#this took an entire day of my life

[inkskinned]

it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.

like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips

because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.

bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.

and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.

these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?

and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.

in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.

it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.

and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.

"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."

"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."

#it's almost as if you spent your entire life fucking denying us things and then get mad when god forbid #we point out that you've been denying us something #writeblr #almost as if . u ACTUALLY think women dream of being in a male-run society #like dude mostly i dream about not having a tummy ache #love when ppl tell me that men have to deal with more rejection than women do #im like. just say u have never had a hard day in ur fucking life. if u think the most difficult experience is getting turned down at a bar #men: this one movie doesn't suck my entire - #women: yeah so i went to the doctor and was bleeding out of my eyeballs but like the doctor said #it was probably just my time of the month i guess? #anyway so i died there and had to be revived but they think i faked dying bc it was hysterics #so i took 3 advil and now im back at work i guess

[avoidingdestiny]

What I love about Threshold is it’s a Tom Paris Daddy Issues episode, and at the end he isn’t even upset that his own children got left behind. Gotta love unaware men continuing the cycle.

#Tom Paris is such a loser #He’s my favorite Voyager character for that exact reason #Watched it with my friend last night and said there’s no way that for Paris’s entire life #People we’re saying he was destined to achieve great things #The dude is a goof and there’s no way anyone took him that seriously #See also: the EMH is my favorite person for Paris to share scenes with #Star Trek VOY #VOY #Threshold #Threshold Day #*were saying

[whenyouwishuponastar7]

I told someone there would be an ER bracelet picture a few days ago and I'm glad manipulative liars all work in the same, predictable ways. I have nothing nice to say as I'm enraged that she thinks she'll be welcomed back here and doesn't think she's done anything, let alone apparently has nothing to apologize for. She said a lot, but very little, and what little there was only asked for you to feel sorry for her. Oh, and what makes her happy. Do not give her your sympathy or pity because Apple has done nothing but seek those when she knows she has fucked up. I have seen so many screenshots of her begging for pity and sympathy as she twists situations to her advantage. DO. NOT. GIVE. IT. TO. HER. She has done FAR worse than what's been posted and she fucking knows it. Her ER story is filled with red flags and is bereft of key information. I say that as someone who has been there and as someone who has been in ERs countless times because of my health issues. Apple is, and always will be, the biggest victim in her eyes. Nothing she says or does is wrong and if you have a problem with it, oh well, she'll get someone else to attack you. I hope those people are few and far between now. I don't care if I seem callous about this. I'm looking at an abusive, gaslighting, manipulative, ableist, transphobic (and worse) liar only continuing the same patterns and I hope you all are as well. The stories people have shared about her abhorrent behavior aren't less important because Apple said she had to go to the ER and needs therapy now. Guess what I've done in therapy? Discussed Apple's affect on my mental health from August until now. I don't want her making our fandom unsafe. Too many people are still scared of her and this will only make them more frightened. And that's a damn shame. The only thing I wish for her to do is be honest. If she doesn't want to own this or even apologize here, fine. But if she goes to therapy, I wish for her sake that she is honest, so she gets help and stops being such a cruel person. Apple, get the help you need. But don't come back to all of the people you harmed. I can't count them on two hands anymore and that's just those of us who have shared our stories; others haven't. We don't want you here.

#harringrove #billy fandom #I'm sorry but she made my life a living hell for five months and took a lot from me lmao while slandering me the entire time #she has said worse about my friends #done worse #she is not a good person and that post is manipulative #just like everything else has been #and it's a wonder that it pops up hours after she was named #on the day the person who made it possible for ALL of us to have voices shared their story #hmm

[moon-icarus]

i left and no one said goodbye, they just closed the door behind me

unknown / calling a wolf a wolf - kaveh akbar / what i could never confess without some bravado - emily palermo / thoughts of an artist - rubesacline on tiktok / arpanmondal270 on reddit / shane madej / sweetstove on twitter / uraa_q on twitter / cellbit's stream - 8.28.23 / 1154 - asofterworld / "you're gonna go far", noah kahan / "what was i made for?", billie eilish / google / cellbit's stream - 8.28.23 / unknown / "can't catch me now", olivia rodrigo / cellbit's stream - 8.28.23 / flavarrshop on twitter / sweetstove on twitter / unknown (im so sorry pls tell me the artist if you know) / cellbit's stream - 8.28.23 / cellbit's stream - 8.28.23

#again if anyone can find that artist it would be greatly appreciated #this took so long i like it but omg #anyway memory/hope still holds a super special place in my heart even after all this time #the tragedy of knowing they would have been loved #they were so alone their entire life and only in death they were loved #to be that alone and still have a bit of hope of one day seeing the sun #qsmp #qsmp memory #qsmp hope #egg A1 #memory egg #qsmp memory egg #cellbit #qsmp eggs #webweaving #qsmp webweaving #icarus webweaving

[planetsallalign]

The finished product for those that have been wondering. I know for next time a lot of things I would do differently and tweak.

#but I finished it! in all it took maybe 3 days #and I’ve used an iron doing this project more than I have in my entire life 😂

[oceanwithouthermoon]

kubosai... save me...

kubosai

save me kubosai

#let me be so real #i really miss the feeling i had when i first joined tdlosk tumblr and scrolled the entire kubosai tag #like it took me some time to get through all the (tagged) kubosai tumblr posts and ao3 fics #i miss that so bad. #what was i even doing in the days i was fixating on kubosai but hadnt even downloaded this app yet #anyway.. #i know i can make my own content but im so bad at getting it done #i might start posting wips on here to motivate myself to actually finish them for ao3.. #idk #i have a LOT of wips... #lots of fics and a few drawings #i wish i could just finish and share them with u guys but im so. my brain. my brain is empty. #every time i think im gonna have motivation to finish i fic i just end up starting a new wip ??? UGHHHH #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #kuboyasu aren #kubosai #meows post

[marauderskeeper]

Note to future self, NEVER EVER EVERRRR AGAIN WILL YOU TAKE DAD OR ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS TO SEE A MOVIE IF THE CAST IS HOT AS FUCK. IM NOT JOKING ELIZABETH. NEVER AGAIN. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

*not my tiktok, but I just had to share that this wasn’t even the main scene that nearly sent me out of my seat 🙇🏾‍♀️*

To Miles Teller and the rest of the cast, you & your agents should be held responsible for the wear and tear my heart and soul took while watching this MASTERPIECE.

Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be hunting down some much needed content of my loves ✌🏾

#ellie rambles #I took my dad to see “Top Gun: Maverick” as an early Father’s Day gift and MY GOSH #I DON’T THINK I HAVE EEEVVVEERRRR EXERCISED SO MUCH SELF CONTROL IN MY ENTIRE 22 YEARS OF LIFE #please yall #when I tell you they are SO FINE #SCRUMP-DILLY-IOUS #rooster & bob & hangman & phoenix & fanboy & payback & coyote #miles teller #lewis pullman #glen powell #monica barbaro #danny ramirez #jay ellis #greg tarzan davis #Top Gun: Maverick #top gun: maverick cast #Miles had a claim on my heart forever ago but times changed. and now we’re back on that train lmao #GLEN POWELL SIR. WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. YOU ALREADY HAVE A CLAIM ON MY HEART. SO STOP STAKING MORE #LEWIS PULLMAN. yes. so much YES #and then Danny Ramirez…. sir i am speechless #Monica literally showed up and stole my heart #and Jay and Tarzan… you two FINE gentlemen complete the cake that is this BOMB squad #akdkfnsjs I love them so much #but fr I’m so glad I got to experience this movie with my dad (even if I just wanted to melt into a puddle while fawning over the cast 🥴) #I grew up watching all the classics with him and solo movies & continued movies have always kinda been our thing

[moeblob]

I named the plot "guess I'll marry the demon lord?" and I realized if I wanted a lengthier title it could be "I could conquer the world if I had ADHD medicine but I don't so I became a trophy husband instead". And then as I'm giving him various background traits I realized one little piece of information would make everything make sense. He's from Florida.

#my characters #i love reynold so much and he is so wonderful and he somehow manages to win the demon lords heart in a week #and the biggest problem the demon lord even has with him is that his outer appearance does not match his core #and it gives him a headache from the echo so hes like #are you cursed to be in that body cause i can revert you if you want...? #and hes like oh yeah sure thatd be great #and then they get engaged #and reynold is like .... completely enamored with his life and his husband in this weird world #listen i have so many emotions over reynold and sascha ok they are so good for each other #the demon lord acts as the florida mans impulse control and it just works somehow #also reynold wants to adopt the entire demon army and starts to refer to them as their children #anyway long day at work today and i gotta work tomorrow for a tiny bit and so i cant do fanart tonight #since i kinda .... took too long with this oops sorry

[crttvset]

i didnt have a recent drawing of trish but pretend shes xanax perscription

#the other day when i was playing with narancia and he was blogging and whatnot i took a gay test as him and he got probably bisexual #also i have trouble spelling perscription i had trouble spelling it 5 times and then i spelled it right and then the draft didnt saved and #tumblr deleted my entire post so i was just like Fuck it you get fausty illiterate spelling #it should be written how its pronounced but maybe also im a beaner whos second language is english and cant pronounce the word right for #the life of me

[wistaliia]

first (real) date !!

#i forget which trs song this was oopsie #my hc is that jamie & cove were 'together' but not allowed to go out until high school so theyre like 14 or 15 here #jamie got their eyebrow scar the same day so they spent their entire first date with a bandage on their forehead #our life #our life beginnings and always #cove holden #jamie last #gb patch games #my art #WAIT i rember >:0 it was life in pink !! #the tie dye was fun but it took forever :')

[coccolithophore]

well at least i’m recovered from my cancer treatment enough that i can literally run away from my problems

#the lack of support my family gave me during my cancer treatment is also on my mind #like i know they felt bad but pigeon took care of me every day #i really could have used rides to appointments and emotional support from them #so the entire burden didn’t fall on my partner #but alas even literal cancer wasn’t enough to make them think about my feelings #or get past their OWN feelings about my life being in danger to get over it and make emotional sacrifices for me #*drags my hands down my face* #like that’s the main thing with them #they Do love me and they Do care but nobody can get past their own issues enough #to make any type of emotional effort for me if it makes them uncomfortable #vs that’s been expected of me since the moment my stupid dad died #sorry lol #not really sure what to do with all these feelingd after Scaling a Mountain #perhaps eat a meal? #part of this is probably because they wouldn’t know how to emotionally function if i kicked the bucket so they can’t even think about it #ok maybe that’s dramatic but i’m very mad rn

[superbellsubways]

2-3 am showers before sleep can fix you... trust

#It always works with me i end up having the best sleeps of my life i wake up soooo refreshed and i feel like that through the entire day #ijist took one imgoing to mimis like a newborn baby #night showers are peak i will never understand the appeal of morning or afternoon showers (lives with other people)

[sonego]

guys i'm so happy fsjdjdvhfvj some representatives of one of our clients at work, a big client, came to visit our offices today and i was tasked with like sort of introducing our office/work space/how we work etc since i work with their documents a lot and stuff and i was a bit Oh My God I'm Gonna Die but . apparently i did well 😭 the client told the higher ups they were impressed by my "positive energy" and also they liked my smile ???? i was like UH WHAT. ME????? and yeah Me . i'm so fjfjdjfrvh

#IT'S SO NICE TO BE APPRECIATED #like fjvmdkdvj #and being told that people from [REDACTED] like my smile i so surreal like fjvkdjfgb #also!! it's a small thing in the grand scheme of things probably but #i was wearing my palestine necklace the entire time (i always do unless i leave it somewhere else accidentally) #and we even took a pic - the client and our whole office - and i was standing in the front (i'm short lmao) with my necklace right there #and idk. it means something to me. i hope they noticed it i hope it made them think of palestine even for a minute. #i hope everyone thinks of palestinian people even in the middle of their busy life bc i personally carry every single palestinian story i #have heard or read about in all these years with me every day every thing i do everywhere i go #nico.txt

[seventh-district]

so was anyone gonna tell me that Neil Newbon is the VA for Astarion or was i gonna have to find that out myself when he suddenly started uploading his playthrough of the game on YT

#Seven.txt #viddy game stuff #bg3 #astarion #like??? as soon as i saw it i was like OH OF COURSE IT’S YOU!!! #like. i only have a surface level of knowledge abt Astarion from passively consuming other’s posts abt being obsessed w/ him online #but i can tell that if i ever actually took the time i’d probably be rlly into the character #okay so Full Transparency- this post and the prior few tags have been siting in my drafts for the past 12 days #and i know Neil has been uploading his playthrough since even further back but i am late to everything okay it's how i am #and anyways in that time i have watched hours upon hours of Astarion scene compilation videos on YT #and i can now confirm- yes i am Really into the character lmao. like. Severely into the character #like. i'm-making-a-playlist-for-him-and-its-already-got-50-songs-on-it level of Into Him. it's over for me boys there's no turning back #i'm fixated. there's no saving me #like i have never dungeoned a dragon ever before in my entire life but this fucking man. #this man is making me wanna drop $60 and 150gb of my PC's storage space on a game i have no idea how to play #i think it could make for a fun recording experience. but idk if i'll actually do it. i'll sit on the idea for a while first #but Astarion's existence and the sickass character creation is calling my name. i think... it could be a fun time #not like i literally even have the time to dump into a massive game like that but i waaaant to. i kinda want to #anyways Seven found a new traumatized little blorbo to fawn over everybody watch out. a reblog storm may cometh #they couldn't have cast someone better for Astarion i stg #Seven stop falling in love with the characters Neil Newbon voices/acts as challenge FAILED #lmao now i'm thinking about putting BG3 Astarion and RE8 Heisenberg in a room together. could u fucking imagine #talk about taking the whole vampires vs werewolves thing to another level #Astarion isn't a True vampire and Heisenberg isn't even a fucking werewolf and that makes it so much funnier to me #just two old fucked up somewhat non-human guys. i'm genuinely trying to picture them interacting. how would it go #anyways i have been awake for 30 hours with only a 1hr nap in the middle. and i have just eaten a sinful amount of spaghetti #and am currently riding the high of finally having posted ch4 of ES. with no big responsibilities tomorrow. and so u know what time it is #time to be insane on tumblr until i pass out

[szampers]

Personal notes from before the szpd epiphany nr. 1: on maintaining online correspondences. More info in tags

sometimes I want to be alone. Arguably way too often. A break from online interaction too, that at its core is people interaction too.

Connection, in whatever kind of form, is far better than total isolation. The benefits outweigh the bad, though that too isn't pleasant to endure. I keep thinking about returning to my original state of isolation.

Going off for a break is fine. But what if you don't come back? they could be on my mind for the entire duration, yet I don't reply to them or share whatever it is that I've been up to. It's probably the maintenance which is the hardest part.

#this is me being conflicted about keeping correspondences with online friends. #i had a certain rigid mentality of either i ditch them entirely or i keep interacting witht them at the expense of myself #it was rather hard for me to tell them i needed space for myself in a way that'd have them understand #good thing we have moved past that now !! a friend told me he wanted to take some distance off his phone and i co opted that #thing is. he didn't stick with it. but i did !! #the first few days i was off discord i felt awful as i wasn't used to being alone anymore. i was confronted with how empty my life was #more than anything i was forced to recognize how much I'd been using discord as a means of escapism. and how much i was consumed by it #that definitely did distract me from issues i should've tackled head on sooner. i did find out about szpd only after i took distance #made a few other epiphanies so it's all well worth it #rambling #schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder

[liferetainsitssparkle]

op/la is a really good case study for adapting a work while engaging meaningfully with a quarter of its themes

#or #like im having fun it's obvious the writers Care about the source material but what did you do to these people #op as like. A Work is really invested in community and opla has almost 0 of that. thats the big one #and like the changes they made to nami's backstory are SO bonkers to me. i feel like it was an attempt to give her more agency #but it didnt work because what you've effectively done is written a town that decided to turn their backs on a child #like no joke i think about genzo wearing that pinwheel on his hat for all eight years every day of my life #we;re not even gonna TALK about what they did to garp. grarpa. my beloathed but not like that #or that fucking. BARTENDER. imagine fucking snitching on COOK CAPTAIN ZEFF'S KID that man is DEAD NOW #(i complain about the don krieg fight CONSTANTLY but it MEANS something to the narrative and he's GONE) #also as a side note that isnt really a side note the fact that they cut hatchi entirely is SO weird he's like. THE guy #AND LUFFY.... they took away his DUPLICITY. his INTENTIONAL RUDENESS. he has the uncanny ability to laser focus on ppls #Problems and if he likes you he'll be rude in an intentional way and if he hates you he'll be rude in a Different intentional way