#why am i sharing this?

[wren-writes-things]

Not sure how this is possible but I’m pretty sure my abnormally high self confidence the past week was actually fueled by anxiety.

My theory is that I was avoiding my emotions by distracting myself and in the process became really tired because I just kind of didn’t sleep (because hyperfixation + anxiety). And those two modes morphed into a being of utter chaos. Which would also explain why any time I started writing longer texts I just couldn’t finish them, because it wasn’t a mode conducive to that.

#why am I sharing this? #well I mostly just find it interesting #like the fact that I could be in both states simultaneously is kind of cool #also I needed to say something to someone because it is distracting me from homework and getting my thoughts down I figured would help #wren rambles

[tulowitzki]

i live in a small space and this is my efficient but shameful closet that i shove everything i can in. there's a christmas tree box behind those sweatshirts

#why am i sharing this? #idk but a glimpse into my life

[bvmbl3b0x]

when people hear me say my ex gf is a bitch i think they hear “RAAAA MY EX GF IS A BITCH IM AN ALFA MAAAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEE” and not “my ex gf is the reason i’m scared of the dark”

#dark humor #trauma jokes #scared of the dark #why am i sharing this? #idk #raaaaaaa

[tittysuckersworld]

love reading hirt comfort cause my brain gose through the same sorta works each time

oh boy oh ouch im gonna regret this

*angxy about sad coming*

oh no

oh crud*crying*

all is hell and pain and hole in chest aches

when will this be over???? when will my suffering end!

ooga boonga heheheheheheh yesss hehehehehehe comfort hehe

*to brother* guess what? got to the comfort whegegegegege

now to find another one-

and or cycle breaks and i stop reading hurt comfort for a month or smth

#why am i sharing this? #cause its fun and i like hurt comfort/heavy story stuff only sometimes #pains of feelings

[ainyan]

The Dream

Master, I had a dream.

Feh, girl, I told ye t’ stop callin’ me that. Now, what kinda dream’d ye have? Th’ scary kind, or th’ kind as has you wanting to visit that boy in Whitecomb again? Hah! Look at that blush.

You’re a rotten old man, and I don’t know why I put up with you. No, master. It felt… different.

Tell me, girl.

It started on the Way to the East…

The cottage sat in a small copse of trees on the dividing line between mountains and plains. It lay close enough to the nearest Aeyiri stronghold that those who dwelt within knew they could find aid and succor should they require it - or provide it should it be required of them - and yet still have the privacy necessary to their lives.

From the front stoop ran a trail, twisting through the trees, following the course of a deer path that had been laid long before the foundations of the cottage. Beneath the shadows of the ancient oak boughs it stretched until the trees came to an end and the plains began. Still, the path marched onwards, straight across the waving grasses, past the winding watercourses, until it met with the Great Way.

The Way stretched far beyond sight to both East and West, joining the Eastern Ocean to the Western Sea and connecting the Tribal Territories to the Tri-Fold Lands, creating the belt of Balanced Lands that ran across the middle of the vast continent, keeping Order’s Ertrusca and Chaos’s Andomidys separated.

Footprints pressed into the hard-packed dirt, stirred through the dust that swirled across its surface. No traveler walked this Way, but still the footprints stretched onwards towards the distant East, appearing one by one in steady progression. They never paused, never hesitated, marching forward until they met the horizon, and still they continued to go.

The Way flowed like a rushing river towards the East, crossing the Endless Plains until they, ironically, ended, butting up against the Heartwood that formed the border between the two halves of the Balanced Lands. It continued on through the trees, following the carefully planned pathway laid out through the new and transplanted growth overseen by the shamans who had made it their task to revitalize lands left in ruins by the Conflagration.

It paused at the Crossing - the series of rafts and pulleys that spanned the vast Tears of the Mother as they flowed down from the rocky precipices that made up the World’s Crown, still chilled from their start in the icy waters of the vast lake known as the Eye of the Mother. The vagaries of the river made creating a permanent solution impossible, but with water-aspected beastkin to man the floats, none were ever lost in crossing.

Past the Tears, one left the Territories for the Tri-Fold Lands. Although many  beast-aspected had migrated across the Crossing both before and since the Conflagration, the primary races within these lands were not tribal, but rather human, elven, and dwarven. Under the Balance, however, all were welcome who did not harbor anger or viciousness in their hearts; even adherents of Order and Chaos were known to dwell amidst the peoples of the Balanced Lands, provided they did naught to disrupt the peace.

The Way continued to wind past the Tears through the other side of the Heartwood and out onto the Farmlands - a banal name, but one that aptly described the vast, rolling fields and orchards and pastures that covered the heart of the Tri-Fold Lands - their wealth and their salvation. This fertile land stretching for miles in every direction fed not only the Balanced Lands, but Ertrusca and Andomidys as well; even during the worst of the war, food was never withheld from those in need.

The Balance did not suffer the innocent to pay for the crimes of their leaders.

Through three villages did the Way run - Whieskat’s Run, Twintree, and Jasker’s Crossing, before it came to an abrupt halt at a wall. There had been many walls alongside the Way as it ran from West to East, but never had one crossed it. And yet here, just shy of the Eastern Sea, a wall stood in the Way’s way, the vast doors spanning the roadway barred, red-gold wood bound in iron, with the Scales of Balance burned deep into their face.

She reached forth with a hand swirling with stars, a night sky encased within her flesh. Pinpoints of light swirled beneath her indigo skin as she laid her fingertips against the door, closed her eyes, and breathed a word. “Live.”

The Wood warmed beneath her fingers, the bar sinking into the door, unsealing it at her command. The iron bands protested as the gates swung open ponderously, admitting her to a vast ruin of a once-proud city. Everywhere she looked, there was dirt and ash and tumbled stone. Bones crunched beneath her feet; it was impossible to step without treading on remains. Her heart ached for those dead who lay unburied, forgotten amidst the ruins of their bastion.

Around her, towers crumbled, dust-choked and time-worn. To gaze around this city, once teeming with life, the thousand towers spearing proudly skyward now naught but ruins and debris, one would think these ruins decades, even centuries old, the unsanctified dead all that kept the land from reclaiming what once belonged to it.

But it had not yet been seven years since these towers stood, formed of living stone and wood and raised not only through the hand of man, but the land as well, a testament to the strength of the Balance between the living world and those who inhabited these lands. Their collapse was a testament too - to the awesome and terrible power of Time in the hands of a zealot, his magic fed by the vast host of the blindly faithful and the deaths of a thousand stalwart souls.

And so, as the towers had fallen, so too had the Scales fallen, one by one, cut down without hesitation as they defended the people and land. She knew this; all knew this - it was but recent history, the horror of it still writ large even in her own lands, where great swaths of blackened dirt where little could grow still marred the verdant Plains.

She had never seen Thalanost - now called Thanalost. She’d heard tales of its wonders, of its gleaming towers overlooking the Eastern Sea - of the Archives, repository of the Scales’ millenia-long search for all knowledge worth knowing - of the First Wood, the first of the Mother’s Living Trees to give forth her Wood that the shamans of Balance might commune with Her directly. But if she’d ever been there, ever witnessed these wonders first hand, those memories were long swallowed by the Wood.

And yet, she trod its broken streets as if she’d known them all her life, her steps carrying her sure and swift to the far wall which overlooked the Eastern Sea. And there rose the seven unbroken towers of Thanalost. No - not unbroken, for each was damaged in its own way - but unbent, unbowed, even amidst such calamity.

One stood, whole but blackened, burned and gutted by a fire that had started within and raged outwards, consuming everything but the shell. It clung to its form by sheer will alone, but what had been inside was now nothing; little remained of what it had once been. But beneath the smoke and ash and soot, the foundations still stood, solid and whole.

Next to it, a second tower leaned drunkenly, nearly abutting against its charred brother as it listed to the side, stones sagging beneath the burden of supporting its weight. The mortar cracked and crazed, the stones creaked and groaned, but they held steadfast, determined not to fall.

A third tower stood some yards distant, enveloped by the mists off the Eastern Sea. The cool fog surrounded it, a cloaking spray that coated its pale golden stone with dampness. Within that screening haze, it was difficult to make out the defining features of the tower; that it existed, however, there was no doubt.

The fourth of seven - whole and strong - shone brightly, as visible as its sister was shrouded. Although it shone from within, there was no obvious source for its illumination; power simply radiated through the untouched mortar, poured from gold-and-silver stone, vast and free, yet constrained to obedience through its own will.

Of the last three remaining towers, none stood whole, though all stood yet proud. The fifth tower shone as did its fourth sister, but it was not power that blazed forth from its earthen-hued stones, but rather sheer strength of will. This was a tower determined not to fall at any costs, though its underpinnings listed and dipped, weighed down by the burden of Time.

The sixth sagged, stones drooping inwards, underpinnings compressed beneath the weight of the upper reaches of the tower. Although it seemed at any moment ready to collapse inward, burdened and top heavy, still it stood, too stubborn to give in to the demands of natural law.

And the seventh stood in the shadow of the first, barely noticeable - and yet it was to this unpresuming tower, silver and white stone ragged and crumbling around foundations of solid, shining steel, that her steps drew her ever onward. At the base of the tower stood a door, red-gold Living Wood trimmed in iron. She laid her hand against it, feeling it warm beneath her touch, and spoke a word. “Live.”

The doors did not open. The Wood pulsed against her palm, a steady heartbeat, but it did not otherwise respond to her command.

Startled, she started to withdraw her hand, but found herself unable to pull free of the Wood’s embrace. It kept a hold of her hand, refusing to release her. She could sense its waiting impatience, and exhaled. “Live!” she commanded it again.

Still the Wood did not yield, nor did it release her; only continued to throb against her palm in time with her own heartbeat, awaiting the proper word for entry. She closed her eyes and wracked her brain, but nothing seemed right…

Her lips parted, her voice spoke. A single word, in ringing, strident tones.

And the door opened.

And so did her eyes.

It felt so real, master.

Because it was. Ah, my child, how swiftly you learn and grow. Your Dream has come.

You seem unhappy, master.

Unhappy? No. No. It is earlier than I expected, but I should not be surprised. The Wood knows that I have not much time left to teach you what you need to know.

Master! Don’t speak so.

My sweet Kal, my precious child, you know the truth as well as I. And the Wood has shown it to be so, if it steps in to guide you now. Come, girl, don’t cry. I’m not on my deathbed yet! There is still much for you to learn; do not think this gets you out of lessons.

Ah, master, you see me too well.

Of course I do. You are my daughter. Now. Let me see your sword and shield.

#original fiction #why am I sharing this? #will probably delete

[azure-horizons]

Pro: I can sleep literally anywhere at anytime of day

Con: if I am within one meter of a breathing thing I will mentally explode and never sleep

#why am i sharing this? #anyways #i cant even sleep next to fish #plants are good though

[paradoxiusblack]

So I know nobody probably cares but you know the custom pillows I got?

:readmore:

Yeah those ones...

I got them from this amazing website called allaboutvibe. You can get there with this link

allaboutvibe.com

Their concept as a company is actually really cool being able to put just about any picture onto both square and custom shaped pillows. Unfortunately the larger pillows can be a bit pricey. Now I don't mean to purposely advertise them or anything but I figured I would just leave my referral link here. Apparently it's good for a 25% discount or something. Not that I expect anyone to actually use it. (I guess it's just in case you decide to buy a pillow and want a discount.)

This was just on my mind the other day.

(Again thanks to @pokemon-ash-aus and @xxtc-96xx for the actual designs on the majority of the pillows I have so far. They deserve just as much credit for the pictures on the pillows)

#mewtwo pillows #pillow collection #giant pillow #allaboutvibe #custom pillow #random stuff #not sponsored #pokemon ash aus #tc 96 #mewtwo #the yellow two #discount #referal link #why am i sharing this? #i must be insane #i don't expect anyone to actually use the link #honestly I'm surprised i waited so long #probably for good reason #also if you're especially clever you might learn my first name #anyway #enjoy your day

[yeslordmyking]

My prayer is that God leads Jackson Wang through this life and to the gates of Heaven. That he is dedicated to God, keeping Him first and obeying His word. That Jackson seeks God in everything he does so he can live his life in the best possible way. That my prayers aren't in vain and they truly are heard by God who will answer yes to them, even if I never know about it. If I never hear another song, read another interview, see another picture of Jackson again, I can have peace in my heart to let go if that's what God is telling me to do. That I can trust that God is taking care of him in ways I don't know to ask for. That keeping this love in my heart isn't selfish and I can continue to believe that all the good and beautiful things I see in him can be cherished because God put them there, and created Jackson to be a beautiful thing that serves Him, and has a home in Heaven because of the light he shined for the Lord.

Amen

#if i can speak of him one last time i just want this for his soul. to be in rightstanding with God. for his life to be pleasing to the Lord #if i can share one secret this year is that I'll ask God for this every day #if i can keep one true thing about myself that i don't have to discard it's my care for Jackson even if I'm the only one who wants it #i still wait for the day it doesn't feel terrifying to see the good in another human being. all i can do is pray that in the end it's true #i can't get rid of my love for him so i just ask the most almighty God to ensure that he's someone good to love #dare i use these words so frivolously again? i love you jackson wang. at least i hope i do. and I hope God isn't upset with me for it #got7 jackson #jackson wang #jackson #ultimate bias #got7 #team wang #kpop #cpop #jackson wang you are my only true love #👑be my king and i'll be your princess👑 #my baby boo #i love you jackson. is it ok? #super secret fanfirl queue #why am i sharing this?

[sudoscience]

I think I've been on this site too long. Yesterday, I had these cream cheese blintzes for breakfast, and I cut into them and all the cream cheese shplooshed out, and you know what I thought? "When my werewolf boyfriend pulls out"

I hate it here. I'm never going to leave

#why am i sharing this? #hellsite (affectionate)

[thelionshymnal]

well i did it. managed to get some ofmd wips started that exist now in limbo. woo woo. look forward to these haunting me for months.

stizzy sugar daddy au

Rehearsal was, in a word: abominable. Stede has been nursing a ringing headache from Roach’s enthusiasm since noon, confounded two-fold by The Swede’s sudden stage fright and Black Pete’s penchant for being a gloryhound. Stede respects an actor’s vim and vigor to fight for the spotlight, really he does, but must Black Pete be such a veritable roadblock about Stede’s casting choices? 

It leaves Stede tired and frustrated. So he calls out, “Izzy, darling!” and claps his hands sharply twice, head throbbing at the noise. He winces. “Time to earn your keep!”

There’s a loud bang from farther in the apartment. Stede leaves his bag and keys by the door, making a beeline for the living room so that he can collapse in a morose heap upon his armchair, legs outstretched. Izzy emerges from the bedroom with a sneer on his face, all buttoned up and sleek and sharp in his three piece suit. “You say shit like this on purpose, right?” he asks, stomping over to the rug beneath Stede’s loafers. He kneels, aggressively taking them off of Stede’s poor, aching feet. “You have to. Fucking- you do know how fucked up that sounds, right?”

and some...i dunno, super dramatic gentlebeard stuff

They drink even though it’s foolish. They are too tumultuous, too jagged at their edges to fit neatly together except in fits and starts. Stede loses control of his longing and touches Ed’s wrist. Ed flinches, nearly knocking over his lonesome chair. His wary gaze in the candlelight is haunted, a punch to Stede’s gut. So he bites at his still busted lip so as to not say anything, to remain still and quiet, and retracts his hand; takes another swig of rum and offers it to Ed. 

Ed’s fingers graze his knuckles; his hand fits around Stede’s on the bottle- raising both their arms as he lifts it up to drink.

“Darling,” Stede says, lip throbbing.

Ed says back, “Shhh.”

They drink some more, sip by sip, edging closer with every swallow.

#lion-chats #i really miss eljay cuts lol #why am i sharing this? #because i am still not writing properly enough #and i get self-indulgent when that happens lol #also i'm too shy to share on twitter but tumblr is fair game

[ambrosia-ghostie]

i took too much vyvanse so i guess i'm not sleep well tonight (if at all)

but my 2 hour and 20 minute commute includes a one hour train ride so i can nap then (or brb at work a few times to nap intermittently on the toilet)

i make questionable choices...

#i don't even know #why am i sharing this? #time to log off #but not really

[bvmbl3b0x]

TW: MENTION OF SA

y’all keep talking about realizing how bad your childhood was, i just realized how bad it was when in october my friends forced me to tell them that my ex gf SAd me then continued to tell her i told them when i asked them not to because she was still in our friend group. AND THEY STILL HANG OUT WITH HER

#vent ish #trauma jokes #just realized #that was fucked up #i need new friends #why am i sharing this?

[rippeanuts1950-2000]

YouTube Music has been showing me weird and disturbing animated milk ads. Like once a month I get these disturbing ads. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve filmed a few of them. My personal favorite is the pixelated, jacked milk bottle with a nipple ring.

Another interesting one would be the time I witnessed a milk carton drink itself. As well as the gallon of milk that put on a costume and became a superhero.

I’m lactose intolerant so idk why it thinks I want to drink milk and be told that milk is thicker than water and that it can help me get jacked.

#Random #why am I sharing this? #Because I’m bored and this is funny #Let me know if you want to see the ones I recorded #Fair warning the quality is crappy but it gets the job done

[kiwi]

everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone ur real name and that was just understood as basic internet safety. plus having a screen name is fun because sometimes it sticks so well that it becomes part of ur identity that u can use in whatever facet of ur life you choose. it rocks to pick your own name

#im living proof! i wasnt always called kiwi but now i am and it rocks #but mostly im just worried about all these kids wayyy oversharing personal info online #not to be like aaaggghh kids these days. but. #um people are sharing their full names and schools and deepest secrets with their FACE ATTACHED #i surely dont need to explain why thats scary #tiktok trends where u share stuff you would Never tell people irl.... WITH!!! YOUR FACE!!!!! IN FULL VIEW!! #WHHH.... WHY........... #Get Scared of Internet Strangers Again Please!

[katetorias]

there is something so horrible about destroying churches, or any place of worship. im not even religious. it’s about the fact that people were so devoted, put so much effort into building and decorating and just experiencing this part of their life, that they hold so important. and all that effort is taken away by a fucking bomb

I find religion beautiful, and it’s harrowing to see these things happening in PaIestine and no one cares. suddenly now no one cares about religion or the importance of religious monuments

#religious monuments are important they are beautiful they are symbols of what matters to the people who made it #they are history #rambles #I hate this #I know I’m privileged to even be talking about this from my apartment but that’s why I’m doing it anyway #it’s easy to feel powerless because I mostly am #but I’ll keep sharing every thing I can #free palestine

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

#adhd #actually adhd #i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment. #1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj #i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me. #edit: pages 80-85 #edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction #keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it #if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to #expand someone’s access to a paper like this