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kirausamaria · 3 years

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A fun payback (Stolitz Fanfic)

Ok, I’m sorry, I had to wrote this! It was some innuendos and curses but it’s not really NSFW. It’s hard to write when you got the horny bird in a fanfic. Anyways, please let me know how did I do, because it’s my first fanfic ever. I plan to draw some stuff for the post too as soon as my studies finish.

This time Stolas had something different in mind for Blitzo.

He wasn’t the type of person to get easily flustered as anyone may expect, but after that “Stolas goes brrrr…” and “poor wardrobe choice” incidents on Instagram, he felt like getting some retaliation for that. Not that it was angry or anything like that, in fact, this was a good chance for him to try something new with his little imp.

“Sooo, you want to be on top this time I suppose”, Blitzo said while staring at Stolas finishing his job, that was tying him from his wrists and legs to the bed. He had done this several times before so Blitzo wasn’t alarmed or anything. The only thing that seemed unusual was the fact that he was tied down in bed still with his underwear on, normally Stolas would have him completely naked at the instant he got his hands on him.

“Well, we’ll see about that my dear. It’ll all depend on how you’ll end up feeling at the end”, Stolas replied with an eager smile.

“Ugh, whatever, let’s just get over with it and do it quickly”, Blitzo answered with an uninterested tone in his voice.

“I’m afraid to tell you, my dear Blitzy, I plan to take my time on this occasion”.

Blitzo just stared at him with a puzzled face. He would never admit it, but it was difficult to see Stolas directly on the face sometimes, his eyes weren’t just deeply red, but reflecting such a warm feeling... a charming feeling, maybe? Stolas's genuine smile when staring at him made him feel something inside, but he would never admit that those feelings were something similar to “love”.

Stolas started caressing Blitzo’s skin as softly as he could, starting from his tied wrists to slowly going down to his chest. Blitzo started to squirm and tried to hold back some moans, it was starting to feel good, but he was too stubborn to let Stolas know that too easily. Stolas then started to caress his torso up and down, focusing on his sides this time, and the pleasant feelings started to change a little. Blitzo squirmed more than at the beginning.

“Unhg, umph...mmm!”

“What’s wrong my Blitzy? Doesn’t this feel good?” Stolas asked while grinning a little.

“Could you just stop fu*king around and go to the next thing?”, Blitzo struggled to say.

“Why should we stop this? Does it feel weird? Am I possibly making you feel... ticklish?”

Then Blitzo suddenly realized what this mischievous bird planned to do to him. That a**hole! He planned to do that to me all along! He thought to himself. It’s now he wouldn’t enjoy being tickled as a show of affection with a partner, but with Stolas...we just didn’t like to show any kind of vulnerability in front of him. He wouldn’t admit he’s ticklish or that he likes to be tickled to Stolas, he would never let this go for sure if he did.

“Come on my little imp, don’t be shy, just show me your real feelings to me and enjoy this experience. It will make you feel so much better”.

“Ah, shut the f*ck up you freaking bird!” Blitzo yelled. He was trying so hard not to build a smile in his face, the tickling feelings were starting to build up.

Stolas chuckled. “You’re such a stubborn creature. I can’t deny it, that is one of the qualities that attracted me about you in the first place, but some honesty wouldn’t hurt, don’t you think?”.

Blitzo couldn’t run away from Stolas, he knew it, but at the same time he didn’t just lose against him, not giving him the satisfaction of doing what he wanted. But when Stolas started to use his claws against his skin, he just broke.

“Pfff! Hehehe! Nohohohoho!” Blitzo

“See? I know you’d go around!”, Stolas said when scratching Blitzo’s upper arms. “Doesn't it feel much better to just laugh and enjoy it?”

“F-f you Stolas!” Blitzo whined. He was unable to stop himself from laughing anymore, and Stolas had started to use rougher tickles against him.

He then felt Stolas’ claws skittering every area of his torso, and also his stomach. Blitzo became really jumpy in that place, and Stolas noticed.

“Oh, that’s why you squirm everytime I kiss you on your stomach”, Stolas said while holding his laugh. “So what about this?”

Blitzo almost squealed when Stolas started kissing and scratching his belly at the same time.

“Nohohohohoho, don’t do that!”

“Why not? It doesn’t feel good? But I’m having so much fun right now”, Stolas replied. Looking at him Blitzo could tell he was saying the truth, but it tickled so bad he didn’t know if he could keep going with this game, not that he hated seeing Stolas enjoying things, though. Also, the way Stolas kissed him wasn’t bad, he actually was a good kisser, but on his stomach his kisses were unbearable.

Stolas then started scratching Blitzo’s underarms and that was also a pretty bad spot. Blitzo couldn’t stop his cackling laugh to come out.

“Ahahahahaha! Don’t! Not there please!”

“Oh, starting begging so soon?”

“I’m not begging you pompous piece of sh*t!”

“Oh, alright, I understand, it was just a reflex, wasn’t it? You’re actually having fun, don’t you?” Stolas cooed.

“I’m nohohohohot!” He screamed, not admitting this was kind of fun.

“Blitzi, you are so cute, you know that?”, Stolas said with the most sincere voice he could make. He softly leaned down to Blitzo’s neck, which he knew was really sensitive, and started kissing and nibbling it while still tickling his underarms.

“No my neeehheehck! At least forgive my neeehehehck! I cahahahan’t….!”

“Blitzo actually loved to be softly kissed in his neck, his feathers also would tickle him and make him melt when Stolas did it, but he would always put a facade of seriousness so he wouldn’t realize that, but Stolas was very clever, he knew Blitzo’s true feelings when having intimacy every full moon with him.

Stolas stopped in order to let Blitzo breathe. Blitzo was still laughing a little while catching up some air. When he was able to talk again, he said:

“Why are you always like this Stolas, doing whatever you want…”

“Uhm? Aren’t our encounters also enjoyable to you?” Stolas asked tilting his head to one side in a question gesture. “Well, to be completely honest with you I’ve always wondered how do you look when you smile, not your everyday smug smile, just a pure, genuine smile...and also how does your laugh sound when you are amused. Every night we meet I have the hope you’ll show that cute smile to me, and when I think I finally got to make you smile, you just look away from me and hide your true feelings”.

Blitzo was looking at him while listening to all that. Stola’s face showed a little sad smile and he felt his heart shrinking a little. Was he feeling moved? That’s impossible, he said to myself, but he felt Stolas didn’t mean any harm when playing with him this way.

But Blitzo is still Blitzo, so…

“Well, it’s not like I can just laugh in front of you that easily, or look at you in the eyes all the time...just, I don’t hate you or anything, do you get it?”

Stolas noticed Blitzo was looking a little flustered.

“So can we keep having fun for a little more then?”, Stolas asked, with the purest smile he could make. Blitzo was hesitating but…

“Well, I, uhm…”. Blitzo was kind of trapped in this game already and he wasn’t against some more tickling for the sake of making Stolas happy and having some fun (this thought would never come out of his mouth though). He stared at him and said: “Well, maybe just this time is ok...I guess”.

There was a big smile on Stolas’ face, he jumped off from the bed and went to his vanity, quickly opened and closed a drawer and came back to where Blitzo was laying. Blitzo was getting both scared and excited at the same time, again trying not to show a nervous anticipating smile.

Stolas showed him a fancy crystal bottle. He slowly opened and started to pour what it was inside on Blitzo’s chest. It was some herb scented oil.

“Oh no, onohohohono!”, Blitzo said while nervously giggling at the thought of what it was about to happen. He felt Stolas’ hand sensually spreading the warm oil in all his upper body, making him squirm again. It already tickled so bad when doing this he couldn’t stop his voice from coming out.

“Please, don’t do it!” Blitzo yelled, but he was unconsciously smiling because of the excitement.

“I’ll just play for a while, I promise”, Stolas’ answered, while digging Blitzo’s ribs.

“NOHHOHOHOHOHOHO! STAHAHAHAHAHAP! Blitzo screamed, arching his back trying to get away from Stolas’ claws, but he was really good tied, so he couldn’t move that much.

“Why, my dear? Doesn’t it feel much better now, to laugh at your heart’s content? You’re getting so much attention tonight, you little greedy imp”.

“THIIIS NOHOHOT THE ATTENTION I NEHEHEED!, Blitzo replied, truly laughing this time, while his tail was wagging, a sign that an imp is relaxed or happy.

“Aww, don’t be shy Blitzi, just stop thinking that much and enjoy it! If you do I will let you do the same to me next time”. He took Blitzo’s tail and started to scratch its tip. Blitzo was going crazy, but he was still able to answer back.

“I PROHOMISE I WIIILL TICKLE YOU TO DEHEHEATH THAHAHAHT DAY FOR SUURE! AHAHAHAH!”

“Can’t wait”, Stolas answered with a singing voice.

“STOP WIHIHITH THE FU*KING SINGING VOICE ALREADY!” Blitzo practically shrieked, while Stolas was now squeezing his hips and sides.

“Why, does that make you more ticklish?”, Stolas crooned. “What if I keep doing it while tickling your weakest spot?”

Blitzo panicked, he knew what it was coming: Stolas grabbed some more oil for his hands and started to slowly run his claws from Blitzo’s hips to his underarms and neck.

“Nohohohohoho, I swear I’ll kill you if you…!”

Stolas started digging Blitzo’s underarms, making him shriek with laughter. His head started to get blank.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!”

“I love your laugh so much, Blitzi”, Stolas now laughing at Blitzo’s strong reactions, “And your tail wiggling with such joy, it just melts my heart”.

Blitzo’s looking so vulnerable and helpless laughing like this while being tied up was actually really cute.

Stolas would alternate the tickling on his neck and underarms, then again nibbling and kissing his neck while scratching his whole body, now ten times more sensitive because of the oil.

“NOHOHHOH, NOHOHO MY NEEECK! I’M GONNA FUC*ING DIE!”

Blitzo started to shed tears from the laughing, his head completely in a daze.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *hic* HAHAHAHAH! *hic*.

When he started whining and weezing instead of laughing Stolas knew it was enough for tonight, so he stopped.

Blitzo was coughing and giggling for a whole minute, completely exhausted.

“You did a good job Blitzi! I really had fun”, Stolas praised Blitzo for his endurance while kissing him on his cheek and forehead.

Blitzo wouldn’t admit it, but he also thought it had been a little fun, until the almost dying feeling part.

“I fuc*ing hate you Stolas”, Blitzo was barely able to say, still with some tears in his eyes.

Stolas was smiling a lot. At least he had his payback.

“You know? We should play like this more often”. Stolas said while untying Blitzo. “It would help you to relieve some stress from work and it’s a fun way of foreplay. Also laughing is good for your…”.

Stolas didn’t realize until looking at Blitzo that he was sound asleep. Blitzo was just exhausted in order to do anything, but peacefully snoring in bed.

Stolas just chuckled, staring at this cute picture for a while before covering him with his sheets and curling up at his side, hugging him.

“Well, I guess we’ll have our little fun until morning”, Stolas thought.

“Really, Blitzy, you have no idea how much I love you”.

Stolas then kissed Blitzo’s shoulder and back of his neck, making him smile a little while still sleeping.

#HelluvaBoss #Stolitz #Blitzo #Stolas #Helluvatickles #ticklingfanfic

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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That’s My Bulma

I saw a meme saying that, because Bulma Briefs, specifically, is a billionaire, that she is the true villain of Dragon Ball. No mention of her Pops or Moms or Tights, just Bulma. The notion that Bulma can use her considerable resources to solve all the struggles before they even start but “chooses not to”, is what makes her a villain. Because of the billions. If I'm not mistaken, by the time we reach Super, the Briefs are the richest family in the world by a WIDE margin. Now, eat the rich or whatever but i will never stand for Bulma slander. Chick is the linchpin of the Z-Universe, the undercover MVP. Aside from, you know, bankrolling a lot of their adventures, she created the Gravity Room in which the Saiyans train, learned Namekian so she could fly a whole ass alien ship, Put up the entirety of the survivors when said Namek got Freezer’d, created the Dragon Radar, and built a whole ass time machine which directly lead to the extermination of Cell. But, wait, are we talking just pure cash? I’m sure there is more, but i know for a fact that she cashed out Seventeen and Eighteen in order to compete in The Tournament of Power and guess who the f*ck won that? Bulma’s cash infusion literally saved several - SEVERAL- universes. But f*ck that, right? Let’s humor this stupid f*cking meme and just go down the list of Z-Fighters and their “struggles.”

Goku, Chi Chi, and Goten

Ox King is an actual king who lives in a castle full of treasure. I’m sure he cashes out for his princess daughter and her princely spawn. Goku is fine living off the land because that’s where Bulma found him. Before the Buu arc, they lived off Goku's tournament prize money which was more that enough to maintain the Son family lifestyle AND send Gohan to a private high school prestigious enough to house Mr. Satan’s daughter. I can guarantee you Videl wasn’t at any regular ass public school. After the Buu arc, they live off Satan's Peacetime Reward money. We actually see Hercule deliver the hundred million Zeni, personally, to Goku in the first episode of Super. The Son family, despite their appearance, is actually very, very, VERY, rich and has been since Goku won that first tourney. Verdict: What Struggle?

Krillin, Marron, Eighteen

Krillin is a pedophile and his child bride extorted Satan for several hundred million Zeni during the Buu arc. She basically proved her strength at the punch-out machine so when Eighteen ended u being the final opponent in that tourney, Satan paid her substantially more than the prize money to throw the fight and maintain his celebrity. At that point, her family is set for life. However, Eighteen then got cashed off a few million more, by Bulma, for entering into the Tournament of Power. They're set for life twice over. Plus, Krillin is a cop. What about before, you ask? Well, Krillin was a whole ass monk before. They swear off world possessions. He lived with Master Roshi, who owns his own island. There was no need for Bulma to intervene at that point. Verdict: How is there a Struggle?

Piccolo

Former God who now lives with current God. He's also a slugman alien who was once confused for the Devil. No need for earthly desires. Verdict: Where is the Struggle?

Tenshinhan and his normal type Chiaotzu

Actual monks that live in the woods or some sh*t. I think Tien re-opened the Crane school by Super? They live that life detached from worlds desires and just train to get big, i guess? I mean, i know Tie trains his shoulders because f*ck! Either way, Tien wouldn’t even ask for Bulma’s loot. That’s not how he lives his life. Chiaotzu just does whatever Tien tells him. Dude is like a white shadow that way. Verdict: Struggle proof.

Punished Yamcha and the virgin Puar

Listen, let’s get this out of the way; Yamcha is trash water. He washed out early in Z, a non-factor during the Saiyan arc. Mans got murdered by a f*cking Saibaman and not even strong one. A f*cking Raditz level Saibaman! Nappa was worth five Raditz!. By the time Cyborg Feezer and King Cold come to earth, he’s retired from martial arts. Dude is a scrub, by Z-Fighter standards. All that said, by regular human standards, the Wolf Fang Fist is a Wolf Fang God. Farmer with a Shotgun has a power level of five. The last time we clocked Yamacha, he was sitting at an estimated around ten thousand in That Time I Got Reincarnated as Yamcha. I’m sure he’s stronger than that later in the main timeline but, as a benchmark, that ten large makes him substantially more powerful than any human which lends itself to being an absolute walking Chip for his professional Baseball team. Yeah, Yamcha is a Batting God and probably signs multi-million dollar contracts to literally hand titles to the franchise who has the highest bid. Man’s jobs hard in the world of Z-Fighters but, out among the mellow men, he’s set for life. Verdict: His whole life is a Struggle but money is never part of that.

Gohan, Videl, Pan

Videl is a literal Satan. She’s the daughter of the “World’s Savior”. Satan has more money that probably everyone in that world save The Briefs. Satan absolutely spoils Videl, which was a point of contention in their relationship when she was teenager, but that doting never changed. Even as an adult, he gushes over his daughter and, now that Pan is around, it’s doubly worse. Plus, he knows that Gohan killed Cell. Dude holds that kid in super high esteem. Being part of the Stan family, alone, is enough to set Gohan’s family up for generations but, again, he’s still Ox King’s, an actual treasure rich king of a territory, grandson and Goku’s, mans is best friends with the richest woman in the world and just got handed a cool hundred mil, oldest son. Verdict: Never Struggle.

We don’t dismiss Bulma around these parts, bud. She’s amazing, considerate, and brilliant. Ma is a solid wife, a fantastic mother, and a great f*cking friend. She helped to rehabilitate the second strongest motherf*cker on the planet, arguably the universe now that Getes has access to Ultra Ego, and raised Future Trunks into the most upstanding motherf*cker in the Z-Crew, Gohan included. Knowing her personality, knowing her need to solve problems, i imagine she’s used her cash and influence in more, practical, social ways as well. Aside from the fact the current iteration of the Capsule tech is her own design, there’s is definitely more she’s doing behind the scenes because why wouldn’t she? Bulma can be self-serving and is laughably vain, but she’s a solid chick, with an unassailable morality, and a giant heart. There’s no way she’s even a secondary antagonist, let alone the villain of that story.

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ssa25 · 4 years

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Not for You - Sasuhina

Rated: T (for curse words and other implicit details)

Hinata pulled the lapels of her borrowed faux leather jacket closer together to keep out the evening breeze. And, under that pretense, cover up her decolletage that seemed to strain against the black tube top Ino had also lent (read:forced) her to wear. The girl had some crazy convincing skills.

“C’mon Hinata… We can’t have Naruto waiting too long… Lord knows he can’t keep it together for too long without letting his inner fuckboy out…”

The telltale blush on Hyuuga Hinata was creeping up slowly. But she tried to calm her nerves. She could do this, she definitely could. Flirt with Naruto.

It had only been a week since she was introduced to him at the apartment she moved into. Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura were next door neighbours, and good friends with Tenten, her flatmate.

The girls had been welcoming, much to her relief. It was hard to transfer universities in the middle of sophomore year, but desperate times called for desperate measures. After her father’s car accident and Hanabi being a teenager, her Uncle Hizashi had them move to Konoha to live with his family. Hyuuga Hiashi who was wheelchair bound for the next few months, now was under the care of his twin brother and his family. Hanabi could focus on school and Hinata didn't have to consider dropping out of university to care for him. Their Uncle's home wasn't lavish by any stretch and Hinata didn’t want to impede anymore than she had to, so she opted to rent out near university.

It was there that she first met Uzumaki Naruto. Tall, blonde, fit and tanned, she was practically moony eyed for the first few seconds when Tenten introduced him to her. He had been kind enough to help Ino and Sakura assemble their new dining table, after their old rickety one collapsed, unable to bear Ino and her weird but sweet boyfriend Sai’s weight, as per Sakura’s accusations. All in all, moving to Konoha had been a weirdly pleasant experience, and meeting Naruto was just turning out to be the highlight of it all.

Tenten was quick on the uptake and got Hinata to attend the Friday night party at a Nara Shikamaru’s mansion. She had never met him, but that wasn’t going to be a big deal. Everyone was invited.

“Uh-oh, Sakura just messaged, she is too busy looking for Sasuke to keep a tab on Naruto.”, Tenten looked up from her phone at her blond and the blue haired companion. “The house is right around the corner. Let’s get going.”

They could even hear the low hum of music that was probably blasting over at their destination. Hinata took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She looked to the side and found dark tinted window of an black SUV, reflecting her flushed nervous appearance. Turning fully to it, she pushed her fingers through her hair touch up the sexy messy hair Ino had helped her with. Smacking her lips together to keep her lip gloss even, her eyes drifted downwards to birth of her cleavage and her face contorted into a nervous frown. Parting the sides of the jacket, she saw how the top was literally like second skin on her body. Never did she think that her body could look sexy and alluring. She traced the hem of the neckline wondering if others would deem it as slutty.

She had always dressed modestly, her dresses always below knee length, her jeans always baggy and her tops always three sizes bigger. Her father had severely restricted her since she was very young and forbid them to wear anything remotely suggestive. Now that she was on her own, she had the chance to change her style, but this outfit was clearly an exaggeration.

She pulled up the neckline to cover what she could and pulled the jacket close. And tried to look more determined than shy.

"I can do this… I can talk to Naruto…. Yeah..", she muttered words of courage to herself.

“Hinata..??", Ino called her. Tenten and her were already a few yards away.

“Yeah, I-I’ll be there…”

Just as she cast a final glance at her reflection, she heard the whirring sound of the tinted window lowering. She gasped and took a step back, horrified to see a dark haired stranger looking back at her from the inside of the SUV.

It was so embarrassing, she wanted to smack her head somewhere. Unsure of what she should do in such an awkward situation, she muttered a ‘sorry’ and started walking away, mentally cursing her rotten luck. Ino and Tenten were nowhere in sight, they had probably just turned around the corner.

She decided it would be better to join them. But on hearing a short whistle from behind her, she halted and turned slowly to see the guy in the car, open his door and get out. He had a slight smirk on his face as he looked at her and shut the door.

"You might want to take off your jacket. Naruto would come talk to you himself."

If she thought she couldn't get any redder than she usually did, she was proven wrong.

“Sasuke’s back!!! ”, Sakura’s voice boomed over the loud music.

Hinata choked on the cheap wine she had been sipping on, while talking to Naruto, when she saw the man Sakura had pulled towards them. It was the same creep of a guy she had seen minutes back.

Trying to cough it out, Naruto helped pat her back.

“Hey, hey, you alright?”

She nodded her head and thought about ducking away under some excuse.

“Hinata, I want you to meet Uchiha Sasuke… Sasuke, this is Hinata, she just moved in with Tenten.”

“Hi. ”, Sasuke greeted her nonchalantly, but his eyes hovered over her. She shifted on her legs, clearly uncomfortable. Now that she remembered, she had heard his name in quite a few conversations between the girls.

She felt mortified to even think that this Sasuke guy might tell on her to Naruto. And then Naruto might think she was a weirdo. Amd avoid her. Oh, how she hated her luck.

Lost in her thoughts, she realised a little late at the few pairs of eyes staring at her, waiting for her response. She realised her mistake and quickly muttered a garbled ‘Hello’ back at him.

“Bastard, where did you disappear to? Sakura was going crazy looking for you…”, Naruto complained to him.

“I needed some fresh air.”, he replied leaning on the wall beside him.

“I told her you would lurking somewhere nearby, but she wouldn't listen…Anyway, I was just telling Hinata here about our upcoming basketball game against Suna .. Right before she choked on her drink…”

“Clothes too tight maybe…”, Sasuke muttered.

“What?”, Naruto and Sakura asked together.

“T-T-Tell me more about the game Naruto… ”, Hinata distracted Naruto from the evil acquaintance who was tattling on her. She had zipped up her jacket to make sure no one got an eyeful of what he had already seen. If that was the reaction, it was going to garner, she wasn’t too sure she could handle the attention.

"Sure.", her blonde haired crush grinned at her. "So, Sasuke and I are like….the star players of our team… Though, Shikamaru is the captain…. He is a lazy ass, but is the best strategist… And Suna Uni has an amazing team too… My friend Gaara plays in that team… Super guy, I'll introduce you to him at the afterparty. "

Hinata was only half listening to what he had to say, because it was starting to feel like a hot furnace inside the jacket. It was too crowded, the music was too loud, it was all just too much for her senses. She lifted her long locks over her shoulders just to ventilate herself.

"F*ck, why is it so hot in here..", Ino commented as she joined the group with her boyfriend Sai. She was fanning herself with a magazine. And had already taken off her denim jacket.

Just then, a brown haired guy with triangle shaped tattoos on his cheeks snickered and butted in between Sasuke and Naruto. "Yo yo yo…. Guess what I did… It's genius…"

Tenten looked at him suspiciously and replied. "What Kiba?"

"Turned up the heaters to the max in all the rooms…. In no time, chicks will be shedding their clothes.. It's gonna be epic.. ", Kiba laughed and patted the guys' backs and walked away in the direction of the dancing crowd.

The girls gasped at his revelation and Hinata could only frown worriedly. She was definitely not taking off her jacket, but the only other option was to either get out of there or pass out from the intense heat.

Before she could inform any of the girls about her problem, Ino and Sai volunteered to find Shikamaru and get him to fix this mess, while Tenten left to refill her cup. The only other person left was Sakura, but she had pressed herself to Sasuke's side with no intention of letting go.

"Narutooooooooo"

A shrill voice screeched over the music. .

"F*cking hell…. Shion is here..", Naruto said as he nervously glanced around. "Who the f*ck invited her?"

"No one you idiot. It's an open invitation.", Sasuke replied with a straight face.

"Sh*t!", he scratched the back of his head and took a few steps back. "Well, it was nice chatting to you guys… See ya later."

With that, he rushed away from them to a different part of the mansion.

Hinata looked at his back in confusion. "What happened to him?", she asked Sakura.

The pretty pink haired woman wearing a tight red tube top and dark skinny jeans laughed in response. "He is avoiding Shion… He slept with her few months back… And now he can't get her off his back. Trust me, don't ever tell her that you like Naruto… That woman is crazy possessive about him…"

Hinata looked wide-eyed at Sakura, who didn't seem perturbed about spilling out about her crush on Naruto. She glanced at Sasuke who gave her a knowing smirk while drinking from his cup. It made her break out in a fresh round of sweat. As if, her jacket already wasn't feeling sticky on her skin.

"I… I need some fresh air.", she announced and walked away from the duo.

It took her a bit to navigate through the half drunk crowd of young adults, before she located the door to the back garden.

From the little, she had seen the mansion seemed even bigger on the inside than it looked from the outside. She had not met Shikamaru yet, but it seemed like his parents were loaded.

The back gardens seemed even more ostentatious than the front. There was a small gazebo on one side of it, which seemed unoccupied. She quickly occupied one of the wooden benches inside the gazebo, with her back leaning on the inside wall.

After a quick glance around, she unzipped the jacket and breathed out a sigh of relief. She should have stuck to wearing her own clothes, she surmised. This whole daring outfit was a bad bad idea. She slung the jacket down from her shoulders to her elbows to air out her back.

“You should take off that jacket.”, her heart lurched as she heard someone speak into her ears.

She spun around in her seat to find Sasuke, his eyes filled with mirth.

"What are you doing here?", she asked him suspiciously.

But he just walked around and got into the gazebo, sitting on a bench opposite to her. This time he had a bottle of beer in his hand.

She slipped the jacket back up her shoulders and looked away from him. Was he following her? She didn’t even have the courage to ask him blatantly.

She decided to ignore him, hoping he would go back to wherever he came from and she could continue cooling herself. If not, she would have to look for another place for some solitary cooling off.

"So, Naruto, huh?", he spoke again.

"E-excuse me??"

"Quite curious I think, he hardly had anyone pinning after him when he was younger. Noe he's got a handful. Is it the hair? Or the tan?", he mulled over loud enough for her to hear.

Hinata crossed her arms across her abdomen and looked down on the weather-worn wooden planks to hide her blush. "I don't believe that's any of your busi-"

"Aa, both then."

Hinata huffed in frustration and glared at the man, but he seemed unruffled. She really wanted to speak up for herself.

“Y-you know, it isn’t polite to look at a woman in her vulnerable state without her knowledge.”

“Hardly my fault. You did all of that yourself.”, Sasuke replied as folded one leg over the other.

“But you could have let me know of your presence behind the tinted windows.”

“Why would I do that? In fact, as I had mentioned before, you are quite appropriately dressed for Naruto…. He is looking for a good lay tonight… Like most guys here… ”

She looked aghast at what he was insinuating. He was clearly an obnoxious person.

“Most guys like…. you?...”

“Hn… Depends… Are you suggesting something?”

She narrowed her eyes at him and grimaced. “You… You are really obnoxious."

The man chuckled at her.

“Aren’t you overreacting?”, he asked as she folded her arms and looked away from him.

Hinata was a very patient person on a good day. But today, she was not in the mood to put up with any judgement from a guy who, up until a few hours back, had not even been aware of her existence. Or maybe it was just the wine talking.

“Maybe I am, I’m not so sure myself. But I’m positively certain that I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

That was when they heard some giggles behind the some thick bushes few yards away.

Sasuke didn't say anything after she made her reluctance to chat, verbally clear to him. An awkward silence followed for the next minute or so, and Hinata considered going back home. Naruto was hiding, and she was uncomfortable with her clothes.

When she stood up, the quiet of the evening was disrupted by lewd feminine moans.

"Umm...Ah...Yes...Yes…. F*ck…. yes…..yes…. Sai…. F*ck… you're so big…"

Hinata was horrified beyond words, while her face looked like a ripe tomato. When she heard Sasuke snicker at her, she floundered internally to snap back at him.

"Yes, Ino… Now we know that Sai is big.", Sasuke announced loud enough for the whole garden to have heard.

They heard Ino shriek before hearing a loud thump. Seconds later, they had Ino straightening her skirt as she stood in front of them, glaring at the Uchiha, with Sai right behind her. When she saw Hinata with him, she was surprised, to say the least.

"Oh… Hinata… What are you doing here? With Sasuke?"

With Sasuke? Hinata was shocked at the mild implication in her words. "N-Nothing… I… I-It was too hot inside, so I came here to cool off."

"Ino said the same thing.", Sai said with a passive expression. "So she wanted to f*ck outside."

Ino elbowed him lightly to shut him up. "My apologies. Sai doesn't have a filter. I tried to get Shikamaru to turn off the heaters, but he doesn't seem to want to come out of his room. Apparently, he had a fight with Temari earlier. So he is sulking by himself."

"Tch."

Ino put her hands on her hips as she looked at Sasuke, before turning to Hinata again. "Stay away from him Hinata."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the blonde woman. "What the f*ck is that about?"

"Nothing.", she replied with a shrug. "Just that Sakura has serious dibs on you. Hinata was probably not aware of it."

Sasuke sneered, "Ah, dibs. Sure. Because you are still pre-schoolers who don't understand when someone says that they are not interested."

"Well, you are never interested in anyone."

"Not true.", he snapped back at her.

Ino seemed a little surprised. So she leaned forward with a mocking smile. "Oh, really…. Tell me one person who has your interest."

Hinata moved her eyes back and forth between the two, preferring to be the passive witness of the exchange, like Sai. But when she saw Sasuke stare at her purposefully with an upward tilt of one corner of his lips, she got a strange sense of foreboding.

#SasuHina #might be a oneshot #Depending on how I feel I might also decide to write more

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Knightmare Scenario

It’s weird watching the discourse around fandom shift after the Snyder cut was announced. The SJW blogs and media shills are trying to spin this as a hit to creativity, to the medium all because the fans “got their way.” As a fan, as a creator, this sh*t is mad offensive, man. Justice League was butchered at the executive level. While i have no love for Snyder’s version of the DCEU, i kind of feel like his version would have been, at east, cohesive. What we got was a tonal monstrosity of patchwork themes and terrible characterization. Justice League was trash and everyone knew it.

There are a lot of people who liked Snyder’s weirdly dark, edgelord, try-hard, version of the DC continuity. I’m not one of those dudes. I don’t think Snyder has any respect for the characters or continuity he was gifted but that’s mean. These characters aren’t a job or clout chase in my eyes so seeing someone get them so goddamn wrong was hard to watch. Even so, the DCEU he crafted found success. It's like Bayformers. I hate that sh*t but i also understand there are a generation of kids whose first experience with my beloved fandom, is that franchise. I hate those films but i can’t be mad about the exposure or evolution, so to speak. That’s how i approach the Snyderverse. From what i understand, there’s four hours of film there, cut down to two on a studio mandate. Getting his original vision should be very interesting because, from what I've read, it’s wildly different than what we ended up with. At the very least, dude deserves his shot at finishing the narrative he started and I'm glad the fandom is getting their Snyder cut.

The consensus around the internet is that this a dangerous precedent, that studios shouldn’t cave to the will of “toxic” fans but, like, really? Toxic? Look, Hollywood peddles in fandom. They shill to these “toxic” fans. That’s called an installed fan base It’s guaranteed dollars. I’m all for letting creators, create, but if you decide to take a job in a well established fandom, you have a responsibility to those characters right. Batman has revised and revisited several times and the fandom always adapts, always allows those creators to weave their narrative. We’re in the middle of that sh*t happening again, while there is palpable apprehension to what Matt Reeves and Bat-Patts are making, no one is full-on boycotting the situation. No, the fandom is open to interpretation as long as you respect the mythos, thee lore, the characters, and what came before. The fans are there to guide you in a direction of what they expect, what they are willing to support. There is a lot of freedom to create in that space, you just have to respect the space. That’s what it boils down to; Respect.

Sonic the Hedgehog changed everything. When Paramount actually listened to the fans and went back to the lab in an effort to get the Sonic design corrected, the fans rejoiced. When they delayed the film to avoid crunch and give more breathing room for the artists to do their jobs, we were patience. When the movie finally released and made good on those redesign promises, we rewarded the studio with our praise and dollars. Sonic made almost four times it’s budget, even with the added effects work. Why the f*ck wouldn’t studios listen to the people paying their bills? How the f*ck is this toxic if everyone wins? And that’s the rub; Everyone wins. Who the f*ck is against that? The fans get what they want, the creators get to make their movie, and the studios make duckets. Why the f*ck are all of these blogs so against the most amicable outcome available? Why are these asshole so self-important that they think they can gate-keep fandom? How can you call yourselves fans, when you do this kind of sh*t?

If the Snyder cut works, i hear there might be a Suicide Squad re-cut. Ayers original vision was far more gritty, far more a street-level grift with WAY more of Leto’s Joker. In fact, in Ayer’s original pitch, Joker was the actual antagonist. It skewed way more toward the Suicide Squad animated film, with a tone similar to Fury. I’d love to see that. I’d love to see Leto’s version of that Joker actually being a threat and not a bad punchline or afterthought. Leto is a fantastic actor and its a crime he was undercut in favor of a f*cking trailer house cut of the film. I’m not holding my breath about that but, with this shift in power between studios and fans, anything is on the table. I mean, even Disney understands the weight of fan expectations. Mandalorian killed it’s first season and now Ahsoka Tahno, a fan-favorite character of the entire franchise and my personal second favorite character after Vader, is not only getting a cameo in the next season of Mando, not only her own series in development, but the number one fan option to portray her, Rosario Dawson, has actually been cast. The buzz around the second season of this show is f*cking staggering, man. Once again, the fans reward the studios for listening to and acknowledging their passions. Loyalty is a two-way street and we, as fans, can be extremely loyal when we feel like we are heard. This sh*t works. It makes sense.

Listen to your audience, not the talking heads who have an agenda to push and an ego to stroke. That’s not where you make your money. We are where you make your money and we have proven to be real generous with that loot when we are heard. Sonic and the Snyder cut are shifts in an industry. Between those films and the rise of Day-One streaming, Hollywood has a lot on it’s plate. The times are changing and the industry has to change with it or get steamrolled by the future. Don’t get caught on the wrong side of history because you want to gate-keep. That sh*t is over. Be better than that.

#Justice League #Snydercut #DC

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fieldnotesconfidential · 4 years

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It Has To Be Obvious At This Point

*from the other room* Are you still getting weird emails and people obviously hacking you and calling and hunting you down through your company? We have eyes and ears on all of that now. Plenty of intel over the years on home grown terror and so much we’ve learned about online recruitment for extremist sects. Insight into several murder investigations as well as gang activity coast to coast.

💃🏼Yes.💃🏼

🐲That all seems pretty dangerous.🐲

💃🏼There’s not much I can do at this point.💃🏼

👽Are you still trapped in some kind of assumed gold digging nightmare that doesn’t just set women’s rights back decades but human rights overall due to the unfathamble stupidity of relatives? Any attempted murders ahead for you in the new year? 👽

💃🏼It appears that way and let’s hope not.💃🏼

👹Are you going to do anything about all of this?👹

💃🏼At a certain point, what can you even do? It’s so far beyond any one thing I can do. I just need to be able to trust you guys to be able to do your separate jobs competently and you need to trust that I will be okay given my training and what I’ve learned from survival thus far.💃🏼

*from the other room* Are you still being hunted by over-aggressive stalker types insistent on using scare tactics or your interests against you and just being horrifying and loud and stopping at nothing to find out where you live even though you are extremely obvious and open about where you are at all times almost like a lure?

💃🏼Yes. I’m also just kind of ignoring things and people that seem strangely loud, stupid and/or creepy. Really reverting back to childhood. Back to basics when it comes to keeping myself safe. At least for now.💃🏼

🐲Makes sense.🐲

👹It honestly does.👹

👽Your life is basically ruined and you are going to end up homeless. You were raped and you’ve already been robbed and drugged repeatedly. People do not listen to your concerns and you have no credibility left. You are assumed mentally handicapped and useless. You aren’t even suicidal at this point, because you’re way above and beyond that. Any time you attempt to speak up you’re discounted and called crazy. You really are going to end up on the streets! Right after the holidays too, that sucks!👽

💃🏼Honestly, at least I’m not addicted to drugs or trapped in the depths of alcoholism or injured or sick. I’ve legitimately never been healthier so if this is going to happen this is the perfect time. I’m aware of the drug problem in the area so if I catch a few dealers just to be a b*tch that’s icing on the cake. Plus, there’s community resources I can reach out to if I lose everything. I can get new stuff. Besides, if the weather stays nice I will purposefully spend a few nights (or more) on the streets so that I have free reign to murder anything in self defense. I am genuinely looking forward to that if I am being completely honest.💃🏼

*from the other room* You can’t look forward to homelessness because it gives you free reign to murder. That’s not how that works.

💃🏼Um, it kind of does. I have been really being mindful of my diet. I’m gorgeous. Tall, blonde and thin. After all this, when I lose everything again after being raped and stalked and harassed and drugged and discredited, looking like this, homeless? I, legitimately, genuinely look forward to murdering the first person who even remotely acts insane within my general area. A real bloodbath kind of murder too. I can’t wait. I’m not sure if I’ll break their neck first then carve them up or go for a major artery first then start breaking bones while they bleed out. I’ll have to think through my strategy.💃🏼

👹Why so graphic?👹

🐲Whatever. The whole thing sounds like a disaster. What about all your stuff? Your place is so nice!🐲

💃🏼If stupid dumpster people want my stuff and life that bad they can have it. I’ll just start over. The thing about strong people is you can’t beat them. You can steal from them and hurt them, but they just come back later and f*ck you up beyond all belief. I’m pretty patient and know the law... well, although I really do want to murd...💃🏼

*from the other room* Just give it a rest with the murder stuff. You’re going to spook someone with a rouge weapon and then they’ll be on high alert because they’ll think you’re coming for them specifically, remember our classes o...

💃🏼I know. I’m not seeking anyone or anything out. However, if something goes out of its way to find me? Well, it was asking for it. Just like poking a rattles...💃🏼

🐲Ugh! Quit with the reptile analogies! You’re literally killing me!🐲

💉Technically we did inject her wi...💉

*from the other room* Goddammit! All of you out of here with all of this drama and get your collective sh*t together! If you end up out on your ass you know the process on what to do. No murder for fun!

💃🏼Fine.💃🏼

👽Can I ask you one question?👽

💃🏼Shoot.💃🏼

👽Do you have the ability to love anymore, after all this?👽

💃🏼Definitely not. That has unfortunately left the metaphorical building entirely. I most certainly will never fully (or even remotely) trust anyone or have the ability to genuinely open up again. High alert. The rest of my life. Cordial distance. If I seem genuine or like I’m connecting with you on an emotional level I am simply attempting to get a read on you and setting up a trust that I will later use to push you away forcefully the second I sense trouble. Basic manipulation in self defense. That’s as good as it gets.💃🏼

👽That is pretty rough.👽

🐲Legitimately brutal.🐲

🗿DO YOU GUYS WANT ANY COOKIES I MADE SOME LAST NIGHT AND BROUGHT THEM IN TO SHA...🗿

*from the other room* OUT OF MY OFFICE!!! NOW!!!

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aryanarecords · 7 years

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INTERVIEW WITH THE PALMETTOS

Hi my lovely readers! I am so stoked to be featuring an up and coming band today, The Palmettos! I recently got to interview the lead singer, Matthew Sheik, and it’s safe to say they’re an awesome band! From the story behind their name, to the inspiration behind their single “Reunion In Technicolor,” celebrity crush, and dream opening act, they’re definitely worth a listen!

Who are the members of The Palmettos and what are their roles? Matthew Sheik- Vocals, Rhythm Guitar Nick Rohleder- Lead Guitar Brett Scott- Drums and Percussion Ronnie Richardson-Keys and Midi Aaron Sawheb-Vocals, Bass Guitar

How did you form your band? We started out as a lot of bands, just kind of jamming in high school, I was always pretty adamant about writing our own material, so we really tried to stay away from covers and all of that. We ended up recording several demos on our own trying to hone in on our sound. Most of us went to college and all that jazz but this past year we collectively decided to start playing again, we’ve got a bunch of material we can’t wait to release.

How did you think of your band name? The crazy thing is we were actually called “The Sheiks” for the longest time! We all really dug that name. We were kind of trying to design some mercy and Brett was like, “Hey, we should probably check if this name is copyrighted before we start selling this sh*t.” Turns it was, and by none other but Third Man Records. We didn’t really want to f*ck with Jack White so we thought we should probs change it. There’s this nice plant in my driveway I see everyday called a palmetto. That’s about all the thought that went into it.

What style or genre would you classify your music as? Indie/Dream Pop, but we invite you to take a crack at it, what would you classify us as?

Who are some of your musical influences? We all grew up in the mid 2000’s so we grew up on bands like The Killers, The Strokes, The Cribs, and Kings of Leon. However, we are equally inspired by lot’s of new wave bands like New Order, or The Cure. (Good taste.)

The Kiss, Robert Doisneau

What inspired you to write "Reunion In Technicolor"? There is a famous photograph by Robert Doisneau called “The Kiss”. I don’t know how or why but I’ve had this photo hung up my whole life, I think the gist of the tune was how strange it is to meet up with someone you used to be very close or perhaps romantically involved with and how it’s probably not going to be as mind blowing or romantically charged as the photo is, but it could still be nice to take solace in the fact you are on good enough terms to at least still speak or reunite every so often…. Or it could be the title of a foreign love film from the ‘50s. The plot thickens!

What’s the inspiration/ story behind the cover art for “Reunion In Technicolor”?

We really wanted to try and recapture the simplicity and classic nature of the Doisneau photograph, but in a more contemporary kind of way. At first we figured we would recreate the original photo but it just looked kind of weird. We ended up settling on a more melancholy sort of vibe next to a baptismal fountain in a local cathedral. I feel that it kind of captured the essence of what the reunion the song vaguely describes would look like. I could lie and say the baptismal fountain was a striking center piece alluding to the cleansing nature such a meeting would have on a strained relationship, but in reality we were about to get kicked out of the church because we weren't exactly allowed to be there and it just looked really dope.

When can we expect new music? This year without a shadow of a doubt. We’ve got two rather lengthy EP’s due out early this year, “Prime of Youth”, and “Closer to the Coast”. You’ll have to tell us what you think once they drop!

What music have you been listening to lately? Lots of Blood Orange, I’m also very fond of this new XX track, “On Hold”.

What’s your dream venue to perform at? A debaucherous house party somewhere in Europe

What was the first record or CD you bought? NSYNC by NSYNC

Fun pre-performance rituals? Maybe a beer or two, we’re kind of boring.

Celebrity crush? I can’t speak for the rest of the band but I think Emma Stone is pretty neat.

Who would you want to open for? The Cure….or NSYNC.

Who would you want to open for you? NSYNC.

Anything else you want listeners to know? We appreciate everything, thanks for sticking with us. Stay gold, baby.

Check out their song on Spotify, SoundCloud, or Apple Music!

Follow The Palmettos on Instagram!

Rock On,

Aryana

Want you or your band featured on my blog? Contact me: [email protected]

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womenofcolor15 · 4 years

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Philly Singer Jaguar Wright Rocks The Neo-Soul World With Sexual Assault Accusations Against Common, Blasts The Roots, Erykah Badu & Jill Scott

Philly songstress Jaguar Wright has made sexual assault allegations against Common, called The Roots fake, said Erykah Badu is “jealous” of her and bit her style, alleged Jill Scott slept around back in the day and much more. Whew, chile. More inside…

Philadelphia singer Jaguar Wright claims she has been letting folks "eat" for 20 years, but now, it’s “f*ckin’ over.”

The singer unleashed a bombshell of allegations in several social media videos about rappers and singers that make up the Neo-Soul world.

“The Neo-Soul movement was a fuckin’ lie,” she exclaimed in one of the videos posted to her Instagram account.

Jaguar Wright (real name Jacquelyn Wright) gained attention as a vocalist after meeting Philly band The Roots. That connection eventually led to a huge gig. She sung back-up vocals for Jay-Z during his 2001 “MTV: Unplugged” special. During her career, she released two solo albums and has toured with several artists, including The Roots.

Now, she’s calling out everyone on their bullsh*t because she’s fed up "tired of covering up the lies."

The social media tirade began a few days ago following the death of Malik B, a founding member of The Roots. Jaguar wasn’t pleased with how the other members sent him off – even though there had been friction between them.

”So, I wasn't able to be physically present at the service; but I was there in full spirit. I decided instead to do what #malikb would do.. put it to music,” she wrote on Instagram. She mentioned Questlove from The Roots blocked her and then proceeded to blast him. Check it:

View this post on Instagram

So, I wasn't able to be physically present at the service; but I was there in full spirit. I decided instead to do what #malikb would do.. put it to music. We shared that philosophy he and I. So, rather than simply apologizing for ill behavior #questlove me on IG instead. Keeping it I totally understand. I'm sure that conversation with #jimmyfallon wasn't easy ... "Why is she running down on me? I didn't screw her over?!" Or something like that I'm sure. Truth is Amir Thompson handles all life situations like this. Especially the difficult ones. He can't handle real life stress; yet he consistently creates messes for other people to clean up. So glad I don't have to explain why he does what he does anyone .. I can't quite remember how many ex girlfriends were informed of their break up by a second party. Guess things haven't changed. Some people will never evolve to their higher self .. by choice .. maybe they all should listen to self love again. #facts100 #thedream #goodtime #lovesparadox #theletgo #possibilityhistorians #dalladelphia #meetthejohnsons #dallaslife #notdownwitdacovid #3xdcafe1 #newmusic #masterpracticioner #newmenu

A post shared by Jaguar Wright (@jaguarwright) on Aug 1, 2020 at 2:41pm PDT

In a series of videos, Jaguar made tons of accusations, but one of the highlights from her allegations claims a rapper sexually assaulted her. While chatting during a IG Live session with another woman, Jaguar accused Oscar winner Common of trying to put his penis in her mouth while she slept.

"God damn Common. Next thing I know, we go to bed and he’s like, ‘C’mon Jag.’ I’m like ‘No, no, no. I’m tired n*gga. I was on the stage all night. I want to lay down.’ I laid down with my clothes on. I’m a rape survivor. I know how to buy myself a little time,” she explained.

“The next thing I know I’m waking up in the morning and I feel something poking in my face and sh*t,” she said. “I open my mouth and this n*gga tried to stick his d*ck in my mouth while I’m asleep. Lonnie f*cking Lynn, Rashid, Common … whatever the f*ck you want to call yourself. That’s why I stopped f*cking with him, because n*gga if you gonna try to stick your d*ck in my mouth while I’m asleep, there ain’t nothing you won’t do.”

Peep the clip below:

Jaguar Wright about Common assaulting her pic.twitter.com/7SC7jDyLgW

— Hunk with some Funk (@Mr1738) August 3, 2020

Wow. Common has not responded to these allegations…yet. It is interesting that a few days after these accusations flew, Tiffany Haddish confirmed her relationship with Common that she has been denying for close to a year.

Jaguar then talked about Common’s ex/singer Erykah Badu and explained why she thinks the “Bag Lady” singer never liked her. She said Badu is jealous of her and her song “Booty” is about her.

”Then he got with Erykah after I f*ckin spurned him. He hated my ex-husband for I don’t know how long. No matter where we bumped into each other, he wouldn’t even look my ex-husband in the face. He would talk to everybody…real b*tch sh*t. Let’s keep it a bean. Real b*tch sh*t,” she said.

"Then he got with Erykah and then Erykah was jealous as f*ck of me. That song ‘Booty’ on that second album. That sh*t was about me. She made that sh*t up at Black Lily in New York. That line, ‘Your booty might be bigger but I still can pull your n*gga but I don’t want him.’”

Not only that, Jaguar said Erykah would steal pieces from her sets and do them on stage, biting her style.

The Philadelphia native also made allegations against rapper Talib Kweli, who she accused of being a Peeping Tom. She said he peeped in on people changing after sets at a venue in New York. Peep the clip below:

The math is mathing. Talib BEEN a creep pic.twitter.com/tzm8Hrh3rR

— Maya Angelique (@moneyymaya) August 4, 2020

Jaguar also went in on her alleged former best friend Jill Scott. Apparently, Jaguar helped Jill Scott on her first two album and she feels like Jill still owes her. Back in the day, Jill hated Erykah, according to Jaguar. She said their beef started when Jill felt blindsided when she found out Erykah was put on The Roots’ “You Got Me” even though she wrote the lyrics. Jaguar said the only reason Jill and Erykah are friends now is because there’s no one left for them to be friends with because they both burned so many bridges.

The Philly singer also accused Jill of sleeping around back in the day in another video.

Check it:

View this post on Instagram

punks jump up to get beat down!

A post shared by Jaguar Wright (@jaguarwright) on Aug 4, 2020 at 10:27am PDT

@jaguarwright speaking up... @common @talibkweli pic.twitter.com/UoX7melDt8

— Everyday Normal Guy (@iiiRIGHTii) August 3, 2020

During another IG Live session, Jaguar criticized how Questlove and Black Thought of The Roots following the death of their bandmate, Malik B.

“I’m a little disappointed about that post Questlove put up too. I’m just gonna keep it a bean,” she said. “That’s what drove me crazy, sitting here holding all these lies and I don’t know why I’m holding these lies anymore. You wrote a sonnet about him and oils, talking about a ‘lighter side of Malik.’ What do you mean a lighter side of Malik?,” she questioned.

Check it:

View this post on Instagram

Dropping Knowledge & Facts #nuffsaid

A post shared by Jaguar Wright (@jaguarwright) on Jul 31, 2020 at 6:01am PDT

None of the artists she called out have responded as of yet. We could see Erykah, Jill and The Roots brushing off her accusations. However, she made very serious allegations against Common and Talib Kweli, so we wouldn't be surprised if either of them address the situation soon.

Do you believe her?

Photos: Michael A Walker Jr/Shutterstock.com/Jaguar's IG

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/08/05/philly-singer-jaguar-wright-rocks-the-neo-soul-world-with-sexual-assault-accusations-agai

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myvideosscripts-blog · 5 years

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[Onision Clips:

1. I think one of the most important things you can do as a person when you go through a lot of hard things is to just… stop focusing on the negative and sh*t.

2. “Can you make more DDlg videos of you making fun of it?” I would love to. I will most certainly make fun of DDlg.

3. Youtube Adpocalypse really f-ed me up.

4. Full Disclosure, I’m making this video today because none of my other videos are getting monetized.

5. I used Eugenia Cooney

6. Jaclyn Glenn, because she didn’t listen to me, and it’s literally because she didn’t listen to me. Had she listened to me, she would’ve been fine.]

Image of Fair Use Notice and Disclaimer, followed by countdown.

Voiceover: Hello everyone and welcome back to my channel. The Onision Saga continues… apparently. It’s also a reminder, in Ayalla’s words, “Onision psychologically and emotionally abused young women repeatedly. Just in case you forgot”. I’d like to add onto that saying that there are multiple testimonies circulating the internet and this is an issue that, while it has died down, should not be forgotten.

Before I jump in, if there’s anything you think I should cover with regards to Onision or anyone else, please feel free to DM me or leave me a comment below, my social media links are in the description! Also, this video is purely opinion unless otherwise stated. I discourage anyone from going out of their way to bully anyone in my video (but there’s a difference between being a bully and criticizing another person) All right, let’s get started.

If you’re unfamiliar with Onision, I have several videos you can view to catch up that have more backstory. On January 23rd, 2019, Onision released a video on his OnisionSpeaks channel titled “I need to be a better dad and husband” where it sat at about 4k views, and it now sits on almost 20k. Here’s the problem with that. He made the video with a title knowing it would trigger a response but only dedicated the last few minutes to actually talking about how a comment about him being an unattentive father hurt his feelings.

[Onision Clip: Somebody made a comment that really hurt my feelings. “Onision spending all day making videos” which I’ve been doing for a very long time, “So he can get paid $10 a video instead of spending time with his family.” That’s what they said. And that still hurts my feelings even now.]

Voiceover: The rest of the time he talks about how he’s never going to talk about Eugenia again because he doesn’t want to be a bottom feeder, going into detail about how using youtubers’ names in the title is what gets clicks and money.

[Dirty Dan clip of Onision: “I stated before I wasn’t going to make videos about this topic” all of Onision’s videos about Eugenia are being placed over the clip of him. “I stated before I wasn’t going to make videos about this topic.” Followed by screenshots of the dates in which he has since posted videos on Eugenia. Feb. 10th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th]

Voiceover: This isn’t the first time Onision has failed to follow through on his word, especially regarding Eugenia Cooney despite being asked not to talk about her.

Let me pause for a moment. I am so proud of her for getting help, it’s a very hard thing to do and I have the utmost confidence in her recovery. Recovery is a hot mess.

Back to the topic on hand, he’s also done the same thing with Jaclyn Glenn and Shane Dawson. Onision kinda reminds me of Jax Taylor from Vanderpump Rules, serial cheater, liar, manipulator, narcissist.

[Clips of Jax Taylor on Vanderpump Rules:

1. You know, if there was a rumor that Brittany and I broke up… well, maybe I was the one that started that rumor. I’m definitely allowed to flirt.

2. Jax: I never cheated. Sandoval: How can you ever trust someone like that?

3. I did go to Vegas and have relations with someone else.

4. Kristen: Jax is still the same piece of sh*t liar that he always has been.

5. Brittany: You lied to me. Jax: I didn’t mean to lie, but you understand why I did it. I didn’t wanna make a scene, like right in the middle of the comedy show.]

Voiceover: In his video titled “I need to be a better dad and husband”, he attempts to manipulate the viewer with phrases like, [Onision clip: “And when I say this, you know it’s true because her name’s not in the title.”] Except it wasn’t true then and it still isn’t now.

[Onision clip: While the Eugenia Cooney videos are about educating others on eating disorders and being healthy, and so forth. They were very educational videos.]

Voiceover: How educational was that cooking show?

When being accused of continuing to make money off of Eugenia, he took to twitter to debunk it but instead lied. I took a screenshot of his tweet and responded on my own account. His tweet reads, “As usual, the rumors are not true. I am not making videos on Eugenia Cooney for money. This is an important topic that needs to be discussed. I have a patreon to help me when my videos do not get monetized. I truly do care about her. As usual, I come with proof.” And he provided a screenshot of his videos on Eugenia Cooney, all of which have been flagged with the yellow icon, but apparently Onision thinks his followers are dumb as a bag of rocks. My response reads, “Let’s get one thing straight. The yellow icon simply means there are limited ads, ergo you’re still making money. And requesting for manual review means you’re trying to get coin. This is easily debunked and really terrible manipulation.”

In another video, he leaks DMs between himself and Jaclyn Glenn, in which he fails to mask his aggression and anger. Does anyone else notice that if Onision doesn’t get attention from someone or can’t use them in his videos, he bashes them relentlessly and makes videos about them anyway.

[Onision clip: Because it doesn’t f-ing matter who’s responsible. You guys are so f-ing stupid… Anyway, and I just wanna express the ‘you guys are so f-ing stupid’. That is an act, it’s a performance. That is me trying to express myself in a way that will impact you. It is not some kind of loss of temper.]

Voiceover: Let’s back up a second. When Eugenia first posted on twitter that she was working with her doctor directly, everyone jumped for joy, but Onision being Onision took advantage of the situation. On January 23rd he said he would stop making videos on her.

Two and a half weeks later, February 10th he posted a video with her name in the title, like the rest of us bottom feeders, titled “You Guys Saved Eugenia”. Let’s not sugar coat this, Eugenia saved herself probably with the help of Jaclyn Glenn and other close friends.

[Onision clip fake crying: Um, thank you guys so much for helping Eugenia Cooney and I am so glad that this might not actually be… the end of her. Thank you so much, bye.]

Voiceover: Oh god, it’s like watching Ashton Kutcher cry on The Ranch, just god awful acting. Another manipulation tactic, superficial sympathy, also known as crocodile tears.

Not only does his acting reek of disingenuous bs, but he brags about all the things he’s done to help Eugenia

[Onision clip: I did so many things. If you guys go through all the videos I made: I contacted the authorities, asking them what I could do. I asked you guys if you knew a family member you could reach out to, get the family members to help. Um, I tried so many things. Tons of research, tons of campaigns and so forth. You don’t wanna see people suffer, you don’t wanna see people struggle like Eugenia was.]

Voiceover: He talks about how he didn’t want to see anyone struggle, however when Jaclyn Glenn first came forward with her video on Social Repose cheating on her, he made a video basically saying I told you so

[Onision clip: I deserve an apology for all of the lies that Jaclyn told about me… or about herself, her relationship. Making me seem like the fraud when I knew I was right.]

Voiceover: And I really wonder how pleased he was when he heard about it. Maybe he’s salty about the fact that she has since found a healthy relationship, with someone who isn’t him.

Onision is incapable of committing to his word, which at this point is as reliable as a plastic spork when you’re eating a steak. No wait, he’s a vegetarian… uh, I don’t know, an eggplant? He further exploits Eugenia for his own personal gain in order to drive traffic to his pathetic forums, which omg have over 600 members, congratulations on a major feat, Greg.

Let’s continue, in his video titled “Eugenia Was Saved by a Youtuber? It wasn’t me”. No one was wondering if it was. He spends the first 6 minutes of it complaining about people calling him a narcissist.

[Onision clip: People were saying it was crocodile tears. They say, uh, narcissist, sociopath, uh, egomaniac, etc. This is all to dehumanize me.]

Voiceover: I mean, change your behavior, and commentary channels might change their opinions.

[Onision clip: This is how you know I’m honest, because I tell you things that no reasonable person would admit.]

Voiceover: Proceeded by things that don’t remotely define honesty. And remember from Greg’s own mouth, it’s easy to fake. I’ve heard a couple people comment that Greg has once said he can make himself cry, on command, so that’s worth noting.

The thing about Greg is when he’s on a mission, he’ll go to any means necessary to achieve his goal, even if that means disrespecting other people, leaking private messages, shaming others, pretty much anything.

This video is essentially him retelling the story of Jaclyn Glenn and Social Repose, pointing all of these mental flaws in others and possible happenings which he thinks are immoral but are perfectly legal, if they happened. In the DMs you see that Onision did not get the answers he wanted from Jaclyn so he built this video projecting all of the blame on literally everyone else.

[Onision clip: I got DMs and I dm-ed Jaclyn Glenn. Uh, of her asking me to shut the f-ck up.

Voiceover: Yeah her asking you to not tweet at her about Eugenia is the same thing as telling him to shut up. When he asked what she put in motion, she answers, “There’s a lot happening and to be totally honest I don’t trust that our convo won’t end up online”. That’s a pretty good judge of character right there.

[Onision clip: I’m a performer. I’m an entertainer.]

Voiceover: You’re a mess, Greg. A mess.

[Onision clip: It’s just a performance. It’s just a creation that I felt you would be entertained by.]

Voiceover: How do we know whether or not him caring so much about Eugenia, making all of these videos about her isn’t purely for entertainment and money.

The rest of that video is essentially Greg contradicting himself and verbally assaulting his camera.

Let me save everyone the pain of having to watch any of his further Eugenia videos, and any of his videos in general.

The ones on Eugenia are clickbait and they’re all made a certain length probably because of the algorithm, which tends to promote longer videos. But rest assured, he doesn’t have any insider information. Or any information on her that isn’t readily available and accessible through a simple, little google search.

In short, well, not really at this point, but in a certain length of time, I personally believe that Onision is incapable of change.

But remember that’s just my opinion, and you are welcome to have your own opinions. Let me know what you think down below. Give me a thumbs up if you like, and subscribe if you’re interested in more of these types of videos. I will catch you guys next time, bye!

-Black screen-

[Onision clip: I have borderline personality disorder. So now we know the problem. So let’s figure this out, let’s conquer this problem and let’s become better people. Right?]

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chocolate-brownies · 5 years

Link

Wanderlust presenter Miki Agrawal is known for disrupting industries typically associated with shame. She loves questioning the status quo, and society’s standard approach. Between co-founding or inventing several companies and products, she also managed to write a bestselling book, Do Cool Sh*t: Quit Your Day Job, Start Your Own Business, and Live Happily Ever After.

Her newest book, Disrupt-Her, A Manifesto for the Modern Woman, comes out in hardback on January 29. We sat down with Miki to get a feel for what this newest project is about, and why we’re so excited for it to come out.

Wanderlust (WL): What do you mean by Disrupt-Her?

Miki Agrawal (MA): A person who is courageous enough to live life fully lit up, on her own terms, and is committed to moving the world forward, despite societal obstacles in her way. Disrupt-Her is an unabashed manifesto that inspires us to move past outrage and take positive steps on the personal, professional, and societal levels. It galvanizes us to action in 13 major areas of our lives with as much firepower as possible. These are the credos we live by, the advice we give to friends, the tenets we instill in our companies and peers on a daily basis. It’s a whole body F*CK YES to your work, your love, your relationships, and your mission.

WL: Why is disruption to the status quo necessary right now?

MA: Doing things “the way society deems is acceptable” is not working. Eighty-five percent of people worldwide hate their jobs. Over 55 percent of Americans are medicating, and an even-greater percentage are bored with the “acceptable life path” that most follow (often to satiate previous generations’ societally accepted dreams that got squashed by their previous generations’ dreams for them and so on). It’s a vicious cycle and it’s hitting a boiling point. There is more outrage and divisiveness that ever before in this country, including rising mass shootings and suicide. The takedown culture is a pleasure to so many, and media is taking advantage of the click-bait ugliness that people are seeking to mask their own boredom. Society as we know it needs an overhaul. And who is society? It’s made up of *people* who are not different than any of us—so why should we listen to those people who are from years past and whose concept of “what’s acceptable” may not be relevant to today at all?

All of this needs complete and total *positive* disruption. People clearly don’t want to follow made-up rules like sheep, we want to break free of the shame that has a chokehold on our lives and live life on our terms, and fully lit up.

WL: What are some of the common societal beliefs that you are attempting to disrupt in your book?

MA: Why must we get serious as we grow up? Why must we get our head out of the clouds in class? Who is making up these rules and why?

Why are our children still learning like they did during the Industrial Revolution? The rows of desks, the standardized tests, were all made to churn out factory workers. Why are we still making our children go through this obsolete process of learning that clearly isn’t working? Why are we medicating our children to “help them focus” on a system that is completely irrelevant to current times? Why must we follow a career path at all? Even if you go to medical school and become a doctor for a few years, why must you stay in that profession? Because it makes your parents have more bragging rights? Because you might “lose face” if you switched careers and might possibly fail at the next thing you do, so rather you stay in your “safe career path” that makes you unhappy than try your hand at the thing that you are actually passionate about? Save face to whom and for what?

Why are we still not talking about “money”? Why is still tacky to talk about? Money is literally a made up energy exchange that we have agreed to is worth something and yet it’s taboo to discuss? Who says?

Why are we all down to live in a culture of complaining? I get it, everyone wants their angst heard, especially the selfie generation, but isn’t it better if we connected in a different, more positively disruptive way instead of hiding behind complaining? I call bullsh*t on all of it and more.

WL: How has this approach helped you? What have you gained by being a disruptor?

MA: We literally only have around 21,000 days to live from the point we graduate college (average 22-years-old) to the point we die (average age 80), so why not live those days fully lit up and fully alive and fully in our power to decide exactly who we want to be, for said short amount of time?

I have learned to quickly discern what is societal conditioning and what is my own thoughts and it has given me so much freedom to focus on being in integrity and choose a positive, loving path that speaks to me and to those I love. I learned that I don’t need to “get serious as I grow up,” I can still live in a child-like state of curiosity, playfulness and awe, and still be a responsible adult at the same time.

I learned that I don’t have to follow a “career path,” I can follow my “lit path,” where the dots of my life will inevitably connect. I learned to look at money as flowing energy and the more I saw money as an energy exchange, the more I was able to be released from the weirdness around it and by releasing the weirdness around it, I was able to build my businesses to over $150 million.

I learned that rather than complain about things, come with solutions before even voicing any complaint. Those who come with solutions are coming at it from a productive angle, not from an “acceptable-culture-of-complaining” angle.

I learned that if I want to move society in a new, forward-thinking, positive direction, that it will come with a lot of pushback—and I have learned to love the process of teaching people the new, positive, more forward-thinking, happy way of existing, judgement-free of yourself and those around you.

Miki speaking at Wanderlust Speakeasy in 2015.

WL: You say this is a manifesto. What do you mean by that? What is a modern manifesto, and how can it help to push change?

MA: A manifesto is a wake up call. I think this book will help wake people up to how we are following made-up rules in all of the major areas in our lives and will help set a completely new life-changing, positively disruptive path forward for ourselves and the world.

WL: Women’s empowerment is having a moment. What can women learn in your book that they may not elsewhere?

MA: They will learn new original ways to talk about things like money, career and purpose in an empowered way, how to fight the patriarchy authentically and without outrage, how to find the loving partners who lift them up, how to understand and deal with Hate-hers in a different way and how to inspire a culture of positive disruption once and for all.

One of the major themes in the book is to encourage women to stop feeling like they don’t have control over their lives. It’s a fine line to walk between this kind of empowerment and victim-shaming. What’s the difference? What if a woman does feel like a victim?

This book shows women how to powerfully feel through all of their feelings and move through them in an even more powerful way. I share tangible techniques on how to feel empowered and empathetic even after having dealt with so many tough experiences.

WL: Can a man be a disrupt-her? Are we ready for allyship?

MA: Yes! We can all align with men who also believe in equality for all and there are plenty of them out there.

WL: Where do we go from here?

MA: Read Disrupt-Her, join our Disrupt-Her Book Club (a Facebook group) where you will be held accountable to disrupt your life in the most epic way imaginable. Once you hold yourself accountable and consciously do the exercises in the book, watch how your life, the lives of those around you and the world shift.

The post Disrupt-Her: A Manifesto to Mindfully Overthrow the Patriarchy appeared first on Wanderlust.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Knightmare Scenario

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213hiphopworldnews · 6 years

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Why Are Rap Fans So Mad At Vic Mensa For Calling XXXTentacion An Abuser In His BET Cypher?

Getty Image / Uproxx Studios

Vic Mensa isn’t known for biting his tongue. The outspoken Chicago rapper has been noticeably vocal on subjects from drug abuse to gun control to police violence, even when his own personal actions have run seemingly counter to his statements — a recent arrest for possession of a firearm led him to defend his views about banning “assault weapons.” In fact, like a certain other Chicago-based rapper, he often finds himself explaining or expanding on prior statements to incredulous fans and press, despite being so much better at doing so than Kanye West (and having generally more coherent and defensible views in the first place).

That was the position he found himself in this week as he posted a video to Instagram defending himself from criticism of an as-yet unaired BET Hip-Hop Awards Cypher verse which has sparked an online controversy. On Sunday, Miami-based rap impresario DJ Scheme, who is best known for his work with up-and-coming area artists like Wifisfuneral, Ski Mask The Slump God, and the late XXXTentacion, posted a tweet calling out a line from Vic’s verse, which Scheme heard in person during the taping.

yo bro how u gone say “Your favorite rapper is an abuser” and then follow it with a line saying “some shit X some shit so I won’t live long” u can deny it but everyone who was there heard that shit

— BAD VIBES (@DJSCHEME_) October 7, 2018

“Yo bro, how u gone say ‘Your favorite rapper is an abuser’ and then follow it with a line saying ‘some sh*t X some sh*t so I won’t live long’ u can deny it but everyone who was there heard that sh*t,” he wrote, clearly aiming this comment at Mensa, despite not tagging him in the post. The tweet generated an online furor akin to the “F*ck Russ” and “F*ck J. Cole” movements that have swirled around so-called conscious or woke rappers as social media and alternative rap continue to grow in popularity and influence.

This led to Vic posting the video defending his verse, wherein he states he stands behind the line and supports women by doing so. “Recently, I did a freestyle for the BET Award cypher addressing and condemning rappers who unabashedly abuse women and those who stand up for them and even call them legends,” he said. “I stand behind those statements.” He also denied knowing that XXX’s mom was in attendance and apologized to her, saying that he meant no disrespect.

However, the line itself, to the best of anyone’s knowledge, is categorically true. However you feel about XXXtentacion’s music, the man himself was awaiting trial on some truly egregious charges of domestic abuse against his then-pregnant ex-girlfriend. Among other heinous acts like beating her unconscious, reports given by the victim also include an instance of XXX threatening her with barbecue utensils. Rap fans and the industry itself have long given truly unfortunate leeway to men who are accused of abuse. I’ve already run down all the reasons why that’s just straight up wrong, but we’ve entered a truly dangerous era of defending these men online which has included artists using their industry clout to protect the standing of abusers’ music, such as when Kendrick Lamar’s management threatened to pull his catalog from Spotify for removing XXX’s songs from promoted playlists.

But why are rap fans so much quicker to call out the perceived disrespect of a deceased star than that deceased star’s actual wrongdoing? Those fans who support XXXtentacion after his tragic shooting death in Florida this summer (and yes, it is tragic anytime a human being is gunned down before their 21st birthday, regardless of what kind of person they were) supported him before it as well, despite his flagrant and vulgar refusal to even acknowledge the severity of his actions — although at the time of his death, he did seem to be at least trying to work towards changing his public perception, if not his actual behavior.

There are a few reasons, but chief among them is the deeply ingrained sexism of American society. This isn’t a hip-hop issue, this is a universal one. As we’ve seen all too recently from current events, women are rarely believed in our culture while men are protected, and that’s because we still have yet to acknowledge women as human beings worthy of respect and equitable treatment. Rap music may have an unforgivable misogynistic streak extending back to its inception, but rap music is also a reflection of the world around it.

Besides sexism, though, there seems to be a very real shift in the perception of stars. When I was growing up listening to Snoop Dogg and Tupac, their talk of acts of violence against women seemed exaggerated, cartoonish, like the rest of their hyperbolized rap personas. I may have used this analogy before, but the rappers of yesteryear were superheroes, larger-than-life, bolded and overstated so that their outlandish violence on record and in real life seemed surreal and patently untrue.

For rap fans who’ve grown up with 24-hour social media access to their favorite rappers, it can seem more like those stars are their friends — or could be, if only in the fans’ minds. Those fans, then, perceive anything like an attack on those stars as an attack on their friends. They naturally want to defend their “friends” from those attacks, even if their “friends” were in the wrong in the first place. Furthermore, with the barriers between our aspirational ideals and ourselves being chipped away by our shared digital experiences, we can see ourselves as them more than we would in the past.

It goes beyond just defending friends in some cases. Listeners see themselves in their favorite stars — their own shortcomings, their own victories, their own flaws, and their own dreams — and any criticism of said star becomes a criticism of the listeners themselves. They see XXX struggling with anger issues they may feel and so they want to see him triumph, even if it sets (or rather propagates) dangerous precedents in the treatment of a marginalized group — in this case, women — because they want to win over their own adversities.

In that mindset, critics become “haters,” holding artists accountable becomes disrespect, and taking a clear moral stance is seen as unrelenting rigidity and gatekeeping. Never mind that in all likelihood XXX did exactly the things he was accused of; in a penetrative profile in the Miami New Times, XXX bragged about slapping and kneeing a girl who had a crush on him in middle school and while on an interview with popular podcast No Jumper referenced in the same profile, he detailed hospitalizing a fellow inmate during a stint in juvenile detention.

So when Vic Mensa says “your favorite rapper is an abuser” in a rap verse and “domestic and sexual abuse are not excusable because you have talent or you are troubled” in the caption of his Instagram post justifying the line, he is expressing two things and two things only: An incontrovertible fact about who XXXtentacion was in life and his position on violence against women. The response to his statements reflects more strongly on those expressing outrage against him than his statements do on him.

It says that XXX’s fans still look to XXX — even in death — for license to do what they want, when they want, without regard to consequences or collateral damage. It says that they do not want to be called out for their own bad behavior, just like those senators and judges and television talking heads and United States presidents rushed to defend Justice Brett Kavanaugh during his controversial confirmation hearing. Or, just like those individuals who could stop themselves from flinging invective at Colin Kaepernick for calling out police violence against people of color (especially Black people). It says that those individuals believe that pointing out destructive actions is worse than committing them.

Which is exactly why hip-hop — and America as a whole — needs those with platforms like Vic Mensa’s to continue to call out that negative and toxic conduct. Because someone has to call abusers and oppressors and bigots and bullies to the floor for their actions and hold them accountable — even when it’s uncomfortable for their fans and friends and family. The devil has enough advocates; someone needs to be his antagonists, or things will never change for the better.

source https://uproxx.com/hiphop/vic-mensa-backlash-xxxtentacion-bet-cypher/

#hiphop #hip hop legend #hip hop history #hip hop #music #trending #hip hop news #ballin #hip hop scen

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ultralifehackerguru-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/24-hour-juice-cleanse-turned-life-liquid-nightmare/

How a 24-hour juice cleanse turned my life into a liquid nightmare.

In the last two years, I put on a little weight.

Until now, I had always been the type of person who can eat virtually whatever and not gain an ounce. But after transitioning to a desk job, becoming less physically active after college, and living dangerously close to a bodega with 50¢ Hostess snacks in the window, I started packing on the pounds. How many pounds, I can’t be sure, because up until very recently, I purposely did not keep a scale or full-length mirror in my apartment. But after months of being in denial about why my jeans were getting tighter, I decided to do something about it.

Me wondering how I gained weight while eating two scoops of ice cream topped with a marshmallow…out of a churro.

I wasn’t going to do anything crazy like exercise or anything like that—I was looking for a quick fix. Ideally one that would allow me to drop two dress sizes, shed 10-15 pounds and make me look like Jessica Alba all in a matter of days, so I turned to the fad-diet of choice for Instagram influencers and hot girls from my high school: a juice cleanse.

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And yes, I know that many experts say juice cleanses are unhealthy and ultimately ineffective, but my morbid curiosity combined with the promise of “detoxing” my body was too intriguing to ignore. So I went down to a juice store and took the plunge.

The cool teen behind the counter talked me through my options, and I decided to try the most noncommittal of juice cleanses: the 24-hour cleanse. I figured that even if I absolutely hated it, I could keep it up for at least 24-hours. If I ended up liking it, maybe I’d even end up a life-long devotee!

Oh, April, you stupid, stupid idiot. If only you knew how naive you were.

The cool teen gave me 6 juices, labeled them in the order in which I was to drink them, apologized for not having the chocolate flavored nut milk (I said I didn’t care because cool teens intimidate me but deep down I cared, a lot), and I was on my way with $32.00 worth of liquids in tow.

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The next day, I started the cleanse as per the instructions: drink the first drink when I wake up, then drink a juice every 2 hours until I’m finished. I popped the first drink open around 7 a.m.

It was some sort of vanilla-almond milk that was surprisingly tasty. Sure, the texture was grainy, like someone kicked a whole bunch of sand into it, but nothing starts the day like a mouthful of sand! On the whole, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. I chugged it down. Not even 8 a.m. and already one down, five to go. This would be easy.

Two hours later, I dutifully unscrewed the cap to my second juice. This one looked like bottled swamp water, and it’s taste didn’t prove otherwise. It was 10 a.m., around the time I usually scarfed down a bowl or two of “choco-marshmallow cavity balls” or whatever that cereal is called, and I was feeling those familiar pangs of hunger.

To put it mildly, this juice was not satiating my cravings.

The initial flavor wasn’t horrible, but the aftertaste was acidic, like the taste in your mouth after you barf. I started doing that thing where you hold your breath and drink as much as possible, and then come up for air at the last second like a toddler drinking a juice box. No matter how much I drank, sipped, and chugged, I swear this f*cking juice never went down. I ended up nursing the lettuce-water for about 3 hours, putting me behind schedule. F*ck. This was the beginning of the end.

Now, this might be TMI, but I need to address the state of my poop during this time. You know you were wondering. Yes, I peed a whole bunch the morning of the cleanse, but what I didn’t do was take my daily 11 a.m. poop. Yes, somehow, the cleanse was making me constipated?! I assumed a juice cleanse would have the opposite effect. But nope. On top of everything else, this juice cleanse was giving me trust issues.

It’s like my asshole was acutely aware that I was doing a juice cleanse, and although I kept feeling like I had to go, I just couldn’t. It was like “I DON’T WANT THAT LIQUID SALAD ANYWHERE NEAR ME!” Isn’t the whole point of doing a juice cleanse to piss out of your butt?

Lunchtime rolls around and by now, I’m ravenous. I still am choking down juice #2 when a coworker informs me that there are free, warm cookies in the break room. At first, I resist. I have committed to a juice cleanse, and I am not going to sprout those Jessica Alba abs unless I take this thing seriously.

But athat point I must have temporarily blacked out, because about 45 seconds later I had a cookie in my mouth and I was doing the ONLY thing you’re not supposed to do while on a juice cleanse: I WAS EATING. FOOD.

I SUCK.

Picture curtesy of author.

Okay, to be fair…I was just listening to my body. And in that moment, my body said it really wanted a cookie. No, it was literally screaming: “ME WANT COOKIE.” And I have to be honest, before eating that cookie I was feeling a bit light headed and totally unfocused. But after eating it, I felt revived! I’m no doctor, but that cookie could’ve saved my life. It also made me thirsty.

Ooh ah la: juice #3!

Juice #3, which was disturbingly rust-colored, was a real f*cking doozy to get down. I kid you not, I sipped on this nasty sh*t for EIGHT HOURS before finishing it. Not only did it taste like spicy bile, but I was already so full of juice that my body straight up rejected any more liquid.

Initially I did this cleanse to see my love handles deteriorate, but it soon became clear: the only thing deteriorating was my soul.

Cut to 8 p.m. and I’m sitting in my apartment trying to keep down the last few sips of juice #3. I look in the mirror and see a sad, bloated, starving girl who is inexplicably sweating profusely. Besides the cookie, I hadn’t had solid food in 24-hours. Aren’t I supposed to be happy, with great teeth doing a yoga pose on Instagram or something right now?

You heard it hear first (okay, maybe you already knew this): Juice cleanses are a lie. I had my “come to Jesus” moment when I finally acknowledged that there is no way I am drinking three more juices before going to bed tonight. Dejected, I gifted juice #4 to a handyman who came over to fix a shelf in my apartment. He seemed confused by the gesture. And that is fair. Looking back, there is no greater white woman move than gifting your handyman an expensive yet disgusting bottle of juice. Sir, if you are reading this, I apologize.

As I fall asleep that night, I think about this juice cleanse. I’m pretty loopy from hunger, but more than that, I really miss chewing food. And I miss ingesting things—warm things. FOOD. I miss food.

After a day of drinking drink cold, bitter slop, I fell asleep thinking about how nice it would be to eat a microwaved sweet potato. Do you see what the f*ck a juice cleanse does to your mind? I ended up pining for a f*cking MICROWAVED SWEET POTATO. That sh*t is NOT normal.

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The next morning, I am surprising less hungry than I thought I would be. I decided to see this thing through, and make the 24 hour juice cleanse a 32-hour juice cleanse. I’m a goddamned warrior. I drink down the same vanilla almond drink I had yesterday for breakfast. Still grainy, but hey, after drinking that juice yesterday that tasted like it was fresh-squeezed directly from Satan’s butthole, I can’t complain.

Sloshing with liquid, I crack open the final juice around 10 a.m. I think, “Clear eyes. Full bladder. Can’t lose,” before downing the entire bottle. This last juice actually tasted good, so I didn’t have to do some mental gymnastics in order to convince myself to drink it. It also had 24 grams of (natural) sugar, so it was pretty much like drinking melted ice cream, which is why I was probably so on board with it. I threw the empty bottle in the recycling bin with vigor, feeling like Frodo throwing the one ring into the fiery pits of Mount Doom.

giphy

Reflecting on my ordeal experience, I realized I was hungry and unfocused the entire day. I had no energy and no motivation. And although this cleanse made me stop and appreciate the simple things like solid foods and chewing, it was not worth the dull, lingering headache that persisted for nearly 24 hours straight. I did not lose weight. I did not “detoxify” anything. I did not even get to fulfill the American dream of pissing out of my butt. The only thing this cleanse really did was confirm what I already knew deep down inside: there is no shortcut when it comes to being healthy.

I’m happy to report that now, months later, I lost the 15 pounds by not treating my body like a trash can and exercising regularly. It took several months, but not once did I ever have to drink liquefied grass-clippings to achieve my goals, so it was definitely well worth it.

In conclusion, I think that juice cleanses are stupid and bad. Maybe don’t do them.

*This post, not sponsored by Juice Cleanses™

(C)

#Lifestyle

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apsbicepstraining · 6 years

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I Tried To Become My Own Tea Cleanse And My Body Told Me To Croak F* ck Myself

I’m sure all of you can be attributed to that vacation bloat. After over a few weeks of snacking whatever the f* ck I missed, I ended I should go on a cleanse.

I’d never purified before. Anyone who knows me will tell youI’m the hangry friend.Not dining for a significant segment of hour hadnever been an option; when I don’t gobble, I seem horrendous and form everyone around me miserable.

ButI figured , I’m home forChristmas break. I have literally no responsibilities this week. What’s the worst amount of damage I could do to the world with a two-day cleanse ?

I also decided I wasn’t going to do a~ conventional~ purify — you are familiar with, like a established one that received from somewhere other than inside my own strange leader. I wasn’t going to consult experts or do any study. No space. I am too original for that.

I was going to make upmy own cleanse. A tea purge! I wondered if maybeI’d be the next fitness expert in the field. I was going to be a millionaire for certain. FOR SURE.

Why tea? I discovered somewhere that drinking three containers of tea a daytime manufactures you super healthy and thin. I don’t remember where I listened this, but I figured that if it were true, I would become super healthy after wasting 48 hours straight-up boozing tea.

F* ck Teatox and all that bullsh* t. Real-ass tea pouched wouldbe more cleansing, right?

Thus inaugurated my~ journeying ~. Come with me, children, down a strange, dark and bizarre itinerary into purging oblivion.

I had an idea in my psyche to get this tea that mycoworkerZarais alwaysdrinking: Yogi Detox. It has a lot of appetizing gazing stuff in it, like ginger. Mama likes her some ginger.

So I went to CVS, dragging my sister’s panicky lover for moral assist, but the Yogi Tea was nowhere to be found. I blame the Midwest and its delay on shipmentsforanything trendy.

Instead, the only tea this rustic constitution had to offer was the odious Lipton( CVS: destroying dreams since 1963 ). And so, in at least my second ghastly the actions of the day, I experienced myself in the laxatives aisle.

I decided on two teas: one called “Smooth Move, ” intended to relieve“occasional constipation”( yeah, such articles get real about turd, so prepare yourself) and a dandelion tea for detoxifying the liver.

I figured that these teas — combined with regular chamomile and pitch-black tea — would make for a rejuvenating cleanse.

I woke upon Day One around 9 am and started the day off with a great liberation of the bowels — before I’d even ingested any tea. Twas mystical. Anyone who says starting the day off with a horrible BM isn’t the best thought ever is lying.

Anyway.

Then I hadan EmergenC because my throat wasslightly scratchy in the days leading up to Christmas.( My immune organisation tends to shut down the moment my mother beginsvoicing her disapproval of my life selects .) EmergenC somehow containseight grams of carbs. But I necessity the vitamin C, so I bit the bullet.

I tookmy daily vitamins with my EmergenC. I took a vitamin for my fuzz, surface and nails, then addedfolic battery-acid, biotin and a calcium/ vitamin D complement. Gotta maintain those bones strong when you’re drinking nothing but tea all day.

At 9:31, I wasstarving.

I are determined to prepare my “sh* t tea, ” as I’m calling it, despite had now been had my morning “evacuation.” It’s full of licorice and other substance that’s supposed to really clean you out. I don’t know a lot about tea purifies, but from what I’ve heard from the three beings I know who love purifying, you’re supposed to sh* t your mentalities out.

La la la la la.

Iwaiteda century for the tea bagto steep to maximize its vitamin goodness, only reminding myself over and over that I’d gained seven pounds in the last five days. That was enough encouragement to lose for beauty.

After I boozed the tea, I was somewhat lower starving.

At 10 am, it was time to get into a exercising. I did2 0 minutes of abs and 40 instants on the treadmill at an incline( this while pumping five-pound heaviness ). It soundsfar more intense than it actually was.

During my workout, I drank one tonne of seltzer and 16 ounces of dandelion tea.Iwasn’t thirsty, but I’m rarely hungry after works out, so we’ll see what happens.

Sure enough, I soon becamepreoccupied with hunger. I find empty on several ranks. I started watching “Outlander, ” andI find my stomach twisting into bows, casting me guiding to the lavatory between episodes. I don’t known better I perhaps had so much better poo inside my organization, but there it was, spewing out of me like paste from a tube.

Needless to say, I wasn’t feelingthat greatafter basically peeing out of my ass all day.

At 2 pm, I tookan hour-long nap because I was exhaustedfrom not devouring. As you’ve possibly approximated, I’m too hella dramatic.

Around 6 pm, I wasforcibly dragged to my sisters’ lovers house for “dinner” with my family. I wasnot in high spirits because Iwasstarving. I was also feeling mad-sick at this level. Whileeveryone ateChinese takeoutand Rice Krispie Treats, I was in hell.I put a knot of ice microchips into a martini glass and atethem like sorbet so Icould find fancy.

I included a cinnamon stick with my tea at one point, too.

I wasn’t sure that I could make it another 24 hours on just tea. I feltso nauseating that I hadto take aspirin to try to combat the throbbing headache brought on by low-toned blood sugar.I hadmy last beaker of licorice sh* t tea before bunk and fallasleep immediately, hopeless to reach my misery tip. I’m not even being spectacular. I feltf* cking terrible.

Then, in the dark of the darknes, everything got much, much worse.I purposed up spending half the nighttime in the bathroom with explosive, lava-like bodily fluidserupting from both ends.

When I ultimately clambered back into bed, pulsating all over and terribly dehydrated. I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I had to eat and give up this ridiculous pursuit.

I had a shameful migraine the next day due to dehydration. It was not fun.

When all was said and done, I descent three pounds in the 24 hours of what was perhaps the most difficult experience of “peoples lives”. In occurrence you haven’t already figured it out, this half-brained tea purify was a seriously good decision on my part.

If you want to make a period last about 73 times, I indicate a homemade tea purge. If you crave not to feel like extinction, I propose forgoing a homemade tea cleanse.

The post I Tried To Become My Own Tea Cleanse And My Body Told Me To Croak F* ck Myself appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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smokeybrandcompositions · 7 years

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One Goddamn Weekend

Boy, did i have myself a weekend, man. SO. MANY. ISSUES. That ain’t even MY issue! Look, i get the attraction to crazy chicks. I do. The woman i love is a special kind of nuts. The thing is, though, she wants to be better. She takes steps to cope and heal. I understand it’ll never be good but it’s much better than it use to be. The pain never goes away, i know that from experience, but you learn to deal, if you want to deal. My brother’s chick? nope. Se flat out doesn’t WAN to be better. At all. She wants to spazz out, throw tantrums like a child, and then expect everyone to just ignore the fact she’s been intentionally destructive and console her shenanigans. It’s wild. Keep in mind, this chick is 19, legal adult.

Friday

Chick tried to actively convince me that my little brother, a kid i raised myself and her current boyfriend, dosed her with stimulants because he wanted someone to be awake with him. And she just sad okay. See, this scenario is faulty. My brother would never unknowingly dose someone with any thing because it’s a scummy ass move. He’ll share what he has with you if you ask, letting you know there might be a little extra in it because he’s not trying to go to jail. She rinks it and promptly stays up all day, after staying up all night at work. She also had to work that Friday night, too so No sleep for the wicked. i guess.

My brother is kind of the complex handyman now so he ha to run around all day getting stuff to fix things. This chick inserts herself into this situation because she can’t be without him for more than an hour without melting down. She immediately tries to take everything over because she’s kind of overbearing that way. This grates on my brother’s nerves and she takes it as a slight, like he’s not being attentive to her feelings. She’s literally interrupting his job. He gets back home, upset, but tolerates her as he fixes this house.

His friend shows up to take him to another kind of a celebration/birthday party for a cat we haven’t seen in a month because he’s been training as a firefighter. As he gets ready to go, she’s like, “Cuddle me for five minutes.” My brother said “No” because he was on his ride’s schedule. This turns into some ridiculous argument and she throws a tantrum. My brother leaves because who the f*ck wants to deal with a child, right? So she comes in and makes this MY f*cking problem. Literally yelling and crying an punching walls and sh*t. For hours. HOURS.

Eventually, my brother comes back to deal with this sh*t becuase i told him to come back and deal with this sh*t. So, instead of talking this nonsense out like a rational adult, She f*cking takes all of her anti-depressants and runs off toward the bridge. She’d rather kill herself than act like a goddamn adult. but not really. The entire time she was off running toward her great plunge, she kept looking back to see if anyone was following her.

No one was following her.

I’ve known this chick since December and in that time, i have personally talked her off of/picked her up from this suicide bridge 4 goddamn times. She’s not going to kill herself. She doesn’t have the heart to o it. This is all literally theatrics and emotional terrorism. The thing is, my brother and i, we don’t have emotions like that. I told her that when she first said she wanted to be with my brother. Literally sat her down and explained to her that we are not these other cats she’s dated. We do not care if you want to spazz out and act an ass. That sh*t doesn’t solve anything and it just makes you look like an asshole. So my brother leaves again. Blocks her calls. tells her to make a decision. SO she calls me. I literally tell her the same thing. When she realizes no one is biting, she comes home an tries to “throw up” these pills.

She didn’t throw-up an pills. Chick literally sat next to the toilet until she heard the volume on my TV come back on and then started wretched so loud it drowned out my TV. So i just turned it up. Honestly, i don’t think she took any of the pills. i confiscated the bottles and they were both pretty full but i digress. Who am i to call bullsh*t on someone’s suicide attempt.

Bullsh*t.

So she spazzes out all night. Literally didn’t get any sleep until the next morning. Missed work because i didn’t get enough rest over this chick’s nonsense. it was f*cking stupid. all night, man. My entire friday night was litstening to her sob about how my brother is the worst.

She cried to her best friend about it. Her ex-boyfriend (who beat and choked her regularly) about it. My brother’s best friend. Literally anyone who would listen? defamation on my brother’s name. It was f*cking ridiculous. All night. in between fits of ugly sobbing. and punching my walls. and breaking sh*t. All night, man. Which leads me into Saturday!

Saturday

My brother comes home Saturday morning and she storms out of the room. After screaming at him at the top of her lungs. my brother, sensing there is no sense to be had, goes to sleep. He takes offense to this and runs into the arms of a guy who she tried to f*ck before.

I wake my brother up to finish this job and ask where his chick is. He doesn’t know. She's grown. Assumed she’s doing adult things. Nope. She’s being as petty and childish as possible. Literally with his friends, salting his name. all goddamn day. My brother doesn’t care. Cat’s gonna shoot they shot. If she let’s it in, she’s not worth. If she doesn’t she’s a keeper. Simple as that. Not to this chick. She wants him to be violently jealous and fight his friends. Whom he’s known for DECADES. Over her. Come on, man?

So she comes home with an attitude. My brother decided to leave and take care of some other stuff. She sat here and stewed in her own stupid f*cking feelings. For hours. Hours. 10 o clock rolls around and she loses it. My brother has apparently been gone for 8 hours or some sh*t at this point and that’s just TOO much for her. HE was actually trying to get the car he bought her fixed and mobile this entire time, mind you, a fact which he told her. several times. Does this matter? nope. Straight nuclear, this chick goes.

From 10 pm Saturday night until 7 am Sunday morning, i sh*t you not, violent sobbing and tantrums. ALL. F*CKING. NIGHT.

In this time, an entire work shift, she spazzed out and blamed my brother for her depression spiral, shot self esteem, paranoia, the loss of her job, and various other things that are a result of her directly making stupid f*cking decisions. The logic gymnastics were amazing and stupid. She punched walls, broke bottles, and cut herself apparently. The performance was full of stupid and passion, i’ll give her that.

After a rocky start to Sunday morning, she calmed down a bit. i guess. i don’t know. i ignored her for most of the day. Couple hours pass, i think we good. Wrong.

Motherf*cking SUNDAY, man

Apparently there’s beef with some cat my brother knows. Threats were exchanged over the internet. chick is getting mad hype for no reason, like almost frothing at the mouth. Culminates into cats getting pulled up on. My brother asked me to drive him out to this cats job, to which i laughed in his face. F*ck no, i’m not doing that. the hell i look like? Eventually, the dude in question with the problem actively apologizes and squashes the beef. My brother agrees. Situation deescalated and done with. For this chick though? NOPE.

She’s DISAPPOINTED there’s no bloodshed. She’s mad at my brother for SQUASHING the beef. Motherf*ckers were threatening him with straight up maiming and murder and he took that situation down to 0 and she’s mad? the f*ck man??

Chick is literally running around here calling my brother a b*tch in so many words, questioning his manhood, disrespecting him in front of anyone in earshot. She’s on the phone with her friend, who has been abreast of the situation and is actively telling her to calm down, that she’s in the wrong, but nope. Her words, and i quote, “F*ck that, i’ll go to jail tonight! motherf*ckers forget b*tches is crazy!”

Like, the situation is over and she won’t LET IT BE OVER. My brother has fixed everything this chick f*cked up this weekend but she is just not letting it go. She’s not letting it stay fixed. Why?? Why won’t this just take??

Look, i get it. Mental illness is a motherf*cker. I know for a fact it is. I’m a high functioning sociopath with borderline personality disorder. Like, i could be an active serial killer if i wanted. I don’t because i check my crazy. i don’t want to be that person. I want to be able to function as best i can as a person. and that’s the key. I don’t use my issues as an excuse to be reckless, disrespectful, and cruel. This chick though? this 19 year old child? nah. This chick is f*cking ridiculous and she’s unapologetic about it. Absolutely refuses any semblance of responsibility. I took her in to give her a solid place where she could grow and get better. she’s done everything in her power to turn that olive branch into f*cking splinters in ONE GODDAMN WEEKEND. ONE. GODDAMN. WEEKEND.

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minniekookies97 · 7 years

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just my thought on bts XD

just wanna save what i write for my friend^^

Hello, I just wanna tell you my story why I stan BTS now, Im not going to force/nag u to like them as well. You know, it is just nice that if u like something, u wanna share your thought to others, and it will make us happy if someone is listening to us and has some feeling. So I just recommend BTS to you, but not forcing u to follow me. Let’s start my not so important story as a fangirl haha.

Where should I begin? After Sungmin got married, honestly I was very sad, but I have overcame that and have accept the fact that he is not single anymore and Im happy for him with his family now.

After he got married and went to military, as well as the other members (shindong, donghae, siwon, enhyuk) also went to military, suju was not so active like before so I tried to find other thing to listen to and open my mind to other groups. And my friend recommended me BTS song called ‘Just one day’ at first I don’t too like it but after listen to it several time, I like it and tried other songs and watched their variety shows. Actually, I didn’t like kind of rock / hip-hop song etc (I’m more into ballad songs), but after listen to BTS songs, I kinda accept it and actually they also have many ballad songs that is so good too. After Suju, I tho kpop is not for me anymore, but BTS keep me still haha.

My first impression for BTS is their strength on rap and dance, their dancing skill is so synch although their choreography is so hard. Their vocal in my opinion is not as good as suju KRY, but I think Jimin n Jungkook’s voice is good too. And what make BTS has added value is that they produced their own songs by themselves (not all tho but many). Suga, Rap Monster and Jhope can composed and write lyric. And their lyric is so deep and meaningful, for example BTS‘ Tomorrow, whalien 52, N.O, Move, No more dream, and many more haha, and it not always about love. And they write songs (their main theme is) about youth based on their experiences. They came from small company, slowly getting recognized, and nowadays they are so popular and got many awards because their hardwork and their team work. Last but not least I want to describe the members personality one by one, that makes me fall in love with all of them (before in suju im to biased to sungmin but in BTS, I have so many bias wreckers) please bear with me XD

JIN: the visual, just like siwon’s role, he is the eldest but many of the members always bully him, he is the awkward person, but his level of confidence is no doubt because his handsomeness

Suga(Yoongi): the rapper, really good at rapping just like hyukjae. He can write and compose songs. He is really swag like don’t give a f*ck, don’t gibe a sh*t, etc. he really like sleep, I wanna be rock in his next life so he does not need to move XD

Jhope (hoseok): the sunshine his personality is so bright, always smiling and cheer up. He is the dance leader. Really good at dance and also rap.

Rapmonster (namjoon); the leader, the rapper, the composer, the writer, his English skill is so good, but he is so clumsy, always break everything he touched XD

Jimin: the cute overload one, but can turn to be sexy in 0.00001 sec. Good at dance and vocal. He is like mochi, so cute and precious, attention seeker, always take care of other members.

V (taehyung): the alien one just like yesung, the visual, the overactive child.

Jungkook: the golden maknae, he can do anything (rap, sing, dance) very well, he is like shy boy at first, but know not anymore.

Ah I think that’s it, if u wanna try, please try to listen BTS’ I need U first J

I would love to listen to your story too. You can tell me everything about the group you love, it’s ok whether it is kpop or not, u can recommend me anything.

#bts #bangtan

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