#when page 3 rolled around i hated myself so much cuz why did i think it was a great idea to

[old-desert]

Getting in touch

Made for an art trade with a friend <3

#isat #in stars and time #sifloop #isat siffrin #siffrin isat #loop isat #isat loop #human loop #my art #art tag #desert art #two virgins trying to touch each other: the comic #the incredible selfcest of mirroring panels #me when drafting the panels: suddenly. there's 4 pages. help #the drawing process went something like: “i hate this” “i love this” “i hate this” “i love this” #when page 3 rolled around i hated myself so much cuz why did i think it was a great idea to #compose a page almost entirely of hands #but i think i did well in the end #this is just some sweet sifloop comedy fluff #isat spoilers

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

I Taste Honey but I Haven’t Seen the Hive - Chapter Seven

Ao3,   Masterpost,  C.1   C.2   C.3   C.4   C.5   C.6

Relationships: eventual queer-platonic intruality, platonic dlampr.

okay. so. last time we heard anything out of me was *New Years*, Literally, and maybe i should’ve mentioned that I was taking a little hiatus, but oh well. i’m back now and i’m gonna post the last three chapters of this fanfiction as soon as I possibly can (so probably like all of them will be up by tmrw at the latest!!) to make up for my absence. but jokes on you, cuz I did actually finish this thing!!! >:P 

(oh yeah, and there are no italics, thanks to tumblr’s copy/paste bulls//t. i continue to be lazy :3 if anything sounds stilted just imagine that theres an italicized word there and yeah.)

Warnings: cursing, sexual innuendo, discussions of sexuality, misunderstandings, Emotional Conversations, sharing a bed, mild body horror (remus’ existence lol), stress, h/c. 

Word count: 7,967

The hallway was cold, and dark. It had been long-since abandoned of any life, with every door shut and each light dimmed- even Virgil’s. That day- the day of the meeting- had exhausted everyone enough to send them right to sleep mode. 

Everyone except Remus and Patton.

Their heart-to-heart in the kitchen had dragged on a little longer than either had expected, letting night descend fully over the Mindpalace. Patton was the one to notice the time eventually, and drag his less-than-restful friend up the stairs with him- he could tell that the other was dead tired, though. His stubborn determination not to end the conversation didn’t sit well, but Patton couldn’t think what to make of it, and they really did need some sleep. 

They reached Patton’s door first. He stopped in front of it, when Remus tugged his hand back insistently. He turned to him, letting out a confused hum, and was met with a scowl and a sigh.

Remus was looking even more resigned than he had when they first started talking that night. Patton waited, worried. 

“This isn’t, um,” Remus exhaled, ragged around the edges. “This isn’t a pick-up line, okay, and I know that it’ll sound that way and I know that it’s me but. I really don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

Oh. 

Patton’s heart ached- and his heart was big, it took up most of him. He felt the pain spread out from his center and into his fingertips and toes, hot and empathetic. Because how could he hear something like that, and not want to spend the rest of the night doting on the creature in front of him until that voice never sounded so small again, till he was as big and confident as he was meant to be?

“I don’t think I want to be alone, either,” Patton said.

Remus stared, his big scarlet eyes casting a faint glow in the dark. They were wide, cautiously hopeful.

“Yeah?” He muttered.

“Yeah.”

Patton opened the door, and led them both inside.

Remus shuffled around on the other side of the bed, but Patton was still, however much he wanted to squirm.

“Um.”

The movement stopped, and he flushed at the feeling of being watched in the dark. There really was no un-awkward way to say it, was there?

“Remus, since you’re staying, do you- um, do you mind doing me a favor?” 

Remus, little more than a silhouette, propped himself up on his elbow, a tilt to his head. “A favor? Of course, anything for you, Pat,” his words were a purr, and Patton could envision the suggestive smirk on his face in perfect clarity. Patton felt another well of discomfort bubble in his stomach.

“Could you at least wear some clothes, please?” 

There was a beat. Remus laughed, short and good-natured. 

“Yeah, I sorta figured I would. It’s no problem.”

“Thank you,” Patton sighed, relieved. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he paused, and that really would’ve been the end of it, but Patton had learned by then when Remus was about to make a joke. He took a little breath while the words were still clicking together in his head, and a grin crept into his voice. “There’s always tomorrow night to try this clothesless, eh?”

“I’m asexual,” Patton blurted, and he could feel the heat radiating from his face, though he didn’t even know why he was so uncomfortable. It was a joke, Remus was just joking. They were friends and Patton should’ve been used to it- but he’d already gotten so sensitive that night, and jokes like that always hit just a little different than the violent ones or the curses. It must have been a breaking point, or something. 

Remus shifted again, laying on his back. Patton wondered if he’d made things awkward. 

“Oh,” Remus said, “Oh wow, that makes so much sense!”

“It- It does?” Patton sat up, staring at the other with a mix of surprise and relief. Remus blinked up at him, nodding. 

“Well, yeah, that explains why you get so squirmy whenever anybody even implies something to do with sex. I always thought you were just, like, a prude.”

Patton ran his hands over the comforter that pooled around his legs, shrugging. He wasn’t nervous, so much as he was fidgety. “Well, maybe it was some of that, too,” he joked. 

Remus snorted, rolling onto his side and catching one of Patton’s hands in his own. He held it, playing with Patton’s fingers like he was trying to focus. 

“Hey,” he sighed, heavy, “Sorry.”

“Huh? What for?”

“C’mon, you know,” Remus gestured around with his free hand, “All the jokes, and all the times I hit on you, like, graphically. I was kidding, obviously, it was just that you always had the best reactions. If I’d known why, I mean. I don’t know if I’d have actually stopped, but whatever. Different time, different me. I’m stopping now, kay?”

Patton’s eyes went wide. He hadn’t- He wasn’t trying to make Remus stop, that wasn’t fair. He knew how important staying true to himself was to Remus, and if he’d actually managed to guilt-trip any of that away, he didn’t think he’d forgive himself.

“Oh, it’s really okay, I mean- I know you like talking about stuff like that, who am I to say you shouldn’t?”

“You never said that, actually.”

Patton nodded, even if Remus couldn’t see him, and even if he was pretty sure they were on different pages. “Exactly. You shouldn’t go changing just to make me comfortable, I’ll get used to the jokes! I guess I just wanted to know that they were, which, obviously yeah, but… um, I’m bad with knowing what tone is which, sometimes, so-”

“Ugh, Patton,” Remus was laughing, leaning up and grasping tighter around Patton’s hand, with a tone that said plainly: please shut up. Patton did, biting the inside of his cheek. “Look,” Remus huffed, “I know what you’re trying to say, and it’s real sweet that you’re so worried about this, but it’s not exactly like I’m telling you that I’m reinventing myself. I’ll definitely keep saying plenty of horny shit, trust me, I can just drop it with the comments about ya. It wouldn’t even be funny anymore; fucking with people is cool, right, but making someone I actually like feel ‘icky’, or whatever, isn’t really the same thing. It’s no big sacrifice trying to make you feel safer with me, got it?”

Remus’ eyes were on his, glowing with concern. Patton felt his face flush for an entirely new reason, nothing to do with embarrassment.

“You want to make me feel safe?” Patton grinned, just this side of giddy. “That’s a new one.”

Remus made a vague grumbly sound; it shouldn’t have been as cute as it was. “Yeah, okay, so what if I do?”

“It’s okay if you do. It’s sweet.”

“Maybe it is. Besides, you aren’t the only aspec side around,” he shrugged, “I’m not too big on the dating side of things, myself.”

Patton’s smile widened. “Thank you. I mean, for understanding, and… getting me out of my own head about all this.”

“I gotcha,” a claw traced over Patton’s knuckles, idly, “No need for thanks.”

“I’ll give it anyway, you know that.”

Remus snorted. “Mhmmm.”

With the remains of embarrassment finally fading away, Patton yawned, and remembered just how tired he was. He laid himself down finally, relaxing as his back hit the mattress. No sooner after he’d done so, Remus was letting go of his hand in favor of curling around him and setting his head on Patton’s chest. 

Patton would be lying if he said it wasn’t a relief, feeling the other unhesitant to curl up against him still. He looped his own arms around the smaller figure, practically on top of him, and traced patterns against Remus’ back. 

In hindsight, Patton couldn’t remember ever falling asleep so easily. 

The morning after, there was a crisis. A Thomas-crisis, and an emotional one, which set Patton up for a busy, busy day (or morning-through-afternoon, but it was well more than enough work for one day). The one upside to the whole mess was that he didn’t have to deal with it alone, because emotional distress fell neatly into Virgil’s area of expertise as well as his own.

At some point, you’d think they’d get numb to the endless dilemmas every other day, but with each new outing it got clearer and clearer that panic was just a part of life. Most weeks had at least one incident; there would be a mistake at the post office that needed to be worked out in person (which Patton didn’t mind, really, but Virgil hated, and Roman thought was a waste of time), there was an event for a friend of a friend that for some reason they were socially obligated to go to (which no one liked but Roman, who always thought they were one person away from being ‘discovered’), or- the present situation- there were pre-established plans that all the sides had somehow forgotten about until they were shoved into it at the last second.

Patton jolted awake with a gasp, the urgency of his human throwing him out of sleep. It was a full two hours later than he usually woke up, something he would’ve loved to appreciate on any other day. His bed was already empty- the warmth of another person still there, the covers still scrunched, but empty- which did serve to make his morning routine quicker. He dressed with a fervor that he couldn’t even place, manic exhaustion already soaking into him and making plans to stay there all day. It was going to be a rough one, being around people. 

But, Patton knew it wouldn’t be hard to ignore all that, for a little bit at least. There was still a bright side, and that side was Virgil! Who he got to spend all day with! Working, sure, but still- work done with a loved one is never work at all.

“Yeah, I don’t know if that rings true, Pat,” was Virgil’s response to the sentiment, when Patton told him.

“You’re smiling,” Patton said, because he was.

“What?” Virgil covered his mouth, “No, I’m not- shut up.” 

“You believe me, I know you do. You looove me.”

“Says you,” his mouth may have been covered, but the crows feet under his eyes creased more. His shoulders were just a little less tense, too, enough to tell Patton he was right. 

That morning wasn’t great, but, they made it better.

Remus had woken up in a lot of places that were decisively not his bed. The floor? Sure. The imagination? Oh, absolutely. Underneath furniture, on top of furniture, and on counters- anywhere lie-down-able, been there and done that. Just for the fun of it, really, and a nice shock to whoever found him curled up in the sink or beneath cabinets. He was used to a crick in the neck or a splotch of red, rough carpet print on the side of the face. 

So he didn’t really know why, waking up in someone else’s bed, he jolted out of it so quick, he looked like he’d been electrocuted. Or why, after scrambling out of Patton’s arms with whatever carefulness he could manage, he bolted from the scene entirely.

Remus began the slow process of piecing it together after he all but slammed the door behind him, trembling and cursing his way down the hall. He dragged away from Patton’s room and let his back hit the wall, sliding to the floor with a kind of hysteria he could only describe as itchy-vomity-terrifying-amazing. 

He did itch at his skin, he was feeling a bit sick, a bit scared, but he thought he might’ve been grinning anyway, so the description fit well enough. Except, nothing was fitting actually well, right then.

The closeness. The attention. The fact that he’d spent eight hours of sleep getting a full dosage of both those things. The fact that it had been more of both of them than he could remember getting, ever. Of course he’d scrambled away- how else could he react!?

Remus didn’t get overwhelmed. Except, apparently he did! What another fun surprise!

A door creaked open down the hall (thank God not Patton’s). Remus felt the eyes on him, and looked up- manically, he looked well and truly manic.

Logan blinked at him. He looked a lot like an owl in the mornings, Remus noted. One of those smart ones, obviously, not one of the ones that fucks around counting licks on a lollipop. 

Logan cleared his throat. 

“Remus? Is everything alright?” 

Remus shrugged, grinning. “Maybe! Who knows, though, right? It’s a lot, you know?”

Logan did not know, and said as much. Remus only laughed, letting his head hit back against the wall in the process.

He still felt warm, inside and out, after all that cuddling. It was weird, good-weird, but still so new. And, like he said, a lot. He’d felt that kind of warmth before, but definitely not as much- and he knew he needed to distract himself before he went crazy. Or, before his rattrap of a brain ruined the maybe-possibly good feelings for him. 

“Hey, any chance you’re busy today?”

Logan hovered in his doorway for a minute before ultimately deciding to step out, probably determining the interaction as a prolonged one. He didn’t look too put-off about it, though.

“A very high chance,” he said, “But for now I am not. Is there something you need?”

“A distraction.”

“Ah.”

“So, you up for it?” Remus pulled himself up from the floor, popping a few joints. “At least for the morning, yeah, Geek?” 

“Of course,” he smirked, “Provided you can call me by actual name at least once in this conversation.” 

Remus grinned, probably coming off more relieved than he intended. “Eh, we’ll see about that one, Dweeb.”

Logan met him halfway down the hall, not looking at all surprised by the response. He looked, if anything, amused. Remus found himself remembering very abruptly that the two of them got along, were probably friends, and somehow that fact was still novel to him. Or maybe it was the mood. Probably both.

“Well, it was worth a try,” Logan reasoned.

“Oh, sure.”

“What were you thinking we should do, anyway?”

Remus raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m afraid that’s off the table,” Logan told him.

“Aw, fine. Surprise me, then.”

“That will be hard.”

Remus laughed, unsteady and shrill.

“C’mon, I know you’ve got it in ya.” 

Logan smiled, just-nearly-almost mischievous. “Well. I’ll see what I can do.” 

And for just a second, some of the panic slipped away, leaving behind that strange warmth. 

Patton didn’t exactly let Janus know he was coming by. It had been a long day- or, a long five hour period between ten in the morning and three in the afternoon, but still, the idea that there was any day left at all made Patton want to melt into the nearest soft object and never get up. 

When Patton needed to melt, he went to Janus’. Maybe it was the big armchairs; maybe it was the comforting, gooey little white-lies that soaked the atmosphere of his room; maybe it was the fact that his voice was so very easy to fall asleep to. Most likely, at least part of it was because he always seemed to enjoy taking care of people, anyway. 

It was a nice combination, and exactly what was needed. Patton could apologize for not knocking later, ideally when he wasn’t falling asleep where he stood. 

“Janusss,” he groaned, by way of greeting, and promptly collapsed onto the nearest soft surface while the door swung shut behind him. 

Janus blinked at him from across the room, surprise lasting for approximately three seconds. He turned around, and sighed.

“Well, hello to you, too.”

Patton hummed, drearily.

“You look cheery,” Janus quipped, “Anything you’d like to talk about?” 

The question was spoken lightly, but not insincere. Patton lifted his head enough to smile tiredly at the snake. He shrugged, for the room was working it's magic already, as was the easy company to be found there. Stress was easing away, in small bits, evaporating into warm shimmers under his skin. He had no doubt that Janus was doing some of it on purpose, as soon as he’d noticed the mood Patton was in, giving him a blanket of speckled reassurances (which were, as Janus insisted to him time and time again, just a tiny, harmless breed of pleasant lies) in an almost-literal way. 

Most things about the sides’ rooms were like that. Almost-literal; concepts that crept their way into the physical world, if only slightly. Janus was the best at those kinds of things, though. 

“’S just been a tiring day, y’know?” 

Janus sat beside him, toying with some spare yellow strings, weaving and unweaving them almost carelessly. “I do.”

“A tiring night, too,” Patton added, an afterthought, but he found as he said so that it was true. Long in a good way. An impactful way. It felt like something important had happened, something that changed, but he didn't quite know what. It was still just as draining, though.

Janus raised an eyebrow, but he did not pry (even if he most likely wanted to).“So, you’ve come here.”

“Do you mind if I just rest in here for a bit?” He said, as he’d already gotten quite comfortable.

“Why don’t I do you one better?”

Patton hummed confusedly, but Janus had already begun urging him to sit up. The snake waved a hand, filling the room with light, swirling piano music. At once the air seemed to grow fuzzy, spicks and specks of what looked like golden glitter floating around- not unlike from the distortion Patton’s own room gave him when he was happy. Janus smiled down at him, summoning a neat little tea set on a tray and fixing them each a cup of the swirling, caramel-colored liquid. 

Patton sighed happily, taking the teacup he was proffered and thanking the lord for whatever he’d done to deserve a friend like Janus. 

Janus sat beside him, balancing the tea tray on an end table, and let their shoulders bump. He wasn’t a touchy person, exactly, but he allowed for a conservative amount of casual intimacy. Occasionally, and in an unspoken way, but still.

The atmosphere had exactly the intended effect. Patton felt paradisiacal. 

“Gosh, what would any of us do without you?” 

Janus hummed. “You’d most certainly perish.”

Patton laughed, his chest lighter already. 

Remus felt good for about ten seconds after leaving Logan’s room and letting the guy get to work, fresh off the good morning he’d had. Then, very promptly, the weight that the remaining hours of daylight carried dropped onto his shoulders, and he would’ve been perfectly willing to claw his brain out to get a moment of reprieve from the whole barrage of irrational terror worming around in it.

Remus didn’t know why it was so bad that day (well- he had a guess, but thinking about it obviously made it suck worse, so). What he did know was that he needed someone to keep fucking distracting him, and that someone could under no circumstances be Patton.

Luckily, avoiding him wasn’t hard- he was still busy, and Remus had a feeling he’d need a rest once Thomas’ crisis was over, anyway- but that didn’t do much to solve the other half of Remus’ problem.

He needed something big, loud, and most importantly, not solo. He needed someone that could take up a whole room just as easily as himself, with endless energy to bounce back and forth, back and forth, until neither of them would ever worry about anything other than the moment and whatever it was they would do together… 

Oh, god fucking dammit. 

Remus sunk out to the Imagination. No, not his. The opposite half.

He rose up into more than a blank canvas, but less than a finished work; a vibrant world with gaps and white spots. He might’ve taken the time to look around, but- unsurprisingly- his brother was in front of him, accosting him, immediately. Seriously, it was like he’d teleported. 

“What are you doing here?” Roman snapped, his hands, still splattered with ink, landing on his hips. 

“Aw, so now I’m not even allowed to visit my own flesh and blood, and other various parts?” 

Roman scrunched his nose up. “No, you aren’t allowed. This is my room!”

Remus- as he always did when someone said he couldn’t do something- cackled. 

“I’m serious!” Roman whined, “I’m busy!”

Now, he said that, but Remus knew from personal experience that if Roman wanted him gone, he could’ve forced him out without too much issue- or worse yet, attacked him outright. He didn’t seem to be about to spring, though, not looking any worse than annoyed, so Remus happily decided that this interaction fell into the normal-and-healthy-sibling-bickering category instead of the unfortunately familiar would-genuinely-commit-fratricide-if-possible category. 

He grinned. “Yeah, and I’m bored!”

“Not my problem, and you’re still in my room.” 

“What, worried I’ll gunk up all your magic ponies and Yellow Brick Roads, or whatever it is you like to play with around here?”

“Yes, I am!” Roman scowled, but it looked a lot like he was straining his jaw not to laugh. “And you know I don’t make those, you fiend, I made a unicorn once and that was only because Logan wanted one.”

“You’re shitting me if you say that you weren’t the kid who always wanted a pony, Ro.”

“Well, how’s a pony any better than a thestral, which I seem to remember someone getting all excited about when we first read the-books-that-shall-not-be-named?”

“Ooh! Good idea, we should abso-fucking-lutely make those!” Remus wandered past his brother, looking around at the half-finished scene that he’d walked in on. It was sunny, pleasant- all around very vanilla, but there was at least a sense of adventure thrumming under it that gave the place a kick. With some work, it could actually be, like, fun! “Ever see somebody die? Don’t worry, I can help with that.”

Roman turned to him, looking hilariously incredulous with what was happening.

“Um? Excuse me? This is my domain,” he blinked, and a smug smirk crossed his lips. “Which means that you don’t have the power to make anything here! So, ha!”

Oh, right. That made a lot of sense, actually. How had he forgotten that? It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d tried to make something with his brother, right? 

…Wow. That had no business hurting as much as it did.

“Uh- Remus?” 

His head snapped up, a smile with too-many teeth already strained across his face. Remus’ head was scattered enough, coming here wasn’t supposed to make it worse.

“Sure, okay- there’s gotta be some way for us to build stuff together!” 

Roman stared appraisingly at his sibling, apparently thinking before he argued for the one and only time in his life. He tilted his head in confusion, perhaps worry. 

“I- well-” Roman glanced at what he’d been making, and down at his hands. “I’m sure I could, perhaps, let you have power here. Just this once.” He huffed. “It’s my room, right? So there’s no reason why I couldn’t do that, if I wanted.”

“Do you?” 

“Ugh.” Roman rolled his eyes, perfunctorily. “Fine. I don’t know what’s up with you, but I’d rather you be your normal weird-self than… whatever this is,” Roman stuck his hand out, his chin raised like it was a challenge. “Good?”

Remus grabbed his hand (and did not buzzer him, or slime him, even though it would have been so easy- because they were having A Moment and even he could appreciate the sanctity of something like that). 

“Yeah,” he said. “We’re good.”

Roman, as it turned out, was able to tolerate Remus for a whopping six hours, right up until five p.m., and only shooed him away in order to finish the project that he’d more-or-less happily dropped when Remus stopped by. So Roman wasn’t the worst brother in the world, Remus acknowledged. He then resolved to never, under any circumstances, say that to Roman’s face. 

The door to the Imagination shut with a click. The sound matched almost perfectly with another, sharper one down the hall, what Remus recognized as Janus’ door closing. He glanced up with a grin, wondering if he could maybe get Snakey to distract him for a while- only to lock eyes with precisely what he needed distracting from.

Patton smiled at him. He looked tired, relaxed, and raised a hand in some semblance of a wave. It would probably be a great opportunity to unwind together, talk stuff out, and definitely curl into each other on the couch.

Remus wasn’t going to take that opportunity, though.

Remus stared back at Patton for all of three seconds, the grin sliding off his face, before barging through the nearest door and slamming it behind himself. 

Shit. Fuck. What the hell did he do that for? It was just Patton, Remus knew Patton; there was no reason to be jittery enough to bolt from him twice. There was no way Patton wouldn’t think he was mad- which he wasn’t, even if he barely understood why he was losing it, he knew it wasn’t anger. But Patton wouldn’t know that, and he’d cry, probably, and Remus wasn’t sure if he was good enough at comforting people to fix it after. Christ, maybe he couldn’t fix it, maybe he’d still be too keyed up to talk to Pat, even if he started bawling! 

“Hey? What the fuck?”

Remus spun around, and yeah, he could’ve guessed whose room he ended up in without the gravelly voice to give it away, given that little spiral. A surprised-looking Virgil stared up at him, sitting cross-legged on a spiderweb bedspread. 

Remus ignored the thin layer of anxiety still rolling under his skin (now that he could place it), and shrugged, sliding until he sat on the floor.

“Oh, hi,” he said.

“Yeah, hi to you too, but my question still stands:” Virgil clapped his hands together, “What. The fuck?” 

Remus considered a few possible snarky responses, but found that most of them were pretty pathetic. Besides, evading vulnerable situations was more of Janus’ thing, and Remus didn’t want to steal his bit. 

“I’m hiding like a little bitch, so don’t kick me out, or I’ll maul you.”

Virgil’s eyebrows went up, but the surprise in his face was being replaced, slowly, by confused resignation. “Okay, cool. Why here, and why me?”

“First door.”

“Yeah, that’s about my luck,” he blew his bangs out of his face, “So like, you’re not gonna go anywhere else?”

Remus thought about it, but it was an easy choice. If he was gonna whine to anybody about something like this, he decided, it’d probably be Virgil. Virgil was good with fear, he was good with Patton, and he was good at making fun of shit if a conversation got too serious. 

“Nah. Sorry, Emo Boy, but I’ve already annoyed Logan and my dipshit brother today. Looks like it’s your turn!”

“What about Janus?”

“Eh, he’s a live-in therapist for the rest of you already. I think I’ll give him the day off.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, sighing with all the exasperation of a teenage burnout and not a thirty-year-old metaphysical humanoid.

“Okay, okay- and why’s Patton off the table? He, like, actually enjoys helping people,” Virgil glanced down, scuffing the carpet with the side of his foot. “He’s good at it, too.”

“Yeahhhh,” Remus locked his teeth together, inhaled through them, “About that.”

“What, aren’t you two all close now?” Virgil frowned, “I fuckin’ saw you guys at the meeting yesterday, you were so on top of each other, I feel like I forgot that you were two separate sides,” to anybody who didn’t know him, the way he talked about it would sound harsh. Remus, however, knew exactly how soft Virgil really was- the fucking poser- and that that shit? That was pure encouragement, raw as a bloody, bloody steak. 

Which, of course, only made Remus wince again.

He flopped sideways onto the floor, groaning. “Yeah, we’re close. That’s- I think that might be the problem?” That sounded right, almost, but just wrong enough to feel icky and annoying. “Ugh, I don’t know. So I just ran!”

There was a beat.

“Wait a second,” Virgil’s voice was tight- oh that bitch, he was laughing! “You’re hiding from Patton?”

Remus huffed. Okay, so maybe it was a little funny, he could appreciate that- but! He was still upset about it!!

“I mean, what has he done to scare you off?” Virgil pressed, “Too many compliments? Did he hug you too hard? I know the dude can be a lot sometimes, but-”

“Okay, ok-ay,” Remus couldn’t help it, he managed a laugh at it, too. “It’s ridiculous! It’s fucking ridiculous and he’s not even the problem!”

“Then what is the problem?” Virgil was snickering, “And don’t say that it’s you, dude. At least one of us around here has to not hate himself to hell and back, and you’ve defended that title for too long to lose it,” he cleared his throat right after he said it, sitting up straighter and trying to look like he hadn’t just been laughing like a huge dork. “Not that I’m, like, worried about you or anything.”

“Aw, you so are,” Remus stared up at the ceiling, grinning despite the ache in his chest. “But no, it’s not that. He thinks I’m awesome and he’s right, so don’t worry.”

Virgil leaned over him, staring upside-down at Remus. He squinted.

“Hey, this a serious problem?”

“I guess so. You can joke about it, though.”

“Cool. Um,” Virgil pulled away. Remus sat up, watching the trait cross one leg over the other, flip them, then tap his knee one-two-three-etc. times. He chewed on his lip. The whole nine yards of a classic Focused-Virgil Face. “Okay. You can tell me about it, seriously. I’ll try to help, or whatever.”

Remus blinked at him.

“Don’t- Jesus- don’t make a big deal out of it, dude-”

“Oh, I am.”

“I don’t even have a choice, okay, you’re the one who-”

“You’re so sweet, Virgey!”

“Remus, I swear to God, repeat that to anyone and I…” 

Virgil trailed off. Remus pouted at him, dramatically, his eyes practically glowing with mischief. “C’mon, aren’t you going to threaten me?”

“I was, and then I remembered that you’re like, actually into that kinda stuff, so. No. Nope, I’m good.”

“Fine,” he shrugged, “Looks like you’re resigned to just hearing about my feelings, instead!”

Virgil rolled his eyes again- of course he did- but there was no hiding the way he went quiet, patient, you could even call it attentive.

It was an offering, one that Remus didn’t hesitate to take. 

Patton left Janus’ room in a good mood.

He was in a considerably less good mood when, as soon as he’d left, Remus saw him and scrambled away like Patton was about to attack him where he stood- wide-eyed with fear and everything.

Patton swayed in the hallway for seconds after, uncertain about a lot of things suddenly. 

The room Remus had run into had definitely been Virgil’s, not his own, and for a moment Patton entertained the idea of just going up to knock. He dropped that thought quick, realizing that if he really wasn’t wanted, then he definitely didn’t want to confirm that he wasn’t wanted.

He might have gone back to Janus- Janus was smart, Janus knew how to explain things and solve problems and comfort people- but that was scrapped, too. He’d taken up plenty of the snake’s time already, firstly, and secondly… No, yeah, Patton already knew just who he needed to see for something like this. 

Logan set aside his laptop as soon as Patton walked into the common room, a surprisingly perceptive gesture for someone who claimed to be bad with feelings. Or maybe Patton had just gotten rusty at hiding them.

“Hi,” he greeted, wobbly.

“Hello,” Logan said, “You look upset.”

Patton stared at the wall just above his friend’s head, and nodded.

“Can I help?”

He paused. It was a bad habit- one of many!- but feeling unwanted by one side made him wonder if, maybe, he was unwanted by everyone. The thought formed a lump in his throat and had guilt pooling in his gut, but this was Logan. His best friend, the person he had gone to because he always knew just where he stood with him. If Logan didn’t want to help- no, because he always wanted to- if he couldn’t handle helping, then he would tell Patton that. He always did.

“I think Remus is upset with me,” Patton blurted it out quickly, just so he didn’t have to hear them. Logan vanished his laptop at once, gesturing to the spot beside him on the sofa. Patton sat with him, smiling feebly.

“Has he said anything of the sort?”

“No,” Patton picked at the sleeve of his sweater, “He didn’t really have to. He kind of… ran away from me?”

Logan’s eyes widened behind his frames, almost imperceptibly. “I see.”

“I don’t even know what I did,” Patton flushed with the admission, because of just how true it was. He had no idea what he did, and still he felt blame settling over him like a well worn blanket, and all that he could do was hope it wasn’t as bad as the last time. “I feel like I should know this stuff by now, shouldn’t I?”

There was a pause, as Logan processed the words carefully, seemed to turn them over in his head. 

“Be careful not to jump to conclusions, Patton. He typically freely expresses how he is feeling at any given time, so even if his actions seem to say otherwise, it’s entirely possible that he’s not upset with you,” Logan smiled reassuringly. “I find that most of his actions are meaningless. He’s a very weird creature.”

Patton managed to laugh at that. Logan leaned their shoulders together, a little pride flashing in his eyes, as he continued. “He did seem to be ‘out of it’, in a manner of speaking, when we spoke earlier today. It would make sense if that had worsened over the past few hours, and now he’s just particularly flighty. All in all, I wouldn’t read too much into it, if I were you.”

Patton nodded, resolutely not mentioning that they’d spent the night together, however relevant that was. He knew it would sound paranoid to imply that their intimacy had backfired, or come too quick- because Patton was paranoid, and certainly a little neurotic, and the less he voiced it the better. 

Instead, he followed the advice he didn’t believe, and let himself rest against his friend. Logan had laced their fingers together; it wasn’t as comforting as it usually was. 

Logan was only so touchy when it was for the sake of others, and almost always that ‘other’ was Patton. A fact that made the needy trait feel amazingly special most of the time, but on nights like that… More than anything, he felt greedy.

“I’ll ask him about it,” Patton promised, because he knew that was what Logan would suggest (even if the idea made him more than a little dreadfilled). “Maybe I overwhelmed him. He’s been cuddly, so I thought…” Patton shook his head, bile hitting the back of his throat as the realization collapsed upon him. “That’s probably it. I must have took it too far.”

Logan didn’t pry, but Patton could feel his concern mount just as well as he could see the frown on his face.

“Talking to him will be the best course of action,” he said plainly. “For the time being, though,” he released Patton’s hand, wrapping his arm loosely around Patton’s waist and leaving it there. “It might be beneficial for you to receive more reassurance. Is this alright?”

“Yes,” Patton ducked his head, knowing full well how obviously relieved he sounded, “Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me, I’m happy to help,” Logan told him, and he had no doubt that it was true. Still, it always surprised him anyway- and that at least was a good thing about a friend who was so reserved. The pleasant surprises.

Patton sat up enough to rest his head on top of Logan’s, a position that was almost but not quite cuddling.

“I sincerely hope,” Logan muttered, “That everything will be alright for you.”

Whether he was speaking only about the Remus situation or not was unclear.

“Me too.”

“If it’s any consolation, it’s very difficult to stay upset with you, if he truly is so. In my experience, at least.”

Patton sighed. “Thanks, buddy.”

“Of course. Your happiness is-... you, are very important to me, and I can only hope that you’ve made a friend that values you as much as I do.”

Patton knew what he meant by it. Both he and Logan were acutely aware of how different they were, and how little they matched with each other. Patton couldn’t understand him- not wanting to be showered in love, enjoying silence and a little bit of alone time, needing space. He knew that Logan didn’t get him, either- didn’t know why he cried all the time, or why nothing ever seemed to fix him for good, or why he said so many things that went without saying. They still struggled with each other’s languages, sometimes, but they’d gotten miles and miles better with it over the years. Sometimes Patton thought that the only way they’d become so close was sheer willpower, pushing past each misunderstanding and argument just because they liked the challenge of it. Determination was always a common thread between them, whatever differences they had.

They had to have boundaries, then. Logan might not hold Patton on his worst days, but he’d give him notes and gifts and bring him water, food, things that he neglected for himself. Patton didn’t have any of the right words to talk Logan down when things got bad, but he was always there to cheer him back up when he was ready again. Neither of them understood each other, and maybe they never would, but they cared. Even if they couldn’t be what the other needed, they cared, and that was all they had to do. 

So even if Logan couldn’t fix things, Patton thought, he still did a hell of a good job patching them up. 

“Hey. Hey!”

Patton turned around with a jolt, his fingers going tight in the blanket about his shoulders. How long he’d been downstairs, he didn’t know- but he knew that he was really, very tired, and now was left blinking and confused at the person accosting him with so much energy. 

“Um, hi,” Patton tried.

Remus had run up to him at once, and was just as suddenly seizing both of his hands. Patton might have taken a moment to appreciate the touch, but with just one sentence that positivity crumbled:

“I need to talk to you.”

Patton shoved a plastic smile onto his face. He always felt a little icky to be faking it, but with Remus, the shame was especially thick. Still, it was only instinct. 

“Okay.”

Patton opened the door; the Duke marched in without waiting for invitation, and he followed. 

Dread dripped down his spine like melting ice cubes. This is fine, Patton told himself firmly, once they were both sitting feet apart on the bed. He refused to think too hard about what the distance meant- if it meant anything at all, or if he was only being ridiculous.

“Sorry about today,” Remus began, “Really. I was freaking out for the stupidest fucking reason. You’ll laugh when I tell you!”

Patton didn’t laugh, but he smiled a little more wholly. If Remus was upset with him, the apology must’ve meant at least some of that had faded away. Probably.

“It’s okay, Mess,” the nickname rolled off his tongue easily. Remus grinned at him, but it was somehow more manic than usual.

“I probably got you all worried over nothing, bolting on you before you could wake up- and then again earlier, right?”

There was a pause, as Patton tried to decide if the question was rhetoric or not. When the silence stretched on uncomfortably, he found himself nodding. 

Remus huffed out a breath, rocking back and staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I- I’m still working at the whole self-improvement thing, ya know? That probably doesn’t make it better, but- I’ve never really had a reason to try and be, uh, considerate. Janus never really cared if I was a bitch, and nobody else ever mattered, and that- yeah, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about.” 

His voice was raspy, low and thick in a way that it almost never was. Patton tipped his head to the side, confused. Remus looked- and sounded- awkward, an expression that was not at home on his face. 

“Wait, um- so it wasn’t anything I did? You’re not upset with me?”

Remus looked at him like he was crazy (ironic, that).

“Upset with you?” He crowed, “Why the fuck would I be upset with you?”

Patton flushed; he laughed embarrassedly, or maybe in relief; he toyed with the sleeves of his sweater.

“I didn’t really- I don’t know, but I was worried that I’d, um, overstepped some boundaries last night, and maybe made you uncomfortable.”

He was only kind of looking at his friend, from out the corners of his eyes. It was still easy to see the way Remus went from confused to amused, and then burst into cackles.

“You- You- Me? Morey, please, it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable- if that’s even possible, actually- and you sure as shit haven’t figured out how to pull it off yet. Sugar, I asked to stay with you!”

The relief flooded Patton all in a rush, and he felt himself finally relax. With Remus laughing and joking and being his usual (sweet, impressively sweet, surprisingly so) self again, it all started seeming a little silly. Remus must’ve seen him coming untense, folding down the same way accordion-pressed paper sprawled out when it was released from a bored student’s hand, because his gaze went warm, like something had finally clicked into place in his head. A problem solved, and what a wonderful solution it had come to- that’s what the look said. 

Patton met the smile just as brightly when the Duke shifted over some of the distance between them, taking up both of Morality’s hands in his own yet again. 

“Well, since it wasn’t something I did,” Patton said, “Then what was the actual problem?”

Remus didn’t look too upset at the question, but he was glancing down, up, sideways- his pupils flitted around the room without really touching on anything for too long; it wasn’t often that he was so obviously thinking something through. His fingers flexed, face a little pink, and he hesitated before answering:

“Okay, it’s like I said, right? I don’t- I’ve never needed to try to be anything for anybody before. I mean that I never wanted to do things in a conform-y way, obviously, but, I never wanted to be considerate, either,” he smirked down at their tangled hands, shrugging. “I don’t think I’m doing too bad for a first try, to be honest- but that’s not the point, the point is- this is… new.”

Patton opened his mouth, reassurances rushing to the tip of his tongue before he was hastily shushed.

“No, look, there’s a difference between being a pushover and just being fucking nice to the people you care about. That’s the problem- or I thought it was a problem, in my dipshit lizard-panic brain this morning- right? I’ve never wanted to do anything for people, because I didn’t need them anyway. I figured I didn’t, I guess, cuz I could survive without ‘em- it wasn’t like I had a choice, but I got on fine. Not to be too… I don’t know, pathetic? Who cares, but- I never knew anything different.”

Patton’s eyes went wide and watery, like the blue of his irises were soaking into everything else and leaking, leaking, leaking. He was squeezing Remus’ hands a little too tight, certainly, and he just wanted to hug him so bad- but despite his words, Remus didn’t even seem to need it. He looked back at Patton, huffed a sigh, looking just plain amused.

“So this hit me when I was talking to Virgil, about ten minutes ago,” he started, “That I woke up today, with you, and I had this thought like… Fuck, I don’t ever wanna move again. I could starve and then start to decompose and probably rot into bloody mush, but I’d probably still be perfectly happy- which is weird, because starvation is easily one of the boringest ways to die, I could go out so much cooler- but, it was more the fact that I was with you, and uh. So, so I thought that- which is so dumb and sappy- and it surprised me so bad that I just ran. And after I had, I was so freaked out, I didn’t even remember why for!”

He took a deep breath, something that he hadn’t done for that entire ramble. Patton got the sense he still wasn’t finished though, and waited patiently.

“I never needed anybody caring about me for me to be okay- the screaming and the fleeing and all that was fine, it was still a reaction. But I think I just realized that I couldn’t go back to that, now.

“Because of you. I knew I liked you, but it never clicked that things would probably suck without you by this point. More than that, I guess- it hit me that just because I can take care of myself, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t fucking blow. That I don’t- I don’t want to be so independent again, okay? That I don’t wanna be alone anymore.”

And he couldn’t help it at all; Patton did hug him, then. He pulled him against his chest as soon as he noticed the words going choppy, choked, and halting. He let go of Remus’ hands, in favor of tangling his fingers in the Duke’s hair and carding through it.

Remus met the embrace with just as much fervor, curling up into the bigger trait. Yet somehow, he wasn’t crying yet.

“Hey, hey, I’m alright,” he murmured, “I mean, don’t let go, obviously- but I’m okay. I had all day to panic! Which I definitely did, by the way, because my whole worldview got screwed over. Finally know how you feel, I guess,” He was joking, Patton could hear his smile. He laughed. “But I got it out of my system, and ya know what I realized after that?”

Patton hummed attentively, letting Remus pull back just enough to see his face.

“I said, ‘okay, I’m processing that, and it doesn’t matter.’ It doesn’t matter because I only realized that maybe I need people once I already had them, and- no offense- but you don’t really seem like the abandoning type. The opposite, that’s what you are.”

Patton beamed. 

“Of course not,” he swore, pressing the words out as though intensity alone could make them more true, more pure. “Never, not ever.”

“Good,” Remus said, “Cuz I’m hanging on to ya, Pat. As long as I can.”

Chapter Eight

Taglist: @shrimp-crockpot @glitter-skeleton-uwu @donnieluvsthings @intruxiety @thefivecalls @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @gayformlessblob 

#sanders sides #ts #intruality #my writing #qpr intruality #remus sanders #patton sanders #ts fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction

[timelock97]

Out of Order Love

Chapter Six: Jealousy and House Hunting

tomhollandxreader

Summary: It was meant to be a fun time in Vegas. Spending time with the best friend and celebrate getting done with college to turn the page to a new chapter in life. If only (Y/N) realized she would be turning a few extra pages by accidentally marrying her favorite actor.

Word Count: 2625

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 

(Y/F/P) - Your Favorite Pasta

-

"Can I be honest with you?" I peek at Tom who is wringing his hands as I pull out of the last condo we looked at, "I didn't like either of those we looked at today."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that." I groan, "Why is this so hard?" I turn the corner and drive into town. "I think we need food, then we can just, I don't know, Google any open houses that are going on today and hope for the best?"

"That would be fine," Tom pulls out his phone and starts looking for somewhere for the two of us to eat. He sighs, "What do you want, (Y/N)?"

"I'm up for whatever, you pick."

"Italian?" He looks up from his phone and makes a funny face of uncertainty.

"I'm cool with that, I could go for pasta."

He types in his phone and eventually points me in the right direction of the restaurant. It's small, but cozy. We walk in and he places a hand on the small of my back while he scrolls through his phone.

I sigh and peek at him, Tom is dressed in a plain burgundy t-shirt with a gray pocket, blue jeans, and black sneakers. His hair isn't styled in any sort of way, the way he had put it this morning was that he just didn't feel like trying other than what he needed to.

The waitress walks over and her eyes perk up as she spots us. "Welcome, welcome, welcome! Just the two of you?" She smiles at us but I can see her giving Tom a once over.

"Yup, just us." I smile. She glances at me and gestures us to follow her. She shows us a table by the window and tells us, "Your waitress will be right with you!" She practically skips away and grabs a girl that was already heading our way.

"How much do you wanna bet they will want your picture?" I ask from behind my menu.

"(Y/N)!" Tom laughs quietly, "You'd probably win, so I am not going to bet against you."

"No friendly competition, love?" I smile at him with my eyes over the menu.

He smiles back at me, "Alright, darling, if I win what would I get?" Before I can give him a witty comment, our waitress comes around the corner.

"Hi, you two! I'm Jackie, have you eaten with us before?"

"No, this would be our first time." Tom says with a smile.

I see her smile twitch and grow slightly bigger. "Well, you are in for a treat! We are famous for our pastas! Can I get you two anything to drink?" She keeps looking at Tom, but he gestures toward me. Her eyes fall on me and I can see her annoyance cross her features.

"Uh, strawberry lemonade?" She scribbles it on her pad before looking at Tom basically with heart eyes.

"That sounds wonderful, I'll have that as well." She smiles and walks away. I make a face and go back to looking at the menu. "Find anything that looks good, darling?"

"I think I'll go with (Y/F/P)." I close the menu and lay it back down on the table, "What about you?"

"I'm thinking of the ravioli, just sounds good." He closes his also and sets it on top. When the waitress comes back I notice she unbuttoned her blouse two extra buttons, her bra poking out slightly. I almost laugh, but instead I place my hand on top of Tom's who smiles at me when I do.

"Here you two go!" She leans slightly closer to the table and I notice Tom leans slightly away when she does. I smile slightly and she looks almost hurt. "Do you know what you want or do you need more time."

"No, we are ready." Tom says and when she looks at him expectantly he gestures toward me again. She almost looks like she wants to explode when she meets my eyes.

"I'll have the (Y/F/P)."

She scribbles it down and looks at Tom happily. "And you, hon?" She bats her eyelashes and I roll my eyes.

"The ravioli, please."

"Of course!" She scoops up the menus before giving us a little wave and "I'll be back!" She walks away with a swish of her hips.

I scoff and pull my hand from Tom's to pull out my phone and see if there are any other open houses in the neighborhood.

"You alright, love?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just-" I cut myself off and notice her looking down the row at us. I give him a look and pull my phone into my lap.

The Wife

She literally keeps staring daggers into me and I swear she unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse on purpose.

Tom chuckles and glances at me before texting back.

Current Husband

I thought something was off, it's kind of unprofessional isn't it ;)

I roll my eyes at him.

The Wife

You're bad. She also looked like she tried to shove them in your face.

Current Husband

She did not xD

The Wife

Did too! You even moved away!

Current Husband

Well, it doesn't matter

Cuz I have you ;)

"That was cheesy," I giggle at him.

He smiles at me before reaching his hand across the table. I sigh and handed him my left hand and he squeezes it. "Yes, but also." He lifts our hands and leans forward toward them. "She doesn't have this." He brushes his lips to the ring before pressing a kiss to my knuckles. I blush at the action and avert my eyes. "You're blushing, love." He sings and I stick my tongue out at him causing him to chuckle. He continues to look at me lovingly, until Jackie interrupts us with our food.

"Here are your meals!" She sets down my meal first, then Tom's, "Enjoy." She has almost a sultry tone and as soon as her back is turned I make a face at Tom who laughs loudly. He places his finger to his lips telling me to shush. The two of us eat in silence for a few minutes before he pulls something up on his phone and sends it to me. It's a link to website showing an open house about fifteen minutes from the restaurant.

"Want to just go look, I mean what else can we lose?" He inquires with a raised brow.

"Yeah," I smile looking at the description. When I look up, Tom has his fork in my pasta. "Tom!" I try to fight him with my fork, but he has already scooped some on his fork and has shoved it in his mouth, grinning.

"That's good, love."

"That's why I ordered it, you twat." I laugh, he motioned to his plate and I take the opportunity to take a bit of his. I chew and shrug, "It's okay, but I like mine better." He makes an offended face, placing his hand over his heart in mock-hurt. I giggle and we go back to eating discussing the game plan if this last condo doesn't work out before I excuse myself to run to the restroom. On the way back, I overhear a conversation.

"How can a guy like that like her?"

"They are married, Jac."

"Yeah, but didn't you hear what he said in the interview? They were a bit tipsy, it could easily be a mistake."

"What are you going to do?"

I walk around the corner and walk back to my seat seeing Tom has slipped money into the bill folder. He sees my face and goes to ask me a question but is cut off by Jackie coming and grabbing the bill.

"Need change?" She flutters her eyes at him.

"Yes, please." Tom nods while she smiles and walks away. "(Y/N), are you alright?"

"I'll tell you in the car." I interject, leaning back in my chair running a hand over my face. Tom raises an eyebrow, but doesn't push me.

Jackie comes back and hands him the folder, she turns on her heel before she gets too far. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was wondering if I could get a picture with you?" she bites her lip and I want to puke. Tom gives her a small smile and nods. He hands me the folder and stands to take a picture with her.

I open it and take out the change and leave the tip on the table, but not before noticing the 'call me if she doesn't work out' note on his receipt. I take the blank receipt from behind it and leave the other one inside.

Tom says a few things to her as I stand and wrap an arm around his torso. "Ready to go, love?" He muses, smiling at me as he places an arm around my shoulder. I nod, double checking the table to make sure we have everything before the two of us leave. Tom sighs, "Did you decide on what I owe you since she did ask for a picture?"

"Ice cream of my choice?" I say with a laugh.

"That'll work, oh, can I have my change?" I hand over the money and receipt before getting in the driver's side. After starting the car I notice Tom staring at me, I lock eyes with Tom and his damn puppy eyes. "What was bothering you in there, please tell me." He sticks out his lower lip in a pout.

I cover his face with my hand and let out a soft, "No, not the puppy eyes and pouty lip!" He smiles underneath my hand and I pull away to place my hands back onto the wheel, "So I overheard our waitress talking to another waitress and she basically said she was going to give you her number in case we 'didn't work out,' I honestly hate those types of people. Like," I pull out on the main road and let my phone tell me where the next open house is at. "It doesn't matter if that person is in a bad relationship or a good, if the person is good looking or not, you shouldn't do that! It's so rude and self-centered and," I let out an annoyed noise. "I may have taken the other receipt and left the one with the note in the folder." Tom is quiet for a minute, I suddenly feel like I did something wrong, after our three months are up he could have gone back to her he could-

"I don't like people like that either. She also said the same thing to me while we took the picture."

"She did?" My voice goes up slightly and I go wide eyed in anger.

"She did, I told her that I was happy being married to you and that she should respect that." I glance at him and see him staring straight ahead. I put my hand over his that are cupped in his lap and he laces his fingers with mine.

"We have one strange relationship, Holland." He laughs next to me and nods. The GPS tells us that we are at our location and I see a condo that looks like a house split down the middle to make two condos. There is a man sitting on the front step when we pull up, his head raising as we pull into the driveway. He jumps to his feet and I roll down my window. "I hope we aren't too late to look at the place."

"No, no, no, not at all ma'am. Please," he gestures to the condo, "come in." He opens the door for me, and I turn off the car so Tom and I can get out. "I'm Jasper Kings, and I apologize ahead of time, but this is my first time doing this, so if I ramble it's just because I'm nervous and, oh gosh I'm doing it now." He looks like he is going to pass out so I put my hand out to shake his hand.

"I'm (Y/N) Holland, and this is my husband Tom." Tom moves to my side and shakes Jasper's hand as well.

"Well, let me show you in!" Jasper leads the two of us inside, my eyes catch the small flowers in front of the house and the turquoise front door. "It's a blank canvas, Mr. and Mrs. Holland!" As we walk in I can see that the condo is unstaged, showing the size of the place. Across from the front door are two staircases, one going up and the other going down. Left of the door is a hall closet. "Now, down this way we come to the living room, dining room, and kitchen. It's open concept which is nice for parties or family gatherings." Jasper jogs into the kitchen, it's simple, with white cabinets and gray blue countertops with a similar backsplash. The appliances are stainless steel.

I nod as I turn and look from there to the living/dining room. Wood runs across the entire space, making it look clean. On the back wall is a sliding glass door that leads out to a small deck. I walk about midway to where the living room would be and see a small hallway that has three doors.

"Oh, that is where the powder room, small closet, and master bedroom are! The master is on the left and also has a full bathroom in it. It's quite lovely. I can show you the upstairs too." Jasper walks backwards toward the stair cases. Upstairs is a small bonus room that overlooks the living room, as well as two bedrooms and a bathroom between them. It's nice and cozy. After, Jasper leads us back down stairs and to the basement to see that it is partially done with a completed, full laundry room. Another sliding glass door is set almost below the one on the main floor, through the glass we can see a fence.

"I like this," Tom whispers to me as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I hope the fence isn't too much trouble, the last tenants had a larger dog and caused the neighbors to worry about their children."

"It's perfect, we have a dog so that's just one thing we don't have to worry about." I turn and look at Jasper.

He is excited, and he almost dances in his place. He motions for us to follow him, we end up back on the main floor and he smiles folding his hands in front of him, swaying to and fro. "I'm going to step out so you two can talk." He walks outside, shutting the door behind him.

Tom sighs next to me, and drags me back into the main room. "What do you think, (Y/N)? Did we just happen to stumble onto the perfect place or what?"

"You did find the perfect place," I agree, he looks at me with bright eyes. I smile back at him, "So are you ready to do this, it'll be a lot of work. Lots of furniture to buy, and lots of other things."

"We can worry about it as we go, but as long as we are in this together I think we'll be fine."

"Did we just buy a condo?" I ask, smiling.

Tom hugs me. "I think we did. Now, let's tell Jasper, I want to see how happy he gets."

"So happy," I giggle. Tom squeezing me slightly before letting me go and walking to the door.

Our first home together, a part of me wants it to really be that and not just part of this charade

Part 7 

#tomhollandxreader #husband!tomholland #fakedating!tomholland #tomholland2013 #tom holland #accidentalmarriage!tomholland #CG writes

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

Game #3: Dirty Laundry

“OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKIN’ GOD. I CAN’T BELI— ACTUALLY NO. I TOTALLY CAN BELIEVE IT. I NEVER DOUBTED YOU FOR A SECOND.”

 The way Mike McGuire was acting, you’d think that she was the new TV Champion. But she wasn’t. Her partner, John Bishop Church was. That seemed completely irrelevant though. He’d won a hard fought victory over the legendary veteran Ruthann Hunter, gone the distance, and prevailed. She’d stood beside him in his moment of triumph and, as she looked to him then, he shone. As if for a moment, all the misfortune he’d borne was gone. 

Now, though, a lot of that shine had been knocked off. His brow was furrowed in concern for his opponent, and still as before, his partner was beside him. She settled down, her own jubilation dropping a bit. You never wanted to see this sort of thing happen to a peer, especially not due to a match you were in. 

“…you okay?” “This is what I mean. Inside there, Mike, you turn it off. But what I saw afterwards. That didn’t feel right.” “Course it doesn’t. It sucks when this sort of thing happens. But don’t start blaming yourself for it, okay? I know you. Turning it off or not, you’d never hurt somebody in a way they couldn’t bounce back from.” 

She patted him on the shoulder, then fidgeted a little.

 “I got you something. I knew you were gonna win, I’ve known for a while. We’ve worked too hard, YOU’VE worked too hard. So I got you a congratulations present. You… still want it? I get it if you want me to sit on it a bit.” John looked down at the title and stared at his own reflection in the silver plate. “You’re right. And a part of me wants to wait until later but this is special. And I couldn’t have done this without you.” She smiled at him, and reached into her bag. Shuffling some things around, she pulled out a box wrapped in shiny green paper, tied up with an orange satin ribbon. Reaching out, she handed it to her partner. “It ain’t much. Just somethin’ I thought you could use on the tour comin’ up.”

 And much to her amusement, John neatly removed the ribbon, removed the tape on either side of the gift, and carefully undid the wrapping paper. John stared at the box and she knew this wasn’t disappointment, it was just him. “What is it?”

 “It’s a Kindle Fire. Kinda like an iPad, sort of, but this one’s special. Cuz it does the stuff a tablet does, but at heart? It’s an e-reader. You can buy books on Amazon and they get downloaded right to the Kindle, and then you can read ‘em on here. I can get it set up for you later, and there’s even a gift card in the box so you can get a couple e-books to get you started.” She rolled her shoulders a little, smiling.“Figured it’d save you from having to pack extra to bring your books along.” 

“This is really neat. Thank you.”

 So they’d spent their first evening with one of them as champion playing with the Kindle- getting it set up, picking books out, learning how to navigate the pages. Picking out which apps to add and which to avoid, at least for now. Church was still trying to get the hang of it a while later, but Mike was certain he’d learn. He always picked things up eventually- after all, he was ridiculously smart. But with that out of the way, it was time to look forward. And oh, what a forward they had to look toward. Finally. At long last, after ducking and dodging them for weeks, Rob ‘Cherry’ Garcia was finally going to be standing across the ring from them. Granted, he had a friend- a turncoat, no-good piratey friend- but still. This is what they’d wanted. Title on the line or no, it was well understood between the upstart members of NSFW that they wanted to test their mettle against the best. They had stood toe to toe with the Trinity in a match that Mike could barely remember- being dropped on one’s goddamn head onto steel will do that- and had come out on the losing end, but had proven that they weren’t going anywhere.

 She’d felt awful, though. And not just in the physical sense- her head had been splitting for two days, during which her partner insisted she stay down and rest- she’d felt that the failing had ultimately been hers. After all, through her hazy memory she could distinctly recall she ate the pin. She’d been slumped against the cold painted cinderblock afterward, holding an icepack to the opened goose egg on her head, trying to keep blood from dripping into her left eye. 

“…sorry, dude. Really. I shoulda done better.” John, who was sitting on the well-worn wooden bench, drenched in sweat and slumped against the concrete wall of the now emptied out locker room, shook his head. “Why are you apologizing?” 

“…I dunno. Fuckin’ can’t remember the last fifteen minutes so good. Pin was mine though. Musta been me who fucked up.” “We are a team. One perceived setback would never shake the foundations of this partnership. A million of them, even.” “Jeezus, you’re sweet.” She smiled a little before wincing in pain, hissing softly through her teeth. “Okay. Won’t… beat myself up anymore. Reckon I got beat up enough, huh?” And she didn’t. She’d felt plenty terrible over the next couple days, but none of it was from guilt. By the third day she’d been on the mend, and now she only had a scab under her hairline that she supposed would wind up forming a pretty righteous scar. A lesson learned and the rest of it left behind them, their eyes now firmly focused ahead on what was shaping up to be the most exciting week of their young partnership.

 Her eyes flicked over to her partner, nestled in the window seat, clouds and blue sky drifting past. He had been messing around with the Kindle she'd gotten him for a while, but eventually opted to stop playing with it, stuck it in the magazine pouch, and was now deeply focused on what he was doing, pencil scribbling away in a notebook- one she recognized right away from the slightly rain-warped cover. It wasn’t just any notebook- it was the one he wrote his prose in. His really, really good prose. She’d read a piece of it- not exactly on purpose- and Church'd caught her. It’d been late- way later than she thought it was. She had to have read the entire thing four or five times, though she at least had the tact to not venture elsewhere in the notebook. She was captivated by this story, but part of her knew she really shouldn’t be reading it. In fact, she should probably stop altogether. Just as soon as she finished this read through… 

“…what are you doing?”

 It was a soft inquiry, but it nearly made Mike jump out of her skin. It was 1 in the morning- holy shit, had that much time passed?- and he usually got up for a drink of water around now. But here she was, her hair still mussy and a little damp, clothes likewise, sitting in the dark by tablet light. All she could muster was a very sheepish smile and a statement in the tone of someone who knew they were in some degree of trouble. 

“…it’s really really good?” 

“Okay.” Church pulled out the chair across from her and sat. “It’s just … something to pass the time.” “I still don’t think I oughta’ve read it.” She closed the notebook, sliding it across the table to him. “I’m sorry. I just… I saw it was out in the ring when it started raining fuckin’ buckets, and I didn’t want it to get ruined, so I ran out and got it but it still got wet so I opened it to make sure the words didn’t get all fucked up and kinda got sucked in.” She was rambling a little, and she scratched the back of her head, looking down at the tabletop, fingers fidgeting with each other. She might not have felt so guilty about it, but something told her that what she read hadn’t been ordinary prose. The name of the spaceman was a big clue, and the entire series of events just rang way too familiar. No, she’d accidentally stumbled on some sort of fictionalized diary or something. Had to be. “It’s okay. Th-thank you. I would just like if you asked. That one. I didn’t have access to a pencil so when the lights went out and I couldn’t read anymore I’d think of my own stories. But I think I forgot most of them. They all got replaced with stuff i don’t like to remember.” “Hey. Just so you know, if that ever happens here- like if the power goes out again or somethin’ and you can’t sleep and it’s too dark to read… you can wake me up. It’s okay, I won’t be mad’re nothin’. I don’t want you t’ have to have nothin’ but thoughts you don’t wanna think. Cuz I know what that’s like and it sucks.” A brief vision of a hospital room in the dead of night passed through her head. She shook it out and sighed, her fingers fidgeting a little more. “So… you really almost left, huh? I thought I heard the front door open and shut in the middle of the night, but I was also half asleep. Thought I dreamed it.” Suddenly, the power flicked back on, the AC sputtering a bit before kicking back to life and the lights illuminating the previously dark kitchen in a sudden flash of brightness that made Mike blink. She’d felt suddenly exposed, though, her expression more pensive than she’d really wanted to be revealed. Church looked at her and at first it was the same blank expression he always seemed to give her. Sometimes when when they conversed, she imagined a complicated set of cogs, pulleys, and levers working in his mind to put together a careful calculated response, but here it seemed very different. His fingers pinched at the corner of one of her green plastic placemats. His mouth was slightly agape. Church looked down for just a moment but when his face raised up to her hers, the normal expression resumed. “Yes. I guess I did. My life has been for public consumption for a long time now, Mike. I thought it would have gotten better but at that time I had been made to feel like I was nothing. And then you come along. You’re the first person to come along and lend a helping hand.” Church shook his head. “It was a shock to the system. And I hated it. I just wanted to have what i had before. I know, I know that sounds weird. Because it was nothing. But it wasn’t, Mike. It was all I had. But then even, you appeared in my door way and brushed away all of that pity. You wouldn’t allow it. I’d been thinking about that a lot recently. I wanted to tell you but sometimes I can’t figure out how to say. I feel so frustrated sometimes. I can’t seem to put the pieces together.” “It’s okay. You don’t have to. If it’s meant to come, it’ll come. And if it ain’t… you don’t need to say stuff out loud for me to get it. I mean I ain’t psychic or nothin’, shit no, but… heh. I guess that don’t make a lot of sense either but, eh. I dunno. I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is, even if I ain’t really some super cool space hot-rod rescue ranger, I think I’m really startin’ to get you. Maybe. I’m trying anyway. But either way… I’m glad you changed your mind, bud. I’m really… really glad you did.” 
Stretching, she stood up, striding along the aisle and swishing aside artfully to avoid a flight attendant pushing a minibar. First class had its perks- they’d decided to treat themselves. The big cushy seats and special amenities were fantastic, and Mike had to say that even the staff even seemed cuter. Allowing herself a slightly longer than necessary glance at the liquor-serving blonde’s firm posterior, she loped along the length of the aisle before turning back. Comfy chairs or not, this was a long flight- both she and Church’s first overseas. She’d never dreamed of going someplace like eastern Europe, and yet, here she was, on a plane bound for Minsk- not quite the dramatic, romantic setting of Moscow, with its distinctive colorful onion domed cathedral and palace-like seat of government where Putin made late night overtures to his favorite tangerine puppet, but still. A country she’d never been to. Sights she’d never seen. There was a serious thrill in her gut that had nothing even to do with wrestling, and it harmonized well with the thrill that absolutely had everything to do with it. 

She was so happy and excited that she could almost forget about that morning. She’d been all packed, with Church putting his last few odds and ends in his suitcase. She was pacing around the house, giving everything a once-over- lights off, back doors locked, tarp over the ring, et cetera- when she saw a figure through the front door window. 

It was too early for the Uber she’d sent for and she didn’t think she recognized his face. Slipping out front, she narrowed her eyes, folding her arms, sizing up the unfamiliar man standing before her. Dark hair. What she’d call an outright punchable face, with a big awkward looking grin and almost weaselly looking eyes. He looked, in her opinion like a complete shitheel, and she squared up a bit. One would get the distinct mental image of a ferocious guard dog, set to rip any perceived threat to hearth and home to fucking shreds.

 “Who are you an’ the fuck do you want? Make it snappy, bucko, we got places to be that ain’t here.” “David Hodges. I’m a reporter.” the suit looked past her and eyed the house number plate that was drilled into the wall beside the door, “Miss McGuire, I presume?” “You certainly fucking do. News hound, huh? Unless you’re here to tell people about the greatest fucking tag team the world’s ever seen since the goddamn Hart Foundation, you don’t got shit.” However, he didn’t react to that all. “I see. Miss McGuire, do you know a Melissa Perez?” “Yeah, she’s a feckless fucking cu*t. What about her?” Mike’s stance didn’t start out warm and welcoming, and was getting more hostile by the second. She didn’t seem to have any intention of backing down. David looked down at a sheet of paper clutched in his head, “Melissa recently tweeted that you, an employee of…” The paper rustled.“Extreme Wrestling Corporation, are living with a fellow employee John Bishop Church. The same John Bishop Church that was exonerated for the murder of his wife Christina. And their unborn child. I’ve talked to her. She has texts between you two that prove this connection. It’s one thing to appear at the work place together. That’s a job. It’s another thing all together to … well, I’m not going to say what Melissa says you’re doing with him. I think it’s quite obvious.” “Yeah, if you’re a fuckin’ rube.” She took a deliberate step forward. “You don’t know shit and I ain’t telling you shit, and I’ll tell you why, fuckwad. You said the magic word with your own stupid mouth. Exonerated. The whole fucking thing is online. The facts are right there on any public fucking record, black and white. Anything else ain’t your business, or anybody else’s business, and you’re almost lower than rat shit if you came all the way over here for dirt based on a tip by my FUCKING EX GIRLFRIEND.” He smirked in the face of all of this anger. “Is John in there right now? I met him a few months back. Not too talkative, is he?” “I wouldn’t want to talk to your stupid weasel-lookin’ ass either.” She deliberately avoided the question, though her poker face was immediately wrecked by a flick of her eyes to the door behind her. Stay in there, buddy. Just stay put for a little while longer, you don’t need to get mixed up with this. Just stay there. Please. “So you mentioned exoneration, Miss McGuire. He confessed. Quite vividly. It’s all there for the public to listen to.” It’s at this point that most people would have acted shocked. Or, perhaps, began to germinate a seed of doubt. But Mike was not most people, and if the reporter expected her to waver at all in her stubborn refusal to cooperate, he was about to be sorely disappointed. She bared her teeth in a snarl, and the emeralds of her eyes could cut glass. “People confess to a lot of shit. Drill into somebody long enough an’ they’ll tell you they’re fucking B.D. Cooper just to get you to lay the fuck off.” “He said he did it.” “Piss fucking Christ, are you deaf and stupid? Did you not hear what I just fucking said? What, you want me to toss you in a room for thirteen fucking hours and ask you the same questions over and over and not let you eat or fucking sleep till you answer ‘em in a way that suits me?” “Right. Detective Ray Geschkes was in charge of that interrogation. I’ve listened to the whole thing. He was on the force for thirty five years. 13 hours or not, that interrogation was by the book. John confessed. He wrote it down. He signed off on it.”

 “By the book. By the FUCKING BOOK. Don’t you dare say that. That fucker planted evidence. And it was STUPID evidence. You know how I know? Church doesn’t fucking drink. At all. Made margaritas yesterday afternoon cuz it was fucking hot. Regular for me, virgin for him, and he still didn’t have any. So Mister By-The-Fucking-Book is a nasty little mental midget for planting DNA on something that Church wouldn’t have fucking touched to begin with.” Another step forward. “Go ahead. Say one more stupid thing. I fucking dare you to not just turn around, get in your ugly-ass car, and leave like a decent human being.” He raised his hands defensively. One hand clutched a pocket-sized tape recorder. “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Miss McGuire. Speaking of saying stupid things - they’re all right here. And you’re right. But that doesn’t explain everything else. Decent human being, huh? You fell for that dopey aw, shucks act hook, line, and sinker, didn’t you?”

 Her movements were whip-quick. One hand jutted out like a striking cobra and grabbed ahold of the reporter’s necktie, dragging him with it halfway across the yard before stopping. She was just a few short inches from his face. “Listen up. You know what I have to do? I get up at five in the fucking morning. I filter through hundreds of fucking Facebook and twitter comments and delete the vilest shit you could ever imagine. Small, cruel little fucks like you, calling him the worst kind of names and tellin’ him to do shit that you oughta be doin’ yourself. But I delete it. All of it. Because he don’t deserve to see that. He gave you fucking people twenty fucking years. That’s enough. That’s more than fucking enough. Now get off my fucking property before I get all Stand Your Ground on your pathetic ass.” And the reporter backed away slowly. “That’s alright.” And he was half way into his tan Corolla when he shouted over the roof of it, “Miss McGuire. Send me a DM when John becomes your next Steve. Maybe then we can work together to shine a light on this whole ugly ordeal.” And seconds later, he was gone. 

Mike was speechless. She was absolutely livid. Her hand was shaking as she checked her phone. Five minutes. Not a ton of time. She ran to the driveway and threw Alundra’s door open, slammed it behind her, and screamed. She screamed for about a solid minute. She would’ve very much liked to hit something but she’d recently finished repairing damage to her baby- she didn’t want to cause the Mustang any more. Panting, she slipped back out, and opened the front door, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand and trying to sound chipper.

 “Hey buddy, Uber’s gonna be here in three. You ready?” “Yes. Hey, who were you yelling at outside? Another salesman? It seems a common occurrence these days.” 
“…nobody. Nobody worth a pint of horse piss. Doesn’t matter. Next couple hours, we’ll be headed to motherfuckin’ Belarus. … Fuck, you know what? Let’s do something ridiculously indulgent. We deserve it. Let’s upgrade our tickets to fuckin’ first class. Cushy seats, leg room, open bar, and no dickfucks allowed.” Church nodded. “I trust you.” She bit her lip, paused, leaned forward, and gave him a quick but firm hug. As brief as it was, there was something fierce in it, something incredibly protective. She pulled back just as a lime green Volkswagen with an Uber sticker on the back windshield pulled up in front of the house. She locked the door behind them. 

But that was this morning and thousands of miles away. And as she headed back to her seat, she couldn’t help but pause, a huge grin crossing her face. The gangly teenager in the aisle seat was likely the child of one of the wealthy people occupying one or two of the other cushy chairs. Or maybe they’d gotten a cheap upgrade and decided to fly in style. But either way, one eye was covered by a deliberate shocking violet comb-over of bangs, their grin had the telltale silver gleam of new braces, and they were wearing an NSFW t-shirt. And fiddling with one of their ridiculous fidget spinners. Good to know at least one of those things sold.

 “Holy crap, you're Mike McGuire. Awesome.”

 “Nope. YOU’RE awesome.”

 Mike gave the kid a clicking wink and a double finger point, and found her seat next to her partner, closing her eyes. It was still a long way to Minsk. A couple hours’ nap later, the camera clicked on. Two mildly jet lagged but happy travelers grinned into it- one muted, one big and toothy. 

“Say hey, EWC faithful! It’s ya boys, NSFW- one of us, who I really need to mention, is YOUR NEW REIGNING AND DEFENDING EWC TELEVISION CHAMPION- and we are currently on a plane- IN FIRST CLASS, BAY-BEE- headed to Belarus. It’s our first trip overseas, and frankly? We’re pretty fuckin’ hyped.” “I am ecstatic.”

 “We’re gonna be landing before long, but before we have to fasten our seatbelts, put our tray tables in the upright position an’ turn off all electronic devices, we thought we’d take a couple minutes to say… Jesus fucking Christ last week. The so-called top of the pops around here may have got the better of us, but at the end of the day, does anybody really give a shit? Same old rhetoric, different fuckin’ day. Yeah yeah, I know we didn’t come out on top and I got knocked fuckin’ loopy for my trouble, but our opposition totally failed to live up to our expectations. And they’ll totally be crowing their asses off about it too, dollars to fuckin’ doughnuts. They’ll come out with their cool music and awesome pyro and toss a couple Benjys to the monkeys in the truck for some nice piped in crowd noise, and go on about how they put down a couple of big-mouthed upstarts. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY. VOLUME 2 COMING SOON. Maybe Reid’ll even get a new Xbox One from his parents for doing an extra good job.” The camera panned to Church’s blank expression towards his partner. “The Trinity. They’re in our rearview mirror. Mike, some would say that we are the masters of foreshadowing.” “And why is that, my erstwhile compadre?” “Our friend. And I am being insincere when I say that. Our friend found himself a partner after all.” Mike gave a curt nod. 

“He did indeed. Or should I say- a pARRRRRtner.” “You’re allowed one of those. Only one.” “Noted. It was fuckin’ worth it. But somethin’, no pun intended as I’ve hit my limit, smells real fuckin’ fishy here. Cap’n Darkwater isn’t supposed to be the kind of pirate that would associate with a bilge rat like Cherry Garcia. Ain’t he supposed to be a nobler breed of buccaneer? What, did his morals and sense of fucking decency walk the goddamn plank? And don't think that sad line about being keelhauled into this is gonna make us shed a fuckin' tear for you. Who in their right goddamn mind would believe a fuckin' pirate, one who's obviously just proven he's a fuckin' moral degenerate?” “Seems like that charade of his burned to cinder when his greatest opportunity blew up in his face.” “Bitter, bitter pirate. So now he’s back in fighting form, and he decides to put the screws to Nostalgia and get in bed- oh, sorry, was FORCED into bed- with Garcia. Come on, dude. I kinda really hoped you were better than this.” 

She shakes her head and looks, if briefly, sincerely disappointed. John’s reaction to that isn’t the same. It’s unflinching. “I’m not surprised. His charming roguish qualities seemed to be an act. It’s easy to mug for your adoring public when everything seems to be going his way. There is no explanation. No excuse. No wiping away the cowardice he displayed. Many eyes were opened that evening to his true nature. But his transformation was a long time coming. He has weathered the storm of his would-be challengers and when they seemed to be out of play - here he comes to take possession of something he never earned.��� “What a combo. A guy handed a belt and a guy who had to fucking make one up.” “They do have something in common, though, don’t they?” There was a plain sense of amusement plastered on Mike’s face as she looked up at her partner, brows raised inquisitively.

 “What’s that?” “Delusions of grandeur. One’s obvious enough. It drips out of every word he says. The other. The big guy. Mike, I want to level with you on something. The virtuous marauder act only suited him when he needed it. He’s a charlatan afforded the privilege to buy his way into this fantasy of his. He’s a stereotypical romanticized idea of a pirate and believe me, it’s easy to rationalize the crimes committed against the oppressors that were the English and Spanish. But like that matters to him. If he stopped playing pretend and looked into the mirror, he’d see that he’s become the very thing that his predecessors fought against.” “What he oughta do, frankly, is use those big bucks of his to buy a DeLorean, slap a Flux Capacitor in that son’bitch, and head Up North circa 1995. He’d be right at home with all the plumbers, clowns, and garbage men. But before you go and do that, Cap’n, some food for thought. See, Garcia here. You know why he is, or was before you sailed into the picture, a tag champ all by his lonesome? I’ll tell you. All his buddies fucking ditched his sleazy egomaniac ass. How long before it grates on you too? And once it does, then what’ll you be left with? Your reputation’s fucking shot, dude, and you’ll have pissed it down your leg for nothing, and that, me hearty, is just sad.”

 She shook her head, tisking. “See, we are pretty good at foreshadowing because what waits for us at the end of this journey?” “A decisive victory over the tag champs, that’s what. The belts may not be up for grabs this time around but that’s okay. Ain’t nothin’ new for ol’ Cherry Garcia. We ain’t ruffled. Us beating you is gonna send a big fat message to the guys in the front office. If they ain’t noticed us yet we are gonna MAKE ‘em take notice by swabbing the deck with the goddamn champions- not too tall an order considering one was just handed the belt out of nowhere and the other’s too lazy an ass to ever defend the fucking things.”

 She leaned forward.

 “Speaking of tall orders. Don’t think I’m scared of you, Captain Kangaroo. You’re a big guy.” “For you.” Mike held up a finger and tilted her head off camera. There was audible snorting before she rejoined the shot. “God Bless the fucking internet. But yeah. You’re way bigger than me. Maybe even a tad bigger than my partner, but that ain’t stopped him from chucking guys about as big as you around. How about he sends you sailing for real? I’d sure like to see that, but not before I take a nice chunk out of your pirate’s booty myself.” “With his looming visage, it’s so easy to forget the other part of this equation and just what he is capable of.” “What… IS he capable of? Making his own belt and pretending it’s a fucking accomplishment? Perpetually coming up shorter than he says he will?” Church smiled at her. “She means that it’s a constant part of the remnant’s makeup. There is something that he is good at. He’s gonna take one look at NSFW and he’s gonna laugh. We’ve got ourselves an easy night, he’ll say. That’s the delusion kicking in. This newly minted duo, they’re going to overlook us. They’re the superstars here and we are their tune up. That about cover it?” “Other than him being a delicious nut-free ice cream? Nope, that’s it. But, oh dear team of Pirate and Puss, you’ve got us pegged all wrong. This won’t be a night off. This may well be the worst fucking night of your lives. Because we want this. We’ve been trying to get your attention for weeks, and now that we’ve got it, we ain’t lettin’ you take your eyes off us. We’ll be haunting you like the fuckin’ Flying Dutchman from here on out. And there’ll be a whole fuckin’ fleet behind us. Do you hear that? The dead ships are comin’ up from the maelstrom and they’re comin’ for your stern. You’ll come out and they’ll be chanting our name. The people who want something different, somethin’ to fuckin’ believe in. Like this awesome kid right here.”

 She swung the camera around. The purple haired teenager across the aisle and a few seats back, suddenly realizing they were in an honest to God NSFW promo, waved a skinny arm wildly and gave a whoop.

 “NSFW, YEEEEAH!”

 The camera swoops back onto them, Mike giving a smirking nod.

 “Just like that. Every fuckin’ week. Louder and louder until you’re left with one single solitary question.” 

Her face splits into a huge jawbreaker of a grin.

 “What’s cauuuusin’ all this?” “It’s us. In some small way, we quantify the idea that the time for polite discourse is over. Whether it’s bigots, wanna-be fascists, ideological frauds, or text-book case of narcissism and a scalawag who talks out of both sides of his mouth, we are going to show the world how to take them down.” “By playing fair… and maybe a little dirty too.” Church opened his mouth to object, or at least that is what Mike anticipated. “Just a little.” 

That huge grin grew a little more devilish. “But how we do it ain’t as important as the fact that we are. Don’t look behind you for us, mates. Look beside you, and later, look in fucking front. Cuz we’re Not Sailing in your Fucking Wake.”

 There was a tinny voice over the intercom that they were approaching their destination, and the camera cut out.



#archive

[nyandom]

Introduction of the Members

Yuki: A page dedicated to this is still under works so for now, we’ll be introducing the members via text post.

Elo: The members are arranged from who joined MEOW first to the last.

Jordan

Nicknames: Jordy, Superman, Freaking Disgrace (FD), and Mama

Posts including Jordan will be tagged with #jordan.

He is the oldest member of the group and is considered as the Mother of Meow. Of course, being an adult means having a job is part of the package. This becomes one of the main reasons for his lengthy absences in the group. But even so, he had kept everyone in his thoughts. He even sent his friend, Edzon, to check on the members so that he’ll be able to know how they were doing while he’s at work (which was how Edzon became a member). His confidence levels are off-charts especially on the topic of his charm and looks. It is worth noting that the amount of hearts he has broken just by turning around is limitless. He also has a cool temper that will take a lot before bursting. But when it does burst, he can be terrifying. However, like Elora, he doesn’t hold grudges for too long and will apologize. That aside, he is a patient and caring friend. He’d give advice and do his best to help someone in a bind. That is why no matter how long the period between each of his rare visits, the members would always patiently wait for him filled with just as much anticipation as they had the last time.

Yuki: His confidence is so high I’d call it pride. But I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t a bit envious or fond of it. He’s got moves too (also one of the things I’m jealous of). With all the wise words and guidance he’d drop on us like some sort of nuclear bomb in WWII, it’s easy to forget that he too can be fragile at times.

Sophia

Nicknames: Yukiko, Yuki, Snowie, Sunshine and Granny

Posts including Sophia will be tagged with #yuki.

She’s a religious gal with a caring heart. Do not be fooled by her seemingly aloof appearance for she is a huge, clumsy dork. Remember not to aggravate her. Her strength is a force to be reckoned with. She tries to be more fit, often sparking the fire in the rivalry between her and Derek. Even with that fact, she still eats a lot of spicy food, sometimes going out of her way to drown her ulam in chili. She is a fashionista at heart, despite what she lets on. Last to enter a fandom and the last one to leave it. She is also fond of jokes, puns being one of her favorite types. Loyal and loving, she’ll stay a friend through the toughest of times. She also enjoys minimalistic art and Pinterest.

Elo: Well that was way easier to write than I expected.

Yuki: You darn lil sweetheart, you pressured me.

Elo: Oops, sorry bby.

Elora

Nicknames: E, Elo, Eloroll, Ero-chan, Zurithia Xeliquana, Iron Board and Zuri

Posts including Elora will be tagged with #zuri.

This charming chocoholic has caught the often unwanted eyes of lots of boys (and sometimes girls) at her school. It is really no wonder why for her sweetness is as great as the chocolates she loves so dearly. It reaches to a point that most of the time, she can’t bring her heart to straight up tell someone annoyingly hitting on her when she’s a little too tired for a chat. She’s a fond of sweets but she’s even more fond of salty food. She’s very supportive of her friends and is usually lively. Her greatest weaknesses include cute things and spicy food. She can be forgetful at times and she really hates it when people say anything about her height. But it’s hard for her to stay mad at anyone for too long. It’s in her nature. She’s a very loving, thoughtful, and optimistic friend that lots of people would definitely fight for to befriend and to keep happy. One can always, always count on her to make anyone feel better even without words.

Yuki: She loves shipping countries and musicals too. Definitely an active tumblerist. Sinnamon roll. Ya think she’s just all cute? Yes, she is. An alpha sister being tough and cool. But know this, if she ever did something to you, believe me when I say it’s going to be very hard to be angry at her for more than 3 minutes and if she’s ever sad, you’d kill to turn that frown upside down. She’s that easy to love and hard to drop which is often a bother to both of us because some people who really won’t drop her end up choking her.

Elo: *SCREAMING* BBY WHY??? OMG PLS MY SINS- YOU SAY YOU GOT PRESSURED BUT YOU BUST OUT THIS FANFIC! THIS WENT TOO DEEP > /// < MAYDAY MAYDAY ELOROLL HAS LOST CONTACT

Yuki:  Love you.

Maricris

Nicknames: Mari, Chrissy, and Leonia

Posts including Maricris will be tagged with #mari.

An intelligent and academically competitive student. But don’t you think she’s plain and dull just because of her passion for science. The dancer deep within her is anything but that. Not only is she great with keeping up with the music but she’s also a great actress and singer. Though she freezes up when it comes to singing in front of crowds, she has no problem showcasing her wonderful talent in theater and dancing. Her love for food is only bounded by chocolate and ruled by pretzels.

Yuki: Real fun and amazing person to discuss with about debatable topics—social, religious, political, scientific—anything. She’s got great facts to give away too. She becomes very enthusiastic when it comes to the people she’s got a crush on too. By the way, she’s the one who made our header.

Elo: Doesn’t she have just the most awesome editing skills??? :DDD

Hanna

Nicknames: Nee-tan, Sharina, and Flour

Posts including Hanna will be tagged with #hanna.

She’s a junior high school classmate of Elora’s. She’s fond of cute things and is very fickle. Once she likes another thing, she’ll immediately switch to that. She also likes makeup and trying out different hairstyles. She doesn’t often get to do either though due to her religion, Islam. She has a boyfriend named Paul who thinks that her small stature is adorable. Despite her height, she tries to be badass, often failing. As a way to prove that she is indeed badass, she plays League of Legends.

Elo: The friends whom she often plays with say that she is not good at the game. Whether she is good or not remains to be seen.

Yuki: She good a dancer. The variety of the hijabs she wear each day and how she copes with the heat never fails to amaze me.

Elo: Ooh! Building up on that, she rarely takes off her jacket. Like, even in scorching hot weather. She says it’s hotter with it off??? She really doesn’t like direct sunlight.

Miles

Nicknames: Derek, and Derk

Posts including Derek will be tagged with #derek.

An aspiring researcher with a beautiful singing voice. He’s an avid fan of Eurovision and has been trying to improve his art skills. He’s an ambitious young lad with great determination for his goals and living a healthy life is one of them (just like the competitive Sophia). He can be a bit prideful of himself sometimes but he’s just a huge loveable dork with big dreams and good amount of belief in oneself.

Yuki: Family friend since first grade, really fun guy. Quite the eccentric - one of the major requirements for the group. He’s a minecraft former SU fan kid by the way.

Edzon

Nicknames: Eddy, Alistaire, Ali, the most handsome person you will ever meet, and Alien

Posts including Edzon will be tagged as #eddy.

He’s a jokester with a habit of flirting with people he’s interested in. It seems like his style of joking consists of well-cultivated jokes that often times leave one thinking. Jordan and Edzon are known to have been classmates at one point in time. His location as of now is unknown as he often flies off to one place or another, possibly due to his job.

Elo: He’s also fond of using kaomojis with English characters such as (but not limited to): - w - , - o - , and e - e.

Yuki: His confidence is as annoying as FD’s. Pretty laidback but when it comes to people who mean a lot to him, he’s quite the opposite. He can be thoughtful at times though. He wasn’t much of an FB user but according to his friends, he’d become a little more active in it ever since he became a part of the group.

Elo: He’s also really sweet! <3

Rudy

Nicknames: Piece of Crud (PC)

Posts including Rudy will be tagged as #rudy.

He’s a Korean who is twins with Ruby. He has been known to roleplay (in fact, that’s how he and Elora met!). He often portrays himself as mean and perverted. But from the observations of the group members, he’s a sweetheart who just doesn’t want to get close to anyone in fear of being left alone.

Elo: He’s a real piece of work, he is. At his worst, he could kill a man. He has been suspended for fighting with his the principal’s son of his school. However, the said son threatened to hurt Ruby. You can imagine what happened next. At his best however, he’s the nicest, most thoughtful person ever. He even saved all the pictures that was sent in MEOW (even if he denies it.)

Yuki: Real life tsundere boi. He’s a brutal prankster too. Oh and surprising fact, he dances ballet. Actually, he dances a variety of styles but still, ballet.

Ruby

Nicknames: Gemmie

Posts including Ruby will be tagged as #ruby.

The angel of the group that rarely goes online but not as rare as the adults, Jordan and Edzon. She’s the female of the Kang twins and just like Rudy, she loves and cares about her sibling just as much as he does even though she’s the usual target of Rudy’s freaky pranks.The only difference is, she’s a lot more open and honest about that part. She doesn’t like it when her brother gets judged too quickly and she’s always the first to defend him. She rarely gets mad at anyone but when she does, it can be quite unsettling. She holds grudges but forgiveness is not something that’s hard to come by her. Nevertheless, she’s the sweetest and purest person in the group and the guilt will haunt you for the rest of your days if you’ve ever mader her upset.

Yuki:  Angel is no exaggeration cuz she literally is one. It’s really hard to make her mad, just to let you know( as long as it’s not about her brother that is) so don’t worry ‘bout her hating you. Like Rudy, she dances too and she’s got a knack at it..

Aimee

Nicknames: Aim, Shotgun, and Gun

Posts including Aimee will be tagged as #shotgun.

She’s the youngest and newest member of the group. A great artist. Much is yet to be known by her and prior to Miles's request (and interest), she was added. We've had our doubts about her but looking back, our conditions are pretty much better than the ones Rudy has put us all through. And so far, the group have had quite a grand time with the lass and are looking forward to get to know the fun little gal more.

Elo: We will link her art blog here once she makes one! (If we fail to do so, someone please remind us.)

Yuki: Very great artist. Had a DA once but she gan move here now—internet’s hell hole.

#nyandom #meow #introduction #jordan #yuki #zuri #mari #hanna #derek #eddy #rudy #ruby #shotgun #meowgang #meow gang #might change and will be updated