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slowbrunette-archived · 10 months

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my experience on here-is-boston-hq-rpg

⚠️ tw for trauma, SA and harassment related topics ⚠️

by the beginning of this month, i went through this mentally and emotionally traumatic experience on this NSFW rp server. it took a significant toll on a half of my energy to try roleplaying. even though i try to keep it up and not let ruin it but is difficult. therefore, i'm tired of remaining silent about it.

the situation is long and i will do my best to make it shorter. i joined there on april and things started very well, so well that i was thinking i could stay there for a long time by how easily things went by. this is for venting matters. for security and privacy purposes, i will not link their promo tumblr URL or mention the admin names.

if you happen to know the individuals who run and/or write on the server, please don't send direct hate to none of them or the parties involved. i will be more than glad to answer any questions, doubts or details through dm.

i applied with my ocs and the reception was rave. it made me quickly and easily attached to the people as i also grew to admire their writing too, besides wanting and trying to befriend them. however, it all started to change and go downhill by mid-end of may as i started experiencing one-sided vibes, feeling ignored, left out and pretty like the energy was no longer being returned. as someone who has experienced these patterns on several previous times before in rp, the way my gut, along with my PTSD sense this is quick.

i tried to talk about this in private and properly to the admins in the most polite way i could, that how i pretty much felt like the affective responsability was no longer there. i remember physically shaking and crying as i broke down how i exactly sensed these patterns to the admin, i went as specific as i could in hopes to make some sense. however, all i got in return was that admin asking me to tell this to the lead admin and away, tag me on something in a server with my name on it and basically telling me to say what i just told them.

obviously, this made me much uncomfortable and baffled as of why they'd only say that and think me going through that on the server with the admins would be a great idea. yet i still kept the patience and told them that it was more comfortable for me to discuss things 1x1 rather than the tag at the server and doing the whole opposite. seconds after and in return, i was falsely accused by the server main admin of such vile and disgusting things i never did. like guilt-tripping, manipulation, coercion and being a creep overall by the main admin of that server. after i stated i preferred to discuss things in separate, the admins still created the "private" tag circle in which they added me. not only i was accused of such gross things i've been through, they literally cornered me to...try to punish me for voicing my feelings, for properly asking for basic human respect. i literally haven't felt so cornered since all the bullying i went through in middle school.

the funniest part and one of the many hypocrite moves here is that there were people doing truly questionable things in which they turned blind eyes for and got more insensitive like writing fantasy r*pe, dub-con and non-con. some creep submitted millie bobby brown on the 'wanted fcs' tag - this is a rp server of pure smut. millie is barely 18 or 19, has been objectified and sexually harassed by many people in the industry ever since she was a child. none of them seemed to be bothered by that. talking about selective hatred and them also having me as the scape goat.

i've been doing my best to move on, not give up on rp, finding ways to recover but frankly is very difficult still. it has open many fresh new wounds on my trauma layers. it is not fair that a server that so claims to be "very open, welcoming and accepting" of all people, minorities, with all kinds of mental struggles and everyone acts the opposite, while hurting others like me with their favoritism and witch hunt schemes.

#rp discord drama #discord rp wank #discord rp #cheri talks: discord rp drama #cheri talks: discord rp toxicity want #toxic discord rp #discord roleplay #toxic discord rp discourse #here-is-to-boston-rpg

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ignisnatione · 8 months

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The RPC is fucked up and it's our fault for letting toxic people join our communities and allowing them to misbehave, brushing it to the side thinking it will fix itself in the end. It hasn't. Then they cry wolf whenever their bad behaviors are pointed out. We should stop sympathizing with these toxic roleplayers, and start calling them what they are. Bad roleplayers. Start kicking these people out and stop forgiving them. They don't deserve it. They will destroy you, and whatever circles you are in. Whether that be in Discord RP Groups or Tumblr RP Groups. It starts with bubbling, it starts with these dick measuring contest, and these incessant needs to be the center of attention. Give them nothing. They deserve nothing until they can behave better. If they want to act like middle schoolers. Treat them like it.

#roleplay #discord rp #discord #ooc #drama #vent #toxic roleplayers #roleplayers #rpc #roleplay drama #roleplayer drama #rp discourse #roleplay discourse #discourse #discord discourse

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lcftyambiticns · 2 months

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♔ ❛ ℐ serve no 𝐆𝐎𝐃 but that which stares back at me ——— in the 𝒎irror. ❜

𝑰nd. &. sel. 25+ 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐔𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐄 roleplay blog for ℒORROAKAN ; self-appointed MASTER OF RAMAZITH'S TOWER &. GREAT ARCHMAGE of Baldur's Gate. TRIGGER WARNING for dark / adult content.

𝓱is ❛ amakiir ❜ : @shadovan

INFO & LINKS UNDER THE CUT.

HEADCANONS OPEN STARTERS MEME TAG STORIES: ✍︎ ℳEMORIES.

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

I. GNEREAL I also write on Discord! Feel free to ask for it if we're mutuals c:

25+ ONLY. I'm turning 29 this year, and I'd like to write with people in my age range.

This is no space for OOC drama, IRL political discourse, people who can't differentiate fiction from reality and think it's okay to police adults on what to write on their blogs (go touch some grass). Hard-block. I will also opt for blocking instead of soft-blocking if our rules clash, if you have numerous triggers / DNIs, or to avoid misunderstandings. In most cases, it's nothing against you personally.

Yeah, so. This is a 25+ blog, run by a 25+ mun, and there will be adult content, including but not limited to: violence, abuse, gore, monsters, gaslighting, manipulation, canon-typical fantasy racism and overall offensive / problematic themes. Triggers won't always be tagged. If you're triggered by any of these, this blog isn't for you.

Communication is key!! You'd like to share an idea? Go right ahead. Don't like where the plot is going? Let me know. You want to scream about our muses? YES. Writing is so much more fun if the muns get along. I promise, I don't bite.

II. INTERACTION I'm selective and mutuals only. If I don't follow back, it's likely because you're not a BG3 / D&D related blog, I already have a lot of threads, too much formatting, or I feel our muses / writing styles don't mesh. Additionally, if your rules mention steering clear of the topics / triggers mentioned above, I won't follow. We don't have to write anything that makes you uncomfortable (!!!exclamation mark!!111!), but they might come up.

If I follow you, I want to interact! Don't be shy <3 I will also assume that if you follow me back, you're fine with me sending you memes / tagging you in starters / sliding into your IMs to plot.

MEMES. I'm a feral meme goblin. Please don't ever feel obligated to answer the 517 memes I've sent you (or any at all), and in return, feel free to bombard my inbox. Even if we already have 3,670 threads. Idc fam, send me more. We haven't interacted yet? Meme. I haven't answered your meme yet? My muse probably didn't vibe with it, send another. Send memes. I may not respond to all of them and not every meme will spark a new thread, but... send memes. If you want to turn a meme into a thread, DO IT. No need to ask.

I prefer to keep it simple when it comes to formatting. It looks cool, but reading paragraph after paragraph of double spaced text hurts my eyes.

I'm a big fan of making my muses suffer :D I love angst and exploring dark, gritty plots. If you have any triggers, let me know before jumping into a RP with me, aka the angst queen, so we're all on the same page.

My ADHD often influences my activity. Sometimes I'll reply super fast, sometimes it takes me ages, and sometimes I can only focus on specific threads / muses.

III. DUH Mun =/= Muse, I obviously don't condone any of Lorroakan's bs IRL. He isn't a nice person. He is a toxic, abusive piece of work. While I will absolutely respect your boundaries OOC (if you talk to me beforehand about them, pretty please with a cherry on top), I won't tone him down on main. If that's not your cup of tea, block buttons exist. Use them.

Please don't soft-block me, I have the memory of a soggy pickle. Hard-block.

Protecting your online space is a mature thing to do, and I promise I'll 100% support that. No questions asked, no hard feelings. We're all here to have a good time.

IV. SHIPPING / RELATIONSHIPS Speaking of having a good time: We're sex-positive and kink-friendly in this house. I enjoy a raunchy smut-driven RP as much as the next depraved soul, but I won't write smut on the dash. The steamy stuff will be moved to discord or IMs.

This blog is multiship, male lean. Matter of fact, I love to ship, so if that's something you'd like to do, slide into my inbox. Fair warning; Lorroakan isn't particularly interested in romance or sex, and he's a prick. Ships will most likely be toxic / one-sided (with the potential to develop into something wholesome over time!).

Pre-established relationships: Yes. I usually don't do romantic pre-established relationships (some exceptions may be made for "what if" scenarios, or if I know the mun), but what if your muse was Lorroakan's childhood bestie? Another (former?) apprentice? A fellow scholar of the arcane he used to work with?

V. MUN They/Them, hatched 1995, dog parent, hyperfixating on problematic villains, D&D player.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄

GENERAL Lorroakan is in his early-mid 30s, fairly young considering his achievements (mostly obtained through deceitful methods).

He presents himself as the great archmage of Baldur's Gate, but while he is a compentent wizard and keen enchanter, he is nowhere near as powerful as he claims to be.

Lorroakan laid claim to Ramazith Tower after its previous owner mysteriously disappearend, and he refuses to share the knowledge it holds (at least for free).

He is originally from Athkatla, one of the wealthiest cities in Faerun, but he grew up in the shadows of its splendor. His family (mother, father, two sisters, four brothers) could barely make ends meet, but Lorroakan has always been ambitious and harbored dreams of one day being just as wealthy and powerful as the elite of the Gem District. The practice or use of arcane magic is explicitly illegal within the city of Athkatla, but that didn't stop him; he practiced in secret whenever he could get his hands on a spellbook.

PERSONALITY IN A NUTSHELL . . . as interpreted by the mun ; Ambitious, diligent, intelligent, clever, creative ; selfish, arrogant, manipulative, power-hungry, petty, vain.

He has a superiority complex ; he is vain, has an overly high opinion of himself, makes boastful claims that aren't backed up by reality, has a habit of putting down those who outshine him. In truth, behind his inflated ego, he is insecure and has low self-esteem. Not that he'd ever admit that. In fact, he wouldn't even admit it to himself.

(The way I see it) Lorroakan isn't a straight up villain. However, his ambitions and narcissistic nature drive him to commit morally questionable, and at times, outright despicable acts.

CHARACTER STUDIES / RELEVANT HEADCANONS: bad money habits more about his past & why he is how he is

Shippy HCs CONs of being his lover PROs of being his lover NSFW headcanons

#꧁ * pinned !#DNI.

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tinogiehd · 2 years

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how benchers have reacted to george and sap every time they are menaces on the server has made me so evil about it. like it makes me want them to go on a spree of blacklisting members just bc they can and set twitter ablaze and i would be in the trenches defending them on principle at this point. like freak behavior to demand they be removed from THEIR SERVER over kidnapping a fucking minecraft mob or blowing up shit. like personally it has made me so evil i hope they burn every build on that server to the ground. they all need reminders that the DREAM TEAM SMP wouldn’t exist for their favs to rp on without 2/3 of the DREAM TEAM. also them retconning the pignapping and just getting a different mob was boring that whole rescuing stream i was waiting with baited breath for something to happen and then Nothing Did they just got the pig and that’s it like. canonizing george and sapnap’s months long plan would’ve been more interesting for the storyline. also my peak was the stream it happened on like it’s when they announced that george and sap were gonna meet up and dream reading eret’s message while not being able to stop laughing and george and sapnap also dying while evil music was playing was literally the highlight of dteam content at that time like That Is Them. Their Dynamic In Its Purest Form. and the way eret has come on here multiple times to write essays complaining about miscommunication in the dsmp discord as if telling the tumblrinas is gonna solve what you see as issues rather than Talking To Dream About It has made me less and less sympathetic to the pov of “they shouldn’t have read eret’s message!! it was rude and disrespectful and terrible rp etiquette!!” <- sorry the toxic dteamolo came out for that rant. can’t wait for the lore discourse to drop when george doesn’t meet his required dsmp streaming hours and dream doesn’t care

I HATEEEEE fans micromanaging what creators do like do u forget that all lore started from fucking around 😭😭 dreamteam started that damn server and they will die with it like shut up idk if you don’t like them being crazy insane it’s more enjoyable that most scripted lore (quackity is an outlier my babygirl boyfriend can do no wrong <333)

#so many fans are so entitled #and i think that comes with being young and inexperienced in fan ettiquette but i hate it #aya asks

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darko-rp · 1 year

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"This is a message to Scott Cawthon.."

THIS IS AN RP BLOG FOR DAWKO'S DARK PERSONA, DARKO

!!RP BLOG RULES!!

are you okay with writing nsfw/do you plan to? [No, we don't plan to do nsfw. And we aren't okay with it on this blog.]

do you/how do you tag your triggers? so people can block them. [we do #tw(example trigger)]

do you plan to post a lot of ooc? if so, is there a certain tag you will use that partners can filter? [#ooc, we might post a bit of ooc stuff, but not much]

are you okay with writing toxic relationships and similar triggers? [No]

does your muse’s backstory contain triggers that may be mentioned a lot? [Not really, but if there is we'll be sure to tag it]

will you be posting discourse? how will you tag it? [Not planning to]

any common triggers that your blog will likely contain? [Likely weapons, fighting, knives]

etiquette:

can personals follow you? if they can, can they reblog/like threads? will you block them on sight? what if they’re your friends? if their rp blog is a sideblog of their personal, should they message you first to let you know, or assume that you will check it out/message them? [Personals can follow, but we'd like to be informed if they have an RP sideblog. We don't normally message first.]

are you bothered by people posting a lot of ooc? is it okay as long as they tag it (so you can filter it?) [We don't mind a lot of ooc]

do you send in passwords to show you’ve read rules? does your rules page have a password? [we don't have a password, but if your blog does we'll send it in]

do you like to be reminded to respond to a thread? if so, how should they? (PM, inbox, discord, etc.) [PM works if you don't have our disc, but we might not see it. If you have our discord, please use it.]

do you expect to be notified if a thread is dropped? do you drop threads? how long will it take for you to drop a thread or ship for inactivity? [A notification would be nice, yes. We'll try to notify if we drop your thread.]

do you tend to use the block button liberally? what are some reasons for you blocking? [We block for impromptu NSFW, or general harrassment.]

about interacting/rping with you:

are you a multimuse or singlemuse? [Singlemuse, for now]

are you mutuals only? [Not exclusively, but if you try to interact with us we'd at least like a follow.]

will you roleplay crossovers, or only in-fandom? [Crossovers are great! We plan to do crossovers! In-fandom is cool too, but I haven't seen that many RP blogs for the IRIS universe.]

will you write with duplicates? will you follow duplicates? or will you block on sight, or merely not interact? [I mean, if there ARE any, we will be following them, but I don't know about a roleplay with them.]

will you write with multimuses? with personals? [Of course!]

are there types of ships (or if you writing a canon muse, specific ships) you won’t write? such as large age gaps (recommend putting a number), etc. [We won't be doing ships for this blog at all.]

do you expect fast/slow replies? [We don't mind either kind, really.]

should they match your length? [It doesn't matter.]

do you prefer long/short replies? [It doesn't matter.]

do you care if your partner has fancy graphics/themes? [Not at all! Get as fancy as you want.]

do you expect your partner to use icons? [It's not expected, but if you want to that's fine.]

should your partner use formatting? (especially if you have eyesight problems; many people are willing to accommodate and not use formatting for threads they have with you) [No, it's fine!]

how active are you? [It depends on our schedule, but normally semi-active.]

how long will it take for you to unfollow someone for inactivity? does this change if they have a hiatus notice? [We don't unfollow for inactivity]

are you open to shipping? [No.]

if you’re writing a canon muse: are you selective with ocs? will you write with ocs that are related to a canon character/your muse? is your muse canon divergent in important ways? if your muse is canonly in a relationship with someone, is it okay for a person with your muse’s canon partner to assume a ship with you? [We don't do ships, but we will gladly interact with OCs]

do you like plotting? if so, should they have an idea for a plot before they message you? [Plotting is okay, but it's not necessary. ]

how busy are you with out-of-rp life? [Not very busy.]

#darko #dawko #rp blog #ooc #rules

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mothohive-real · 1 year

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THE BEAST CALLS OUT TO YOU.

!!RP BLOG RULES!!

are you okay with writing nsfw/do you plan to? [No, we don't plan to do nsfw. And we aren't okay with it on this blog. (please don't fuck the moth.)]

do you/how do you tag your triggers? so people can block them. [we do #tw(example trigger)]

do you plan to post a lot of ooc? if so, is there a certain tag you will use that partners can filter? [#ooc moth, we might post a bit of ooc stuff, but not much]

are you okay with writing toxic relationships and similar triggers? [No]

does your muse’s backstory contain triggers that may be mentioned a lot? [Not really, but if there is we'll be sure to tag it]

will you be posting discourse? how will you tag it? [Not planning to, but if we do, the tag will be #mothdiscourse]

will you reblog callouts? if so, will you tag them? [#mothcallouts]

will you post vagues or other drama? how will you tag them? [#mothdrama #mothvague]

any common triggers that your blog will likely contain? [Likely weapons, fighting, caps (seeing as large creatures tend to be loud)]

etiquette:

are you bothered by people posting a lot of ooc? is it okay as long as they tag it (so you can filter it?) [We don't mind a lot of ooc]

do you send in passwords to show you’ve read rules? does your rules page have a password? [we don't have a password, but if your blog does we'll send it in]

do you tend to use the block button liberally? what are some reasons for you blocking? [We block for impromptu NSFW, or general harrassment.]

about interacting/rping with you:

are you a multimuse or singlemuse? [Singlemuse]

are you mutuals only? [Not exclusively, but if you try to interact with us we'd at least like a follow.]

will you roleplay crossovers, or only in-fandom? [Crossovers are great! We plan to do crossovers! In-fandom is cool too, but I haven't seen that many RP blogs for the IRIS universe.]

will you write with multimuses? with personals? [Of course!]

are there types of ships (or if you writing a canon muse, specific ships) you won’t write? such as large age gaps (recommend putting a number), etc. [We won't be doing ships for this blog at all.]

do you expect fast/slow replies? [We don't mind either kind, really.]

should they match your length? [It doesn't matter.]

do you prefer long/short replies? [It doesn't matter.]

do you care if your partner has fancy graphics/themes? [Not at all! Get as fancy as you want.]

do you expect your partner to use icons? [It's not expected, but if you want to that's fine.]

should your partner use formatting? (especially if you have eyesight problems; many people are willing to accommodate and not use formatting for threads they have with you) [No, it's fine!]

how active are you? [It depends on our schedule, but normally semi-active.]

how long will it take for you to unfollow someone for inactivity? does this change if they have a hiatus notice? [We don't unfollow for inactivity]

are you open to shipping? [No.]

do you like plotting? if so, should they have an idea for a plot before they message you? [Plotting is okay, but it's not necessary. ]

how busy are you with out-of-rp life? [Not very busy.]

#dagames #mothohive #ooc moth #[mod lewis]#[mod moth]#iris official

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wscldier · 3 years

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mun views: 4,9,15

meme

4. On your fandom

on the whole, i find the marvel fandom to be very inclusive, very positive and very affirming. when you’ve been writing in a particular fandom for this many years it becomes old hat. people come and go, people write for a while then leave or start new blogs and those muses are their thing. the marvel fandom has generally been the most consistent. but... sadly, like a lot of things, the older it gets, the more toxic it can become. hate that’s generated for no reason towards particular characters ----- particularly female characters. lots of discourse on what should and shouldn’t be done which can be exhausting and everyone can be yelling so loud i’m left sitting here just like, let me read my comics and watch my movies and collect my toys in peace. i don’t want to get involved in drama or politics or anything like that. i don’t care about certain actors lives or whatever. i’m old. i’ve been here a long time. the marvel fandom is sadly one of those fandoms that doesn’t believe that people can learn and grow and change. it’s exhausting. and i’ma crumudgeon.

9. On OOC posts.

listen, you created a blog for yourself. no one else. you made this blog about your favorite character and it’s up to you how little or how much you post ooc. i’ve met blogs that keep things strictly in character and they dm you their discord to remain completely in character on their dash. i’ve known blogs that maybe do one or two threads a week, the rest is more ore less them just being excited about being surrounded by these writers. there is no set limit on how many ooc posts or how little ooc posts you should make. it’s your blog. no one elses.

15. On tumblr.

oh boy

okay well let me preface by saying, i’ve been on tumblr since about 2009. give or take a few months. and i’ve been rping for pretty much the same amount of time and in that time, tumblr has become from one of the most fun websites out there to a graveyard. very few people actually exist on this website anymore, compared to the hey-day between 2010-2015. and a lot of that has to do with the stigma around being on a blogging platform and talking about your interests in length, the generally negative connotations that this website comes with (dashc0n and mishapocalypse spring instantly to mind) but i think also, over the years tumblr has become more and more inaccessible to people. it’s become all about aesthetics ------- particularly in rp. and don’t get me wrong, aesthetics are nice and having a beautiful blog is very satisfying, but it puts people off writing here because they feel they can’t match up.

it is also, sadly, one of the very few sites available that allows this kind of in-depth writing. tungle allows us to tag posts, write as much as we want in a single post or as little, lets us have icons and pictures in text posts, we can do read-mores and links in the text. very few webistes offer these sort of features. so whilst tumblr really kind of isn’t amazing, it’s really very much the only thing that rpers like me have. and i mean that not in a hyperbolic way. i mean literally. i used to rp on bebo and myspace and sadly... twitter. all of which these platforms did not give the versatility of tumblr. tumblr rp is very very unique and very very interesting for that very reason. because no one hates tumblr more than tumblr users.

#artivexed #|| ANSWERED #|| OOC

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preathfics · 4 years

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Heath17_KO5 AMA responses

Thanks to Heath17_KO5 for answering these for folks.

You can reach her on the preathfics discord if you have follow up questions!

hardtchill said: mom will love us forever?

Yes, yes. *pat pat*

What inspired KO/Sonnett? I mean, we've seen Soran around, but not very many good Fics of that pairing.

That you can blame on blak0tyler. She started writing them, and I was like “I don’t really ship it because I think they’re too similar, but I love your writing, so I’ll read” and then by the end of the fic I was like “Damn, I kinda see it now.” I think for me it’s partially just that I really enjoy writing both characters (or did anyway). It’s fun to write characters that on the surface can be snide or sarcastic or goofy, but then underneath can have more layers and provide other things to a fic.

ARE YOU THE ANON SUMMER SHORTS???? 👀

Nope! Not me!

Will you write more angsty stuff? Bc you write wonderfully... but it's just all so damn happy!

Hi there musingpredeliction. I think it’s hard for me to have angsty ideas for Preath, and I’m likely to still have happy endings. I was just talking to someone last night about how real life can be hard and can suck so when I turn to fiction, I want it to at least be hopeful, to do things like make me believe in true love (though I am one of the lucky ones that has found that in real life), make me believe in happy endings and beautiful lives, make me believe in magic. If you’d like more angst, I suggest reading more of my Soran or So’hara

Favorite WOSO person IRL? Favorite one to write?

IRL? Idk. It’s hard to judge when I don’t actually know any in real life. Rose holds a special place in my heart. Tobin’s footwork is magic and her laid back, goofy personality makes me swoon. Christen is the epitome of beauty to me both physically and just who she is (or at least who she shows us publicly). I honestly love so many of them. Sonny, KO (yes, still, though I am disappointed and hope she learns and grows), Julie, CRYSTAL!! Moving on from the USWNT, I’m a big fan of Emily Menges (one of the league’s most underrated defenders), Simone Charley, Midge Purce, Jennifer Cujoe, Sarah Gorden, Yuki Nagasato, Casey Short, Ali Riley, the list goes on. Lol. And on a more international player level: Tiane Endler, Mapi Leon, Jenni Hermoso, Sam Kerr, Hayley Raso, (actually a bunch of the Aussies), Vivianne Miedema, and so many more.

Favorite one to write is a bit easier: Emily Sonnett.

is with fandom culture that she is having a problem or the preath fandom specifically? also, i really love her writing, for both preath and soran so i hope that, if she retires, she doesn't delete her work, please! and man, the kelley situation, it's been really hard for us readers and for the writers…

Here’s the thing: part of what I have a problem with about Kelley is the fandom’s response to her. I’m disappointed by her not kneeling. I think she really needs to have more hard conversations and examine why she stood apart from game one and hopefully learn and grow. I’m disappointed in the culture of cancelling someone because they don’t learn and grow on the timeline you see fit, though. That now people will write off entire stories because a CHARACTER version of Kelley (that the authors have created themselves, let’s not forget), is part of it even if those stories were begun before the tournament happened. That her kneeling or not discounts her skill on the field or her actions off the field that we’re unaware of. Again, we only see a part of them, what they publicly show us, and I am very disappointed that she didn’t show us her kneeling for the anthem beyond game one, but I’m also aware that she may be taking steps I have no idea about. I’m not trying to start a discourse, though I’m sure this will, but that’s part of my issue. And then there’s the trickiness that comes of being part of an RPS/RPF fandom, where there’s the distinction between fiction and reality, between what we’d like to be true and what we 100% know. I don’t mean to cast aspersions. I’m not here to judge you anymore than I’m here to judge them.

What brought you to Preathfics, or rather just the WOSO fanfic community in general?

I have always been a soccer fan. I played through high school. But fanfic you can thank lesbianrobinhood for. I was not looking for a new fandom, but she dragged me kicking and screaming anyway. It’s usually the way.

What pairing do you most enjoy writing for? Why?

Hmmm...That depends on what I’m in the mood for. I like writing Soran or So’Hara if I’m feeling angsty or Preath if I’m not, but really it’s more about the individual story than the pairing: which idea captures my attention most in a moment. That said, as I said in another answer: I love writing Sonny, so if I get to write her, even if she’s just the supporting friend to Preath, I am a happy person.

Do you have a favorite fic? Can you make a list like Preathfics did of your faves?

Oooh, ummm...I mean anything by Blake0tyler for sure. I could (and have) read her stuff over and over and over. I love, love, LOVE Here I Am (Signed, Sealed, Delivered), by freshtilapia. I really enjoy The Restaurant by little_oblivion for a great ensemble piece. The One Where Everyone Finds Out is another great one (and all of LittleDanvers’s stuff really). I love the imagery in Portrait of a Soccer Player on Fire by restlessvirtue. Entwined by superdupergust is very good (and hot). And for non-preath one of my faves is unbecomings (but their stuff is locked).

Do you have a favorite fic that you've written before?

Like of my own? Umm...The Time Between or Orlando is Only Home When It Has You, although so far I really like something that is as yet unpublished, and I’m enjoying the way folklore is turning out with JustCrushALot.

what's your favorite color?

Green!

Can you ask her why did she suddenly decide to update orgasm fic?

….Should I not? I have a hard time writing smut. I have to be in the right mindset and I haven’t been there in a while, but then I was, so I was like “Let me try” and it worked out.

are you planning on writing anymore explicit preath fics/oneshots?! The one up rn are soooo good!!

Umm...that depends. If I get the inspiration, then yes, certainly, I wouldn’t rule it out. Also I have a bet right now with blake0tyler about something which should result in smut from one of us at least.

To the amazing author of Worth a Thousand words: the story is beautifully written, it's funny, sweet and different from other fics. I totally get the KO thing and I do agree with you on that one but know that it's a fantastic story. (Everything you write is)❤️

❤️ Thank you! That is incredibly sweet! I really appreciate you saying so. ❤️

My opinion isn’t worth much as an anon but I loved Worth a Thousand Words and whoever gave it bad feedback can go suck an egg.

Haha, thank you. I’m glad that you enjoy it!

Heath17_KO5's feelings are so darn relatable, I'm crying just from reading the words fear, disillusionment and disappointment. Creative people are often highly sensitive people and when they feel things, they FEEL things. Wishing you strenghth, clarity and insight, Heath17_KO5. I hope you keep finding joy in the written word, as we do in YOUR written word.

❤️ That is very lovely of you to say. Thank you. Please don’t shed any tears on my account though!

heath17_ko5 is having problems with fandom in general or with the woso/preath fandom? that's a shame, but she should do what is best for her :)

Thank you, I appreciate that. I mean, I think in all fandoms there is a toxic element, but as this is the only fandom I’m currently active in, it’s this one. And it’s not all of you, please don’t think that. I sort of explained in another ask.

I just love Heath17_KO5's stories and everything they contribute. Is there any chance the author will pursue Beacon of Light? No pressure or anything. I just thought it had such a sweet premise. And I am a sucker for a good storm story :D

I am working on chapter 2, it’s just slow going.

#asks

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floof-reppu · 4 years

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my reasons

you know what, after reading that i’ve decided to word my reasons for refusing to join back into the mha writing fandom.

tw: mentions of depression, mentions of death threats, mentions of mental illness

back when i first made my blog, i was excited to finally be able to get some actual, quality writing out for an anime/manga that I had just gotten into through the convincing of my friends back in july. my blog was pretty, pretty small back then and there wasn’t ANY of the drama that was/is going on currently. life was just about as happy as it could be until the discourse started in the bnharem server of which i was apart of since day one until the day i was banned in march.

background information about me: i have a very, very mild form of autism that inhibits my understanding of certain situations. i have severe anxiety, ptsd and childhood trauma. none of this excuses any of the behavior that i have ever had, however, it explains the reason why i have acted the way that I have in the past.

the drama in the server started around december. a month or so before (the timeline is unclear for me and i refuse to go through archives of posts just to find it), i had been receiving anon hate. not only that, but I was getting accused of sending it to myself. these mean, awful, hateful messages, and someone was blaming ME for sending them to myself to get attention. i would never send hate messages to myself for attention, and i have never sent a hate message to anyone period.

december,

came around and i was on winter break from university. i was getting more accustomed to talking in the bnharem server after being inactive because of my own reasons. i was upset that it seemed like there were favorites in the server (and there were, you CANNOT tell me that they didn’t play favorites in there) and vented in the sfw vent channel that was there. i was inadvertently accused of starting drama over my own feelings on the matter and the entire situation escalated.

january,

i brought up through a dm how i felt uncomfortable with people drinking in the VC and how there was a statement made about having a writing “collab” sort of thing where everyone would write something while they were drinking. was brushed off and said that it was supposed to be taken as a joke and not seriously.

there was a number of people (i will not name names because that is NOT who i am) of which made a RP server for our OCs, and that will be brought up later. i was beginning to write less and less on the blog as time went on, and resorted to writing only the collabs at one point and a few trades.

february,

was and apparently had been blocked by one of the admins. contacted a different admin about the situation and was told to “message” them yet there was no possible way that I could have messaged them if I was blocked.

in between january and february i was personally added by two of the admins in a private discord chat to get told that some of the things i said on the server made people uncomfortable and made people leave. i highly, HIGHLY doubt this because of the shit going around, but i was forced to apologize.

during this time i had also went on the RP server mentioned above complaining to others about specific admins because of certain things that i didn’t like. haha. biggest mistake of my life APPARENTLY since one of the admins ended up joining the RP server and reading up on the messages. that is when everything started to escalate.

that aforementioned drama was brought up in the private discord chat, and i was also forced to apologize then.

march is when everything when to shit,

i was in a private server with one other person from the server. on march 8th, i was banned from the server with this lovely message that i will block out any names and information that i deem unnecessary or private.

after,

this was the message i was sent, followed by an hour and a half voice call, the first thirty minutes of which i was yelled at, told horrible things, bad enough that i had to go to my friend’s dorm room across the hall because i couldn’t stop having panic attacks and breakdowns.

NOT ONLY was i banned from the server, but i lost a ton of “friends”. yeah right, friends. friends would know that everyone is just human instead of being manipulated by other people to “leave” me and “desert” me. you can sit here and tell me all you want that those people in the server are fine, but they act/ed like an entire fucking cult. if you don’t fit in with their clique, you’re outcasted to the point that well, people start shitting on you.

undocumented because the asks were deleted were many, MANY asks telling me to kill myself. that i wasn’t wanted on the earth because of many aforementioned reasons above. all anon. no single, named username was among those. have a clue who probably did those, too?

do i have anything against them? at first i did. now i just don’t give a shit because it just goes to show how toxic the fandom fucking is. if you’re a writing blog, i suggest you stay away from big servers. i suggest you figure out who your real friends are first. i don’t care if i lose followers on this blog or if i gain because it doesn’t really matter. i only write for MHA still because i know that’s what people followed me for. but I will never try to openly associate myself with a sole MHA blog again unless they come to me first, which i highly doubt.

#bnharem #author speaks #tw: mental illness #tw: death threat #tw: depression

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marley-warriors · 4 years

Note

I doubt you remember me, but my name is Kelly. We used to rp a lot of Bertholdt x Armin (I still love that ship). I mainly rp via discord nowadays, but I was thinking of making a multi-muse rp blog including Reiner. But the fandom seems to grow thinner every day. I'm not sure it's worth the energy.

Hey Kelly!! Of course I remember you! Sorry that I haven’t been on discord, I have just been taking a break from everything. I haven’t forgotten about you, I just have been dealing with personal stuff as well as losing my interest in this fandom.

But you are right. The fandom seems to be crumbling. I’m not sure what to say. There’s a lot of toxic discourse and hate. I mean, that’s nothing new, but it feels like its getting worse. So I really don’t know. If you feel passionate for it, you should go for it! All depends on how much you want to put up with. I myself have decided to just go multi-interests. I’m slowly changing this blog to suit my interests, so yeah. I am still up to rping with you once I feel more settled though!

#ooc #asks #only noticed the freaken spelling mistakes after

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rulesofroleplay · 5 years

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things to include in rp blogs’ rules!

note: these are not all necessary, but commonly found/are things that potential partners may look for before following!

content warnings:

are you okay with writing nsfw/do you plan to?

do you/how do you tag your triggers? so people can block them.

do you plan to post a lot of ooc? if so, is there a certain tag you will use that partners can filter?

are you okay with writing toxic relationships/r*pe and other triggers?

does your muse’s backstory contain triggers that may be mentioned a lot?

will you be posting discourse? how will you tag it?

will you reblog callouts? if so, will you tag them?

will you post vagues or other drama? how will you tag them?

any common triggers that your blog will likely contain?

etiquette:

do you practice inbox karma? (people should only reblog the rp meme from you if they’ve sent the prompt to you, first)

are you bothered by people posting a lot of ooc? is it okay as long as they tag it (so you can filter it?)

do you send in passwords to show you’ve read rules? does your rules page have a password?

do you like to be reminded to respond to a thread? if so, how should they? (PM, inbox, discord, etc.)

do you expect to be notified if a thread is dropped? do you drop threads? how long will it take for you to drop a thread or ship for inactivity?

do you tend to use the block button liberally? what are some reasons for you blocking?

about interacting/rping with you:

are you a multimuse or singlemuse?

are you mutuals only?

will you roleplay crossovers, or only in-fandom?

will you write with duplicates? will you follow duplicates? or will you block on sight, or merely not interact? if someone ships with you, do you expect that they not ship with a duplicate? (ship exclusives)

will you write with multimuses? with personals?

are there types of ships (or if you writing a canon muse, specific ships) you won’t write? such as large age gaps (recommend putting a number), etc.

will you be doing mains/exclusives?

do you expect fast/slow replies?

should they match your length?

do you prefer long/short replies?

do you care if your partner has fancy graphics/themes?

do you expect your partner to use icons?

should your partner use formatting? (especially if you have eyesight problems; many people are willing to accommodate and not use formatting for threads they have with you)

how active are you?

how long will it take for you to unfollow someone for inactivity? does this change if they have a hiatus notice?

are you open to shipping?

are you singleship or multiship? or one ship per verse? do you only ship with one version of a character? are you looking for romantic ships/have any in mind that you’re hopeful about writing?

do you like plotting? if so, should they have an idea for a plot before they message you?

how busy are you with out-of-rp life?

a link to a credits page, if applicable.

a link to your psa tag.

a link to your wishlist/desired plots tag.

a link to your muses’ relationship page, if applicable.

a link to your verses page.

a link to your mains / exclusives page, if applicable.

more non-mun related:

a link to your rpthreadtracker if you have one

will you follow genderbends? (here are some links on why people don’t like them, though be aware that not all trans people agree whether they’re bad or not, and, especially you’re cis, you should educate yourself first before making a personal opinion)

are there certain fandoms you won’t interact with? for example, if they squick/trigger you, if you don’t like the fandom, or if the content itself is harmful to you.

are there certain ages of muns / characters you won’t interact with?

& other things you do or do not take into account when following?

any disclaimers about your muse? (ex: if you write saitama from one punch man, his character is based on the fact that he can beat anybody, so while it may seem like godmodding if he wins any fight to someone who doesn’t know the series, if you add that in your rules that it’s to be expected, people will be aware when they follow you)

a link to your tag navigation page.

a mun section/about you:

how old you are. some people only like following people in their age range, or refuse to follow minors, or refuse to follow adults, simply because it makes them uncomfortable. this also goes by trust, but it is important to include if you want to write smut; if you’re under 18, this is illegal. if you don’t want to say a specific age, an age range (ex: 14-16, 21+, 18+, etc. is fine)

a name you go by. this can be an alias, whatever, since a lot of people aren’t out to their family online, or generally don’t want their life here to be connected to irl stuff/keeping it separate. most people use nicknames here, and it’s expected. don’t suggest adding your (real) last name, but that’s up to you. this is mostly for stranger danger purposes

what languages do you speak? and which are you willing to rp in? is english your first language? do you want to be corrected if you make grammatical/spelling errors, or not worry about it?

any triggers/disorders you have! optional, of course, but for example i have adhd, and if people are aware of that, they can be accommodating and more patient with replies, since adhd makes it hard to focus. triggers or squicks, i.e. things that make you uncomfortable/that you would rather not see, can also be tagged for you!

pronouns you use!! people might want to talk about you/to you and want to make sure that they don’t misgender you.

race/ethnicity/gender/orientation. again, optional, but if you intend to talk a lot about discourse, or write a muse of color/lgbt muse, it can be important. such as, if you are a white person that writes a muse of color, this is kinda a preface to be like ‘disclaimer: i don’t know what it’s like to be a person of color, and if i get anything wrong, please let me know!!’ or, similarly, as an example, if you talk in discourse about whether or not non-lesbians should be able to say d*ke (a slur used against lesbians), and you’re not a lesbian, saying that you aren’t is important for readers’ perspective. because, while allies can definitely be heard, it’s important that members of whatever minority have more weight based on their experience as a marginalized person.

any interests you have! people often like getting to know you, and it helps to make friends of rp partners! so if you are interested in similar things, this might be a way for them to start a conversation

do you do commissions? for art/themes, etc. if so, how would one approach you?

links to other social media or other blogs on tumblr! optional ofc, but pretty common, especially adding discord tags, because tumblr IMs is not always the best place to talk.

#rph #roleplay help #mod c

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jurien-ashur · 5 years

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Discourse

So I didn’t want to have to do this but it seems like it’s unavoidable. For the past couple of months I have been trying to move on from a toxic relationship and move on to more enjoyable roleplay but it seems that she cannot let go. Who am I talking about? I’m talking about Corinne Fletcher (aka Nemy on discord) who is @Fletchlingfletcher on tumblr. Now this post is mainly to clear the air because she as well as Naenia (@paleshadeofrose) have been spreading rumors and speaking about my personal real life in order to depict me as a horrible and abusive person.

For the most part, I just ignored it and just peacefully warned people that this was going on and to disregard it because these people and the friends that they have made in order to repeat these rumors have gotten out of control. So here it is… This is my side.

Corinne’s mun and I had a bad falling out because I just wasn’t having fun with her. After 5 years of Rping the same thing I wanted to try other things which she wasn’t comfortable with. I tried to invite other people into the roleplay and she became very passive aggressive. Now this is in no way trying to paint me out to be the Dalai lama to where I didn’t do any wrong. It was a constant back and forth of accusing each other of losing interest or cheating-- overall just very toxic because that is the environment that we created with each other after being with each other for so long. I have a very busy life now which made it difficult to be attentive to her. I had school, I worked 10 hours shifts at night, I have family business that has to come first and so I hardly had time to really talk to her as I once did. The stress of her neediness and my shortness with her led to a big fallout where a lot of things were said out of anger. A lot of things that I said that I’m not too proud of but all the same it was said out of anger. I spoke with her again, one time in December to try to patch things up with her and when she didn’t want to do so, I haven’t talked to her since. You can find the LAST conversation I had with her here…

HERE

Five months later, she is still spreading rumors about me and telling people things that we talked about in private to make me seem like a horrible person in order to sway people into not RPing with me. She won’t show them how I tried to mend things. Instead she shows them THIS in order to emphasize what a bad person I am when it’s a conversation of when we were breaking up. Now, I don’t care if someone is mad because a Roleplay doesn’t work out. Ships end. Friendships end. But time heals sore feelings and regardless of how you may feel about someone you should NEVER bring their personal life into the game that has PERSONAL information about them and their family… In this conversation, specifically, it even spoke about my daughter. I don’t care how pissed you are about a ship not working out, you never bring those aspects into a game to make someone out to be a bad person. This is what she sent to a person I was actively roleplaying with.. Here.

Anyone who would condone this or pretend like this isn’t a serious invasion of privacy is wrong. She has messaged several of the people I interacted with in order to push this narrative and it’s been over 5 months since we broke things off. How do I know this? This conversation from a friend and her was posted 3 days ago suggesting that my friend should block me because of a disagreement we had. You can find that HERE. This evident that she is NOT over our breakup. It doesn’t matter how mad I was about the way she and I broke up, I never suggested to anyone that they should stop speaking to her. Anyone who associated themselves with her a lot, I civilly removed myself from the their tumblr in order to avoid seeing her posts. I cannot tell people to not post her stuff; I only have control over what I can do to ensure my mental health is good. Following someone’s tumblr is not the measure of the friendship that I have with them. But Corinne is actively trying to alienate me from the Tumblr community and from the RP community by showing screenshots of when we were breaking up and I want people to know that that is NOT the narrative of our entire relationship. It wasn’t just me who was bad to her.. WE WERE BAD TO EACH OTHER. There had been days where I would just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling because I was filled with anxiety and she wasn’t helping. She told me that she would not try to sabotage my Rp and keep our drama between her and I which is not truthful. HERE

I can only speculate on her motivation to this but I would assume that she has become bitter and spiteful because I actually am doing better and I’m doing well and my mental health is much better now that we are separated. Yes, in December I tried to mend things but after the offer was rejected, I accepted it and I moved on. And I was happy. And I AM happy. And I want to remain happy.

Now let’s talk about Naenia because she seems especially interested in my personal life. Last night (5/11/19) Naenia harassed my friend trying to confirm some things that is none of her business. However, since Corinne and Naenia have been talking, Naenia wants to concern herself of who I am outside of the game, i.e age, gender, marital status, immediate family etc.. and she wants to confirm if some information about my personal life is true. Her is her trying to guilt my friend into sharing information about who I am when he states several times that he doesn’t want to be involved. HERE.

Now who am I? Who is Jurien? Well for all the people who want to know and all the people who are still reading this. As a mun, I own the tumblr Jurien-Ashur, Misato-Otsuka and Yuki-yukichan. Yes, surprise. Yuki-chan and Jurien have the same mun.

I created Yuki because I had high anxiety, low self-esteem, writer's block, depression and I was generally just angry all the time while playing Jurien. He just wasn’t a fun character to play anymore. I created Yuki more so to converse with people. Not necessarily to Rp though it did turn out that way. I needed to deflate because I was always stressed out. In the process, I ended up meeting a lot of great people who supported me and made me believe that I was more than just one type of OC-- that my creativity was more than just this one thing. From past experiences, I knew that if I invited Nemy/Corinne into Yuki’s world that the same result would happen all over again and people would be turned away because of her passive aggressiveness, so I kept the blog separate. Corinne found the blog, called me out on it and I was reluctant to actually confess. Now that is the problem. Why should I be afraid to let my rp partner know my alts? No one should be afraid to tell the truth when it comes to something they enjoy.

As far as Naenia is concerned, she is bitter because I didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with her on Jurien. She talked to her friends behind my back to paint this picture that I was abusive to her and leading her on. However.. I have proof that it wasn’t the case. Multiple times I had set up times to rp with her and SHE didn’t show up. In a conversation, I expressed that I was disappointed that we didn’t get to meet up and immediately got defensive and when I decided to end the conversation.. She continued to ‘poke’ and try to get my attention. You can find that conversation HERE. I also made it clear that I didn’t want to be in an rp relationship and that I didn’t want her to wait around for me to be ready for a relationship. You can find that conversation Here. And here is a conversation that was going on at the same time of when she is talking to me reasonably and we are trying to work things out and I asked her for patience because I had a busy life outside of the game. At the same time she is talking to Ashe bad mouthing me. You can find that conversation HERE. Naenia didn’t want to do anything with me because it would be 6am when I got off from work however, she is frustrated with me when I won’t wake up early to Roleplay with her-- because I work 10 hour shifts and it’s heavy lifting. You can find that double standard HERE. She also conveyed that she didn’t like RPing before she had to go to work which I completely understood which you can find that HERE.

After that conversation, Naenia blocked me which I was okay with. I didn’t block her. It didn’t really matter to me but after saying all those things about me and when Ashe and I broke our rp off because Ashe tried to commit suicide.. Naenia pops up in my DM on tumblr again. You can find that conversation HERE. This conversation comes only a few hours after Ashe was discharged from the hospital but because the whole situation was upsetting, I refused to speak with her from that day on. At the same time.. She is telling people that Jurien was Gaslighting her and that he is very abusive (Which could be found here) but Naenia had never stopped actively trying to be with Jurien even after I expressed both IC and OOC that I didn’t want to be in a relationship. She even tried to get Ashe to be the bad person for even showing me the screenshots of her talking poorly about me to her friends while she was sweet as pie when talking to me on most occasions. And got everyone to be mad at her for showing that she was bad mouthing me instead of getting mad at Naenia for saying those malicious things in the first place.

Now again, I’m not telling people to stop talking to these two girls who have been extremely toxic in my life for the past few months. Some people just don’t vibe well together. I don’t want anything to do with either of them after this. They have invaded my privacy and shared that information with everyone who would listen all because they are upset about an rp ship that ended or a friendship that ended. My private life should not be a spectacle. Someone shouldn’t be asking my current RP partners if they know a certain bit of information about my personal life in order to try to convince them not to talk to me because I didn’t want to ship with them. We should not downplay all this and we should call it what is it. It’s bullying. All I wanted was to write and to have fun with the friends I found in game and Tumblr after a bad experience.

I didn’t want to show the information that I had. Hell, I didn’t want to show any of this information but I found that my silence and my ignoring the situation has done little good. People are believing the narrative that I’m this ‘horny guy’ when I have only been with two people in an intimate fashion Rply.

So there you have it. I’m just a player who is trying to move on from a toxic relationship-- a toxic friendship-- a toxic encounter with a tumblr woman and they are obsessing over me. They are broadcasting my personal information and they are trying to alienate me from others because they can’t accept that I’m happy. I’m not broken and I can survive without them.

You can make your own decision about the situation but I did the best I could. I’m doing the best I can.

#discourse #Leave my personal life out of this #Leave my family out of this #Leave me out of your conversations #Stop harassing my friends #Stop trying to bully me #Jurien Ashur #I have my flaws but I'm over both of you #Move on #Let go #Leave me alone

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dionysins · 5 years

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so today i woke up to someone i used to know basically calling me a bunch of names. so let me clear up a few things for you since this is a lot of accusing and you clearly are keeping track of me and every single one of my friends, those you haven’t even talked to before:

1. you have a lot of ppl you hurt on tumblr and they knew when you came back. unfortunately one of those people reached out to me and pointed out you were back contrary to what you may like to believe.

2. beth was a toxic ass person and she has acknowledged this & said she’s past it so not sure what you’re trying to prove. also, you said im lying about me not wanting to be friends with you because of beth but how is that a lie? you knew every detail of what beth said about me and still befriended her so i naturally had to cut off ties. it’s not just you, i cut off ties with everyone who befriended beth in that time period. you think it’s wrong for someone to cut off people out of their lives if they’re not making them feel welcomed or heard? o...kay.

3. you did steal from me. and admitted it and just said “im not gonna change it.” you genuinely took a character i wrote then put what ive created into your rp. how is that not theft?

4. you know when i first realized you were toxic was when you accused m. (someone who has always been there for me btw, even through the single most traumatic event of my real life) of stealing from you just for reblogging something from an inspo blog for an old rp you ran, then lied to h. about it. you befriended someone that was pretty abusive towards me for awhile. you also have claimed on multiple occasions that a white person is a person of color to justify your choices. so yeah, i think i actually had ample reason to stop communicating with you. but if you want to claim we had “no reason” to cut you out, you are honestly lying to yourself.

5. i never unfriended u on fb? you blocked me & at that point i was like oh she has no interest in being friends w me anymore. also ur THAT MAD about us not being fb friends???? omg. you claim that i said you were stalking for looking at my fb page but there is...no way to tell someone is looking at your fb page so i’m actually so confused about this point.

6. i actually did try to reach out to you in private via my character blog if i remember correctly because we had each other blocked, specifically in regards to the situation with m. that conversation didn’t end with a real solution but for you to say i just “cut you out” without trying to speak to you is a blatant fucking LIE. i have DEFENDED your ass to some people especially when you were in my rp and i genuinely thought you were my friend until you started hurting the people around me. at first i didn’t even know if i should believe m but i also knew she wasn’t lying and boy when i saw the proof! it is completely unreasonable for you to lie about this. i’m not even sure why you’re doing it. because there may have been moments where i hurt you without meaning to, and in that case i apologize, but for you to sit there and accuse me of never giving a shit about you is you putting words in my gd mouth and you KNOW it’s not true - otherwise you would’ve stayed for an actual conversation instead of insulting me and running.

7. icb i have to bother clarifying this but i left my ALIAS on tumblr - it’s creepy that you know this given how upset you seem that people have found you again! i have all of 7 followers here so it’s so fucking creepy that you managed to track me down all on your own, after supposedly blocking me. i left my alias bc im in the ent. industry rn and didn’t want people to track my real name down & also bc i wanted to leave that blog and its content behind. i’ve never said i’m leaving tumblr forever, just that i’m deleting that blog.

8. finally, i have never once claimed to be a better person than beth, so you deciding to come and verbally attack me by making that comparison is odd. beth probably is a better person than me in many aspects as are a lot of other humans bc ive certainly said some fucked up shit in anger and will gladly own up to all of it but this certainly shows she’s a lot more mature than you. at least she owned up to where she messed up but ive never seen you admit one single thing or even apologize. ive never seen her - or anyone else but you for that matter - slide into IMs to verbally harass someone then run away as you have today.

the only thing i have called you is toxic. you have called me a freak, not normal, obsessed, a liar, and a bad person all because i cut you out of my life for what i felt were valid reasons at the time. i’m allowed to discuss shit on my blog that only my friends know about. literally. your behavior, frankly, is scary.

i’m glad you decided to, um, “cowboy the fuck up” but next time try to have actual facts. my friends or myself have never tried to cut you down this way, by literally sending a fucking essay to attack someone, to call them “a freak” when you literally know 0 things about my life. not even where i live, what i do, or my personality. so really, you showed everyone that you’re capable of that kind of viciousness and resentment.

if you read this - which i know you will - im more than willing to talk privately and apologize for my wrongs, if you’re willing to talk about facts and also own up to your shit. discord is at soj#3694. but coming in hurling insults at someone then not giving them a way to respond is not the way to go.

edit: also calling someone, esp someone with a history of mental illness that you are aware of, a “freak” right off the bat and implying they are not “normal” is ableist as fuck and apart from this strange discourse i found that genuinely disturbing. i hope you stop using that kind of damaging language in the future.

#sigh #reposted because photos were out of wack

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aliienation · 6 years

Text

hiatus? idk

//I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to have to ever make an ooc post here pertaining to discourse HERE of all places, but I have to. I’m sorry to my new followers that THIS is like the first thing you’ll see on your dash from me. It’s important and also I might be taking a break so. There’s some sensitive, personal experience stuff underneath, I’m just letting you know.

....I was touched as a child. It’s something I’ve never talked about to anyone, because...I don’t know? It only happened once unless there’s other stuff I blocked out. I wouldn’t consider myself a csa survivor because I didn’t grow up molested. It was one time only--and then another in highschool. I thought I was overreacting and it was nothing compared to constant rape people go through growing up, so...I didn’t feel mine was worthy of being considered.

I was four. I was at my cousin Andy’s and he had a friend. They were both older boys, teens. There was a mature show they were watching so I wasn’t allowed in until it was done. Andy told his friend to keep me happy and occupied until it was done and then we’d play. Instead he put me in a closet in the other room. I was four so naturally I was crying any trying to get out. He laughed at me when I did and he threw cushions at me at first but when I wouldn’t stay in the closet he moved to other measures. .....You get the picture.

I never told anyone. I was four and just thought it was the toxic misogynistic ‘boys being boys’ I was always told. I’ve never mentioned it, ever, to anyone--a therapist or other means.

My mom was also molested, and also near my age. It was a relative.

My point being? Pedophillia hits close to home, and what would hit worse than that is being told I support it. That I support something that’s psychologically fucked with both me and my Mom and many many friends and loved ones.

Zim is a child in my stuff. I have outright stated it tons of times his age ranges between 15-20 depending on the verse. Any verse where Dib and Gaz are adults he’s an adult. When they’re kids HE’S A KID.

I won’t bother to mention that Jhonen himself has said if there was romance it’d be Zim and Gaz or that he didn’t mention ‘if either were older or younger’. Regardless of canon, Zim is a child in my stuff. And the things I write with darkiiums is with both Zim and Gaz either teens or consenting adults. Maybe I should specify that more? Fine, in the future I will make some verse names!

I guess you can say my blog is canon divergent in a way because if Zim is an adult in the show/comics, he’s not in my stuff. Never thought he was even when I was little so I’ve never written him that way and it’s a slap in the face that anyone would think I’d support such a thing.

idk I don’t feel like I have any blog safe to escape to anymore lol This WAS my drama free safe blog that is now no longer so I guess!! Realistically, it’s tumblr. Those don’t even fucking exist.

I’m taking a break. It could be the night, or it could be a significant amount of time idk. Tumblr isn’t safe and apparently me being here has literally hurt friends that got caught in the crossfire, so.

I’ll be on Discord. If we’re mutuals, you can ask for it. We can rp there and stuff.

#off to get smashed on weed oil *finger guns*#tw pedophillia mention #tw pedophillia #tw rape #hiatus note??#idk #drama #negative

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