#to everyone. So nobody ever noticed

[childrenofthesun77]

I think the black lines over mahiru's eyes were merely a creative choice to underline that mahiru was acting so out of character (from kuro's perspective) that kuro didn't recognize mahiru anymore, but this got me thinking. With the revelation that the count only reflects the beholder's feeling towards him:

Would you even recognize him if your feelings towards him changed for whatever reason? I know he admitted himself that what he and kuro are to each others is strangers, but it does make me wonder if he did meet adam before, but due to the changed situation kuro didn't recognize him anymore when he awoke as sleepy ash.

#servamp #mahiru shirota #servamp kuro #servamp count of saint germain #absolute crack theory that goes in the direction of the mahi as the vessel theory:what if there is a connection between the count and mahir #and mahiru also looks slightly different depending on who is looking at him #but because everyone he meets was just told that he's tooru's nephew or just an ordinary highschool student he looks pretty average #to everyone. So nobody ever noticed #and the black lines kuro saw were because his perception of mahiru clashed too badly with what mahiru was suggesting #sorry I'm just trying to guess what the hell tooru wanted to tell mahiru #and why tried to make him think that he was just from a normal family as long as possible #even after mahiru made the contract and couldn't be kept away from this all anymore

[phoenixcatch7]

Love the idea of each previous hero's journey being mostly lost to time, such that each time the cycle starts again absolutely no one picks up the very obvious clues that might lead them to the hero.

Oh, you've named your blond haired blue eyed child Link, have you? That's a good name!

Oh, he's found a strange red and white maned horse he's named epona who has utterly bonded with him? How unusual!

Yes, the princess Zelda is the same age, isn't she? What a good omen for the family!

We know he doesn't talk much, but he's the sweetest lad, don't worry!

Don't fret, dearie, his wanderlust will abate when he grows up, I'm sure it won't get him in too much trouble before then.

Prodigious little swordsman, isn't he? He would make a great knight if he wanted to when he's older!

Oh? Rumours about a long forgotten temple in the woods? How strange! Are you sure it's not just the children telling stories?

Look at him in his armoured green outfit! That hat looks lovely on him - where did you find it?

#It's so funny #In just about every Zelda I've played there's been about a hundred signs link is In The Building and no one ever notices #Twilight Princess was the absolute worst everyone just kept bringing up Its The Hero stuff and it just was not clicking #By the time we got to epona I was half tempted to make a bingo card #Heck he even has a tree house!! #Strong oot time genes there XD #There's something about loading up a Zelda game and going 'yup. This is a Zelda game alright' but NO ONE in universe notices #YOU ACTUALLY LIVE THERE YOU GUYS STUDY THIS IN HISTORY CLASS #it also opens up the great trope of link casually knowing stuff from previous lives he absolutely shouldn't and nobody taking it seriously #Until he comes back with the master sword #Some of those games were particularly bonkers and if the specifics never got recorded then there's no way anyone would believe them #A zora princess tried to marry the hero?? Lmao try writing fanfic #Listen I know it says the hero came from the woods but kokiri don't exist he would have just lived in a cottage or something #How dare you besmirch the hero's honour! He would never lower himself to base property damage! Never mind pots! #No hylian can ever wrestle a goron are you insane?? #Talking boat.... Sure #But you just KNOW Zelda would get some scholars and they'd hang off his every word #I love fics where link just casually references some world shaking knowledge (ie rito being zora descended and their own squid ancestors) #Or what the divine beasts were named after #Or what time travel feels like #Or that the myths hylians came from the skies are true #Or what one Zelda did when she vanished centuries ago #Or what the giant skeletons were #That kind of thing #Sorry I rambled #long post #legend of zelda #loz #loz zelda #loz link

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

i love looking at my art and being like. hm. i am not beating the [redacted] allegations, despite no one having accused me of said redacted thing literally ever, not even once. which is once again funny because i am, as aforementioned, absolutely not beating the allegations

#mossy speaks #very funny being like hm. there sure are themes here. and literally nobody else ever commenting on them #at this point i dont know if ppl genuinely dont notice or if everyone's just choosing to ignore it ITS SO FUNNYGJFJDJDJ #personal #this is so funny to me only. sorry LMAO #update ok apparently ive only posted 3 arts w what im thinking abt in the last year so thats not actually that much #and one is barely fitting in the category. however comma i feel like its still enough for Allegations

[dirt-str1der]

Love characterising nishikiyama as a booze hound drug hound meth addict high every day body mass 75% alcohol hands constantly shaking literally spacing out while driving fifty over the speed limit using elderly folk as speedbumps one hand on the wheel and one hand free to do more drugs and coming into work while functionally deaf and blind and he is still leagues more competent at his job than kiryu

#Yakuza loveblog #i dont talk about nishikiyama enough because im kazamapilled and hate him a little bit but im also kiryupilled and love him so much so you #see my problem? like i adore when nishiki is just. better in every way than kiryu and nobody ever sees that because theyre all too busy #sucking kiryus cock like okay nishiki had the rest of his life planned out when he was twenty and he was an extremely successful criminal #and getting himself noticed in many many circles then kiryu steps outside and gets into a street fight immediately and the entire tojo clan #surrounds him to throw cash at him like nishiki was actually doing so well for himself before his life was ruined. nothing is his fault #like i love just accepting that nishiki has one hell of a substance abuse problem and nobody cares enough about him to talk to him about it #and kiryu thinks its normal because hes the only one who can see that nishikis doing some great work out there so he must be doing #everything right. inconceivable that nishiki has any sort of ‘problem’ hes the real screwup and kiryu knows he makes life harder for himself #but he refuses to change because hes convinced that thats the only thing hes good at. like i believe that nishiki has a coke snorting #mechanic in game like harry db and without his coke buff he cant do as much damage like with it his output is on par with kiryus whos just #been blessed since birth by the violence gods. anyway kiryu is the only person in the world who thinks that nishiki is great do you get it #nishiki has lived his entire life in kiryus shadow and he doesnt care that kiryu has a natural charisma that he will never have. he has to #get out there every single day networking and socialising and hustling and nonstop landing interviews with cool magazines to get his name #out in the world while kazama takes kiryu out and drags him by the elbow to meet people like this is my son kiryu who has every disease and #everyone claps and cheers like i cannot stress enough how on top of the game nishiki is compared to kiryu. he has a car. kiryu doesnt even #have his own lighter. they are not on the same playing field and yet nishikis always trailing behind him because opportunity is always #knocking at kiryus doorstep whether he likes it or not and nishiki gets fed scraps and nothing else and hes the one with ambition he wants #the view on top and most importantly he wanted his brother there with him but nobody ... likes him ... nobody likes nishiki nobodys in his #corner he onky had kiryu and when he lost him it was quite literally him against the world. it always made me laugh how at the end of yk1 #harukas paying her respects at nishikis grave when the only time he ever cared about her was because he wanted her little pendant and he #(actually fucked how alone nishiki was he didnt even have his own fucking men to rely on he was basically working alone with someone he knew #was using him like ??? he was fucking desperate) anyway i really love to think that kiryu being nishikis only friend and the last person in #the world who thought kindly of him (barring like ... kashiwagi) was grieving terribly over his death and haruka being a sensitive and #sweet little girl took the initiative to ask about nishiki and i think kiryu would tell her stories every night of the kind of stuff he and #nishikiyama would get up to when they were her age. he would tell her how amazing nishiki was and how he always looked out for him how he #took care of his sister and how he would always be the one to remind them of impending birthdays and the like. nishiki cared about the #little things .. and he made kiryu want to care about them too but theres just something different between them because nishikis always #been a better person than him .. and he would tell haruka in a voice that sounded like he was begging her to understand that nishiki wasnt a #bad person.. though he did bad things he was a good man and he still wishes with all his heart that he could have done more to save him ...

[rodismancave]

. wanting 2 write stuff for bad ending rodimus but it scares me soooo bad

#i love writing him as being self destructive. however #its like. a specific kind of self destructive yknow? #i don't really share in on the sentiment that he'd completely let himself go to the point EVERYONE can tell he's let himself go #but mostly those who spent a long period of time around him would absolutely notice the change. #roddy's the kind of guy to be self destructive in private. i think he's always had a bit of a drinking problem but always managed #to keep it well hidden. extremely high-functioning alcoholic ykno #i think he haaaaates being in tc's ship and i seriously dont think he ever tried to keep in touch with anyone. #hes very much the kind of guy who doesnt really talk to people if theyre not present or text him first #and after a while hed think texting them would be too awkward and sort of intruding in the life theyve made for themselves #i think ratchet's funeral is the 1 time he lets himself go enough for it to be clearly noticed that hes devastated #and i think him putting meg's rodimus star was both sentimentally charged and a way to rid himself of the last thing he had #that kept him stuck in that life #i still sort of think Drift asking him abt the jump is a tad bit cruel. seeing he's the one guy to notice rodimus is in that state #but theyre both stranded. they dont rlly know each other anymore. #also to add to the funeral: rodimus 100% waited for the ceremony to be over so nobody else would get around seeing him in that state #i highly doubt he even wanted drift to see him like that considering he didnt even spend that long before trying to dip #anyway #those r my 2 cents. i guess. oops #ooc / misty forest

[robotpussy]

damn so everyone has decided to make Barbie (2023) their personality trait and everyone is gonna go dress up to see the movie

#i mean. i won't make it a personality trait because i hate the ppl involved too much to be attached to this movie #but ive seen like 34 posts and tweets and instagram stories already saying theyre gonna dress up for barbie #even my friend sent me a message asking if we can dress up to go see barbie 😭😭 nobody has #ever had a original thought ever. one hive mind. so called free thinkers when the barbie teaser trailer drops: #im not mad im just saying ive noticed everyone has the same ideas abt this movie 😭😭 its all ive seen today

[slugchild]

not to divulge my deepest overthoughts on the internet again like it’s 2017 but

#i think i hold people too close too quickly? i think i don’t understand how normal (read: nt) people form attachments gradually and #i think i don’t understand the ways in which normal (read: nt) people organise and hierarchise their relationships #because to me if i love you i just love you? #there are obviously some people i love more than others but i don’t seem to be capable of loving friends to an ‘appropriate’ level ? #i think i establish my love for people and then i hold them there. so close and warm but i’m noticing not everyone is holding me back #or perhaps. perhaps they’re trying to hold my hand while i’m squeezing them so tight and i don’t realise all they want from this is holding #hands #nobody ever seems to communicate this sort of thing #and holding hands is still love and it’s still beautiful but it feels so distant in response to what i’m just inclined towards naturally? #i don’t know. really #i love you and i give you things that used to be mine and i give you my time and i love you and i make you things and i love you #a part of me is yours and you are interwoven fully into the fabric of my world #but maybe some people just want to grow near eachother instead #i don’t know . #i’m sure the problem is me but i don’t know how to solve it #dissonance!!!!!

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

I know Ive mentioned this before but one of these days I do want to make a chart going through all the Peacemaker design changes he gets because despite basically having had the same design from the 60s for his entire history (except briefly in the 2000s) its like every artist draws it slightly differently (especially when it comes to his helmet). So theres like dozens of Peacemaker looks out there that all look similar but have tiny little changes you wouldnt notice unless you care way too much about Peacemaker.

Everytime I start it though I get overwhelmed like immediately so one of these days I might just have to start taking screenshots while I read stuff so I dont fucking freak out.

Anyway I totally forgot Checkmate drew him with round red little shoulder guards until I reread his appearances in it recently and I kind of like them

Theyre good for reminding everyone that T shirt is armor. Ok thank you

#I know theres a panel where theyre not colored and I was trying to find it because I keep thinking they'd look better silver or white #But could not this time. Will let everyone know if I find it. #It IS still happening now just so everyone knows #everyones drawing the show design right now but currently nobody seems to know whats #going on with his helmet and some people give him a little. neck cover thing #those are the main things Ive noticed #nobody EVER fucking knows whats going on with his helmet. Including me. #I make fun of people but I think I also draw it differently everytime I draw it #Oh also blue gloves and boots vs black gloves and boots. Those keep Changing

[stargazerlillian]

85 years of life. 50+ years of experience. An eternity of animation magic and brilliance.

Happy 85th Birthday, Don Bluth!💕🎉🎈🎂🎈🎉💕

(Art source)

#🌠 #Art #Don Bluth #I noticed that literally nobody has noticed it’s Don Bluth’s birthday in his tag so whatever - I’ll make my own.🌟 #Dearest Mr. Bluth - I adore you and all that you’ve done in more ways than you will ever know.💘💘💘💘💘 #It is people like you that give me the hope and the strength to continue honing my artistic passions... #... and one day put them to good use. Could be animation - could be storyboarding - could be illustration. #At this point in life I’m more than willing to keep my options open. When it comes to art it never hurts to. #Whatever dream job I get - know that I have you to thank for providing me the main spark of inspiration... #... that started my dreams of making life a little more magical for everyone - one drawing at a time. #Once again Happy Birthday Don.🎈🎂🎈Thank you for all that you do. I’ll love you always.💘💘💘

[ironmanstan]

I cannot read people actually talking ab american psycho bc anyone actually invested into it has a 75% chance of subscribing to like 2 of the three readings of it that are wrong

#i deleted one of them out of my head but the whole ooiuhhohi he doesnt actually kill people paul allen is alive hes hallucinatinggg #the whole thing is a commentary on how the peak of the 'american dream' requires you to fill a mold society expects #kill all individuality. deny age for the sake of youth. ignore horrific actions to maintain the status quo. #batemans whole character IN THE MOVIE is him like very much living in a hell of doing these things not bc its innate #but because he sees these things as what society expects and thus he should aspire and want for them #he doesnt kill paul bc he wants or needs more money or even that he feels threatened. hes comfortable #its entirely hes so so caught up in society and the ideals pushed by that society that he overly acts to achieve them as much as possible #so he kills him bc he recognizes hes doing better than him #the paul allen is alive thing is to hit home a point on this #bc the whole movie everyone treats bateman like hes crazy and cares way too much #and then paul being 'alive' hits that home extra bc he IS caring too much. bc everyone is so numb to whats going on around them #they dont even realize they havent seen paul. they mix up people throughout the movie constantly even tho supposedly theyre close? #its bc everyone looks the same to them . nobody stands out and they all fit this same mold. theyre all the same person #bateman realizes everything hes done 1. doesnt matter bc nobody cares and 2. it never will matter and he could snap and it wouldnt matter #bc nobody would notice or care in their society blind to each other #even then the only person who genuinely ever sees him for the monster he is is the hooker he chases in those few scenes wjth her #anyway #idk why it makes me mad it just does #the gamer speaks uwu #also the directors or somethjng said hes actually for real killing people so.

[rohirric-hunter]

I’m still hung up on that post about assigning homework on religious holidays and here’s the thing.

For reasons very well outlined in that post, assigning homework on any religion’s holidays is obviously wrong: to do so is discrimination. But celebrations and feasts don’t only originate in religion: assigning homework over secular holidays that could be of some importance to your students is also wrong, and is also a form of discrimination.

And as there’s obviously no way to account for every holiday that every religion or individual might find significant enough to celebrate, so we have to arrive at the obvious conclusion: assigning homework is wrong.

There are also studies showing that it doesn’t really help students retain information, but even if it did, the very concept hinges on the idea that school is the most important thing a child can do -- an idea that only exists to normalize the idea that will be foisted on them later; that work is the most important thing an adult can do.

Totally optional extra credit projects that a child can do in their free time sounds cool, but requiring children to dedicate time outside of school to school is completely unreasonable, especially for kids who are religious, poor, or abused.

#'you cant reform the system' but nobodys ever even tried not requiring homework #like i dont necessarily disagree but have you tried? have you tried? #also i need to say the first time i had a teacher require that i turn in a paper that had been typed on a computer #my ex parents wouldnt let me use their computer to type it #i tried to go to the library to do it but people abused the hell out of the computer reservation system so there were never any computers #(and i couldnt reserve one because i wasnt allowed to use the home computer) #i ended up typing it on a typewriter and hoping the teacher didnt notice #but not everyone is so lucky #thats another issue with homework; it always assumes that people may have access to resources they may not

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

for the 'why wouldn't date them'

charles, hawkeye, trapper

and i think you might be into twin peaks? if so, dale cooper and donna hayward

whichever ones you want to do :)

Ahhhhhh omg thank you for all of these I want to do them ALL but let's go backwards.

Donna Hayward

Ok so the thing is I AM into Twin Peaks but it's been a while since I've seen it and I tried to watch The Return but I was too stupit to understand much less enjoy it :( sowwy. So I would be dating my own flawed incomplete interpretation of a person, really. Typical Twin Peaks. 

Anyways I love Donna! I think we have similar personalities and stuff. In all brutal honesty I think if I were in her situation with a friend like Laura I’d have done similar things. Also yeah maybe her actions did lead a man to suicide but that was NOT her fault. I think the only three things that would prevent an attempt at a relationship here are 

1) The obvious. Her taste in men = atrocious. In all the rest of these hypotheticals where the character is already canonically in a relationship or has feelings for another character I’m just like yeah the more the merrier but if Donna insists on inviting her insufferable ass boyfriend into the mix I could NOT fucking do it I’m sorry. 

2) This girl is not ready for a relationship yet after All That god damn. But then again neither am I so maybe that balances out. We would need to spend some time as support group buddies just hugging and crying a lot before even considering a date. 

3) It is unlikely we would ever interact as I am never setting foot in that town ever in my life are you kidding me. Donna is super pretty in both her incarnations but I’m sorry I don’t think any pussy pops severely enough for me to risk going to fucking doorknob hell or some shit.

Dale Cooper

Ignore everything I said in that last paragraph. I change my mind. I forgot my beautiful autism creature husband is here. I would risk it all for a date with Dale Cooper and so would all who know and perceive the truth. AND he’s got two hot girlfriends with him at least one of whom is ALSO an autism creature??? Sign me the FUCK up for this polycule IMMEDIATELY. “Oh but OP what about the horrors” I don’t even fucking care it’s fine. Dale can have little an evil doppelganger. As a treat.

Still there are some problems:

1) Dale is an FBI agent and Harry is a cop. Booooooo!!!! But maybe if Annie and Caroline and I unionize we can force them to quit their jobs. 

2) Unclear if I would be forced to join the Black Lodge Horror Vision Rotation along with Annie and Caroline. Boring and time consuming task and unlike Laura you don’t even get to do a Big Scream.

3) I personally actually don’t like pie or coffee at all :( I’m sorry babygirl I understand if this is a deal breaker. 

Trapper McIntyre 

You know that “golden retriever boyfriend” joke? Trapper is like THE golden retriever boyfriend to me. Which I mean as an absolute compliment! Golden retrievers are friendly, helpful, adorable, lovable dogs. I am always up to pet a golden retriever.

But the thing is, I would never get one myself. They’re just a bit too big, bit too much energy, bit too messy, and anyways I prefer cats. No hate, no judgment, just a series of tiny preferences. Not into jocks, not into casual no-strings-attached type relationships, not super into kids, you know how it is. Boring and petty answer but I just feel like this adorable happy-go-lucky goldie deserves the PERFECT forever home and obviously he’s one of the most popular of all the dogs at the Mashblr shelter so I know he’ll get adopted super fast. So I can turn my attention to the miserable ass overbred old cat in the corner <3

Hawkeye Pierce

Oh, Hawkeye. I just don’t think so. Idk what’s wrong with me but I have to work to see Hawkeye as like. A dateable entity in my mind. He’s our little scrunkly! It’d be weird to date a scrunkly. BUT maybe I’ve just been overexposed to him purely by dint of being in the fandom he’s the main character of, because objectively I DO find Mr. Alda’s portrayal of him in certain scenes to be Attractive (TM), and seeing clips of his charisma and charm and humor and all that good handsome stuff is literally what got me to check out the show in the first place! Man. What happened. Hmm. 

I think one issue is that scenes where he’s explicitly trying to be Romantic and/or Seductive have just never done it for me. Like comparing Hawkeye’s lovey scenes with Kyung Soon to Charles’ with Martine, there’s no contest in how they make me feel. To me, Hawkeye is honestly at his most appealing when he’s radiating Friend Energy, which is why his casual relationships actually work really well IMO; you feel like he’s truly a great pal to the nurses he hooks up with. This is also, I think, one of Piercintyre’s great strengths as a ship, because Hawkeye and Trapper both have amazing Friend Energy and then their natural compatibility makes that bleed seamlessly into sweet romantic vibes. And to be clear I would LOVE to be in a Friends To Lovers relationship too but unfortunately I am cringely obsessed with loveydovey romance in a way I’m not sure Hawkeye is even capable of. Plus there’s also just the fact that I’m a shy waiting til marriage person and I suck at banter and yeah it’s just not working. In conclusion neither Hawkeye nor Trapper should date me they should date each other!! But we knew that :P

THAT CUNT

There are 10000000 reasons not to date Charles. But I will be doing it anyways ^_^ Peace and love on planet earth <3

Anyways I’m not bringing up his Problematicness as a reason here because I didn’t bring it up for anyone else and nobody noticed, so why should it be any different with him. Like no obviously I would not date this dumbfuck racist but I also would not date a guy who thinks it’s a funny prank to make a woman think she’s being sexually assaulted. I also for that matter would not date a guy who works with the dumbfuck racist and is like aw, ya know what, he’s not that bad really :) the second they have a chance to have a bonding moment. I guess I have decided to be a buzzkill about that forever now btw sorry :( oh well 

But ok no real talk I would Not date Charles unless one very specific condition is met, which is that I have whatever magic stardust they sprinkled on his single-episode love interests before they put them in the story that made him be utterly besotted with them, because more than any other character on the show, it seems, the difference between Regular Charles and Charles In Love is so hysterically huge??? Like fuck. My dudes. We’ve done it. We found the one villain who actually does do a complete 180 and starts trying to act right as soon as a girl takes pity on him enough to look at him twice. (Disclaimer: I haven’t seen Ain’t Love Grand yet I’m sorryyyyyyyy) He’s so ~romantic~ and it’s like catnip to me unfortunately. :\ The total opposite of what I said about Hawkeye up there. Offers a girl his stupid little teacup and recites poetry at her. Unbelievable. Did anyone ever think about the fact that maybe I would like to be offered a teacup and recited poetry at. No. You all only think about yourselves.  

Like even though objectively the way he nukes his relationship with Martine was hurtful to both of them, he’s so Tender the whole time it’s insane. She turned him into her pauvre petit miaou miaou overnight. I want that power so fucking bad I NEED that power so fucking bad. Say it with me everyone. I Could Fix Him. (”But OP Martine and Donna DIDN’T fix him he still left them both and never mentioned them again?” Yes but don’t worry they were just loosening the lid on his jar a little bit. I’ll get him open you’ll see. He’s gonna be soooo well trained when I’m done I’ll make him apologize to Maxwell and everything. He won’t even need the shock collar after a few weeks.)

But yeah if I have to like, try to appeal to him on my own it’s not fucking happening. I have no desire to hear the equivalent of a DOS deepfake hologram that has become evil due to being trained on text scraped from youtube comments tell me I’m ugly and stupid, which is exactly what would happen. Up til now I’ve sidestepped the issue that I do not think any of these people would give me the time of day (except Maxwell who would take pity on me probably because he is sososo Good) but I cannot ignore how much Charles just would Not like me. I don’t know how the selfshipper community does it they’re braver than any fucking US marine over there fr. Charles would look at me like I was a gross little bug on the ground and I can’t escape it. Oh well. Who needs him. Where’s your sister you dipshit I’m about to GET IT

#THANK YOU for this kind ask beloved mutual!! Sorry it got long and weird it's been a rough week and I'm afraid that may have bled through #to all these answers which I'm so irritated at myself for but I can't fix it OTL #Starky loves answering questions #majorbaby #I LOVE when people notice what fandoms I'm in it makes me so happy thank youuuu #anyways DOS leading romantic hero of all time but nobody ever let him fucking BE one. humanity deserves to be driven to extinction for this #wtf is ''You give the longest compliments I've ever heard'' ''Then let me be more succinct [adorable kiss]'' BITCH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU #WHAT IF I WANTED A LITTLE KISS HMM!!!!!!! WHAT THEN!!!!!!! #Anyways I used to get so sad knowing my favorite characters wouldn't like me. Cried alone in my room over it as a kid. #Now it's just like whatever. Join the club. #Anyways I LOVE how DOS' insanely amazing ability to sell those one-episode romances better than any other main cast member #inadvertently makes Charles seem uniquely susceptible to falling in love at first sight and being an embarrassing little hopeless romantic #which is an absolutely hysterical trait to give your rude brooding misanthropic antagonist #''I hate everyone in the world and they are all beneath me #except for this random girl I met yesterday who is Everything to me I love her SO much <3<3<3'' #SEE. LITERALLY A GUY FROM AN X READER ''I CAN FIX HIM'' FIC. #Actually in my experience most X Reader types are fairly uninterested in fixing the him in question despite all the bad press they get #like at most they only care that the Him is nice to THEM and sometimes not even that #like I'm sure this is a phenomenon IRL but it's really not there much in the kinds of fanfiction #that everyone blames for causing said IRL phenomenon #I know this because I AM an I Can Fix Him person! And I'd be the one to find Fixing Him content if it existed! #for me it's only fun if there's fixing involved tbh. I don't want a Mafia Boss Wattpad BF that's not fun. #that's literally just a guy being mean to you. do we not get enough of that IRL. I want a little project!!! #these tags are one giant red flag for me as a person but you should have known I was unsalvageable the second I begged off a date with Trap #NOT the behavior of a mentally well person #mash

[sugared-violets]

good god i am so desperately lonely

#i feel so empty inside but also like im completely overflowing with despair #its too much and yet i can ignore it #most of the time #but then im reminded that my work friends probably wouldnt notice if i disappeared and my family doesnt like me #and i have nobody in the whole world who loves me #there is not one single person who just wants to be around me or really knows me and its so painful #everyone else has someone and i have nobody #i miss having somebody even though he was a monster #i miss my first best friend so much #we were just two weird little girls who did weird shit together and thought we'd be together forever #i just want to be loved #its so hard. im so alone and i dont know if ill ever not be alone again #vent post

[tordthing]

ignore the tags please some venting n stuff. Not actually bad I just overthink a lot

Thought too hard accidentally hit 30 tags whoops lmao

(no tonetags apologies this is more for my eyes than anything. I'm not upset at anyone in particular tho)

#tom doesn't follow this blog i dont think so ill talk here #but him and a bunch of other singlets that know that were a system. have said stuff about missing matt when i front #and i know they're not complaining about me but being told that they're actively waiting for me to leave #and won't contact us when im around uh. hurt #i know you guys miss matt i don't know what to do . xe cant be here right now xe is more important and has important things to do and stuff #just. i don't like singlets very much #so tom himself saying like 'hey i know matts not here because theres stuff going on and you're doing a good job'. hit very hard #i thought he hated me #and i feel so guilty fronting for too long because! everyone misses matt! or they miss some other person who hasn't fronted #but nobodys ever. been excited to see me? or missed me when i dont front. #matts never noticed. hes mentioned when some people dont front for a while but he never mentions anything when i dont #and ive been. super stressed out about trying to relate to singlets too lately #because people want to talk to me! for me! for the things that i say! not because im just someone they like's sysmate. but it's. #difficult to relate to them a lot. feel like a burden bringing up my own memories while talking about fandom but that's part of it #and its hard to talk about normal stuff like how im doing because i don't know? ive been productive and ive gotten gifts and given gifts #ive talked to new people ive made edits ive made actual friends that want to talk to me! #me specifically. i think #but ive done stuff. ive been productive and happy. so it doesnt really make sense for me to be stressed out #how am i supposed to relate to singlets? i dont know much about our life. i don't hold a lot of our memories and im part of a subsys #so amnesia barriers are pretty high #and they don't live with this i can't be relatable talking about headspace stuff?? #it just feels like im faking and not being singlet enough. #i love my friends. #oh yeah now that i do have friends that aren't just kyle ive been really freaked out by legacy #because i relate to source a lot thats not a secret #but. but i did that in source too? later. #and now i do have friends. i do have people i could accidentally hurt and i don't want to do anything wrong #so now im just watching everybody else talk and deleting the stuff i type before i send it and just. being here #it's stupid! i know thats not me. it's fake. #but it is in a way and it makes me feel horrid and disgusting.

[harspud]

i know that internet friendships are just like that and that ppl will be all over you for a few weeks and then they just drop you and you dont hear from them for months and im suppose to be okay with that. but it still sucks feeling like i am being treated like a convinent hyperfixation like an interest they can pick up at any time and i have to be ok with it because this is how the internet has decided friendships should work

#>sluggy personal #nobody cares about my feelings or how it feels to be only a friend when its convinent its all this 'haha i will just disapear on you whenev #im bored of it or have my REAL relationships to worry about' #and if i am like this sucks i hate that i treated this way #its always turned around to me being too needy or whatever #idk is it too much to ask for to not be treated so disposabley #i feel so close to someone and theyre like yeah omg youre my best friend in the whole world we should live together #and then absolute radio silence for months until they remember i exist #i guess its easier for everyone else they dont live in total isolation #the internet is all i have to talk to people #i have to sit here and post and hope that someone will say hi to me thats all i ever get #if i die nobody will notice

[mosspapi]

I just want to be taken seriously or listened to or fucking Something for once in my goddamn life. Is that too much to ask.

#tw sh and sui in tags #I just wish I wasn't so unremarkable. suffering simultaneously too much and not enough. #nothing I do is ever notable. good or bad. #I'm not sick enough. I'm not healthy enough. I'm not talented enough or brave enough or smart enough or stupid enough. #I might as well just not even fucking be here with how little any aspect of my existence seems to matter to people #I'm too sick to live my life or do anything other than barley survive. but I'm not sick enough for my family or doctors or professors or #peers to acknowledge how much I'm suffering. #when I was first found out for cutting my fucking therapist said 'oh at least you've only done it 20 times. that's not too bad at all' #as if I hadn't been found out early and wouldn't keep doing it for years afterwards. sometimes double that number in just a month. #I was interrupted right when I was abt to attempt so nobody even knows how fucking close I was. all they know is that I vaguely had thoughts #I'm doing too bad of a job for people to appreciate me but not bad enough for people to notice or care. so I just fucking sit here. #barely existing. fucking confined to these 4 goddamn walls in a hotel room. a faint memory for everyone around me. #armchair speaks #vent post