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astrozones · 4 years

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Sanders Behavioral Health, Chapter 1: Virgil Starts Freaking Out More Than Usual

Trigger warning: mental health stuff. Major mental health stuff. For the whole fic.

Group Therapy AU. Prinxiety and Logicality eventually.

Three hours.

Three goddamn hours of his life dedicated to therapy. Every. Single. Day.

Except weekends. At least he still had his weekends.

When his father had told him of the “amazing” news, Virgil was seriously rethinking going back to his old family.

Coming from an abusive home to a place where others cared about him was jarring, to say the least. Parts of it he adored. Not being punished for coming home a couple minutes late? He couldn’t say he wasn’t grateful. But since his time at his new family’s house, he had been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and a hint of OCD. And when his parents put him in therapy for the first time, he found it dull, but a good escape from his bad thoughts.

But when his therapist suggested Sanders Behavioral Health, he was apprehensive. Even more so when she told him that three hours of his day would be dedicated to working on his anxiety. His social anxiety, mostly. Virgil had stared at her in disgust, why would he ever want to go there? Why would he want to go somewhere that would give him more anxiety, on purpose, rather than stay at home scrolling through YouTube?

He was even more disgusted when his adoptive father had happily agreed to look into it.

Yes, Virgil wanted to get better. God, he wanted to get better so bad, to be away from the thoughts that plagued his mind. That’s what he told himself, at least.

Maybe he didn’t want to get better. Maybe he wanted to stay in his room all day because that was what he was used to. He was content at this stage, and so what if he was destroying his future and the potential for happiness? He was here now and he was content, wasn’t that good enough?

He would never say that to his therapist. If he did, she would tell his dad, who would in turn tell his mom, and they’d worry about him more. If this was the life he had to live, then so be it.

So here he was, in the lobby room of the building he had dreaded coming to since they made the first call to get him into this institute. He hunched over in his hoodie, idly scrolling through his phone, trying to collect his thoughts. What if he made a mistake? What if it turned out he had been faking it this whole time and they got mad? What if he did something embarrassing? Oh, god, what if they hated him? What if-

The lobby door slammed open. Virgil jumped in his seat, his father gently putting a hand on his shoulder. In stepped a boy that looked just about the same age as himself. Oh, for the love of-

“I HAVE REETUUURNED~,” the boy sung, arms spread as wide as he could with a binder in his hands. “No need to fear, your Prince is here!” Virgil pursed his lips.

“Yeah, ‘prince’, my ass.” he mumbled, looking back down at his phone. The boy spluttered indignantly, to Virgil’s confusion. That wasn’t even a good insult, so why was the boy getting mad at him? Oh god, oh shit, I already made an enemy-

“Roman, please just sign in.” The front desk lady said with a small smile. The boy, or rather, Roman, blushed, with an “oh, right” as he did as he was told.

Roman slumped down in a seat, turning to the only other kid in the room.

“So, Mr. Professionalism, I know it’s only my second proper day here, but what’s with the tie? You wear it every day or somethin’?” Roman’s posture remained slouched and easy-going, the opposite to the other, who was indeed wearing a tie. Tie guy’s posture was pristine and collected, his face not revealing any emotion, except a slight glare.

“I do not. I wear a different tie every day. It is unsanitary to wear the same thing every day. And when I sleep, I change into the proper wear. I would also like to point out that it’s pronounced some thing . With a g. Proper pronunciation is important, lest you confuse someone who is not as knowledgeable with our language. And my name, is Logan. Thank you.” Logan, apparently, finished his monologue with hardly a change in expression. Both Virgil and Roman looked a bit disoriented.

“Allllrighty,” Roman started, ignoring Logan’s hiss of “it’s pronounced al right ”, “Welp, glad to see I’m not the only one who’s early! Don’t you think the weather is great today? So sunny!”

“I do not wish to engage in small talk.” Logan said, returning to his book. Roman blinked at this, his head darting back a bit. He quickly returned to his confident persona and turned to Virgil.

Oh no , was his only thought before he was forced into conversation.

“SOO, Emostein, what’s your opinion on the weather? Since Necktie over there refuses to be nice, that is.” Roman said with a flourish of his hand.

What was he supposed to say? That he never went outside enough to appreciate the weather? That he would rather not say anything? That this whole thing was pushing him to the verge of a panic attack?

So, instead, he murmured, “Emostein?”. Goddamn it, that was dumb-

“Why yes! Like Frankenstein, but judging by your apparel, I had assumed you were emo and listen to My Chemical Romance all day. Am I wrong in this?”

Virgil shoved his head in his hands, blushing from embarrassment. “Ugh, no, you’re not. You don’t need to point it out, though…” He grumbled. God, he hated social situations. Even if it distracted him from the anxiety surrounding this new therapy group.

Whether he had bad luck, or the fates hated him, he couldn’t decide as the door to the rest of the building opened in perfect irony.

“Virgil?” The woman called with a smile. He hugged his few items closer to him as he stood up, making his way through the entrance. He glanced back at the lobby, where yet another kid was entering.

Then, the door was closed.

The woman introduced herself as Rebecca, or Becca for short. She led him on a quick tour of the building before the others were scheduled to come in, something he was grateful for. The place was smaller than he expected. She led him through the cafeteria (a cafeteria? what?), the doors of a couple staff, the bathroom, the check-up room, and the individual rooms. The individual rooms, as she explained, were for when you needed to focus on an ‘exposure’ and couldn’t handle distractions from other people.

Virgil quickly decided he liked these rooms.

Becca let him choose a room, and had him write his name on the whiteboard in front of it. As he did, he heard the entrance door open and a loud voice groan out, “UGHH, but I don’t wanna go in yet!”. Uh oh, people alert! He quickly slipped into the room, Becca joining him soon after.

“While you’re in this program,” she started. “you will be doing exposures, which means you’ll be directly facing the anxiety. It’ll be tough, but the goal is, when you get out of the program, you’re more used to these situations, and when you encounter them, you don’t freak out as much.” At that, she smiled, as if she hadn’t just diminished his already depressed mood.

“Does that sound good?” Becca continued, tilting her head to the side. Virgil stared at her as if she just told him the Sun was purple (not that he would mind that… purple was a very nice color.).

“Not really,” came his reply. “sounds terrible.”

Becca’s smile became just a little more stressed.

“I get your point, but I disagree. See, here and now, you’re not okay. Do you agree?” she stated flatly, and at his small nod, continued, “It’s because you’ve been in this slump for too long. It’s ruining your mood, and unless you do something about it, it’ll just get worse. If you want to get better, you have to do something about it.”

Virgil sighed. Yes, he understood, but he had the right to dislike this.

Becca explained a few more things about the program before handing him a small stack of papers and leaving him to mull over in his silent suffering.

He doodled in between the questions he had just answered as he waited for Becca to come back. Just the classic questions, ‘What do you want to work on while here at Sanders?’, ‘How would you describe your average mood?’, ‘What is (or are) your diagnosis?’, etc.. He glanced at the clock. 5 minutes. He tapped his foot. Fiddled with his hoodie strings. Kicked at the wall. 10 minutes. Hm.

Sanders Behavioral Health had a rule against phones being in the building, for privacy reasons… but, taking a glance around, he couldn’t see any cameras. And he had snuck his phone in by slipping it into his boots when no one was looking. Then there was the fact that no one was in the room with him…

Whipping out his phone, he quickly found a position where his phone was hidden enough that the average passerby wouldn’t notice and opened it up. What to do, what to do…

He scrolled through Tumblr, and responded to a few messages on Discord. He was in the middle of typing one out when there was a knock on the door.

Jumping, Virgil quickly turned to the door while desperately trying to hide his phone. He couldn’t fit in past his shoe in time, could he hide it in his hoodie so the visitor wouldn’t see it? Think fast befo-

The door opened, a stranger walking in. The stranger smiled.

“Hello! I’m Nurse Vicki. You’re Virgil, right? I need you for just a moment so we can do checkups, if you’ll come with me!” Vicki grinned, holding the door open wider. Virgil slid the phone into his hoodie pocket. There was a chance of it being noticed, but it would have to do.

When brought into the nurse’s office, she sat him down and started asking questions.

Are you suicidal? Yes.

Are you going to school regularly? No.

Are you eating healthy? Probably not.

And on, and on, and on, until finally, she took him to track his weight and vitals, and escorted him back to his room. Still no Becca.

The second Nurse Vicki left, Virgil quickly took his phone out and situated it where it wasn’t easily visible in his boot. Yes, it did rub against his foot painfully, but that was just the price he’d have to pay. Without his phone, he felt even more anxious. He knew it was stupid, but what if he got a call? What if he got hurt? What if someone else got hurt? Virgil needed the phone, and if that included sacrificing his comfort, he would do it.

Now, what was he supposed to do? 20 minutes had passed. He studied the vandalism done in pencil on the wall, but that quickly got boring.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

He drummed his fingers on the table.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

He thought about what he was going to do tomorrow- wait, no, that gave him more anxiety.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Sighing, he leaned back and studied the ceiling. Maybe he could fall asleep here. Or maybe he’d just get in trouble for that.

After what seemed like ages, Becca returned. Gathering up the papers, she led him outside the room.

“We aren’t going to start anything today, but I’ll show you the timers and computers. Here’s the check in sheet for them,” she motioned to the top of the computer cart, a basket with multiple stopwatches in it next to the sheets. “and the top row of computers are assessment computers, while the bottom are normal computers. Today, you’ll be getting an assessment computer.”

Stepping aside, she let him check out a computer. As he was writing down his name, another person came in from a second hallway. The loud boy from before- Roman?- glanced in their direction before doing a double take. Cringing slightly, Virgil prepared for Roman to burst out with a loud “hello!”.

Only Roman did nothing of the sort. Once Becca greeted him, he motioned awkwardly to the timer in his hands before walking down the hallway and turning into a staff’s room.

O ...kay?

He may not have known Roman for long, but that seemed entirely uncharacteristic. Pursing his lips, he finished filling out the sheet as Becca and him walked back. Well, almost. Becca stopped in her office for a split second before returning with a binder and a dazzling smile. Virgil sunk into his jacket with a ‘dazzling’ scowl.

Back inside the room, Becca gave him the binder and led him through all that it entailed, before signing him into the assessment computer. And once more, Becca left him to fill out the assessments alone.

Which was fantastic.

Another round of repetitive questions he’d answered a thousand times before-

In the past 7 days how often have you not able to stop feeling sad? Often.

--felt alone? Always.

--feel everything in your life went wrong? Always.

--feel like you can’t do anything right? Often.

--it was hard for you to have fun? Always.

He supposed a lot of this came from his past family. And, geez, these were not nice memories to go through. But being pushed around and starved for days on end was bound to take a toll on you, and it sure as hell did in the case of Virgil. It was part of the reason he wore hoodies all the time, to hide the- the- oh god he was not ready to think about this right now.

Shaking his head, Virgil returned to the questions, feeling worse than he had. He felt a tear trying to surface and quickly closed his eyes. Not here , he thought. Not now, I can’t. They’ll make fun of me for it.

And yeah, maybe it was illogical to worry about being made fun of for crying in a literal therapy building, but maybe Virgil wasn’t thinking quite right at that point. Maybe he wasn’t thinking quite right often.

Or maybe he was just stupid.

The last time Becca returned to his individual room was to bring him out to the cafeteria for something called ‘recreational therapy’ which included doing “fun things” with the other patients.

Great.

After putting away his computer, he was instructed to leave his new binder in the cafeteria and to bring a pen or pencil with him.

He didn’t have either and had to ask someone else for it. Oh, god…

Dodging around the others in the cafeteria, he made his way back to Becca and quietly asked for a pen, and, to his disappointment, didn’t get one. He turned around to face the 3 other patients, forced to consider the options as to who might have a goddamn pen.

The others were all the people he had seen in the waiting room earlier. Only one of them he hadn’t really gotten to know, which was the boy in light blue. He was talking to the loud one, ugh, what was his name again… Roman! Yes, he was talking to Roman. Listening in on their conversation he found that they were talking about… dogs? Well, Light Blue was nearly screaming about dogs while Roman was looking a little bewildered at just how loud this boy was about dogs. Which only left Tie Guy, Logan, to ask. If he didn’t have one, Virgil would have to walk out and ask a staff, so asking the scary one it was.

Glancing towards his binder, Virgil saw that he had 3 pens next to it, black, red, and blue. Bingo!

“Hey uh,” he started once he reached Logan. “Um, can I… uh, sorry, can I borrow a pen? Please?”

Logan’s gaze jerked towards Virgil, then back to his pens. “No,” he stated bluntly. “I only have one black pen. As you can see. ”

“But… I could just… use the red or blue one? I don’t really care that much about colors…” Virgil, to say the least, was hella confused. What was this kid’s deal? First the whole tie thing, now Virgil wasn’t able to use one of his three pens? There was no need to be so rude.

“No, you can’t. Red is for spelling errors and blue is for grammar errors. Everyone knows that. You cannot just use a red or blue pen for normal writing!” Logan nearly growled out. Virgil took a few steps back, was it okay for him to be around this guy?! Was he safe?

He felt a tap on his shoulder and nearly jumped out of his skin. Whipping around, he was faced with Light Blue holding a pen. He let out a sigh of relief.

“Heyo! I’m Patton,” Light Blue said. “I couldn’t help but hear your conversation, so sorry for interrupting, but I have a free pen you could use instead! It’s no big deal to me!” Patton’s smile was nearly blinding as he held the pen out. Grabbing the pen, Virgil felt a little… unnerved. Maybe it was just the anxiety talking, but this guy seemed way too nice to be here. Maybe he was just about to leave the program?

“Uh, thanks.” Was the only thing he said in response before retreating to the corner of the room. He could see Becca hovering around the computer before telling them she would be back in a second.

Well ain’t that just fucking great .

“Ooh, scandalous~!” Roman yelled as Becca went to leave the room. “Leaving a bunch of teens unsupervised? Didn’t take ya for the type.” Virgil looked at him. If he remembered correctly, Roman had said this was his second day. So, why was he so… extroverted? He, along with Patton, didn’t really feel like they belonged in this group. Patton seemed too bright and happy, and Roman seemed too loud and confident.

“You is not pronounced ‘ya’.” Logan huffed. Roman turned to him looking a bit confused.

“It’s… not that different, though?”

“Every little thing matters, Roman. I’ve explained this to you before, so why do you continue to lack the capacity to understand it?” Roman spluttered at this, the insult obviously getting to him.

“I was just telling you my opinion, and you don’t need to… insult me over it! Believe it or not, I don’t like being called stupid!” Roman spat out.

Uh oh.

“I did not call you stupid. It seems as if you came to that conclusion yourself, yet I will not deny it.”

“ You implied it you-”

Before Roman could finish, Becca, in all her glory, opened the door and invited them to follow her. Well, maybe invited wasn’t the correct term, but Virgil was well on his way to a massive anxiety attack and couldn’t give a shit.

Once Becca had led them outside and had them all introduce themselves, she gave them a simple two-sided sheet of paper.

“Today, we’re going to be doing a people scavenger hunt! On the paper, there’s a bunch of questions, and it’s your job to find someone who fits the criteria! Once you do, they should sign your paper. Try not to use the same person for most of the questions! Sounds great, don’t you agree?”

“Yay.” Virgil muttered unenthusiastically, curling into his hoodie when both Roman and Patton turned to him.

“Miss Becca, there are four of us. Statistically speaking, it is unlikely for us to be able to fill out the entirety of this sheet, especially with questions like the 13th, which says ‘Someone who has red hair.’ As you can see, none of us have red hair. I must recommend that you reprint this paper with questions we can properly answer.” Logan attempted to smooth down his hair in the wind as he spoke, his paper resting on a clipboard, because of course Logan had prepared himself with a clipboard while the rest of them had to combat the wind attempting to blow their papers away.

“It’s okay, Logan,” Becca smiled sweetly. “You don’t need to answer all the questions before we go back in.”

“Yes I do, or the assignment is incomplete!”

Smile dropping, Becca motioned for the others to start as she turned to talk to Logan. And with that, Virgil was forced to communicate with the last two.

Already, Patton and Roman seemed to be chatting, which left Virgil to awkwardly stand by while they filled the paper out. Virgil could feel his breathing quickening, why did Logan have to be picky? He could be talking to him, which would be better than just standing here with nothing to do!

Roman turned to him once he had gotten the paper signed, smiling slightly at him before skimming his eyes through the paper. Wait, he took it back, he wasn’t ready to talk yet oh no-

“Do youuu….. Like mint ice cream?” Roman asked, looking up from his paper with a smile. Silently, Virgil nodded. After signing the paper Roman gave to him, Roman stayed, looking expectantly at him. What? Oh! He’s expecting a question quick choose one!!!

Looking at his own paper, Virgil chose the first question his eyes landed on.

“Do you, um. Do you speak another language?” He stuttered out. Roman brightened.

“¡Sí! Hablo español.” Roman was bouncing on his heels, grinning impossibly larger. At Virgil’s dubious stare, he seemed to deflate, a small blush growing on his cheeks. “Sorry, uh, yes, I speak Spanish.”

As Virgil handed him the paper, he had more time to stand awkwardly. Roman had hoisted his leg up and was now balancing precariously on one leg while writing against the other one. His tongue poked out from between his teeth as he tried to not fall over.

Roman had green eyes. While Virgil didn’t usually make eye contact, he couldn’t help but notice while this kid was right in front of him . Virgil had always adored green eyes in people, they may be more rare but they were so pretty and-

Roman glanced up at him, and Virgil quickly flushed. “Do you want me to fill out the green eyes question, too? I’m pretty sure I’m the only one of us who has green eyes, so… y’know… while I’m here, might as well, yea?”

All Roman saw was Virgil’s small nod, which Virgil was grateful for as his mind was screaming at the current moment.

Is this guy psychic what the hell how’d he know EXACTLY what I was thinking??? What???? No, Virge, calm down, he can’t be psychic- BUT WHAT IF HE IS????

Once Virgil got his paper back, he turned once more and was suddenly face-to-face with Patton’s smile.

“Heya kiddo! Have you been on a boat ride?” At Virgil’s shake of his head, he continued. “Hm, okay, have you been to a park in the past few months?

On and on the activity went. Surprisingly, Virgil quickly found himself actually enjoying the activity. Roman and Patton were easy to talk to, if slightly disorienting to the extreme introvert.

Unfortunately, the universe seemed to hate him, because after about 10 questions with the others, Logan stormed back into the building, leaving Becca alone. Becca sighed.

“Sorry guys, but I legally can’t leave him or you without a guardian, so if you could follow me please we will go back inside.”

Back inside, Becca took them to the cafeteria, where Logan already was, meticulously rearranging his binder. When Becca approached him, he hissed out, “I will NOT be doing an assignment where I am forced to fail.”

The three looked at each other, Patton seeming to be the only one who knew what was happening. He gave them a sad smile.

“Logan came here before me, but he told me he has extreme OCD. Basically, he gets anxiety when things don’t go the way his mind tells him they have to.” Patton whispered to them. “I think he has a sort of… fear of failing, so he gets the bad feelings when he can’t finish an assignment. Well, more bad feelings than the average person.”

That made sense, Virgil supposed. While he was told he had a bit of OCD, he wasn’t exactly briefed on all the ins and outs, only diagnosed with it. So he had no definitive answer as to what exactly it was, but from what he had heard, that seemed to fit with the behavior Logan was showing.

A couple minutes passed, Virgil tapping his foot aimlessly. He stared at the ground as Logan continued to bicker, and as Becca desperately tried to calm him down. Eventually, Roman spoke up and told Becca that it was check-out time, which apparently entailed them filling out a sheet of paper before they were able to leave.

Thankfully, Becca told Virgil that he didn’t have to fill a check-out sheet today, which left him awkwardly tapping his pen against the table. He noticed Roman doodling in a blank space on the paper, mouthing the lyrics to a song Virgil couldn’t decipher. Patton was watching the clock after he had finished, which left Logan to be the only one still filling out the sheet.

Once they were finally blessed with the absence of silence in the form of Becca loudly exclaiming that they could start sharing aloud and dear God would Virgil have to do that tomorrow? They were finally allowed to leave.

After signing out and riding the elevator down, with all the other patients and their parents in the cramped space, they finally exited the building.

“So, what’d you think?” His dad asked as they walked to the car. Virgil simply shrugged in response.

And maybe, Virgil enjoyed it a little bit, just a little bit. But he wasn’t going to admit it after he claimed so adamantly that he would hate it the days prior.

The ride home was spent with Virgil telling his online friends what had happened in therapy that day, a task that would quickly become routine in his days at Sanders.

And maybe, just maybe, he was feeling a little bit better at returning the next day.

Maybe.

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blankdblank · 5 years

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Anaticula Pt 4

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 -

Bonding with Snape a bit in this one :D And some Hagrid fluff :D

Course then the Ministry comes calling and off to Azkaban we go for the Malfoys to save the day! Intro for Little Draco too!

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Off to lunch you went ready to eat finally. Halfway you grinned at a familiar arm looping around your shoulders under your ponytail. A tilt of your head brought Charlie into view as he purred, “Off visiting Mum?”

“I will tell you about that later. Oh, apparently my detention got switched to Choir practice.” Charlie snorted and your pinched his side making him squirm away chuckling as you eased out of his hold only for him to hurry up and wrap his arm around you again, “Not funny.”

“You have an incredible voice.”

“And terrible stage fright.”

Bill joined him swinging his arm around your lower back, “Ah don’t tease Jaqi. I’m sure we can think of something to get you out of it.”

Back at the long tables you sat and grinned as Cedric joined your side eagerly sharing about the people he’d met and the few portraits he’d found quite amusing. A bell in the distance chimed and four news bags appeared in the end of the hall with copies of all the student written papers soaring out to each of the students and papers. Each no more than ten pages, some with more animated doodles than others, all stirring quite a commotion until the Hufflepuff paper settled into everyone’s hands ‘Dark Lord – of Lies’ with the line under it reading, ‘An in depth dive into the history of the man declaring war on his long standing Daddy Issues’.

Unable to help it each student read it while Alastor chuckled still at the byline through Dumbledore peering on at you quizzically wondering how you had uncovered so much of his life on your own. At the end of the table Snape poured through the page ready to light on fire thinking you were just like your father, spreading false headlines without the facts, and yet he sat back reading then looked over at you giggling about the page of supposedly impossible Riddles in the Ravenclaw paper. Completely ignoring the Slytherin paper with the front two pages about your being behind their quidditch team being destroyed. Across from you however a Slytherin student you knew from Regulus to be the son of a jailed Death Eater who shouted, “You shouldn’t be talking about You-Know-Who’s past! Never know who you might anger!”

You let out a giggle as Charlie fired back, “Who would be angry? Him or the hundreds who followed believing he’s a pure blood?” Silently the student sat down looking over the facts again before folding it into their pack with a worried expression on his face.

Lunch was done and you were beside Cedric with the twins behind you on the way to which you crossed paths with another Slytherin Death Eater heir who crossed his arms shouting, “What hex did you use on my wand?!”

You shook your head saying, “I didn’t use a hex and it wasn’t on your wand.”

He raised a brow then followed after you angrily, “You will tell me what curse you used!”

You shook your head, “No, I don’t think I will. Look it up.”

He stepped in your way glaring at you, “Tell me how to reverse it! Now!”

You nodded and smirked at him, “Why don’t you try quaking like a duck first.”

Walking around him until he shouted, “Professor Snape!!”

The stunned Professor turned and walked over towards you, uncertain of what was happening now, halted a couple feet away and asked, “Another disagreement? Might I remind you you are both on a month’s detention.”

The boy pointed at you, “She cursed me and won’t tell me how to reverse it!”

Albus neared Snape joining in the group, the latter asking, “And just what are the effects of this curse?”

The boy blushed, “I’d rather not say.”

In a glance at you he caught your grin answering, “Each spell he uses summons a duck. I told him to look it up.”

Boy, “Then you said to quack like a duck!”

Snape glanced at you again with a hint of amusement in his gaze, “That is all?”

You nodded and Albus chuckled saying, “Perhaps, my lad, you should take this as a learning experience. From what I understand you expressed a wish to work in the cursed objects division in the ministry, we have a full library, make use of it and practice for your goal.”

Boy, “Professor?” He glanced between the pair who nodded and turned away.

You grinned at the boy on your way back down the hall catching Snape’s stolen glance your way noting the elements of you reminding him of your mother and aunt Lily.

Potions rolled around and from your taking your seat in the cauldron coated tables beside Cedric you caught the uncertain glance from Professor Snape sent your way once again in his struggle with just who you would most take after between your parents. After his opening speech he gave a wave of his hand to the page number on the board for a challenging potion for first years, especially with the key ingredient he set out on the desks he hoped to test both your knowledge and a secret skill you would have inherited.

Pacing through the aisle he kept watch over each of you and the Ravenclaws you shared class with until a smirk eased onto his lips when he noticed you were nearing the portion of the recipe he knew to be most testing. But with ease you, Cedric and the Twins found a secret step he remembered sharing with Regulus his first year just before you raised the secret ingredient then paused. The curiously weak orange colored snake venom had the Twins glancing at you with their own orange vial as your hand shot up making Cedric glance between you and the Professor curiously.

At the end of your table Snape asked, “Miss Black?”

Your arm lowered, “Professor, our Hammerhead Conundrum Viper Venom is rather weak, would you happen to have any fresher?”

His hand motioned to the cage along the wall sitting from floor to ceiling with a knotted leaf coated tree growing in an odd spiral with overlapping layered branches above. “You may collect more if you so wish, empty vials are in the cupboard beside it.”

You nodded and stood while Cedric’s lips pursed curiously as the classroom fell still and silent watching you walk to the cupboard to collect two vials before unhooking the door on the assumed empty cage. In a duck you passed through it peering up at the tree with leaves now trembling making you whisper, “Hello there beautiful.”

The leaves stilled except for three, the rectangular head on the now visible pale brown snake came into view with raised barbed fins over its head resembling the leaves on the tree making the students able to gasp at the snake three times your size eyeing you curiously. “You can speak!” It looked you up and down again, “And how might I help you?” In a stolen glance up at Snape the twins grinned seeing his smirk while the students whispered about your inherited ability.

“I am sorry to wake you so early, though might I have some of your venom, please?” He nodded and released enough venom for both vials then inched back to his former place disappearing from sight into the leaves after your soft thanks while you crouched and climbed out locking the door behind you. Looking back at the other students you noticed their venoms all being a far more acceptable yellow shade leaving you to understand it had been a test as you mumbled, “Ooh, big shocker, Heir of Slytherin can talk to snakes.”

A few of the Ravenclaw students chortled while another asked, “Can you understand why this one is hissing?”

You looked at her saying, “It’s your perfume, it has the female estrus in it. He’s trying to impress you with his dance.” Making her blush and the girls around her giggle reminding the quarter Veela of her lineage and struggle in keeping boys from focusing on her so much.

Softly she mumbled to herself, “Thanks, Mum…Subtle scent my foot.”

Back at your table you handed the twins the new vial and grinned at Snape who remarked, “Now I see how Regulus has been so successful with his Antivenoms all these years.” Stealing another look over you he turned back to his pacing while you helped Cedric through the proper color charts of Viper Venoms, carrying on as you did until you had the final bottled vials you turned in fully labeled into the slotted holders on the table along the wall. Lingering behind you waited till the room cleared before you met Snape at the door with a timid smile. “Miss Black?”

Inhaling softly you said, “I wanted to thank you again, for last night.” He readied to speak only to fall silent as you added, “I know you and my dad didn’t get along, to put it extremely lightly, and you and mum and aunt Lily had a falling out. But still, thank you. I know all the teachers and some of the ghosts are in a tug of war on who I’ll be most like, but it, I do have my dad’s temper, mum’s stubbornness doesn’t help, but it’s nice to know her best friend here to help me out.”

His lips parted to say, “Lily was her best friend.”

You shook your head giggling weakly, “Lily was her sister, you were her best friend. Could have been more, but it had to be quite hard to pass Lily in looks and personality.” A look of shock and a hint of regret flashed over his face as you added, “Either way I suppose it all worked out, gave dad the time to slowly prove himself. I know it might be a charred bridge but sometime might I ask you questions about her? I can’t exactly go and ask Petunia, she doesn’t really know I’m alive yet.” In a glance at the trio in the hall tapping their watches you smiled at him, “Either way, I’ll let you think about it. See you at dinner Professor.”

In stunned silence he turned to head back to his desk through the next class pouring in as his mind sent him reeling back through the years, Snape could remember his best friends clearly. The only true family he had besides his mother who he had a tattered relationship with for her not being capable to leave his abusive father. All the years he spent running off with the identical duo to explore their secret shared gifts.

And clearly the dark day when he saw the two pure blood students whose eyes locked on the pair and set their gears turning for a trap. James arrogant, self centered and so determined he was the hero of the world by how spoiled he had been raised as a miracle child gifted to his parents late in life. While Sirius acted from pain and pressure from expectations his family had that were shattered in the separation from the family house of Slytherin.

Snape was proud of his friends who sorted into their right places, proud but scared. For Lily most of all. He couldn’t keep her safe there so far away up in that tower with that arrogant ass a hall away while he bunked in the dungeons. Jewelia was safe at least in Ravenclaw where the duo couldn’t creep for their lack of skills for riddles to unlock the door. Yet for all the tries between classes and meals the duo only succeeded in pissing the girls off more and unknowingly egged the duo on to the pranks they hoped would push young Severus to just leave well enough alone and step aside to let them swoop in and be all the girls could ever need.

Though five years in and underneath that tree after having snatched top marks again on the latest exam to prove once more Saint Potter was not the best of the bunch and had been beaten by a half blood no less and the rivalry met its pinnacle. Dangled upside down he knew which of his friends was in the most danger. Finally he snapped and let a slur fly to snap a friendship when she did nothing to stop this and she stormed off to leave him to question the beginnings of another. He hated James, loathed him and wished for the guys to use his time turner to go back and make sure the self righteous prick was never born, but Sirius, he did something Severus never expected.

After having been the one to goad James on for so long sent the Seeker bloody to the ground and lowered confused Severus to the grass to watch with the crowd drawn up as the dark haired teen literally bound and drug his friend off to Professor McGonagall’s office where for the first time the Golden Seeker was thrown off the team with a year of detention and file marked for life after having tried to strip Severus publicly. Finally he had some justice and so many more questions to go with Sirius’ heartfelt apology.

He lost his friends, well, he lost Lily, Jewelia always managed to be around just when he needed her. Just like when they were kids with every thunder storm and blustery day that brought up old memories of home, just as he would always bump into her after he would hide from his drunk father in his rages. They could always calm one another while he never wished to show his fear to Lily. And then somehow he seemed to be dorm mate to Sirius who hid his cot under Regulus’ bed he slept on through the rest of the year after James had locked him out when it was confirmed he was no longer allowed to play Quidditch.

They weren’t friends, but somehow from years of animosity through Jewels and Regulus they had a fragile tolerance of one another compared to the all out shunning James had set off that was amply welcomed by the teen who relished the chance to study more for their OWLS coming up. He never knew why Sirius had turned against his friend who had pulled him from a similarly awful home into a safe one and he never asked or thought to uncertain he wanted to know. Simply at ease that Jewels, while also strained with Lily for having continued to talk to Severus and Sirius in the tug of war between old friendships and sisterhood seemed to be happy she had attentions from both of the guys she held so dear to her while in the timid first steps of a relationship with Sirius after his years of trying to win her over his terrible reputation.

Now he knew, why she asked for his blessing to get serious in their relationship when he showed signs he wanted to settle down with only her and have the family she always wanted now that Lily showed signs there would be rocky summer breaks ahead. Even more so when him and the brothers ended up sharing the other half of a duplex with Andromeda and her boyfriend and small child in a Muggle village when their homes became unbearable and near daily visits from Jewels were a common occurrence. All taking jobs at the record shop that frequently hired teens to fund their independence.

He might have distrusted Sirius still in all but forking over his share of the rent and bills but he had to admit that first time he opened the door to see Jewels out of her disguise to be another Lily when they fell to ears of silence he had to admire how strong Sirius had made her to show her true self, a feat even he couldn’t pull off. A truth now that hurt him even more than the missed affection she harbored for him for so long while he was otherwise distracted by the prodigal Lily. He saw the real her that summer all on her own and helped to harbor the secret of just who her real family was and how badly that hurt and terrified her for what that could have made her had she not been given up.

Sixth year was another war of tolerance and being ignored until James had tried to win back his friend after notice that Remus had refused to cut ties while Severus bounced through the ordeal out of school in a break to bury his father and settle his mother back on solid ground to prove the sky wouldn’t cave in around them. And by the time he came back a new bombshell was dropped and he had to help his friend admit she was expecting to both the father and Professor McGonagall.

He didn’t want to help Sirius but to help her he stayed close and listened while over the break they shared their plans to speak to her future mother in law to get written consent for their wedding. A request for which her eyes bore proof of a lineage too hard to turn down by the prejudiced matriarch that was glad to have her first grandchild on the way. He stood up for her and in place of her sick father gave her away only now knowing why Sirius had looked at him the way he had when that blessing was given. No he was far too busy ignoring James to not cause a scene on the occasion, one that would soon be mirrored by one out in Paris for James and Lily in a trip to see his parents in Paris.

He tried not to drink himself into oblivion and failed in worries on how Potter would treat her and whatever family they did have and since the news broke of their deaths leaving just him and his reluctant roommate he came very close to destroying himself to forget how he could have stopped it. How he could have saved you from the middle of all this pain, the girl from the picture he kept on his office desk in private taken the day you were born at Jewel’s request to hold you. And since you had arrive he kept the question to himself why Regulus never mentioned you were alive to him, still blaming him in knowing somehow he had been the one to turn over the prophecy that triggered the hunt for the Potters and the long lost cousin Riddle wanted to side with him. He always wondered who you might have grown to be, and by his mental tally it was a dead tie between his friend and your confusing father.

Even in the imprisonment enemies turned roommates Severus knew Sirius would never have harmed Jewels or you, James perhaps but not your father. Even went so far as to add his name to the list of those begging for his release to find the missing child that fell on deaf ears. His main pain being his kind friend, one of the sweetest people alive had such a terrible and cruel end compared to the others. On top of your uncertain end his nights for years after, even still to the day you had been stated alive were terrifying to say the least forcing him to be near dependant on dreamless draughts so his body and mind could rest. He could tolerate the lime scented rashes constant use brought on, as long as he didn’t see the face of the women he ached to have another fleeting moment with just once more.

Charms went easily, not counting the constant mix up of your name with your mother’s from the excited Professor Flitwick. But after a simple lesson on levitation along with the items and spells connected to it you eased through a few of the simple ones leaving the others for the next day.

Shifting into Dinner where you enjoyed your fill hoping you wouldn’t see it again soon, after which you were led by Charlie to your first choir practice. In the domed hall you eyed the line of Choir frogs all peering at you curiously as the new face in the bunch. Professor Flitwick grinned widely saying, “Miss Black, trust me when I say we are all excited to have you here. Your mother had quite the voice.”

With a weak chuckle you said, “I may have the voice, but the courage to perform for strangers is short lived for me.”

He chuckled patting your arm, “That’s alright dear. Just harmonizing for now, no solos yet. We might just draw you out as your mother had to be.” He grinned wider as if sharing a secret, “She was not fond of performing either at first. Caught her in one of her study breaks singing to herself, took months to get her to join.”

Near the end of your practice you eyed the paper bird sitting on the table patiently until you were set to leave freeing it to fly over to you and unwrap itself. Across the page a neatly scrawled request to head back to the Headmaster’s office.

Curiously you followed the halls after sharing with Charlie on where you were going alone. Along the way you could hear the distant slithering in the deep walls and her soft song starting a new verse, stealing a glimpse at your map to double check a turn you spotted the twins sneaking into Filches office while he was on his rounds, another name not far before you urged you into pocketing the map again. Halfway into your easing it into your pocket however you came across Alastor in his own sleepless rounds with a grin your way, “Jaqi, I see you’ve been summoned back again.”

You nodded and you asked folding your sweater down over your thighs, “You wouldn’t happen to know why, would you?”

He shook his head, “No, though I do know Hagrid was summoned as well. Perhaps we have some snakes on the grounds troubling him.”

“Perhaps.”

In a glance at you he smirked and shifted closer to whisper, “If I may, I happened to be passing to my class earlier and managed to catch the conversation you had concerning a certain rare beastie.” You glanced up at him curiously as he chuckled again, “Might I say, well done. Your mum always had a gift for finding hidden things and doorways and such. Figures you’d be the one to find it. How is it? The beastie?”

“She’s scared.” His steps paused and you paused too, “She’s been alone unable to look at anyone or thing for centuries without killing them. It’ll take some time to ease her into it. You won’t tell, will you? I can’t even think about what the Ministry would say.”

“They would demand her head.”

“She’s been around since the school’s founders taught here, it’d be a waste of such a magnificent creature to kill her out of fear.” He shifted closer as you did to hear you whisper, “She only killed Myrtle because Riddle used the Imperious Curse on her.”

His lips parted, “You’re certain?”

You nodded, “I gave Minerva the memory I got from her of him cursing her earlier.”

He nodded, “No doubt that is why Hagrid was summoned then.”

He tried to move only to freeze as you asked, “What do you mean?”

He furrowed his brow for a moment then answered, “Was Riddle pointed the finger at Hagrid and his pet Acromantula for the death.”

Your brows furrowed and you shook your head, “His spider would have to be massive for it to do that, it takes fifty years before their venom is potent enough to kill a human.”

Alastor’s lips parted then closed in shock, “You’re certain of this?”

You nodded, “If you read Whistley’s ‘Potions, A Marvel and Dread’ it goes into detail on their venoms and its uses, they vary by breed and age, no two venoms are alike and if you use the wrong one it can be deadly, but the youngest of their breed’s venom can be used for successful prenatal potions and hair tonics. Worst it would do is give someone an upset stomach if taken directly.”

His head tilted and he said, “Hmm.” Nodding his head to the side he guided you to the golden eagle saying, “Harpsichord.”

The stairwell appeared and instead of abandoning you he stayed with you up to the office in the top of the tower. Again you walked to the desk Albus was once again behind, catching Hagrid’s curious and anxious glance back at you while Minerva eased into the chair beside Albus’ desk smiling at you saying, “Alastor, I did not know you were joining us.”

He chuckled saying, “Jaqi and I had an interesting conversation on the way up you might be interested to hear yourselves once you are through.”

Albus nodded and you sat beside Hagrid and Alastor summoned a chair of his own to sit on your free side while the Headmaster began, “Hagrid, I know you must be curious why I called you here.”

“If this is about the slugs I’ve got a remedy brewing back in my hut as we speak.”

Albus shook his head with a weak grin, “No. Though that is good to hear. Hagrid, I have just received news from the Ministry concerning your conviction-.”

Hagrid scooted closer, “Professor, if you please, not in front of the little ‘un.”

Albus grinned wider, “Jaqi here is the reason I am holding this letter. She uncovered a memory exonerating you completely,” Hagrid gasped then glanced at you seeing you nod with a gentle pat on his elbow making him tear up and sniffle trying to hold the tears at bay. “Apparently she has discovered we have a Basilisk on the grounds.”

Hagrid, and Alastor, feigning his shock, both looked at you, “Basilisk?!”

Albus, “And she was able to learn that Tom Riddle used the Imperious Curse on her to attack young Myrtle. And of course the Ministry was quick to overturn your conviction and issue you the right to claim a new wand, if you so choose. Also, on top of your duties here we have a few teachers willing to tutor you to complete your diploma.”

Minerva, “Myself included. Though I know if you so wished in the free periods they have Jaqi and the twins no doubt could assist as well. You were in your sixth year, however they are quite advanced in their own studies.”

Hagrid nodded and Alastor nudged your side, “Tell them about the Acromantula venom.”

Hagrid asked, “You know about their venom?” You nodded and repeated what you had said earlier making the other Professors lean back in their seats now knowing the proof was right there the whole time.

With a grin Hagrid stood and hurried back to his brewing slug repellant leaving you alone with the trio before Albus grew more serious to add raising another letter, “I also received this letter. Stating the Ministry orders we surrender the Basilisk to them, immediately.”

“I won’t.”

He nodded with a weak chuckle, “I hoped you’d say that. Now, we three are among the few knowing of your inherited gift, and it is no doubt Salazaar was the one to reveal the Chamber to you himself, I simply wish to say, that Chamber must remain locked.” He said with a serious glint in his eyes, “I will not allow the creature to be harmed or harm another student, accidental or otherwise. I have stated that I myself have handled the matter, that answer has not been accepted well. I know you will protect her, but I must say, it will take some doing and time to back them down.”

“She’s nearly as old as the school, how could they just think they can destroy her? She’s been lonely and scared for centuries. Myrtle was the only one she’s been forced to hurt! Even Salazaar told me not to let any harm come to her!”

Minerva, “We are just letting you know. I know I said we would want to inspect the Chamber ourselves, but we believe it best only you know where it is, to ensure it and her safety.”

You nodded and went back downstairs to your bedroom again, where you found the trio sitting up asking, “What’s wrong?”

“The memory I got earlier, the Ministry wants to kill her.”

The twins gasped and Cedric asked, “Her who?”

You wet your lips saying, “I found a Basilisk earlier.” His mouth fell open, “She’s centuries old and they want to kill her. All after I’ve enchanted her eyes so she can only use her powers by will.”

Cedric, “They can’t do that! It’s just wrong!”

The twins rubbed your back and you joined the pair in reading the chapter assigned by Snape before heading to bed once you had made the trip home sharing your day with Sirius, Regulus and Remus. All of whom took to aiding in the task of saving the great creature from destruction while you hugged your badger stuffie tightly in your sleep hoping you wouldn’t wake coated in tears.

A week seemed to blow by, in which you had managed to feed Tulip, your Basilisk, and enchant a measuring tape to record get her measurements while you collected a helping of her venom. And out of curiosity you collected a good helping over a couple days and sat with Regulus using it to destroy the Horcruxs in the Ring, Locket and Diadem, uncertain if it would work on the snake as well. Though in his own impatience you were stunned to learn he had killed her with a painless curse to get the deed done. Now just leaving the mysterious three items left to find.

Daily you would sit and talk to Tulip, even bringing down Opal, who bonded with her instantly and agreed to tell her about her own life and days. Each visit you would share the news of her health and size to Hagrid after your hour long study group after lunch. Though in the second week you got your own letter from the Ministry. one stating that you would hand over the Basilisk or face imprisonment yourself until willing to do so. Though it seems their patience had worn thin, because as you slept in your bed the door was thrown open and in your shorts and tank top you were caught in a powerful spell tearing you from your bed with a tall Wizard peering down at you in disgust.

“You will show us where the Chamber is!”

“Go to Hell” was clearly the wrong thing to say because the sea of waking students ready for breakfast all watched you in the middle of seven Aurors’ holding hexes floating you to the entrance gagged and bound in enchanted rope through Alastor and the other Professor’s screams to release you. Heavily into the back of an enchanted carriage you were thrown with it locking behind you and taken off into the unknown leaving Minerva to race off to write your father and uncle. Sliding around you sat in the small dark space until the jostling ended and all you felt was a cold chill as everything about this new location made your stomach churn and tighten.

The door was thrown open and you were levitated out making your lips part seeing you were at Azkaban Prison shifting your hair back to its natural pitch black state in your crippling realization that this wasn’t a dream. Passing through the doors you felt a wave of dread washing over you worsening with each Dementor floating by, peering at you ominously as they did. Into a chair you were strapped while an auror with a sinisterly attractive face and dull eyes sneered at you saying, “You best start talking. Or you won’t find me too kind in return.” A slap was the first you had received and he did what he could until he was called away signaling you to be levitated to an empty door-less cell where you were hurled inside. Across the cold unevenly carved floor you landed with a painful slap of cold winding you, and you coughed to force air back into your lungs, rolling onto your side peering through the doorway while your vision blurred and you slipped into the void calling your name.

Nights of terrors and memories that weren’t your own filled with heinous murders and torturing whimpers and screams woke you in a cold sweat moistening your cracking scabs as you daily grew more certain there was a piece of Riddle in you, the heartbreaking realization that you were a horcrux. Too terrified, deliriously tired and hungry to call out to the house elf furiously searching the globe for you. Though in all this, between the angry scowls on the faces of the Death Eaters filling your expansive family tree along the way, along with an angry werewolf pacing in his cell each time you passed, having to be detained by dementors to keep from the aurors torturing you daily. Three weeks you laid on that cold floor dreaming of school and home before you heard it, when your terrors had reached a numb end, the draconic whispers around you.

In a struggling roll onto your side you peered through the door and your lips fell open hearing the Dementors whispering to one another, “This will not stand.”

“What pain.”

“Poor creature.”

Again a Dementor floated past and you heard it say, “We could help you.”

In its turn you rasped out in Draconic, “He-,” it froze turning to face you while another floated into view behind it.

“It speaks.”

“He-,-lp.” A tear rolled down your cheek and it floated closer to you. Its ghostly robe billowed around your side as its bony hand extended from its sleeve to curl around the back of your neck helping your torso off the ground close to it. Under its hood you saw its face with only a mouth, open and demanding, a deep inhale later it was joined by three more, all crouched around you inhaling while Riddle’s essence steadily drained from you. More and more you felt like your three year old whole self, no longer compressed, held back by something you could not name. But again your eyes rolled back as the void took you, whole again you were laid back onto the ground gently and left alone in the cell by the creatures curious why you were being treated so when you were clearly innocent.

Morning came and with it through the cracks of light illuminating your prison cell you heard shouts and crashes. Past the Dementors you caught a glimpse of white hair as your heavily crusted eyelid fell closed again to the shout of, “YOU DARE INJURE MY NIECE?!!” Footsteps fell after a series of magical exploding hexes followed by pained screams and howls and you felt him pull your bangs free of whatever liquid was covering your face and neck, removed your bonds and lifted you in his arms whispering, “You just rest. They won’t dare touch you again.”

His arms settled around you and his bare wrist brushed against your bloody broken shin, through slitted silvery eyes the echo of an old memory you had caught from contact with Lucius. A diary was pressed into Lucius’ hand. “Protect this with your life.”

Lucius voice followed, “Yes My Lord.”

Your head slumped against his shoulder and he stormed his way out to his carriage while you mumbled in Draconic to the Dementors you could feel around you, “Thank-,” Instantly passing out again when the cold morning air hit you through the open front entrance.

“Rest, young one.”

Around you a warm set of covers were laid with a soft mattress and pillow beneath you and a body on your right. Peeking through your heavy eyelid you spotted your cousin Draco reading Peter Pan to you, cross legged with the book resting on your stomach reading animatedly until he noticed your eyes were opening. Promptly he shouted, “Mummy!” Clatter was heard in the distance followed by racing feet in your struggle to open your eyes fully.

Narcissa hurried into the room, “Jaqiearae, you are awake. You might find it a struggle to open your eyes fully, your forehead had to be bandaged, the cloth had to rest over part of your lids.”

Draco shifted closer to your side, “Mummy told me to keep you company. I thought you’d like Peter Pan too.”

Narcissa sat down gently patting your shoulder, “Now, don’t you worry, our doctor has seen to you and after your week of rest here you should be able to head back to school in a day or so.”

“My dad-,”

You croaked out and she replied, “I don’t know where Sirius is, though we have written to Regulus, informing him of where you are and your progress. He and Lucius are ensuring the Ministry never dares take you again. Just a day or two now. That creature of yours is just that, yours, an inherited item passed to you by blood. You have the only right to such a magnificent creature. They will understand and retract their order.” She said filling a cup of water then added a straw she tapped to your lips, “Some water. You must feel so hungry. We had to give you some elixirs to replenish your body after they had starved you.” Explaining the burnt lingering taste in your mouth the water helped to wash away.

For a few hours they sat with you simply talking about all you had learned about Riddle’s life before school until she heard Lucius return home and she hurried to go see him taking Draco with her, “Rest child. Shouldn’t be long now.”

Alone in the room you whispered, “K?”

At once Kreacher popped up, “Mistress! You are awake! I have been checking on you in secret when they have left you alone.”

“K,”

His hand patted your shoulder, “What do you need Mistress?”

“There’s a journal, a black one, here. If I give you a memory could you get Regulus to copy it and swap them out for me?”

He nodded tapping your forehead for that memory, “I will handle this for you Mistress. Please rest.”

“K?”

“Yes Mistress?”

A tear rolled down the side of your face, “Will you tell my dad I’m ok?”

“Of course. I have been telling him, the others and even the twins at school of your progress. Rest now, please.”

Pt 5

#HP Crossover #OC x Charlie Weasley #Snape #Albus #life in Hogwarts

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