#washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

fandom: points out that percy was suicidal in hoo

fandom: points out that jason was suicidal in hoo

fandom: points out that nico murdered someone in a way that scared reyna

fandom: points out that percy choked a goddess with her own poison which scared annabeth

me realizing why i thought these were all normal responses in the context of the situation:

#not to mention i found out that not wanting to exist and the like are put under the 'suicidal thoughts' category a few months ago #okay but at the least nico's reaction??? #i woulda done the same thing man #lbr #...that's not helping my case tho is it #suicide tw #washingdad rambles (in the tags) #pick a little #talk a little #cheep cheep cheep

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

this shitty midwest weather is THROWING ME OFF

AND IT NEEDS TO STOP

#D/ON'T REBLOG #like you'd think i'd be happy campus is closed early and classes are canceled and whoo #but i have a SCHEDULE #and this SCHEDULE has not been FOLLOWED for FOUR WEEKS STRAIGHT #and IT'S THROWING ME OFF #and I DO NOT LIKE IT #washingdad rambles (in the tags) #pick a little #talk a little #cheep cheep cheep

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

don’t you just love it when ppl think they can dictate what you do and do not do with your hair by saying things like,,,

“you’re hair’s really grown out”

and then when you tell them you’re gonna chop it all off bc they fucking initiated this convo, they say shit like,,,

“why, i want to see it long/it looks good long” (or smth to that affect (effect??))

it’s so weird and almost guilt-trippy bc it’s like they think that by them saying that i care enough abt their feelings to do smth that i actually don’t like

like bitch, my body, my hair, my choice. fuck off

#idk why i feel so strongly abt this so suddenly #it happened like hours ago #but here we are #like for one i look better with shorter hair #for two i'm not made of money i can't afford to take care of long hair #i also don't know how to take care of long hair lol #for five i don't have /time/ to take care of long hair #do i wish i did have money and time sure do! #but rn now don't have time #would rather spend my money on nerdy things (and necessities of course) #i really don't care that much to put time into my hair #some part of me does #but another part of me knows that that part of me comes from east asian societies shoving their standards of beauty down my throat #and just like western society it's toxic and companies profit off the fact that they can get you to hate yourself #(not to mention the fact that east asian societies can even do that is /because/ of western beauty standards #e.g. big eyes and small nose and pale skin) #fuck that #washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

also it’s really telling that when i watch a live performance

like taylor swift’s at the amas

and--i mean, yeah some small part of me is like, “oh i wish i’d been there to see that”

but the larger, most prominent part of me is like, “i wish i were that person holding the camera on stage for the live filming of these awards” or, after seeing the hanging camera on a cherry-picker-like crane, “wouldn’t it be cool to direct these live cameras on where to go and what camera angle to air for the ppl watching this?”

i don’t want to be an audience member (even tho that’d be cool) and i don’t want to be the famous person (even tho that’d be cool too bc i’d be able to give away so much money)

no, i want to be the camera person

#long story long: i miss theater #being stage manager was stressful #but oh man i'd totally do it #even just backstage manager #or a tech #i just miss theater so much ;_; #washingdad rambles (in the tags) #washingdad rambles

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

look

i know sally meeting poseidon in the summer and then having percy in august doesn’t add up to the 9 months of pregnancy

but like

he’s a god???

listen

if a male god can give a male human a child (apollo and kayla’s father) than i think a god can impregnate a woman and her have the baby like 3 months later or whatever that timeline is

#i'm not tagging this #bc apparently is discourse #washingdad rambles

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

couldn’t think of anything else, so have some pjo. i’m thinking poisoned sword during the last olympian; the battle on the williamsburg bridge

why are second eyes so hard lol dear god the longer i look at it the more horrifically off it looks compared to the other one lmao

i’m gonna try really hard this yr to participate every day, despite my busy schedule ;_; it’d be a fun exercise/break from hw

#inktober #inktober2018 #my art #pjo art #pjo #i'm new to this #but i'll still take constructive criticism!! #not that there's much to see here but still #i wanna to start some bigger projects soon/maybe after inktober ends... #regardless of my skill level #washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

if you’ve changed your icon to a christmas icon already

you disgust me

put it away

#IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS IT'S NOT EVEN DECEMBER SHAME ON YOU #i thought it was gonna be hard to stay away from the cells at work discord i was added to #bc i really gotta focus on my thesis for the next week or so (until i propose lbr ;_;) #but then i say they changed their icon to a christmas-themed one #and now i find it exponentially easier to not engage lol #bc I'M THAT PETTY #washingdad rambles (in the tags) #pick a little #talk a little #cheep cheep cheep

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

h.bomberguy had it right

i, too, would like to explode into light and fire while transforming into jodie whittaker rn

#instead of doing more thesis work #i took a short nap #scrolled through tumblr #watched a bunch of youtube videos abt quick changes and tokyo mew mew tranformations #scrolled through tumblr more #finished thomas sanders' most recent sanders sides video for the third time #got mad at my phone a few times bc it only connects to the wifi when i want to #(and i only have this problem in my room like wtf) #scrolled through tumblr some more #and now i'm here feeling like absolute shit #it's great #i was doing okay and now i'm just #washingdad rambles (in the tags) #pick a little #talk a little #cheep cheep cheep

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

why was i cursed to hate ship names so much?

#i'm not even being dramatic #i see a ship name and lose my fucking shit #they make me so irrationally angry #there are only two (2) exceptions #washingdad rambles #washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

welcome back to the adventures of my hyper-realistic dreams

this time it was pjo-themed

and you’d think, ah you love pjo, so this shoulda been awesome for you

you’d be dead wrong my friend

bc it was a nightmare

i remember dark waters of the ocean at night, and then being in those dark waters (mind you i have a fear of drowning bc that sounds like such a painful way to die fam), and like bc it’s a dream i can still definitely breathe, but bc it feels real my brain thinks, oh this bitch can’t breathe under water so...

and suddenly percy was there, but some strange, eldritch, dark force appeared and percy disappered

and by that i mean he was kidnapped and pulled into the darkest, coldest depths of the sea

then, there was like...a pocket of air or smth, idk it was a dream, we coulda still been underwater, where they began brainwashing him so that was fun all your dark!percy aus come to life

and then i woke up. rolled over, went back to sleep as you do, and found out annabeth had also been kidnapped, but by someone different and on dry land

it was more vivid when i had it i promise

#washingdad rambles #i wonder if this is going to be a thing now #should i make a tag for it?

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

in this yr of 2018

can we stop infantalizing asian ppl

can that be a thing

pls and thank

#washingdad vagues #i can't believe this has become a tag #washingdad rambles

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

I SHOULD FUCKING SEEN IT

ALL THE SIGNS WERE THERE

I EVEN QUESTIONED IT BUT SHRUGGED IT OFF AFTER SO LONG WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION

#washingdad vagues #idk how i feel abt this new story arc... #black butler #kuroshitsuji #ALSO i was expecting snake to die before agni #this is so sad alexa play despacito #*heavy sigh* #washingdad rambles #washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

i think the worst part abt this is like

i don’t even really care

i mean, yeah, maybe i like some mcu characters more than others

and maybe i didn’t like that one character in the first place, really, but also like i don’t want a fucking child to die, regarding toa

but rn my anxiety stems entirely from other ppl’s anxiety over this

and like

bruh

i don’t have time for that shit

finals week is literally a week away and i have to simultaneously finish all my big assignments and get those turned in, fulfill my duties as a GA in the psych department while packing up my stuff and getting it into storage before i leave friday at 6am for the train

i really just gotta log off tumblr until this blows over (will it ever tho, fucking rick literally deactivated his tumblr account. he knows what he’s done. coward)

#spoilers #kinda #burning maze spoilers #infinity war spoilers #avengers infinity war spoilers #i'm vague abt it #but tagging just in case #washingdad rambles

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

hot take

but part of the reason that elle's confession during her court case is leagues away from jake's confession in his case

isn't bc of what they did

in effect, they've done the same thing: cracked a person who's been lying thru their teeth, quite effectively, until they fall into a trap

it's bc of the context surrounding their reveals (disclaimer: i have NOT watched the entire b99 episode, just the scene, but i imagine my assumption is correct here. feel free to correct me, if i'm wrong. nicely of course)

elle is a """""dumb""""" blonde woman, who talks abt toilet paper to her sorority like a spoiled rich bitch. she likes and wears pink, she likes and cares abt her appearance, she has the popular, rich boy for a bf--she's the stereotypical white, blonde, rich chick at the beginning of the movie

by the end, she's still rich, she's still blonde (and white), she still cares abt her appearance, and has a hot (potential) bf, but her personality has completely changed. while she still cares abt the same things, she's realized that she's enough

she is a hard-working, intelligent, independent young woman. a lawyer!! that ain't easy y'all!! and ppl underestimated her bc she's blonde, and a woman, bc of where she came from. and she proved them wrong

the most crucial part of this movie is the fact that she proved them wrong with the very things that ppl underestimated her for

she revealed that that girl killed her father, when trying to kill her step-mother, bc she knew the chemistry behind perms--hair! smth that is considered as vain if you care abt it too much

that is why elle's scene will always be better than jake's

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

bonus:

that's part of the reason i HATE the musical so much. the music, staging, and acting was great!

but they changed such a key part of the narrative, and that was the montage that took place after the "costume" party she was invited to

in the movie, she puts her foot down. she's gonna show all of them wrong and prove that she belongs there--she is just as hard-working and intelligent as any of them. and she does just that

in the musical, emmett's the one who takes on that "role." they took away her awesome autonomy, her moment, and gave it to her fucking love interest!!

#washingdad writes #like sorry not sorry you can't change my mind #idc how good b99 is #you can't take away this moment for elle #or for young women #yes she is white straight blonde #but she's also a woman and 'dumb' blonde in a field that will /always/ look down on her #not only that but she finally realizes that she can do better on the dating scene #and look this doesn't stop them from being besties #or congratulating each other on their accomplishments #but you can't tell me jake's scene is better than elle's #you just can't #washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

me handing in my methods proposal:

#it's so short #and i know it's a pilot study but still it's so short! #i just feel like i'm not meeting the expectations he had for this paper #and it's stressing me the fuck out #and the more i write it the more i question my decisions #and my life #and the reason i came to grad school #but at this point #i'm so burn out #i don't have fucks to give #i'm tired #i'm hot and sweaty and sticky #and i just wanna go home #washingdad rambles (in the tags)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

hot take

if you’re gonna write a story that takes place in china

maybe actually do the research abt china???

fair warning: if you like really like cinder and/or marissa meyer you may just wanna sit this one out

in these trying times of lost innocence of childhood and being more aware of social justice issues, i find myself being very critical of the entertainment media i consume

esp when it comes to representation, bc representation is important to me. and it’s becoming more and more important to me the older i get, as an asexual chinese-american woman. i’m still on the fence abt no rep v. bad rep, but this isn’t what this post is mainly abt

i’m currently reading cinder, by marissa meyer for my book club

and i just...i have a lot to say abt it. a lot that i really gotta get off my chest before i feel i can continue to read it

i’d preferably like to talk abt it with my friends (and maybe i will when the time comes), but i’d have to wait until june 1 and finish the book. as i said above, i really have to get this off my chest before i can finish it, so here i am, screaming into the void

so to begin, and i usually comment abt this when it comes to A LOT of east asian rep i see in entertainment media: my beef with the combination of east asian culture to mean one (1) asian/east asian culture

in this case, a combo of east asian cultureS (plural) into one (1), which would be china

honorifics

there are honorifics in china--like you definitely want to apply the correct honorific to your authority figures (i.e., parents, teachers, doctors, bosses, etc.)

and that part of china’s culture was taken, and then adapted into japanese culture today, HOWEVER, the way it’s used in japanese culture today is very different than how chinese ppl use them

okay so disclaimer real quick, chinese is my second language, and i have not taken up learning japanese, and am i’m going off information i’ve learned from my friends who took japanese as their second langauge; so the information i provide here may not be precisely accruate (hence, having trouble finding better words to explain this)

a lot of china’s honorifics aren’t as “““specific”””--for major lack of a better word--as japan’s

they have mr., miss, mrs., teacher/master, doctor, etc., and, in general, it’s custom to use them bc they are important--authority and hierarchy is v important to collectivistic cultures

japan has “““specific””” identifiers that are often, if not always, used to identify any of those older, younger, or equal to you

senpai, -chan, -san, -sama, etc., as well as other identifiers as placeholders for the person’s name to communicate who they are in relation to the person speaking (e.g., oniisan, oniichan, oniisama)

how honorifics are used in cinder is almost completely wrong, not just in culture, but also through translation

from meyer’s website:

-dàren: for a high-ranking official today is simply means adult, or grown up. it can be used as a respectful honorific toward superiors, but it mostly just means adult. archaically it did mean “your/his excellency.” but again, today, it’s mainly used to refer to an adult. and i imagine however far into the future this book takes places, they’d use it the same way??? but i mean i guess if they went back to imperialism

-shìfu: for an older male this is actually master (as an honorific, such as teacher is, or to specify a very qualified worker). sometimes it can be used to address strangers, specifically older men (not necessarily specifically, or often, used for an older male)

-jūn: for a younger male idk where she got “younger male” from bc it’s mostly used as a measure word. it can be used as an honorific, but translates to “your” not younger male. had she been going by the “honorifics” she uses below, it should be dì, which comes from dìdi (弟弟), which means younger brother (but not necessarily younger male)

-jiĕ: for an older female my best guess is this is derived from jiĕjie (姐姐), which means older sister (not necessarily older female)

-mèi: for a younger female once again, she probably derived this from mèimei (妹妹), which means younger sister (not necessarily younger female)

these specific pinyin (more specifically the last two/three) that she picked cannot be separated from the other pinyin that help to identify them. jiĕ and mèi don’t exist by themselves in the chinese language (compared to -chan, or -san do in japanese), and therefore do not translate as such in meyer’s book. not to mention, multiple characters can be applied to jiĕ and mèi depending on the context and other pinyin/character next to it that helps form the word, or helps distinguish the context

she perhaps simplified these honorifics a little too much. so much so in fact that they lost their meaning. quite literally

and, as i said before, these honorifics aren’t used like they are in japanese culture/language. you don’t tack on honorifics behind someone’s name (like a suffix) as they do in japan. the whole honorific (not just half of it, not like a suffix) comes after someone’s name, such as Lín lăoshī (林老师), which means Teacher Lin. or replaces their name entirely, such as tā shì wŏ de dìdi (他是我的弟弟), which means “this is my younger brother” (as opposed to, “this is bob, my younger brother” or variations of that same sentiment)

names

now, in this futuristic world, i can understand if there are names from other countries (esp. other east asian countries)

however, if your crown prince’s name of china has a japanese name...i’m probs gonna call you out on it. esp bc china and japan don’t have The Best history. now maybe they’ve worked thru it after all these yrs, but still

he’s the crown prince of china

he’s mostly just refered to as prince kai. which i would be okay with if it was just that bc kai is chinese

however, his full name? kaito. kaito is japanese

rikan? japanese. like wtf, if your the emperor of china, you should probs have a chinese name. i mean, you’d think hope?

iko? also japanese (i admit this is being a lil nit-picky, bc cinder or adri or whoever is free to name their android whatever-the-hell they want to, i’m just saying)

and i mean, i guess i can see names from other countries in the real world too, but you have to remember china has the largest population of ppl in the world, so the chances that there are ppl within a certain district who don’t have chinese names is v slim (esp bc you have to take the hsk to show you can contribute to society in china before they grant you a visa to live/work there).

compare that to cinder’s district, where we have cinder, adri, iko, peony, pearl, sacha, fateema, and dr. earland. oh and then the lab tech named li, who’s most definitely the only one i can assuredly say is chinese (and i would hope looks chinese)

now, again, bc it is the future, maybe more (like A LOT more) ppl have moved to china lbr tho, they’ve moved back to imperialism, why would you choose to live there? but i’d still be bitter abt it regardless, bc like china, in theory, should have chinese ppl? w/ chinese names??? i imagine it’s still a p big country in this future

optics

i really wish cinder looked chinese. this is more of a personal thing, and i get that genes aren’t so cut and dry, and if she’s a lunar, then yeah she probably won’t look completely chinese

but a girl can dream for representation other than just mulan ya know (not saying mulan sucks or anything, but it’s like, kinda the only thing i have so)

esp bc the book takes place in china. and she is said to be at least mixed “““““asian”””””

i also wish the fucking prince looked chinese--his skin is fair according to the wikia

bruh

why are you so afraid to make your main characters brown

on a more serious note, and this is getting really nit-picky (kinda) again, but i really wish meyer had put more thought into dr. earland’s character. okay, now, i haven’t finished the book so the good doctor may, in fact,,, be...a...good....................doctor..............?

but my point still stands in that dr. earland comes of as very sexist (with undertones of racism, wheeeeee) bc he hates fateen (who has dark skin, btw) bc she’s taller than him

and he’s also super creepy (as in, “where i’m from, that’s called pedophilia” kind of creepy) bc of his strange interest in young, teenage (cyborg) girls...

yeah

and okay, again, i haven’t finished the book, so maybe he’s supposed to come off that way

but an old, white dude showing too much interest in finding a young woc? not v good optics, regardless of dr. earland’s character yeah?

the fact the fateen points this out does absolutely nothing (aka lampshading).

if you point it out, but continue to fall into a harmful stereotype, you are still perpetuating the stereotype. full stop

misc

i say “misc” but most of this really falls under criticism of the author herself, misc is just shorter

i think it’s great that she’s taking this age-old fairy-tale and putting it into my place of birth, bc representation means the absolute world to me. also i really like this idea that the first telling of cinderella took place in china like fuck yeah, steal that white disney princess from the europeans

but i really wish you’d do it right

in her faq, she apologizes if she got anything wrong, but that’s like putting a band-aid over a bullet wound

how much research is research? did she just google a bunch of stuff, or did she sit down and actually talk to ppl from china? or chinese-americans who have kept their chinese culture?  participate in chinese culture to gain a better understanding?

going by the fact that she wrote cinder in a month, she probably stuck to google

which...i mean i guess i’m glad she made the effort, but it woulda been nice if she’d, after getting a book deal, consulted chinese ppl and edited what needed to be edited yeah? i know she did a little editing, but she said the whole process took 3 months from the time she found an agent to getting a book deal, so like...i’m willing to bet she didn’t sit down with some chinese folk and talk abt their culture (and so on)

and look, it’s really not that hard. and, sure it may delay when the book gets published, but at least it’d be more accurate. and better representation.

rather than falling into what most ppl do these days (i’m looking at you miraculous ladybug) and combining all the east asian cultures to make one (1) culture, and call it--not even east asian--but asian

as if that one (1) monster culture that’s mostly made of up east asian cultures could speak for the variety and diversity of a total of 48 countries, and their respective cultures, that are within the asian continent

now, this whole “calling it asian culture” isn’t meyer’s fault--it’s a side-effect of our society. like i get that, and i’m not trying to put the blame solely on her shoulders

but she still perpetuates it by choosing not to talk to chinese ppl abt a folk tale the may have originated in china, in order to ya know, make it more accurate to china. considering it takes place...IN CHINA

#okay i think i'm done #do i tag it with the book and author??? do i??? #i can't #i can't do it rn bc i haven't finished the book #i haven't read the other books in the series #these are just initial thoughts i needed to get out #they've been sitting and stewing and tonight i was becoming physically ill bc of them #so here they are #washingdad rambles (in the tags) #washingdad writes