#why would zero risk their life like that on this game....why are they playing the game with them..........if this is all a revenge plan

[tapioca-puddingg]

One, the Goddess of Diligence: A Drakengard 3 Analysis

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Hey, it's been a while since I've done one of these. I took a break from doing these long analyses in favor of shorter and quicker content just because it's easier on my brain. I apologize to those that I may have kept waiting with this one, but I'm back now.

If you're new to my blog, I post analyses about video game characters that I think are interesting, amongst other things. This is my Seven Deadly Sins/Heavenly Virtues series of Drakengard 3. And do be sure to like, reblog or leave a comment if you enjoy my insane ramblings.

"Facing the people crowding the streets, I gave a wave from atop my steed. This caused them to cheer even louder, and I felt the animal tense beneath me. I am not fond of horses due to their strong odor, but in this case I could sympathize with the beast. We were both being forced to parade our way from the harbor towards the cathedral. I would have preferred to have snuck back after sunset; I wanted to be alone. My mind, exhausted from battle, sorely needed a rest. But I was not allowed to be so selfish. It was my duty as an Intoner to symbolize order and peace having returned to the world, even if that meant being made a spectacle of. And how could the innocent people know that their cries of elation were causing me, with my heightened senses, to feel as if my head were being split in two?"

One is the second eldest Intoner sister and is the head of the Cathedral City. As the second eldest, she is the leader of the Intoner sisters. She is level-headed, intelligent, and capable. Not to mention the fact that she is well-respected by her younger sisters. Of the Intoner sisters, One is the most interesting in my opinion. She's the only Intoner that becomes self-aware and questions the world around her.

As with the others, One's novella gives us more insight into her thought processes, as well as her struggles and curiosities. She behaves as you'd expect; calm, composed, deliberate, thoughtful, calculated. Every move she makes has an intent and a purpose, and her logic is always sound. As I said a second ago, she’s the only Intoner to question their collective existence; where they came from, why they’re so powerful, etc. Her assessment of her sisters is objective, as she sees the good and the bad in all of them. As such, she does her best to position them for success as leaders in each of their respective lands, and tries to play to their individual strengths. For instance, she tasks Two with governing the Land of Sands in hopes that her optimistic nature could lift the spirits of the citizens, given how hard life in the Land of Sands is.

And yet, One has her own struggles, just like any of us would. Each Intoner deals with a certain bodily aspect that continuously grows at an alarming rate. Two's physical strength/muscles, Three's hair, Four's fingernails, Five's breasts, and One's senses continue to grow far faster than that of a normal human. For One, it is easy for her to become overstimulated due to her heightened sense of smell, hearing, touch, taste, and sight. The taste of food is too intense, the body odor of humans and animals are too strong, and even the feeling of clothes on her body can be uncomfortable. It's the reason why she's always in solitude. Damn, she just like me fr. Anyway, on top of having to shoulder so much responsibility on her own due to Zero's absence, she also is having to battle with heightened senses that hinder her everyday life. That takes a lot of strength.

"A disciple is a tool for battle. But it didn’t feel right using someone else as a weapon. So instead, I created a copy of myself. And since it was a copy… no matter what happened to it, it would always forgive me. Or I would forgive myself, I suppose. I used the Cathedral’s magical energy to infuse my copy with disciple-like powers. More than enough to take on the lords of these lands. Thus, I gained a partner I could rely on. And a way to forgive myself for what I had to do."

Not counting Zero, One was the only Intoner to not be given a disciple. She created Brother One from one of her ribs as both a combat partner and a failsafe in case she died. She also admits in her Prologue that she was lonely, so I'm sure that also may have been a factor in this decision. One is also vastly introspective, always pondering over philosophical or moral dilemmas. She notes the benefits of having a disciple and lists her sisters' main motivators in their lives: sex, honor, cruelty, and romance respectively. But she struggles to answer what it is that she truly desires in this life. In being the primary leader, she's bound by so much responsibility and duty that she doesn't really get to be herself, whatever that may mean. She always has to put the needs of everyone else before herself.

"You pretend to be all grown-up and mature, but you haven’t changed since childhood. We all need some kind of mental support, you know? Even Intoners. Heck, you probably need it MORE than the rest of us." "I suppose there’s some truth to that. Perhaps we’re weaker than we’d like to admit." "Aw, come ON! You’re supposed to get all mad and yell and stuff! I don’t like this pensive you. Quit messing with my head!"

Gabriella, being the boss bitch that she is, calls out One for shouldering too much responsibility on her own. One agrees with this, which, surprisingly, catches Gabriella off guard. What I find really interesting is that she says, "I don't like this pensive you." This implies that One used to respond negatively to Gabriella's brutal honesty but has grown since then.

And speaking of Gabriella, I wanna talk about her for a bit before I move on. Her personality so unique from all the other characters in the game. It feels like if you took a person from the real world and plopped them into a video game. They say that a dragon can see a person's heart, their true nature. And she always lives up to that expectation. The One/Gabriella partnership is almost opposite to the Zero/Mikhail partnership. Mikhail is a literal child and Zero is sort of motherly to him. She softens up to Mikhail more and more as you progress through the other branches. Even though their dynamic is short-lived, Gabriella is like an aunt. She doesn't mince words, but I got the impression that she does care about One at least a little bit. She sees some good in her. So that has me wondering, what the hell happened to her? By the time the main game starts, Gabriella has been replaced by Gabriel, and Zero states that he's a demon dragon whose power has been enhanced to fight off her and Mikhail. She was about to talk about the consequence of doing such a thing, but she trailed off before the line was finished. One of the last things Gabriella says is that she's the boss of her own fate. With her being so headstrong, I can't imagine her going along with being transformed in this way. Perhaps she agreed to do it because she grew to trust One? We may never know this tidbit.

"If you think you’re the only one suffering here, you’re out of your goddamn mind! Two, Three, Four, Five… You gave life to each and every one of them. Then you went and killed them all! What did you expect? Cursing the world then saving the world. You thought you could do everything by yourself? Well, THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKING GET!"

As for the events of the main game, she is the voice of authority, as usual. By the end of Branch A, she's killed by Zero and is then killed by Two in Branch B. But come Branch C and D is where things get more interesting. By both branches, One is completely self-aware. She knows that the Intoners originate from Zero and that the Flower won't stop until it destroys the world. One has reached the same conclusion as Zero in that the Intoners should not exist, as they pose a major threat to the world. However, this is where they clash. Their goals lie within their names. Zero wants all the Intoners to be killed, including herself. One believes that she herself should be the only surviving Intoner. Maybe that's why the two of them share the same color scheme: they're more similar than they are different.

One hopes that her and Zero are able to understand each other since they both have a mutual understanding of their place in the world. But Zero of course shuts down the idea, calling her an "offshoot." Despite literally fighting for her life, she remained calm for a lot of this fight, but she does break her composure in the above quote. It's about time. She points out the contradictory nature of the situation, the fact that Zero created the Intoners just to destroy them in the end. She's technically not wrong, but we know that it's not the whole truth.

I mentioned One's loneliness earlier, and another wrinkle in this is the fact that she becomes the only sentient Intoner. Throughout the entire main story, she's aware of the aforementioned info about their link to the Flower, but she keeps it to herself. Maybe she thinks that her sisters wouldn't understand. And during the later branches, when the other Intoners start to become driven insane by the Flower's influence, she's the only one to remain sane. By sheer willpower alone! She is killed in all branches, never getting to bring peace to this world the way she envisioned. I start to feel bad for her when I think about it like this.

Because I gave her the title of the Goddess of Diligence, this would make her a foil to Three, as diligence and sloth are opposites. Both women have proven to be highly intelligent and curious. The difference being the way they wield their knowledge, right? Three constantly uses her intelligence for her own self-indulgence, without a thought or care of the people she's victimized. One, whether you agree with her actions or not, does what she believes is the right thing for the greater good of humanity.

Her last appearance is in the Final Song. Because she is an odd number, her dance is asymmetrical. One is usually so composed, and yet here she is, thrashing and flailing about. She's not at all timed to the music, nor is there a direction. Her movements are more controlled than Three's, for instance. But not as controlled as the others. Almost seems as if she's fighting. Fighting for control of her fate? Fighting for the peace that she envisioned? Perhaps fighting for her own autonomy.

TLDR: One was an intelligent, capable leader that only sought to do the right thing. Because Zero had no intention of being a leader, she was given a mountain of responsibilities to bear alone, until she created Brother One. She was also someone that dealt with her share of loneliness, as well as overwhelming sensory issues. She died by Zero's hand and shared the same fate as her other sisters, never getting to enact the peace that she wanted.

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Phew! I changed things up this time around bc I felt that it flowed better this way. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoyed it. And I do apologize again for those that had to wait such a long time for this. I promise that I never forgot about these analyses, I just put them off bc they require a lot of brain power. Anyways tho, that's the post. Dunno when I'll start doing Zero's, but it'll probably be in two or three parts. Thanks again, until the next post!

#drakengard #drakengard 3 #dod3 #drag on dragoon #drag on dragoon 3 #intoner #intoners #intoner one #square enix #yoko taro #analysis #videogamewomen

[love2write2626]

Our Love in a Rogue Nation 8 (Final Chapter)

Chapter 8

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Those are the words on repeat in my mind. I should have known better, Ethan is probably so disappointed in me, not only am I risking the outcome of this mission, I’m also putting many more people at risk.

I looked over at Ilsa, of course not only am I sitting in the middle of a restaurant with a bomb strapped to me, but she was sent to keep watch.

“You know, you put your own self in this position, I would never be stupid enough to do what you did” she said in a condescending tone. I decided it was best to just ignore her, I am sitting on a pressure trigger and just a small amount of weight change will set it off. I let out a deep breath, and that’s when I felt his presence. Ethan, was here. I felt him put his hand on my shoulder and Ilsa quickly said “Careful” he ignored her and looked deep into my eyes

“I’m here baby” he said I went to smile but shuddered when Lane’s voice spoke through my ear piece

“This is the end Mr. Hunt” I repeated, Ethan started looking me up and down, he saw the ear piece, and the contact in my eye. He reached over to move my jacket, to see what he already knew was there and Ilsa said

“Careful”

“Two pounds of Semtex, five hundred .30 caliber ball bearings. Your girlfriend is sitting on a highly sensitive pressure trigger… so no sudden moves” I repeated everything that Lane said to me. Ethan looked around the restaurant and then back at Ilsa and she showed him her gun.

“Your final test” he said to her

“When Lane has what he wants I kill you and Ashley, if not… everyone dies” I saw the worry in his eyes I wanted to jump up and pull him into my arms, but then I heard Lane’s voice again

“No time to think Ethan, have a seat please” Ethan moved to sit in the chair across from me “Human nature, my weapon of choice. From the moment I killed the woman in the record shop I knew you would stop at nothing to find me. I also knew Ilsa wouldn’t have a choice. Whether she broke you that night you met or she let you go. Whether you let her go in Morocco, whether she went to Atlee or not…” Lane was cut short by Ethan finishing his sentence.

“You were certain we’d end up where we are right now” he looked up and added “Then, again. So was I” he moved closer and gently grabbed my hand before continying his speech to Lane “I know you, somewhere along the line you had a crisis of faith. Human life didn’t matter anymore. Or maybe it never did, you killed too many innocent people, without ever asking who was giving the orders or why. You blame the system for what you are. Not, not yourself. You wanted revenge. But Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day. You needed help, you needed money, a lot of it. And you will stop at nothing to get it… that’s how I know I’m going to put you in a box” I heard Lane take a deep breath and I could tell he is becoming annoyed

“Where’s the disk?” Lane asked

“You like to play games, I have a game for you. How about 50 million to let Ashley go?” he held up a napkin that had a routing number on it. It was silent for a few moments and then I heard

“Where is the disk?”

“You’re looking at it, I am the disk, I memorized all 2.4 billion in numbered accounts. If that vest goes off you get nothing. Without me, you’re nothing” I heard lane let out a little chuckle “Right now you’re thinking it’s a bluff, I’d never let anything happen to her. I couldn’t possibly memorize the entire disk… there’s only one way to be sure let Ashley go.” My heart started to race, I knew based on the beeping that it was getting closer to zero. I started to breath hard, and I felt tears running down my face. At almost zero the countdown stopped, and I let out a deep breath. Lane’s men who had been lurking in the shadows, started moving closer “If they come any closer shoot me” he said to Ilsa.

“Ethan No!” I said, he gave me a angry warning look and I put my head down, he’s probably so upset with me for doing something this stupid

“The only way this ends Lane, is you and me face, to face. Except this time I won’t be in a glass box. If you want your money the bone doctor is going to have to beat it out of me! NOW LET HER GO” he said in a low, deep voice. There was another moment of silence before he started telling me the code to get the vest off. Once it was off, I stood up and Ethan handed me a phone. “Go”

“Ethan…”

“Go, your brother, Brandt, and Luther are waiting” I nodded I reached for his hand and gave it one last squeeze before walking away. I dialed Benji’s number, and he picked up immediately

“Did you get her?”

“Yes, he got me big brother” he let out a sigh of relief “Now where am I going?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Benji gave me directions and made my way to where they were busy building the next part of the plan.

“I’m so glad you’re ok” Benji said as soon as he saw me, he pulled me into a huge hug.

“So I’m assuming the end game is getting Lane in this glass box?” I asked

“Yes, we’re hoping Ethan is going to be able to get him here… Ethan was worried sick about you” I looked at the ground. I knew Benji meant he was angry, and only worried because this was interfering with the plan

“I’m sorry” I mumbled

“All that matters now is you are ok”  I felt tears running down my face

“Is there a bathroom?” I asked

“Yeah, I think there is one around the corner” I nodded and headed that way, but as soon as I turned the corner, I couldn’t hold myself together anymore, I leaned against the wall, and slowly slid down to the ground and cried.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ethan’s P.O.V

After getting Lane into the box and helping them put it in he truck, I looked around for Ashley. Words cannot describe how happy I am that she is ok.

“Benji, where is Ashley?” I asked

“Oh, I think she went to the bathroom, its around the corner” I patted him on the shoulder

“Thanks” I said. As soon as I turned the corner, I saw Ashley on the ground against the wall crying “Ashley!” I exclaimed running over to her, I kneeled in front of her “Baby… are you hurt?” I asked her looking for any sign of harm to her body. She gave me a weird look, and pulled away from me “baby what’s wrong?” I asked

“Why are you talking to me?”

“What?” I asked confused

“Don’t you hate me?” she asked

“Hate you? Baby, what on earth are you talking about? Why would you think I hate you?”

“Because, I was stupid and put the whole mission at risk”

“Baby, you made a mistake. That’s it, and all the years you have known me have I made mistakes on missions?” she nodded “I love you so much, words cannot describe how lost I felt knowing that he had you, knowing that at any moment he could hurt you I…” she cut me off by throwing herself into my arms

“I love you too” I helped her stand up, and then I pushed her against the wall, and brought my lips to Her’s kissing her with every ounce of love I have for her. When we broke apart I said

“Do we have to have another lesson, to help with your self-esteem?” she blushed because she knew exactly what I was referring to. I pushed my knee between her legs, she gasped. “Ashley…” we were cut short by Brandt

“C’mon guys we have to go” we both sighed

“We’ll have that lesson whenever we get another chance to be alone” she giggled we started to walk but I stopped her “I need you to know, no matter what happens, what you do or don’t do, even if I am upset with you… There is nothing you could EVER do to make me not love you anymore” she gave me a sad smile and pushed her lips lightly on mine

“C’mon you two” Brandt said again, we walked hand in hand to where everyone else is. I saw Ashley looking around, I knew who she was looking for. “You don’t have to worry about Ilsa anymore… she left, and I doubt we will ever see her again” We climbed into the car, and followed behind the truck that was holding Lane.

“I’m so glad all of this is over” Ashley said

“I know. Things will most likely cool down that we have Lane” I looked over at Ashley “We finally take some time and focus on us. Get married, go on our honeymoon” I kissed her hand. “I love you” I said

“I love you more Ethan Hunt”

 The next story in the series is ‘The Fallout of Our Love’

Thanks for reading please comment and let me know what you think!!

#ethan hunt #ethan hunt x reader #ethan hunt x original female character #original character #original female character #ethan #tom cruise #tom cruise movies #tom cruise running #tom cruise fanfic #mission impossible #mission impossible rogue nation #mission impossible fallout #mission impossible dead Reckoning

[seraphtrevs]

Could you expand on the similarities/parallels between Lalo and Gus? (or link me to a post if you’ve already talked about it) I think it’s fascinating & I’d love to read more

OKAY I'm finally here - every time I've sat down to write it I've been sidetracked

First, let's talk about how they're different. They are polar opposites - orderly/chaotic, serious/playful, cold/hot, cartel outsider/cartel insider, born to poverty/born to wealth. I've kind of convinced myself that Lalo was designed specifically to be Gus's foil.

But like all good foils, they also have a lot in common. Such as:

They're all business. Neither of these men have anything remotely resembling a personal life. I've seen articles on several random pop culture websites that incorrectly say that Gus had Lalo's family killed at his home, but those people were not his family! He' paid them to be there! Because real, honest attachments would be a distraction - and a liability, as Gus learned from personal experience. (And who knows - maybe Lalo learned that lesson, too.) The only thing they have going on in their lives is the Game. When all you do is play a game, you tend to get pretty good at it. Which leads me to #2

They're on the same level. The cartel is not a brain trust. Gus and Lalo are usually the smartest people involved in whatever their latest scheme is, so when they encounter each other, there's a weird moment of recognition - oh hey, this guy is a serious opponent

And since they're both experts in the game they're playing, their trains of thought generally end up at the same destination. I'm sure the way they arrive at their conclusions is very different, which is something I think deeply annoys both of them - like, it's a very specific kind of annoying to have someone you despise come up with the same answer but in the wrong way. It's why they're able to anticipate and interpret each other's actions based only off vibes

They're ruthless. They both have zero qualms about doing whatever it takes to achieve their ends, with seeming little regret. We see Mike, Jesse, and Walt struggle with all the violence and the death, but Gus and Lalo never show regret. They know that sometimes you have to sacrifice pawns to win games, and so that's what they do

They're loners. Neither of them have a single real friend. If you buy my headcanon that Lalo is also gay, it kind of makes sense why he's also kept people at a distance. Neither of them can risk the kind of exposure being truly intimate with someone entails...and honestly, they're both just kind of weird and don't fit in, the way exceptional people don't sometimes.

They don't care much about material things. Neither of them seem particularly interested in a lavish lifestyle, outside of having a nice house and getting the occasional outrageously expensive bottle of alcohol. They don't wear expensive clothes. They don't drive especially flashy cars (compare Lalo's car with Nacho's). They don't throw parties to show off their wealth. Jimmy uses his money to the fullest extent - because what's the point of having it otherwise? But Lalo and Gus don't seem to care about that. Money is just one of your scores when you're playing to win

They're loyal - Gus was fiercely loyal to Max, and Lalo is fiercely loyal to Hector. I think this is related to their loner tendencies - it's rare to find anyone who truly understands them. It's like they take every last scrap of their humanity and invest it in one single person. This is how Lalo figures out that Gus is up to something - he knows that there's no way in hell Gus would ever save Hector's life unless he had an ulterior motive, so he started to look around for other things that didn't make any sense

#i'm sure I'll think of something else the moment I hit post #gustavo fring #lalo salamanca #better call saul #asks

[ainyan]

A Headcanon

I don’t know why, but I feel the urge to share my Thancred headcanon about his eyes. It’s purely a personal headcanon; there’s nothing in game at all to back up my thoughts. But since the issue in question is completely unexplored in the actual game - well, I decided that I would explore it a little in my fics. And it grew from there.

Please note, this is my personal headcanon. I don’t expect any of you to adopt it. I’m happy to talk about it but I’m not going to argue why it’s the ‘right’ headcanon, because it’s not. There’s nothing in the official canon to support it - there’s just nothing in the official canon to refute it, so I still hold it true for my personal AU. 🙂

Anyway.

In Heavensward, Thancred returns to us with an eye-patch. We learn nothing of why he has the eyepatch, only that it ‘doesn’t bother him’ in his words. When Krile and Thancred go to Castrum Centri to get a bead on Minfilia and he has to go without his eyepatch, we see that Thancred’s eye is the same pale crystal as Y’shtola’s eyes, colorless and blind.

In Heavensward, we also learn that Thancred no longer has the ability to touch his aether. He still has aether - he’s a living creature with a soul - but the fundamental part of him that allowed him to access, use, and share his aether has been irreparably damaged, and he can no longer use any abilities which require aether - including teleport.

Y’shtola actively accommodates for her blindness by utilizing aethersight, a dangerous method by which she uses the ambient aether around her to ‘see’. We learn from her conversation with Matoya that this is dangerous and that it drains one’s life-force - but Y’shtola considers this a fair price to pay.

I believe that Thancred is similarly impaired - blind in his left eye - but due to the shock of being forced into the Lifestream against his will and being just as quickly and forcibly ejected afterwards, his body was not able to adjust to the changes caused by whatever wild aether caused his infirmity. In response, his body/soul shunted his aether solely to maintaining his sight in his damaged eye - but because it couldn’t give back actual sight, it gave back a form of aethersight instead.

The reason Thancred keeps his eye covered is in part because he finds the half-real sight, half-aethersight visually disturbing. He can see everything almost as well as he had been able to previously, but everything is overlaid with a sheen of aether. To make matters worse, unlike Y’shtola, who sees aether in differences of brightness - the stronger the aether, the brighter it is in her sight - Thancred sees aether in shades of color.

For instance, he sees Urianger as a normal Elezen male, but floating just under his skin he sees a sheen of liquid gold, translucent and indistinct but identifiable as ‘Urianger’. Because he’s only seeing this with one eye, it causes a visual distortion that upsets his stomach and throws him off balance, so he wears his eyepatch at all times in order to prevent his aethersight from distracting him at a crucial moment.

I also believe that their time together in the Lifestream bound Y’shtola and Thancred together; part of the reason she may be able to risk using her aethersight the way she does is because her connection to the rogue is helping stave off the worst of the effects by shunting some of the burden through him, effectively halving the effect. I like to headcanon this part because it explains why the game mentions that she’s playing a dangerous game using her aethersight and then never addresses it again, despite the fact that she’s used Flow again, she uses powerful magics without regard for the strain on her own aether, and she willingly shares her aether with Zero. She knows that some of the burden is taken up by Thancred, and that as long as he can’t access his aether, her own strain is halved and there’s very little placed on him. (I also headcanon this because I just really like the idea of someone having a connection to Thancred while he’s off in the wilderness playing spy, and being able to keep an eye on him no matter what.)

Anyway, I digress.

In Shadowbringers, we see that Thancred is once more using both of his eyes, but now instead of one being agate and one being crystal, they are both the color of citrines, a pale brown/gold. In my headcanon, when his soul was removed from his body, it evened out the discrepancies between his two eyes, so that instead of being blind in one eye, he can see with reduced clarity out of both eyes - but his aether is still being shunted to accommodate for his disability by giving him continued aethersight.

Now, instead of seeing an aura of color from only one eye, he can see a faint film with both, just a light wash of hue within the flesh, shining through the skin and tinting everyone with the color of their aether. He’s learned how to utilize this to his benefit, as he can use it to see people or creatures with souls from afar, identify sin eaters at a glance or from a distance, watch for tails or spies, and determine who someone is without actually being able to see their face. In certain circumstances, he can even identify people through cover, such as when hidden in bushes or shadows.

He never talks about it because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he has any disability, even one he’s managed to turn into a gift. He also doesn’t want to invite too much speculation about what he sees and how he sees it; both he and Y’shtola worry that if anyone probes too much into his aether-block that they might upset whatever it is that allows him to see in the first place - and it might disrupt whatever it is that keeps them tied together and helps Y’shtola fend off the ill-effects of her aethersight.

So that's my headcanon, which you've seen drabbles of in my writing. Thancred can see the color of souls, but the souls of most people are very faint and translucent, and so they just appear as a very faint sheen of color under the skin. Ascian souls look much richer to him, while Kal'istae is many shades of blue (even more after Shadowbringers) and G'raha's is a few vibrant shades of red.

#headcanon #ffxiv #thancred waters #post-heavensward au

[glass-onion-soup]

Thanks for this long, thoroughly considered ask. I think you're completely on the money on both points here, that John continued to abandon Julian because it was too uncomfortable to make the effort, and that his Bermuda trip might have been a turning point that made him re-assess his first father-son relationship. I'll explain why I agree tho.

Re: John's comfort zone - I think his "what can ya do?" abandonment of Julian had two factors to it. The first was shame, and his shame-based self hate. John was a classic example of a "thwarted perfectionist" thanks to Mimi's emotionally incestuous and narcissistically stifling upbringing. If you can't do something perfect immediately, there's no point in doing it at all, otherwise you will be subject to ridicule and abuse. Thwarted perfectionists often check out and either don't finish/start projects, or engage in performative self sabotage (John was more of the latter, though he evolved into the former for a while in his 30's). I think his attitude with Julian was "I already fucked this up, I fucked it up right away, there is no fixing it because I was destined to be bad at it, etc". This might not have even been on a fully conscious level, but I can't imagine seeing or thinking about Julian made him feel very good about himself. It was psychologically easier to start with a new kid and do it "right" from the beginning this time instead of fixing what you already broke. In this psychological frame of mind, raising Sean can also simultaneously become redeeming the fuck up with Julian (symbolically; this still left Julian out in the cold). John seemed to view going back to Yoko in 75 in general as an act of maturity based on insight over how he let his first two "marriages" (Cyn, and Lennon-McCartney) fall apart as soon as they got difficult. I would disagree with this personally lol, but if he were talking about anything BUT his codependent relationship with Yoko he'd be totally correct. Like, the sentiment is not wrong, and it says a lot about where his head was.

The other factor is, as you implied, John's belief that he lacked personal agency. This reinforced his thwarted perfectionism, bc the mental hurdle to even imagine himself being able to fix something he broke was too powerful when he was languishing in learned helplessness. It's no accident that the only time he made real overtures to Julian after leaving Cyn was during a period when he was highly productive in a creative sense (and playing a leadership role in many of his creative endeavours to boot) and with a woman who, while she did get sucked into mothering him quite a bit, encouraged him to take risks and uh, like, go outside and shit.

I'm mostly just fleshing out what you've said here with more psychological detail because I think you already hit the key insight: his experience sailing to Bermuda was a huge turning point re: his self perception wrt personal agency. The big elephant in the room, however, is Yoko. It didn't take long for John to start opening himself up a few inches to Cyn and Jules after breaking with Yoko in the mid-70's; it was her who had the zero sum game attitude wrt his first family (which he, don't get me wrong, absolutely went along with at the time, he was so determined and desperate to "break" with his old life; Yoko's "cut everyone out" rhetoric was a useful mental tool and excuse for him). I think the fact that 'Double Fantasy' was originally supposed to be a John-only project that Yoko shouldered her way into indicates that he hadn't actually reclaimed or fully integrated this newfound sense of agency at the time of his death, but the attitude he fostered there hadn't gone away.

So yeah: if John had been able to nurture that positive feeling, if he and Yoko went their separate ways, if he had been able to go back to England and reconnect with his old circle of family and friends, I think it's probably true that he would at least tried to make things right by with Jules (and maybe even Cynthia, but lets not get too crazy here).

As for what it might have looked like, it's difficult to know tbh. I do think that John was one of those people who just had a hard time relating to small children because they couldn't discourse on an adult level (tho notably he was better with young girls than boys). Re-connecting with Julian as a teen/adult who was capable of interacting more as a peer than a dependent probably would do a lot to radically reframe their relationship and give John points of reference and enthusiasm to engage with him. Likely this would have primarily happened through music. However based on observation of similar situations irl, I think there probably would have always been a wedge of distrust present as often happens with adult children of highly irresponsible parents. What I'm saying is that I believe they could have or would have become friends, maybe even close friends, but I don't believe they ever would have become "father and son".

#my boyband bias john lennon #analysis #asks

[kitausu]

Kit's MM *Spicy* Book Rec List

Because I need basically zero encouragement to make a book rec list, and @thepixiepaige mentioned that a rec list would be appreciated, here is a rec list of some of my favorite MM spicy books that I've read in the last few years.

*Note: Please check content/trigger warnings as needed. Not all, or even most, of these will be everyone's cup of tea. Many contain kink, age gaps, and some contain sibling relationships.*

Cara Dee's The Game series

Forever and always my go to spicy rec. This series has me by the throat and there's just so many of them and they're all amazing! There are currently 16 and counting...

The Game Series is a BDSM series where romance meets the reality of kink. Sometimes we fall for someone we don’t match with, sometimes vanilla business gets in the way of kinky pleasure, and sometimes we have to compromise and push ourselves to overcome trauma and insecurities. No matter what, two things are certain. This is not a perfect world, and life never turns out the way you planned.

Other Cara Dee Books

Nora Phoenix's The White House Men series, Perfect Hands series, and Kinky Boys series

Nora Phoenix is often hit or miss for me. Sometimes I love the books (like the ones pictured here) and sometimes they're a little meh. She writes daddy kink though in a way that consistently hits, so if that's your thing, these three are excellent reads and can be mostly read as standalones (although The White House Men series less so)

Avon Gale's Scoring Chances series

Below is the blurb for the first book. Each series deals with different players on the team. This is my go to hockey romance and I read all of these SO quickly.

Drafted to play for the Jacksonville Sea Storm, an NHL affiliate, twenty-year-old Lane Courtnall’s future looks bright, apart from the awkwardness he feels as a gay man playing on a minor league hockey team. He's put his foot in his mouth a few times and alienated his teammates. Then, during a rivalry game, Lane throws off his gloves against Jared Shore, enforcer for the Savannah Renegades. It’s a strange way to begin a relationship.   Jared’s been playing minor league hockey for most of his career. He’s bisexual and doesn’t care if anyone knows. But he’s determined to avoid another love affair after the last one left him devastated. Out of nowhere a one-nighter with rookie Lane Courtnall gives him second thoughts. Lane reminds Jared why he loves the game and why love might be worth the risk. In turn, Jared hopes to show Lane how to be comfortable with himself on and off the ice. But they’re at different points in their careers, and both men will have to decide what they value most.

N.R. Walker's Thomas Elkin trilogy

Each book is only about 100ish pages, so really this is just one book broken up into three parts. Just very sweet and indulgent and architecture as a setting feels very unusual!

Even the strongest of buildings start out as plans on paper, and every architect knows that sometimes plans need to change. Sometimes, these lessons are learned on the job. A successful New York architect, Thomas Elkin almost has it all. Coming out as gay and ending his marriage before his fortieth birthday, he needed to start living his life. Now, four years later, with his relationship with his son back on track, and after a few short-lived romances, this esteemed traditional draftsman thought he knew everything about architecture, about life. Cooper Jones, twenty-two years old, is about to take the architect world by storm. Talented, professional, driven, and completely infuriating, Cooper is the definition of Generation Y. Starting an internship working with Thomas, Cooper is about to knock Tom’s world off its axis. Tom can teach Cooper about the industry, but Cooper is about to teach Tom a few things about life.

Annabeth Albert's Out of Uniform series

Listen, I wouldn't rec a Navy SEAL series if it wasn't great, and these are GREAT. The blurb here is for the first one, but I loved them all.

After trading the barracks for a fixer-upper rental, navy SEAL Zack Nelson wants peace, not a roommate—especially not Pike, who sees things about Zack he most wants to hide. Pike’s flirting puts virgin Zack on edge. And the questions Pike’s arrival would spark from Zack’s teammates about his own sexuality? Nope. Not going there. But Zack can’t refuse. Pike Reynolds knows there won’t be a warm welcome in his new home. What can he say? He’s an acquired taste. But he needs this chance to get his life together. Also, teasing the uptight SEAL will be hella fun. Still, Pike has to tread carefully; he’s had his fill of tourists in the past, and he can’t risk his heart on another, not even one as hot, as built—and, okay, yeah, as adorable—as Zack. Living with Pike crumbles Zack’s restraint and fuels his curiosity. He discovers how well they fit together in bed…in the shower…in the hallway… He needs Pike more than he could have imagined, yet he doesn’t know how to be the man Pike deserves.

Keira Andrews

Another author who is often hit or miss for me, but these are really fun! She does the age gap romance that I crave.

Specific Books

All of these are standalones, although many are part of a "series," and all of them are kinky and spicy af.

#kit reads books #romance books #mm romance #mm romance rec #mm romance books #romance book recs #mm romance recs #pls feel free to come tell me if you read any of these! #especially the game omg im obsessed

[michelleelizabethtanner]

It is always such a pleasure reading your analysis on episodes! It is probably hard to come up with non-Brio Beth and Rio moments in the show because they are so intertwined even when they are not in a scene together (enter dubby, enter Beth allowing Dean to hit it at the kitchen sink, yuck), but I wanted to know what your favorite moment was of Beth and Rio outside of Brio and why.

Aw, thank you, anon. I’m doing more observations on canon these days than actual analysis. Getting my heart and mind steeped in Brio. 🥰 They’re such interesting characters, I could go on for days.

I agree, a lot of who they are shown to be is very interconnected. Especially since we get more insight into Beth who essentially changes everything about who she fundamentally is after she meets Rio and realizes she can be something special. But the reason they’re so enthralling together is because of who they are as individuals. The way their inherent natures are so complementary and so polarizing all at once.

Beth

My favorite Beth moment is in 1.06 A View From the Top. I think this is many people’s favorite. It has nothing to do with Rio and everything to do with Beth as a person. It’s her first really big taste of success and of Rio’s open and unabashed pride at her achievements. The way this woman suddenly realized who she was in this episode was incredible.

Beth doesn’t admit reality out loud very often. But here she made a whole speech about it, bewildering Dean in the process. And yeah, her strength here was a direct result of her impressing Rio, making money for her family, and being really good at something. It was a moment of unbridled honesty. She told him who she was as plainly and clearly as she could. He for some reason just didn’t believe her. He continued to try and get old Bethie back. I guess Beth isn’t the only one in that household who denies and compartmentalizes.

But I have no idea how much clearer she could have made it for him in this moment. No amount of backtracking and denial should have made him forget about this moment, when his wife felt like she was something special.

Rio

I don’t think I have any one favorite Rio moment. We aren’t given enough of him as an individual outside of Beth. If I had to choose I would say this moment where she threw his keys in his face.

And ok, hear me out! I KNOW this is a Brio moment and not just a Rio moment. But I think this whole scene is so reflective of who Rio is as a human being. Again, all the complaints that he wasn’t given humanity. He was. It was just subtle. He was letting her go. He was feeling the heat from Turner, he had to “take care” of Eddy… I think that killing Eddy really shook him. He didn’t take it lightly. He values life and he understands the weight of his actions. Handling a rotten egg isn’t something he does flippantly. He FEELS it to his core. So given all that, and given all the thought he must have given to everything that had transpired and all the risks – he made the decision to just let Beth go.

How much more empathetic and human can this man get? What an act of kindness! He acknowledged and took responsibility for this game he was playing with this woman he was kinda attracted to, kinda liked flirting with, kinda was amused by. He understood the risk she unknowingly was putting herself at. He knew that she wasn’t equipped to handle things like a boss, because she wasn’t a boss. She was smart and she had potential, but ultimately she was a suburban housewife with kids and zero street knowledge. He was doing her a favor. He tested her loyalties with the truck and then just released her. That is not his norm. It was a special favor he did for just her because he had sympathy for her situation and wanted to protect someone he didn’t view as capable of protecting herself. Because at his heart Rio is a kind and conscionable person who truly wants to and takes pride in taking care of others. So I guess my favorite Rio moment is actually the unseen moments of Rio as he contemplates the circumstances leading to Eddy’s death and makes the decisions that led us to this keys in face scene. I know those are headcanon moments, but I swear they happened! They had to have!

Of the Rio moments actually portrayed on screen, I guess the little glimpses we got into who he is as a father are my favorite. The pure joy this boy brings him is so telling of what a tender and deeply feeling person Rio is.

I would imagine that there is a lot of conflict for Rio in reconciling who he is in his profession and what kind of father he is to Marcus. It’s gotta be incredibly painful watching your baby grow and learn more about the world. Such a feeling of futility until he figures it out and finds out who Rio really is. It must keep Rio up at night. The way he loves that baby, he must feel impending loss of that loving dynamic as his son gets older.

This was such a bittersweet scene for me because of the very obvious conflicting emotions Rio experienced just before he went and knocked on Rhea’s door. He sat in his car and stared at his own reflection, probably contemplating all the things I said earlier. “How much longer do I have before he doesn’t welcome me back? What if today is that day? What if this trinket airplane I brought him to atone for the weeks I abandoned him for isn’t enough? What if he blames me? What it he rejects me?” The relief and joy Rio must feel in this moment when Marcus is overjoyed to see him. But also sadness and fear, because he’s living on borrowed time. Marcus won’t welcome him back forever. Someday Rio will pay a big price for being who he is, and that price will unfortunately be his son. Maybe that’s why Rio doesn’t sleep and just skulks outside in the dark at night or sits alone in his bar and ponders all his life’s failures.

#favorite moments #they’re all my favorite so idk #headcanon Wednesday #headcanon #brio #beth x rio #good girls nbc #rio & marcus #beth & dean

[nerdyenby]

Limited Life playlist

Explaining my song choices for the Limited Life section of my traffic series playlist

Rise up by Imagine Dragons: everyone reaching upwards, scraping the sky and striving for more. “I would always open up the door, always looking up for higher floors. Wanna see it all, give me more (rise, rise up).” As the game progresses, players grow in boldness, even as their time whittles downward. “The more I strain, the less I fear. And the more I reach, the more I fade away. The darkness right in front of me, oh, it’s calling out and I won’t walk away.”

River Run by Cereus Bright: Martyn starting to take risks, striving for success and preparing for it to blow up in his face. The chance of victory is worth it, he’s already laying the foundations, even if it marks his doom. “I’d rather fall than stay on the ground. I used to play it safe, walled up my heart to escape. Hiding from beauty and from pain, this is no way to live. Time for these to win.” He teams with Scott but it’s a looser alliance than he’d ever voice. “These are murky waters, oh the farther we go down.”

Mr Hyde by Braden Bales: Martyn getting the bogeyman curse and running away so he doesn’t turn on Scott. “I promise I didn’t want this, I can’t believe I’m so lost. I’m turning into Mr Hyde, I think he’ll make you cry. […] It’s not a pretty sight, I lost when I tried to fight him.” Martyn eventually satiates the curse and heads back to Scott, but I also enjoy the potential double meaning of this song not only representing the bogeyman curse, but also Martyn’s own festering ambition.

Pitchfork Kids by AJR: With Scott having by far the most time, he and Martyn become the server’s primary targets. “When the skies are open, we’ll still be singing this: I know they’re coming for me, we’re not the pitchfork kids.” They are the hunted, and Martyn’s not a fan of being the prey. “Why should I spend time running for my life?”

Sixty Five by Gentle Bones: Martyn sticking by Scott’s side, squashing his desire for self-preservation to stay with his only ally. “Tonight, we’ll make it out alive. We’ll leave it all behind and stand up, for all that we love will always be enough.”

Out of the Woods by Taylor Swift: Scott and Martyn keep heading off and doing their own things, but they always come back to each other. When the whole world is against them, they run together. “We were built to fall apart and fall back together. […] Are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good.”

Anti-Curse by boygenius: Scott asking Martyn to be the one to kill him when they were being chased into the ocean. “Friendly fire, point blank. Salt in my lungs, holding my breath. Making peace with my inevitable death”

Time by James Barre: “I feel like I’m running out of energy to say these things, I do not have the time, my time now. It’s probably just a waste of time, my time, oh.” Martyn has so much more time than everyone else left standing, but it’s still not enough. He keeps clawing for more time.

Not Strong Enough by boygenius: “Every clock’s a different time, it would only take the energy to fix it.” As people’s clocks start closing in on zero, people are begging their allies to kill them and take their time, but not Scott and Martyn. They’re both in a good position, but even if Scott had needed time, Martyn wouldn’t have given it to him. He’s sick of being stuck as “Always an angel, never a god.”

Blur by Imagine Dragons: “I wanna be satisfied with what I have. I’m always chasing higher placement, this bump is not enough. […] I’m always hoping for a reset. I will be happier when I’m older. Why is everything never good enough for me? Why is everything never…? I’m never satisfied. I’m starting to blur.” Martyn has not come this far to leave anything to chance. He will not settle for anything less than victory. He needs more, he needs more time, he needs to win.

Overheated by Billie Eilish: The final three agreeing to an unarmed battle without armor to end it all, and Martyn stabbing them in the back when they least expect it. “You wanna kill me? You wanna hurt me? Stop being flirty […] I’m overheated. Can’t be defeated, can’t be deleted, can’t be repeated.”

I Did Something Bad by Taylor Swift: Martyn just killed two unarmed men in a fit of passion and he has no regrets. This game was always meant to end in blood. Honor has no place in war. He won and he enjoyed it. “I don’t regret it one bit ‘cause he had it coming. They said I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?”

Intro by Alt 9, Eric Grooms & Brendan Foery: “What if I wake up and I can’t hear myself speak? I would still scream at the top of my lungs ‘til my throat went dry and my tongue went numb. I would still dance ‘til my cheeks went red, my legs went weak, and my feet both bled. So I’m on my knees and I’m almost dead.” As Martyn celebrates his victory, he is struck down by the heavens. He knew death was going to come for him, but he was hoping to not again find himself falling through the infinite abyss.

#life series #traffic series #trafficblr #martyn inthelittlewood #limited life #limited life mean gills #scott smajor #cw death mention #nerdy’s traffic analysis

[novelmonger]

I played Death Stranding and I have...questions.

I considered posting about these things as they came up while playing, but figured that as soon as I started talking about it, Tumblr would start throwing spoilers in my face. So instead of having to tiptoe through that minefield, I've been saving it up until I beat the game and could talk about it freely.

Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk!

Why the heck are the cities all named "____ Knot City"? Why would they not use the names of old cities or even towns that used to be roughly in the same location?

Why does no one use ordinary surnames anymore? There's literally no reason for people not to use them a mere generation (if that) since the apocalypse.

WHAT THE HECK KIND OF NAME IS DIE-HARDMAN THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

For that matter, why has so much changed in such a short time? The last president was still around in living memory, so the Death Stranding just happened a few decades ago at most. And I don't think this is set super far into the future - not like Horizon: Zero Dawn, for example, where it makes sense that no one remembers what life was like in 21st-century America, because it's set a thousand years in the future. Everyone over a certain age in Death Stranding can remember what it was like before, so why is everyone acting like they're unearthing some incredible archeological find when they discover that people used to...I don't know...play video games?

Carrying unborn babies around in a tank because their mothers are braindead and thus connected to the world of the dead and so the babies can detect the presence of the dead...may be one of the creepiest things I've ever done in a game before. And I can't decide if this is a pro-life thing or not, because there are soooooo many mixed messages of some characters insisting that BBs are just tools, and others who treat them like actual babies.... I mean, I saw Lou as a person from day one, and clearly, Sam came to the same conclusion since he named Lou...but I just wonder what the creators of the game were thinking when they implemented that.

Okay, I get that not everybody knows that BBs even exist, but of those who do...why are more people apparently not bothered by carrying around what is apparently a human child in a little tank??? Wouldn't it take an awful lot to convince people that the thing that looks and acts like a human child is in fact not a human being - when you can literally see everything they do, you can hear them crying, they are fully formed, so it's not like they're weird-looking little fetuses? Do I just have too high a view of humanity?!

WHO THE HECK DECIDED THAT THE OMINOUS GHOSTLY SPIRIT THINGS THAT CHASE YOU DOWN TO PULL YOU CLOSER TO DEATH SHOULD BE CALLED "BEACHED THINGS"??? WHY DID THEY GO WITH THE STUPIDEST-SOUNDING, LEAST INTIMIDATING NAME THEY COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF?! I was creeped out when they were just BTs, because that sounds kind of ominous, but as soon as I found out what that stands for, I burst out laughing. They'll never be truly intimidating again.

Why is there an online option at all in this game? Does anybody actually play with it turned on? I immediately went, "lol, nope" as soon as it was explained to me. If I wanted to play an MMO, I'd go play World of Warcraft (or whatever the kids are playing these days).

Why. On Earth. Are bodily fluids used to make grenades. Were they trying to make you feel like a monkey throwing feces around? Why is showering and using the freaking toilet an actual gameplay element? (What is this, The Sims?) Why is there a button you can press to pee on the ground while on the road? WHY DOES A HOLOGRAM OF A MUSHROOM APPEAR TO MARK THE PLACE YOU JUST WATERED THE GRASS???

Why is the tonal shift so severe when you're in a private room? Sam goes from being a stoic grumpypants who just kind of grunts at people, to making faces and breaking the fourth wall. Is this...supposed to be funny? Is what happens in private rooms outside of canon? No, that doesn't work, because there are quite a few plot-advancing cutscenes that happen in private rooms....

Why does Fragile chew so weirdly?

WHY ARE THERE ACTUAL LITERAL MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS IN THIS GAME AAAUUUUGH THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT IS SERIOUSLY MESSING WITH MY SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF DX

Why on earth is there a random hologram of Aloy and a Watcher from Horizon: Zero Dawn? All it does is serve to yank me out of my suspension of disbelief and remind me of a game that does a much more convincing job with the post-apocalyptic future of North America.

Why bother with the whole repatriation thing? Did we really need an in-universe explanation for why you can come back to life if you get a game over? Like...it's not going to make anyone forget they're playing a game. And they didn't do a great job of establishing right away whether or not Sam retained his memories after that scripted repatriation at the beginning. Left me very confused for a long while. If they wanted him to survive his wife's voidout, he could have just...not been there when it happened, you know? (Upon reaching the end of the game, I understand a little better why they did it this way, but I still think it's a bit clunky.)

Why the heck is Conan O'Brien in this game? Like, I can sort of understand Guillermo del Toro, I guess, but....

What's the point of making the MULEs addicted to oxytocin or whatever, so far gone that they're compelled to steal people's packages for the high of it? That's...really stupid and unnecessary. Seriously, you could just have them be bandits. People who are hostile to Bridges to such an extent that they attack porters on sight, or who have broken away from others and created their own little communities, and they have no qualms about stealing packages from people, in case they might contain valuable resources.

Why does nobody in this world know how to use emojis? Were all the mail messages written by boomers?

Who on earth hired the actress who played the Chiral Artist, and why didn't they get someone to play that role who could actually act?

Why is it that all the significant NPCs in the game are so...unique? You've got Mama and her BT baby, not to mention that she doesn't decay after she dies and is somehow alive in Lockne's body. You've got Deadman, who is a literal Frankenstein's monster of corpses stitched together. You've got Heartman, who undergoes cardiac arrest and gets revived every 20 minutes.... I mean, none of the characters important to the story are just normal people dealing with the Death Stranding. They're all one of a kind. Which isn't bad, per se, but it sort of stretches my suspension of disbelief. It would be one thing if it was a deliberate gathering of exceptional minds or something, but it feels like they all just "happened" to be working for Bridges or something. Am I being too picky here?

Why is Higgs that creepy? I mean, I totally dig how hard Troy Baker leaned into the craziness of the role, all slick and sinister, wearing a chiralium mask shaped like a skull, blipping in and out instead of walking two paces just because he can...but why have him smear tar around and lick it off his thumb? Why have him lick Sam's face? It just seems...rather excessive to me <_<

Who on earth came up with having Sam compare himself and Amelie to Mario and Princess Peach? Or for that matter, who had the atrociously lame idea of "Mario and Princess Beach" being an actual line of dialogue we had to hear with our own eardrums? Because I think they need to be fired. Kojima-san, if that was your idea of 'humor' or something, please fire yourself. You're not allowed to string words together anymore.

So...wait. Is it supposed to be a surprise that Clifford Unger is Lou's father? I mean, if it was believable for Sam to not have figured it out a long time ago, that would be fine even if I was pretty sure - that's just dramatic irony. But, like...Sam has been seeing visions of Lou's memories pretty much every time he hooks them up. That's canonically backed up in-story. I find it really hard to believe that Sam wouldn't have pieced it together in all that time.

When Die-Hardman finally takes off his mask...there's nothing unusual about his face? I was expecting some kind of disfigurement from timefall or something, but he looks completely normal, and yet everyone starts muttering in shock?? Is the surprise supposed to be that he's actually completely normal???

WHY ARE THERE TWO CREDIT ROLLS?!?!?!?! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ This game take so long just to get through the ending....

Why is this game so fun and addictive despite being so wonky and weird? I loved it. Couldn't stop playing ^_^

Now that I've finished, I am so confused by the timeline and who Sam actually is, so I'm headed off to go research what the heck is up with this game @_@

#death stranding #what a weird game #yet strangely addictive #i cried at the end (because of lou of course) #but i doubt i'm ever going to play it again or any sequels or anything #just a bit too weird and lame at times for me :/

[panigamermauser]

I have been pondering why I did not touch bg3 in more than a week now, despite it being the best game I played in at least a decade, and just a week ago I was looking to replay it several more times.

Finally realized that it is because the game upset me one time too many. Not as in 'the story bit that was written to be sad did its job', but 'the writing/development decisions make me sad'.

Ugh, I hate my brain. Why do bad things always wear me down even when good ones outweight it 99 to 1? At this point I'm not even sure if I even can get back into playing it again. It is a very much 'me' problem, not game problem. Why cannot I be normal? 😭

Venting/ranting under the cut, if anyone cares.

So, it is again about Tav being non-character. I know, I know. I keep harping on it. But this is like a pebble stuck in a boot. It just keeps getting worse with time😔

That story from Astarion writer about how they added more content for Durge just because they could pretty much broke me. Especially the part how they wished there was more time to add same level of care for Durge from other companions.

Why Durge - who already has a metric fuckton more content, major impact on the main plot and exists in game world no matter who you play as - deserves extra care and even more content?

It did not even cross their mind to wish there was more time to add unique interactions only Tav players would see. To make Tav a real character that exist in the world no matter what. But no, let put a cherry on top of massive cake Durge already got instead.

It turned my jealousy of Durge being 'Tav with lots more content' into resentment. It is unfair, and I do not even want to play Durge now, out of spite. And it was supposed to be my next playtrough too!

And I know, in real world there is budget and time, and neither is unlimited. So choices have to be made. But if they could not spare any to make Tav part of the world, they could have let them to be the only one customizable character. It could have been their special unique thing with zero extra effort on team's part.

Default Durge is a white dragonborn monk. Should have stayed this way as a preset character. This way Tav's unique thing would be customizability, and Durge's extra content would have felt as premade story of this one premade character, just like playable companions feel.

But no, they had to go and make Durge customizable too, which instantly made Tav infinitely worse by comparison. Of course, it is too late to change it now. So Tav is stuck as an afterthought. An unloved child of development team, if you will. And unfortunately for me, this is my main char. So I'm salty and jealous and mad and resentful about Durge.

There's not a single thing you miss if you do not play as Tav. No extra story, no extra NPCs, no extra written notes, no extra dialogue. Nothing. In contrast, I learned whole Durge's backstory while playing Tav, just from reading books and notes.

The saddest thing is that it makes me like Astarion less too.

Because due to writers whims out of two customizable characters Astarion cares about Durge, but not about Tav. Even though both character treat him equally. But for some reason (aka the writer's whim) Astarion cares for Durge a lot more. Gives them a special nickname too. And I'm salty about it.

Honestly, it feels like Tav is being punished for being 'normal' (whatever your headcanons are - the game treats Tav as someone well-adjusted and untraumatized).

Yeah, you go solve everyone problems and tragic pasts while no one ever wonders about your mental state, backstory and possible troubles even once. No one cares whether Tav is scared, stressed etc. If they are sad because they do not have a single person in the world to talk to outside of tadpole crew. But Durge is oh so special and needs whole group support, always.

With Durge it feels like everyone supports each other. With Tav it feels horribly one-sided. Tav will risk their life for companions. But they won't even ask how their day is going.

I really wish I played Durge first. This way I would not get invested in my main (who is Tav, because Durge was not a thing during early access). Alas, it was Tav, and I cannot rewrite the past and not play EA.

Add to this the problems with Act 3 pacing and the ending being unsatisfactory(I wrote some long-ass posts about it before)

Add to this poly relationships being an afterthought(despite it being a point in advertising the game!) and Halsin never treated as an equal partner by the game. You never see all three interacting as a policule either. No epilogue of planning the future as policule too.

Add to it me being done with fantasy/sci-fi stories of 'you can save the world, but not the ill person you care about'. Like, is it realy that unrealistic compared to stopping an alien invasion all by yourself? Especially when the possibility of cure is heavily teased by those games themselves.

Asd to it the recent numerical confirmation of how Wyll has so much less content than everyone else... (I'm sure it is because he got rewritten. Does not make it hurt any less, tho)

Death by a thousand papercuts right here

Again, compared to wastness and overall quality of the game those are such small and insignificant things. And I'm sure there won't be another game this good for many more years. And I totally planned to play BG3 till something just as good comes along.

But my brain has stopped me in my tracks before the second run is finished. And I hate it so much. Because when I'm done with something - I am really done and cannot go back, no matter how much I want to. And I do not want to be done with BG3 just yet. But also cannot bring myself to start the game anymore 💔 As I said - It's a 'me' problem. But it still hurts as all get out and I wish I was not the way I am.

#mausertalks #baldur's gate 3 spoilers

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

Whenever I reply to your replies about what I’ve said, I feel like we’re that spider-man meme just pointing at each other and jumping up and down lmaooo

When Anthony stops Ben from pursuing clover, how much of that do you think was less so an objective gesture of goodwill and more so a reflection of his (and a lot of people in the ton’s) view of love, especially as he’s seen in his own life.

What I mean about this beyond the fact that everyone in the ton, despite being enamored with the idea of love, they don’t try that hard to pursue it (look at how rare love matches are) but also how Anthony protects himself (at this point in the story) by denying himself the idea of love (namely with lottie).

His idea is that he’s protecting her, but he’s also protecting himself in a lot of ways too. Anthony thinks that he’s protecting everyone by not falling in love, and he’s encouraging Ben to do the same, not because he wants to keep Ben from pursuing love, but because he wants to protect him from the pain it might cause.

It’s the sort of catch 22 that every person who loves another must struggle with (especially parents and parent types): we want good things to happen to those we love without any of the risk. I suppose we want this for ourselves too, now that I think about it.

It’s the simple failing to realize that not only is the good thing attainable because of those risks, but that that’s also why it’s so meaningful. It’s difficult to balance and know what the right risk/reward is, so most people error on the side of caution. Ben is very much the type to play a high risk/high rewards game, which pays off, but really shows a lot about the stakes that everyone else balked, despite their admiration of the reward (love in this case).

Idk it’s just super interesting to think about imho

Also re: our other convo: I think that both allergies and intolerances can start at any time! Our bodies are weird like that lol

Also I still hate mushrooms lolololol. I can tolerate cabbage if something is masking the taste, but I don’t prefer it. It’s a texture thing for me when it comes to the other things though. I’m really weirdly specific about the textures of things I’ll eat, so mushrooms are a no-no in my book.

Also yes soap boxes!! I’m the exact same way! Any soap boxes coming to mind right now?

Omg we definitely are like that meme😂

I think it was a mixture of both! Like, I definitely think Anthony's own perspective of love played some part in it, especially now that we know he has been in love with Lottie that whole time❤️ But like, even before that, protecting and putting his family first is a second nature to Anthony at this point❤️

And there was also the fact that Clover is incredibly different than Benedict😁 And Anthony heard all kinds of things about her, because the ton was buzzing with gossip when she was first introduced😁 She's more of a riddle, no one knows all that much about her and she has zero interest in letting them know anything about her, and Anthony does NOT like riddles, nor does the ton😏

They are all used to the debutantes being a certain way, and Clover had already started breaking it on her first outing, refusing to smile at anyone😂

So I think Anthony did not want Benedict to get his heart broken, but also he knew he would eventually fall in love ❤️ He was just hoping it wasn't someone like Clover ❤️

Benedict on the other hand was already obsessed after their first interaction for the very same reason, that she doesn't fit the type of an "ideal debutante" 😈

YES! Now that we're talking about vegetables, I have many opinions about okra aka lady's fingers! 😂

So first of all, you know how there are some things in the world which are totally edible, and some are poisonous and there is a 3rd category where it's like "eh you could eat it but why would you"? OKRA IS A VEGETABLE UNDER THE THIRD CATEGORY

I refuse to believe anyone would willingly eat that vegetable(🧐?) , and I think we were supposed to leave that alone but nope, we convinced ourselves it was something edible and now the rest of the humankind is stuck with this idea-

[redwineconversation]

Chelsea's carnations passed off as roses

There are rumors circulating about Magdalena Eriksson and Pernille Harder possibly transferring to Lyon this summer, and although I try to stay clear of Chelsea for a number of reasons, I still want to talk about it.

I guess I should preface this by saying that while I like Magdalena Eriksson as a person and Pernille Harder as a player, I remain somewhat skeptical this move will actually take place. Why? Let's share a bottle of cheap-ass screw top rosé and talk about that.

There's a lot to undertones that I really do want to chat about. First of all, let's not be coy about the obvious. Lyon has expressed interest in Pernille Harder since circa 2016, and that interest is still there. She's the type of player they like in terms of intellect, physicality, and mentality. Lyon likes her, that much is obvious. One to one, they would be a good match.

But the relationship wouldn't be equal. Lyon has survived just fine without Pernille Harder in their lives. Their trophy case is what it is, and Pernille Harder had nothing to do with it. In some ways, if Harder wants to the UWCL as she has claimed, she needs Lyon to do it. Lyon likes Harder. Harder needs Lyon. It's a subtle difference, but it is there.

Second, Lyon has absolutely zero incentive to trust Harder's professionalism. Lyon was on the periphery of the Harder to Chelsea drama in that they thought they had been petty by poaching Sara Bjork Gunnarsdottir from WOB and having her play in the final against them; it was nothing compared to Harder's betrayal. Maybe it's because the details weren't made super public but the fact of the matter is Harder did fuck WOB over in the name of #truelove. She chose being with Eriksson over honoring her contract with WOB. Whatever, that's her choice, whom am I to judge?

But why should Lyon trust Harder's judgment? If she stabbed WOB in the back to join Eriksson, what does it say about her state of mind if, for some reason, Eriksson and her break up? Will Harder jump ship at the first opportunity? Harder is expensive. What exactly is Lyon's incentive on spending money on a known flight risk? When you screw over a big club the other big clubs take notice. They remember, too.

Related, what is Lyon's incentive to trust Eriksson? She has used Lyon's name in the past to get a lucrative contract extension. Why should this time be any different? We've had this conversation before. She had the opportunity to play on this team with the money they have to offer and the records and she chose to stay at Chelsea and build the life she has there. As she should! I firmly believe that Eriksson and Chelsea work well together. It takes a certain type of character to lead a team like Chelsea, after all.

But the point is this isn't the first time that Eriksson's name has been floated in connection with Lyon and yet Eriksson's name is still on Chelsea's roster.

Furthermore, let's talk about Eriksson's ambition. She wants to be Swedish captain - I think she would be good at that, too. But the only way she gets that is through consistent playing time. She will be competing for playing time at Lyon. In order to get the starting CB spot, she will have to prove she is not just as good as Renard or M'Bock but better than them. Is she willing to make that gamble? More importantly, is she willing to do that, week after week?

We know that Eriksson gets flustered in big games. Now, she is beginning to play a fair amount of them, but the mental fragility is still there. Will she be able to keep her composure in the Lyon-PSG rivalry? What about against Barcelona? Or WOB?

Finally, and I know I have bitched about this in the past, but Lyon does not cater to a player's relationship status. This is the primary reason why I would be genuinely surprised if Lyon signs both Eriksson and Harder. They stay away from couple deals because Lyon simply does not want to get involved in that type of drama. If the relationship falls apart then the club is stuck with one player who wants out and another they never really wanted in the first place. It is just not worth that kind of hassle, not if your primary ambition as a club is to actually win trophies.

Anyway all this to say is could Lyon actually sign Eriksson and Harder? Yeah, it's not impossible. Will they? That's where I am much more skeptical.

#magdalena eriksson #pernille harder #all good love stories start in the rain

[juszar2]

Opposite...

it is really sad that you could be misled to think that a being is anything decent... Asked to create an unchangeable situation with them and then find that they are the lowest you've ever seen. It feels quite disgusting daily. Every single day I wish that it had never seen me and that there were no ties to it. If there were no ties this... Person, they'd wonder if they really ever met me because I'd have removed it from my life immediately and accepted and allowed the company of a devout catholic man. Looks like a real man with a career, a home, a true conservative stance on life, gender roles and what looks like some class and dignity. Repulsive that we are not trash, but this lowly is the most conniving lying toilet paper ever. These sick ex con's that follow me and seek after to con this TP. He would hide in a cupboard and respond to this sick stalking disgust that is out of the closet... And then can't shake it and it gets disrespectful and plays games with him. He speaks of "black women tatted up, homosexual, criminal record, stalking" and says is trash when he actually risks his (and my) life letting this freak show use him. He lies daily and says his "white" friends won't believe he had anything like this in his life going on, as if embarrassed and trying to pretend decency. It is shocking daily. This fixated wants to prove itself... And will get disrespectful if he will not let it prove itself. It has to compare to me, shadow me. The thrill of pursuing and asking to get near my life is literally All that this homosexual stalker has in life. It is odd, I am approached by men of different cultures with means and this homosexual can only fixate on me and trying to shadow my life. I guess nothing like that approaches it because they see exactly what that is... Weak. That is strange to have a homosexual adversary solicit your relationship and ask to shadow. Having record of it speaking of it's efforts is strange... The whole stalking of me by this freak show band is really remarkable. Fixated females narrating my life and desperate to stick close. What a trash this lowly is. We do not deserve trash. I missed so many opportunities to have us something sturdy and different. It is the saddest and so disgusting to be connected to this freak show and these sick obsessed. And the worst part is this weak is not even my equivalent. Has accomplished nothing but paying for belongings that are not even assigned to him by name. I set aside and maintain my belongings to see what this detriment was going to turn out to be, and he served as a simp for this stalker situation and is detrimental. I look at a liar and a gross daily... Fascinating. They asked me why I wouldn't let them show me how they feel. The Spanish culture is very different, family oriented and some men take being such very seriously. By contrast, this detriment is as unsafe as the lowest and had zero dignity.

[briamichellewrites]

26

Bria was planning her dream house. She made a list of ideas, which she shared with Mike and his little brother, Jason when they came over. He was in college studying architecture, so he was curious to hear what she was planning. It was going to be extravagant! She wanted a horse barn in the backyard. That was number one. She also wanted a heated saltwater indoor/outdoor swimming pool, his and hers bathroom, a recording studio, floor-to-ceiling windows, and high fencing in the backyard for Buddy.

Who’s Buddy? Her dog. What about the garage? She needed room for six cars. What about bedrooms? How many did she want? She just needed three or four. The master bedroom would have a walk-in closet with a Jacuzzi-style bathtub in the bathroom. She didn’t need a wine cellar or a gym, though she did want a built-in aquarium in the living room because she was planning on having fish.

It was extravagant! Where did she want her house? She wanted it near the beach, so she could ride her horses. Her lifetime goal was to retire when she was forty. She would then spend the rest of her life taking care of her animals. Why forty? That was still very young. She just thought she would be tired of touring by then and wanted to stay home more. How old was she now? She was nineteen. Yeah, she had twenty years before that.

“I’m going to have cats, dogs, horses, fish, birds… as many animals as the city of Los Angeles allows me to have. Then I’m going to spend the rest of my life taking care of them. I’m also going to have the Linkin Park kids come over to hang out with the animals for a day or an afternoon every once in a while.”

“Jay, did I tell you Bria is really, really, really rich”, Mike asked.

“No, you didn’t. How rich?”

“The top one percent. She can afford to have a private jet on her property.”

“I don’t know how to fly a private jet”, she said.

No, he did not know that. It would make sense as to why her plans were so expensive. He estimated her house would cost millions of dollars and would take about two years to finish. More or less. She needed more plans, though. He recommended talking to an architect. She would do that. Meow. Bark! They looked down at the animals standing at their feet. She introduced them as Woody the cat and Buddy the puppy. Jason said hello to both of them.

Mike asked her if she had gone out with Joe. Yes, she did. What did she think? He was an odd duck. She meant that as a compliment. He laughed and asked what she meant.

“He talked to me about the video game he was playing. My knowledge of video games is zero. It sounded very interesting, even though I had no fucking idea what the hell he was talking about. I had fun. I just don’t think I’m the right girl for him.”

He laughed. “I’m going to have to talk to him about how to talk to women. Oh, well. He tried. Thanks for giving him a chance.”

Joe was nervous and video games were the only thing he could think of to talk about. He acknowledged that it wasn’t the best topic of conversation. Mike agreed, though he gave him a lot of credit for asking her out. He just needed to work on his game. His ‘talking to women’ game. He laughed. Jason had fun hanging out with her. He could see why his brother liked her.

He thought he would have fun. Bria was one of a kind. He had come out as gay. Otherwise, he would have asked her out. Joe mentioned that Rob was gay. Phoenix and Brad were bisexual. When did that happen? Phoenix had known he was bisexual since high school but he came out in college. Rob and Brad came out together a year ago. They were dating. He recommended talking to Phoenix because he was single. After getting his phone number, he went off to call him.

They agreed to meet up for a hookup. He made an excuse to his brother before leaving. I don’t want to know. If his little brother was sexually active, it was the last thing he wanted to know about. As long as he was being safe and getting tested regularly. They knew about the risks of not being careful since they both grew up in the eighties during the AIDS epidemic.

It was also drilled into him by their parents when he came out as gay. Mike would kill him if he was diagnosed with HIV because he knew better. He looked up to him and didn’t want to disappoint him. Since he was coming over, Phoenix called Brad about not coming home. He assured him he was staying over with Rob. After hanging up, he got ready. He was nervous about being with another man. Why? He didn’t know. Maybe because he had low self-esteem.

After welcoming him in, they went into his bedroom and closed the door. Jason kissed him after they took off their shirts. They took off their pants before stripping off their boxers. Mike was back with Bria. He kissed her.

It was something he wanted to do since he met her. But he was dating Anna and she was dating Phoenix. She accepted the kiss. There was something there they never noticed before. He wanted to unwrap her. She got up from the bed and closed the door before closing the blinds. He took off his shirt while he waited for her. She felt his chest with her hands. They looked at each other.

“What do you want me to do”, he asked.

“I want you to love me.”

“Okay.”

He buried his head in her neck as he kissed it. His hands took off her shirt before he laid her down on the bed. He wanted her to feel everything he was doing to her. They slowly removed the rest of their clothes before he came in between her legs. Being inside of her felt wonderful. He missed being with a woman. There was just something about making love to her. He loved her curves and how everything was perfect on her body. His hands felt every part of her.

A foursome. That was Jason and Phoenix’s idea. They mentioned it to Brad and Rob after inviting them both over to hang out. They gave them the option to say no. While talking about it, they went over their boundaries. What they did had to be kept a secret because Mike would kill Jason. They laughed. Yes, they promised to keep it secret.

Brad made sure Rob was okay with it and not just agreeing with them. He could say no. If he did, then they would one hundred percent respect that. He wanted to try it because he wasn’t that adventurous. Part of him felt guilty for not being experienced. If they did anything they were not comfortable with, they would stop immediately. After everyone agreed, the four men went upstairs to Jason’s room. Were they really doing this? Yes. Yes, they were.

Mike finished inside Bria before pulling out. Oh my god. He lay beside her. That happened. He wanted to pinch himself. Did that happen? Yes, it did. He finally realized what Phoenix had fallen in love with. She was perfect. He looked at her. You are so beautiful. She called him handsome, making him laugh. He kissed her before they both got up and got dressed.

Brad, Jason, Rob, and Phoenix took turns with each other until they were exhausted. It was the best experience, though a little awkward at times, of their lives. Jason kissed Phoenix. He would have to officially ask him out. Thank god they were at Jason’s because their groaning filled up the house.

Phoenix got up with Jason behind him. They went into the bathroom and closed the door. Jason kissed his neck before going down. He backed up against the wall as he got him in his mouth. He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair. When he was done, he rinsed his mouth out in the sink. He then turned around and kissed him.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[influencermagazineuk]

The Rarity of Life: Yuri Milner’s Eureka Manifesto and the Mission to Understand Our Universe

There are many rare things in the Universe, but perhaps the rarest is life itself. Some years ago, physicist and writer Alan Lightman used Kepler satellite data to estimate the fraction of stars with possibly habitable planets. He calculated that, even if life existed on every planet that could host it, the fraction of living matter in the Universe is miniscule: approximately one-billionth of one-billionth. Giving Pledge signatory Yuri Milner discusses the significance of our existence in his short e-book Eureka Manifesto: The Mission for Our Civilisation. Released in 2021, Eureka Manifesto is Milner’s message to humanity. It calls on us to see the cosmic story we’re part of and embrace our mission to explore and understand the Universe. Pursuing Humanity’s Mission While humans have achieved incredible things, human progress is chaotic. We struggle to marshal Earth’s abundant resources for the good of all. We play zero-sum games and focus on short-term needs. Milner believes our civilisation needs a shared mission to come together and thrive. He suggests that we look beyond Earth and commit to explore and understand our Universe. The rewards of this mission include unimaginable technological progress and the expansion of our civilisation amongst the stars. However, if we fail to embrace the mission, we risk the very future of humanity. Why? Milner points to the extreme rarity of life in the Universe and the miracle of our existence for answers. We could well be the only intelligent beings in the entire cosmos. If we are alone, our responsibility to explore and understand the Universe is immense, as we may be the only civilisation to ever do so. If we don’t pursue the mission, it could take billions of years for another such civilisation to emerge elsewhere. If advanced extraterrestrial civilisations do exist, Milner says it would be “deeply unwise for us to relax our ambitions and rely on the aliens to pursue the mission.” Species can go extinct, and civilisations can crumble. To reduce the chances of the mission failing, he explains that every civilisation should devote its resources to deepening our collective understanding. The Preciousness of the Present According to Lightman, life is not only rare in space — it’s also rare in time. In a few hundred billion years, once the stars have burnt out and all energy sources are depleted, all life in the Universe will end. That is enough time, Milner suggests, for our descendents to reach “a very deep level of understanding.” Whether we are alone in the Universe or not, we humans are a rare mechanism by which the cosmos can make sense of itself. Over billions of years, lifeless matter has formed living minds that can analyse other matter. Milner describes our very existence as a “miracle.” In a tangible way, we give the Universe meaning. Without us, the Universe would simply be. With this in mind, the rarity of life in the Universe and its inevitable end only makes the present — and our mission — more precious. About Yuri Milner Yuri Milner is advancing his Eureka Manifesto mission by investing in fundamental science and space exploration. His Breakthrough Foundation funds various science-focused projects, such as the Breakthrough Initiatives and Breakthrough Prize. The Breakthrough Initiatives are a series of space science programmes probing the fundamental questions of life in the Universe. Questions like: Is there intelligent life beyond Earth? And could humanity travel to the stars? Milner’s Breakthrough Prize celebrates scientists as heroes (another facet of his Eureka Manifesto plan of action to advance our mission). By raising the profile and prestige of the world’s top researchers, the Breakthrough Prize inspires younger generations to stand on their shoulders. The Breakthrough Foundation also sponsors Tech For Refugees. This non-profit supports tech-driven initiatives that aid Ukrainian refugees and other displaced people worldwide. Read the full article

[softmoxymuffin]

This is one of the funniest podcast episode's I have ever listened to. And yes I am incredibly biased for Brennan Lee Mulligan, the chemistry with Eric and Adal is also incredibly infectious and so fun. Also included my favorite part where Brennan explains what he loves so much about Dungeons and Dragons and it is beautiful.

Please enjoy!

***

Eric Silver: What is a perfect encapsulation of dungeons in dragons if someone asks you; "Well what's an example of why you love this thing so much?” What would you say?

Brennan Lee Mulligan: Within the game Dungeons and Dragons there is a marriage of three things going on; There is a dungeon master who has a world and a setting that they've populated with challenges and characters and some kind of plot line. There are players playing these heroic characters and then there are the dice and the dice are a neutral emotionless arbiter of random chance.

And especially for people like myself an adult who has a background in improv we're used to not having those things be adjudicated, right? It's just due to the collaboration ‘-and yes-ending’ of the partners on stage and that's beautiful. I love improv and I will always love improv and that perfect free form role playing.

What is beautiful about the dice is it means you are improvising with someone that you know doesn't care about you and it makes risk and heartbreak and danger…

Adal Rifai: I'm sorry. I'm crying. You, I never realized DnD is unrequited love. Unrequited love with the dice that don't care about you.

Brennan Lee Mulligan: In a moment where you're in an improv scene and something has the emotional resonance of hanging in the balance. You know that it's not really hanging in the balance because there's a human being across the stage from you who you trust who also wants the show to be as good as possible so it's never hanging in the balance. It's just the illusion of it hanging in the balance.

But there's a moment at a gaming table where everyone looks around and they all want the characters to survive. And instead of allowing any of the human beings who have invested months or years into the survival of that character to have a say in their ultimate fate, that fate is handed over to the inscrutable faceless prognostications of small plastic polyhedral dice-

Adal Rifai: Have that sewn into a pillow Eric! I want that I want that in a pillow by tomorrow.

Eric Silver: I'm flipping it (the pillow) over.

Brennan Lee Mulligan: -and as the dice rises into the air there is a moment of surrender to whatever is to come and the emotional resonance of being forced in a story of your own telling. To be ejected from the seat of the ‘storyteller’ and rocketed into the seat of audience member. To a tale of your own devising and to watch that plinkety-planking little D20 roll around. And in the moment of your most dire need you see two numbers; a two and a zero and when that Nat 20 comes up when, it was the only number that could save you the entire table erupts in a moment of triumph and joy and sweet relief. There is no high I have experienced in life like when the whole table knows it's what they need and somehow with only a five percent chance you all get it. Sweet, sweet joy.

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Tell me about it Podcast (background)

Adal Rifai is an eccentric billionaire who forces someone new every episode to share, argue, and defend the thing they love the most. He’s wrangled his audio butler Eric Silver to lead the contestant through a series of absurd challenges and games, all to gain points and get on the Most Interesting Thing High Score Board. Tell Me About It: the most fun podcast run by a multibillionaire.

#tell me about it podcast #adal rifai #eric silver #brennan lee mulligan #dungeons and dragons #dnd #d20 #passions