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my-castles-crumbling · 8 days

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hi cas :)

im not sure this is me asking for advice because i don’t think there’s really a recipe for getting over someone but i just need to rant into the void

so there’s this girl. let’s call her lucy. we went to the same high school but never really met. she was a year older and one of those “popular” girls i guess, so we never really crossed paths, but we knew about each other. she was one of those girls who made the room brighter just by being in it. like calling her gorgeous is an understatement. and she was always super kind to everyone. like all the boys in school had a crush on her at some point.

so fast forward a bit, first year of uni. i moved into a big city and enrolled into the same university as lucy’s best friend. let’s call her cathy (lucy lives in a different city about 4 hours from us). cathy and i quickly become really close and of course she starts mentioning lucy a lot. she also talks about me to lucy. cathy starts telling me how we should definitely hang out, how we have so much in common and how lucy would love to get to know me (we both loved taylor swift read the same books etc) but as we lived in different cities it was kinda hard to arrange. quickly we developed this kind of weird parasocial relationship through cathy. like lucy would tell cathy to ask my opinion on something, she would send cathy voicemails to forward to me when she wanted to discuss something, she also invited me to a harry styles concert but i was busy so i couldn’t go and so on. i should maybe point out that she didn’t really use social media so that’s why she didn’t dm me or something.

at one point i discover that lucy is a lesbian. cathy never really mentions it but it becomes quite obvious from some stories. and at this point, i kinda start crushing really hard. my little lesbian heart is only so strong and here’s this drop dead gorgeous girl who is so amazing and we have so much in common and god what is a girl to do.

i learn that lucy has a girlfriend and get kinda sad but can’t really complain so i try to get over my little crush and move on. however, one day lucy deletes all pictures with her gf from instagram she briefly had. a few weeks later she messages me and tells me she wants to visit me and cathy, and that there’s this big 1989 tv release party in the city i live in and she would love for us to go together. i’m of course smiling into my pillow.

so she comes in october for the party. this is our first time officially hanging out. and god, we have the best night ever. nothing explicitly romantic happens, but we just have so much fun. we go out for drinks and talk and then we go to this party and dance and drink and have the time of our life. and at this point i’m really thinking about this as a date, because we’re both queer and she hugs me and holds my hand and we actually cuddle in front of the club. and then. it’s really late and we’re both kinda drunk and want to go home so she calls her ex (?) to pick us up. i agree as i’m pretty tired but i’m also so confused as i have no idea what’s going on here. anyways, the night ends and we have brunch tomorrow and talk about how we had a great night, but don’t mention anything else.

long story short, she gets back together with her girlfriend and kinda stops contacting me as frequently, but half a year later, i’m still hung up on a girl i literally spent 24 hours with. and sure, i’m interested in other girls, have other crushes i guess, but somehow my mind always comes back to her. the reason i’m writing this today is because i haven’t listend to taylor in a while, but ttpd came out and suddenly i hear her in every song and she still told cathy to ask me my favourite song as soon as it came out. and she still talks about wanting to visit me and god i want to just move on so bad. but i know i’m gonna text her as soon as another party comes up when we’re both free. and it’s just gonna be the same thing over again.

Hi! <3

damn, this is...this sounds so difficult.

Honestly? I think Lucy needs to make up her mind. It sounds like she's trying to have her cake and eat it too by being with her girlfriend and flirting with you, and either she doesn't know what she's doing (which isn't great, but it happens) or she's not thinking about anyone else's feelings (which is worse).

I know it is so easy to get hung up on someone like this- there's like...such a fun aspect of a romance like this where it's drawn-out and a bit forbidden and kind of dramatic. But the problem with something like this is it hardly ever ends well and you deserve someone who wants you wholly.

Of course, this is all easy for me to say, as I'm not the one to experience it. But I think if I were you, I would take this album release as an opportunity to think about what you deserve and how you can use the songs to process your feelings. Because the important thing is, you deserve more, and you're not getting it, whether it's on purpose or not.

<3 <3 <3 <3 Sending you all the love!

Also, naming you deserving anon in case you want to update/write back!

#ask #asks #ask cas #deserving anon

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collidedscope · 5 months

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i have work at 4…. so i need to arrive at the building by 3:55… it takes me 15 mins to get there, but i better round that up to 30mins in case of heavy traffic and so i don’t feel rushed, so i have to leave at 3:25….!it takes me about an hour to get ready, except i usually am rushing around and running late by the end of that hour, so maybe i should schedule 75minutes to get ready… but i already showered (which probably takes 15 minutes???), so i probably only do need an hour to get ready today… so i should probably start getting ready at 2:25…. but i might want to get coffee on the way, which probably will take an extra 10mins, so better start getting ready at 2:15….. although if i order something to eat along with my coffee, i don’t need to schedule time to eat something during my “getting ready” time… so if i’m not showering or eating anything, all i really need to do is get changed and brush my teeth, which should only take me like 10 mins…. so i actually only need to start getting ready at like 3, right?…. but no, i KNOW it usually takes me way longer than i think, so i should probably start getting ready around 2:30… it’s 1:20 right now, so i don’t have time to watch a movie or anything…. might as well just scroll on tumblr for a bit

*a full 90minutes later*: oh god, finally i have the motivation to get up! oh wait im starving so i do need to make food, and i also want to shower again bc i feel gross, and i’m tired so i will still need to stop and get coffee, and oh shit i need to blow-dry my hair now because there isn’t time for it to air dry… oh fuck my work shirt has a stain, let me spend 10 minutes in vain trying to get that out.. fuck, i’m in a rush and i’m late and i’m tired because the line at the coffee shop was wayyy too long…….. if only i spent an even longer time trying to schedule out my day, then i wouldn’t be in this situation.

#surely i’ve learned my lesson and tomorrow won’t be the exact same as today!!#i speak

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super-powerd-gothamight · 9 months

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Story time

So to start off

1. I am a meta human

And

2. I live in Gotham

So yk it’s gonna be wack

So it was like 11 days ago I was goofing around on the inter-web and I get a call from my school (bare with me) and at this moment Im

Scared as fuck

Because my enemy-ish (let’s call him David) recently found out that I was a meta human and you know that’s not good because of you know

shit ton of discrimination

and so I’m freaking out because I know for a fact David fucking told them something he told like the higher-ups at my college something or other so I am panicking. Don’t want to pick up the phone I do obviously because I’m not stupid

So I pick up the phone and the guy starts and is like “hey thare are some rumours going around campus,” and he’s doing this in like a really annoying way “and so we just wanted to call you in for meeting at *insert college name* and we wanted to talk to you about it to clear everything up” and so I’m in like shock because like

Oh no I’m going to lose my scholarship the school is going to kick me out oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!!!

So I do the most reasonable thing I can think of:

I call Bruce wane

It sounds fucking ridiculous but I went\go to school with like two of his kids

And so I call up Mr.wane and I’m like

“There gonna expel me what do I do what do I do what do I do!!!!?!!!!” And he gets really confused cause like

He pays for my scholarship (bless this man frfr)

And so he’s confused on how thay could just kick me out because my tuition is fully paid and so I explain that they surprisingly care about the Discrimination more than the money because they are assholes

And he asks why they Would do that and I have no clue and so he’s like “I don’t know how to deal with this so sorry I have a Galla tonight and i takes a long time to do my hair” and so I’m like “fine yeah whatever” but than my lord and saviour Bruce wane is like “but I can hand you off to Mr.fox” and I am like thank god so he transfers the call

And so me and Mr.fox talk for a long time maybe an hour or so and he’s like “I strongly advise you to bring a lawyer, a family member and some who can verify your not a danger to the community” and I’m like “thank you thank you thank you” and then I’m like fuck fuck fuck fuck

Because if you don’t know

1. I am an orphan

2. I can’t hold a job because of my meta human status and I’m ✨disabled✨

3. I am not mentally sound and spent three years at Arkham

So that’s means i have no money, no family and no way that anyone would see me ‘safe to the community’ and so I sit I’m my apartment for like two days thinking and dreading my meeting with the college board

And then it comes to me:

I am not just a meta-human

I am a meta human ✨with connections✨

So I do a vary smart thing and I call my sister

The thing about my sister is that if you have followed my blog you will know

1. She’s my quarter-sister not my half-sister

2. Her girlfriend is fond of me and a certified psychologist

3. She has connections with a vary high ranking lawyer

4. That lawyer has connections to a high ranking professor that worked at my college

The thing is

The thing is!!!!!!

My quarter-sister is poison Ivy

Her girlfriend is Harley Quinn

The lawyer is two face

And the professor is scarecrow

You see where I’m going with this

(I’m getting tired so I’m gonna make a part two brb🫀)

#only in gotham #only in gotham rp #gotham roleplay #gothamite #just gotham things #join the dark side #we have stolen batarangs #and stolen people apparently #part 1

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moonjxsung · 28 days

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🌟🪐Star baby🪐🌟

So update on the writer guy: Honestly ever since we exchanged face reveals, he's acting like he's obsessed with the way I look. Specifically, my eyeballs. At first, it was cute and all...

But yesterday I felt like it was getting too much about me (specifically my face) so I tried to have a constructive or fun conversation. I asked him how his day went (it was Saturday) and how did he spend it. He said nothing and his life is pretty boring; he does nothing all day. Well, we spent 4 hours the day before just talking about his hobbies and passion for books and movies and writing so I was kinda thrown off. Which I suppose is not too bad, BUT THEN! He said his mind is occupied by something else entirely. Internally I went "Ain't no way he's gonna say it" and I played dumb and tried my best to steer away when he said "It's you. And specifically how you would look in casuals haha."

Star he wanted pictures of how I looked in jeans and shirts, I was MEGA disappointed. I felt objectified, not admired. I felt so disappointed because we bonded over meaningful conversations about our shared interests and thoughts and well... I just wanted a wholesome friendship ._.

We haven't talked since I said no to him. I even watched a movie and told him I watched Before Sunrise and it's beautiful and he replied "Good".

I'm so done. If we ever happen to talk again and he asks for pics or smth I'll straight up block him.

Anyways

HOW'S YOU MY LIDDOL LOVE??? How was ur weekend, I read the posts about the party and how much fun u had and my heart swelled and felt so warm. I love it when you're happy and having a good time; you deserve it considering the kind of week you had. Even so, I hope from here on your days are filled with warmth and loads of fun and love.

I LOVE YOU MY STAR💫

Your, 🦝

HI MY ANGELLLL 🫶🫶

Oh my god not the eyeball obsession…… HELPPPP THAT’S SO WEIRD???? I fucking HAAAATE IT when you’re in a talking phase with someone and they have to make it sexual 🤕 the first time my ex boyfriend did it I cried so hard because I genuinely thought we were building a connection and I brushed it off the next day, but looking back I would just cut off somebody who did that bc it’s always so random and it just completely throws off the dynamic. Like the minute some guy just wants pictures I will just straight up block now 😐 I’m so sorry bby I thought he seemed so cool and I was excited at least you’d have a wholesome friendship with him but it sucks he had to make it weird ☹️ if he tries to bother you again I will actually fight him frfr

ANYWAYS IM GOOOOOD my weekend was simultaneously so fun but tiring at the same time and I didn’t sleep at all last night so I’m so excited to be done w work today because I’m going to nap allllll day 🫶 I might order a coffee or something to keep me awake bc I feel so unproductive but other than that I’m pulling thru !! I also can’t believe it’s April omg this year is flying by frfr

I LOVE YOU BABY ANGELLLL I hope you have the best week ever and I’m sending you all my love always xoxoxoxo remember to eat and drink lots of water. I love u 👼💕💖💞💘💓💗 boop

#🦝 anon #ask

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hikkvie · 3 months

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its half past midnight andive spent the last 4 hours finishing a good omens poster for a school assignment. if you asked me 3 hours ago if im tired i would say something like "yes god let me sleep i hate this". right now im so far into the grind mindset i want to draw more. why did i finish that poster so quick i want more.

#good omens #sane person talk #me talks

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evilmageclub · 5 months

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29, 20, 7(for inspo):)?

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

wow this is such a hard question.. i just had a little skim through the 4 things i posted this year and there are too many contenders (none as short as a line or a passage) but im gonna say this from the false rings chapter 6 flashback. not as grounded in moment to moment sensations as the stuff i tend to like about my writing but i think it is a neat little summary of why the flashbacks are there in the fic

They had been at war for ten years. It felt like nothing—was nothing, a single dark blot on the most recent page of millennia still being written. Samot’s task, as he viewed it then, was to conquer finality itself… so he would not, and could not, believe in permanent damage. Whether it was Samol’s tired disapproval across his living room couch, or Samothes’ larynx splintering under his teeth on some forsaken battlefield—passing passion, passing cruelty. Or perhaps an adult Maelgwyn sitting in a war tent clutching that mask too tightly in his lap, with a patch of stubble on his upper lip as he spoke that almost made him look older than Samot; who in any case had never felt much like a father, though it would take him years more to give up on being one. Samot had spent too long too far removed from Nothing. Before he had teeth to draw blood or a tongue to apologise for it he had known, until time and a cavalcade of mortal loves had made him forget, how all things must end. Only natural that what tormented him most in the hours after Samothes’ death was not that it had happened, but that it could not be undone. Why this time? Why, among all the endings they had inked into the fabric of history and folded away like keepsakes, did it have to be in a lonely forge by their child’s hand? If he had known. If he had paid more attention to the whispers among his mages or on the city’s canopied streets. If he had known that Tristero had abdicated his throne. If he had known, he would have done it himself and done it right.

there are also a lot of bits i like from the first section of my secsam from last year, which counts as having been posted this year. i had a lot of fun getting lush w the descriptions and sappy about young love

But there is little of the wolf in Samot here, now, as he drains his drink faster than any mindful man should and rises from his seat to look out over the railing. His cloak rests forgotten on the back of his chair, and in its absence the gossamer-silk of his tunic takes flight in the mountain wind, jade and silver flowing forth as he leans forward on tiptoes to take in the view of the city. Yes—Samothes knows he is besotted, and he can conceive of nothing worse than the thought of seeing Samot’s curiosity blunted, his desires turned cold. So he teaches Samot to build towers of stone and beautifully outfitted classrooms, he casts letters in brass and allows his work to be reproduced, disseminated, explicated; he visits mortal bars, and bares himself before Samot’s barbed questions, all of which feels a bit like turning his own skin inside out and hanging it on display for the world to read his soul. Which is to say, of course, that it is unlike anything he has ever felt, and he would lay down his tools and surrender his every creation before letting Samot lose faith in him.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

I don't do a ton of rereading because it leads me down an editing rabbit hole sjdgdf but i have reread many bits of false rings quite a few times because i wanted to keep a degree of continuity and by the time i was on like c6 i had Fully forgotten what i wrote in 2021. sometimes it is good and im pleasantly surprised!!

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

god funnily enough i dont use song lyrics much at all. not a conscious choice but i think my aversion to it comes from the same place as my dislike of quotability used as a measure of writing quality. not a fan of pithy soundbites

but!! the most frequently occurring artists on my samsam playlist are serpentwithfeet, florence and the machine, and the cure (: i did once post and delete (bc it felt underdeveloped, but never fear the same idea got massively elaborated and turned into a flashback in false rings) a samsam fic with title 'i want the sky to fall in' from want by the cure, which is a samot song

#ask game #thank u for asking <33333

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spookfished · 8 months

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kades big media roundup (august)

hiii! like i said in my last post i spent a big portion of august being sick :| which involved spending like a Lot of the time sitting around playing pikmin 4, going "oh i think im thinking so hard about pikmin that its making me more tired?" and then playing more pikmin anyways. i 100%d this game guys it was so serious

books/comics/written media: paladins strength by ursula vernon: this is part of the saints of iron series, but i dont think context from the other books is really needed! romantasy/murder mystery about a nun and a paladin travelling together to the city by chance… they both have their own agendas but something draws them together 0///0 i found this really fun!! may have too much blood and guts for a pure romance fan but its very sort of pragmatic and down to earth in that ursula vernon way. nice dynamic between the leads, had a delightfully creepy (and sad!) antagonist and wrapped up threads from the previous book very nicely. would recommend 👍

in other words by jhumpa lahiri: semi autobiographical literary fiction about a (pulitzer winning) author who decides to move to italy and start writing exclusively in italian. (its translated!) hmmm as someone who also really loves languages but also doesnt really have the resources or desire to do something like. move to a different country (i mean maybe!) and only speak and write in that language from now on (probably not), it was a really interesting perspective. i was sort of put off by her attitude towards bengali but the whole "triangle of languages" theory makes sense… the writer is very straightforward and honest feeling in a way thats almost irritating sometimes but i think thats how a lot of artists are. and the concept alone is still very interesting.. lol anyways its a very short read so id still recommend 👍

the twisted ones by ursula vernon: horror. a woman is tasked with cleaning out her late hoarder grandmothers' house, located in rural north carolina. this was ursula vernons first horror book, i think! i was a little disappointed bc this wasnt very scary, exactly--but i feel like ive also been learning that even if i startle easily, my horror threshhold is actually very high……? i ended up liking what moves the dead more (it was scarier!) but this still had a fun cast of characters. still worth a read though :3 i enjoyed it

dungeon meshi by ryoko kui(catchup): manga about a group of adventurers looking for their lost friend. stuck in the dungeon for months on end, they resort to eating monsters! ohhhhh my god drags down myface dungeon meshi is literally one of the best manga out there and im glad everyone recognizes this. its about desire and need and the way unfulfilled desires is what propels our lives forward and gives them meaning and also how its SUPER IMPORTANT TO GET 3 NUTRITIOUS MEALS AND SLEEP 8 HOURS and all that. lol. phenomenal art i cant help but think that ryoko kui draws women as only a lesbian can..? highly recommend 👍

witch hat atelier by kamome shirahama(catchup): coming of age/fantasy manga--a girl discovers the secret behind the magic that powers her world. she's determined to use it to save her mother, but it may bring a heavy price--or maybe not at all…? like vita nostra (which i read last month!), this is also a book about learning magic that focuses heavily on pedagogy itself (which in this case is also a direct parallel to learning about art/drawing!). however, unlike vita nostra the characters are more like 10-11, and so it also takes a much more gentle and compassionate approach to how we should learn. but it also tackles some really interesting themes about restriction of information, and if said info should be restricted and why! and sort of digging deeper into the idea of "a secret hidden from the normal world". the art is soooo gorgeous i think its all done by hand? looks like a picture book can honestly get a bit overwhelming. highly recommend 👍

bloom into you: f/f manga about a girl who has never fallen in love, and a girl who never wants to be loved. bloom into you is one of those Yuri Classics that i enjoyed a lot as someone who has complicated feelings about romance :3 theres that really interesting quote thats like "love isnt about wanting someone to change or stay the same. when i say 'i love you,' its an expression of faith that even as you change, youll always be the person i adore"….. very interesting! also the sort of idea that you cant 'no true scotsman' love--you can just decide that you love someone, and then you do? kind of? anyways i thought it was pretty interesting :3

beastars: coming of age manga, set in a world kinda like zootopia but if someone thought about it way more. legosi, a large grey wolf struggles with distinguishing between his carnal desires and his, uh, carnivorous desires. ok EYE really liked it but also i think it handles a lot of themes really weirdly… maybe this is because legosi is just really fucking weird (this is definitely part of it) but in many ways beastars portrays the split between men and women as being even more uncrossable than the split between herbivores and carnivores.. which to me was surprising since the manga itself is written by a woman? definitely look up a TW list if youre planning on reading lol. it definitely has some of the best "what if animals lol" worldbuilding out there. i had louis/legosi/haru ot3 in my heart the whole way through LOL but i, uh, dont really think legosi and haru work as a couple just by themselves .. also the gaybait in here is crazy. i think past the midway or maybe 3/4 point it kinda starts to lose focus, but it still had a lot of compelling drama. yayyy louis beastars i think more theater kids should go through unbelievable self-inflicted pain

beast complex: anthology about the surrounding stories of the ppl of beastars. SO fun many people agree that the best part of beastars was the worldbuilding and this was basically all that. very fun :3

surviving romance: horror/adventure? chaerin wants nothing more than to live her fated fairy-tale life--so much so that people other than her love interest appear as nothing more than extras. one day ZOMBIES ATTACK!!!!11! very fun :33 maybe this is just me but is meta stuff getting more popular because of orv…? its not doing it as well ngl but still entertaining. chaerin trying to gain the trust of ppl that she originally didnt gaf about is fun

video games: pikmin 4: pikmin 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a game about being 1 inch tall and controlling your hordes of small creatures (pikmin) to gather things like fruits. i think i bought this when i was sick because i saw a post that was like "pikmin cured my executive function" lol everyone who plays pikmin doesnt fucking shut up about what an indie gem it is but theyre kinda right………pikmin is really good…. its all about finding beauty and joy in the small intricacies of this wide world……i know some people were annoyed by the story parts but i thought it was cute idk :] and oatchi was there . recommend if you like games like starcraft or if you like watching ants carry around a giant caterpillar

movies: farewell my concubine: coming of age/literary/tragedy/historical/??? its a wong kar wai movie. dieyi has nothing in his life but the stage, where he plays as the faithful concubine to a doomed king. his life offstage is much more fraught. i would dearly love to read any articles or things about this movie so if you got anything come find me? ALSO if you have the forbidden cancelled broadway adaption script please let me know. im so curious. ok so its a wong kar wai movie so everyone knows its crazy good already. did watch it when i was sick so not super coherent ideas about it but its like omggggg dieyiii hes so doomed. the way it integrated with history was also interesting (i kinda cant believe someone made a rakugo-based adaptaiton of this. bro it doesnt WORK like that) its really interesting that like dieyis single point of friction between himself and consort yu is his gender.. but that constant emasculation is also what allows him to be so unique in theater and have a special bond w xiaolou.. man well it really was a movie. i want to see it again in a couple months maybe..? its about performance and gender and Performance of Gender and sexuality and cyclical violence and art during a time of strife and art as apolitical and also art as very political. and also a lot of other stuff. very awesome

we are the tigers: thriller musical about a terrible group of cheerleaders coming together for the first meeting of the year. and bad shit happens!!! omg i love girls who kill. and girls who kill each other i dont think this was particularly deep or anything but i enjoyed it :3

nope: horror movie about oj and em, two siblings struggling to keep their stunt horse business running after their father dies. ok well like above its a jordan peele movie so of course its very good. scary as well! i loved the themes… i went back to when ppl were talkingabout the movie to see what people said! ngl i kinda thought jupe was going to have a bigger part in the movie but he was cool as he was. idk it was just very enjoyable and had a lot of things to think about. the idea of spectacle and like.. tragedy-voyeurism are something thats really important to examine closely in times like these i think?

when harry met sally: ROMCOM YAYY about a man and a woman meeting each other across multiple periods of their life. literally one of the only romcoms i can remember my dad openly admit to liking it really deserves the hype. its so heartfelt and sweet and genuinely funny and the character development is so good. its like gay people for straight people

how to lose a man in 10 days: romcom about a guy who thinks he can make any girl fall in love vs a girl who is trying to give the worst dating experience possible. um well it was ok? i only really felt the chemistry between the main leads in a couple of scenes (like when she visits his home) it wasnt really funny or romantic enough..? especially given that most of the humor was predicated on LOL LOOK HOW SHITTY AND CONTROLLING GFS CAN BE which is like ok fine. whatever. idk it was ok

annihilation: horror about a group of scientists who go into a unsettling area to see whats wrong with it.. um well i read the book first and i had heard that this was a pretty good adaptation ? a la howls moving castle book vs movie. i thought it was pretty good? but WAY more focused on the horror stuff than the book, and also (bc its a movie) not really able to focus on the characters interiorities as much..? and also like the way the characters slowly lose it in weird ways and their dynamic frays was one of the cooler parts of annihilation (book) to me. i think at the time having queer characters and characters of color and a cast comprised almost entirely of women was a pretty big deal though i think i heard a lot about it on tumblr lol. its hard not to nitpick on lots of details but i thought it was pretty good overall! a lot of the differences that i didnt like that much made sense as a migration from book->movie--like for example if theyd made the mc as cold and unfeeling it would have been harder to have her be a sympathetic movie protagonist. i thought the infidelity plot w the professor was kind of a timewaster though . anyways still recommend 👍

blue beetle: action movie about a guy whos blue and a beetle. i liked this a surprising amount but i also saw it with friends. the first half of the movie is kinda better than the first also being a tokusatsu fan makes me go "wow this would be so much better if it was with suit actors" lol but the first half of the movie was sooo fun i think also had a really good depiction of a genttrifying city which i enjoyed

oppenheimer: historical drama about that one guy. copy pasting my thoughts from discord: even my dad who liked the movie more was like wow… this movie was kinda too long idk i think it was like technically cool in terms of like imagery and sound and actgin and stuff. but i like wasnt really moved LOL. christopher nolan is playing a little game where i have to recognize as many white men in sequence as possible and im going to be real i can manage maybe like 3? also the whole outer shell plot with strauss and misha collins (EDIT: it was not misha collins) who literally unironically said "youre the god of shadows now" (????) was like. um well this is really intricate but also i dont really care…? like am i supposed to have a stake in this…..? and sort of the intertwining of that story combined w the creation of the atomic bomb was like kinda so-so (my inability to tell faces didnt help w this) it was fine but not really my kind of movie. omg i did like the part with like all the thundering applause and stuff but it blows up there was this part where they kept on being like omg the X incident. all this stuff happened with X and i was like wow what is it….. turns out it was literally referring to a recurring character that i neither remembered nor could recognize. sad

us: horror movie about doubles. YESSS SO FUCKING SCARY i watched this on the airplane to school and the old lady sitting next to me had to watch me hyperventilating and clutching my chest and the whole nine yards. definitely the scariest jordan peele movie. man and the twist at the end was so freaking good. i think its the scariest because the danger is so there, and so immediate, but the beginning part of the movie actually succeeded (for me?) in getting you to be invested in the characters as well. i was wondering if maybe the doubles were also supposed to be connected to like ideas of caricature about black people..? it leaves just enough unanswered that youre still scared. and the questions that do get answered leave you with………THE HORRIFYING TRUTH!! god what a good movie

moonlight: coming of age about a boy who struggles with being black and gay during the crack epidemic of the 80s/90s. < sorry if this isnt a good summary i remember this was a pretty important film when it came out.. i watched part of it a couple years ago and then just remembered to finish this month. its a good movie… you kinda just sit with it yk. hm i (obviously?) dont have a lot of experience with black masculinity but i thought it was interesting how vulnerability can be like taken away from you or you can withhold it from yourself..and that can feel or even be really powerful! but its also like never too late to do that until youre dead. waves my hands around

thanks if you got to the end of this :3 stg ive had like 5 books on loan that ive had on loan for several months by now? idk if ill be able to get to them now (its the beginning of the school year..) but hopefully. i will do that soon. me n neil are sort of planning to get into "film bro movies" were watching the shining soon im very excited. see you later!

#txt

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jumping-joey1104 · 8 months

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Heya, can I get a Creepypasta matchup?

My name's Altair/Al, I'm 19, Bisexual and go by they/them but he/him or she/her works too! I'm 5'7, with black, really choppy (as in kitchen scissors at 3am type choppy) short hair and dark brown (almost black) eyes. My fashion sense is all over the place tbh, but i usually wear the same 3 oversized black band tees all the time along with baggy jeans (that are somehow still too long even when i wear them with 4 inch platforms) and a bunch of random accessories (i fidget with them alot when i'm anxious). 100% an introvert, but I can warm up to people pretty quickly though. Not sure if I think alot before i act lol, i kinda just do whatever comes to mind (and may or may not regret it later), I kinda just laugh at any bad situations that comes my way (and panic about them internally). I draw in my free time, also tried to play the guitar at some point, and spent way too many hours googling random facts on the internet (usually about animals and human biology). My favorite genres of music are emo, 80s rock and some metal, but im always down for any other genres aswell. I also have a very... questionable, sleep schedule, I either sleep at 8pm and wake up at 4am, or sleep at 4am and wake up at 1pm. I also have 2 cats (Lizard and Tangerine) and a dog (Shortie). Not really the most physically affectionate person but my friends told me i give nice hugs lol.

-Thank u for your time <3

Alright alright! This one was a bit difficult to do but I have come to a decision! No I did not spend all night looking through old wikis and forgetting about my ask box

ZERO!

FRIENDSHIP

Zero is not that well known in the mansion, she's much more abrasive and rude than the rest of the female creeps

But one night she walks in on you cutting your hair with scissors over a sink and something just clicked

Definitely seems like the opposite of you sometimes, but you'd be the first friend she had in a long time

So be prepared for her to be the overprotective extrovert of your friendship

She's probably steal your accessories all the time, but with her being color blind (Monochromacy) she can't tell if they match her outfit

Be prepared to see her in her normal black and white stripes with jarring colored accessories

God help anyone that is slightly mean to you because she'll destroy them mentally

She'd probably ask you to help her with pranks at some point, but know that her pranks often go too far

She's not that physical either, given her upbringing in a bad home and the bullying

However she loves your laid back personality and how you react to things, thinks it's funny in an endearing way

She doesn't sleep... only passing out when she gets way too tired, so she'll stay awake with you the moment you say you cant sleep

She's never had pets so she's a bit nervous that your cats wont like her and tries to stay away from them

DATING

During dating Zero is much kinder, she's still got a bit of Alice in her even after taking over so she has the fear that it's all some joke to be played on her

Constant gifts, you'll find new boots and accessories all the time from her just giving them to you

Although she can't tell the difference between light pink and a light grey so heads up

If she sees you with one of the gifts she gets ecstatic, a ton of compliments and attention

The thought that you actually like her enough to wear the things she gets for you makes her knees weak

She's only had one person really care for her like you do so she's even more protective now

If she sees someone talking to you in a slightly flirty tone or a mean tone there will be a glare down from her

This is when she becomes more affectionate to you please give her a hug she needs it but is still a bit wary with it

Cuddles with her are top tier, she will not let go and makes sure you're comfortable with pillows and blankets

Zero will listen to every weird fact you tell her, yeah she'd make fun of it every once in a while but never interrupts you when talking about weird things you found on the internet

She'll start warming up to your pets, passing out whenever they come snuggle up to her

This is how she finds out she's a dog person, your poor dog will also be just as spoiled as you

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta matchup #zero creepypasta #matchup request #matchups #Zero needs more attention ;-;

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notahorseindisguise · 2 years

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HELLO????? /SO POS

god i loved that btw. i owe you my life

(this ask is about my creepy eldritch horror story)

fun fact, that really was not a work of fiction. like, if it were i would happily admit it and take credit for being that creative *consciously*, but nope that was all my subconscious in my dreams when i was a child.

i had some really weird dreams when i was a kid, some of the scarier ones are just so impossible to put into words, to describe. i cant even picture them now.

one of them, i remember, was a huge maze. a maze of an impossible, cosmic scale. there was no sky. i dont mean it was covered, or that it was black, or white, or grey, or anything, i mean literally nothing was up. i didnt look up much. it hurt my eyes.

like most dreams, these ones didnt really have a beginning, or an end. i would just fall asleep, then open my eyes, and i was trapped. the sheer size making me feel insignificant.

i would go throw this huge maze. for whatever reason, the maze felt like it should've been really short. like, yeah, its big, but surely i can just walk through it in like. a couple hours at most, right?

i had no sense of time in there, but i know i spent years in the maze. time moved differently in that dream. obviously i would wake up and only a couple hours passed, but i know i spent years in there. at least 3 or 4 years every night, going down the wrong paths, backtracking, getting lost... i never got hungry, never got sick, never got tired; just got more and more insignificant, dwarfed by those huge walls.

most nights i was all alone. a couple times i found someone else, but then they would vanish. it happened in different ways each time. one time i found someone, i sat with her, and talked to her for a bit, before... i dont know how to explain it. but i stood up, turned around, and walked away. every part of my body screamed to go back, but i couldnt turn around, despite how lucid these dreams normally were.

id been alone in there for years it felt, and i had finally found someone else, and i just walked around 20 paces away. and then there was a noise, like something cutting through wind, and then i had control over myself again. turning around, the person was gone, and no trace of her ever existing was left. they all disappeared in different ways - one time i blinked and they were gone, one time i was walking up before i sort of, for want of a better word, "glitched" backwards a couple metres, and they were gone - but each time three things were the same.

there was this loss of control, where i couldnt move for myself

there was a rush of wind, not one i felt, but one i heard, like a thrown frisbee or something, that went as quickly as it came

i never saw what happened to them.

i aged in these dreams. it was the imagination of a child, so i dont think i aged like a normal person would age, but each painfully long night i would age a couple of years, getting older, stronger, more adjusted to the maze.

this dream, i dont know if im doing it justice, because it is so difficult to remember. i just remember the feeling of insignificance in the face of the huge maze.

im gonna try to stop explaining the scenery of the dream, and finish up this story with how the recurring dream finished up for me.

i was old. i don't know how old, but i know moving was a torture in and of itself. and this night, everything was different. i kept going, i kept pushing through the maze. i rounded a corner, and saw freedom. i saw my freedom. i started to run as fast as i could towards it, keeping close to the wall for support. lucky i did that because i did fall. and there i sat. directly opposite what i knew was the end of the maze. i sat there, staring at the exit, staring at my freedom, and i thought... thats fine. next time i have this dream ill finally see whats out there.

i never did though.

that night, someone found me. i dont know his name, i dont know anything about him. but he came up and he was standing right in front of me. i tried to tell him to turn around, but my throat closed up. i couldnt move. i couldnt point. and he just stood there until i realised he was talking. i heard him ask if i was ok, and all i could say was "y-yes."

this poor boy, he didnt know how close he was to his freedom. but i did. but i also saw the walls extending, growing, laughing at us as the exit disappeared, and then i realised there is no way i could ever leave this maze.

as the walls grew further, i felt whatever was stopping my talking let go, and i heard my own raspy voice say "turn around". he looked at me, puzzled, before he did so. only then did i realize my mistake.

he turned around. he started walking away. i felt more terror in that moment then i had felt in my entire life, but i couldnt scream. at least id finally find out what happened to the people i met.

the sky, the sky which wasnt a sky, the endless void above us which just by looking into i could tell was nothing and could never be something, the overseer of this unending maze... with a hand that did not exist, it reached down, and with a mouth that was not a mouth, it swallowed me. it did not reach down and it did not swallow me, but perhaps those are the closest approximations for whatever it did to me.

as i was lifted into the endless abyss, i saw it grinning, and swiveling my head, i saw the maze reflecting that same grin.

i dont know what happened to me up there.

i woke up, and i never had that dream again.

*****

i dont think this one is as scary as the other one when written down, but just the feeling of the mazes hugeness and my smallness... that was enough to heavily terrify me as a child, in a way i cant put into words.

thanks for reading!

#corntent #i have one more horror nightmare #but its not as scary?#and writing down things in a way which is both accurate to an ever shifting and twisting and inhuman dreamscape #and also enjoyable and fun to read #is very difficult #so maybe in a couple months time ill try to do my last one #cosmic horror #horror #nightmare #eldritch horror #if this were a magnus archives entity it would be the vast i think #that is all!

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momiamtired · 1 month

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chapter 2 so they think im cringe. i will never be able to see my friends bc i will be able to leve canada onlt after 4 years bc of this stupid and random biometrics shit and i had only chance of meeting them this summer but now its all pointless bc of a random canada government decision. i want to pee so bad and this stupid american bitch is washing her ass for 2348493 hours with stupid pop childish music in the background gosh. i lost 700 dollars recently idk where or how i genuanly dont know its prob my roommate but im not sure so basically yeah and im reallt sensitive about losing money so yesterday was a fun day to me. my stupid mind is doing some crazy shit and tries to convince me to believe in karma or god idk basically its if i will think that everything will be bad then everything will be good but i should genuanly believe it all will be bad and i just go back n forth with this idea always going on on my minds. i have a couple of different templates of how this world from my mind' perspective works but im too tired to think ab it. ig every time i think that its just what it is its just how wolrd is and nobody is giving me a happy time after all of this is over as my mind always tries to constantly tell me i guess its just too painful for me. i want to believe that i will be happy in a short time. i want too. but every day i wake up and some awful shit happens to me. its awful to be extraverted and i dont have friends here. i hate this fucking bitch PLEASE leve i want to use toilet wtf is wrong with u. pleeeeaseee im all sweaty npw bc of how i want to pee. i noticed that they wash themselves so rarely here. idk why my roommate smells just awful and she is 22 and she never washes herself so at night when i have troubles sleeping i also need to smell her beatiful aromas and im gonna be silent ab her mouth like she never washes her teeth how can u have so many man and smell so awful and be so nasty. anyways i dont reallt know what to do? i lost my motivation to even live( but not to eatt i will never lose it i have ed) i just dont want to do anything to see anything to feel anything i just want to die and be reborn. i dont believe in reincarnation but being able to not feel anything is better than living how i live now. i never cry but i cry here really often. like a couple of times per weak? i never cry literally never. that bc my coping mechanism is trying to find a decision and i will fucking find this decision even if im gonna die but rn there is no decision there is nothing there is just finnish studying than good luck to being lucky for finding a place to live and a job and if u wont find a placce to stay u will have to sleep on a bed with a roommate who washes herself once per weak and stole ur only money. and even now my mind is trying to say to me that i will be fine and the situation will be better! but fuck u it wont be better and i know it because there is no fucking hope left here there is literallt nothing left no fucking move will make it better NOTHING will make it better. im a fucking psychology major wtf is wrong with me. i just cant believe how cruel the life is and how awful it is and how i just couldnt ever think it could get that bad. its just all of my failures they are so random and its not even my fault in any of those! and as i told u my mind again tries justify everything that is happening to me like no just think ab it!! no way it can be this awful right? no way this all could happen to u just like this and without a happy ending! yes it can and yes it happened and im tired of expecting something good to happen to me i just want to die pls why do i have parennts it would be so much easier. i would love to leave this hell and so study to europe but we already spent SO much money on only this first semester so i cant even imagine how can i justify going back home in my head, in front of my relatives. i hate myself

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stephy-gold · 9 months

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4 am really?????

Unremarkable house. Sunday 4 am. Scully and Mulder where in bed when the phone rang, groggily Mulder answer. “Mulderr” (answer slurred more sleep than awake)

“Sorry for bother you sir but we have your son in the police station for drinking while driving and surpassing speed limits”

“HE WATH???????” Mulder shout rising from the bed. “Mulder WTF I’m sleeping” “what happened to William?” Scully asked rising from the bed. Mulder was all over the place getting dressed to pick up his irresponsible 16 years old son from the police station *two FBI parents and he behave like this, really amazing this kid* he thought. “MULDER WHERE IS WILLIAM?????” Scully asked from the bathroom getting herself ready for whatever happened. Mulder stood in front of her “Our son is at the police station…”. Scully “why? Did someone hurt him?? He’s been followed??”. Mulder massaging his knots formed by the stress “None of that; as i was saying…. He’s been detained for speed limit and driving drunk FOR GODS SAKE, but he’s fine on top of everything” Mulder was furious for various reasons 1st his son who’s supposedly was studying at his best friend house where actually drinking with who knows who and then taken to the station because he had the great idea of driving while being drunk; 2nd it’s 4 freaking in the morning on a Sunday *great timing kid*. Scully was obviously worried sick and also furious at her son for being so stupid

At the police department station. 5 am

“Hi we are looking for William Scully-Mulder, he’s our son” Scully tell the receptionist “oh yeah the drunk kid?”. “That’s right” Scully tone was increasingly angry while Mulder was more annoyed because of the hour (long gone where the days when they, he particularly, spent the whole night chasing leads, on steakes, discussing a case or, she, doing autopsies in the middle of the night with only a half bagel with fake cream cheese 🥯 in the stomach; they’re older now and obviously not the same) “can we see him?”. *Will escorted by an officer go to his parents, clearly less drunk, “fuck” he said under his breath*

“Since it’s the kid first strike and seeing that you two are FBI agents and to our understanding capable of manage the situation we won’t take your car Mrs. Mulder so you’ll just have to pay the ticket” the officer seemed tired and thank god for that. “Thank you officer we really appreciate it” Mulder took hold of his son and walk away to the parking lot to Mulder’s mid life crisis car while Scully took hers.

unremarkable house 6 am

“REALLY!!!!!!! WILLIAM SCULLY MULDER. What in hell where you thinking????” You could see the anger in Scully by her coloring; Will start to head to his room but Mulder block the stairs “None of that William”

“Sure. Fine. Whatever folks” William said slurring a little “I’m going to bed so you can save the speech “you are the son of FBI agents” for later along whit “we’re disappointed. Yadda yadda yadda. Night” he push Mulder a little and run to his room locking himself “NIGHT”

“I swear Scully one day he’ll give me a heart attack and it’s really not that far” sitting in the coach embracing “tomorrow we’ll talk to him and obviously he can forget about the parties, video games and obviously the car; okay Mulder?” “Yes honey, what do you think about getting out the stress?” “Im up for it”.

#txf #dana scully #fox mulder #the x files #AU William is a problematic teen #x-files revival #Mid life characters #fanfic #msr parents #today in fic

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