#ive talked to new people ive made edits ive made actual friends that want to talk to me!
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pairing: Harry Styles x booktuber!reader
summary: A new series on ynrecommends channel on YT called Celebrity Book Club grabbed Harry's attention. Now, they are simply joined at the hip. As friends. Right?
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram hello! i started a new series on my YouTube channel - celebrity book club! my first victim was the one and only - Harry Styles. he has an... interesting library to recommend. click the link in bio if you want to watch me gush over harry, new bookshop I found and the best coffee ive ever made!! byeee, xx
also, you harries are too good with photoshop. i was sure he was reading book lovers...
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yourbestfriend bestie gettin' famous!!!!
⤷ yourinstagram i knew it was a bad idea to listen to you...
⤷ yourbestfriend people need to know how great of a booktuber and reader you are
harryupdates that's a great video! i immediately subscribed to your channel!
⤷ yourinstagram thank you! I hope you'll find something for yourself there, xx
user22 came here from yt! fantastic video
user39 your editing skills are amazing!!
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harryupdates
liked by hArrysbtch, yourinstagram and 34 402 others
harryupdates yn from ynrecommends on yt did a video where she read all the books that Harry has ever recommended. she is hilarious, very sweet, and absolutely clever. watch it when you have some spare time, you won't be disappointed!!
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hArrysbtch ive been watching her videos for months!!! thank god she finally gets the spotlight she deserves
⤷ harrysmoustache does she (like most of the booktubers) sugar-coat everything or she's just blunt?
⤷ hArrysbtch oh she's super down to earth! she also does those instagram lives where she talks about the latest book(s) she's read. super funny and laid back
⤷ harrysmoustache oh, thank god! i was looking for someone like that! im diving into her channel right now!
yourinstagram thank you so much! thanks to you, you harries are flooding my socials!! (im not complaining) xx
⤷ harryupdates can't wait for another video!
harryshoee she's so beautiful, too! and loves cats!
harrysmylife "harry, if you ever watch it, let's pretend you guys, if you ever watch it, i recommend you diving into Toshikazu Kawaguchi" she has TASTE, let me tell you
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harrymylove
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harrymylove I'VE MET HARRY YESTERDAY!!!! look at him and my doggy Bart. i still can't process it...
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hArrysbtch how was it???
⤷ harrymylove it was so lovely! he was kind enough to take a photo and talk with me for a while!
⤷ hArrysbtch what did you talk about? pls spill the tea
⤷ harrymylove im an English major so i asked him about some book recommendations. he answered with "i didn't have much time to read anything new recently. but was recommended and just bought Toshikazu Kawaguchi's books, so maybe this author"
hArrysbtch Kawaguchi???? after yn recommend that to him in a video???? he watched her video??? yourinstagram
harrysmoustache I've just started reading 'before the coffee gets cold' and looooove it!!
harryupdates do we think he actually watched yn's video?
⤷ hArrysbtch i hope so!
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harryupdates
liked by hArrysbtch, harrymylove and 45 302 others
harryupdates HARRY'S official YT channel left a comment on ynrecommends latest video!!
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hArrysbtch that bish said 'let me break the internet and use me fuckin phone'
hArrysbtch unbelievable...
harrymylove he watched the video that's why he recommended me Kawaguchi... im melting
harrysmoustache i hope that he loves it as much as i did!!!
harrysmylife 'love, h xx' let me go cry in the corner
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram hopefully, this date will be successful
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yourbestfriend was it?
⤷ yourinstagram after a couple glasses of wine, we moved to the bedroom
⤷ yourbestfriend STOP
⤷ yourinstagram never praise a ford till you get over...
harrystyles Assuming it wasn't successful, do you have any dates free?
⤷ yourinstagram i'll need to check my calendar, although i only attend when coffee (or wine) and good books are provided
⤷ harrystyles Done.
⤷ yourinstagram i'll think about it 🫣
harryupdates oh those are so tricky!!!
hArrysbtch stop, i also had an awful blind date with a book...
⤷ yourinstagram that's the worst! i just need to read the synopsis and thena few pages to decide if I want to buy it
harrysmoustache why is nobody talking about harry being in the comment section??? ASKING HER OUT??? who is this man??? what's happening
⤷ user93 well, it's clearly not him typing or even controlling it! the managmet took it over long ago!
⤷ harrysmoustache and they say im delulu...
harrysmylife SHUT UP !!! avtivrry is my favourite harry, like??? what do you mean he can type the comment? the flirty one? the one asking a girl out? like???
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harrystyles via close friends IG stories
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harrystyles
liked by yourinstagram, harryupdates and 4 292 294 others
harrystyles 11.08.2023 📚
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yourinstagram you did not buy them just for yourself
⤷ harrystyles Wouldn't you like to know 😎
harryupdates Well-read king that we stan
hArrysbtch I'm connecting the dots here
harrysmylife welcome back 2013 Harry, how have you been?
harrysfan83 since that girls yt video, he became obsessed with books...
⤷ harrymylove it's called getting a crush on somebody
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hArrysbtch
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hArrysbtch sooo, this is a still from yn's latest video... that stack of books looks awfully familiar to the one that Harry posted a week or so ago... coincidence? i don't think so. plus!!!! she did say she didn't spend a penny on those books
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harrysmoustache if they are together, i feel like the fandom would love her
⤷ hArrysbtch i would hope so!
harrysmylife relationship, friendship or whatever -ship it is, im here for itttt
user94 y'all are really reaching now...
harryupdates it's the way she was glowing in that video for me! she looked so happy
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram when they read your recommendations>>>
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hArrysbtch now let him play patroclus in a movie, i dare you Hollywood
⤷ harrysmoustache who would you choose as Achilles??
⤷ hArrysbtch you know what? let him be Achilles and Timothee would be Patroclus
⤷ harrysmylife this adaptation with this casting would cure me, for real
harrysmoustache he's in his lover era
harrystyles I love reading your copies of books with all the 'cute' and 'slay' and 'I LOVE THEM'.
⤷ yourinstagram it's called active reading
⤷ harrystyles No, its not.
⤷ yourinstagram party pooper
yourbestfriend thanks for inviting me!!!
⤷ harrystyles Do yo want to join us?
⤷ yourbestfriend I knew I liked you for a good reason
harrysfan45 so she is the girl from those pap photos
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harryupdates
liked by harrysmoustache, stylesbabie and 87 392 others
harryupdates HARRY taking photos of YN in Italy!!
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hArrysbtch melting
harrysmoustache what in the world...
stylesbabie i know exactly what that photo is focusing on
⤷ user42 what?
⤷ stylesbabie (•) (•)
⤷ harrysmoustache in the wise words of Steve Harrington: BOOBIES
harrysmylife so they are dating
⤷ user93 no one confirmed it
⤷ harryupdates good luck with waiting for Harry, confirming that he is/isn't in a relationship
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yourinstagram
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yourinstagram the promised vlog is up on my channel! grab some good drink and a snack for a quick talk about being single, vulnerability, loving your friends more than anything and - of course - some good books I've read in Italy!!!
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harrystyles I see the similarities between pictures 3 and 4
⤷ yourinstagram well, one is a cute little creature and the other is a sweet creature
⤷ harrystyles Good one.
hArrysbtch best vlog I've ever watched!!! Good job!
harrysmoustache being single??? what do you mean? i was rooting for you...
⤷ stylesbabie ...we were all rooting for you
harryupdates great recommendations as always!!! my tbr is growing with each of your video
celebrityupdates Single? Our sources are saying quite otherwise!
⤷ user56 spill the tea!!!!
⤷ celebrityupdates Link in bio to all the things you need to know about this romance!
⤷ harrysmylife it's like a man and a woman cannot be friends
⤷ hArrysbtch here we go again...
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a/n: do we want to see more of them?
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles instagram#harry styles fake ig#booktuber!reader
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Heya! Name's Reuniclus! (Yes!!! That is my actual name!! I didn't change it to that or anything!!) I'm a psychic type specialist from Unova! Obviously not to be confused with a psychic person, though working with the pokemon I do has led me to meeting plenty of those!!
I work with the Landon Foundation, although this isn't an official account by any means, and all opinions expressed here are my own. I wanted to mention that since I'll probably talk about the pokemon I work with a lot, and I'm totally open to answering any questions people have as long as they're something I can answer.
Considering my name, appearance, and the info that I work with the Landon Foundation, you might recognize me if you've ever heard of the group, especially Blueberry Students since Cyrano's been inviting us to do talks there for years, and I'm usually one of the speakers for that. For those of you that have never heard of it, The Landon Foundation is a group based in Unova that's dedicated to helping more stigmatized pokemon by educating people on them, both funding and running our own shelters and rescues, as well as helping trainers find forever friends in these often looked down upon pokemon! It's named after our founder's rescue deino, Landon.
Oh! Here's my trainer ID, but obviously with some stuff censored. Personal info, yknow?
I promise I'm not as disinterested as I look in the picture!!
OOC SECTION:
haha new pkmn irl blog. falls over. I made a whole trainer card from scratch from this cause i dont like having a random ass trainer on the pokecharms cards and editing them is against their tos so. falls over.
@cassi-pokeblogging-hub back at it again yippe. you know the drill. love wins. i was gonna say falls over again here but ive said it numerous times. who giva shit. boundaries and stuff over there of course. read those but the basic shit to note is that mun is an adult.
i block if i hate ur vibes. Reuniclus is meant to be a character i can freely interact with anyone with so. yippe?? im gonna be rbing so many posts with this fucker just cause i find i dont actually do a lot of interaction on my other blogs because im nervous so this is to get over that.
reuniclus is for the most part not gonna be related to any of my other blogs. i might rb my own posts to boost or if i think theyre stuff they'd rb ic but ehhh.
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do you have any permes hcs or fic ideas?
oh anon u have no idea what you've unleashed. the permes fic ideas are all i have some days, alas, im not that accomplished at the whole idea to words transition as i wish i was. i'll go into a few more concrete ones under the read more
Quick note: So like. All the things I plan to write happen when he’s 18+. and there's no sibling or parent incest. (bringing that up cause i got an. interesting dm once.) So this is just a quick disclaimer of sorts. And I’m not hating on anyone who wants to write or read something dark! I mean for instance I have a time travel Percy/Hermes brainworm that is considered dark and probably not what a lot of people want to read, so i'll tag it as such.
The One Where There is a War
Explained a little more in detail here but I have no problem talking a little about it again. It was inspired by this one perpollo fic that I'm still looking for so I can link it, bc trust me, it is GOOD. (edit: FOUND IT!!!! HERE it’s by @ghost-bxrd)The premise of that fic was a war between the gods and demigods, and my fic is meant to draw from that as well as some elements from Lore by Alexandra Bracken. It takes place post-second Giant war, but I'm toying with the idea of having the war and all related events, like gaea's rising, happen when percy is maybe 19-20? I'm not sure yet though. I might keep the timeline as is instead. For now, just know that it is post-second giant war.
Anyways, the premise is the new war the demigods have waged on the gods, when Percy, already a conflicted party to the war, comes across an injured Hermes when he is separated from his group of scouts.
2. Warning: Untitled For Now But It Is The Dark!Hermes One
you ever read child surprise by aphroditesfavorite or the breezeblocks series by violetmoreviolent?
Both are perpollo, and while I've not caught up to child surprise (i'm two chapters in, its been in my marked for later for a while, and ive had the tab open for ages, i just keep getting distracted lol) i know that it does deal with a time-travel trope, with percy, post-second giant and titan wars, waking up in the past, the day athena and poseidon compete over athens.
from what i hear, where child surprise is perpollo, there is a dark, forcecful hermes scene, which is absolutely not meant to be shippy btw! i heard from a friend who has gotten farther than me that the aphroditesfavorite has also stated that the shippy comments received about that hermes scene has made them uncomfortable so like, dont go reading it for that guys please.
breezeblocks meanwhile has a take on dark!apollo, a more ancient apollo, in a way. an apollo that you remember IS an olympian and all that may entail. i actually have caught up with the latest updates, and it takes place in the present. i dont want to go spoiling, but I will say that like, the way its all unraveling and unfolding is just so interesting, im high key invested.
@ashilrak and @mrthology have also written an absolutely heartbreaking, gutwrenching, exceptionally glorious banger of a fic, HAUNT ME, THEN- that also really captures the otherness and ancient, almost older, aspect of the olympians.
anyways, the reason i bring these fics up is because i just really love the idea that percy was born from the sea, while also acknowledging that one of my favorite parts of the whole book series in the first place is percy's connection to mortality and to his mother. reading child surprise really was root of a lot of ideas of percy emerging from the saltwater fountain in athens at the time of poseidon and athena's competition, with the idea that the trip to the past coincides with unwanted percy's ascension. it is not the birth of percy jackson the demigod, but in half, percy jackson the deity (the other half near coming to fruition in tartarus before he forced himself to stop.)
all that^ was just a very long way to say, this fic, im not sure WHAT it is yet, or where the direction its going in is, but we have established permes in the modern era, the time slipping happens when percy is struggling with keeping his impending ascension at bay, and then percy deals with a hermes at his like. prime? if thats the word. having to reconcile that with the softer versions they know later.
3. The One I've Been Struggling With
i'm just gonna copy/paste some stuff from my outline, like just the first two pages. this is the most concrete fic wip i have lmao. its all very rambly bc thats how the process goes for me so sorry abt that! anyways, starts below:-
an au that is not modern times, but perhaps in the past? Ancient Greek times? So more “ancient greek minded hermes.” Or if you think there is a better alternative, that would work too, I’m all ears. Trickster god Hermes (which he is) and minor immortal(?) Percy.
i dont know what percy's situation is yet. need to figure that out
i was looking at a comic and thought, trickster god Hermes would definitely pull something like this on Percy. And then I thought, what if, trickster god Hermes, sees this one man (Percy) and falls in love with him. But this man seems to pine for a woman who doesn’t love him back, and so Hermes takes her shape. (I don’t know who this woman would be. Annabeth? It could be her, but I also love the bond Percy and Annabath have in general, she and him are incredible friends. Rachel? I loved her friendship with Percy too.)
Anyways, Hermes taking their shape made me laugh a bit because wow Percy is getting catfished by a god. And then I was like WHAT IF- Percy himself is a minor immortal like. A young nymph-ish type. A prince of Atlantis? A demigod turned prince of Atlantis? I am not sure what he is, but, I am going to use nymph as a placeholder until I figure this out.
So sure, Percy is immortal, newly or otherwise, but he’s young and still not fully like, aware (I don’t know if that's the right word) about what it means to be immortal because he literally was born 20 years ago, which is normal mortal young man age. And Percy is like, “I’m as old as them and I want to live as them. I was them.”
His father is protective of course, he is aware of the way of the gods and how they chase pretty people. Poseidon warned him about gods, how they come and go, how he should never fall for one because loving one usually ends in tragedy or heartbreak- that to them hearts are easily won by tricks and discarded as easily. (Thinking again: mortal Percy turned immortal by marrying/mating with Hermes? Except, then I thought, Poseidon wants Percy to be immortal–if he thought Hermes showing interest and Percy reciprocating would allow for Percy to choose to be immortal he would probably begrudgingly allow it. So then….immortal Percy? Need to think)
The big Hermes reveal is when Percy is attacked or injured, or some other god shows up, and Hermes saves him but reveals his true form in the process.
BACK TO THE PLOT!!!
Hermes was like, I will have this nymph, and that is FINAL. And Percy is kind even though he is not necessarily always NICE, (it may be ancient greek but new yorker percy is timeless) he's sweet and cares so much. he’s a hero and so loyal. he's brave and mischievous and genuinely good, and Hermes is just. Blown away, by the way Percy loves, so deep and it consumes you, to be the one Percy cares for, Hermes thinks there is no feeling like it.
Hermes tells himself that Percy can't possibly be deserving of mortal love. So what if golden haired Annabeth (placeholder for now, still dont know if we're going the annabeth route?) is a warrior who can run like the deer and loves the very woods Percy does. No, he needs a god's adoration, a force to be reckoned with at his beck and call to fulfill his every whim the way Percy himself makes others feel. If people would be loved the way Percy loves, everyone would be a god.
I am laughing at Hermes taking the shape of Annabeth while talking to Percy, but also using the moment to talk up Hermes. Like if Percy is in his starry eyed about Annabeth phase, Annabeth wanting to have a sit down would be so exciting for him, and Hermes as Annabeth would be petty enough to be like lemme proselytize about myself, “have you heard of the great wonderful god Hermes?”
Percy being like, “Yeah my dad tells me every day, stay away from these people and then gives me a list of gods, why?”
Hermes immediately pissy
Percy is still talking, “so yeah Hermes is on the list too- why, Annabeth? Did something happen? you look...not well. Are you sick?”
Hermes, through gritted teeth, “with all due respect to... your father, I think you should hear about the god Hermes because he's not... whatever it is your dad said.”
Percy: Well, apparently the god Hermes fixates on pretty people and tries to get into their pants using trickery.
Hermes as Annabeth: CHOKES
Hermes-Annabeth: THAT IS SUCH SLANDER. I have never.... ahem, i have never heard of that about the god Hermes
^That was the first two pages. there's 11 more of me realizing writing is hard and i have commitment issues. but hopefully i finish at some point bc this is the fic ive poured some serious time in!
anyways, that was the three main fic ideas ive been tackling. i have had more that i immediately forget about, but just know, i can think about them all day!
#hermes#hermes pjo#percy jackson#permes#hermes x percy jackson#percy x hermes#percy jackson pjo#answered asks
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life update!!!!
hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.
first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!
another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)
ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(
and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^
SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !
have a nice day :)
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oh hey ive been meaning to ask is there an easy or preferred way to get into kamitsubaki lore esp for vwp. ive tried to skim the website like 3 separate times & only picked up the very very basics
ok so the problem with kamitsubaki lore is that literally like Most of it that is direct and not just implied thru music videos/twitter posts happened in a fuckign ARG that is... kind of lost media kind of not. the kamitsubaki city ARG took place on a website where players were given new... riddles and tasks called Qs every day for the month of october in 2021 and that website is now inaccessible but people i know archived and translated all the content they could so it's still viewable in some fashion. a couple of my friends practically singlehandedly edit the kamitsubaki fandom wiki and you can find all the "story fragments" (cutscenes from the ARG with direct story) translated here (oh and there's also lost media from before the ARG from kaf's old fanbox page that is now inactive/lost media... i have all of the images from that but they aren't all typeset yet so i'd have to get back to you on that one. it's dubious whether all that stuff is still canon anyways, a lot of it seemed conceptual before kamicity was properly outlined. one day i'll compile all this shit somewhere for everyone to have easy access since the wiki is kinda eh for it)
when you said "skim the website" i assume you're talking about the website for the narrative TTRPG stuff? perhaps? sorry kamitsubaki has websites all over the place it's kind of a disaster. i can't give too much information on this one honestly, my japanese isn't good enough and i'm a little bit behind, but afaik other than the tutorial after you sign up which walks you through a scenario with one of the girls as TTRPG practice, the rest is just... TTRPG stuff. like you making up stories with other players within the setting and whatnot. you'd have to browse through it. (eventually there's going to be some sort of small video game related to all of this. exciting. who knows when that'll happen)
there is also some stuff to do with the cr/ypto project that's loosely correlated with kamitsubaki city i guess but not really you can ignore that. and i would ignore it. i do
otherwise it's kind of like vocaloid song series where the VWP music videos contain hints to lore/metaphorically show what's happening. occasionally art is posted to the hashtag # STORY_VWP on twitter too which contains art correlated with the actual story of kamicity.
if you want my basic breakdown and understanding, tldr the girls r summoned from elsewhere by a mysterious organization called the Restoration Foundation to use magic singing powers to restore life to a city, but the city is doomed to end in apocalypse from fishlike creatures called Tessaracters every single time and they're like. in a time loop with varying amounts of memory retrieval trying to save kamitsubaki city and go home. there seems to be a lot of significance with what clothes the girls are wearing in different media and etc etc
Sorry i'm sleepy and this is probably too long and also a mess. the reason it's a mess though is because VWP lore is a mess and that's part of the fun for me. if you have more specific questions about specific parts i probably can help with an answer though! i'm not as into it as some other people but the lore is still fun to theorize on and i like seeing symbolism in the music videos.
this isn't even touching on like. how there's the kaf membership manga canon which is just an official comic where vwp is in high school together. or otogibanashi which was a series of... spoken skits? that kaf put on at her concerts for a while and has yet to be concluded and is a completely different universe from the rest of the vwp lore. Truly an enigma
by the way look at this video of one of my fandom friends posting a shitpost gif we made into the japanese kamicity ARG discord chat during a livestream. we made kaf laugh. the joke is that parrot was so annoying you don't want to know. i am so proud of this communityjsfdksdf
#asks#red-dyed-sarumane#sorry again for the mess omg#kiki was here#this may not have helped at all LOL
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alright, here comes the long ass super personal and sentimental post absolutely nobody asked for (you’re welcome)
i watched episode 1 of bad buddy the day it aired (1 year ago today!) out of sheer luck. i dont even remember how i discovered it, but my initial thought was: “im bored. it’s 11pm and i dont want to go to sleep. this trailer looked fun. oh it came out today? sure what the fuck.” and i watched it in bed, on my phone. completely fucking unaware of what was about to happen to me and my life - and this honestly amuses me so much when i think about it because let me tell you...
i am NOT one to watch romance for romance’s sake. i really couldnt care less for it tbh. i’m not what i’d call a shipper at all (though i used to be, and if you remember my blog back then i owe you financial compensation bc tbh that whole spectacle exhausted me ANYWAY-).
romance is just something ive always preferred as a side dish to plot, bc i only tend to like it when it’s super well done, and ive never found any of it very realistic. this was actually pretty unfortunate for past me bc fun fact, i am a little bit of a hopeless romantic, and romcoms are my guilty pleasure. the problem is i also dont like any of them enough to care about them after ive satisfied my initial “i want to watch something cheesy and cute” urge. i’d seen a few other bl’s over the years but only bc i was bored or wanted to watch something gay, and none of them had ever stuck in my mind after i finished them. i actively avoided those fandom spaces so i definitely wasn’t keeping up with what was new.
(now listen, i have very specific thoughts on bl itself, but im not gonna get into that here (and actually miscellar said yesterday that the bl difference between 2020 and 2022 is unrecognizable and that basically sums it up so i dont have to lmao <3)).
- and ep1 of bad buddy is pretty typical bl! i adore this about it tbh because i was completely unprepared for everything the show was about to pull. my initial reaction was that it was something fun to look forward to every week.
so then-
I dont!! i dont even know how to explain it! ive tried too many times!
but it really is That Bitch, and truly feels like something i’d been waiting my whole life to see. a romantic comedy that was incredibly realistic in the sense of being overwhelmingly human, and also overwhelmingly queer. it’s so effortlessly fucking funny, while simultaneously a very (very very very) layered and emotional story. i will sing its praises to the end of time. it is quite literally the most well crafted show i’ve ever seen, and every time i rewatch it, or go back and reread old meta, im reminded that im not insane believing that. it just literally is that good. it’s such a simple story done so. extremely. well. it’s so ordinary, and that makes it extraordinary, and that was the intention from the start.
but i also have to say, one of the best things about having this show, is getting to be apart of the amazing community i found here loving it alongside me. bc i avoid fandoms. i stick to the places and the people/mutuals i know. i drift through edit tags more than i follow individual blogs. i block people like lightning. i have always had anons and replies off and i enjoy my privacy!!!
and i have talked to more people and made more friends and have had more fun this past year than i ever have before on this site.
it took me until after bb finished airing to start following people back, but by then i knew which blogs posted what and what i’d want to see more of on my dash - and there are still many many people im not following, or who arent following me, that i talk to! i love each of you so very much, and i want to do a couple special shoutouts, if thats okay. ♥️
SO, in no particular orderrrrrr:
@mrdumpling nuria you were the very first bl-centric blog to follow me, and as such gave me a little bit of a heart attack that day, because i knew you were a popular blog and i Was Not Ready For Attention lol. but im so glad you did! ik we don’t talk often, but i love lurking on your blog and following what you’re interested in, and most especially, sharing this show with you. to say your edits are beautiful is an understatement! i always love to see what you make!! 🧡
@actually-yikes SORA I MISS YOUUUUUU!!! 🌹 i love talking to you, i love bonding over warrior pran with you, i love the edits you make. i think you’re very funny and delightful. seriously. ...im kind of at a loss for words here bc you’re one of the blogs i went to the most while bb was airing, and the first person i followed after it ended. i really just think you’re wonderful, and idk how else to say it! ily!!!💕💕
@miscellar you have some of the best takes ive ever read, and you somehow seem to read my mind and write (in much better words than i ever could!) exactly what im feeling on so many different topics. i love reading your analysis, your criticism, and just in general whatever you have to say. you impress me very much tbh and im always a bit amazed whenever you talk to me. i love sharing meta with you! 💚
@pranparakul KATIIIEEE when you’re not on my dash i miss you. even if you’ve got posts in your queue ill be like 🥺 where’s katie? is she having a good day today? literally it doesnt matter what you post abt, bc your enthusiasm for whatever it is always makes me so happy. keep doing you <3♥️🌸💗💕💜🌸❣💗💜♥️💕
@snimeat GEI. okay we dont talk OFTEN but when we do we talk a LOT. your excitement is sooooooooooooo contagious and it always matches mine and i feel SO SEEN. i think your edits have such a mystical vibe to them...they always make me feel very wistful (in a very good way). luv u 💛
@pranpats Kit!!! your gifs are GORGEOUS. and you are one of the sweetest people on this site. you always say such lovely things in the tags, and i love occasionally coming to talk to you about gifmaking things. you are such a warm presence on my dash! 💜
and of COURSE @grapejuicegay - kk i think we speedran our friendship in the last 6 weeks. idk how we never really talked before, now that i know we were BOTH lurking on each other’s blogs this whole year. i don’t even know what to say that i haven’t already said in our dms. i fucking love talking to you. there are some people you just click with and im so glad you’re one of them. 💙💌💗💖💜💙💕💛♥️🌹💌💖💙💕
there are so many more of you i want to mention here!! and if you read this far please know im probably also thinking of you, and i want you all to know that i have loved every minute watching and sharing this show with you.
im constantly blown away by everyone’s kindness and how welcoming all of you are. this is truly my favorite place to be online. thank you for all the tags on my gifs and meta. thank you for being so warm.
im so happy this little show means as much to all of you as it does to me. happy one year everybody. 🎆🥂💚❤
#julian watches bb#long post#i SAID thered be emotional posts today and i MEANT IT#also huge shoutout to all my wonderful incredible and lovely mutuals and followers#who have stuck around while this show consumed my life#i love all of u i really do#and i love this show with my whole heart#its home to me <3
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what follows is a long, rambly, and possibly sappy thank you note to the best fandom ive ever involved myself in. if you have ever sent me an ask, commented on my fics, or replied to a post i made (or even liked it tbh)--then this post is for you. (and this is most certainly not a good-bye or even close; i just occasionally get into sappy moods)
i want to start working on a career that i like, and my mom’s recommendation was to start a writing blog (she insisted i dont call it that though--to call it a “website” so it sounds more professional when i apply for writing gigs). its not the first time shes given me that advice but i have for some reason always resisted that idea before. “nobody would read it” was always the bottom line. that whole “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has always been my outlook on anything i produce. its why i feel so poorly whenever i post a new chapter of a fic or any art ever. its why im taking so long on the next batch of ga essays. its why ive never formally submitted any writing ever for publishing. why would anyone read anything i have to write, especially with no dead fandom to prompt them? who would choose me out of all the aspiring writers out there?
for ga it was a bit easier after a bit of breaking through the initial anxiety of sharing bits of myself. its a small fandom. not much content going around. theyd take anything right? even if it was from me!
but something really weird happened these past few years in the ga fandom. i started writing essays and became more vocal, posting my thoughts, writing a long, dark, fucked up fanfic. i got feedback from people who wanted more from me. theyd ask me my thoughts on things, when id never considered myself an authority on anything or even very interesting to talk to (a lifetime of being the substitute friend will do that to you). ppl sent me asks about questions. they replied to my posts to further discuss things. me! what on earth?
then it got weirder. i posted my weird messed up little fic and now every once in a while ill get a comment from a person that says that my fic is their favorite, not just in the fandom, but ever. EVER. what? a couple of people have told me that they’d read anything i wrote, even if it had nothing to do with gakuen alice.
that they’d read something just because it was me.
this isnt a rant or a vent. something has changed in my self esteem in the past few years because today, when my mom told me i should start a “writing website” and post weekly writing, it actually sounded like a decent idea. no part of her advice was different than it had ever been, but i was. i could for the first time imagine starting a blog (website) and picture someone actually liking what they found there. and that’s bc of the ga fandom and bc of the writing ive done it for it and SPECIFICALLY the writing ive actually had the guts to share.
none of it has been perfect. im lazy when it comes to self-editing and when i finish writing a chapter im eager to just throw it out there instead of rereading it once, let alone twice. a lot of it has been imperfect, but you guys still read it. you enjoyed it, even. “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has never been a problem for you. for whatever reason, quite a few of you like me, like my writing, like my ideas and thoughts. a couple of years ago i wouldnt have been able to fathom that, not even in my wildest dreams.
im proud of myself for taking those first steps a couple years back, for posting those first couple posts and letting myself get involved in the fandom for a manga ive loved for half my life. im proud because if i hadnt done that, then maybe my self esteem wouldnt have developed like this. maybe i wouldnt have been able to picture a career in publishing as clearly as i can now. i obviously still have issues as far as my self esteem is concerned. i second-guess myself. i talk down to myself. i put off rereading bc i dont want to hate what i create. but you guys have helped me like my writing and helped me see that other people can like it too.
i am beyond grateful for that. i dont get a lot of traction or feedback like i would if i were in a larger fandom, but i dont mind. the feedback that i do get is of such good quality and has meant so much to me that it has potentially changed my life. i just needed you all to know that. that the people who have sent me asks, both on and off anon, requesting my thoughts on any topic; the people who leave comments on ffn and ao3, giving support ranging from long paragraphs to a brief sentence; the people who dm me or message me to share their thoughts on my work; the people who commented on my natsumikan essays telling me that ive helped them see something from a different perspective--you all have helped me see that there’s value in the things i create.
i just want to say thank you. it has meant so much to me so far to be able to feel so confident in my writing. i really didnt even notice the change until today. how bizarre is it that something so important can change without you even noticing? i look forward to sharing more with you, from more fics to the mikan essay (which still has to be perfect, just maybe not as perfect as it wouldve had to be a few years ago lol).
don’t be nervous that this a good-bye. it is not. it’s strange because whenever i’ve said anything like this (sent a message of adoration to a person i love, for example), people think it’s a bad sign. that i’m saying good-bye, or that it’s somehow a sign of something unsaid. i understand. this kind of nonsense sappiness (like all that stuff i wrote up there ^) is usually saved for the ffn bio when someone is leaving the site, for the good-bye post when someone decides to leave a fandom. “you’ve all meant so much to me and i’m leaving now.” that’s because usually people save all the important things for the end. you only say how you’ve felt when you say farewell. i don’t think life should be that way. i’m not saying good-bye, i’m saying i love you. i think people should say that more. i want people to feel good about themselves for what they’ve done, however small, to make my life--and undoubtedly the lives of others--a little brighter. and you have. you should know and i don’t intend to keep it to myself until i say good-bye (whenever or even if that happens).
tldr; i love you gakuen alice fandom <3 youre not dead because dead things cant give life the way you have.
#me and the gakuen alice fandom: a love story for the ages#my beautiful messiah.#if i ever come across as confident#especially in my older posts#that is incidental. i am always nervous to press post. this fandom has helped me grow so much yall have no idea#ga#gakuen alice#little anya things#this is partially a musing on my conversation w my mother abt the website#but also partially a response to every post on the ga tag complaining abt the dead fandom#i feel like its maybe unfair to judge the fandom based on how few ppl post (when its not even that few--i do track the tag)#when so many ppl love it and are eager to jump in on conversations to talk about it#it may be small but its passionate. passion is the lifeblood of any media that has stuck around in ppls hearts as long as ga has#i dont think that should be understated#my advice as someone who also mourned the 'death' of the fandom:#talk anyway.#youll bring all the ghosts out <3 and theyre for the most part quite friendly#if nobody reads this thats okay. i just needed to say it
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George Lucas has built up a lot of mythology around Star Wars. Not in the series proper, but stories and myths around the creation of it. A lot of it isn't true, and one particular story has been stuck in my brain.
"Harrison Ford was a carpenter on/near the set when George Lucas saw him and cast him as Han Solo".
The idea is that Harrison Ford just happened to be lucky and he made the best of a rare opportunity. The actual story is not nearly as neat and tidy as this.
Harrison Ford was already an actor, having been in The Conversation and American Graffiti. The former was nominated for 3 oscars (won 0, but it was up against The Godfather Part II so it had no chance) and the latter was directed by... George Lucas.
Fred Roos was assisting with casting and had also worked with Harrison Ford before. He told George that Harrison Ford would be great for Han Solo but George didn't want to reuse actors from American Graffiti. Fred knew he did carpentry work when he wasn't acting so he arranged for Harrison Ford to have a job doing carpentry for Francis Ford Coppola's office. It just so happened that the casting for Star Wars was down the hall from there.
And then while casting was happening, Fred saw his friend Harrison Ford and told George it would be a good idea to have him read opposite the potential actors.
And then Fred talked about how great this Harrison Ford guy was and maybe he should be Han Solo after all.
This isn't a story about how Harrison Ford became lucky. This is the story of how Fred Roos cleverly got the casting he wanted.
All movies are collaborative efforts, and the idea that one person has a vision that must be executed perfectly is basically a myth. Even Ingmar Bergman, the Swedish director that makes black and white art films, has said in interviews that he basically could never tell Max Von Sydow to do anything and the The Seventh Seal was a collaborative effort. In some cases it's just two people butting heads until one prevails. Hitchcock didn't want any music during the shower scene in Psycho but Bernard Herrmann added it anyways. Hitchcock just had to admit he was right and basically doubled his salary.
I just don't want people to think this story is about hating George Lucas. He's got faults but I think people have retroactively decided that the film had to be saved by other people and that just isn't true. He is guilty of doing lots of weird stuff like claiming that he wrote 9 stories and started with the 4th one (A New Hope didn't have the Part IV until after the original run) or re-editing the film to have Greedo shoot first and claiming it was always supposed to be like that, but he knew how to direct a movie.
#movie#cinema#film#star wars#george lucas#harrison ford#fred roos#francis ford coppola#american graffiti#the conversation#ingmar bergman#max von sydow#the seventh seal#alfred hitchcock#psycho 1960#bernard herrmann#a new hope#Greedo
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I’m sorry put the op was right about them being human beings with thoughts and feelings. Did it come off to strong? Yes. But the fact you have to put the glaring issue of they can’t take criticism as your stance isn’t even a viable way of proving your point as there have been clear efforts to change things in the community as of recently. Now that Temul is in charge of the group!
Not saying the fair of amount of criticism isn’t justified. In fact there is always room for improvement and it should be heavily encouraged.
But shouldn’t mods be people you trust? Not total strangers? but active community members who become good acquaintances with staff? No seriously. I’ve been spectating the server since July of last year and half of those people didn’t even know each-other til they met on the server. Some of them aren’t even friends til being asked to join.
And so what if they’re friends? That means they’re a trustworthy candidate that can be vouched for.
It’s actually insane how people will just assume the worst out of a situation without any definitive answers but purely based on their pre-decided judgement of others. Which is a huge issue right now especially with cancel culture.
I can’t even begin to explain how entitled half the people in closed species communities are because half of the problems stem from the people themselves.
Now this is a vent blog and it’s meant for voices to be heard. That much is obvious. All you need to know is change doesn’t happen within a week. It takes months so don’t assume the worst in situations or you’re gonna stay bitter in these communities when you eventually quit.
Stay safe and touch grass 👍
post related
i feel like youre neglecting to acknowledge the full range of points i made in my last response.
yes, theres change happening within the past 2 months, but theres also things to have gripes about. im glad things are seeming to move toward getting better, but at the same time that shouldnt deflect from the fact there are still things to be worked on
i understand theres the big rework happening right now with stuff, but for transparency’s sake im not going to give points for things that arent completed. you can say youre working on things, but until i can physically see them and be able to make a judgement on the effectiveness of implemented changes, im not going to comment on them because i dont want to have to retroactively edit my perspective.
also, “mods are making changes” and “mods cant take criticism” arent mutually exclusive. the changes being made currently are a result of the work getting too hard for them with design approvals because they were SO nitpicky and people actually started to complain on a large scale. but as seen in the suggestion forums, not a lot of suggestions seem to be really introspected on. ive seen so many solid ideas that work for other large species just be totally tossed out because “its too much work for mods” but yet when more mods are hired, they dont seem to be doing really any work.
which brings me to my next point, i said in the last post i would have been more forgiving about all the mods being in the same clique if it werent for the fact that the new mods never seem to be doing anything besides promoting commissions. quality of life improvements are constantly denied because the workload is “just so difficult” but then you never actually see evidence of extra hands being used to make big change. again, if you keep adding people do the mod team it should not be taking weeks to get a MYO design approved.
im gonna barely entertain the last bit of your ask simply because it comes off as intensely patronizing to me. are we really talking about cancel culture when the issue at hand is “terra staff are bad at taking criticism?” it comes off as very much “holier than thou” mentality when you call others entitled for daring to say they dont like the way things are run. change takes months, yeah, but thats when you actually DECIDE to change and not shrug it off because “work hard :(“ dont put yourself on a pedestal just because youre more dismissive of things than others
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in 2021 i got into an argument with two of my friends who were both lgbt (one bi one gay) because of the listerine gay flag and i hate how i acted, we argued in class on our phones and stuff and i regret it so bad i made them apologise and i moved school because of that situation and back then i thought i was going away from people i dont like but now i realise i was in the wrong and i traded it for a worse school and i dont even wanna imagine going back to them BECAUSE they also used to be the worst bullies ive ever had that warmed up to me and we were friends and fuck im gonna cry i dont even wanna see them again because i know why, i made a carrd for this girl too (because it felt to me like you had to have one back then so i made her one) and i edited it and someone managed to hack her account (ended up not using it and she made a new account), i met the guy again at a bus stop coincidently and he didnt say anything and all i knew is that he was my moms student at the time and she left and thats all the talked about i hate myself i hate this guilt i have i dont want to imagine them face to face looking at me its going to haunt me those were one of the few times i had friends that a. stuck around for abit and b. were actually in my class and i blew it over stupid twitter discourse im sorry im so fucking sorry im so fucking sorry i cannot express it i dont even remember her name but im so sorry for dragging her its my fault i konw she will never see this but i just couldnt hold it in any longer
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HEYYY i really hope its not too late to join your event (if i am you can delete this) anywhooo, can i have a matchup for bsd? My gender is female and my pronouns are she/her. Is it ok to request both a romantic and platonic matchup? If not, then just a romantic matchup please! For the romantic matchup, i prefer to be matched up with male (but if you also give me a platonic matchup, i don't have a preference). OKKK now onto the information. I'd say i'm friendly, even though i'm shy. I might not talk much at first, but as soon as i feel comfortable around you, i'm much more talkative! The people around have told me they love my sense humor. I dislike routine because after a while i get bored of doing the same thing and i get unmotivated, which is why i like to spice it up. Sometimes i can get lazy and procrastinate, but for things i'm really passionate about, i'm very hardworking. I also do know when to take it easy and take breaks. For the most part, i'm pretty easy-going and love having a good time. People come to me for advice or to vent, although i rarely vent or ask for comfort from others. If i'm vulnerable in front of you, then that means i REAAALLY trust you, most of the time i prefer to keep the negative feelings to myself. As much as i hate it, it's really easy to make me blush. I have a big appetite, i juat love food lol. I love music and i'd say my top 3 favorite artists are olivia rodrigo, red velvet and ive. I also like discovering new artists, songs and genres in english and different languages. It's actually one of my hobbies. I also like it when me and my friends recommend each other songs and/or artists to listen to. My love language is making you a playlist with songs that remind me of you and your favorite songs. Gift giving is also my love language. Some of my other hobbies are learning different languages (i speak english, spanish and portuguese fluently and i'm currently learning french), video & photo editing (mostly to make memes lol) and playing video games such as animal crossing, any mario game, among us (yes i still play it👁️) and roblox. Sorry if this was long, but i hope this helps!
SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG 😭😭 HERE U ARE
I match you with..
(sorry In advance)
Dazai Osamu.
How, I'm a bit hesitant to match people with Dazai
But I'm ngl, I'm not sure who else I could see you with, and there's some things that made me think of Dazai.
He was allured by your shyness, he was quick to try and break down your barriers. Now, this is all typical Dazai stuff, messing with new Ada members and all
However
He notices how you dislike routine,
you slowly get bored, he sees the motivation drain out of you.
That's when he sees a similarity between you too.
It's when he offers to help spice things up with you, though you most likely denied a double suicide, you two still ended up doing many other things together.
He decided if he was going to have a future, he'd need you in it.
Life would never be boring with you ; You shared a similar motivation of wanting to feel alive, and had a great sense of humor.
He's similarly lazy at things he doesn't like, so you and him are Kunikidas worst nightmare the ADAs power couple !
He loves seeing your usual easy going self become more passionate, seeing the life in someone so beautiful turns him away from thoughts of suicide with you.
He also loves making you blush~ One of his favorite hobbies is seeing how red you can get from such simple words.
It takes him a while to open up, so it would be a while into your relationship where you both have a mutual trust and can equally share your life and feelings.
All he has is crab, but dw he can spoil u with canned crab atleast ..? ^_^""
LISTENS TO ALL UR PLAYLISTS AND TREASURES ALL YOUR GIFTS !! He'd probably make playlists for you, but all the songs would be VILE. Dw, he'll slip in a few sweet ones
Very intellectual ! He admires your knowledge of language. You two probably make one together.
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ignore the tags please some venting n stuff. Not actually bad I just overthink a lot
Thought too hard accidentally hit 30 tags whoops lmao
(no tonetags apologies this is more for my eyes than anything. I'm not upset at anyone in particular tho)
#tom doesn't follow this blog i dont think so ill talk here#but him and a bunch of other singlets that know that were a system. have said stuff about missing matt when i front#and i know they're not complaining about me but being told that they're actively waiting for me to leave#and won't contact us when im around uh. hurt#i know you guys miss matt i don't know what to do . xe cant be here right now xe is more important and has important things to do and stuff#just. i don't like singlets very much#so tom himself saying like 'hey i know matts not here because theres stuff going on and you're doing a good job'. hit very hard#i thought he hated me#and i feel so guilty fronting for too long because! everyone misses matt! or they miss some other person who hasn't fronted#but nobodys ever. been excited to see me? or missed me when i dont front.#matts never noticed. hes mentioned when some people dont front for a while but he never mentions anything when i dont#and ive been. super stressed out about trying to relate to singlets too lately#because people want to talk to me! for me! for the things that i say! not because im just someone they like's sysmate. but it's.#difficult to relate to them a lot. feel like a burden bringing up my own memories while talking about fandom but that's part of it#and its hard to talk about normal stuff like how im doing because i don't know? ive been productive and ive gotten gifts and given gifts#ive talked to new people ive made edits ive made actual friends that want to talk to me!#me specifically. i think#but ive done stuff. ive been productive and happy. so it doesnt really make sense for me to be stressed out#how am i supposed to relate to singlets? i dont know much about our life. i don't hold a lot of our memories and im part of a subsys#so amnesia barriers are pretty high#and they don't live with this i can't be relatable talking about headspace stuff??#it just feels like im faking and not being singlet enough.#i love my friends.#oh yeah now that i do have friends that aren't just kyle ive been really freaked out by legacy#because i relate to source a lot thats not a secret#but. but i did that in source too? later.#and now i do have friends. i do have people i could accidentally hurt and i don't want to do anything wrong#so now im just watching everybody else talk and deleting the stuff i type before i send it and just. being here#it's stupid! i know thats not me. it's fake.#but it is in a way and it makes me feel horrid and disgusting.
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no you know what im actually fucking pissed. I've seen two posts today with people complaining about the lack of content, one partly joking, one not and honestly that attitude, joking/exaggerating or not pisses me off to no end.
I make a lot of different content, i spend HOURS on drawings, i write fic, i try my hand at video edits, picture edits, i made gifs before. And i enjoy making that content.
But when you post stuff that people apparently want and then get about 40 notes for it, with 6-10 reblogs, 3 of those self reblogs (because i think maybe i just posted at a bad time) out of that, then it's discouraging as FUCK.
It's easy to see how the motorsport community on here is growing a LOT. i have been aware of f1blr for less than two years and this blog exists since february of last year, but even i can feel it shift.
If you're new and you are a content creator this doesn't apply to you but The only thing ive seen most new people (as well as some usual suspects) create on here is fucking unnecessary drama.
Looking at my own posts in the best of thing tumblr does is also exciting because what gets the most notes are the memes and funny edits so i assume people like those best. I love posting my art and getting engagement on it but when I see that less and less people care about it while my follower count still rises, I assume most people don't care for it. Sometimes they do and i think alright i was exaggerating but then a friend's drawing or gifs or edit gets the same treatment.
So when i create stuff now i still make it for myself but i think twice about sharing it with an audience who largely doesn't care. I make things for my own viewing pleasure and if i think that no one except me and my friends cares about it then why, pray tell, should i share it with anyone else apart from that?
I'll continue posting things I made because I enjoy sharing them and I enjoy talking about these things with other people and I love the engagement I get when I do get it. I'm not arrogant in saying that when I post my own art, I'm proud of it.
But when theres less and less paintings and gifs and edits on your dash and more and more discourse and drama then take a long fucking look at yourself and decide what you want to engage with. If you decide to talk about who you hate and have to talk about your opinion on every single topic under the sun and surround yourself with people who do the same, if you curate your blog experience to be an echo chamber of not knowing when to just shut up then dont be surprised when content creators are nowhere to be found.
I have Opinions too and i do post things and reblog stuff I agree with. But many people are all too trigger-happy to reblog opinion posts and add their own to them while being clinically blind for the reblog button on art, gifs, edits etc.
I'm not saying never take a stance. I'm just saying take a good hard look on what you want to see on your dash and actively help in showing creators that you want to see what they make.
Thank you.
#I hope this made sense.#im just fucking tired#it's making me so mad that people feel this sense of entitlement to content but then do nothing to ensure creators+#that their content is liked and appreciated#thank you for your attention#long post
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Fake Affection | III
Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue
Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.
All rights reserved © nyctophilin 2020. Re-posting, copying and translating any of my works is prohibited.
Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader
Word count: 5.1k
Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut
Warnings: swearing, mild groping, mild violence
Pearl note -> This got long. Yeah, things got interesting in this part. :)) Also, I realized I forgot to add something so I had to come back last minute and edit it. Yeah, sorry for the delay. :/ I hope y’all enjoy it! Feedback is very much appreciated.
The sun was shining brightly despite it being almost 6 PM. The temperature outside reached unusually high numbers for that time of the year, and Y/N decided to take advantage of that. Dressed in a forest green spring dress that reached her mid-thighs and offered a modest view of her cleavage, she was waiting for Jisung in front of her apartment complex. The dress she was wearing had short sleeves, but she decided not to take any jackets with her thanks to the weather forecast that predicted the temperatures to be high until later in the night.
She was clutching the strap of her purse tightly and impatiently checking the time on her phone every few minutes. It has been such a long time since she went on a date. Just because she was going there to make Mina jealous didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun. What better way to convince the other girl that she missed on a lot of fun than have fun?
Coming from the left side, she heard the sound of an engine approaching. Soon, a black Range Rover came to a gradual stop right in front of her, the front wheel almost climbing the sidewalk. From inside the car, Jisung gestured her to get in. She opened the door and climbed in, placing her purse over her knees before fastening her seatbelt.
Without much of a word, Jisung turned the steering wheel and started driving to a destination unknown to Y/N.
“I didn’t know you had a car.” She spoke, trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.
Jisung threw her a look before concentrating on the road again.
“It’s Chan’s. He let me borrow it for today.” A long sigh left his mouth. “After a long talk where he told me that if I hurt his baby, I’m dead.”
Y/N let out a chuckle, and Jisung smiled as well, as the memory of the silly conversation he had with the older man flooded his mind. Another minute passed, and the silence in the car was being filled by the pop music coming from the radio.
“You look pretty!” Jisung complimented, stealing another glance at her.
A bright smile invaded her facial features at his words.
“Thank you! I didn’t know where we were going, but I figured a dress would be appropriate for many activities.” She chirped, the tiniest bit of excitement rolling off her tongue.
“What if we are going hiking?” Jisung said, and a smirk appeared on his face when he noticed her rolling her eyes from the corner of his eye.
“Then you can turn the car. I’m not coming!” Y/N crossed her hands under her chest and her mouth formed into a small pout.
“I’m joking. We are going to an outdoor cinema.”
She gave him a side look and raised an eyebrow.
“No offence, but how do you know when outdoor cinemas are happening? They don’t seem…” She eyes him up and down on the driver’s seat. “...your style.”
Jisung resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her comment. After a moment of silence, he sighed silently accepting her words.
“Mina told me about it three weeks ago. She said it was a rom-com she really wanted to see. We planned to go together.” He explained taking a right turn.
“Then how do you know if she’s going to come if you planned to go together. I don’t know if you realised, but you are supposed to be dating me, and she’s dating no one. Girls don’t usually go to this kind of thing without a boyfriend or a potential one.”
“There’s this guy from Theatre and Film that she used to hook up with when I wasn’t around. I know from someone that they are coming together.”
Y/N let a pitiful smile involuntarily invade her features. It was kind of pathetic how he knew about her whereabouts and still didn’t say anything. She understood that they weren’t together, but they were heavily flirting and behaving like a couple, hence why she and a lot of other people thought they were actually in a relationship.
She let her teeth sink in the flesh of her bottom lip holding back from telling him a piece of her mind. He was old enough. He knew what he was doing. Or at least she hoped he did.
The rest of the way to the outdoor cinema was spent in silence. The only audible sounds being the radio and Jisung’s soft humming from time to time. When they reached, their destination Y/N got out of the car and let Jisung find a parking spot somewhere further away from the location of the cinema due to the parking there overflowing with vehicles.
Checking her phone, she noticed the time indicating 7:17 PM, and only then she realised how much time they spent in the car. Walking lazily on the pathway to where space was designated for blankets and chairs she saw a sea of people. Maybe not really a sea but there were enough people to fill two of the auditorium in their university.
For a second she thought she'd lay out the blanket, but then she remembered the only thing she had on her was her purse. On top of that, they needed to ‘accidentally’ bump into Mina and her date and hope they end up sitting next to each other.
Just as she was thinking about that a squeal deafened her and a pair of delicate arms wrapped around her. When the girl let go of her, and she met Mina’s face, she grimaced, but she regained her composure fast. She smiled at her and her date, a guy she had seen occasionally in some of her classes.
“What a coincidence you are here!” Mina’s fake excitement was pissing her off. Coincidence her ass. Y/N was sure she knew they were going to be there.
“Yeah, what a small world.” She gave the two a visibly fake smile and prayed for Jisung to hurry.
“Are you alone?” The girl asked, moving her head in different directions as if she was looking for the person she came with.
“No. I actually came with Jisung.” As if on cue Jisung appeared from behind the two, a blanket in hand.
“Are you looking for me, princess?” A jolt of surprise went through her at the new nickname he used, but she didn’t let it show.
Observing the angry expression on Mina’s face at his words, she figured that was how he used to call her before they broke up whatever they had going on. She surpassed a smirk from painting her lips.
“Mhhm.” She extended her hand, which he gladly held and went in for a short kiss. “Look who I found. Isn’t it lovely seeing your friends here?” She sarcastically said, smiling up at him.
“You guys should come sit with us!” Mina��s date said, and a victorious smile spread across her face.
“We’ll love to if that is okay with Mina, of course. We wouldn’t wanna disrupt you!” Y/N faked concern and gave Mina doe eyes.
Mina’s jaw slightly clenched before immediately relaxing and letting out a forced giggle.
“Of course you can. Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”
After that, the four of them went and found a place at the back of the crowd where they could sit. It wasn’t exactly the back of the crowd since there were some more people behind them, but they were reasonably behind.
Jisung spread the blanket on the fluffy grass, and Mina’s date, whose name she found out was Jay, did the same as Jisung. Their blankets were almost touching, the distance between them millimetric.
There were still 20 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. They sat down on the blankets, and Y/N stretched her legs, finally relaxing for not having to stand on the platform shoes she was wearing.
“So, are you guys dating or…” Jay asked, fixing his body position so he could see them better.
Y/N rolled her eyes at his question. The guy wasn’t the best at reading the room.
“Of course we are. Why would we be here together if we weren’t?” Annoyance was dripping off her tongue. She only wanted to relax for a bit before having to spend two hours watching some boring rom-com.
“Oh…” His voice sounded almost disappointed as his gaze lingered a second too long on her exposed legs. “Mina and I are not a couple. And since she and Jisung have had a thing before, I thought...” He bit his bottom lip while looking at her thighs that were pretty much bare thanks to her dress riding up when she sat down. “Never mind!”
Y/N shifted uncomfortably and placed her hands on her thighs in an attempt to cover them even a little. Mina wasn’t aware of her date’s actions as her eyes were concentrated on Jisung and on the way he looked under the golden rays of the sun that was preparing to set.
Jisung, however, was burning holes with his eyes into the other man’s head. Upon seeing him biting his lip while looking at Y/N in a less than appropriate way, he felt an unexplainable feeling of rage penetrate his body. What he wanted to do at that moment was to get up and punch that pig into next week for daring to look at her like that. But he kept his composure and decided not to make a big deal out of it.
There was literally no reason for him to get that angry. Besides the apparent reason that it made her uncomfortable and he shouldn’t allow something like that, especially when he is playing her boyfriend. But the sudden feeling to rip his head off filled him with turmoil.
Jisung decided to ignore it for now, and he took his jacket off and placed it over her legs. Her head shot in his direction, confusion and at the same time relief present in her eyes.
“What is that?” She asked, trying to act unaffected by Jay’s actions.
“I just thought you might sit more comfortably with this over your legs. It stops unwanted attention.” He subtly glared at Jay, but he didn’t seem to pay him any mind as his eyes were now fixed on Mina’s chest.
“Thank you!” She said, bringing the jacket further up to cover her thighs better.
Jisung inched just a little bit closer to her and cupped her face. Placing his lips on hers, he forcefully pushed his tongue in her mouth, taking her by surprise. He made sure their heads were positioned in such a way that the two on the blanket next to them will be able to see the exchange of their mouths.
Mina was watching Jisung drag his tongue inside Y/N’s mouth, his eyes closed in satisfaction. The exchange wasn’t rushed, and the way his thumb would caress her cheek so gently had her bursting with jealousy. Jisung had never kissed her like that. Their kisses were always rushed and sloppy, driven by sexual needs.
When she first heard about their little relationship, she laughed. She thought it was some kind of stupid joke. But then she saw how they behaved. The kisses, the hugs, the hand holding, how he would always have a hand around her shoulders. In the three days, they dated he showed Y/N more love than he showed her in a year and a half.
Her initial plan was to tease him a little bit, then finally accept to be his girlfriend. She didn’t think he'd go and find himself a girlfriend. And especially not her. From all the people he could choose it had to be her. Looking at them now, Mina regretted her decision.
Jisung broke the kiss and looked into her fluttering eyes before placing a peck on her nose. Y/N was sitting there dizzy from everything that happened. His sudden boldness left her speechless and burning hot from the embarrassment of being seen doing something like that.
She wanted to question him. Ask him why he suddenly did something like that. However, a loud sound erupted from the speakers surrounding them, signaling the start of the movie. So she focused her vision on the big cloth in front of her and decided to ignore it.
She shivered discreetly as a wave of cold hit her body. The movie was only half done, and with the midnight approaching slowly, a chilly air adorned their surroundings. The weather forecast predicted high temperatures, but at that moment she was far away from her city, and so the weather was different.
Y/N rubbed one of her arms with her hand, regretting not taking a jacket with her just in case something like that was to happen. From the corner of his eye, Jisung noticed her actions, and he leaned in close to her to whisper in her ear.
“Hey, are you ok?” His hot breath on her ear made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.
“Yeah, I’m just a little bit cold. I’ll be fine!” She whispered back giving him reassuring eyes.
Jisung thought for a second of what he could do. He didn’t have another jacket, and he didn’t want her to uncover her legs. At least not when Jay was around. An idea finally struck him, and he softly called her name, catching her attention again.
When she turned to look at him, he tapped the space between his spread legs. Y/N raised an eyebrow at his gesture.
“What does that mean?” She sounded a little bit annoyed.
“Come sit here. I’ll cuddle you so you won’t be cold anymore.” Y/N threw him a weirded out look. “We are ‘dating’. No one will find it weird. Or you could just stay there and freeze to death.” The man explained his voice a little bit louder than before.
She pondered his offer for a bit before getting up and making her way between his legs. She let herself fall backwards until her back hit his chest softly. Jisung put his arms around her, and warmth started enveloping her almost instantly. Y/N let out a purr at the newfound comfort, and her eyes shot open at the realisation of what she just did.
“Hey, don’t get too comfortable, you hear me? I’m doing this just because Mina might be watching.” She warned, her voice stern hoping he missed her last action.
Jisung rolled his eyes but decided not to bring up the sound she just let out. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the newfound proximity. Only so they can make Mina jealous. Right?
They sat like that, none of them daring to move. For some reason, Jisung found the position really comfortable. A few days prior at the start of their relationship he found skinship really awkward but now it wasn’t like that anymore. It felt almost natural. Like they have been doing it for a long time.
Some more time passed, but Jisung wasn’t sure how much. The movie was approaching its climax, and the man felt bored out of his mind. Was it really worth going through that only to get his dick wet? But then he remembered who he was doing it for. He was doing it so he and Mina, the girl who he has been in love with for the longest time, could finally be together. And when it happens, he will be able to slide his hand through her silky hair, and feel her smooth skin and kiss her soft lips without having to call it a friendly gesture.
His trail of thoughts was interrupted by a quiet mumbling coming from Y/N. Her voice was so small that Jisung couldn’t hear her.
“What?” He leaned his head down in order to hear her when she talks.
For a minute, there was silence. Thinking that she didn’t hear him, Jisung wanted to repeat the question when a puff of air left her mouth. Right after, she turned slightly to the side, pushing her head more against his chest, and that is when he realised that she fell asleep.
An involuntary smile tugged at his lips, and his heart started beating faster. He couldn’t explain why he was so happy about it. It was going to be a pain in the ass. Having to wake her up and wait for her to recover from her dazed form. They were going to be the last ones to leave after the movie was over.
A whistle-like noise left Y/N’s nose when she expired the cold air of the night, and his smile turned into a grin. Jisung moved a few strands of hair from her face before wrapping his hands better around her to keep her warm. He placed a kiss on top of her head and rested his chin on her head, swaying slightly while continuing to watch the movie.
If you were to ask Mina what has happened so far in the movie, she couldn’t give you an answer. As much as she wanted to see the film, the girl’s eyes seemed to be more interested in whatever was happening on the blanket on her left.
She watched as they were cuddling and whispering to each other things she couldn’t hear. Then Y/N fell asleep, and Jisung seemed to be even more loving, hugging her even tighter and kissing her. She was wondering if he has ever done that to her on the many nights they shared a bed.
Mina never thought she would be that affected by the fact that Jisung has found himself a girlfriend. After all, he was just one of the many boys she was hooking up with. She never thought she would have feelings for him, but here she was, being jealous of the last person she ever thought she would.
She had to somehow get the boy back. She wanted to see it as a challenge, but she couldn’t. It had barely been two weeks since they ‘broke up’ and scarcely four days since he started dating that perfect little missy. Love doesn’t fade away that fast. She’ll have him back in no time.
Y/N felt someone shaking her arm gently, and she mumbled some incoherent words, pushing the hand away. She was sleeping so well, she didn’t want to wake up. A hand pushed a hair strand that was ticking her nose out of the way before grabbing her shoulder and shaking it again. She groaned in annoyance.
“Wake up, Y/N! You have to go home. Unless you want me to take you to my place.” Someone whispered close to her face, and her eyes fluttered open, trying to make up her surroundings.
The first thing she saw when she finally managed to blink the sleep away was Jisung’s smirking face. God, he was so annoying. Ignoring him and looking around, she noticed she was in his parked car in front of her apartment complex. She vaguely remembered falling asleep, but she doesn’t remember waking up to get to the car.
“How did I get here? Did you wake me up?” Y/N asked, straightening her body and inhaling the cold air of the night.
Jisung held her hand and helped her out of the car before slamming the door closed. He let her lean against the front door and opened the back door to fish her purse from the back seat.
“I didn’t. You were way too cute when you shut up. Like a little obedient kitty. I had to enjoy the moment a little bit longer.” He teased, putting a hand around her waist and making their way to the entrance in the complex.
Y/N scoffed at his childish remark but decided to ignore it. She didn’t have the necessary energy to argue with him.
“So you carried me to the car? What about the blanket and the other stuff you had there? Did you go back for them?”
“No, I had Jay get them for me, so I don’t wake you up.”
Stopping in front of the elevator, Jisung pushed the button, and they waited a few seconds for the doors to open. Stepping inside, Y/N pushed the button for the third floor before leaning back against Jisung.
“Talking about Jay. Thank you for today!” The man threw her a questioning look, acting as nonchalant as he could.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t act dumb! I know you didn’t give me your jacket just because you are nice like that. You saw how he looked at me.” She wanted to sound more aggressive, but her voice came out soft and calm since she was still sleepy.
Jisung found that adorable but surpassed a smile. Adopting a disinterested expression, he spoke.
“He did? I didn’t notice. I just thought that, as your boyfriend, I shouldn’t let everyone see your underwear.” Y/N punched him in the stomach lightly, and Jisung dramatically bent down, letting out a fake grunt.
“You are such an asshole!”
A loud ding echoed in the restricted space, and the doors opened, revealing the dirty wall of the third floor. They stepped out of the elevator and slowly walked down the hallway to where Y/N’s apartment door was. Taking her purse from Jisung’s hand and finding her keys, she unlocked the door and opened it.
She leaned against the door frame and looked up at Jisung, giving him a bright smile.
“I'd like to say that I had fun, but I fell asleep halfway through the date.” She giggled, trying to mask her embarrassment. “But it was nice getting out of the house. Thank you for today!”
The man put his hands in his jean’s pockets and scoffed.
“You are lucky Mina got upset by you sleeping on me. Otherwise, I would have gotten angry. My shoulders are so stiff from having to support your weight. I might not recover for a few days.” A fake pained groan left his throat, and Y/N rolled her eyes.
Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she placed one hand on his shoulder and brought his head lower. She connected her lips with his in a short kiss. Breaking the kiss, she stepped inside her apartment and kept the door open enough for her head to be visible.
“See you on Monday!” With that, she closed the door all the way and made her way into her bedroom.
She wasn’t sure what was the time, but it must have been well past 11 PM. Taking off the dress, she discarded it on the floor before grabbing the oversized t-shirt from the back of the desk chair. She put it on and threw herself on the bed, letting the sheets envelop her body before falling asleep.
Y/N’s eyes shot open, and her mouth fell open as the realisation of what she did only moments prior sank in. Putting the back of her hand over her forehead and exhaling deeply, her eyes closed and her brows furrowed. Why did she kiss him? She’ll never interact with anyone while she’s still drunk on sleep.
Meanwhile, Jisung that just exited the complex couldn’t contain his smile. He couldn’t understand why that was happening. They kissed before to make Mina jealous. But maybe that was precisely the reasons such an insignificant gesture brought him so much joy. Mina was nowhere near. A spark erupted in his stomach at the thought that the girl might have a crush on him.
“Do it again! With more love this time. Come on. You want me! You desire me!” Y/N ordered to Jeongin.
The man let out a frustrated groan, using the script to cover his eyes from the brightness of the sun.
Both of them, Hyunjin and Jisung, were outside, in front of the university. They had a free period and decided to practice the script for the short movie they were playing in. Hyunjin, although not part of the film itself, was always with them thanks to Mrs. Bae’s affinity towards him.
Jisung, however, was new in the picture. Ever since they went on that date a week and a half ago, he seemed to be spending more time with her. She felt mildly suffocated by that but decided not to question it. As long as he wasn’t distracting her from her usual activities, she didn’t mind him tagging along.
“You don’t make desiring you really easy. We’ve done it four times already. We will start filming in three months. I don't have to be perfect right now!” Jeongin exclaimed letting his body fall on the bench on which Jisung and Hyunjin were seated.
“Hey! Be careful of what you say. My girlfriend is very, much desirable!” Jisung said in a jokingly offended tone earning disgusted groans from the other two men.
“Really dude? I could have lived my life without knowing that information.” Jeongin started fanning himself with the script. It was a sweltering day.
“I don’t understand why you are here. You are only four-wheeling us.” Hyunjin remarked, earning himself a dirty look from Jisung.
“A car needs all four wheels to be functional.”
“Yeah, babe, but we are a tricycle.”
Hyunjin, Jeongin and Y/N erupted into laughter at Jisung’s dumbfounded expression. From behind Y/N, they heard even louder laughter and Hyunjin scoffed at the scene unfolding under his eyes.
“I swear to God! Mina has been so annoying lately. Much more than when she used to hang out with Jisung. It’s as if she’s following us around.” The man rolled his eyes as he remembered how many times Mina ‘coincidentally’ happened to be in the same place as them the past week.
“Tell me about it. And how she is always with Jay from our major. If I wanted to watch live porn, I would have signed up on one of those porn sites.” Jeongin seemed as annoyed as the other man.
“Don’t stress about that guys. I’m pretty sure these are just coincidences.” Y/N tried telling them, even though she knew everything they said was right.
“No, I’m pretty sure they are not. There’s someone between us whose attention she’s trying to catch.” Hyunjin gave Jisung a side look.
“You can’t be sure of that.” She played dumb, wanting more than anything to change the subject.
“ Oh, please! She’s always watching him. In the cafeteria, when we are hanging around on our free periods, when she’s kissing that loser. It’s like he’s a good movie she can’t tear her eyes from.” Jeongin snapped, tired of the whole situation.
“Then let’s give them something to look at!” Jisung smirked smugly.
“What do..”
In the next second, Y/N has been pulled on Jisungs lap, and he captured her lips in an urgent kiss. One hand was on the nape of her head forcefully holding her in the kiss, and the other one was on her ass cheek, squeezing it.
She heard someone awkwardly clearing their throat from her right, and all her senses heightened. Y/N placed her hands on Jisung’s shoulders and tried lightly pushing him away while uncomfortably shifting in his lap. As a response, the man groaned lowly and slid his hand from her neck to her chest, cupping it.
Her eyes widened in shock at his action and mustering all the force she had in her, she pushed him away, finally breaking the kiss. A loud bang ringed around them as her hand made contact with his cheek. Jumping off his lap, she gathered her bag from the leg of the bench.
“You are a fucking asshole!” She shouted in his face before storming off inside the university.
The stomping of her boots was echoing in the empty halls, and the few students that were around decided to make her space to pass. Her thinking was clogged at the moment, and all she could feel was rage and shame. She was angrily making her way down the halls, but her destination was uncertain. She just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.
Y/N heard quick steps from behind her, and a hand pulled at her shoulder. Without turning around, she shrugged it off and started walking faster. The person behind her also increased their walking speed, but this time around, they grabbed her wrist.
Just as she was preparing to scream in their face, she was pulled into a hug, her face forced into a firm chest. Y/N felt herself calm down as the smell of a cologne she grew accustomed to in the last week invaded her lungs. His hand was gently rubbing her back, and she relaxed under her touch.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin whispered softly in her ear.
She hid her face more in his chest, feeling shame overcome her.
“I’m sorry you had to see that. I swear it’s not what you think! We’ve never…” Her voice was shaky, as if she was about to cry. Hyunjin cupped her face forcing her to look in his eyes. She could see concern and sadness hiding behind his brown orbs.
“Why are you apologising to me? You are the one who’s been wronged here. I just wanna make sure you are okay.” His soft voice was acting as a calmative for her racing heartbeat.
Y/N felt her insides flip at his caring words. His hands on her cheeks were hot, and she decided to blame them for the blush that acaparated her face.
“Hey! Step away from my girlfriend, you motherfucker!” Jisung’s voice filled her ears, and she saw Hyunjin roll his eyes.
The warmth of his body left her, and he crossed his arms as Jisung finally arrived in front of them. Hyunjin was looking down at the other man, and both their expressions were filled with anger.
“I was just making sure she’s fine. It looks like you took your time deciding to do the same.” The taller man spat venom dripping off his tongue.
“It’s none of your business how I handle my relationship!” Jisung adopted a louder tone bringing his face closer to Hyunjin’s.
“But it is when you decide to act like a bitch in heat and make your girlfriend uncomfortable. This is why Mina never dated you and why you and Y/N won’t last long!”
Jisung clenched his jaw upon hearing the other man’s words, and before anyone could register what was happening, he plunged his fist into Hyunjin’s face.
#stray kids#stray kids smut#stray kids angst#stray kids fluff#stayverse#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#han#han jisung#han x reader#han jisung x reader#han angst#han jisung angst#han fluff#han jisung fluff#han smut#han jisung smut#hyunjin#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin angst#skz#skz smut#skz fluff#skz angst
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Guilty Pleasure
[Porn AU]
Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.
All the warnings listed on Part I apply.
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X / Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
Almost three months into his new life, Peter was finally able to establish a routine that worked for him. He woke up around nine in the morning, tried to get some sort of exercise done, usually yoga or a jog around the block, then he had breakfast by himself, because both Ned and MJ had class or work before he was even up. After that, he made sure to post something on Just4fans, so people could see it throughout the day, and answered private messages and comments from the night before. Lastly, he headed to his newly created Twitter account to promote the new content and to interact with people there as well – it was a great way to get new subscribers.
That usually took up most of his morning, then he went downstairs to Ned and MJ’s apartment for lunch. He usually ate with at least one of them, except for Mondays and Wednesdays, when neither was home, but even then he ate at their place since he didn’t own any kitchen appliances yet – it was on the priority list, but not that high up, he liked having an excuse to visit his friends every day.
Later, he headed back upstairs and, depending on the day, he would take new pictures and videos or edit the ones he took the day before. Finally, at night, he posted more content on his Just4fans and chatted with his subscribers until it was time for bed.
In the last week of April, on one of his morning jogs, he noticed that just a few blocks away from his building there was a charity called the Bright Future Foundation. He thought the name sounded familiar, but try as he may, he couldn’t remember where he had heard of them. It was only after running past it a few times that it clicked – Mr. Harrington, his science teacher, told Peter to look it up.
The Bright Future Foundation helped kids who aged out of foster care get their lives together. They offered support in the form of scholarships and grants, academic and personal mentoring, and help with internships and employment readiness skills. That was what their website said, as Peter vaguely remembered from his high school years, when he still planned on going to college.
He went inside one day, not really sure why, and when the front desk lady asked how she could help him he just stood there for a few minutes, silent and nervous. She asked if he wanted to learn about their programs, but he shook his head, sticking his hands in his pockets. The woman waited patiently, a motherly smile on her face, until Peter asked if they needed any help.
And that was how volunteering at BFF became a part of his new routine – every Thursday from nine to five, starting in the first week of May. Since it was just a few blocks away from his place, he could walk there instead of taking the subway.
He liked his new routine, it was tiring but it didn’t leave a lot of time for overthinking or ruminating on the past. He never felt lonely because Ned and MJ were always around and he actually made a few friends among his subscribers, which was nice.
For the first time in a while, Peter was feeling happy. And it wasn’t an elaborate, fragile sort of happiness, where things needed to be in perfect place for the feeling to be felt, no. It was the simplest kind of happiness: he had friends, a job, a place to crash and everything was fine. Nothing was perfect, but it was fine.
A few days after he sent Tony the lingerie pictures, he decided to send him the video. He was a little insecure about it, it was 13 minutes long after editing and Peter had really lost it for a minute there, one could clearly tell. He was gone for most of the video, a moaning mess, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, begging for something – someone – that wasn’t even there. It either looked ridiculous or fucking hot depending on the person watching, and even though he was pretty sure Tony would not think it was ridiculous, he still worried just a little, but he sent it anyway. It was still early in the day when he did, some time around noon, and he didn’t expect him to answer any time soon, so went on with his day.
Tony messaged him around 2AM, as usual, but there was no text, just three videos in the chat. In the first one, it looked like he was wearing a suit, he could see the dress pants pulled down and the white shirt pulled up as Tony jacked off for thirty seconds before he came all over his hand. It looked like he was in a bathroom stall, sitting on a toilet, and Peter bit his lower lip, wondering if he was at work when the video was taken.
The second video was similar to the first, but it looked like he was in a garage or something like that – probably the workshop he always talked about –, Peter could see a black shirt bunched up around his waist and sweatpants around his thighs.
Last but not least there was a video of him completely naked, lying in bed, and the video was shot from Tony’s point of view, like he was holding his cell phone close to his face, looking down, instead of propping it up in front of him like he usually did.
They were all incredible and delicious and got Peter rock hard in a second. The boy got comfortable on the bed, lay on his back, took off his pajama bottoms and sighed when his cock sprung free, shivering a little when the chilly night air touched his heated skin. He planted his feet on the mattress and spread his legs, but didn’t do more than that yet.
“That good?” He messaged Tony, cheekily, and the older man started typing right away.
“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my whole entire life and I’m 48, so yeah. That good.”
Hm, forty-eight. So Peter wasn’t wrong in his assumption. He bit his lower lip, a rush of excitement running through his veins. Tony was so much older, almost thirty years his senior. Peter supposed he must be really experienced. He wondered if he usually hooked up with younger men or if in real life he only dated women – it wouldn’t be a shock – but most of all, he wondered what he looked like. Maybe he dyed his hair, but if he didn’t, it was probably mostly gray and fuck Peter if he didn’t have a thing for that.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You broke me. I was in the middle of a meeting when you sent that video, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to watch it. What have you done to me, witch?” Peter wanted to laugh, but it got stuck in the back of his throat with a moan when he slid a hand to his lower abdomen and his cock stood to attention.
“I don’t know about that, but your videos sure got me horny as fuck.” He rolled his hips a little, humping the air, and finally gave in to himself, holding his cock in one hand and the cellphone in the other.
“Is that so?” He could almost hear his voice through the phone – soft, but powerful. He always imagined Tony would sound like that if they ever talked face to face.
“Yes, daddy” And that would always be his default answer to anything he might ask with that voice. He closed his eyes for a second, quickening the pace of his strokes just a little, when his phone beeped again.
“Are you touching yourself right now?”
“Yes, daddy” Peter shivered, imagining Tony’s reaction to that revelation.
“Can I hear you, baby boy?”
He didn’t even hesitate, he started recording a voice message and moaned into the phone, thrusting his hips against his fist as he quietly begged for Tony’s cock, his fingers, his mouth, anything, he just wanted the man to be there taking care of him, making him cum, that was all he wanted, and he wanted it so badly.
He came in just a few seconds and hit send on the voice message before he could overthink it. As he lay there, breathless, staring at the ceiling and trying to gather his strength, he fantasized about Tony listening to it. He smiled to himself, like an idiot, then his cellphone beeped, bringing him back to reality.
“You’re gonna drive me mad, you know that? I’m actually going insane and it’s all your fault. Also, my dick is gonna fall off and that’s on you, too.” Peter had the presence of mind to laugh at the message, but it took him a few seconds to gather enough energy to write back to him.
“That’s a serious accusation, Tony, I’m gonna need all the evidence I can get, so every time you touch yourself thinking of me, make sure to send me proof, ok?”
“Oh, you don’t know what you just got yourself into.” Again, Peter could only laugh, because judging by the amount of videos Tony sent him that day, he really was in for a treat.
Days later, on Friday, Peter got up early to go for his usual jog around the block. He was a little tired from the day before, still adjusting to his new routine at BFF – it was his third week there and they were starting to realize that Peter was a quick learner and very eager to help, so they took advantage of that, which was fine with him, he was thrilled to be able to help somehow.
So after a quick, half-assed jog around the block, he went back home, showered and decided to take the rest of the pictures Tony asked for. The man was still going nuts over the video, he wouldn’t stop talking about it and every day there was a video of him finishing himself off in their chat and Peter could hear his own voice in the background, screaming Tony’s name.
It was both embarrassing as fuck and hot as hell, so the younger man also spent a lot of those last few days in the shower trying to cool down, but Tony was not making it easier.
As much fun as that was, he was curious to see how Tony would react to the new pictures. He realized that would be the first time the older man would see him with clothes on, which sounded ridiculous, but it was true. He didn’t have many pictures on Instagram, but most of them were selfies and there were just a few where it was possible to see maybe a hint of a shirt, but that was it.
So he took the outfit he and MJ picked out and winced, remembering how much it cost, but at least he picked out clothes he might wear some day – if he had a meeting with the queen of England, for example. He put on the light gray suit by Hugo Boss, with a pink shirt with big, white dots by Levi’s Vintage underneath, black dress shoes by Brunello Cucinelli and a Gucci watch he was able to find on sale for half the original price. The whole outfit was worth around five thousand dollars, and was definitely the most money he had ever spent on – well, anything.
He checked himself in the mirror and snorted a little, he sure looked like a spoiled brat, which was probably what Tony meant by “expensive and beautiful”, so that was fine. He styled his hair so it looked effortlessly tousled, but not too much, and set his camera to take the pictures by the living room window.
He took a few pictures on the windowsill, some other leaning against the glass with his hands in his pockets, a few others looking out the window. He posed on his armchair, too, which was the only piece of furniture he had in his living room at the moment and he wished he had a decent dining table so he could pose like he was on a date with the camera, but he supposed those would do.
Once he was satisfied with what he got, he took off the clothes, put them away and went downstairs to have lunch with Ned and MJ. For the first time since he moved in with them, they both had Friday afternoon off, so they spent it together, eating junk food, watching bad TV series and playing really old tabletop games Ned had brought with him when he moved from his parents’ house.
In between a game of Monopoly and Scrabble, Peter pulled his phone out to check his messages, and was surprised to find one from Tony, sent just a few minutes earlier. He checked the time and noticed he must still be at work, so he opened it, assuming it couldn’t be anything too sexual.
“Hey, are you feeling better today? Just checking in.”
Peter frowned for a second, but a quick look at their earlier messages reminded him that he was feeling a little under the weather the day before and he’d told Tony that before he went to bed.
“Hi, Tony! I’m all better now, thanks for asking. I guess it was just allergies or something.”
He didn’t expect Tony to answer right away, but as soon as his message was sent, he started typing.
“That’s good to hear, but you need to be a little more careful with your health, kitten. Just yesterday you said you had an apple for lunch. At 4PM.”
“You’re one to talk.” Peter snorted. They always berated each other for poor eating habits. Peter was a 20 year-old bachelor living by himself and sharing meals with his equally young and dumb friends, so pizza was on the menu more often than not; Tony was a forty-eight year-old businessman with too little time to care. “Did you even eat today?”
“Don’t try to turn this around, this isn’t about me.” Peter rolled his eyes and smiled to himself. “Did you do anything fun today?”
“I took some pictures for you, it was quite fun.” He knew the mention of new pictures would get him interested in a minute.
“Don’t play with my heart, kid. When can I see them?”
“I don’t know...” He teased just a little, because he knew Tony wasn’t above begging and it was fun to watch.
“Don’t be mean to daddy, come on. He’s always so good to you.” Peter smiled, because, yeah. He was.
“I’ll send them tonight, I promise.” He decided, since they would have more time to talk then, if he sent the pictures earlier, Tony would still be at work and Peter would still be at his friends’.
“Good boy.”
“You know I am.”
“What are you smiling about? Who are you talking to?” Ned looked suspiciously at him, so he quickly put the phone down and shook his head with a nervous smile.
“Just a subscriber with a bad one-liner.”
MJ looked at him like she knew a secret, but Ned just shrugged and finished setting up the game. They ended up calling it a draw and ordering pizza afterwards, but Peter went back home early because both Ned and MJ had work the next morning.
Once he got upstairs, he went to edit Tony’s pictures and since it was still a little early to send them, he decided to check his twitter DMs. He didn’t read them very often, he already had his plate full with JustForFans, but every once in a while he checked them and answered as many as he could. Most of the messages were dick pics anyway, he just ignored those. Some others were people being nosy and asking way too personal questions, or worse, asking about Beck. He learned how to talk his way around those, but one message in particular stood out and really got to him.
“I’m so glad you’re doing okay, honey! The way Beck is with his new boy now makes me wonder if he ever even loved you. He sure moved on quickly. You’re better off without him anyway, I always liked you better.”
That sort of comment wasn’t exactly unusual, but that second part caught him a little off guard. Makes me wonder if he ever even loved you. It just – why would she say that? The way Beck is with his new boy. What way, exactly? What could he possibly be doing that made that person assume Beck never even loved him? People thought they were perfect together, they said it all the time, so much so that Peter himself was almost convinced of it for most of their relationship, so why in the hell would anyone think he loved this other guy more? To the point of assuming he didn’t even love Peter in the first place?
He was a masochist, he decided, as he opened Instagram. And not even the good kind of masochist, because there wasn’t any pleasure involved in what he was about to do, just pain. He unblocked Beck’s profiled and fucking looked. He didn’t know what he expected to find, but just looking at the first picture was enough to make him realize it was a terrible fucking idea. It was a black and white picture of him and the new guy cuddling in bed, kissing with soft smiles on their faces, captioned: “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Peter closed the app quickly, he didn’t need to see that. It meant nothing.
That picture meant nothing. That caption meant nothing. Because Beck was a fucking liar, a fucking actor, a fucking illusionist, a fucking – artist. He painted beautiful pictures, he weaved beautiful words, but none of that meant anything. Because it never meant anything when it was Peter in his arms, so why would–
Fuck, he should be over him, so fucking over him. But he really wasn’t, he would go back to that toxic environment if Beck snapped his fingers and that was scary to know. It was fucking terrifying to realize he was one text away from crawling back to him, even after all the humiliation, even after Beck just fucking up and left him with nothing – nothing – he would still go right back to his arms. He still wanted to go right back to his arms.
It made him feel pathetic and weak because he knew that what they had was toxic and abusive. And he had known that for a while, way before they split up. Deep in his soul, he knew he was living a nightmare, day after day, over and over again, but he couldn’t fucking leave. He thought Beck was all he had. He promised him forever. He promised he would always be there for him. He was all Peter had in life, and he had lost so fucking much over the years, he couldn’t afford to lose anybody else.
But he did, didn’t he? He lost Beck. He was in someone else’s arms right that second, professing his undying, fake love.
Peter took a deep breath and held it a few seconds, then exhaled slowly.
He didn’t lose anything, he was set free. He was free and he had a record to break – it had been three days since he last cried about that asshole and he didn’t plan to ruin it.
He closed Instagram and went to his Just4Fans. He posted a few pictures from a phoshoot he did earlier that week that made him feel sexy and confident, which was the opposite of how he felt at that moment, but he was going to fake it until he made it.
In a few minutes, he got lots of comments and private messages with compliments, but somehow none of them was enough to fill the empty spot Beck left when he dumped him.
Well, none except for one.
“Were you planning on giving an old man a heart attack today? ‘Cause that’s how you give an old man a heart attack.” The silly message got a smile out of him, and that was a lot considering how broken he felt.
“Lol. It wasn’t in my plans, no, but now I’m worried. Is the old man okay?” He joked, and immediately got an answer in his inbox.
“He’s waiting for you to keep your promise. Says he refuses to die before he sees some pictures of you? Do you happen to know anything about that?” Peter chuckled.
“Oh, yeah, I think I know what he’s talking about. Hold on a sec.”
He selected his ten favorite pictures with the date outfit and sent them to Tony, feeling butterflies in his stomach for reasons he couldn’t explain. He lay in bed for several minutes, staring at his phone, waiting for an answer, but the older man didn’t say anything, even though Peter could see he was still online. He started to get a little anxious, worried that he had messed up somehow, so he messaged him again.
“Well? Have I finally rendered the old man speechless?”
Almost at the same time as he sent his message, Tony replied:
“I need to see you.”
Peter’s heart almost jumped out of his mouth when he read those words, eyes widening in shock. I need to see you. He read it a few more times to make sure it meant what he thought it meant. It couldn’t possibly – Tony wouldn’t want to meet him. That would be absurd. He was – well, Peter wasn’t sure, but he sounded important most of the time, he was definitely very rich, very hardworking and he seemed like a really nice guy. So really, why would he want to meet Peter. That made absolutely no sense, obviously he meant something different than that, he just didn’t quite know what–
“Please,” said the next message, just a few seconds later.
Peter bit his lower lip, feeling his face grow warmer. Just for the hell of it, he thought – what if Tony did mean he wanted to meet him? What then? Peter couldn’t say yes, that would be insane. He didn’t even know the man, all he knew were little things about his daily life, he didn’t know his last name, if he had a family, if he was married, if he was a psychopath – he didn’t even know what he looked like!
Still, he fantasized about saying yes. But that was just a fantasy. He couldn’t do it, that would be crazy.
Right?
“You won’t regret it, I’ll treat you right.”
Well, fuck. He had to go straight for his Achilles’s heel, huh.
Peter kept staring at the bright screen of his phone, breathing slowly to try to contain his wild heart that seemed adamant to burst out of his chest cavity in the next few minutes. He didn’t know what to say. No, his brain supplied, like it was obvious, because it was, right? He couldn’t say yes, yes was not a viable answer. He had to say no, it was only a matter of how he would say it without hurting the older man’s ego.
But.
Why exactly did he have to say no? He knew there were ate least 99 good answers to that question, but he couldn’t think of one, so–
“How do I know you’re not a serial killer?” Peter asked, even though he wasn’t really worried about that, it was the last thing on his mind, to be honest.
“You’ll know.” He said, plain and simple, and not helpful at all. And still, no flight response whatsoever from Peter’s brain. His stupid mind couldn’t seem to understand that that was clearly a terrible idea.“We’ll meet in a restaurant, the best in New York, and nothing else has to happen, I promise. We’ll have a nice dinner and that’s it. I just need to see you in person.”
That sounded reasonable, didn’t it? A public place, lots of eyes on them. If Tony turned out to be a creep, he could just leave. At the very worst, he’d be disappointed and lose a very generous subscriber; at the very best, he’d get a good meal out of it and who knew what else. It sounded reasonable. So it was probably reasonable.
Right?
“Can I wear this outfit?” He asked, because, well, that was all he had to wear to New York City’s best restaurant – whatever that was.
“You must, baby.” He answered quickly, and Peter smiled to himself. “So I’ll take that as a yes, then?”
He typed a quick yes, but didn’t send it right away. He gave his brain a few seconds to come up with reasons to say no, because he knew there were good reasons for that, but he really, honestly, just wanted to say–
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” He replied right away, as if he had been staring at the phone, waiting for his answer. “I’ll set a time and place and let you know. You won’t regret it, Peter.”
Peter loved all the pet names Tony gave him, they were all sweet and funny, but when he called him by his actual name, it just hit different. It felt good. Like he wasn’t just a pretty picture in a porn app, an expensive hobby, but a person. It was hard for him to remember that, sometimes.
Some other times, it felt good to forget.
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I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!
Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)
@eligos-venator
- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.
@mischiefandmystics
- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.
@mishivymendi
- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.
@asymphonyofash
- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.
@lavender-hemlock
- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them.
(Encore 20 below-cut)
@under-the-blood-moonlight
- Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you!
@roxinova
- I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend.
@corpse-dancer
- Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar.
@fair-fae
- Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance.
@thorcat
- One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything.
@lukawarrioroflight
- I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone.
@scholarlybreadbun
- I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them.
@seascrapes
- Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king.
@mai-takeda
- Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes
under.
@zhauric
- It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing.
@cadrenebula
- They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in.
@silvernsteel
- Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me.
@spotofmummery
- We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks.
@snow-covered-moon
- They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by.
@letheofthelost
- Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another.
@crow-iv
- Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness.
@trishelle
- They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you.
@fracturedfantasia
- One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full
head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure.
@violet-warder
- Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable.
@layla-grey
- I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer.
-----
This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat.
I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you.
And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.
#I acknowledge you#Love you#Keep doing you#Asks answered#I'm the one guy who's never not going to be filtered or unspoken#To many people have left or been broken#Don't you ever think about it.#There's so many many more#But I'll recharge for next time
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sly’s archive
wounie
Untitled
clinkreaper514-blog
토토놀이터추천＼＼【 ＫＯＮ２０。ＣＯＭ 】
onechanart
onechanART