#this just popped into my head it's very late | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

red-velvet-muffin · 2 days

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This is brutally rushed but I had this thought and I needed to share it with the class 😵‍💫😵‍💫

CW: panic attack, derealisation‼️

But after that just comfort

(Also I know it’s not very consistent I wrote that completely sleep deprived)

Simon having a panic attack post mission and Johnny being sweet and oblivious

Simon wasn’t one to give physical affection. He ignored it when it was his captains little pats or Gaz’ cheeky elbow nudges because it was just what they always did, it was nothing special.

He knew not to ask for it, knew he had a reputation to uphold.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t crave it.

He didn’t know the last time someone actually touched him.

Might have been his mother, it’s really been that long…

So when he arrives back at base after a mission, he doesn’t know what to do with the adrenaline. With the stress of the mission, the men they’d lost.

He took it to his quarters.

He just couldn’t face anyone right now.

Every pair of eyes was staring

Mouths screaming

Hands reaching

His clothes suffocated him

His tongue was heavy

His-

He reached his private quarters. The door slammed shut and he was already on the floor, shaky hands tearing his straps and armour and kit off, mask off, just needed the tightness to stop-

He breathed heavily, although it sounded more like sobbing, hands tangled in his hair, eyes pressed shut as he broke down.

This was nothing new.

Every time he returned from a mission it was the same.

He couldn’t dare go to anyone, he just couldn’t, so he locked himself in and rode down the outcome alone.

Because nobody would help. Nobody would come nobody would helpnobodywasthere-

“Simon?”

That bloody Scottish accent rang through the door and Simon’s heart jumped from the sudden voice.

Shit shit shit-

He rubbed his eyes, probably hard enough to pop a vessel, before getting up taking a deep breath and opening the door.

The last thing he needed was anyone in his personal space, he needed space, he needed-

“Jesus- fuck, Simon, coulda warned me I might fall in love”

Johnny grinned stupidly with wide eyes.

Ghost realised too late his mask was very much still somewhere across the room wherever it landed after being thrown midst his scheduled panic attack.

Normally he’d immediately cover his face. Normally he wouldn’t have taken off his mask in the first place.

But here he was, bare faced, looking at Johnny practically eye-fucking him and barely registering it.

Why didn’t he care?

Why did Simon’s head feel so empty when it was screaming at him a minute ago? An article popped into his head that he once read, something about a think called derealisation, but it was a vague thing he couldn’t hold onto.

“Uhm… is that all you’re here for or do you need something?” Was that his voice? That didn’t feel like his…

Johnny frowned.

“You feeling alright? Call me rude but you don’t look too bonnie there lt”

Goddamned Scott and his ability to read Simon like a book.

“Just here to see if you’re feeling okay after the mission. Been a rough one on all of us…”

Hmm, caring, too.

“Simon?”

Oh right. He was talking to him.

“Nothing a good bourbon can’t fix” he finally responded.

“So he’s an alcoholic, eh?” Johnny attempted at humour. “Can’t have you drinking all by yourself. Can I come in?”

Ghost just stepped aside, not bothering for any other kind of response.

Johnny barely waited before bursting through the door and making himself comfortable on his bed.

hmm. Bastard

“Yer quiet, Simon. Talk tae me”

“You don’t wanna know, Johnny” he grumbled back, looking for his mask. How did it get under his desk?

“Ya take a hug at least?”

…

Simon must have frozen so abruptly it was scary.

“Ah Jesus Christ. Got it, no hugs” Johnny laughed. What a pretty laugh…

“I’d like a hug”

What are you doing, get your shit together

Johnny looked perplexed. “Sorry?”

“Hug me before i change my mind”

“Well shit, wouldn’t miss that chance” and Johnny got up, walked over to him and just… embraced him.

No malicious intentions, no hurt, just reassurance.

Just warmth.

Ghost practically melted, he’s not proud of it.

There was no war, there were no dead men, there was no pain, no death,

Just Johnny.

Ghost took a deep breath through his nose, revelling in the calming scent of unmistakable MacTavish.

He doesn’t know how long they stayed that way, it was never long enough, but he must have looked pathetic when Johnny let go of him, hair a mess, eyeblack still smudged on his face, face red and eyes teary but he felt so… safe.

…

“Alright you tell anyone about this I’m shaving your mowhawk.”

“Copy that, lieutenant”

And the man was out the door. When did it get easier to breathe?

Simon sighed but couldn’t fight the grin tugging on the corner of his mouth.

Goddamn Scott

#simon ghost riley #soapghost #john soap mactavish #fluff #hurt/comfort #kinda #cod mw3 #cod mw2 #141 #ghostsoap

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jocelynscrazyideas · 2 days

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Would you ever right a piece about birth complications with brock boeser maybe like a premie little babe 🥹

Baby | Brock Boeser x reader

Summary: Brock comforts you as you had just given birth to your baby. Brock and your baby had came out about two months early, he’s just a preemie.

Warnings: none?!

A:N- I’m scared. I got to tired so I hope this kinda flops?!

I was due on the 15 of May. Brock and I’s baby had ended changing plans and popped out the 7th of March. I mean it’s still I nice birthday, in the late hockey season, summer is around the corner, just perfect timing. Only problem is that my baby is a premature child.

Doctor said that he has a very low chance of having normal a healthy life. I’m sure he’ll have a perfectly fine devil outisde but he’ll be in the schools repeating grades, but that doesn’t matter to me.

I’m scared I’ll lose the love of my life. Brock went down to grab me some ice chips, I didn’t want him to hear the news.

“Hey babe.” Brock says walking in with a paper cup of ice. “Eat up.” He hands me the cup and I chop down on them.

We haven’t seen our baby in 17 hours. I gave birth to him about 19 hours ago, but he went straight to the NICU. “I’m sure he’s okay.” Brock comforted me, I think it’s more for himself. Brick starts to pace back and forth across my room.

“I need to pee, help me up.” I say as I reach for a hand. I have my diapers on, they have an ice pack inside and cooking pads. No one told me that eveb having a premature baby is still exhausting. Such a small baby hurts to push out.

“He’s okay.” Brock says finally, no question and no lie. Only confidence.

Brock walks me to the bathroom and locks the door as he walks in with me. He helps me stand up and wipe. Gross.

I’m bleeding literally everywhere.

“How are you holding up?” Brock checks in on me. I’m fine. That’s what I should say but I start crying.

Truthfully, I’m terrified.

“I don’t want to lose him.” I say, I can’t breathe, I fall to the ground. Brock pulls my diaper up and washed mine and his own hands. He picks me up from the ground and tick me in my bed.

My heart rate is really fast. I need water.

“Baby, just look at me. We can always try again. Besides, Cruz will be okay. He’s going to be okay. That’s what the doctor said.” I love the name Cruz. It’s a perfect baby name, and the perfect grown man’s name.

I look into Brock’s blue eyes, and I just stare at the window that points towards the hallway in the hospital. Brock takes my cup of ice that melted and he drinks it. He’s obviously nervous too, so I have to be there for him as well.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, I know he’s not. I mean he’s probating the same I do. “No.” He states, plane and simple. He isn’t okay.

“Did you go watch him on the window? I look into his eyes, and at his overgrown beard, his blonde ashy hair, it’s a mess. I love it that way. It’s so personal that way, so intimate, seeing eachother so tired, exhausted, and a total wreck.

“No, but I’ll head down and take pictures for you.” Brock insists as he hold my hand and kisses it. He walks out and I’m alone.

It’s been about a month after Cruz has been born. We all made it out of the hospital but it’s been difficult. Cruz sees the doctor about twice a month, he has special milk, and he’s super fragile. I can’t even hold my own baby.

I know it seems wrong to keep Cruz at home with us, but Brock lives him, and I adore that.

It’s been 5 months. Cruz is a healthy and strong baby, but it’s been hard to keep him in his playroom when I’m cooking. He’s to strong.

“He’s so cute.” Brock whimpers as he puts Cruz into his crib. “I love him.” Brock whispers as he takes my hand and pull me onto our room. He sits me down and starts kissing me on my neck down.

“Baby number two?” I laugh out. I hope so.

“Yes. But maybe later.” Brock walks out of our room and come back with a big smile.

“I got you some..” Brock stalls and he opens this big pan of brownies. He knows I love brownies. I’ve been cleaning, nurturing, and cooking all day. I’ve been busy and haven’t had time to relax. This is it. Relaxing with Brock.

“I love you.” Brock nudged me after taking a bite into a brownie. We sit in our bed for hours until Cruz woke up.

#jocelynscrazyideas #hockey #nhl #brock boeser #vancouver canucks #🍇🍇🍇#hockey blurb #nhl fic #brock boeser x reader

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jtl-fics · 5 months

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Fluent Freshman - Part 45

Renee Walker stands next to two of her best friends in the entire world holding up a hand drawn sign. There's an, admittedly crudely drawn, Fox on the sign that Allison had made up.

Renee had seen it and smiled from across the airport as she made her way over to where Dan and Allison were standing waiting for everyone to come. The team had managed to coordinate their flights to land all within about two hours of one another and Allison had exactly zero desire to go back and forth from the airport so her driver was waiting out at a nearby cellphone lot to come and get them once everyone was there.

"Is it nice having a driver again?" Dan asks Allison.

"I sometimes miss driving around in my car but it's a lot easier to do my makeup with him driving." she says with a shrug as they continue to catch up. Renee is holding up the sign since Allison had complained that she had lost so much of the muscle she had previously had.

"Yeah, New York City seems like a major pain in the ass to drive in too." Dan agrees as her phone buzzes. She pulls out her phone and looks at it before a huge smile fills her face, one that means she's talking to Matt, "Oh! They just landed!" Dan says confirming Renee's suspicions.

Allison looks at her watch, "Wow, 20 minutes early. They must have gotten through boarding quickly." she comments.

"Or some good tailwind." Renee offers.

"When are Neil and Andrew due up?" Dan asks looking at Renee who smiles back at her friend.

"Andrew said they're going to take a break halfway here so they'll be here tomorrow morning." Renee says.

"Get it Neil." Allison nods and it had been a wonderful thing last year to watch Andrew and Allison make peace with one another. Their mutual desire to dress Neil up a bridge towards....maybe not friendship but camaraderie.

It warms Renee's heart to see her friends get along.

"The plane got tailwind, Neil's getting tail." Dan jokes.

"I'm looking forward to meeting the new kid that I've heard about." Renee says gently moving the topic on from their friends getting together. It didn't bother her at all, but she knew that Andrew would prefer no one talk about what he and Neil got up to.

"Oh! Yeah, uh..." Dan visibly buffers.

"Dan, you're the only one of us that's met the kid. His name's Smith." Allison says with eyebrows raised in judgement.

"Look, when Coach and I went to recruit the kid my brain was like 90% on the fact that I needed to go to my interview." Dan defends herself.

"So he wasn't that memorable for you?" Allison asks.

"Yeah, I'm surprised that he's getting along so well with the guys." Dan says. "Getting stabbed over Thanksgiving feels more like a Neil move than the quiet kid Coach and I met." she adds.

That had been an interesting phone call from Andrew. Renee hadn't even realized that she had become Natalie describing the best way to get rid of the body until Andrew had clarified that it'd been an accident and Smith was alive. Renee had been a little ashamed.

She was excited to meet the kid who Andrew had spoken to her about. Glad that their strange found family was growing just a little bit bigger.

They wait around continuing to talk about plans for the break together. Allison wants to go shopping and she wants to do it once Neil and Andrew are back. Dan wants to skate at the Rockefeller center. Renee would love it if they could do Christmas Eve Mass.

They're sure that Kevin is going to want to check out an Exy game. They're mostly sure that Matt will want to check out the LEGO store in downtown manhattan and that Aaron will be as excited for that as Matt is but pretending not to be. Nicky wants to catch a drag show and has made it clear that he will be going regardless of what anyone else wants to do. Andrew and Neil will probably just want to be alone when they have the chance though Neil had expressed some prior interest in the EXITES superstore and Andrew will more than likely enjoy the day Allison has planned to go shopping since she wants to update Neil's wardrobe.

The new kid, Smith, will be a mystery, but they're more than willing to be flexible.

Eventually they hear the tell-tale sign of most of the boy's arrival. "Babe!" comes from across the airport and Dan's head shoots up and spots the sight of Matt Boyd approaching his arms out wide almost clotheslining four different families on his way to Dan.

Dan is not much better as she rushes to him arms as wide.

They embrace like they always do whenever they have to spend time apart from one another and Renee knows that part of the reason that Dan took her job as assistant coach where she did is that the Washington State Congress Team had been looking at Matt the year prior to scout him.

She looks beyond the passionate reunion and sees Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky. She frowns brows furrowing...

Weren't they going to bring-

Nicky throws his arm out and it wraps around a kid she hadn't even realized was there. She blinks startled by his sudden appearance and blank expression as Nicky was pointing them out. He points to her and he can see her name on his lips she gives a wave and a smile.

Smith nods back in greeting.

He seems quite nice.

***

Renee is at the end of her proverbial rope.

This kid is a threat and she doesn't understand how she's the only person who can see it.

Being a threat isn't really an issue when you're a Fox. It's almost a given that there's some part of you that can be dangerous when backed into a corner but no one seems to be treating him like a threat.

She watches as Nicky and Matt throw their arms around him. As Kevin pushes smoothie after smoothie into his hands as he blankly sips. As Andrew and Neil sit with him quietly. As Dan pinches his cheeks. As Aaron ribs him for being bad at MarioKart.

She can't feel anything from him, no joy, no anger, nothing.

She can't even track him.

Renee has always prided herself on her ability to keep track of those around her. Spacial awareness was incredibly important when you're in a fight and it had always been one of her strongest points. She always knew where she was in relation to everyone else.

Except Smith.

The kid had given her no shortage of heart attacks as he appeared and disappeared seemingly at random.

She had finally gotten Andrew alone to ask, "Smith's quiet, non-intrusive." Andrew says with a shrug.

There's just something about him that makes the hair on the back of Renee's neck stand on edge and she hates feeling like she's the only one. She hates it even more that there's no real evidence that there's something amiss with this newest Fox.

So she settles in to watch.

They're out shopping and Allison is doing her best to get Neil a proper wardrobe with Andrew's considerable help, AKA nodding in approval when Neil comes out. She's not skimping on any of them but Neil is her main focus.

"Smith, what's a color you like?" Allison asks as she's looking at hoodies.

"I like purple." Smith answers and Renee barely manges to stop herself from flinching as his voice comes from right next to her.

"Pass." Andrew says as Neil comes out in a charmingly orange sweatshirt.

"I like it!" Neil argues.

"You have 10 sweatshirts that are that exact shade of orange." Andrew dismisses. "Try the blue one." he says pushing Neil back into the dressing room.

"Which one?" Neil asks.

Andrew sighs dramatically in a way that lets Renee know that he's doing exactly what he wants to be doing, "I'll show you." he says going into the dressing room with Neil.

"I still don't know how it took Baltimore for me to realize they were together." Nicky says as he's holding up two different purple sweatshirts to Smith's body. "You look good in a more purpley purple." Nicky says putting the more indigo colored sweatshirt back on the rack.

"Pants are coming up next, I'll get a lay of the land. I know everyone else's but Smith what's your height?" Allison asks.

"Five feet, nine inches." Smith answers as Nicky pushes him towards the dressing room. "Nicky it's a sweatshirt, I can put it on out here." Smith says.

"I know but I need an excuse to go back there and make sure Neil and Andrew aren't defiling a dressing room." Nicky says with a grin that implies he'd be more happy if they were.

"Gross." Aaron says as he takes a picture of himself to send to Katelyn to approve of the new outfit that Allison was pushing for him to get. "Wait," he pauses turning to where Allison was looking through various men's pants, "you know our heights? Like you've memorized them?" he asks.

"Yeah." Allison says looking at a pair of black slacks. "Everyone's measurements." she says nodding to herself.

"Even bust sizes?" he asks, voice not as quiet as he likely thinks it is.

"You're such a boy." Allison laughs not even looking up from the very different rack.

"How much longer are we going to be here?" Kevin asks with a sigh.

"Well, at least the time that it took you to ask that longer. We'll be done when we're done Kevin." Dan says long having given up on stopping Allison when the woman is on a spree.

"She knows that EXITES closes at 5 PM right?" Kevin asks.

"More importantly," Matt leans in, "that the LEGO store closes at 8 PM right?" Matt asks.

"How is that more important? The LEGO store is open later?" Kevin asks.

"Because we're not going to EXITES today, but we are going to the LEGO store." Matt says.

"If we don't spend the whole day here we can do both-"

"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Dan says with a sigh.

"But-"

"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Renee says with an apologetic smile.

"But-"

"Kevin, we're not going to EXITES today. Just sit down and let me find pants that'll make your pin-up days look tame in comparison." Allison says.

"That's not what those posters were!" Kevin argues with a blush on his face.

"Sure." Allison dismisses

***

Renee is quite happy with the sundresses she found even if they won't do her any good here in New York City during the Christmas break. Their next stop on their shopping day is over to the LEGO store where Matt makes no attempt to hide his enthusiasm as Aaron very valiantly does try to pretend like he's not utterly entranced by the sets and builds.

Renee thinks it's all very charming.

"We could have gone to EXITES." Kevin says with a frown as he looks at a build of an Exy racquet. "Can you take my picture with this?" he asks but he's not quite looking at Renee.

"Sure." Smith says from beside her, where he had apparently been.

"Thanks Smiths." Kevin says and stands next to the Exy racquet of LEGOs and crosses his arms and leans back.

"Kevin, stop posing like this will be for the cover of a Forbes Magazine." Andrew says with a sigh as he comes to stand on Renee's other side.

"Shut up, it's a picture for me!" Kevin says and continues to stand with his arms crossed.

"Oh, can you get a picture of me next Smith?" Neil asks coming up eyes shining in excitement as he looks at the racquet.

"Sure. As an apology for letting Nicky-"

"Don't talk about it." Neil and Andrew say at the same time.

Kevin gets his picture and then Andrew hands his phone to Smith for Neil's since Neil had broken the lens on his camera ages ago.

They wander around and Kevin finds a set to build the National Court that he grabs without a second thought. Neil and Andrew find a little LEGO man of Kevin that they buy as their 'preferred Kevin'. Kevin of course threatens to buy their LEGO figures once they have them and refer to them as his 'preferred Andrew and Neil'. A threat that neither of them comment on but Renee does buy the little Jean Moreau she finds. She'll paint it Trojan colors and send it over to him as a little gift.

As she continues to browse with her purchase in hand she hears Nicky, "Smithy, if you like it you should get it!" Nicky insists.

"Is it the price?" Allison asks.

"Yeah, I don't want to spend that much." Smith says with a nod expression still worryingly blank.

"When's your birthday? It can just be an early or a late present from me." Allison asks.

"March 1st, but really I'm fine not getting it." Smith shakes his head. "It's not that I'd like it just my little brother liked trains." he says and Renee watches Nicky's face turn from joyful teasing to intense determination.

"We're getting this set." Nicky says grabbing it and marching over to the counter even as Smith followed after him.

Interesting.

***

They finish off their day with some ice skating.

Matt, Aaron, Andrew, and Kevin all fall into the 'challenged' category.

They get on the ice and all four immediately fall. Renee stifles her laughter as Andrew and Aaron scowl. "Are you okay?" Smith asks and Renee almost loses her balance as he skates by her.

"Why the fuck are you good at skating?" Aaron asks scowling even as he takes Smith hand. Renee skates over and offers a hand to Kevin as Matt and Andrew are being helped up by their respective partners.

"Oh," Allison says skating by, "have you been up to Canada or something often?" she asks.

"I've been to Canada a few times. It's more that there was a rink I would go to every once in a while." Smith answers before turning back to Aaron, "I can help you keep balanced." he says offering his other hand.

"Smith, I don't want to hold your hand. That's kind of gay." Aaron huffs letting go of Smith's hand only to immediately beef it again when he tried to move forward.

***

Skating was fun even if Aaron kept blushing as Smith helped him skate since he never really got his 'ice legs'. The rest of them all more or less skated on their own by the end or, in the case of Andrew and Matt, seemed fine to keep skating while holding on.

Renee was warming herself by the fireplace in Allison's home enjoying some hot chocolate as Allison took a seat next to her. There was a lot of commotion in the kitchen as the team was working to make dinner together. Renee had excused herself after Smith had startled her while she had a knife in hand and she'd almost stabbed him on instinct.

She's just relieved that no one seemed to notice the near murder.

"You okay? You seemed tense in there." Allison asks.

Well, almost no one.

"Yes, I'm fine." she smiles and hopes that Allison will believe it.

Allison looks at her and Renee does have the benefit that Allison is slightly drunk since she was told firmly not to help with the cooking since she'd paid for the majority of the day.

"I'm glad I got you alone, there's something I want to hear your opinion on." Allison says deciding, apparently, to let it go for now.

Renee relaxes smiling at her friend, "What's that?" she asks wondering what purchase or thing unpurchased Allison was regretting.

Allison looks at Renee, expression utterly serious. "Don't you think there's something...weird about this kid?" she asks.

Renee straightens up glad that Allison had also felt like something was off with the kid that her friends had brought along. "What do you mean?" she asks wanting to hear what Allison thought.

"Look, he seems really nice. I mean a little too nice to be a Fox to be honest but I mean I guess you're a Fox as well so..." Allison rambles slightly taking another sip of her wine.

"Yes, go on." Renee nods.

"Yeah, he seems nice and Matt said he's got his own stuff even if he didn't wanna go into what that stuff was." Allison continues and it's a good thing Allison is drinking white wine considering the white carpet and her gesticulations. "But...it's just.. okay you can't make fun of me. Even though this is about to sound crazy." Allison says.

"I would never do something like that." Renee swears.

"Promise me." Allison says expression grave as she lifts up a pinky.

Renee smiles despite herself and hooks her pinky with Allison's, "I promise to not make fun of you." she swears other hand over her cross.

"I think he's Justin Bieber."