#usually when using the 'jaan' nickname

[wisewastelandandnotsowisesimp]

character bingo-james potter

i am very well aware that this is not really in the realm of my past posts and a couple of things?

marauders? yep. a somewhat funny story about how i got there involving macarons, minecraft bees, physics, and one tiktok person who does an amazing cosplay of this one character.

what about nagakura? i have been detoxed from his bullshit and would like to keep it that way for some time. have found that my urge to rip my hair off has decreased. not for long though, eheh. started playing hijikata's route during this hiatus thing and got did i want to punch him in the face. need to finish it, hopefully soon.

so without further ado:

"got done dirty by the creators"- first off, canonically dead. the author did have an opportunity to capitalise on the marauders as her original fanbase got older and write a spinoff based on that. instead we got cursed child. a part of me was interested in jily's tale and how they got together apart from the bare bones in the canon.

"i am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in a microwave"- i want to know why he was so popular, apart from plot convenience. he just appeared like someone who was too perfect, and snape's complaits would have appeared to be jealousy. so i would like him to be fleshed out more, and have him appear more human apart from "everyone loves him even after he died" and "he bullied snape". that being said, i do like some of the headcanons that have been presented like him giving golden retriever and a really really sappy romantic (stuff more based in canon, admittedly).

"I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH"- see above

"what's wrong with them (affectionate)"- rose more from fanfic than canon. but i think the author wanted to instill that feeling for her readers.

"what's wrong with them (derogatory)"- must have been pre bad if it took a long time for lily to reciprocate her feelings. plus arrogance is kinda uhhh, not the best? idk, this one was pure vibes

"i like them but i don't really think about them much"- all in all, at the end of the day, i am sorta moving away from marauders and so that intrigue i have for james, which wasn't really present much to begin with, has slowly disappeared. still there! not as much.

this will probably be my one post that symbolises my time of being in the marauders fandom. also, desi james? it's kind of a vibe.

alas, we did not get a bingo this time either. will it ever happen? will i finish that 2500 research proposal by its due date? find out next time!

note, i do not support the author at all. it cannot be denied that she had a huge impact on our childhoods and so we look to her as a role model. but it is a pity that she is using her voice to propagate such hateful things to people who identify as trans as though this world isn't shitty enough.

#james #james potter #the marauders #character bingo #can i add something kinda unpopular here? #personally not a fan of the reiky de valk fancast #don't really see it #i was watching this one bollywood movie the other day #and one of the characters just gave #he had glasses and everything! #that is if we were to go down the desi james route which is quite popular #but i must say #usually when using the 'jaan' nickname #you tend to add the possessive word to it so that it's 'meri jaan' or my life #just a bit of a minor gripe i had with this one desi james fic i read

[siriusblack-the-third]

hellooo with your permission, i am coming back to bother you with the Indian James headcanons 🙏

assuming they're from Maharashtra and they speak Marathi (and Hindi? i'm assuming most families know more than just one language) at home, what would he call his parents? and what would they call him and each other? I've heard "jaan" a lot but I'm not sure how accurate that is and whether that works for Marathi too. are there any other endearment terms they could use? like love, sunshine, darling etc in English.

also i've been wondering if there's any exclamations/expressions etc that can be used within English speech without making it sound unnatural. like in Arabic we say "basmala/mashallah" for good luck or "inshallah" when we hope that something happens etc and it's integrated in English speech very naturally. wondering if there's anything of that sort?

Okay imma go step by step here. In India, especially where I live (Maharashtra yay hehe) it's pretty normal to know like three or more languages. I myself— plus my family— speak Marathi, Hindi, Urdu, Gujarati and Marwadi, and even though we can't speak them we understand Punjabi and Bengali. So you assume correctly that they speak more than one language at home. Especially my family, where we know a bunch of non Indian languages as well, for business purposes.

Assuming James is Maratha, he would call his mother Aai (pronounced Aa-ee) and his father Baba (Mum and Dad). I have this headcanon that when he wants to annoy them he calls them Matoshree and Pitashree lmao (formal terms for Mother and Father in Hindi/Sanskrit).

"Jaan" means "life", and it's pretty accurate even if it's Urdu tbh, a lot of parents call their kids stuff like jaan, hayat (which you already know the meaning of), laadli (darling in Hindi), maajha baal (my baby- Marathi). If you wanted nicknames in Marathi you'll be good to go with bubdi (bubba), laadkaa or laadki (darling in masc and fem), or sonpari (golden fairy, usually for girls) and Sonu (dear, used for children).

Exclamation sounds can be "arey!" (uh-ray) which is "hey!" and "aai ga!" (aa-ee guh) which is like "oh mother!". They're just one word each, but they can be used in like 50 different situations lmao. Arey can be used for calling someone's attention ("arey come here a second will you?"), to express frustration with someone ("areyyy, why are you like this?"), exasperation ("arey yaar!" yaar is slang for friend) and a bajillion other stuff. Aai ga is used as an exclamation mark for when you're surprised, or got hurt, and in place of "oh God!". We don't have specific phrases that mean good luck or inshallah, but Urdu still uses both mashallah and inshallah so you'll be okay i think. But James probably wouldn't use them bc he's not a Muslim yk, and Hindu people usually use the name of the god they're praying on on swearing on, so there's that. We say stuff like "hay bhagwan" ("oh, Vishnu". Bhagwan is one of the innumerable names of the Lord Vishnu). Or "har har Mahadev" ("glory be to Lord Shiva". Maha-dev literally translates to Great God, but it is one of the well known names of the God of Destruction). We do use "arey deva" (oh god) as well. "Jai shree Ram"(hail to the Lord Ram) or "jai shree krishna" or "jai shree ganpati" (ganpati is what most marathi people call Lord Ganesha) is used when we're beginning something and we want to make the start auspicious. The phrases are kind of used as "may this go well and end well" ykwim? This is hard to explain I hope you get what i wanna say lol.

Anyways, this is it, I hope this helps, and you can ask me anything and i will answer. Not always so quickly but I will. Have a good day!

#desi tag #desi james potter #desi potters #indian james potter #james potter headcanon #harry potter #marauders era headcanons #harry potter marauders #marauders era #the marauders #james potter #james fleamont potter #marathi #urdu #hindi

[hotwings0203]

Hello!!!

I'm here with some Muslim Hawks headcanons!!

Okayyy soooo you that headcanon of how Hawks collects trinkets? Yeah Muslim Hawks would definitely flirt with you by giving you churiyan (probably gold or red ones lol) and when you wear them, he feels so possessive and can't control himself and play with your hands and fingers telling you how he can't wait to put a ring on you and how these colors look so pretty on you

Speaking of jewelry, when you guys get engaged (which you will cuz he knows how to keep a good reputation with the elders), he gives you jewelry that has his feathers incorporated in it

Okay! But if its not churiyan, I think he would get you an anklet bracelet (payal?), and lmao he would corner you and would crouch down and just softly touch your ankle while putting it on you, and to tease you, he would slowly trace his fingers up your leg while looking up at you with his sharp and playful gaze and he would relish in the way you blush and squeak Hawks! And run away LOLL

Also! He loves it when you feed him, will coo and chirp like a god damn bird. Again you know that trope of the bride feeding the groom, he would totally grab your hand to feed him, and maintain eye contact the whole time, his hawk like gaze pinning you in space and you're just trying not die from blushing

Nickenames!!! Has a plethora of nicknames for you like meri jaan, meri chaand, etc. but his main ones are 'meri chhoti churiya' (my little bird) or 'meri methi churiya' (my sweet bird)! And everytime he utters these names, it'd make you soooo flustered! And omg if he calls you that in front or near the elders, you'd blush so hard while subtly glaring at him and he would just smirk and wink at you lolll

Also I feel like he would be that asshole who scares you when you're at a party and telling djinn stories LOL like the kids and others are all gathered in a room after dinner, its after maghrib, and you are telling djinn stories or watching a horror movie, and when the scary part comes, he would send one his feathers to tickle your feet or touch your shoulder or ear, and you'd squeak and jump right into him (cuz of course hes sitting right beside you, even though you tried to move away from him, you know halal distances and stuff) and he's just sitting all smug and being like "don't worry jaan I'll protect you" LMFAO

Okay okay, that's enough for now, I'll send more soon!!!!

WIAFHFHFHFFN THE FIRST SENTENCE I WAS SOLD!! man I’ve been so excited and literally WAITING to tackle these cuz you always deliver the best headcannons

I could totally see over the expanse of him trying to court you your wardrobe if accessories would slowly shift over to red and gold colors, and if you don’t wear them then he gets all pouty and moody until you catch his drift and run back to wear his colors:)

OO FUUCCKKKK YO PAYAL IS SO SEXY AND FOR WHAT?? Like maybe you’re at someone else’s wedding sitting down from dancing so much, or just stuffed with food when he pounces on your vulnerable state.

“Hey there churiya(bird), I hope you liked my churiyan(bangles),” he snorts at his cringe joke and you can’t help but loosely suppress a laugh yourself.”

“Ha-ha Keigo, verryyyy funny. Arent you supposed to be schmoozing up to your usual harem?”

“My harem?” He pretends to look shocked and places a hand on his chest. “I’m insulted, truly. It’s not a harem, it’s a cult.”

“Ugh!” You get up to leave when he drops to a kneel and grabs your foot, preventing you from leaving.

“What’re you doing?”

“You know, I might have a cult following, but I think id rather keep you as my high priestess. What do you say?” You feel sturdy fingers dancing along your feet and you giggle as he tickles the bottoms.

Then a cold lightweight chain is looped around your toes and around your ankle. You angle to look at it in surprise, and open your mouth to ask why he’s putting payal on you when his fingers start to wander.

Your mouth is stuck open as you watch in shock how his nails lightly rake your smooth skin, and trace up your kameez, letting the cloth ride up your bare legs in a teasing taste of what was his to come.

“Yeah? You enjoying that churiya? There’s more where that came from,” he whispers as he draws his head near and drills his golden eyes into your fluttering ones.

“You-what-“ you sputter as he grips your knee as draws small circles at the back of it.

“If you want me to to higher, you gotta take me out on a date first. Or put a ring on it, either way doesn’t matter to me.”

“Hawks!” You try to pretend you don’t enjoy the sound of his boisterous laughter as you spring up and run to hide your face.

You know he’ll be back though. He always comes back.

As for the bird chirping noises, YES. ABSOLUTELY AND 100%!!

It’s on your wedding when he’s sitting next to you, clad in gold and white while you’re in a deep red (much to his pleasure).

The adults are chatting amongst themselves and turned away from you both when you decide to indulge him. You delicately pick up a piece of laddoo and bring the food to his mouth, turning his chin with your hand under it to face you.

He looks at you with wide eyes and then grins when he sees what you’re doing.

“Come on lardki. Don’t you know feeding mithai is bad for birds? They could die, y’know” he simpers yet accepts the food heartily, chomping away and looking at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Hmm, that’s too bad. And here I was thinking birds mate for life.” You flick your hair and get a taste of rasgullah yourself, licking the milky substance off your fingers slowly and relishing when he swallows hard at the sight.

It’s hard to hide your grin when his chirps come throughout the rest of the evening during the randomest of times, his face turning as bright as your lengha when he remembers the erotic sight.

I guess there really is a way to shut him up after all.

AND YESSS YO THIS ASSHOLE JUST LOOVEESSS DJINN STORIES😭

I bet y’all would be at a party, the kind that ends at 1 in the morning when all the kids are tired and delirious.

“Alright guys, gather around. I’m about to lighten this party up.” He claps his hands and waits for all the kids and young adults to circle around him excitedly, their fatigue washed away by the prospect of hearing how another one of their great ancestors was possessed.

It just so happens that you find yourself seated next to him (with the help of his feather with poked the butts of 8 year olds away with subtle yelps).

He makes sure to give you his signature wink and grin especially for you before he starts the story, and you cover your mouth to hide your smile and roll your eyes.

12 minutes in, the lights are all off and everyone is leaning forward, hooked on his story.

“And then, you know what happens to the girl?” He asks lowly in the dark. He can sense everyone’s holding their breaths, yours included.

“N-no, what happens?” One girl asks timidly.

“He POSSESS HER!” Keigo shouts and uses his feather to disperse around the room, sliding under people’s feet’s and knees, causing absolute mayhem as they all run around in the pitch black room and scream.

You weren’t given any mercy either, except your special feathers lift up and tilt your body to dump on his lap.

When he feels your hands searching in the dark in panic of who it is, he grabs your wrist and pulls you close to him, using the void of the room to relish in wrapping his arms and wings around you.

It’s just you and him in that moment, amongst the screams and shouts.

“K-keigo?”

“I’m here meri jaan. I’ll protect you from those big bad djinn,” he chuckles and brings his head near your neck, not touching exactly but rather brushing his nose against the column of your throat and growling when you shudder at the goosebumps racing across your arms.

#mha hawks #mha #bnha #hawks headcanons #muslim hawks #muslim mha #hawks x y/n #mha keigo takami #bnha keigo

[goldenarcana]

HEART OF THORNS /// VAMPIREFEMALE!MC X NADIA /// THE ARCANA 🔮♠️ /// PART ONE OF TWO

REQUEST: Vampire!MC x Nadia. The only way to keep you dead and unrisen for your murderous crimes is so your lover keeps you locked away in a coffin, a beautiful rose (the symbol of love) placed atop of it. This idea actually came from @afsaneh-jaan Tumblr, requested by a loyal follower. Beware of heavy angst, depression and a sprinkle of smut. 8554 words. Two parts.

NADIA SATRINAVA had felt a part of herself withering away from the very second she stepped into the bathing room, her reflection groundbreaking but unsurprising all the same. The smell of coppery blood coursed deep within the air of the ancient palace, a part of her becoming so used to the smell of dark, harrowing magic that she somehow had lost the power to even react to the ghostly scent. Yet then again these days Nadia could hardly stomach a simple conversation. She had made sure of that.

And still there was that large part of her - the part that she refused to let go of and still clung on to with the tighter fist - that screamed out into the void that she couldn't care less. That all those months together were somehow worth it - somehow making her run forward to something meaningful that she couldn't give up on and pushing her back to experience that crashing hurt again.

And again.

And again.

A shiver ran across the span of her ribcage as she felt her memories filtering back to reality, begging to push her over the edge as she gripped the marble counter, her bloodshot scarlet eyes wide as she took in her reflection. Oh Nadia, a voice from the past seemed to consume her thoughts like a broken tape-recorder, what have you done to yourself? The voice was cruel with a twist of crestfallen honesty; a hint of humanity amoung the sharpest of thorns. Tremors instantly shot through Nadia's body at the reminder of who she was tied to, of how they threatened to shatter and break her all over again. Each rise of the sun and fall of the moon signaled this pattern: a pattern of fighting the remaining piece of what was left, of an immortal death that somehow could never be replaced. Not in the shattered pieces of Nadia's heart; never there. Would she ever be whole again?

Let me out, the voice filled her thoughts again, loud as the crashing waves upon the furious oceans in Prakra and yet calm as the quiet of the bathing room. I'm waiting. How is it that she sounded so youthful, so innocent - when she knew they were anything but? Sobs raked through the countess, her britle pink curls tickling the nape of her neck as she furiously dragged her hand through the hair, doing anything and everything to distract herself to giving in. Hot tears jolted down her face as she doubled over, resisting the urge to run down the palace and reverse the hell she put to rest. Please. The plea broke her heart, stabbing her in the ribs and taking her soul. I will be good.

Good. A word that should never have found a way to their vocabulary. She was doing everything to resist the urge, to ignore ignore ignore.

Nadia hugged her arms around her abdomen, realizing then how skinny she had become in comparison to all those months together. Her usually angular face was sharper than swords, her cheeks hollow and undereyes bruised violently in the crevice to fill a ghastly violet. Her arms were the ghosts of sticks and her stomach was thin. Even standing for this long - however long time would allow that voice to consume her - was taxing to no end. But above all the hurt, above all the physical trauma these last two months had pushed upon her, nothing felt heavier than her heart - strangling in her chest.

It was all too much - day in and day out of living in a world where they seized to exist. Where Nadia would have to continually act as if those days, those weeks and months with them were just a fantasy of her ever-ending imagination. Where even Vesuvia was paying the price for all the death her vampire mate had caused, the losses of women, men and children hanging so far into the air that it choked Nadia with every breath. She had failed them. Failed her subjects. Failed the act of duty and promise to honor. She had no power. Had no power to keep going. An eternal star was blinking out - threatening to darken. But in every reality, in every world - there was absolutely no way that she could hate her. That although she had shot her down a hole of whisking away to Death, draining her will to keep moving forward and taking her once unbreakable spirit, she. Could. Not. Hate. Her.

And that broke her.

Noddy.

And that word - that nickname - was her undoing. Her breaking point. She shattered.

Nadia screamed, anguish filling the air and rippling out of her until her voice was hoarse and the crashing waves of that voice turned to ice, frozen in her conscious as it seemed to snap to the remaining tethers of the countess's sanity. Nadia cried out - her voice breaking as the bathing room was filled with her screams.

"Just get out of my head!" She fell to the pristine creme white tiles of the floor, hugging her thighs to her face as she rocked back and forth, back and forth until the empty contents of her gut rose to her throat. "GO AWAY!" Sobs tore through her throat, her mind everywhere but where it was supposed to be. Her heart was racing, a painful gallop matching her anguished thoughts. She allowed her head to gently hit the wall beside her, resting there as she cried silently.

"Please." She pleaded, her tone barely above a whisper, nearly inaudible. Every syllable and word ached low in her throat. "Just go away."

Liar. Stupid, naive liar. She knew, they knew, the entire world knew she wanted anything but that.

And with that - under the stress of the her panic attack and the undying entity in both her heart and thoughts, Nadia succumbed to the endless black engulfing her.

~♡~

/// ONE YEAR AGO \\\

THE PALACE of Vesuvia was bustling with an uncomparable energy, the essence of blissful magic coating the air along with the electricity that came with the excited occupants of the kingdom. Their hearts danced and sung - your senses filled with the mortality enveloping you on the dancefloor. Your own unbeating pulse was practically screaming, the blood lust hugging painfully around your throat as you danced and mingled with anybody who dared to step in the face of danger. Some sneered at your invite to get entangled in an elegant waltz, others more than ecstatic to move darefully with you to a twisted beat.

You had heard of how life changing Vesuvia's balls and parties had been when Count Lucio was alive, but you had never imagined in your three hundred years of life for it to be quite like this.

The young man that was dancing against you wistfully guided his hands into your vibrant hair, coming so close to you that you could feel his pulse hammering against the inside of his throat. Handsome, bold and...delicious. It took every fiber of your immortal being not to take a bite, despite the strong demand to do so. You were stunning - the picture of beauty. It was both a blessing and a curse. Gorgeous on the outside, but the monster lurking beneath would only show its fangs when provoked. And you wondered, wondered while the blonde-haired man brought his hand to rest low against your skilled hips, if anyone could see the twinge of monster hiding beneath your skin. Even in the eyes of an angel.

His parted lips rose to kiss your unbeating neck, and you smirked, hand rising to rest on his hammering heart. Your throat tightened with insatiable hunger, your face draining as you willed everything inside of you to calm. You had to feed. It had been days of travel with only animal blood and even the squirrel you found before the party wasn't enough to quench your relentless thirst. Suddenly the heartbeats around you became so loud they drowned out the music hammering through the ballroom. You would go mad.

Bringing your hand to slide underneath his tight white shirt, the man trailed his mouth to rest above the cut of your scarlet red dress, your cleavage bouncing with the exotic beat of the music.

And like that, you slipped away from his arms, swaying your lips in a dare as you looked over your shoulder to give him a seductive wink - daring him to run the chase. His mouth was formed in a smirk, following you through the mounds of dancing bodies before you both found your way to a secluded broom closet.

Taking his arm, you pushed him to the wall, your mind screaming insults at you as you realized he had fallen into your trap.

Your eyes connected with his as he pulled you to his chest, placing kisses all around your neck as you balled your hands in his back. His touch was annoying, easily predictable. As they all were in the last three centuries.

"Oh sweetheart," You laughed coldly, seeking interest as he stopped kissing you only to lift his head up to level yours, an eyebrow lifting in question. Your hand trailed from his arm all the way up to his chest - just above the heart. Leaning in close to his neck, you felt your white fangs extract as you whispered, "you just found a demon."

And with a swift bite, you bit into his neck, blood spuring out from the deep puncture as you sucked, using your power to mask his screams in the broom closet. He thrashed helplessly underneath you - sinking lower to the ground until you took three gulps of his blood and chose to step away, blood leaking from your mouth as you faced his terror-striken face. Already power thrummed through your veins, silencing the guilt twisting deeply in your gut.

Taking his face, you looked him straight in the emerald eyes and focused your power upon wiping this moment, his face going blank in the process. Your eyes trailed to the blood soaking the white collar of his shirt, lucky enough that his long honeyed hair covered the bite on his neck.

"You will not remember any of our encounter. If anyone asks about the blood on your shirt you will say a friend spilled wine on you." Going over the words twice, you released him of your power, turning around quickly in the closet and evacuating the small space, leaving the Vesuvian behind you.

Monster, your mind screamed at you, pain kicking at your entire being. You wiped any suspicious remainder of blood off of your mouth as you stepped back into the spacious ballroom, the fast-paced song suddenly very enticing. You walked with stride towards the refreshments, not letting the lump in your throat control you.

It got impossible each feeding, and you were terrified of the day you went a step too far. What if you killed them? A shiver ran down your spine as you grabbed a heavy glass of sparking white wine, taking the liquid in your throat to mask the thick substance of blood. Multiple ongoers eyed you, but you shook your head at each invitation, completely out of it despite the clarity in your enhanced senses.

It wasn't until you heard a satin voice glide in your direction when you were back from spacing out.

"I heard that it takes a bold female to pull off red." Your heart dropped, head rising to meet with a pair of warm scarlet eyes. Stunning.

Her hair was tied in a deep pink ponytail, tipped with a flaming magenta. Her body was magnificent, enveloped in a flaming pink dress that fell to the floor and showed off a generous amount of her curves and tightened around her breasts. Her caramel skin shone under the crystalline lights of the chandelier. Her face was sharp, angular. She was the most stunning creature you had ever seen - and your heart constricted when realizing who you were in the presence of.

Countess Nadia Satrinava. The empress of Vesuvia. Even her calm aura radiated power.

You bowed, the wine glass in your hand on the tips of your cupids bow as you rised again, smirking at her with your red-tinted lips. Nadia kept her eyes on you, a sensual tug of her lips making your insides melt. Breathtaking. Utterly breathtaking.

"Of course someone as stunning as the Countess of Vesuvia herself would know of boldness." You remarked, a blush staining her cheeks as she stepped forward. Her eyes held your gaze, power eminating from the flaming red orbs.

An elegant tone floated through the ballroom, a song you could immediately identify as the French waltz. One of your favorites.

Intensity burned in the countess's eyes, all for you. "You know of my name, and what of yours?"

How many men and women would die to be in your position now? More than you could count. Even the people around you gathering to dance couldn't tear their eyes off your interactions with the countess.

"Y/N." You whispered smoothly, and you could of sworn you saw stars in Nadia's eyes as the word bounced off your tongue.

"Lovely." She whispered, as if she couldn't contain the comment. She moved forward another step, dangerously close. You held in a breath. The monster beneath seemed to be calm. Only for her. "And I wouldn't suppose you know how to dance the French waltz, Y/N?" The smile that tugged at your lips was unstoppable.

Placing down the drained wine glass, you stepped forward and took Nadia's manicured hand in your own, feeling your belly go warm and sparks electrifying through your joint hands. It was like magic.

"It would be my pleasure, countess." So Nadia guided you to the dance floor, hand clasped in yours as the people stepped out of your way to form a circle around of you - everybody in pairs.

You and Nadia got in position, your figure standing proudly against hers, Nadia's hand resting lowly on your lip as the other clasped your hand, both sets of feet perfectly placed. Perfectly in sync. With when the song turned on again, you guided her, holding her gaze through it all.

Above every sound, her heartbeat was the loudest in the room.

And it was that night when you vowed that Nadia Satrinava would be yours.

~♡~

/// PRESENT DAY \\\

THE FIRST THING Nadia heard as she awoken was the hushed voices of the people outside the door of her room she could automatically decipher from instant memory, her companions through it all: Doctor Julian Devorak, her favorite magician Asra and her servant and loyal friend, Portia Devorak. They seemed to be in debate, each voice tumbling over a level of a whisper and sometimes their tones becoming otherworldly. Nadia was too weak to care of eavesdropping on it at all, but couldn't even stop her own ears from absorbing tidbits of the conversation.

"She is growing weaker, Ilya. I can hardly get her out of bed..." Portia. Her tone sounded broken, as if she failed. Nadia's heart stumbled at that.

"Which is why we should simply..." Asra'a voice cut off, as if the most anticipated point of the conversation wasn't allowed to be heard. Even if it involved her.

"Are you dense? Her mental health is invaluable and considering how much having it here already affects her, that would be catastrophic." Julian quickly denounced whatever idea Asra had suggested. Nadia's heart stopped at the final word of his sentence.

Her throat felt like sandpaper, the metallic taste of her mouth causing her to wince. The events of what happened earlier in the bathroom rippled through her. She could hardly stop herself from checking through her mind. A part of her went to relief when she couldn't detect her there.

"I've healed many people, have even consoled those who lost their significant other." Nadia's ears perked when hearing the doctor. "But as insane as it sounds, at this point, I am convinced that Noddy could die of a broken heart if she doesn't start caring for herself."

Water. She needed the water now. The pounding in her chest was getting to be too much. Eyes flying through her vibrantly colored room, her eyes met with a glass of water on her nightstand. Unfortunately enough she made the mistake of sitting up too quickly, the squeak of the bed resulted in the trio to go silent as Death, and in seconds the three adults were heading through the door of her room.

Nadia gently sipped on the liquid as she faced a smiling Asra, his smile comforting. Her friends made her feel just a twinge of happiness in the midst of painful defeat. Just a twinge. Once she felt that she was rehydrated and ready to sit up, she masked her face into calm although she felt anything but powerful. The role of countess was beyond foreign to her since her lover's downfall. She placed the glass on the wooden nightstand, the trio watching her every movement from different points of the room. It was Portia who spoke first.

"How are you feeling, Your Majesty?" Her stormy grey eyes were hopeful, but unexpecting. Nadia loathed the feeling of letting her down.

Which is why she hesitated to even answer honestly. Asra has been on edge above Y/N constantly filling her head. Vampiric magic was something he's been studying since her mate's death, and to no avail to fix the ghostly presence. It was almost as if she was another counterpart with Lucio. However these were her friends...and Nadia's voice came out emotionless.

"I'm so...tired." Even the Doctor's face crumpled for moments before he composed himself. "And weak. I feel so, so weak."

Portia looked like she could weep for her ruler right then and there.

But Asra stepped forward, placing a hand on Nadia's frail shoulder and giving her a hope-filled glance. One Nadia refused to decipher, for the sadness in her just would not allow it. The depression consuming her mind could not allow it. All of the shattered pieces of her heart and soul just wouldn't allow it.

"Would you like a nap before you visit the coffin again? If you want me to I could make you tea?" A simple shake of the head from Nadia had Asra nodding, solemn.

"I do wish for a bath." Was all Nadia mentioned. Portia was instantly smiling and on her feet, excited to be able to do something for her countess.

"And Portia?" Nadia called behind her as the youngest Devorak headed for her bathing room. Portia paused, wispes of her messy bun falling from the updo as she paused abruptly.

"Yes, Majesty?"

"I'd like to wear black today." As she always did on these sorrowful days.

"Of course." And Portia was gone.

Silence filled the room, roaring ever louder even as Julian and Asra looked to one another. Something was in the air between them, and Nadia was so close to dismissing them for her nap before Asra excused himself.

"If you'll excuse me Noddy, I have research to do in the library." Nadia simply nodded. And with a final smile, Asra was gone in seconds, the click of the door leaving only Julian.

Their conversation from earlier filled her ears, the same line echoing over and over again. I am convinced that Noddy could die of a broken heart if she doesn't start caring for herself.

And she was left feeling...nothing. Bored acceptance. And that perhaps scared her the most of all.

"Doctor?" She asked, hands playing with the swirling pink and purple duvet, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Nadia?"

"Do you truly believe-" She stopped herself, looking to his eyes and seeing nothing but despair. Worry. Not as a doctor, but as a friend. "That I will die?" There. There it was. Hanging in between them, so loudly in the air that she no longer felt choked down by the words.

Julian was silent, losing her glance as Nadia truly felt the weight of her entire existence slipping through the cracks. She could almost hear the tick-tock of the clock tugging on the threads of her life. Without her, without the love of her life - she almost couldn't bare the thought of waking up tomorrow to go on like this. Not when her vampire mate was gone from this world, body held down in a coffin only for her soul to be sent to the Devil - it was all Nadia's fault.

She almost broke down then and there.

The dip of the mattress as the oldest Devorak sibiling sat beside her was enough of a distraction to ignore the lump in her throat, her red eyes meeting his grey.

"Do I think you will die? Yes. But only if you keep torturing yourself like this. You give yourself away every single day and it breaks all of our hearts. But not as much as it breaks your own. You aren't eating, you don't sleep unless you're absolutely forced under. You don't go outside anymore." Sunlight from beyond the window pressed against the drapes concealing it, the reminder of the darkness Nadia chose to live in. Julian took her hand as a tear exited her eyes. Not romantically, but the touch of a friend. Of the doctor she wrongly accused long ago. "We love you. You brought Vesuvia the greatest of joy as their ruler. But for two months ever since Y/N died," Julian paused at that, seeing the stream of tears pouring down Nadia's face at the name. "your kingdom has been shooting into depression. And you conceal yourself from anything that makes you happy, Noddy. You don't smile. Or laugh. Sometimes I hardly ever see you breathe." A plea. His words were a plea.

"She is gone. She killed and slaughtered. You did the right thing." Nadia shook her head, denial coloring her. The words she was dying to say - the words that refused to come out since that night all those months ago, slipped from the cracks.

"I killed her." A whisper. And in those three words, there was a hurricane of emotion. Saying it to Julian...it felt horrifying. Like stabbing open her throat and ripping away her heart.

Julian shook his head, eyes glassed over.

"Look at me." He said, his voice undeniably stern. Nadia's head lifted at that, eyes sitting on the audern haired man through blurred vision.

"You saved us. And I know that it was one of - if not the most painful choices of your life. I believe that you loved her. More than life. But I also believe that she changed. And in that, I want you to go forward. To never stop. You need to let go. At one point...I wanted to stop. I had to let go." He looked down, a distant look in his eyes. Intrigue flickered in the countess.

"And what made you keep going?"

"The things and people I couldn't lose."

~♡~

/// EIGHT MONTHS AGO \\\

YOU HAD NEVER felt this way about anyone before. Not in your three hundred years of life, not when romanticism was the least of your concerns. You had never fallen in love, and even if you ever had, never this fast.

You knew it was impossible to compare considering the few short-lived flings you have had in the last few centuries, but none of them ever came close to what you and Nadia possessed.

It took two months. Two months to let your hair back and expand your arms. Two months to get to know beauty herself, to understand that the compassion and intelligence that drove  Nadia Satrinava was enough to make you fall unconditionally in love with her. Of course the attraction had been there since the beginning, but the mental state of your relationship was all the more secure.

Telling her of your immortal existence was surprisingly as easy as breathing. And what surprised you beyond that was how quick Nadia was to accept you that night. She had taken your face in her hands and kissed you with the intensity of fire...and you sure as hell allowed yourself to burn.

However you both had danced around those three little words, often implying it but never allowing such a powerful sentence to be said aloud. Tonight...you had other plans. A romantic gesture that took weeks of planning, weeks of coordination. It of course wouldn't be your first date, you had private dinners many times beforehand, even horse-riding sessions with the countess were always a treat. But you wanted more. More beyond the usualities that took place. You wanted to give Nadia everything...your everything because she deserved that and more.

The moon was full as you stood upon Nadia's balcony, stars of promise blinking at you with wishful eyes. Tonight. You would tell her tonight. You fiddled around with the velvet box in your oversized trench coat, the box mere ounces where mentally it felt like the weight equivalent to bricks. Would she say yes? Were you going too fast? Mating presents were a custom to offering your lover...but in two months? Damn it all to hell, you considered running back to your room then and there, but-

A hand traveling up the length of your side from behind, the trench coat preening upwards as a caramel hand squeezed at your curves. A bold move from the countess, considering you moved to lean against her front, Nadia pressing you further into the bars of the balcony as placing a ghost of a kiss to your cheek, her other hand circling around your collarbone.

The arch of your back was completely unintentional. You gave a dark chuckle and whispered seductively, "Hello, my dream."

Your insides turned to molten, head spinning as you suddenly remembered why you were here. Spellbounded by the pink-haired female behind you, you turned around, facing your countess and nearly forgetting to breathe as you took her in.

Nadia's hair was down, curled at the ends and parted to the side, free and flowing with the light breeze.. You had never seen it down and instantly fell in love with this woman all over again. It was insanity how easily she could undo you. How a simple change of hairstyle was leaving you reeling. But what she was wearing....oh dear gods.

A passionate red nightgown hugged her shimmering body, stopping inches below from her core and the neckline so V-lined that you could nearly see the entirety of her breasts. An angel. A gift sent to you from whatever gods and myths promised to exist from the birth of this magnificent creature.

You had realized that you had been staring so long when you met Nadia's scarlet eyes, glazed over with pure desire and endless admiration. Your hands trembling as you moved forward, you clutched the strap of her nightgown and heard Nadia's sharp intake of breath at your cold fingers, eyes closing slightly as you trailed them over her hardened nipples. "Y/N." She groaned, the sound so stimulating you swear your knees nearly turned to liquid.

But you focused on - slowly, ever so slowly - guiding your fingers to go lower, dancing over her upper chest and lower to meet her abdomen.

"You are so beautiful, my lovely empress." You whispered seductively, moving closer so your mouth was pressing kisses to her neck at the same moment you reached the end of her nightgown. You were going to go insane just standing upon such beauty, mad even. Your tongue licked over the column of her neck, Nadia's moan so low in her throat that a part of you screamed to make it even louder.

"Y/N, kiss me." She begged, her hand going to rest over the small of your back, pulling you closer as your lips met in a tangle of groans and delight.

Kissing Nadia was like chasing the stars, endless and exciting - going towards something that you wanted your entire life. It wasn't until your back pressed even harder into the balcony when you felt her hand travel underneath your cocktail dress, rubbing you through your silken panties. You moaned at the impact, the carnal instinct in your immortal mind reeling.

"Oh, fuck," You breathed as you threw your head back, eyes closing and truly moaning when her fingers pulled your underwear to the side, two slim fingers instantly inserted inside of you.

Nadia's fingers curved into your wetness, making you bark curses as you saw stars gather behind your eyes. Nadia began sucking on the sensitive spot of your neck, releasing only when a bruised love bite was left in it's wake.

"I have wanted to do this," She growled in your ear, making you question who truly was the vampire here. "Since I saw you in that tight red dress the night we met." You groaned as she added another finger, your hands flying to dig into her narrow waist as you grinded against her, her teeth biting into your shoulder.

"You're so wet." She groaned, and you instantly wished to wrap your hands around her pretty little neck-

It wasn't until you were reminded of the obsidian ring in your pocket when you moved away from Nadia, her expression crestfallen. Instant guilt settled in your stomach as you gave her a small smile, moving forward to place both hands upon her cheeks.

"Nadia Satrinava, do you know how much you mean to me?" The words caused the entirety of her red orbs to soften, her lips slowly meeting yours in a small, passionate kiss. When you drew away, Nadia's wide-mouthed smile made your eyes dance. Her hands rested upon your hips.

"I love you." She whispered, and the words - you swore - were your salvation. Your stomach jumped and suddenly tears were in your eyes, the world frozen as her fingers shot up to wipe away the salty tears. "Y/N L/N, I love you."

It all snapped into place then. All those years of living in the darkness and watching Death make it's rounds. All of the failure and misconceptions. The good and the bad, the fangs and even stomaching the blood. It was to come to this woman - and to experience this moment. To defend the countess of Vesuvia and love her unconditionally.

And nothing, nothing, made more sense than this.

"And I love you, Nadia." You said with perfect clarity, and her heart quickened, hammering in your love's chest at the confession. "Be mine." You said out of pure desperation, placing feather-like kisses along the length of her nose as she laughed out of joy. "I understand that this all went down in mere months," A kiss on her lips, continuing just above a sharp pink eyebrow. "But I want to spend every waking moment with you." Another kiss to her hairline. "I want to wake up beside you as the birds sing." A kiss to her temple. "I want to rule beside you as Vesuvia's other countess, powerful beside power itself." A kiss to her palm. "I want to experience the joy of being a parent with you, Noddy." A kiss to each finger on her left hand. Tears ran down the countess's face, a smile of gratitude blooming upon her cheeks. "I want to make love to you every night and every morning." Nadia's eyes glazed at that comment. "Please my love, be my wife. Be my mate."

Finally, you stepped back, fingers trembling as you picked up the royal blue velveted box, opening it and presenting a obsidian ring, crafted all the way back two hundred years. The diamond was pure black, stunning and shining underneath the moonlight against the golden band. Nadia's eyes were filled of tears, a hand covering her mouth as she took in the jewel.

Her answer came in mere seconds, every lingering heartbeat snapping to pure happiness. "Yes. Yes I would be honored." And you stormed forward, the obsidian ring sliding onto the countess's middle finger with the perfect glide. A perfect fit.

And you weren't sure how you got entangled on the balcony then - both yours and Nadia's hands ripping at each other's clothing as you laid her down on the blanketed ground, the world hanging on a balance as you tore the silky nightgown off your mate, her body completely exposed underneath, causing you to growl. Her curves looked absolutely delicious, her eyes painted black and lids hooded by her eyelashes as she looked at you with fiery desire. The only thing on her bare body was that beautiful obsidian ring.

Suddenly you became wetter at the vision, throwing off the trench coat and damning clothes to hell as you threw off the remainder of your clothing, Nadia's eyes widening on your exposed body. And for moments you sat on your knees above her, both of you drinking one another in with hungry eyes.

It was the beautiful expedition of her body that enticed you - that although you were just inches away from such a powerful woman, her heart was your favorite feature. And for once it was not the life force tethered to her body, but instead how Nadia's heartbeat sung to you.

Your favorite song.

"You are so gorgeous." She breathed, her heart hammering in her chest. And what she did next...oh gods. She spread her legs for you, exposing herself completely to you. "Come show me what you can do, vampire."

And underneath the stars of that fateful night, you made love to your countess.

END OF PART ONE! CONTINUE TO PART TWO

#nadia x reader #countess nadia #the arcana nadia #smut #angst #sadness #depression #female!mc #female x female #vampire #vampire!mc #long reads

[legoflowers]

tagged by @chamomillles (thank youuuu) to answer these questions tag 20 (i just tagged as many people as i could before i got lazy) people you want to get to know better!

tagging: @zoja @your-local-trxnny @falooda @heavenlybimbo @shake-for-a-sheikh @teenietiny16 @madejsbian @habaebiti @eternamentesola @haram-jaan @rebel-zephyr @fourohfourlifenotfound @thefaultinourbiryanii @kashmirichaiwithmehr @whovianayesha @imran-kaan @disneychanneloriginalmovie 

name/nickname: nazneen/nazo (but im weird about only being called by my nickname by ppl older than me i hate when ppl younger than me call me nazo but otherwise i love being called by my nickname)

gender: girl 

star sign: aries

height: 5'4 (i just went to the doctor’s office today actually! havent grown an inch since fourth grade)

birthday: march 23

fav bands: i dont listen to as much music as i used to but if i do it’s usually like a single song by some random artist that i listen to on repeat for months on end i dont really listen to a lot of bands and its rare that i listen to any artist’s full album 

fav solo artists: ⬆️⬆️⬆️

song stuck in my head: redbone -childish gambino or money trees -kendrick lamar

last movie: birds of prey

last show: community atm, the last show i finished is probably some pakistani drama

when i created this blog: this specific blog was created like october 2019 but ive been on tumblr since 2015 ish

last thing i googled: chloe ting’s workout programs (im on day 8 of the hourglass challenge)

other blogs: a few sideblogs

do i get asks: not enough >:( for every 7 ask games i reblog i get like 1 ask so y’all are fake for that but usually if i get an ask it’s to express disbelief or kind of like. confusion? over like me as a human being

following: somewhere in the 400 range (but i see the same 10 mfs everyday)

followers: [redacted so as not to tempt the evil eye]

why i chose this url: it’s pushto (my mother tongue) for cat! (my favorite animal)

average hours of sleep: 7-9 rn but during school it is like 5-7

lucky number(s): 8

instruments: none

what i’m wearing: comfy ass salwar kameez made from like a jersey-ish fabric (the best! thing to sleep in its so comfy)

dream trip: no specifics i just wanna see as much of the world as i can before i croak

favorite food: my mom’s lasagna, chicken nuggets, i love love love a good salad, burgers from the halal place nearby, pizza from the halal place a lil further away, any form of cooked chicken breast, chicken biryani

nationality: american

favorite song: is it even possible to have a favorite??? yes it is, still sane-lorde

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: i was a huge fan of the sisters grimm series as a kid so that universe would be a must, pixie hollow (vidia and i would be besties and we’d talk shit about everyone), not exactly fictional but id love to live in a kalank era setting (is it rajastani im not sure)

[kittypugface]

21 Questions

Got tagged by the lovely @afsaneh-jaan to do this little thing

I havent done one of these in a long ass time

Hmmmm @iinanna or @morthoso (whichever fam lol)

If any of you wanna do this then go hog wild; can say I tagged you if ya want. Anyway, here we go

Nickname: I usually go by my first name, or my last name as of late. Used to be Oshay, but Shay is more frequently used as well. (Also used to be called horsepower or hp when I played soccer heh)

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: 5'1.5 (or 5'2 depends on the time of day)

Last movie I saw: In theaters? Probably Venom...but in general, Fantastic Mr Fox

Last thing I googled: uuuuuuuhhh the term "cul-de-sac"(for spelling purposes lol), cigar brand, and "Aztec jaguar god" (for a drawing I did)

Favorite Musicians: Florence + the Machine, Queen Lianne la Havas, John Legend, Frank Sinatra, Arnold Fitzgerald, Kendrick Lamar, Eminem; Sauti Sol, Tegan and Tiara, and Janelle Monae I'm really diggin as well heh

Theres more I'm sure but that's it off the top of my head

Song stuck in my head: Melanin by Sauti Sol

Other blogs: I have only one other side blog but I'm not sharing that one bc I dont want the tumblr feds to cancel my Good Content -lenny face-

Do I get asks: On occasion; I dont really get blown up like that here heh. But I dont mind my inbox being quiet. Makes me appreciate the asks that I do get

Following: 393 (oof I need to...sort through those...)

Followers: 536 (oh damn, thanks for following this cluster fuck of content. Glad some of yall enjoy heh)

Amount of sleep: Usually between 6 to 10 hrs, but I can function off of 5 on s good day. Though 10+ also occur, so....7 on average?

Lucky number: I don’t really think about lucky numbers but 13 pops up in my head

What I’m wearing: My work uniform currently. Outside of work though, sweatshirt/hoodie and joggers or sweatpants. With either house slippers or my fav pair of shoes

Dream Job: Animator or Illustrator for Pixar or for a game company; no particular brand in mind though

Dream Trip: Brazil! But anywhere in Europe too since I've never been any longer than a few hours

Favorite Food: Korean food~

Play any instruments: I play piano and sing a little heh; used to play trombone and baritone/euphorium. Wanna learn to play violin (but where tho)

Languages: I speak English fluently; can hold a short/small conversation in Portuguese (though I'm a bit rough), learning German and Korean, and continuing my progress on Portuguese

Favorite songs: Melanin by Sauti sol, Killer Queen by Queen, Gone by Lianne la Havas

Random Fact: Uhhhhhh I can pop my thumb in and out of place; depending on how long it's been it's either really loud or makes no noise at all

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Uhhhhhhh what aesthetic :0

#omfg i legit fixed this way before but i guess tumblr wants to be dumb #anyway #kittypugface #kitty barks #21 questions