met him both before and after the transitioning. He was super cool both times, and he used the right name/pronouns, not just to his face but even now when he asks me how Neil (the guy’s name) is doing now, and if we’re still talking. For whatever reason, he’s very invested in our friendship; I think he was just glad to have someone looking out for his little girl. Anyway I told him that Neil was living in Madison, in Wisconsin, and he was SO HAPPY?! Like he was THRILLED to hear that! He explained to me that he had been worried a bit for Neil because apparently Wisconsin has some pretty conservative areas, but Madison is like this hip liberal alternative college town, and that it’s “perfect” for Neil. My dad is adorable, is what I’m trying to say. - I believe our shrew is a southern short-tailed shrew. Most shrews can't stand each other but this breed can be social and share burrows! SO WE COULD HAVE LOTS OF SHREWS also we think it was a mom bc it was hauling a grub instead of eating it on the spot. I have half a mind to buy some mealworms next time I'm at the pet shop and scatter them in the yard for the shrew(s) - Tumblr reminded me of how Hagrid made Harry a scrapbook of his parents and brought him a birthday cake and is the one who got him Hedwig and I AM SO UPSET hagrid is so wonderful and unappreciated - Why does everyone think Hufflepuffs are all nice floofballs? Being loyal and hardworking does not automatically beget niceness. The Death Eaters were loyal and hardworking too. Not anti-Hufflepuff here (they’re my fave house!) but just, like, noticing. - “Reality doesn’t come with trigger warnings” Reality doesn’t come with a laugh track either, but our media also includes those? Reality doesn’t come with pause and rewind buttons, but we can do that with our media? And there’s “Viewer Discretion Advised” shit in front of lots of shows? Like this is just the dumbest argument. I’d like to think that even if I were against trigger warnings (which I’m NOT) I would employ better arguments than this. I feel that way about a lot of things---it’s less being agreed/disagreed with that peeves me, and more the stupidity of the argument being used. Even when I agree with the point being made. - And then I saw someone say “Trigger warnings let people avoid topics that make them unhappy” uhhhhhh should I be looking for things that make me unhappy? Should I stop watching shows I enjoy and start watching shows I hate? Should I look for pictures of things I find upsetting instead of cute animals? Should I read books in genres I dislike instead of stuff I’ll enjoy or at least makes for a good hate-read? What the fuck kind of argument is this? If people are seeking out things that make them unhappy, that seems a LOT more uhealthy than avoiding it, what the fuck.  - So apparently there’s a new member of the Avengers but it turns out she was with them all along, she was a founding member of the team but then something happened that made everyone forget her but she was TOTALLY present in all the old issues, and we’re going to draw a bunch of scenes from those old issues but with her in it doing/saying cool things and have all the Avengers remember her now and talk about how great she is! Holy shit this is...are you kidding? Please tell me she turns out to be a bad guy and this is all fake OH IT IS thank goodness. Actually I really love this. I would have hated it if she was for real, but this turning out to be a villain plot makes me like it (because I hate the genuine “retconned into being a pre-existing part of the team” when it’s played straight) - I don’t think it’s cool to speculate on other peoples sexualities, even if they’re in the public eye, but if you’re going to try to guess which female celebrities are gay...look for who a lot of lesbians crush on. This is just a general pattern in my experience, not a universal fact, but I notice queer women seem to find other queer women most attractive. Maybe it’s the overall preference for “butch” traits that I find is common among gay and bi women, maybe it’s just my own imagination/confirmation bias, but I swear we can fucking sense it. - Things I hate: When someone includes stuff like “so hate me if you want” or “so you can tear me apart now” or “so now you clearly think I’m an awful person” in their argument. This does not incline me to take your argument more seriously, nor in any way be sympathetic with you. In fact, it fills me with fucking ire, and I have no doubt other people feel the same. 

#munday #mun monday

[lilacponds]

okay i finished before the storm tonight so ill post a buncha spoiler thoughts

k like, eliot was super sketchy since the start? i gave him a chance and agreed to the play when i met him first but even then i was suspicious, he just had this aura of being off....... like, chloe went thru a lot of shit, but dealing w eliot was one of the scariest no doubt, and thats sayin some shit

if someone in the game tag compares warren to him tho ill probably bite someones head off tbh, eliot is what antis accused warren to be while warren was just generally wholesome

i really liked the backtalking, i was nervous at first choosing those options bc i thought theyd be "generally rude and piss-off-ish conversation" while it wasnt always necessarily that. i liked that!

i like being able to play dnd tbh. bc dnd rules my life now. i liked being able to see different sides to different people.

i didnt like that you had to choose the romance option in ep 1 or no romance for the rest of the game (i think? i mightve just not done the right choices) because i wasnt feeling the whole "more than friends" when they knew each other for so little i was unsure whether they were already friends or not? i didnt like chloes vulnerability at rachel leaving after she got angry - or rather, i liked it as a character thing and plot thing, but its not something i liked on a more personal level bc i didnt like rachel "getting smashy when angry" - any of those moments made me reel back. i got to know and warmed up to rachel, but even while knowing the context of their relationship in the first game i couldnt throw chloe in a possible relationship like that, i just couldnt. ill be replaying for collectibles and for romance. i saw some talk on my dash of how u cant let them be gay but also get rachel to meet her mom n ppl were pissed too and that was weird to me bc i just needed to look it up for 0.5 secs to find out that u dont have to have the bracelet u just need to choose the right dialogue choice w sera and let rachel know the truth abt his dad and im like, shit this aint as queerbaiting as they said it was! (altho we all know what happens first game and im still pissed abt that. i like that steph is canonically gay and its never a big deal either, like its in chloes diary and steph talks abt pulling a move on rachel if shes single and its nice. i like steph a lot

i LOVED the theatre scene. i just went on yt to rewatch the improv part over and over again. it just kills me?? its So Good, and the voice acting is ON POINT, i love it. and it was just great all around, the talk and all... rachel was talking to chloe directly as well - when she talks about freedom, leaving the 'isle'? she hesitated before saying isle and my bets on she was about to say bay, its an awkward place to pause otherwise. honestly that scene is breathtaking, and the voice acting is goals

one thing i hate is how the choices in this game dont influence the canon of the first game. i aimed for chloe to have a better relationship w her mom and david, but i know the first game canon, and it shits on my prequel efforts canonically. same for rachel - how did she end up in a relationship w frank at all in the first game? she didnt even do drugs in the prequel. and if you play and make the girls date, would that mean they broke up or rachel was cheating or what? thats totally ooc for her tho in that case, unless - you guessed it - nothing in the prequel is canon, not when talking abt the choices anyway, because it would go to clash w the first games canon. and i understand that its not like they could remake the whole first game to be redone taking the prequels choices in consideration, and its unlikely they had anything thats in before the storm when they released the game, but im tired of loose ends and unfitting threads. chloe and frank are basically friends in the prequel but very much not in the base game. the whole rachel thing. david and chloe. it pisses me off so much? and i liked samantha and nathan together - i found it a really nice touch, nathan did unforgivable things in the base game that arent being excused in any way but i do still think he deserved a better treatment, help, therapy - and he wouldnt have gotten himself in that kinda shit if he found help, i believe that, and i like generally the way he looks and feels if hes getting help from samantha. like the dialogue at the hospital, and them sittinf under a tree to read a book together. he looks so peaceful for once and i wish i could keep that forever.

in the end i think that in my consumption of the game and my dabbling in fandom, ill enjoy myself with my own canon - i do love happy everybody lives aus, but theres so much that conflicts normally that its more than a simple everybody lives au

its getting late and i lost my point, but.

this was an amazing game, one that leaves me disappointed when i remember none of my choices really matter in the canon just like the first games, but it still evoked a lot of emotions in me and ill be replaying it again soon already. all in all, im happy to have spent money on it.

(altho it was on sale.)

#stfu Val #Life is Strange BtS spoilers #BtS spoilers #LiS BtS spoilers #Before the Storm spoilers

[shsluckymushroom]

Komaeda trying desperately to surprise kamukura on his birthday to make him crack a smile?

Sure thing - this might be a little slap dash bc it’s 4 am but I tried my best lol.

AU where Kamukura is just an ordinary born kid who ends up at HPA, I suppose.

If there was something everyone in Class 77-B knew, it was plainly and firmly that Kamukura Izuru was not one for social events. He was not one for idle chatter. And he was not one to ever, ever smile.

Another thing that, most of them knew, was that despite this, Komaeda Nagito followed him around and tried to talk to him so often.

Most just decided to let it be - Kamukura and Komaeda were both, really, seen as the strange ones in their class. Why not let them hang out together...it didn’t seem like they were doing any harm, anyway.

And for all his social awkwardness, Kamukura did seem to at least tolerate the white haired boy. Tolerate, if not completely endorse the presence of.

“Kamukura-kun!” Komaeda practically skipped over to the other’s desk as the bell rang in the air. As always, he had an enigmatic smile that no one could read - but most people thought was creepy or unsettling.

“...Yes, Komaeda?”

It was only lunch, so they didn’t have much time to talk. Kamukura never talked much, really. But Komaeda was the only one to continually approach him even after he’d shot him down so fiercely.

Something like that was at least interesting.

He knew the others whispered about how he was strange, and arrogant, and rude. Standoffish and anti-social. That was fine with Kamukura. He’d never been one to want for friends. He didn’t need them. Of course.

“Um...I was just wondering, Kamukura-kun...can you tell me your birthday?”“January 1st.” He said simply and smoothly, not even looking up from his lunch as he took a bite out of it.

“Oh, that’s New Year’s Day! What a lucky birthday, Kamukura-kun.”

“It is just the same as any other day, Komaeda. It isn’t special.”

Komaeda puffed up slightly, sitting down in the currently empty desk in front of Kamukura’s. “For starters, it’s your birthday, Kamukura-kun...that’s definitely cause for celebration.But having it on New Year’s...ah, that’s definitely lucky.”

“I do not see why.”

“...Aha. I guess you wouldn’t…”

Komaeda often asked him questions like this. It wasn’t exactly irritating, but he had to wonder what his purpose was. He could tell Komaeda didn’t want to use him, or exploit him - he seemed to genuinely just enjoy his company for whatever reason.

How odd.

No one else did, so it was something he took notice of. Komaeda, he supposed, was someone he took notice of.

“But I definitely think it’s special to have a birthday on a holiday, Kamukura-kun. But I’ll definitely remember to remember it as your birthday, and not the holiday. Would that make you feel better?”

“...It makes no difference…”

“Aha...I guess it doesn’t…”

Such conversations about various. Meaningless things such as this took place almost every day. Despite Komaeda’s clear lack of confidence, he still came to talk to him.

And he is the only one…

The months rolled by, and while Kamukura didn’t forget about the conversation, he assumed that the other likely would. After all, it’d just been a brief, four minute conversation. Especially as the holidays came by...why would he remember?

And indeed, as his birthday rolled around, as their class went to a festival planned for the occasion, no one mentioned it. Not even Komaeda, who dragged him around to the various booths.

I should not be surprised that he forgot.

Kamukura’s parents were very clinical, very focused on their work. They saw something like a birthday as a distraction for Kamukura - something that tore his attention away from his so important studies. He had never celebrated one. Never thought it was important.

And yet, when he was younger, sometimes on television, or in class, he’d see children celebrating their birthday, or handing out invitations to their parties, and while he never got one, he could observe and tell that it was something very very important to the children.

Thanks simply for being born…

He couldn’t imagine it. He only got thanks or celebrations, briefly, when he did extremely well on tests or was exceptionally diligent. It was extremely rare. So to be given thanks simply for being born...it seemed like such a foreign and unknown concept to him. Praise was not something given. It was something earned, and even then, only rarely and with the top efforts.

I should not have expected…

“Kamukura-kun.” Komaeda smiled up at him after the fireworks were over and the others had gone back to the booths. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“...” For a moment, he didn’t know what to say. He merely blinked down at Komaeda as if he expected him to fluster and say he’d said something wrong, but Komaeda just smiled, somewhat sadly.

“I know you thought I probably didn’t remember. I mean, I didn’t say it all day...but I told you, I wanted to treat today like your birthday. I wanted to do what you wanted to do, and win as many prizes for you as possible.”

...That was why he’d taken him to so many booths? His eyes widened, just slightly. Komaeda was testing his luck here...winning so many games on purpose was sure to trigger his bad luck eventually…

How...careless…

“The truth was, I was little scared...I thought if I did something big or grand, it’d just embarrass you. Kamukura-kun doesn’t seem to think his birthday is very important, even though I think it’s one of the most important days of the year, so I didn’t think you’d ever celebrated it before. I didn’t want to overwhelm you with a huge party, even if I think Kamukura-kun definitely deserves one. But...I still wanted to surprise you. To be honest…”Ah, there was that flustered reaction he’d thought he would have gotten earlier - Komaeda cheeks flushed pink as he toyed with his bottom lip.

“I really wanted to see Kamukura-kun smile on his birthday...because I’ve never seen Kamukura-kun smile, even though it’s been months and months since we started talking, and I’m sure it’s really beautiful…! But I wasn’t sure when the best time to tell you it was for your birthday would be...everyone was always suffocating us, haha, and if they heard...I thought you’d be overwhelmed. I haven’t, um, celebrated my birthday very often, either, and it can be very sudden and overwhelming to have groups of people suddenly celebrating it, right?”

“...It could be.” He finally managed to say. He couldn’t really believe what he was hearing - just by avoiding saying the words, Komaeda had managed to celebrate his birthday without him even noticing, and in such a considerate way…

Komaeda Nagito is so strange.

“Why do you care so much?” Kamukura finally spoke up bluntly, making Komaeda look up in surprise. “I have done nothing for you. I have never used my talent to your benefit. I may be conventionally attractive, but I doubt base lust could have pushed you to do so much when I have been so cold towards you.”

“Kamukura-kun...I don’t think you’re really cold.” Komaeda shook his head, “the others say that, but...I don’t really think it’s true, deep down. Kamukura-kun listens to my words, and lets me speak with him, and answers my questions, and lets me sit with him...um, I think Kamukura-kun is very kind, really. Everyone else looks at me like I’m malicious, and maybe they’re right...but Kamukura-kun is kind to me. That’s why...I wanted to make sure Kamukura-kun...had a good birthday.”

Kind…?

No one had ever called him kind before. It simply wasn’t a thing spoken of Kamukura Izuru. He blinked at the other, as if he doubted what he was hearing.

“...Are you, um, happy, Kamukura-kun? Ah, speaking of it, I didn’t even say happy birthday, did I? Um,” he glanced around, as if checking to make sure no one was there.

“...Happy birthday, Kamukura-kun. And...thank you for being born. I’m very happy I got to meet Kamukura-kun. Even if I’m just a tick, a bug, a worthless insect to Kamukura-kun...I think I’d be a lot more lonely without you around.”

Thank you for being born.

Komaeda was completely and utterly sincere when he said these things. It was such genuine care, that he found himself taken aback.

“...I suppose...I am happy. Somewhat.”

“...Ah…?” Komaeda looked up, then smiled brightly. “That’s wonderful! I’m glad...I could help you have a happy birthday, Kamukura-kun.”

“Hmm.”

Komaeda really had risked a lot for this. Running all those raffles and draws in the games...Kamukura’s backpack back at the entrance was now stuffed with toys Komaeda had given him as gifts. But he’d seen other students doing the same with stuffed animals today, so he’d just assumed...it was a New Year’s tradition…

“...You said...specifically that you wanted to see me smile…? What an odd thing to want.”

“...Aha, yeah, I’m sure it sounds pathetic to you...but one day, I really really want to see Kamukura-kun smile...even if that’s so presumptuous of someone like me…”

Kamukura had been taught that displaying emotion was a sign of weakness and distraction - it kept him from being focused on his studies, but…

“Komaeda.”

“Mmmm?”

He could smile just once, just fleetingly, just in thanks.

“...Thank you, I suppose.”

Komaeda’s reaction was predictable - his eyes went wide, and face bright red, before he buried his face in his hands.

“Um...um...ah...I d-didn’t really think I’d get...to see Kamukura-kun smile...this is so much good luck, ahaha…”

Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that.

“It was just a soft smile.” Kamukura’s expression was back to it’s usual neutral one, as if nothing had even happened. “...Komaeda…”

“Hahahaha…”

He sighed. “...I will walk you back to your house, to make sure nothing happens, if you are that concerned for your luck.”

“Ah…? Ah, okay…” Komaeda finally managed to pull himself together, looking up at him again. “Thank you, Kamukura-kun. See? You really are kind…”

“It is not a bother.”

Komaeda just giggled and followed after him, happy and content despite knowing that bad luck was on the horizon.

My bad luck could never be enough to effect someone brilliant and talented like Kamukura-kun...so long as that’s the case...it’s really fine…

To see Kamukura Izuru smile, though...he really was...amazingly and truly lucky.

#kamukoma #komakamu #my fics #ocd-sugarcube

[nickyhemmick]

Since you weren't able to answer my last ask apparently? My parents and their parents, with a lot of german Jews, went to Palestine before ww2 broke out to survive. We didn't want a war with the Muslim people of Palestine but they saw us taking refuge in Jerusalem as an attack and the fight broke out. When we were divided y'all kept fighting. It isn't genocide. The numbers of born children is growing. Don't pretend it isn't anti semitism

okay wow. lots to address here. i dont wanna say i KNOW things happened, bc i wasnt alive that time, and im guessing u werent either so we cant know what happened exactly abt everything. lets just put that out there ok. 

i cant confirm or deny the thing abt Palestinians fighting Jewish people when they came bc of WWII. what i WILL say, is that i doubt that they were fighting Jewish people bc they came to survive from Hitler. Palestinians started fighting when we were being killed!! oh and, this must be a shock, ik, but stay with me, but not all the Palestinians that were killed were Muslim!!!! there are a LOT of Christian Palestinians as well, and they were killed too.

im not gonna say Jewish people were killing us, bc they werent, im gonna say Israeli’s, bc THEY were. We didn’t see Jewish people as settling in Jerusalem as an attack, as far as my knowledge goes and im gonna believe my family (some of who were alive then and are now) when they tell me what they do. 

& dont give me that “divided” bs bc literally Palestinians are more divided now than ever?? so shut the FUCK up. i cant believe i have to sit here and type this out to defend my people. my people, who have been stolen from and who are DYING AND BEING SLAUGHTERED especially.

also, the whole Palestinians being born thing i cant comment abt bc i dont know enough but again there are Palestinians NOT in Palestine (wow shocker i know) so like consider that great thanks

all my posts abt g*l gad*t, who i will say again i hate with my ENTIRE heart, for all u assholes who love to kiss hers, is NOT bc shes Jewish. NONE of my posts or the ones i reblog say anything abt her being Jewish. i HATE her and feel UNCOMFORTABLE seeing her on my dash bc she was INVOLVED and SUPPORTS the death of MY FUCKING PEOPLE. is that wrong of me?? btw thats a rhetorical question bc i dont care abt what u think and i will continue to hate and spread what she does. 

anyways, idk why u brought Jewish people into this abt g*l gad*t when thats not even the argument!!!!! and please, read up a bit more b4 attacking me k. if u wanna kiss her ass go ahead but im not supporting a demon who wants me and my people dead so fuck u

and also 3 words for ya to educate urself a bit more: the Balfour Declaration.

#im so mad #im not explaining myself anymore to u guys #im so done #dont come back thanks #anti gal #palestine #long post #also ik the posts i have say zionists and thats diff to israelis who want us dead #and i dont use that term when describing those ppl if thats what bothers u sm #anon #tala gets asks

[kindofsharethat]

so last night people were sharing stories of how they became larries and i thought i’d make a big (emphasis on big) ol list of them because i found them really fun to read

I've been a 1D fan since 2013 and my sister and i always thought that l&h looked so good together but only the bromance and we're like "omg larries destroyed their friendship poor eleanor 1!1!1!", then in 2015 the "i'm gay pretty unfortunate isn't eleanor ?" happened and i was like WHAAT???? and i ended up searching more and more about larry (bc it was the only thing that came to my mind) and i found the videos and then i told my sister and then here we are.

I became a larrie because someone in my dash who rarely post about 1D posted the first louis/fred pic and tagged it babygate. So I went looking into the tag and found everything. I had doubt but then i saw the moment where H touch L arm and i was in! I actually became a fan of the music after. I've done everything in reverse with this band! But when i entered the fandom in feb2016 and i was hopping to see it all end like a month later! But hey, still here! And loving it mostly! End it!

it was 2011 and my friend told me she had found a really good song and the singers were so cute, she showed me wmyb video and i spent the whole day listening to it and then in the evening i wanted to find out more about these 5 guys. i started watching video diaries ans i was looking for the next one but i accidentally clicked "best larry moments" video aaand the rest is history

I became a larrie after aimh tweet hits 2m and everyone on all of my social media started freaking out even though I didn't follow any 1D blogs so I started search about them and now I'm here also at that time I was kinda homophobic 'cause I live in russia and grown up in middle eastern family and now I'm proud lesbian who knows a lot about LGBTQ+ history so thank you to my larents and 1D for making me gay lol 🌈💕

i was a fan since 2011 but didnt know about larry bc i was young and didnt have any social media but around 2013-2014 my friend showed me the "are you and louis dating" vid and i was like the mr krabs meme bc i just couldnt understand why larry would have to be covered up so i went home and watched "why elounor is fake" videos and my eyes were open and ever since that day ive been a larrie and i regret not knowing sooner but im here now !!

i saw the daddy daddy cool tweet and was like dude that's the wrong type of daddywtf? & I hadn't heard about a pregnancy? then a week later I had read the treatise and had a side blog and watched all the freddieismyqueen videos & was in way too deeeep lol. I've never been around when they weren't on the break even, I'm so confused about how I got here but now I can't escape 😝I had never even listened to their music before but then I also did that and was like damn they're so good?!

I just remembered going out once and being quite tipsy when DMD video came on so I pointed to Louis and Harry and said 'they're in love, but shh nobody can know' and one of my friends looked at me with a WTF?? expression on her face and said 'but I thought that was common knowledge'. Mind you, she still doesn't even know their names, let alone anything else. That was around the time bg was still a fresh wound and I'll never forget it bc it was so nice to hear it and also my hangover was a bitch.

I got interested in 1D right after their last concert, like right on Halloween. I became a Larrie that very same day too, right after i read Dan Wattpad's infamous "Harry and Louis hate each other". I saw articles floating around saying how they were enemies, reason for Zayn leaving...blah blah. I was sceptical, then i came across the famous OTRA hug, and i was like, no fucking way they hate each other, not with how they are hugging. I then delved into YT and discovered freddieismyqueen. Bless.

I joined july 2014 (2 months after they 've passed my country ouch) and was instantly hooked because this shit is like crack. Today I'm the darkest larrie that exists preaching the word for everyone who'll listen. I can WAIT for their CO because I have a party prepared? I literally have a wine since 2014 in my cellar that I'm only going to open the day they're free, I have nauthical theme stocked for the party. My friends just know that they have to come and that I'll be crying the whole month!!

weirdly enough i became a larry cos of that stupid channel 4 documentary id never heard of larry or gay shipping or whatever before that and i saw that and i was very mr krabs meme and i looked into it saw that it wasn't evil and gross like they were portraying it and never turned back

I joined the fandom in late 2012 and I wasn't a larrie but I wasn't an anti either i just hadn't looked into it but then i remember during the confirmation of bg on gma i felt bad for harry and i didnt really know why and I was surprised by my own reaction. Then with bg going on I started to realise that none of that could be real I did my research and I've been a larrie ever since :)

I joined the fandom in 2012, used to think Elounor was real but just because I never looked into it and I knew some people thought Larry was real at the time so I checked this insta page that debunked Elounor and I have no regrets 💙💚

When I become a 1D fan, in 2012, I liked elounor and I liked Eleanor unfortunately. I was not that into fandom things so I wasn't paying attention to details. But my whole view changed in 2014 when they came to South America for the WWAT and all those rumors in Argentina with the hotel room and Brazil that was an experience and I was like "ok something is happening here between them" and here I am, 4 years later and going strong as a larrie. I'm on the winning team 😌💅🏼

I became a larrie when my friend first introduced me to fanfiction. I read a larry one and was totally amazed by it. After that, I switched between het ones and larry ones, but always came back to larry. After that, I simply became obsessed with the pair, something that made me fall in love with the band and all of them. I watched the dairies and everything, and just saw how clear their infatuation was. Tumblr and a lot of other sites just simply proved the theory even more. No regrets ❤

i became a larrie late novemeber after a month of being in the 1d fandom. i watched freddieismyqueen videos and other proofs for hours everyday (especially over thanksgiving break)

I wasn't even a fan of 1D, but while I was looking for pictures of them to do a collage for a friend, I found one in which Louis and Harry were looking at each other and, damn, I can't explain what I felt, I just knew it. So, I was trying to figure out if I was the only one thinking there was something between this two, and it turned out I wasn't! I discovered tumblr, and I spent 3 days reading post, watching videos and proofs and...here I am, 3 years after, being the larriest larrie

I became a 1d fan when uan tour had just started and like. I watched all the damn youtube videos in about a week and I noticed that in the video diaries on the stairs they were so ~cozy, and they were so Extra™ on stage and hl weren't like that with the other boys. They just emanated the feelings I suppressed: Ultra Gay. And yeah. That's how it Began for me

I became a larrie when I watched the behind the scenes of wmyb and Louis was saying "I've gotta say it" and Harry was all over him and hid his face in Louis' shoulder and said "no!"

Same like that previous anon i hadnt even considered two guys being more than friends bc of where i grew up. But just watching proof videos of them for a while i kind of realized how in love they were. Thats when i started thinking about how different and colorful the world actually is compared to what I've learned from the people i grew up around

I became a larrie when my friend and I would watch their video diaries together, and I would see the way h&l acted with each other. I mentioned it to my friend and she was like yeah, Larry, and she showed me one YouTube video so I spent weeks watching every single one I could find, all these years later and I've come to accept theres no way to crawl out of this 😂

are we sharing larrie stories? my friend became a fan early 2012 (and a larrie) and was adamant on making me on too, and I finally gave in summer 2013. I rmr the day after TCAs that year, niall tried to do a twitcam and idr how but some article got written abt the twitcam that included a link to those 'you just have to pay attention' videos. I marathoned them all, and it was that arm moment that zayn failed to hide that #sealed it. though my friend gave me the skinny on haylor back in 2012~

i was like a super casual fan since their first album. my friend introduced them to me cuz she was crushing on zayn. i just knew their music but not actually them. i became a larrie during weedgate. weird timing, i know. i saw it on the news and got curious about what was going on. saw the video then got to know about the boys individually through past vids. i started from the very start from the xf vid diaries. those two, not subtle AT ALL. and well, the rest was history.

i was in entirely different fandom back in 2014, but one of my follower turns into a liam stan and starts to post about 1d and there was a post about how harry and louis can't touch each other and i thought that was really weird weren't they bandmates?? then i started digging around and stumble into a treatise blog. here i am now hahaha

I got into this fandom because of my best friend. She showed me week 4 diary video... and I was like are those two in a relationship?? I pointed at louis and harry and she said no why? And I was like I don't know they seem cozy together and I pointed out that harry was staring at louis lips... she didn't believe me first but now she is a larrie😂 So basically I got into this fandom knowing larry is real

I became a fan of the boys 4 years ago. I read about Larry and that fans believed they were together so I went on YouTube and saw some videos and read some stories (I think it was here on tumblr??) and I immediately believed they were together. There wasn't a particular moment for me, it was a lot of things. Probably, above all, the way they looked at each other. They never looked at someone else so fondly. And 4 years later I keep saying the same thing 💖

for me, i always thought louis was gay from way back in 2011 but i didn't really think of harry's sexuality cause i wasn't like a stan i was just a casual fan [which is why it confuses me when people say that if larry isn't real, louis is straight and horrible, no...he still gay as hell babe]. anyway i became a larrie cause i used to really follow celeb gossip and when the news dropped, gossip sites/tabloids kept mentioning harry and larries everywhere so i decided to investigate and...here i am