#when is uzi allowed to say the fuck word

[umblrspectrum]

how familiar

#yea i got lazy and technically didnt shade all of her #bite me #i have unlocked so much raw power by not limiting myself to almost exclusively sharp edges #this looked a lot better in my head #i spent 4 hours on this god im tired #my layers are a fucking mess #maybe i shouldnt host all my drawings on the same file #art #artwork #murder drones #murder drones uzi #murder drones uzi solver #murder drones n #serial designation n #murder drones v #serial designation v #murder drones skig #!!!!!!!!!!! #god i fucking love skig so much #when is uzi allowed to say the fuck word

[melissa-titanium]

HELLOOO CAN I TALK TO YOU ABT DOLL

do you think that like, her being at school let her have some escape from her home and her revenge plans, like in this picture she is smiling and it looks way more like a happy smile than here

SHE IS HAPPY TO GET HER REVENGE, BUT SHE LOOKS SO TIRED, EVEN HER LAUGH IS TIRED

its like shes getting worse from the kills, in her house there was enough oil for her to not kill any other drones, yet her plan had to work, but it didnt, and only let her feeling more guilty

EVERYONE IS ALLOWED TO SEND ME SHIT ABOUT DOLL ALWAYS AT ANY TIME EVER FOREVER AND EVER. I LITERALLY NEED HER. SHES SO FUCKING COOL. BUT OMG HI YES HOLD ON

thats such an interesting take on pilot doll omg HI???? YES I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS CONSIDERING WE DONT SEE DOLL IN SCHOOL OUTSIDE OF THE PILOT. HIIII YES OMG ok ok.

i havent actually thought this much about this. i personally think her in the pilot vs her in promening was like. not really a Whole big difference but like...the fact that lizzy now has access to v set her off. shes always been a little unsettling, a little fucking deranged but maybe something happened between ep 1 and 3 thatr was like. lizzy came to her like... hey, one of the disassembly drones came by my bunk the other day. was this the one? (shows doll a pic) and doll just FUcking Loses it . i think she was actively vengeful during the pilot too but YES like ur saying its almost a .grounding thing. everyone here is real and alive. and then at the end of the day she has to go back and face dozens upon dozens upon dozens of corpses that are there because of HER and its liike. idk i imagine shes 18-22 . shes young as hell. and that FUCKS WITH YOU. this is doll to me:

they know damn well her parents are dead but she's just under being eerie enough that no one really suspects her for anything going on. she's relatively normal around lizzy & not aggressive but not outgoing with other students. like to everyone, shes just a normal kid who lost her parents. plenty of kids have lost their parents, considering the murder drones lurking *right outside the bunker.*

i think she would get tired. yeah. she held onto the all consuming debilitating hatred for these genocidal war machines that killed her parents and countless others. then heartbeat happens, and suddenly people are Okay with them??? that would fucking set her OFF. so long, so fucking long shes been holding onto her anger and not being able to do anything about it . BUT NOW SHE CAN. ough ok but then theres those conflicting feelings bcos of uzi. u can see in promening she has SOME sense of... for lack of a better word, humanity in how she treats uzi (hell even tossing lizzy out of the way when she started killing people.) i think she picks and choses who she cares about and then is usually consistent in how she treats them. basically; dont get on her bad side. she's conflicted at the end of ep3 after learning uzi has the solver; but uzi is siding with the murder drones and thats HER loss for being SCHTUPIDDDDDDDD!!!! but then again, she finally has someone who understands what shes going through... but also AUGH..! i have to kill v i HAVE to kill v ive gotten so far i cant give up now FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! i think there would be so much of her being conflicted between uzi knows what i feel. but also uzi is siding with the bitch who killed my fucking parents. i think she would just spiral and spiral until dead end comes along and she has a decision to make. and she makes it. and uzi is Fucked and v is Fucked and n and tessa are FUCKEd AND OK TYHIS IS GETTING LONG IM DONE

doll jumpscare

#asks #murder drones #mel art

[unhingedpolycule]

Dogs on an airplane

Townsfolk of Tumblr! Y'all have decided on my dialogue so this is what I made of it! I hope you guys enjoy it!

It's also on my AO3 :)

~Moss

His luggage had been lost, his connection flight severely delayed and the room in which he stayed had not just one couple fucking the whole night in the neighbouring rooms but two! So, it was just Johnny’s luck that he, upon getting onto the tightly packed plane, was seated right next to the creepy as shit looking guy who, for some reason, was allowed to wear a goddamned balaclava on the plane. Why not a stressed business woman. Or a couple of retired folks. Why did it have to be the guy that Johnny would constantly feel on guard about? 

Thank fuck the flight only took a few hours. 

He smiled politely when putting his luggage in the overhead compartment and then nodded toward where the man was sitting. 

“Sorry mate. Ah think yer on my seat.” 

A long, cold stare. Johnny didn’t avert his eyes, rising to the challenge and not letting the man stare him down. He wasn't going to let a man with a skull print mask for no apparent reason other than to scare people off. 

“No I’m not.” 

Johnny checked his ticket. He had booked the window seat, right? A look on the row and seat, a quick check on the overhead signs indicating which seat was which. Yes, he had been right. 

 “Well, my ticket says-” 

The stranger just kept staring and behind him a woman got impatient with the idiot who just stood in the aisle so Johnny sighed and just took the seat at the aisle, sliding his backpack underneath it. The one between them was taken up by a book and a bottle of water. A few last passengers filtered in while Johnny put on his headphones and picked a playlist, closing his eyes. He loved takeoff, loved watching the world beneath them shrink and finally disappear under a blanket of clouds but he could live without it. He wasn't a child. 

The plane began to move, maneuvering into position on the runway, stopping briefly before starting to move again, faster and faster, finally the wheels lost contact with the ground and Johnny was pushed back into his seat comfortably. He enjoyed the sensation for a long moment before the biggest rush was over. He opened his eyes again, a vacant smile on his lips that vanished the second he looked over to catch a glimpse out the window despite his seat. 

“That's a dog!” Johnny’s voice was as quiet as a shriek of absolute terror would allow. 

“Yes.” Came the answer matter-of-factly, “a puppy. Now keep quiet about this or I will get in trouble.” 

The man didn't seem to think that simply telling Johnny to shut up could possibly backfire on him. Usually people were intimidated by his presence, he supposed, but with a couple years of military career, Johnny was not. That didn't mean that he wasn't positively floundering at the dog that had poked its head out of the three quarters unzipped hoodie jacket of the man beside him. 

“How did you- this-” Soap opened and closed his mouth a few times in a quite passable carp impersonation, “How did ye get this thing through security!” 

All that he got in reply was a shrug. And then, after a long pause, finally some words: “Same way I got my guns through security.” 

Words that Johnny couldn’t believe got a single second. “Yer fucking what?”

“My guns, aren't you listening?”

“How are ye more casual about having weapons on you than a fucking--” The look the stranger gave him made Johnny lower his voice again, his whisper urgent, “A fucking dog! Nobody hijacked a plane with the help of a puppy!” the stranger looked quite unimpressed with his outburst, “Okay, right, how the fuck did ye get yer weapons through the security check?” 

“Have you ever seen a guy with three knives and a micro uzi get through security?” Johnny shook his head and the stranger rolled his eyes at how simple the solution to this problem seemed to be to him,  “Obviously, I wouldn't have, so I didn't.” 

Now he was just fucking with Johnny. Straight up. There was no way this was actually true. 

Over him staring at the man unbelievingly, he didn't notice the small, wet nose that came closer until it touched Johnny’s bare upper arm which made him yelp, pulling away as the stranger zipped his hoodie up further, giving Johnny a glare, “You’ll give us away!”

“Us? Ah am having no part in this!” Johnny snapped. If it was up to him there would be no dog existing in a ten foot radius of him! 

“You know about her, you have part in this now.” The man would absolutely lie about this, wouldn't he? He would get Johnny in trouble alongside him if he got caught. Fine, he would try to be more subtle. Just having made peace with the thought of coexisting with the puppy quietly, the stranger spoke up again, “You almost act like you’re scared of her.” 

“Ah’m not scared!” Johnny insisted, the man sitting in front of them had apparently heard him over his blasting music and turned to look at the two of them through the slit between seats. Johnny smiled apologetically. Inside voice, he reminded himself. 

“Pet her then.” The man said when the man had turned back around and they had made sure that they hadn’t roused any other attention. The zipper was pulled down a little again and the happily little panting face pushed out of the confines of the shirt again, curiously pushing toward Johnny. Johnny reared back, the stranger pulled the little dog back and distracted her with head scratches way more careful than Johnny would have ever considered of a behemoth like that, “Knew you were scared.” he commented drily without any kind of smug satisfaction. 

“Snakes are more up my alley. They dinnae bite, they dinnae pee all the time, they are quiet.” Well, the noise level wasn't exactly what drew Johnny to snakes but who had to know that? Nobody. He would never see the man again. 

“She doesn't bite. Has been in my hoodie for hours now and she's been behaving just great.” 

“Hours, huh?” How could a person have trust in a dog like that? Even just considering, what if she started whining? Or what if she needed to go? Oh god, that was an issue, wasn't it? Because the stranger couldn't just take his dog to the damn bathroom. 

“Yes.” The man was utterly oblivious of the necessarily impending doom. 

Johnny tipped his head to the side and gave the stranger a long look, “It’s only a matter of time before it pees on ye.” 

“She peed before we came on here.” The man said and the flight attendant walking by gave them a weird look. Johnny smiled at her and gave her a one shouldered shrug. Both of them waited until the flight attendant was gone before looking back at each other,  “Which means she’ll make it until we land again.” 

There was a stretch of silence. 

“You’re a sick fuck.”

He looked back down at the puppy whose movements were very clear if Johnny actually paid attention. 

“Oh, Ah’m a sick fuck?” Johnny asked incredulously, “Ah am a sick fuck?” 

The stranger gave him an appraising look before coming out with his answer that was just as short as it was easy. 

“Yes.”

“Oh, humor me. What makes me the sick fuck between the both of us, Mr. ‘Ah wear a balaclava on a plane and also ah say ah have guns on me and also ah am hiding a god damned dog in me sweater and if ye tell anyone ah’ll get ye into trouble too’?” 

Another pause. When the stranger answered it sounded 100 percent serious. 

“It’s not a sweater.” 

Johnny gaped at the man, speechless. That was the point he was trying to nitpick then? The sweater? 

“Close your mouth before flies get in it.” the stranger’s eyes crinkled at the corners. A smile, finally. This motherfucker. “And it’s the snakes. Snakes are fucking nasty.” 

“Ye’re fucking nasty.” Johnny muttered. The stranger turned back to look out of the small window but he audibly tried to hide his chuckle by clearing his throat loudly. 

Johnny didn’t put his headphones back on, but he fell asleep in his seat with the conversation between them having run its course. 

When he woke up, it was to a big hand on his shoulder and the printed smile of a skull mask. 

“Touching down in 20.”

“Huh?” Johnny said intelligently and this time the huff sounded a little annoyed. 

“We’re landing in twenty minutes. Wipe the drool off your face.” 

Johnny scrambled to do just that, swiping his sleeve over his mouth and cheeks. This time he missed the way the stranger smiled, turning his masked face back to the window. He brushed his hands over his face roughly and yawned, trying to wake up properly. 

“Th’nks fer wakin’ me.” 

“You’re welcome.” The stranger said, petting the sleepy puppy who was curled up on his lap and half hidden by the hoodie. 

Johnny watched him pet her. 

“Yer not going to hide her a wee bit better? Woulnae surprise me if someone saw.” 

“What are they going to do? Kick us out at 20.000 feet?” The stranger said with a noncommittal shrug. 

“First of all, ye better mean yerself and that dog and not me.” Johnny said and the look that the man gave him told him that no, he was clearly seeing Johnny as his partner in crime. Great. “Second, ye were really insistent about me keeping it quiet earlier. Wha’ changed?” He yawned again and the stranger handed him a closed bottle of water. 

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Johnny was about to ask what exactly qualified as stupid questions but in the end decided to just roll his eyes and crack the bottle open, taking a few swigs. 

They didn't speak much before the plane landed, Johnny dozing some more and the stranger quite preoccupied with the dog whenever Johnny did open his eyes to check the time and how much more time he had before having to get out and into his hotel. 

One more night in a hotel bed before he was expected to report for duty with the 141. He smiled and the plane landed. 

Somehow the stranger got off the plane before Johnny, throwing him a lazy salute when Johnny walked down the stairs and onto the tarmac. He was wearing a simple duffel bag over his shoulder that clearly had its best years behind it, and held his arm in a highly suspicious pose. 

Before Johnny could catch up with him so they could walk out together, the man disappeared in the opposite direction to everyone else. Johnny grinned, shouldering his own duffel and followed the crowd. He had no reason not to go through the regular channels after all, fun as it might have been to watch a man and his puppy - and maybe guns, Johnny reminded himself - evade security. 

The base was busy, soldiers buzzing all around him as the man who had introduced himself to Johnny as Kyle led him over the premises. He was nice, around Johnny’s age and easy to talk to, laughing at his ludacris story of the man on the airplane.

“Sounds like one hell of a trip, Soap. At least it wasn't boring, huh - oh! Hey, there’s someone you should meet!” Kyle shouted across the open area, waving his arm, “Lieutenant!'' The person he wanted to attract the attention of apparently wasn't showing the reaction that Kyle had wanted to because he shouted louder, “Oi! Ghost!” 

Johnny froze. 

“That’s the one.” was all he could whisper before the man in the skull balaclava came to stand in front of him, frowning under his mask. Gaz gave Johnny a confused look but didn’t ask any further questions. 

“Sergeant.” The Ghost said. Johnny felt like his breath had been punched out of him. He had spent the entire flight watching his superior officer hide a dog in his hoodie and hadn't even known!

“That’s the new guy, John-”

“Sergeant MacTavish.” Ghost finished. His voice was neutral and his brown eyes were sparkling mischievously, “Hand picked by Price for the 141. Youngest person to ever make the tryouts for the SAS. Impressive.” 

Johnny did his carp impression again, his eyes now flicking down Ghost’s body, only dressed in a shirt and jeans, arms crossed over his chest, a whole sleeve of tattoos sneaking down one of them. When he looked back up, the Lieutenant was grinning again, it bled into his voice, smug, “I am sure that you are capable of honoring confidentiality, Sergeant?”

Kyle was looking back and forth between them. The question was right on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t ask, instead watching the situation play out. 

“Aye, sir.” Johnny said, “Can keep my yap closed.” 

“Good man.” The Lieutenant clapped his hand on his shoulder and then walked away again, “Come to my room after Sergeant Garrick has finished showing you around!” he rounded the corner and was gone. 

“Gaz, he is the one!” Johnny whispered urgently. 

“The one you wanna marry? Yeah, saw you eyefuck each other, alright. As long as you two can keep it quiet it should be fine, our Captain doesn't take certain rules too seriously." 

Johnny huffed, shaking his head, “From the plane, ye numpty! That was the guy from the plane, with the goddamned dog!” 

There was a long moment of silence between them. 

“Ah. Well. It does sound like something Ghost would do.” Kyle finally said, then adding "It's The Crow Incident all over again…"

#call of duty #ghost cod #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #soap cod #ghost soap #kyle gaz garrick #dog #Moss Writes #call of duty fanfiction #cod fanfiction #soapghost fanfiction #soapghost fanfic

[bearkkyou]

Take your boyfriend to work day

Alright, another degenerate pico x bf post down. I’ve got some angst brewing on the way, so look forward to it, or don’t. Slight NSFW implication, there’s nothing explicitly mentioned, but it’s implied. Italics are thoughts. This one is 2493 words total. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Alright babe, I’m gonna head out now.” Pico calls from the living room, as he grabs his keys. “Hold on, wait a sec!” Boyfriend comes running over from the kitchen, and hugs Pico from behind. “Stay safe, ok?” He hugged Pico tightly, snuggling into him a bit before letting him go. “Aww, are you worried about me? That’s adorable.” Pico gave him a smug look as he turned around and hugged Boyfriend properly, planting a kiss on his forehead, which made Boyfriend smile in a bashful way. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, you know this! Hmph.” Boyfriend lets go of Pico, and turns around, acting upset, when in reality he’s just trying to act tough like Pico. Boyfriend doesn’t like watching him leave the house, knowing that he’s putting his life in harms way just because he wants to, and he can. It doesn’t sit right with him, but, if it makes Pico happy, he doesn’t want to put a stop to it. “I’ll be fine, you know this.” Pico puts his hands on Boyfriend’s shoulders and turns him around while giving him a small, but warm smile, as he pulls him into another hug. “You promise, right?” He looks up at Pico, a worried look on his face, that was soon turned into a soft gaze as he stared deep into Pico’s eyes. “ Of course, babe. Don’t worry, I promise I’ll be fine. And if I do end up hurt, I’ll patch myself up to save you the worry, ok?” Pico gazed back at him and bent down just a bit to plant a soft kiss on his lover’s lips before pulling back to plant one more on his forehead. This made Boyfriend blush, as he nodded softly. Pico grabbed his guns and slipped them into his back pockets as he made his way out the door, waving a final “goodbye”, before he took off. This left Boyfriend all alone in the house, bored as always. He went back to the kitchen to grab a can of Monster, and cracked it open before sitting at Pico’s desk. As he turned to use the laptop sitting there, he started pondering. “What even is his job, anyway?” He understood that it was rather dirty work, mostly involving the killing of others, but what exactly was it? How was it done, and most importantly, why? Boyfriend knew he wasn’t exactly going to get answers, as Pico rarely talks about his jobs. Most of the time when Pico comes home, he hits the shower, Boyfriend patches him up and then they cuddle and watch tv until they both fall asleep. But this left Boyfriend wondering, and he was wondering hard. He just wanted to see what it was like, at least once, just to know what exactly is it that his lover does. As he sat there, Boyfriend imagined what Pico would look like in the current moment: he though Pico looked like some sort of secret spy, stalking the enemy from afar, taking quick and calculated shots to not alert the others, doing his job efficiently. The thought stuck with him, and it left him starstruck. To imagine his amazing boyfriend in a life-or-death situation where he just overpowers the enemy in their totality, it shook him to his core, and a warm sensation overcame him. He wanted to see Pico in action. He needed to see with his own eyes what Pico looked like, what was his expression like, what his tactics were, Boyfriend wanted to see all of it. He wanted that experience for himself. And with his mind fully collected, he threw on his sneakers and headed off on a mission to find and watch Pico from afar. He was confident that just watching him would be fine, and once he had his fill he would quickly head home to not cause Pico any problems. “I’ll be fine!” He thought, his overconfidence shining in the dark. “And if anything happens, I know Pico will protect me.” Boyfriend put all his faith into his lover, knowing that Pico would always prioritize him over anything. Boyfriend had no problem leaving his life in Pico’s hands, and it shows.

He set off on a mission to find his lover, no matter how long it took. Thinking back to the small details Pico had mentioned, Boyfriend could make a mental map of how far away his lover was, and he set off on foot, knowing that a 20-minute run would do him well to burn off the can of Monster he vigorously chugged down before leaving. He ran through alleyways, behind colorful, flashy buildings, and around desolate areas until he heard gunshots from far away, recognizing the sound instantly. “It’s Pico!” After listening to Pico fire his gun so many times in previous situations, he’s come to memorize the sound for his own benefit, in case if something were to happen. Running towards the harsh sounds, he turned ‘round the corner of a rather tall building as numerous neon signs shone their light down the long street, illuminating the silhouette of various figures. This was it. Boyfriend had found where Pico was. Now all he had to do was find Pico himself, which was a rather easy task, as he could be heard from afar but not seen. Boyfriend assumed that his thoughts were wrong, and that Pico prefers being the center of attention rather than shooting from the sidelines, but it didn’t matter to him, if anything, it made Boyfriend even more excited to be there, knowing that he would be able to watch his lover at full power. He snuck around some of the cars that were parked along the street, getting closer and closer with each step, making sure to stay as hidden as possible. He peaked over one of the cars to try and get a peak of what Pico was doing, and what he saw made his face flush, and he shuddered at the sight: Pico was fighting 3 people at once, throwing calculated punches left and right, seeming to read his enemies like books. Once one person was knocked down, he grabbed his Uzi from his back pocket and began to shoot at the other two. He took a deep breath for a second and allowed the others to come charging at him. Dodging a punch, he shot the offender, but after he turned Pico got kicked in the back, and was knocked to the floor, but he held onto his gun tight, and shot forward at the crowd that had soon surrounded him. Pico continued his onslaught of targets, still getting hurt in the process, although he kept the promise he made to Boyfriend fresh in his mind, and tried his best to avoid more lethal harm. As Boyfriend watched in awe, he felt the urge to cheer his lover on. He knew that he would be caught if he did, but he wanted to so badly, even if it meant risking his life. He wasn’t scared, if anything, he knew Pico would immediately save him if harm came too close. As Boyfriend contained himself, he continued to watch, his urge to cheer continuing it’s buildup as Pico overpowered the enemy with swift, merciless movements. Boyfriend said he would leave when he’s had a fill of Pico’s action, but if anything watching him fight in person only makes him want to watch more and more, and in a moment of pure adoration, Boyfriend lost himself and sang at the top of his lungs. “Go Pico! Yeah yeah, go Pico!” And as Boyfriend sang, Pico was caught off guard, and punched in the face, being knocked back onto the floor and dropping the guns he had on hand. Before he could get up, his enemies started moving towards Boyfriend, watching him stand atop the car he was previously hiding behind, singing his heart out, cheering his lover on. Boyfriend seemed fearless, and while Pico admired his lover for that, he was concerned more about his safety, so in a moment of desperation he jumped off the floor and grabbed the guns he dropped, making a break for his lover, shooting the crowd that formed around him as he tackled his boyfriend off the car, making sure to hold his head to not harm him. “What the fuck are you doing here, babe?!” He questioned, panicked as he grabbed his lover’s hand and ran as quickly as possible. Pico would’ve been running faster had Boyfriend not been dragging his feet, but he tried to not pay any mind to it as he looked back, watching the last few unharmed targets open a case and pull out various guns from them. Shit was about to go down, and Pico was concerned about Boyfriend’s presence so he ran far and turned into a tight alleyway, pinning his lover close against the wall to make sure they weren’t going to be seen. “What the fuck, Boyfriend…?! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Haven’t I told you to stay at home, you’re gonna get hurt, what were you thinking?!” Pico started rambling in a hushed voice, sweat running down his face as he panicked, trying to think of a way to hide his lover from harms way. But on the other hand, Boyfriend wasn’t paying attention to what Pico was saying at all, and he was rather focused on how tightly he was pinned to the wall, how hot Pico’s breath was against the side of his face, how his clothes were bloodstained and sweaty, and how hot his boyfriend looked when he was in the zone. When Pico realized that Boyfriend wasn’t paying attention to anything, he forced Boyfriend to look up at him by tilting his head up and staring him down with a seriously concerned look, that turned slightly confused when he looked at Boyfriend’s wildly clouded, starstruck expression. “Hey, are you even listening to me…?!” “…You’re funking hot when you’re killing people, you know that, right?” That’s all he could muster as his thoughts were focused elsewhere, thinking about other scenarios that he and Pico could be caught up in. Pico was confused. Panicked and confused. “Wh… What the fuck is wrong with him?! Doesn’t he know that we can die at any second?! Why is he so fucking amused by this?” “That’s not the point, babe! What the hell are you doing here? You’re gonna get yourself into deep waters if you stay here!” Pico was trying to act as serious as possible, despite his lovers current state. “Aw, Pico… I just wanted to see what you were like while you were working! I got so curious as to how it was, and what you did. What you looked like… How you acted…” Boyfriend’s voice trailed off as he started staring at Pico in inappropriate places in an obvious manner, which made Pico focus on Boyfriend even more. “Hey, hey, hey, not now, ok? Let’s at least get home first, I wouldn’t want to die while getting a sloppy toppy.” Pico gave his lover a smug smile, and in return Boyfriend flushed entirely, not expecting that for a response, yet accepting it wholeheartedly, nodding furiously. Pico led Boyfriend to a blind spot in the alleyway and sat him there. “If it’s a show you want, a show is what you’ll get, love. Just don’t peak your head out too far, yeah?” Pico winked and Boyfriend just melted in his spot, the warmness in his body escalating visibly, which Pico caught wind of, only giving him more reasons to tease his lover with his killing expertise. Pico walked out into the middle of the alleyway to finish the job, making sure to look back every few seconds to make sure Boyfriend was watching, not hesitating to show off for his lover’s entertainment. Trick shots and swift hits were all that Pico to finish the job, for now, at least. He knew reinforcements would be arriving soon, and he was a bit more hurt than he would like to be, but that wasn’t stopping him from entertaining Boyfriend. “So, how was that for a show?” Pico went over to Boyfriend to pick him up and urge him out of the alleyway, trying to get out as quickly as possible. He was bloody everywhere, most of it not his, but bloody, regardless. “You…” Boyfriend wiped the blood off Pico’s face, with the back of his hand. “You look really hot with blood coming out of your nose…” Boyfriend tried to match Pico’s pace, but to no avail as he was too focused on Pico’s appearance and what he just witnessed to move his feet correctly. “Heh, glad you think so, babe. Try and pick it up though, there are a few more people coming and I don’t want you getting hurt. We’re almost there, ok?” “Almost where?” Boyfriend asked confused, as he started moving his feet properly. In the distance he could see something that looks like a bike, but he wasn’t 100% sure what it was. “My motorcycle. We’re getting the fuck out of here.” Pico looked back lustfully at Boyfriend, which made him immediately start running the right way. Once they were by the cycle, Pico quickly handed his helmet to Boyfriend and got on, turning on the motor, and revving the engine. “Hold on tight, it’s gonna be a tricky ride.” As they took off, the last few recruits came after them, which made Pico turn the bike around, but he never stopped driving. If anything, he was going faster than before, and with the last reload of ammo he had, he took down the last few enemies. Boyfriend held onto Pico’s waist tightly, the adrenaline rush in him overflowed and he felt ecstatic to be able to witness his lover’s daily deeds. As Pico turned the bike around once more, the tires screeched loudly, only to abruptly stop, and continue on the way home. Pico popped a wheelie or two on the way, only to add to his lover’s adornment.

When they arrived home, Pico parked his bike in the front yard, and Boyfriend put the helmet he was wearing back in it’s place. Pico smiled at him mischievously, and as they walked through the front door of the house, he quickly locked the door before allowing Boyfriend to throw himself onto him. Kissing and stripping down, to nothing, they decided that it would be best to hit the shower first before doing anything too extreme. Pico decided that the best time to get a sloppy toppy was when he was clean and patched up. In reality, he was just teasing Boyfriend, making him wait for the better part of the night, but Pico made sure that the wait was worthwhile, and that it would be quite some time before Boyfriend decided to follow Pico to work again.

#fnf #fnf bf x pico #fnf pico #fnf bf #bf fnf #pico #picos school #pico friday night funkin #bf friday night funkin #bf x pico #pico x bf #friday night funkin #boyfriend x pico #pico x boyfriend

[fnf-brain-rot]

the grief between two powers

Note: This story is based off of the scenario of CosmicCove's "I didn't think it would end this way" on A03 where Pico goes through with killing Boyfriend. This is my spin on how they would handle it. It's kinda sad.

________________________________________________________________________________

Unbelievable..

Her parents had the audacity to actually go through with killing the one being on this god-forsaken planet that made her so unconditionally happy. She almost couldn't process the rage building up in her chest from the mere thought of ever seeing their faces again.

And they won't.

A snarl rested permanently on her face as she replayed the scene over and over again in her head. Boyfriend dropping onto the cold concrete, his blood splattering against it from the hole in his chest. All because he was so caring. So sweet.

"Hey Pico! Long time no see! What are you doing here man?"

Pico...

"Pico.." The name seeped between Girlfriend's teeth like venom from a snake. The anger she felt was so intense that she couldn't even hide her purple skin and sharp claws. So what if someone saw her like this? It didn't matter. Not anymore.

For them to know each other, most likely knowing what person he was taking out of this world, and to still go through with it. And for what? Money?

She found herself stumbling aimlessly through the city, but not so much so. Her surroundings showed the train tracks they were waiting for.. Pico... at.

That bastard..

The gleam of her red irises cut through the darkness of the empty lot, and she walked over to her.. deceased Boyfriend's blood spatter. Her anger almost faltered. She almost dropped to her knees and sobbed like she had before, overwhelmed with grief.

Then she smelled it.

It wafted up to her nose, subtly, but she quickly sniffed it out again.

His scent.

Pico's scent.

It hit her like a truck, the sudden desire for bloodshed. For revenge. She followed the path between the dark alley it came from, making her way to him. She was going to make him regret even stepping foot of his house this night. She was going to make him hurt.

________________________________________________________________________________

He wasn't faring much better himself.

Pico felt the regret. He knew what he did was wrong, but shit, most of what he did was wrong. It wasn't wrong in the normal sense though. Boyfriend.. He didn't even hesitate. He shot him almost automatically.

He figured if he didn't think about it, it wouldn't haunt him as much, as if Cassandra's voice wasn't already taunting him from beyond the grave.

He just tried to relax on his worn down couch, in his empty, lonely little apartment. He tried to avoid looking at the gun he set on the table. The same gun used to take Bee's life. The same gun sworn to protect his own.

Pico clasped his hands on either side of his head, staring blankly at his sock covered feet pulled onto the couch.

Ha.. He shot him and didn't even say hi. Barely even looked at him.

Moments of the past flashed in his mind, like a flickering slide show of old memories. When they dated back in middle school. Sure it was a long time ago, and middle school was ass. But who helped him through it? Boyfriend.

Bee would purposefully make himself look stupid if Pico did anything of equal value, so he would never deal with anything alone. He would always come over to hang. Nene and Darnell.. They loved him like a brother. They laughed together, cried together, fought together.

They would have graduated together.

Probably even live together.

if not for...

Pico's thoughts were cut short by the abrupt sound of shattering glass. He shot up from the couch, grabbing his uzi off the table without a second thought. He pointed it toward the door of his bedroom, his blank eyes focusing on the open door.

He could see the silhouette of a woman.. It looked non human. Not the first time he dealt with monsters, however the aura of this one.. It was so intense, like he could suffocate in it.

He cocked his gun at the sound of creaking floor boards, watching the purple demon slowly reveal herself. He damn there had a heart attack.

"You.."

As if they could read each other's minds, they both spoke, but he could feel the malice in her stare alone. "You.. You're.. " He was flabbergasted, taking a couple steps back, though his leg hit his broken coffee table. Girlfriend began to advance, clenching her clawed fingers into fists. "You son of a bitch." Her voice was low, almost in a whisper. "You fucking knew him!!"Her voice came around quickly, bouncing against the thin walls in projection.

"Look I.." Pico began to speak, but lost his words. He did know him. He knew him so well. "I.. I know." He breathed out, slowly lowering his uzi. He looked away, but quickly looked back as he heard her boom with laughter. "I'm sure you know why I'm here then?" She smiled a little. She had teeth that could easily tear flesh apart, and he was sure that's what she wanted to do to him.

"Listen, I'on wanna fight you, jus-'"

"Too fucking bad!" Girlfriend spared not another moment talking if it meant she could have the head of her Boyfriend's killer. She rushed at him with a speed he hadn't seen in a while. Pico quickly kicked out the leg of his coffee table, causing it to topple over, and giving him an easier way to jump over to get behind it.

He could try talking to her, but he was sure she wouldn't stop until she's claimed his life. The gun was knocked from his hand in a blur, and he felt a pain against his chest. She scratched him. He grit his teeth and made more space between them, but the apartment was only so big. "So you can murder but you won't fight, huh??" Her growl assaulted his ears, and he tried his best to pin point her. She came up on his right, lunging at him full force. He grabbed both of her wrists, his back pressing against the rotting wall behind him. She snarled and bit at the air, as if trying to bite his nose off, but he managed to push her off, kicking her in the leg. She buckled from the force, and he slipped out from under her.

Fine, she won't stop. He'll just make this easier for himself. He slid back over to the coffee table, snagging his gun and hopping back up in one swift movement, making a dash for the bedroom. He doesn't do well in small spaces, so he'd just make more room. He dove feet first out of the window, almost not catching the loud thumping of Girlfriend chasing him.

he made sure to grab the emergency ladder on the side of the building to lessen his impact, rolling and stumbling into the dirt. It was only three stories, he's jumped from higher. She launched herself out the window after him. She damn there flew. "Shit.." He took a moment to breath. he couldn't call Nene or Darnell, his phone was inside.

He ran through the trees behind the complex, using the darkness to mask his presence as he usually would for a hit. "Oh Pico! Why delay the inevitable?" She rolled into the dirt under the trees herself, ignoring the ache from such a hard fall. Pico hid behind one of the trees as she scanned the area, then hopped out and fired a shot into her leg, specifically her calf.

She roared out in pain, gripping her dirtied dress with one hand, but she continued fairly well, using her less dominant leg to move in the direction it came from. Pico held his breath, quickly shifting around the trees. She was so sensitive to the sounds, the rustle of leaves, ruffle of sweatpants. before she knew it she was shot again. her other leg. they buckled under her weight, but she refused to fall. Pico ran at her from behind, using this opportune moment to subdue her, but without warning, she turned and grabbed him by the neck.

She moved him so he was in front of her, and slammed him into the dirt below him. "Figured you would be sharper than that.." He choked against her strong hold, gasping desperately for the air she deprived from him. She squeezed so hard he was convinced his neck was about to snap. Without another option, he fired two shots in her stomach, which made her gasp and let go.

She scooted off to the side, clutching a hand to the wound, black ooze pouring out of the holes. Pico took this moment to regain his breath, rubbing a hand along his already bruising neck. He coughed and sputtered, and she did the same. "I...I'm sorry.." His voiced rasped through their moment of silence. She could only let out a growl in response. "Sorry won't bring him back." She scoffed, beginning to move again, crawling back over to Pico. She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and punched him right in the jaw. he deserved that.

She punched him again. He deserved that. Again. he deserved that too.

the taste of iron flooded his mouth. "You fucking.." He felt wetness against his shirt. He couldn't tell if it was from her tears or his. She dropped him back on the ground. He could only let out shallow, uneven breaths when she collapsed against his chest, beginning to sob quietly.

He allowed her to. He even let some tears of his own fall.

She wanted to kill him, consume his soul, damn him to Hell for eternity. She couldn't. All she could do was cry. It wouldn't bring him back. Nothing could bring him back.

#fnf #friday night funkin #fnf bf #fnf gf #fnf Pico

[sinceileftyoublog]

Tyler, The Creator Album Review: Call Me If You Get Lost

(Columbia)

BY JORDAN MAINZER

The transformation of Tyler, The Creator from skilled, but transgressive shock jock to soulful, sincere auteur was one of the more remarkable music storylines of the 2010s. Flower Boy and IGOR showed a side of the rapper that you knew was always there but which he was perhaps hesitant to show, the sensitive, heartsick person who really just wants to love and be loved. His latest studio album, Call Me If You Get Lost, continues on the path of the previous two, but it’s also the most wholly self-aware album Tyler’s made to date. On a record that acts as an homage to other early 2000s DJ Drama-hosted mixtapes that influenced him just as much as N.E.R.D. and Eminem did, Tyler’s honest about his past self and his relationship with music, others, and his surroundings. He addresses some of his past ills. The character he inhabits, Tyler Baudelaire, a reference to French poet Charles Baudelaire, is sophisticated and worldly like its inspiration but can’t seem to find himself in a good relationship; Tyler has Tweeted it’s his most personal album yet, suggesting Tyler Baudelaire is not even really a character.

Whether he’s flowing in his trademark baritone or pitch-shifting to the higher end of the vocal spectrum, bragging about his wealth or vulnerably revealing an unrequited crush, Tyler’s being himself. You’ve heard this version before, and he goes back and forth throughout especially the first half of Call Me, sharing anecdotes about his social life on upbeat piano bounce “CORSO” and flashing his bravado on the warped trap of “LEMONHEAD”. On the Gravediggaz-sampling “LUMBERJACK”, he’s proud of his success: “Rolls-Royce pull up, Black boy hop out,” he raps, before expertly ad-libbing the white establishment reaction of “Man, what the fuck?” It’s that quintessential Tyler sense of humor, again without the cringe of some of his earliest material.

By the middle of the album, though, Tyler dips his toes into reflective confessionals. “MASSA” details various aspects of his life, from his early breakthroughs to “Yonkers” dropping while his mother was in a shelter to having the financial ability to get her out. The song’s title--another word for “master,” as in “slave master”--is provocative, but Tyler likens the subject to a different struggle, being free with sexuality. “Everyone I ever loved had to be loved in the shadows,” he raps. His delivery grows increasingly intense in the final verse, as he’s simultaneously mad at and affected by his doubters. On the flipside, money spending anthem “RUNITUP” looks back on the “social outcast” status that preceded the initial forming of Odd Future, wherein his confidence and originality allowed him to stay true and get where he is. It’s a risky one-two punch, since Tyler was known to use homophobic lyrics, but he’s taking the good parts of his previous selves and combining it with his current perspective. “MANIFESTO”’s where he fully dives into his controversies, from protesters outside his shows to the gross things he said to Selena Gomez on Twitter, admitting it was “back when I was tryna fuck Bieber,” Gomez’s partner at the time. Funny enough, on the same song he points out the hypocrisy of social media addicts who were criticizing him and other rappers for not explicitly saying “Black Lives Matter” on Twitter during the George Floyd protests despite him showing up at protests and donating money. His message? He’s changed, and perhaps grown, and is still growing and learning, but it’s all the same person. It’s what you get with Tyler.

Eventually, after lovers rock-sampling R&B love jams (“SWEET/I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE”), family pride not-quite-diss tracks (“MOMMA TALK”, “RISE”), and a radio ready banger (the Lil Uzi Vert and Pharrell Williams-featuring mammoth “JUGGERNAUT”), there’s the album’s 8-minute climax “WILSHIRE”, a slow-rolling story of the relationship hinted at throughout Call Me. Significantly, it sees Tyler once again pondering the idea of the public eye. At first, he details the high of showing the good life to someone he’s infatuated with, imagery chock full of luxury and warmth (“Dirtyin’ my bakin’ pots, tennis at my mama’s spot”; “Parks playin’ chess games, givin’ wigs pet names”). It’s not entirely clear why the relationship ends, but Tyler eventually admits, “I’m mad private with this side of my life ‘cause people are weirdos / I just try to keep anyone I care about in the shadows.” It’s the ultimate full-circle from the line on “MASSA”, a brilliant illustration of a society that brings you back to the subdued gloom for one reason or another. Unflinchingly honest, Tyler wants you to call him if you get lost, mostly because lost is where he’s already found himself.

#tyler the creator #album review #call me if you get lost #columbia #columbia records #flower boy #igor #dj drama #n.e.r.d. #eminem #tyler baudelaire #charles baudelaire #gravediggaz #odd future #selena gomez #twitter #justin bieber #black lives matter #george floyd #lil uzi vert #pharrell williams

[reddeaddamnation]

Could you write something with Leon where him and reader were together (but broke up due to something or another) and like while on a mission Leon and Helena run into her and Helena notices that they still obviously have feelings for each other so she tries to get them back together? I love your blog and writing so much! ^^

I allowed myself to add the reason why they broke up to make the fic more interesting :) Enjoy!

“Oh, hell no“ Leon thought to himself, as panic and memories long since passed flooded his mind and seeped into his very soul “Helena, we’re going back.“ he said outloud to his partner, not even waiting for an answer before turning on his heel and storming away in the opposite direction, leaving Helena baffled, confused and following him, asking countless of questions. “Leon! Leon, wait! What the hell!? We have a mission to do!“ Sure, this was a mission like any other they were sent on, but the very person they came across in the filthy sewer they were crawling in made Leon instantly regret what he was doing and where he was at the moment. The person in question was his ex lover agent [Y/N] [L/N]. 

“She can handle it herself!“ Leon cut off Helena harshly, not halting in his movements even for a moment to wait for her “Obviously there is a very competent agent here on the job already.“ he mocked. [Y/N] saw them as well and an angry grimace formed on her face, yet she didn’t say anything to indicate she noticed or wanted their presence around her. Because even though she was completely alone in a freezing cold, reeking, dark and wretched sewer full of mutants, she would still prefer their company rather than her ex and what looked like his new girlfriend. What was the problem after all? She lit a small campfire to keep warm while she arranged and readied her weapons and armor. She was relatively away from danger and even if she was found, the enemy would quickly receive a bullet to the head without second thought.

“Leon, please!“ Helena pleaded, jogging up to him and grabbing him by the arm to tug him back to a stop “What’s the problem? That woman can only be a help in this place! You know what we’re up against here and we need all the help we can get.“ She reasoned, but Leon paced nervously around in a small circle, having a hard time keeping himself in one place and wondering what to do with himself now. “Helena,“ he started in a hushed tone “If you knew what I’ve been through, you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her too.“ At that, Helena rolled her eyes “Please, tell me then.“ she crossed her arms over her chest, eyebrow raised expectantly and voice full of mockery and impatience.

“That there is my ex.“ Leon started after a long sigh. He avoided Helena’s gaze “She... Let’s say we didn’t get along well.“ A long pause followed. “And why was that?“ Helena urged. “We were always fighting. Mainly because of... other people. She was just way too possessive. Always asking me where I was, who I was with and with time it only got worse. As ironic as it seemed, these missions were like a pass time where I can relax, because when I got home I knew there was going to be a fight. In the end she even cheated on me.“ Helena listened to his story, but found it suspicious that he wasn’t looking at her when he talked, or more likely stuttered and was very obviously hiding something. She knew she had to hear the other side of the story before taking sides. “Are you over it?“ she finally asked. “Well, yeah.“ Leon shrugged “It was awhile back.“ 

Then, she grabbed his forearm and angrily started dragging him back, deeper into the sewer towards [Y/N]. “Okay, then you don’t mind doing this mission with her one time.” she retorted in a way that didn’t allow any objections. “Helena, for fuck’s sake!” he still protested, but the woman didn’t pay him any mind. When they reached the makeshift camp, [Y/N] looked at them with a raised eyebrow. “Agent Kennedy.” she greeted formally, not acknowledging the other woman and looked back down at her pistol. Leon grumbled some sort of greeting as well. “Agent Helena Harper.” Helena introduced herself “I suppose you’re here for the same purpose we are?” [Y/N] looked at her with an amused expression “No, you’re mistaken. I simply enjoy crawling in human waste and infected water. It’s good for the complexion.” she mocked harshly, but Helena didn’t take it too seriously.

“Well...“ she cleared her throat after another long pause “Let’s...let’s find this thing and get rid of it faster.” The other woman didn’t answer this time. Only looked at the pair indifferently and started walking, not even waiting for them. “You see what a nightmare she can be?“ Leon hissed at Helena, before following [Y/N] deeper into the dark sewer. Helena didn’t reply. 

The three walked in silence for a good amount of time, [Y/N] leading them by several steps. At some point, they came across a band of five infected humans. [Y/N] and Leon were quick to dispose of them, mainly due to the fact that they were basically competing against each other. Every shot Leon sent at one of them, [Y/N] followed, killing the zombie instead of him. Helena still didn’t leave the look they gave each other unnoticed. Like there was a longing, a nostalgia, so many words left unsaid, which will forever stay unsaid, because of pride. They missed each other’s presence, embrace, company...

“I’ll scout ahead in case there are more.“ Helena said, more as an excuse to leave the two alone and hope for the best “I’ll warn you if I find anything.“ As Helena started walking, Leon shouted after her to be careful. [Y/N] leaned against the wall, far away enough from him, crossing her arms and legs and gazed at the ground. “So...“ she spoke after a long silence “I see you moved on. I’m glad for you. She’s...pretty.“ She shifted her eyes away from the floor and looked into the distance, in the dark tunnel. “It’s not what you think.“ Leon answered quietly. “Oh? That was what you said about...“ [Y/N] noted with a smirk, but Leon cut her off harshly, immediately knowing who she was talking about “I don’t have to answer to you anymore.“

The woman glared at him furiously and Leon cleared his throat awkwardly. “So... uh... What about Chris? Haven’t seen him in awhile.” he spoke in an even more awkward friendly tone, shifting in his place. She shrugged “Fine. Far as I know, he got sent to Argentina a couple weeks ago.” The two stood in silence, basking in the bad memories. Only now they realized how toxic their relationship had become after Leon made the mistake of ruining it. How can you fight fire with fire? How can you fix something that was broken by breaking it more? 

“You loved her didn’t you?“ she asked in a hushed tone. Leon was quiet for a moment, merely watching her and biting his lip. He was just about to answer when the silence was suddenly broken by a sharp call of Leon’s name. The two turned their heads immediately and ran in direction of the voice, which sounded like Helena. They followed the calls for help, until they reached a large open space and when they saw the creature before them, [Y/N] clenched her belly, on the brink of throwing up. It was what looked like a gigantic mass of long, slimy tentacles, one sickly yellow eye, which stared at them menacingly and sharp horn-like outgrowths littering its body. Helena was desperately shooting it and was obviously panicking, but when she saw backup arrive, her movements became more confident. This monster was what they came for.

Without wasting time, Leon and [Y/N] jumped into the battle, shooting every bullet they had into the slimy body, but their efforts were left fruitless. “The eye! Shoot the eye!” [Y/N] yelled at Leon, who as soon as he heard her, shot a bullet right in the middle of the eye. The creature wailed and rolled back. Out of the eye, a snake like growth popped out and they recognized it as the virus that was growing inside it. Without thinking, [Y/N] jumped on the body, pulling out her combat knife and went straight to cut it off. The plan would have worked if only one of the countless tentacles didn’t swat her away roughly. “[Y/N]!” Leon yelled and jumped forward to catch her before she hit the ground.

She fell into his arms and the two shared a look, which had no place in such a situation. Adoration, love, longing... “Leon!” Helena cut them off just in time before another tentacle lashed out and slammed into the ground where they were standing, but Leon dodged in the last moment. He set [Y/N] down, but not without scolding her “Don’t do something that reckless again.” She laughed sharply “What do you care?” she asked, jumping out of the way of another tentacle. “You scared me.” Leon answered, shocking her with his words and making her freeze in her place. He shot the next tentacle that lunged at her and it retracted back with another wail from the monster.

“What do you say?“ Leon asked with a smirk “How about we work together again? One last time?“ [Y/N] smirked back and scoffed “If the situation asks it.“ Again, Leon shot the eye, but this time, [Y/N] kept her distance and as soon as the infection appeared again, she discarded her handgun and filled the creature with bullets from her Uzi. Leon and Helena did the same. [Y/N] was too distracted by her current objective and didn’t notice when one of the horns was ejected from the body and only realized it when it pierced her thigh. With a shriek, she dropped her gun and fell on her knee, grabbing a hold of the bone-like structure, attempting to pull it out. The sight and the pain made her almost faint. Dark spots played in front of her vision and her breathing became erratic. 

“[Y/N], hang in there!“ Leon kneeled beside her, holding her from falling “Please...“ he cradled her head close to his chest “Everything’s gonna be alright, [Y/N[, I promise, just don’t give up. I love you, [Y/N]...“ Her hand came up to grip his shirt and her weak voice caught his attention “Leon...you idiot.“ Her other hand reached for the Uzi and before he knew it, she aimed it with a shaky hand and emptied the gun right at the snake looking creature. The last thing she saw was that half of its body was severed and the larger mutant fell back dead with a wail. That was when she lost consciousness. 

Twelve hours later

“I’ll leave you two alone.“ A female voice woke her up and she immediately recognized it as Helena’s. “Thanks, Helena.“ Leon... After that, a door opened and closed gently. Slowly, [Y/N] opened her eyes and focused her blurry vision on Leon, sitting on a chair next to where she was laying. Her surroundings indicated she was in a hospital. “Oh, good. You’re finally awake.“ Leon murmured, watching her worriedly ”I was starting to get worried.“ Even in such a situation, a small smirk stretched across his lips, but nonetheless the happiness in his eyes was eminent.

“Leon...“ with a sleepy voice, she spoke slowly, attempting to sit up. Her leg protested though and she found herself laying back down with a small cry. Removing the covers, she saw that her thigh was bandaged and a red stain had formed where the wound was. “The doctor said you were going to be fine. You just need to rest.“ Leon explained, reaching for her hand. Her next question stopped his every movement. “Did you mean what you said back at the sewer?“ she asked. Leon didn’t even blink. “Well... of course I did.“ he scoffed awkwardly “You looked like you were dying. Of course I was gonna get worried.“ 

[Y/N] groaned, annoyed by his playing dumb attitude. “You’re impossible!” she tried to make her voice louder, but the effort only made her throat sore “Did you mean it? that you still love me?” The long awkward silence made her anxious. She was sure that if he didn’t answer, he was going to say no. “Honestly?” he stared at the ground and scoffed slightly “I never stopped.” [Y/N] stared at him indifferently, yet all the emotions she kept a secret within herself were aching to come out “If you ever did, why did you have to cheat on me with Ada?” she asked. “I never wanted it. After she found out I was with you, she was keen on ruining my life. Even went as far as to blackmail me into sleeping with her so she doesn’t blow your brains out. She sent me photos where she was stalking you, pointing weapons at you. She was stalking you.”

[Y/N] listened, shocked. “I swear I didn’t want to... But she was gonna kill you. I thought it was gonna be over with but then she started sending you pictures of me after...after you know... And when you read all the messages she sent me, I tried to explain but you ran off to sleep with Chris before I even said anything.” Now she realized what a fool she was. If her emotions didn’t take her over in that moment, they never would have broken up. They could have figured something out and solved the problem together. Sure, they stayed together several weeks after the incident, but she remembered making his life a living hell during those weeks and she didn’t even know he was going through so much already... “Leon...I’m...sorry... I know it might not change anything but I’m sorry...”

Leon sighed heavily and looked at her finally. “I’m sorry too. If you’re willing...I mean if you still feel the same...” [Y/N] cut him off then “I love you, too, Leon. I’d like to get back together...”

[rapeculturerealities]

It is difficult to overstate the visceral impact—and rarity—of seeing a black man, one as statuesque and imposing as Crews, step forward to identify himself as a survivor of sexual assault and reject external demands that he bury his shame. Crews has spoken at length about the tenacity of shame, the way it embeds itself more deeply in survivors’ psyches with each dismissal of their accounts. He has acknowledged that his race and size render his story unbelievable to some, that those same factors kept him from responding to his alleged assailant with violence for fear of being stereotyped as a ��thug”—or facing violence at the hands of police.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, in the days since Crews shared his Senate testimony, a number of his peers have taken to the internet to discredit his experiences—and his manhood. Most notably, rapper and actor 50 Cent (née Curtis Jackson) posted (and then deleted) a bizarre meme featuring Crews shirtless, with the words I got raped / My wife just watched superimposed onto the image, as well as another photo of Crews with a rose in his mouth, with the words Gym timeinexplicably in the top right corner. The photos also included a strange, tone-deaf caption in which 50 Cent suggested he would have responded to a similar situation with gun violence rather than the trepidation Crews recounted: “👀LOL,What the fuck is going on out here man? Terry: I froze in fear,😆they would have had to take me to jail. 🤨get the strap.” Both in the comments of 50 Cent’s post, and on Twitter, men insisted they could never stand silent or motionless in the face of another man’s unwanted provocations. Some, like Russell Simmons, who has been accused of rape or sexual assault by more than a dozen women, responded to Jackson’s post with all the concern of a laughing emoji.

Jackson, and the many others who mocked Crews, communicated their allegiance to an idealized masculinity that they imagine as impervious to assault. (Jackson has since insisted his post was a joke, but even so, its purported humor would only stem from the “surprise” of a strong man’s victimhood.) Crews imparting his experience of assault placed him squarely outside that moving goal post, rendering him “weak” and “emasculated” in the eyes of people—most often men—who refuse to untether masculinity from displays of Herculean strength or aggression. For his part, Crews respondedfirst with love for 50 Cent’s music, then by saying he “proved that size doesn’t matter when it comes to sexual assault.” Friday morning, Crews tweeted a response to the misguided questions he’d received in the wake of sharing his story: “Why did you just let it happen? I didn’t. Why didn’t you beat him up? (Sigh),” the tweet ended.

There is a seductive allure to Jackson’s logic, the idea that only “weak” men “allow” themselves to be victimized. It is the same logic that animates victim-blaming rhetoric most often directed at women, but with an added valence of patriarchal posturing. When Jackson (or any other man) suggests that Crews only froze in fear when targeted by a predator because Crews is uniquely weak-willed, the detractor is insisting on his own imperviousness to harm. Because he is a man, he is strong. Because he is strong, he cannot be overpowered. But victimhood is not just the domain of the weak. Sexual violence does not select against “strong” people (and even if it did, Jackson’s comments would still be reprehensible).

Jackson is far from the first to mock Crews for speaking out. In a March interview with BuzzFeed News, Crews noted the controversy that now surrounds him in Hollywood: “I walk in the room, and the room is split right down the middle,” he said. “It just divides right there. It’s kind of like lightning.” While not everyone in the camp Crews identifies as unsupportive speaks of the actor in terms that are as vulgar as Jackson’s, their irritation with Crews’s accounts still functions to discredit both his stories and his masculinity.

The logic of male imperviousness also serves to distance Strong Men(™) from the “weaker” sex. If strength is a hallmark of masculinity, then Jackson’s insistence on his own immunity to harm is also a feverish attempt at denouncing femininity. It is common, when naming sexual assault as an issue that disproportionately affects women, to be met with a barrage of trolls lambasting female advocates for supposedly overlooking male survivors. And so often, the men who decry female advocates’ efforts do not support male survivors when the time comes to do so. The invocation of the male survivor is more often rooted in disdain for women’s organizing than it is in any real concern for the livelihood of the boys and men who must contend with the effects of sexual violence on their lives.

In the days since Crews’ testimony, the silence from other men—men whom Crews has explicitly said he hopes to comfort and embolden with his actions—has been deafening. Meanwhile, the men who mock Crews are participating in the theater of masculine performance to the detriment of their own—and other men’s—healing.

Crews’s testimony also comes in the same week that celebrities in the worlds that he and Jackson both inhabit have thrown their support behind a man whose life represented a far different model of (black) masculinity. Just hours after Crews spoke to the Senate Judiciary Committee, 23-year-old Philadelphia rapper Lil Uzi Vert tweeted his plans to establish a foundation for the family of the slain rapper XXXTentacion, whose list of alleged abuses included beating his pregnant ex-girlfriend so badly that she may still be in danger of losing vision in one eye. Uzi’s tweet also included a call for other celebrities to assist his endeavors; thus far, Nicki Minaj, Lil Yachty, and A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie have all pledged their support. XXXTentacion, who brought his fans tremendous comfort and his alleged victim deep pain during his short life, attracts sympathy from his peers with ease. To rally behind a “controversial” dead man, even one accused of heinous abuses, may be shocking to some, but it is hardly without precedent. To support Crews, however, a man forsaking the comfortable façade of patriarchal force for a revealing vulnerability, would be to admit complicity in valuing the masculine veneer.

In his testimony, Crews deftly noted that part of the appeal of the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights is the distance it gives victims from the immediate trauma they have faced. “It gives survivors the right to receive information, including access to police reports, rape-kit results, and access to sexual assault counselors,” he said. “And by requiring that rape kits and forensic DNA evidence be retained for the duration of the statute of limitations, this bill gives survivors the right to have time to distance themselves from the immediate trauma before making the difficult decision to report the assault to law enforcement.”

While law enforcement has an unfavorable track record with addressing (even perpetrating) sexual assault—and a worse one yet with treating black people as humans—the core of Crews’s concern still rings true. To acknowledge the fact that survivors deserve to process their traumas on their own terms is to recognize that sexual violence affects those who experience it differently. Crews’s process may not be the same as that of every person he testifies alongside, but his efforts add depth to the chorus. “I have to say, the silence is deafening when it comes to men talking about this issue,” he noted in his testimony. Amid that absence, Crews’s voice is as valuable as it is clear.

#Crews #victim blaming #50 cent #toxic masculinity #gender essentialism

[ask-boyfriends-jikook-blog]

Battle Royale: Kpop - Ch. 2 - 36 students remain

“This kid really left without me.” I said out loud, moving to a crouching position. I was trying to see if he was coming late but all I saw was the closed door of the school building, signalling that all the students had left and the game has started.

  “Okay, I’ll search for him but first I have to get set and ready.” I muttered, loading my Uzi with the provided bullets before ripping loose fabric from a hoodie in my personal bag, wrapping it around my waist to make a weapon holder of sorts. To my luck, it worked, the gun situating right inside the loop I made for an easy draw if it’s needed. Then I took out the map, scanning it.

  “Okay so if I go east I should end up at the clinic. But that’s if I travel through the whole night. If I go south for about two hours I could end up at the small houses and rest there until dawn.” I thought, deciding that sleeping in the house would be a better choice than trekking through the night on no sleep.

  With that in mind, I started my travel.

  I was about one hour into my travel when I heard it. The sound of a branch cracking quite close. The sound instantly had me rolling into a bush, turning off my flashlight and relying on my good night vision. Then I saw it.

  There was a boy no more than 30 steps away from me, standing stock still and looking around in fear. I drew my gun and stood up, pointing it at him. “Who are you and why are you following me?” I asked, making the boy cry out and drop to the ground.

  “P-Please don’t kill me! I’m trying to find my best friend and boyfriend a-and you are the only person I’ve seen. I know I should’ve asked right away to accompany you but I was hesitant because - no offense - you seem quite scary.” The boy whispered, his voice tiny and betraying his strong, wide build.

  I slowly lowered my gun, sliding it back into the slot I made before helping the boy up. “Sorry about the gun, but kid you really should learn not to sneak up on people. Especially in the situation we’re in. What’s your name anyway?” I asked, starting to walk and not protesting when the kid fell into step beside me.

  “I’m Jeon Jungkook. You’re In-Ha, right?” He asked, smiling as I nodded in response. “I’m looking for my boyfriend Yoongi and my best friend Kim Taehyung, have you seen them anywhere?” Jungkook wondered, stopping as I froze. “I’m also looking for Taehyung.” I said, pulling out my map and writing the three names down.

  “Aren’t you just a transfer student? How do you know him?” Jungkook asked and on the outside I appeared fine, but on the inside I was scrambling for an answer. So I decided to go the simplest route and use my cold voice.

  “I believe it is none of your business why I’m looking for him. I do, however, think you should be more grateful that I didn’t shoot you dead when I found you following me.” I said, not even looking at him as I resumed my pace. “In fact if you even try to cross me in the wrong way I know how to kill you.”

  Without even looking I could tell he was terrified. “H-How do you know how to do that? I mean, you are so small.” Jungkook said, eyes widening when I drew my gun and shot into the air, hitting a bird that was flying over us and sending it falling to the ground before tucking the gun back in. “Nevermind then...”

  “How I know this stuff is also none of your business. But if you must know some of it, I suppose you could say that I’ve been in a situation similar to this before. Now are we going to keep playing 20 questions, or am I allowed to go on my merry way?” I asked, raising an eyebrow when Jungkook sputtered. “What, did you REALLY think I’d let you come with me? Look, you seem nice enough but I can’t take the risk of you betraying me the minute I turn my back. If you couldn’t tell by the scars, I have turned my back one too many times.” I said, the last part making me grimace for a second.

  “Please let me come with you! I have no idea where to go, a shit weapon and….I’m really fucking scared okay? I’ll do anything.” He said, making me sigh and consider the options in front of me.

  “Fine. But you are coming with me so you follow my rules, got it kid?” I asked, nodding in approval when Jungkook agreed. “Good. Right now we are going to the residential houses for the night. We aren’t staying in the same one so you can take the one next to where I am. You don’t disturb me during the night unless you hear some shit going down. Also, don’t break into my house because I will kill you.”

  “Yes, that’s perfectly fine! You won’t even know I’m there I promise.” He said, making me roll my eyes with a small smile as we walked. “Uhm...Sorry if it seems like I’m intruding but I am really curious about this. So if you don’t mind answering, where did you get those scars from, In-ha?” I gave him a side-eye and cleared my throat. “Last year I was in this game. I was the only survivor but I took a beating. Got shot and cut up until the last one was dead. Trust me kid, if I knew back then what this game was, I would’ve jumped off a cliff and committed suicide the minute I left the school.” I explained, finally making it to the cottages and checking one out. “Come in, it’s still early so we can talk more.”

  Jungkook followed me in and sat on a chair as I took the bed. “You’d commit suicide? But….that’s so horrible to do!” He said, making me pull out a smoke and begin to talk. “I’m not going to try and justify that suicide is the best thing to do in this situation because in the end, it is all down to the person and their morals. To some kids it was the only option for them, not wanting to kill anyone because they found it too hard or wrong so, they took their own lives instead. We had about 3 kids who did that.” I said quietly, taking another drag.

“But on the other hand, I didn’t have a problem killing my classmates. I hated them all since they were a bunch of assholes. So why would I kill myself you ask?” I watched him nod in curiosity. “Taking my own life would’ve been better than what you endure after the game is over. Therapy, nightmares and reporters up in your face at every waking moment. The game changes you, kid. Trust me when I say that you have 2 options right now. You can either kill your classmates and deal with life afterwards- well, what life you’d still have - or, you can kill yourself - and/or get someone who doesn’t care to kill you. Personally, taking in everything I’ve seen, I’d suggest you do the second option. Jungkook you aren’t cut out for this game.” I said, throwing out the cigarette as he thought. “I-If...If I asked you to kill me, would you do it?” Jungkook whispered, not looking into my eyes. “Just tell Yoongi that I love him. He’s a short, grumpy boy with green hair.” He explained, kneeling on the floor and keeping his head down. I picked up my gun without a word, pressing it to Jungkook’s skull. “Jungkook I actually have to apologize to you before I do this. Remember how I said, we can stay together?” I asked, cocking the gun as he let out a small ‘’Yes.” “My purpose here is to protect Kim Taehyung and nobody else. So, sorry, but I had no intention of letting you live anyway.” I said, shooting him without hesitation. I watched with blank eyes as his head blasted open, blood and brain matter spraying everywhere. He fell to the side and landed face down as I put my gun back and gathered my stuff, heading out the door and to the clinic with a sadistic smile on my face.

  “I told you Jungkook, this game changes people.”

                                                   35 students remain

#bts #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook chapter #my writing #battle royale

[thesinglesjukebox]

MIGOS - T-SHIRT [7.12] It's 2017, so non-Drake rap artists are allowed to have follow-up hits now! Skrt skrt!

Jibril Yassin: Anyone that tells you Quavo is the only one that matters in Migos is wrong. End of. Thankfully, CULTURE has proven an effective Migos Separatist deterrent and "T-Shirt," one of its firing salvos, is great because you get to see just how fantastic Migos are now that they've dropped their namesake flow and have opted to just ride over what could be the best beat of 2017. Takeoff's stutter flows, Quavo's leaned-out background humming, Offset's melodic verse -- there are enough highlights to fill a list. If "Bad and Boujee" can be considered the first great Migos song, here's the second, no debate. [9]

Alfred Soto: Takeoff punches monosyllables like he's thumbing texts. Over a foundation of click track, piano line and organ, Migos interject barks, woos, hey, vocodered uhhs -- anything approximating spontaneity and improvisation and for all I know keeps them awake. [7]

Maxwell Cavaseno: The unfortunate aspect of "T-Shirt" is one of the biggest albatrosses of Migos: Quavo. Quavo is not the most adept rapper in the group (Takeoff) or the actual star (Offset) but he got to be the earliest standout in Migos rise. After being benched to allow space for Lil' Uzi on "Bad & Boujee," Takeoff getting a chance to frolic with Quavo's flow of the day and do his usual twists and turns is enthralling, as he finds a number of pockets to play with in the swamp mists of Nard & B's production. And who sounds more enticing than Offset's bizarre cryptid-like autotuned wails? However the focal point is the SAME BULLSHIT FAKE GUCCI MANE FLOW Quavo's been milking since fucking "Bando" that he uses when he isn't doing it in triplet, which really drags us down. I guess now that it's Migos Comeback season, we also get Quavo thinking he should rap like it's 2014 again. BAH. [6]

Thomas Inskeep: Back in the day, no one had coke raps better than Clipse; in 2017, Migos might well own that title. "T-Shirt" is simple and sharp: Nard & B and XL keep the track stripped-down (I love that heavy synth bass), and Takeoff, Quavo, and Offset's verses are each their own, easily distinguishable from each other's. Even though all three of them are riding the same beat, they manage to sound entirely individual. Not as ear-grabbing as "Bad and Boujee" maybe (though it's close), but still a standout single. [8]

Joshua Copperman: One of my favorite things anyone said about "24K Magic" last year (I don't remember who, though) was that Bruno Mars sounded like even he couldn't believe that he was getting away with "Uptown Funk" 2. I feel a similar way about Migos and this song - Migos are getting away with doing the same thing they always do but on a bigger budget, and they're clearly aware of how incredible it is that this silly underground rap trio has inadvertently taken over the world. When Quavo starts crooning "mama told yooooooouuuu", he sounds amused by the gloomy, likely expensive effects on his voice, and the enthusiastic adlibs sound even better against the glossy production. While I can't say I've always understood the massive popularity of Migos, "T-Shirt" is infectious enough that even I'm not entirely immune. [6]

Anthony Easton: The anxiety of late capital, with the baroque word play -- the slang and puns held against each other, the anxiety of figuring who has what, fractured into an angular and quite aggressive frame work. It's hostile in its angular beauty, and a deepening of a genre that has proven more fertile than it might have seemed at first glance. [7]

Rebecca A. Gowns: Hypnotic use of autotune and undulating tones. The lyrics are simple, and delivered staccato, but there's a sneaky cleverness underneath that makes you do a double-take. Haven't heard a better ode to a t-shirt in a long time. [7]

Adaora Ede: In 2017, the shiny and garish Migos of "Hannah Montana" and heck, remember "Versace"?, has 360ed into the cold and chic Migos (and Lil Uzi, Gucci Mane etc.) of Billboard topping hits. "T-Shirt" sounds like your mom's preferred version of Travis Scott: production team Nard & B do a precise job of turning the bass up and sloooooowing it down. The Migo Boys slither across the slowed down trap- Takeoff is matter of factly with his verses as if to atone for his absence on "Bad and Boujee", Quavo gives us triple threat, cooing, hypemanning, lackadaisical spitting, Offset ties up with one melodic verse that parallels the cadence of "Antidote". Given that braggadocious odes to the struggles of social mobility has to be my favorite subset of rap music right now, I think I've finally accepted Culture era Migos. I mean how can you not? Quavo's hook reads like a mantra, every (MAMA) word (TOLD) emphasized (ME) by (NOT) the (TO) syllable (SELL) and (WORK) just meant to be ingrained in your mind. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#Migos #T-Shirt #TSJ Best of 2017

[fnf-brain-rot]

⚠NSFW WARNING⚠

Boyfriend couldn't believe who was standing in front of him..

Pico? His ex from school?

He hasn't seen this guy in literal years, and he's changed so much. Got a couple ear piercings, built himself up, and honestly, he'd be lying if he said he didn't still think he was hot.

Boyfriend clutched the microphone in his hand, a dark blush beginning to spread upon his pale face. "Bee, you okay?" Girlfriend asked him from atop the speakers. She noticed his expression, then turned to look as Pico made his way from the shadows. He had his uzi in his hand, which was rested on his shoulder, and his other hand on his hip. He wasn't playing around, and they could tell by the smirk that grazed his lips. "This should be fun." He hummed, mostly to himself, continuing to approach the two.

"P... P-Pico?! What are you doing here?!" Boyfriend exclaimed, a look of distress and confusion on his flustered face. "You know him?" Girlfriend asked. Pico simply stood on the other side of the speakers, waiting for Boyfriend to answer her. "Y-Yeah we... We used to.. to date.." Bf uttered, attempting to cover his mouth with a shaky hand. It wasn't even like they planned to split up. So much shit was going on in that town that caused Boyfriend's parents to pack it up and move, ultimately splitting them apart. They didn't have phones either so they couldn't really stay in contact. They were young. "Ohh, well hello Pico! I'm uh.. Just call me Gigi." She smiled nervously, which made Pico chuckle. "Whatever you say, Doll." His voice made Boyfriend shudder. It was so deep and husky, it made him melt. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, he just wasn't ready for this kind of reunion!

"Hate to break it to ya, but your pops sent me to kill.. you." Pico walked up to Boyfriend, breaking the shorter male out of his daze and making him stumble backwards, his eyes wide and filled with a sudden fear. "Hey wait-!"

"And if I had enough sense I would blow your brains out easy for a good 1400 bucks." Pico pushed the nozzle of the gun against Boyfriend's jawline, to which he began to tremble. "But, since I like you, I'll give you another option." Pico pulled the gun away, then turned to look at Girlfriend, who held her hand up to her mouth in shock. "Battle me. Right here. Right now." He demanded.

"B-Battle you? Like a rap battle?" Boyfriend sheepishly spoke up, still a little shaken up from being threatened with his fucking gun. "Duh dumbass, what else? I just said I would spare you didn't I? Or you want me to take it back?" Pico aimed his uzi at Boyfriend, who put his hands up. "I'll take the rap battle!! Jeez!" He went and stood by the speakers, the blush on his face never dying down, and Pico nodded, his cocky smirk never leaving his lips.

"Got your music?"

"Of course, Doll." Pico handed her the tape. He really was planning on simply battling from the start. Girlfriend couldn't help but giggle a little. For a mercenary he had quite the soft spot for Boyfriend. She was glad. She slipped the tape into the player, allowing Boyfriend a moment to at least try to compose himself.

Once the music started, Pico was off to a strong start, his voice sounding somewhat rough and gritty through the speakers. Boyfriend was quick to match, even managing to keep up in his flustered state. Girlfriend liked how they sounded together, their styles and voices complimented each other really well, especially in the middle part of the first song, where Pico began to approach Boyfriend to catch him off guard. He smirked as Boyfriend fumbled with some words, but still managed to keep his stance even with Pico dragging the nozzle of his gun up his neck.

Three songs of intense sexual tension, teasing, and memories, Boyfriend came out on top, panting softly as the hand holding the mic dropped to his side. Pico was just as tired, slouched over a bit, his hands on his knees, though he stared straight at Boyfriend. Girlfriend kicked her legs giddily, hopping off the speakers and standing between the two. "I think it's clear who won here." She grinned, looking to Boyfriend, who held up his peace sign as a sign of victory. "Tch.." Pico grunted, but didn't think much of it.

Girlfriend went over and hugged Boyfriend, who cried out a cute "beep!" in embarrassment. When she got off, she turned to Pico. "Your songs were so good Pico!" She then exclaimed. Pico was about to respond when she looked at her phone, then cursed under her breath. "Sorry guys, daddy is waiting for me, I gotta go." She turned around and smooched Boyfriend on the cheek, who blanked for a second, but came to when he saw the look Pico was giving him. "See you around Pico!" She ran off in the opposite direction of the train tracks, and just like that, those two were left alone.

Oh hell no.

Once they had finally caught their breaths, Pico made his way over to Boyfriend, who almost freaked out and began to run away again, but Pico caught him by the hip, lifting his chin and smashing their lips together in a heated kiss. Boyfriend didn't know how to respond, he was absolutely freaking out right about now, setting one of his hands on Pico's that was on his hip, and the other on the taller's chest. He slowly began to kiss back, even feeling Pico nip the bottom of his lip before pulling away.

Drool ran down Boyfriend's jaw, as he was put in another daze, letting out a dumb, airy giggle, but he shook his head. "That's for her kissing you in front of me." Pico hummed, furrowing his brows. The blue haired boy laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, but then looked up to Pico seriously. "Hey.. I.. I missed you.." He told him softly. Pico was silent at first, then chuckled. "Even after I threatened to kill you?" He questioned. "That doesn't matter!" Boyfriend quickly wrapped his arms around Pico, who was a little surprised by the genuine gesture. "I.. I love you Pico.." Boyfriend closed his eyes, pressing his face into his chest. Pico looked down at him a moment longer before finally wrapping his arms around him in return. "I love you too, Bee." He hummed in response. "In fact, I love you so much, I'm bringing you back to my house."

"Wait what?!"

___________________________________________

Pico's house was cozy one bedroom one bath studio apartment. It smelled of cigarettes and carpet. It actually looked nice on the inside though. Boyfriend took his shoes off at the door, Pico placing his uzi on his hip. "Make yourself at home, I'll make.. What coffee or tea?"

"Tea, you drink coffee in the afternoon?" Boyfriend called back, to which Pico scoffed audibly from the kitchen and responded with, "You don't?"

Boyfriend laughed and made his way into the living room, plopping himself onto the couch. He actually was comfortable. Then his face began to go red as his mind wandered. He was at Pico's house. Was Pico gonna do anything to him? Pico soon came back into the living room and sat down beside Boyfriend, who thankfully knew how to work the tv due to having the same cable company as Pico. "So why'd you invite me over?" Boyfriend asked, turning to him. Pico rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious?"

"To catch up?"

"Thanks for catching on." Pico teased him, which only made Boyfriend whine at him.

"How.. How have you been?"

Pico looked at the floor, thinking about what he should tell him, or if he should really tell him all that much. "If I'm being honest? Life hasn't been so nice to me." Boyfriend expected that much. "But.. you could say I have some things going on." Boyfriend couldn't help but smile, but then frowned at a thought. "I heard about what happened." He started. Pico didn't look at him. "Are you doing okay?" Boyfriend set the remote down and cupped Pico's cheeks to have him look at him. ".. Yeah.. I'm working through it." Pico admitted. Boyfriend placed a gentle kiss on the ginger's forehead, who's face began to turn a shade of red. He wasn't exactly touched starved, however after all these years, no one could live up to his expectations like Boyfriend.

Soon the tea pot went off, and Boyfriend let Pico go make the tea.

When he came back, Boyfriend seemed lost in thought, not even looking at the tv. He set the cups on the coffee table, and plopped back down next the smaller. "Well?" Pico spoke up after a moment of silence. Boyfriend snapped out of his trance to look at him. "What about you dumbass?" Pico flicked the blue haired boy's forehead like earlier, making him whine out in pain. "I feel like it's obvious." He pouted. "In a way, I'm trying to make a name for myself in the music industry. How else to do it by competing against famous singers for the ex rock star 'Daddy Dearest's daughter?" Boyfriend hummed thoughtfully. "And it's actually going pretty well."

Pico hummed at the mention of that weirdo family. "Yeah? Well I'm proud of you." He gently reached over and squeezed Boyfriend's hand, who blushed heavily at how strong he was.

With the same hand, Pico pulled the blue haired boy into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist. "You and that Doll.. Together?" Pico then mumbled into Boyfriend's chest, who laughed and shook his head. "No hun, we're just close friends. We agreed this wouldn't mean anything unless we wanted to try it out." He told Pico, who grumbled after he finished. "Why? Are you jealous?"

"No! Why the hell would I be jealous asshole!"

"NO PLEASE-!"

Boyfriend went into a fit of laughter as Pico began to tickle his sides, attempting to throw himself off his lap but he managed to keep him in one spot. Boyfriend cried for mercy, and only after admitting that Pico was, "The most not jealous person of anything in the world, " He was let go. It took a while. Boyfriend panted heavily against Pico, holding his hands up when Pico tried to hug him out of paranoia that he would tickle him again.

___________________________________________

The two do some catching up and drink their lukewarm tea, laughing together, sympathizing, sharing about new people they've met.

"Hey baby?"

"Yeah hun?"

".. I turned you on earlier didn't I?"

Boyfriend was taken aback by Pico's random question, though his face began to go red. "U-Uh.. I.. Wh-When?" He stammered, causing Pico to snicker. He pushed Boyfriend down onto the couch, pinning his arms down by the wrists. "You know when, near the tracks." Pico grunted at him playing dumb.

Boyfriend would admit, he got a good rush of adrenaline when Pico pulled that gun out on him. Something about that whole ordeal really turned him on, and it was coming back to haunt him again.

"So I was right?" Pico smirked, feeling the other's bulge begin to form in his pants. "U.. U-Uh.." Boyfriend turned away, but was taken aback when Pico crashed their lips together in a surprisingly loving kiss. Boyfriend couldn't help but moan softly into the kiss. Pico was moving much slower than he would have expected him to.

The ginger began to move one of his hands down Boyfriend's sides, shifting it to the front in order to rub the growing bulge in circles. "A-Ah..! P-Pico.." Boyfriend breathed out his name, which made Pico wanna tear off his clothes and fuck him senseless, but Boyfriend quickly spoke up. "Pico.. Could you.. C-Could you be gentle? It's my first time.." Boyfriend questioned him softly. Pico nodded, kissing his jaw line lovingly. He moved downwards before completely sitting up, cracking his knuckles. He's been out of the game himself for a minute.

Pulling Boyfriend's pants down, he started to slowly stroke the smaller's length, which made him gasp and breathe a little heavier. He bucked his hips into Pico's hand, biting his own knuckle in order to not lose all his control at the moment. Pico then went down and helped Boyfriend take off his shirt, leaving gentle kisses and love bites along his chest and shoulders, each one making the other shudder and whimper at the feeling. Boyfriend soon began to glide his hands up Pico's shirt, feeling against the scars and muscles unknowingly at first. "W-Wait.. P-Pico I-I'm-" Pico stopped as soon as he heard him, Boyfriend being left a panting, blushing mess below him.

Pico's own pants were getting uncomfortably tight, so he began to unbutton them, pulling them down enough to where his underwear showed. "Here." Pico gave Boyfriend his fingers to suck on, to which Boyfriend obliged, taking them into his mouth. He didn't mind if he tasted himself, wouldn't be the first time. He made sure to get as much saliva on his  fingers as possible, before Pico pulled away. "Good boy.." He purred, then lifted one of Boyfriend's legs up. The smaller squeaked out a "beep!" as he was exposed, Pico chuckling at his cuteness. He pushed a finger into him, which made him squirm in discomfort at first, but eventually, as Pico thrust in and out, he began to relax. They repeated this process a few more times, pushing in, getting comfortable, and Boyfriend was starting to only get louder.

He wiggled his hips against Pico's hand, bouncing up and down on his back. He liked how it felt. It was weird, but it felt really good. "You like that baby?" Pico called to him, only getting moans and hip bucks in response. He stretched him one more time before pulling his fingers out. "I'm gonna go in okay?" Pico told Boyfriend, who nodded, still hiding his face in his hands. Pico chuckled and moved them, kissing his face to show him he didn't have to hide. He pulled down his underwear, allowing his erection to hit the cold air, which made him groan lightly. "Alright, I'm going in." Pico warned. Boyfriend nodded once more. Pico then slowly began to push the tip into Boyfriend's entrance. The smaller male inhaled sharply, arching his back and stifling a cry of pain. His legs trembled, and he gripped onto the couch below him.

Pico groaned at the tight squeeze, and only began to inch forward slowly, allowing Boyfriend to adjust to each half inch as they went along. Eventually Pico pushed in until he couldn't anymore, biting his lip and squeezing one of his eyes closed. He rubbed the small bump in Boyfriend's stomach, the male under him whining and squirming. It was all so new, it all felt so weird. He.. kind of liked it though.

Pico resisted the urge to buck his hips into him, waiting until have gave the signal he was ready. After a couple more minutes, Boyfriend gave him the green light. Pico pulled out slowly, then pushed in just as slow, starting off at a mediocre pace. "Hhaah..! Oh god... P-Pico..!" He moaned, heat rushing to his face in embarrassment from how loud he was already. "Feels good, huh kitten?" Pico grunted back in response, squeezing Boyfriend's leg tightly as he pushed it against the couch to go deeper. Boyfriend was a mess as Pico began to speed up, the bigger male leaning forward to get a better thrust into him. "Fuck, baby, I can barely move." He couldn't help but chuckle. Boyfriend arched his back, begging Pico to go faster, to which he obliged, thankful that he didn't make him go slow the whole time. Boyfriend's moans grew higher and louder, bouncing his hips against Pico's as he felt his cock twitch inside him. He was almost there. Pico was too.

Pico made sure to leave many visible bite marks along his neck and chest area, even putting dark bruises on Boyfriend's thighs. Boyfriend returned the favor by leaving a few in Pico's neck, and deep scratch marks on his back. The two finished together, and Boyfriend still tried to stifle a moan even as he was filled with Pico's seed. Pico pulled out, and lied there beside Boyfriend. They were both in a great mood. "How did you like it?" Pico breathed, massaging Boyfriend's hips, the smaller moaning once more in comfort. "It was... amazing..." He admitted. "I wanna do that again." He sheepishly added, making Pico chuckle, then plant a kiss on his jaw. Pico pulled his pants back up, then picked Boyfriend up off the bed, which made him gasp in surprise. "Let's wash up, then we can lay down, yeah?" Pico offered. Boyfriend nodded and leaned into his chest.

In the end, he's pretty glad he saw Pico today.

#pico #fnfboyfriend #friday night funkin

[soyoureviewhiphoptoo]

Soundtrack of the Week 01/09/2017

It is time for the Soundtrack of the Week, the SYRHHT blog segment where I discuss latest music releases and other projects that I listen to over the space of 7 days. So, here is the Soundtrack!

ALBUM

A$AP Mob- The Cozy Tapes Vol.2: Too Cozy Released: August 25, 2017 Label: ASAP Worldwide, Polo Grounds Music and RCA Records

Over the last few years, the A$AP Mob has grown to become one of biggest groups in hip hop today (And not just literally, with sixteen total members, fourteen of which are holding onto the A$AP name like a Call of Duty clan from 2011). Being at the forefront of both music and fashion in the hip-hop community, it is hard to deny the prevalence of the A$AP Mob in the game. Despite the unfortunate passing of the group’s leader, A$AP Yams, in 2015, The Mob continued to soldier on, with their headline stars A$AP Rocky and A$AP Ferg releasing their second studio albums in 2015 and 2016 respectively. The other members of The Mob would soon gain a spotlight, as the New York conglomerate would go on to release their first studio album as a group, The Cozy Tapes Vol. 1: Friends. This album was one of my favourite albums released last year and I was ecstatic to hear that The Mob was going to release its sequel. As a part of “Awgest”, A$AP Mob scheduled the release of three projects, with The Cozy Tapes Vol. 2 Too Cozy, being the very last project released. 

Now…imagine my dismay when I waited throughout the month of Awgest to be disappointed.

On this album, A$AP Mob utilised a trap sound for production and lyrical flows. As they did this on Vol. 1, you would think it would not cause a big problem but the issue arises with the way they use the trap style. In Vol. 1, the trap style was used in combination with the New York lyrical style The Mob are known for, making it a unique and pleasant experience. In Vol. 2, however, the style of the album does not feel unique; it feels like The Mob are chasing a style that the likes of Migos and Future do much better. Of the sixteen members of A$AP Mob, eight of them are rappers and they all appear on the album. While fully utilising all the members is something I appreciate, I do not like how most of the members are all squeezed onto songs together, restricting the verses they can have and not fully showing off their abilities. Once you add in the external features of Big Sean, Pro Era, Quavo, Lil Uzi Vert, Lil Yachty, Chief Keef, Gucci Mane, Schoolboy Q, Frank Ocean, Jaden Smith, & Flatbush Zombies, it is certainly a clusterfuck of voices on some tracks. With all of this in mind, seeing as I am a fan of A$AP Mob (especially A$AP Rocky), I gave the album multiple listens and I did end up enjoying a few of the songs despite the issues. While there are several upbeat songs that great to turn up to, I feel as if the longevity Vol. 2 is significantly shorter than that of Vol. 1.

RATINGS

Concept: 2/5 Production: 3.7/5 Lyrical Content: 3.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 3.5/5 Repeatability: 2/5 Did I enjoy this project? Not entirely, I liked what I could. Songs to Recommend? RAF, Frat Rules, Feels So Good, Coziest and What Happens

Final Rating: 2.9/5

ASAP Rocky, ASAP Ferg, ASAP Twelvyy, Playboi Carti (of A$AP Mob), Joey Badass, Kirk Knight, Nyck Caution (of Pro Era), Meechy Darko and Zombie Juice (of Flatbush Zombies)- What Happens What happens when you bring three of the most prominent rap groups in New York together onto one song? You get three and a half minutes of just bars from members of A$AP Mob, Pro Era and Flatbush Zombies. I was randomly thinking about the possibility of this song happening and thinking it would be highly unlikely and I was caught by surprise. All I can say is I am in love with this song…Definitely one of my favourite songs of the year.

ALBUM

A$AP Twelvyy- 12 Released: August 4, 2017 Label: ASAP Worldwide, Polo Grounds Music and RCA Records

What is unfortunate about the A$AP Mob is that a majority of people still do not know who is exactly in this conglomerate. Despite being together throughout this decade, most fans would only know of A$AP Rocky and A$AP Ferg. Although other members have featured on previous projects from Rocky and Ferg, it was the release of the first Cozy Tapes, that I was exposed to the underrated members of the Mob, including A$AP Twelvyy. With standout performances on Mob single, Crazy Brazy and the underrated Cozy Tape song, Young Nigga Living, Twelvyy showed that he was a rapper to look at for. It was The Mob’s Awgest, however that would allow Twelvyy to show the world that he was ready to come out of the shadow cast by his fellow Mob members. Twelvyy gives us his debut album, 12 and, frankly, Twelvyy actually set up a high standard for the rest of the A$AP releases and neither Ferg’s Still Striving or the sequel to the Cozy Tapes could live up to it. 12 deviates from the Trap-New York hybrid style that a majority of the Mob have been thriving at for the last few years and instead, brings it back to basics with a gritty, purely NY rap album. 12 does not place a lot of emphasis on the style of production or the use of all-star features but instead focuses on the lyrics. Twelvyy makes it very clear on this project that he is not only a lyrical rapper but he is also capable of making listeners truly feel every word he is saying with his unique style that feels like a throwback to New York rappers from the 90s without sounding like a cheap imitation. I really appreciate the old school feel of this album and yet, with up to date instrumentation and features from members of the A$AP Mob, Joey Bada$$, Flatbush Zombies and more, 12 does not sound dated. It is a pleasant break from slow beats, deep 808s and trapping lyrics. Of all the three projects released by the A$AP Mob, I feel that 12 is the very best and it will certainly help place Twelvyy on the map.

RATINGS

Concept: 3/5 Production: 3.8/5 Lyrical Content: 4/5 Flow and Delivery: 4/5 Repeatability: 4/5 Did I enjoy this project? Yes, I did Songs to Recommend? Strapped, Castle Hell, Diamonds, Hop Out, A Glorious Death and Ea$t$ideGho$t

Final Rating: 3.8/5

A$AP Twelvyy- Strapped The first single off the album and one of the hardest hitting lyrically. Coming out with the old school flow and a strong telling of his life in Harlem. An impressive showing by Twelvvy that immediately shows off what he is about.

ALBUM

XXXTENTACION- 17 Released: August 25, 2017 Label: Bad Vibes Forever and Empire Distribution

The second album named after a number this week is brought to you by XXXTENTACION. Over the last year, X has become of the most controversial figures in hip hop. Becoming a huge hit star while in prison, garnering a rabid fan base, throwing shots at Drake for “stealing his flow” and spitting bars about murdering everyone if there were to be an apocalypse, X has certainly set himself apart from a lot of rappers out right now. I feel that he has further pushed himself away from the pack with his debut album, 17. 

17 My collection of nightmares, thoughts, and real life situations I’ve lived

The first sentence uttered upon listening to this album.

X has stated that 17 is an album specifically for the depressed and the suicidal with the use of an alternative RnB style, which is an immediate deterrent for anyone who expected him to have a tracklist that resembled his hit single Look at Me. This sentiment is very clear from the overall tone of the project; gone is the hyped up aggression that he has become known for and instead, a sombre yet distressed feeling is present throughout the 22 minute run time of the project (That is correct, 17 is that short). On 17, X explores a lot over its very short duration: he dedicates two songs (Jocelyn Flores and Revenge) to his friend who committed suicide earlier this year, his own depressive feelings, his conflicting feelings towards his ex-girlfriend (on Depression & Obsession, Fuck Love and Carry On) and feelings of pain and inadequacy. I thoroughly appreciate the themes explored on this album and it truly shows depth towards the character of XXXTENTACION. My only issue is with this album…the length. Being a short project in itself is not a problem (some of my favourite albums from this year have had short durations: Big Fish Theory and 4:44, just to name a few) but my issue is that a majority of the 10 songs on this album felt incomplete and rushed. In my mind, it felt like so much more could have gone into the production of the album (unless X chose to have this bare-bones, stripped-down sound on purpose then he is a genius). All things considered, 17 is a short, yet strong showing of XXXTENTACION’s talent and I think it opens the gate for more in the future.

RATINGS

Concept: 4/5 Production: 2.5/5 Lyrical Content: 4.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 3.5/5 Repeatability: 3/5 Did I enjoy this project? Yes, I did Songs to Recommend? The entire album is 22 minutes long…You might as well listen to the whole thing.

Final Rating: 3.5/5

XXXTENTACION- Jocelyn Flores The first of two songs dedicated to his friend, Jocelyn, who committed suicide while visiting him in Florida. The song takes up the narrative of X reacting to Jocelyn’s death, battling with his own suicidal urges, remembering his uncle’s own suicide and ultimately fighting through the pain to live on. What is really haunting about this song is the sampled used. The lyrics start off saying “ I know you so well, so well “ which is soaked in painful irony as a recurring feeling for the loved ones of suicide victims is that they knew them so well and could never imagine the victim taking their life and yet, they could not know the true depth of the victim’s feelings before it was too late.

ALBUM

Lil Uzi Vert- Luv Is Rage 2 Released: August 25, 2017 Label: Generation Now and Atlantic Records

On a previous instalment of the Soundtrack, I outlined my feelings on some of the members of the 2016 XXL Freshman class. I discussed how that the standouts of this class were 21 Savage, Lil Yachty, Kodak Black and Lil Uzi Vert as these four were not only the younger members of this class but also they each had numerous popular singles and gathered the largest fan bases. While I do see that these four are the biggest stars of this new age of hip hop, I feel that Lil Uzi Vert comes out on top, with the most potential to transcend the rest and become a superstar. The self-proclaimed rock star brings a completely different energy that you do not see from a lot of rappers. With dreadlocks that have been every colour of the rainbow, a carefree, androgynous attitude and a style that mirrors more alternative rockers than gangster rappers, Lil Uzi Vert sets himself apart from any other rapper out today in such a way that it is hard to not look at him.

I had heard songs here and there from Uzi but I knew he was on his way to good things with the release of his now triple platinum single, XO Tour Llif3. When you are able to get millions of people around the world sing morbid lyrics such as “push me to the edge, all my friends are dead”, you have to believe that he is bound to fly upwards. While I initially thought of it being a rapper’s parody of an alternative rock song from the early 2000s, it began to grow on me. The impressive production from TM88 and the lyrics that portray the story of Uzi trying to escape a toxic relationship but his girl traps him by saying she was not afraid to kill herself made it hard for me to continue hating on the song. This single would act as a precursor to his highly anticipated debut album, Luv Is Rage 2. I had become intrigued enough by Uzi to listen to this project and I must say, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

The surprise album was certainly a surprise. One thing I have noticed Uzi do is to hide feelings within his songs that are often uptempo party tracks. In this album, he shows a sense of maturity not a lot of his peers are showing yet; opening up about his feelings toward his ex-girlfriend and usage of prescription drugs. This fleeting instances of introspection are, however, surrounded by braggadocious lyrics, upbeat production, autotune enhanced vocals and a million ad-libs. Over multiple listens, Luv is Rage 2 certainly begins to grow on you; I found myself singing along with the melodies and bopping my head to the beats (that are very well produced, by the way. Some of the best production I have heard on a Lean Rap album from this year). A lot of headlines related to Lil Uzi Vert are often related to either his androgynous style or his affinity for the Satanism (because of jewellery with upside down crosses and throwing around triple sixes everywhere) but I feel that Luv Is Rage 2 sets him apart from his contemporaries and shows that he has the potential to last for a long time…it almost makes me want to listen to the rock album he has in the works….

RATINGS

Concept: 3/5 Production: 4/5 Lyrical Content: 2/5 Flow and Delivery: 3.5/5 Repeatability: 3/5 Did I enjoy this project? Yes, I did Songs to Recommend? Neon Guts, Sauce It Up, The Way Life Goes, For Real and Unfazed (because The Weeknd is featured)

Final Rating: 3.1/5

Lil Uzi Vert featuring Pharrell Williams- Neon Guts Suggesting you guys listen to XO Tour Llif3 would be too easy, instead, I recommend the Pharrell assisted Neon Guts. A collaboration I did not think I wanted to listen to until it happened, the pair exhibit a cool energy and a lot of chemistry on this standout track on the album.

#asap mob #asap yams #asap rocky #asap ferg #asap twelvyy #asap nast #asap ant #asap tyy #playboi carti #pro era #flatbush zombies #big sean #quavo #lil yachty #lil uzi vert #gucci mane #chief keef #joey bada$$ #cozy tapes #cozy tape vol 2 #12 #strapped #xxxtentacion #17 #jocelyn flores #revenge #luv is rage 2 #hip hop #album recommendation #music

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 4.14.2007 + 4.15.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week. today: buttrock confessions

4.14.2007

40) "Ticks," Brad Paisley

So I watched the whole entire CMAs instead of Game 7 of the World Series and don't regret a single choice I made (the game went into extras, you don’t really have to watch baseball until the ninth inning tbh), and it struck me how much of a dorky theatre kid Brad Paisley was. He's objectively a great guitarist, like hokey as this song is and as little I know about music I think that's a dope fucking guitar line, but gosh darn, he was trying so hard the whole time at those CMAS! And that puts a song like this in perspective, because, like I said, it's hokey as fuck, but if you can just understand that Brad Paisley's sense of humor is that of someone who understands that being funny is a way to be Liked and is trying his best to be Liked, it sort of comes together and you can brush it off.

75) "We Takin' Over," DJ Khaled ft./T.I., Akon, Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Lil' Wayne, Baby

FUCK DUDE LIL' WAYNE USED TO BE GOOD. Like OK I think we all know I wanted to come here and be like "look at the humble beginnings of the meme man! He wasn't such a meme in these days!" but then there was a Lil' Wayne verse where he wasn't fucking around with Auto-tune, he was just rapping, and he was such a good fucking rapper that I'm actually angrier at the two "verses" he had on those Nicki Minaj songs a couple weeks back. It's not even one of his more notable verses, I don't think, it was just a normal 10-year-old Wayne verse, but I'm still here like, what a treat, a Lil' Wanye feature I don't mind! How lucky we were in 2007!

78) "Little Wonders," Rob Thomas

it is good to remember things that are nice! the lyric video i watched for this song ended with this message from the editor: "Believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never, EVER give up =)." i would have much rather someone had just repeated those words over and over for three and a half minutes than listened to this song. DANNY ELFMAN?! fuck are you doing here, danny elfman? are you lost?

79) "Hey There Delilah," Plain White T's

There is nothing I could say about this song that would be worth saying.

82) "I Tried," Bone Thugs-N-Harmony ft./Akon

a'ight, see, now i feel better about bumping pink and jordan pruitt from the top 20, because it won't be some buttrock heroes what bumps 'em, it'll be a legit impressive, heartfelt song. i'm kinda surprised i don't remember this! now i just gotta contend with the fact most of both top 20s are gonna be dudes. but like most of these songs are dudes. this week is all dudes. next week is a 7:2 dude-to-lady ratio. last week was 2:1. maybe less dudes? idk, recency bias is doin' work, but at least two weeks from now, we're gonna get some dope tunes.

87) "Get Buck," Young Buck

HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKING BEAT THE TUBA HAS NEVER HAD A BETTER DAY IN ITS LIFE. OK, this is the first 2007 track I think has been unjustifiably forgotten by time. “Say OK” hit me, but I think that was just a moment for me. This is objectively a classic, this fucking beat, man. Young Buck doesn't add a ton to the proceedings, but he doesn't ruin anything, his gruff, shouty flow is perfect for the beat, and I'll admit, I got a dark chuckle out of the "I can serve Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown" line. This was fuckin' rad, y'all, the best "new to me" song I've heard so far. Seriously this beat, how have we not found a better home for it, how did no one else latch onto it. A strong silver medalist in the "Southern rap songs with the word 'buck' in the title" category.

89) "A Woman's Love," Alan Jackson

Alan Jackson, last seen walking out on Beyonce's performance at the CMAs, is here singing a jaunty tune about how one time he fucked.

91) "Love Today," MIKA

i mean it's just a good song, man, i dunno. i'm allowed to just say when a song is solid and something i can jam to, right, when i don't think i have anything to justify? it's low-rent scissor sisters. I'LL TAKE THAT ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. solid week.

95) "Forever," Papa Roach

...oh goddamnit i love this song. No, you don't... Lemme explain. I need to explain, so lemme. So, I listened to a lot of the local buttrock station in my teens, because that's what the radio at the auto shop where I worked was always tuned to, was 93X. And, I dunno, there's a lot of bullshit I forgot and a lot of shit too horrible to purge from the mind, I've heard the acoustic version of Staind's "Outside" more times than any man ever should, but there were some songs where the Stockholm Syndrome hit, and you were like, "Well, maybe Chevelle isn't ALL bad." This was definitely the point where I was like, "Hey, this is the one decent Papa Roach song!" I was legit angry when I realized this was that song, I forgot I ever loved a Papa Roach song, I was 10000% sure this was a cover because there was no way I was going to go anywhere but IN on this song, but no, this is a song I shouted in the shower at least five times. I'm so disappointed in myself right now, but... But, yeah, this is, I can’t quite place where they cribbed the verses from but they cribbed well, the chorus is shouty and fake-deep like all the great buttrock songs, and I love that ending, the “one last kiss” thing over that bass line, without reservation. We have to be true to who we were, and who we are is never fully removed from who we were. I hate this. I hate having to admit this. THE ONE PAPA ROACH SONG I FUCK WITH, AND IT HAS TO BE PART OF THIS PROJECT. I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT A KENDRICK LAMAR SONG SOON, AND HERE I AM, FUCKING WITH A PAPA ROACH SONG, THROWING MY CRITICAL AUTHORITY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.

97) "Breath," Breaking Benjamin

I have less reservations about loving a Breaking Benjamin song, though, because Breaking Benjamin wasn't fake-deep like Papa Roach. ("My feelings for you are forever." God, that's stupid. I love a very stupid thing.) No, Breaking Benjamin was legit dark, they were a buttrock band I knew was OK because my friend who ended up going to a semi-prestigious art high school of some renown was into them. Is it the same song as "The Diary of Jane?" Yeah, kinda, there's more than a little resemblance, "THE DIARY OF JANE" IS A LEGIT GREAT SONG AND BITING THAT SONG IS A SMART MOVE.

At least Papa Roach couldn’t crack the Top 20. 2007: gaining strength! 20) "Get it Shawty," by Lloyd (3.31.2007) 19) "Break 'Em Off," by Paul Wall ft./Lil' KeKe (3.10.2007) 18) "My Oh My," by The Wreckers (1.27.2007) 17) "Mr. Jones," by Mike Jones (1.27.2007) 16) "Settlin'," by Sugarland (2.17.2007) 15) "I Tried," by Bone Thugs 'n Harmony (4.21.2007) 14) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 13) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 12) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 11) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.21.2007) 10) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 9) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 8) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 7) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 6) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 5) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.21.2007) 4) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 3) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 2) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 1) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007)

4.15.2017

22) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar

I mean, with the way I do this thing, everything that's been said about this song has been said, and I'm hella late to the party, trying to get another round of Pin the Tail on the Donkey started. "You didn't have fun without me, I'm about to have fun WITH you!" No Bob! we already played that game Bob!. "BLINDFOLD ME!" I think it's vitally important that Kendrick Lamar remind everyone that he's the best MC alive right now, because he is, and gosh, he just fucking raps for four minutes. Barely a hook, just Kendrick Lamar verses and flows for a solid four minutes, and I'm really curious how many rappers could sustain a song for four (mostly) uninterrupted minutes just on their own. Minimalist production, it's just your voice and your words. I'd put Danny Brown in that category, but it'd be a bleak-ass four minutes. I want to put Killer Mike in that category, but I have to think there's a reason he works best in a duo. I'd want to listen to what four minutes of undiulted Young Thug would sound like?, but more out of curiosity than belief in his ability. And I mean Kendrick's the only one in the popular consciousness who could do it, no fuckin’ question, there's no one in the mainstream rap world anywhere NEAR his level. (Kendrick Lamar is barely mainstream, of course, and that fact is a source of much consternation on this song, like there's no way the entire Kendrick album breaks the Hot 100 like the entire Drake album did, but he was in a Tay Tay song the one time and that's enough.) Just listening to Kendrick Lamar rap is one of the most thrilling songs I've heard for YAS 2017. Honestly, I'm ranking it too low in the Top 20, but only because I have to think better things are on their way and am wary of that recency bias wave.

49) "XO Tour Lif3," by Lil Uzi Vert

Congratulations on being the modern rap song which followed "The Heart Part 4!" You were always going to suffer in comparison, and while I regret that it happened to you, I hope you understand it had to happen to someone. I mean, this is a three-minute song, and at some point I got bored enough that I forgot I was supposed to be paying attention to come up with an observation and/or a joke and did other things. Not even shit I needed to take care of, I checked Facebook and thought about getting a glass of milk until he started saying all his friends are dead, like what?, oh okay I guess that's how this song ends then, OH FUCK well prolly not worth dipping back in if I got that distracted.

61) "Speak to a Girl," by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

So over the last four weeks, only three women have had tracks debut on the Hot 100. That's pretty cool. One of the three dudes who wrote this song, about what a girl REALLY wants from a man, was also a co-writer on Jason Derulo's "Wiggle," which is, I mean, I'm going off Wikipedia, I'm hopeful this is too awful to be true, but if it isn't, how does that dude sleep at night? What does that dude believe in? Who is his god, just, to what moral authority is our man Joe London holding himself accountable? Do Not Trust Joe London. Another of the songwriters worked with a band called Confederate Railroad. Country music is the coolest. I'm so proud to like this genre.

66) "Still Got Time," by ZAYN ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR

First of all, we need to take a minute to discuss the sheer disrespect for the concept of caps lock expressed by ZAYN and PARTYNEXTDOOR. This is a mumblecore pop song, and I must insist these dudes cease using all capital letters until they prove they're capable of expressing excitement. Other than that gripe, though, I dunno, I didn't have a bad time! I enjoyed it about as much as I did "Running Back" a few weeks ago, it didn't light this Tuesday evening on fire, but it was a chill groove, and I appreciated the B+ to which all involved contributed. Also, new favorite Wikipedia line: "Shane Lindstrom, professionally known as Murda Beatz." One, professionally known. Two, imagine ever asking someone to call you Murda. Gosh, what a stupid fucking stage name. (Stage name? Backstage name? Why do you need an alias bro you're a fucking producer, you don't get to have a fake name, the fuck makes you think you can have a fake name. Even Swizz Beatz rapped sometimes, what is your goddamned problem Murda Beatz.)

2017′s Top 20! I lowered “Run Up” again. I miss it dearly but I can’t pretend I liked it more than “Green Light.” 20) "Swalla," by Jason Derulo ft./Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (4.8) 19) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 18) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 17) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 16) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 15) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 14) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 9) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) how the fuck did “swalla” make it two weeks Also, I know there was a new Iggy Azalea song, and I’m just gonna say, if having to listen to 21 Drake songs was the price I paid to not have to hear 1 Iggy Azalea song, I will have been glad to have paid the toll. That is a reasonable trade, one I would never say no to. Boy I hope it doesn’t debut next week! Also: “iSpy” in the for-real top five! That’s so dope! I’m happy for that song!

Who won the week?

2007 had the stronger showing this week, and let’s be real, I think it’s out-paced 2017 at this point. 2007′s at the point where “Get It Shawty” is hanging on by a thread while “Grace Kelly” and “Outside Looking In” are outside looking in. 2017 needs to step its game up. We’re two weeks from “Umbrella.” Is that so much to ask, is for just one instant classic era-defining monster jam that shatters the world? Come on, 2017! 2007: 2 2017: 1

[bloggerblagger]

79) Losing it in Morocco.

How many Moroccan policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A fuck of a lot  judging by the number of Moroccan policemen it took to record the loss of my i-phone.

In  the final act of this mind numbing saga -  a kind of slow, grinding trench warfare on the will to live -  there were  four of them, one guy   bashing away at ‘l’ordinateur’ one key at a  time, three more chipping in with helpful suggestions, mainly  speaking in Arabic, sometimes in French, one or other  occasionally glancing up at me  to demonstrate  his command of English  - ‘Mon-shas-taire - ‘Why-eene Rrrroo-nee’ - and in doing so, revealing that Britain is not the only country where dentistry  is not as popular as it possibly should be.

The timeline was basically this. At around 7.30pm, and having arrived back at my hotel, I exited a blue taxi. (Blue taxis being some sort of officially authorised taxi  service in Rabat, which is the capital of Morocco if you didn’t know,  which you probably didn’t but now do, a  bit of otherwise useless info to be carefully stored away for your next pub quiz.).  As I stepped on to what passed for a pavement, and the driver  floored the accelerator and disappeared into the night, I was struck by the horrific realisation that I had somehow contrived to leave my phone behind in ‘le taxi bleu’. (As you see, my French is faultless.)

Help! Stop! Thief! Well, no, not a thief, but stop anyway!

Panicked, I took off in hot pursuit, pointlessly running about half a mile and bashing on the windows of various taxis along the way, eliciting lively but not, if I am being strictly truthful, entirely friendly responses from the drivers, all of whom looked very much  like my guy but not very much enough.

Knackered and defeated I turned back towards the hotel to be met by Sherri, my travelling companion, who offered a few consoling words - “Don’t worry, could have happened to anyone”, but who was clearly thinking, and not unjustifiably, “What a careless twat!” -  and then I got back to the hotel, where Hadif, the manager, confounded my snotty, European expectations of the locals by being astonishingly  solicitous and helpful.

He deputed a local chap, who seemed to be hanging about outside in the hope of picking up such assignments, to accompany me to the police  station where we met the first of the night’s PC Al Ploddis. (Casually sporting  an Uzi or similar.) After about an hour’s Arabic banter with my minder who spoke neither English nor French  and consequent calls back to Hadif so I could get a translation, it emerged that the King of Jordan was in town for a pow wow with his mate, the King of Morocco - “What ho your majesty!”,“What ho your majesty!”, “Not half bad this absolute ruler lark, eh what?” “Absolutely spiffing!”. Consequently, all police personnel were engaged in his protection and unavailable to investigate the vital matter of my missing i-phone. “Pliss to return later.”

When in trouble, eat.

So back we trudged to the hotel where Hadif suggested to Sherri and me that we should have some dinner before going back to the police station. (Just to be clear: I did not imagine that a Moroccan SWAT team was about to hit the streets of Rabat in pursuit of my i-phone but I needed the official report of it’s loss for my insurance claim, and I was leaving Rabat first thing in the morning.) Dinner seemed like a good idea, Sherri very generously offering to pick up the tab in order to help me recover from my devastating loss - ‘MY I-PHONE! No internet! No Facebook! No news of Trump’s latest bit of barmy Trumpiness! MY LIFE IS OVER!!!’  

We repaired to a place to which she had been recommended, called ‘Le Dhow’ which was indeed on a boat, and I had a very decent risotto. (Not a typical Moroccan dish as foodies amongst you may be aware, but after nearly a week in Morocco  I was totally Tagined out.)

Anyway to cut an excruciatingly long and tedious story not very short,  we allowed plenty of time for the two Kings to swap notes about kinging before  I and my minder (still hanging about outside the hotel) went back to the police station a bit before midnight, there to be directed from pillar to post and back again and enduring more endless chats with more Uzi toting members of Rabat’s finest before eventually ending up in a room with the aforementioned Famous Four.

Later. (Much later.)

Just after two in the morning, one of them triumphantly pulled something from the printer and brought it over to me to sign. It was entirely in Arabic, and  for all I knew could have been a confession that I was hatching a plot to commit double regicide, but by that time I wouldn’t have given a fuck - clever chaps, these Moroccan policemen, waterboarding who needs it! - and I willingly signed. And signed again. And again. And again. And again. For this form was in quintuplicate. Yes, for some reason - I’m sure there was a good one had I asked and had about three weeks to spare to hear the answer - the Moroccan authorities needed  five separate hard copies of the record of my lost of i-phone. (To whom  would they go? Where would they be filed? How many policemen would  it take to file them? Allah alone knows.)

Not unreasonably - I thought -  I asked which copy “Je peux prendre” only to be met by four simultaneous expressions d’horreur. “No, monsieur, these are not for you, you must return tomorrow at midday for your form. That, Monsieur, is a different form.”

A grown man cries.

I fell to my knees, a jibbering wreck. “Yes, yes, it was me” I whimpered, “I confess, I confess. I did it! I did them all! I am single handedly responsible for all the crimes in Morocco since I’ve been here. And the ones before that too if you like. Well, not quite single handedly because Sherri  was in on them too, of course. You’ve got the name of our hotel - you’ll find her holed up in room 503. She’ll probably come quietly, but if she doesn’t, well, do what you have to do. Before you go and give her a good Uzi-ing though, give me a pen and I faithfully promise I will write a complete  confession to everything  - only please, please, PLEASE  don’t make me come back tomorrow for another bout of Moroccan fucking form filling.”

Let no man or woman say that a Moroccan policeman  has no heart. It was clearly unprecedented in all of the annals of Moroccan policing, and flew slap, bang in the face of Moroccan police protocol, but what were rules for, if not to be broken? Perhaps it was something about seeing a grown man weep, or an Englishman grovel, who can say, but, for some inexplicable reason, against their better judgement - maybe it was some sort of double royal pardon -  they weakened and  agreed to fill in my form that very night. (Or, rather morning, which by now of course, it (un)comfortably was.)

And credit where credit is due. They positively whizzed through this form and were printing  it out in no more than another forty five minutes. And then came the crowning moment - the glorious climax to their night’s (and morning’s) extraordinary work - one of them had the privilege of reaching into a  drawer to  pull out a rubber stamp. (Though the other three seemed to be smiling, I am not at all convinced their happiness was genuine. It was a bit like one player insisting on taking the penalties. The others pretend to support him but  do they really like him grabbing the glory? And had these guys not been dreaming of such moments since when, at four or five,  they first experienced the thrill of using a rubber stamp - eyes-narrowed, ever so deliberately squeezing down into the pad until the ink squelched up, and then the slow raising of the hand, waiting, waiting, poised for the kill, until smashing  down - bam, bam, bam! Isn’t that the  very meaning of the stamp of authority? What policeman could watch another do that without the dagger of envy plunging into his soul?)

With one bound….

And then it was done. The imprimatur of la police de Maroc  without which my life would forever be blighted, had finally been applied.  For a seemingly interminable moment the piece of paper hung tantalisingly  there in the fetid police station air before I grabbed it from the lucky stamper’s hand and blubbed like a baby. “Merci, merci, merci, merci” I babbled to each of my torturers in turn. Talk about the Stockholm syndrome. We were best buddies for life from now on, bonded together by an experience none of us would surely ever be able to forget. Sure as hell, I wouldn’t.

Shortly before three, I crawled back into the hotel, exhausted but elated.  My goodwill to all men knew no bounds - I actually gave the nice hotel man, Hadif, a tip of 200 dirhams, about £17, so I was very probably clinically delirious. When I reached the room, the door had not been blasted off it’s hinges,  and Sherri appeared not to have been peppered by Uzi bullets.

Bonnie had been spared and now Clyde could begin the insurance claim.

And now, a quick trip around the rest of Morocco:

Casablanca. Not much to write home about in the brief stay we had there. Like all tourists we had to try Rick’s Place - there is a place by that name  - and in one room it has the film running on a loop.  Other gin-joints in other places probably preferable.

Tangier. Stayed in the medina (the ancient walled part of the town) as we did almost everywhere. Olde-worlde, down with the people authenticity essential for the likes of us - always providing the Riad (local for hotel I believe) is tastefully designed, the en suite bathroom is spotless, the orange juice is freshly squeezed and none of ‘the people’ come within a million miles of us - except to squeeze the orange juice. Quite liked Tangier.

Chef Chouen. Where all the buildings are painted blue. Two nights more than enough. (When you’ve seen a thousand and one blue buildings you’ve seen the lot.)

Fes. Another day, another riad. Had a cooking lesson there at the Clock Café which is owned by the ex-mâitre d’ of the Wolseley. (Or so he claims. He wasn’t there for me to test his story with some fiendishly cunning Hercule Poirot type cunning.

“Ah monsieur, many is the time I have walked out of Green Park tuber stashon, past the Savoy Hotel and into the Wolseley.”

“Ah yes, the Savoy” wistfully  reminisces  the so-called former mâitre d’, blundering into the trap I have set for him.

“No Monsieur” I cry, “I tricked you. It is not the Savoy. it is the Ritz!”

“Sacre bleu! I am undone!”)

Enjoyed the cooking lesson. Made a chicken tagine with a chicken bought in the souk and whose throat was cut by the butcher in front of us. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, you would have been so proud.

Rabat. The capital. Located on the Atlantic Ocean at the mouth of the river Bou Regreg. (Catchy name.) Ranked at second place by CNN in its "Top Travel Destinations of 2013". Medina of Rabat is listed as a World Heritage Site. At least that’s what it says on Wikipedia. I didn’t see anything much apart from the inside of a police station.

Marrakesh. Yet another riad in yet in another medina. This medina is pretty vast, a gigantic rabbit warren of tiny claustrophobic streets in which you get hopelessly lost every two minutes. Then some dodgy local appears at your shoulder whispering, “Ingleesh?” and then, whether you like it or not - and you invariably don’t - leads you off, ever deeper into the warren in search for the place you are looking for, having to stop frequently to ask for directions himself. Being hassled and importuned every 20 seconds by moustachioed, dentally challenged  shopkeepers in the souk (where the souk begins and the rest of the medina begins I never worked out) or by youths hanging around street corners, is the lot of every tourist in Marrakesh, and indeed everywhere else in Morocco. Be sure to carry plenty of change. Marrakesh teems with life and is genuinely exciting. But, at times, also quite unnerving.

Atlas mountains. Went on a group excursion to the edge of the desert - didn’t have time to go all the way in - and this involved mini-bussing  over the mountains via a million hair-pin bends. Those prone to motion sickness should think twice before they go.  Snow capped in the distance, stunningly verdant panoramas on the way through, scenery to blow the mind without aid of ‘kief’ as they call Marajuana in the local argot. (A misspelling of Keef in whose honour they have named it perhaps?) I am embarrassed to say I was not once approached to buy any. I am way too much of a nervous nellie to make a purchase from street drug dealers and I haven’t smoked any for years, but it would have been nice not to look so decrepit and uncool that they didn’t even bother to ask.

Assorted (a mixed bag of) other impressions:

Beetroot or avocado and fresh orange juice smoothies a speciality and much, much better than they sound.  Alcohol not available in most hostelries but can be winkled out. Local food good if a bit samey after a while but very decent and inventive restaurants not hard to find. Lack of decent French a definite hindrance. People sometimes helpful and friendly way, way beyond the call of duty, sometimes unpleasant and even downright menacing.

Some interesting bits and bobs to buy - carpets and silver jewellery and bottles of  argon oil, exquisite pastries and sweety knick knacks. Endless tedious bargaining de rigeur of course. They will start eye poppingly high so you have go in derisorily low. Also a colossal amount of tat for sale. Electric plastic Ninja on a skateboard anyone? Tat, tat and more tat.  Marrakesh might  be well be the tat capital of the world.

Trains sometimes good, even luxurious,  if not always that punctual. Railway stations beautifully kept - they put ours to shame.  Civic buildings and architecture highly impressive, the new as well as the old. All in all a strange and potentially intoxicating mixture of the medieval - the souks and the golems - and the surprisingly affluent - the wide, sweeping roads and modern cities outside the medinas.

Morocco made quite a deep impression on me but, in truth, I felt - for no particular reason - quite glad to escape in one piece. Although light years apart, it was a bit like I used to feel about New York in the seventies. Would I go back? The jury is out.