#windows s would be a fucking nightmare no matter what tho

[theygender]

I'm trying to find a decent cheap laptop but the way search systems work pisses me off. Searching "non chromebook" or "-chromebook" just makes the search results show exclusively chromebooks. Filtering to only show Windows 10 Home and Windows 11 Home operating systems still shows almost entirely Windows 10S and 11S which are fucking useless and usually mean the computer has shitty hardware. There's no way to filter out eMMC storage systems or refurbished computers. I'm going to commit a crime and it will be the fault of whoever nuked google's search capabilities and then decided to never set up the search settings on any other sites correctly in the first place

#rambling #ughhhh #emmc might be doable if i was just buying it for myself bc ill only be using it for schoolwork #but i was trying to find one my gf and i could both use and she has projects which involve graphic design and video editing #and emmc doesnt work well with large file sizes #maybe i could get her an external hdd desktop drive? #i dont know if those work well with emmc either tho and trying to google it just shows me results of people explaining the difference #i already know the difference between emmc and hdd! im trying to find out if i can use an hdd external drive with emmc storage! #windows s would be a fucking nightmare no matter what tho #it makes it so that you can only use edge as your browser and only download things from the microsoft store #which 1) fuck edge 2) we're definitely going to need to download some software or other thats not on the microsoft store #it can be turned off apparently BUT computers are usually only designed to use windows s to compensate for unsecure hardware #so. still not ideal #i DONT want a fucking chromebook or macbook or samsung book or whatever the hell else #if i wanted a fucking tablet with a keyboard i would simply buy a tablet and then buy a keyboard #i managed to find some gateway laptops that met the specs i was looking for #but every review was like 'dont buy this laptop i bought it and it immediately stopped working and then killed my family in front of me' #so. guess im not going with those ones #imma have to just either keep looking or compromise on something i guess #unless i could get an hdd external drive to work with an emmc laptop... #probably will have to ask my qpp about that bc she knows computers and google is not being helpful

[erodasfishtacos]

the fact that she had to turn on every single light of the house and call harry in the crack of night :((( poor baby i want to hug her

warnings: domestic violence; trauma; flashback, brief smut.

please take caution before reading, especially if you are currently dealing with trauma or family struggles. Every other trope on my blog is not triggering (unless specified but not really any).

…..

He’s so use to it. He was use to YN sneaking in his room through the window at all hours of the night.

When she has really bad nights, not matter how safe Harry tries to make her feel, the lights still need to stay on.

So, he’s gotten use to it overtime, sometimes they went to bed with the lights on and sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night to her turning them on.

It’s nearly four in the morning when she wakes him up with her movement, “Puppy, d’you have a nightmare?”

“Y-yeah. One of tho-those flash-flashbacks,” She sniffles, trying to hold back her tears as she flips on both bedside lamps.

“Okay, turn on all the lights then y’need to come back and talk about,” Harry tells her, he doesn’t care how fucking tired he is. He will always listen

YN swallows and nods, trailing out of the room to venture down the hallway.

It’s a few minutes until Harry realizes she’s not coming back - avoiding because she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“This is a small apartment, Y’can’t avoid me for tha’ long,” Harry murmurs when he finds her curled up on the couch in her weighted blanket.

“I-I don’t want to talk about it, H,” She says firmly, trying to keep eye contact but finding it difficult to do so.

He rounds the couch, kneeling on the floor in front of her with his large palms on her knees, looking at her seriously.

“I know y’dont but Dr. Copen said you need to talk to me after these nightmares or flashbacks, right?” He asks softly, could feel her slight quiver.

“Harry,” She whimpers, begging at him to just stop.

But they both know, if she wants to get better he can’t stop encouraging her to open up and speak.

“I love you. Please, baby,” He whispers, taking her cold hands and kissing them in a soothing way to help her.

YN looks away for a moment before nodding, her opening up is her way of telling Harry she loves him back and he knows that.

“Erm, it was a flashback. Yo-you were away at your Grandma’s for the week in the summer, so…so I never told you about this.”

Harry’s heart drops, he knew she had shared almost everything with him - except very particular things. She didn’t want Harry to get upset.

Because that’s what a compassionate person she was, that she didn’t want Harry to be sadden by her trauma. She wanted to protect him.

God, he fucking loved this fragile but fiercely strong woman.

“Okay,” His voice is barely audible as his stomach muscles tense.

YN hesitates, clearly struggling to get the words out, “I need you to hold me.”

Harry instantly agrees, tugging her onto the floor, onto his lap, still on her blanket but tucked neatly into the cradle of his arms.

“It was when we were fourteen, I think. My mum had found out that my dad had blown their money to pay the bills on alcohol again.”

“They had gotten in a fight…and my mum came running to my bedroom -scared. She..she tried to s-shut the door and he slammed it open..”

Tears are freely streaming down her face, “She grabbed me for some reason, like she didn’t think he would hurt her if she had me. And…he pulled her by her hair and her nails…just dug into my arms to try to resist.”

Harry vividly remembers those scratches.

—

“I thought about you the whole time,” Harry had smiles when he arrived home from his grandparents house and ran over to his best friend’s.

“Same here,” YN smiles, resting her head on his shoulder as they sat in his garden, “What did you do fun?”

“We went to the pool, went fishi- what are those?” He trails off as he noticed angry marks on her forearm.

“I found Dusty escapes from your house and I brought her back and she scratched me up,” She replies instantly, stiffening up.

Clueless, Harry shrugs and jokingly says, “She’s a real bitch sometimes huh?”

When he’s clearing the table after dinner and Dusty jumps up, Harry offhandedly says to his mum, “YN told me about Dusty escaping the house.”

Anne gives him a confused look, “She didn’t escape, dear. I can assure you she’s been happy and safe in the house.”

—

“It wasn’t Dusty,” Harry replies, tracing over her arms even though this scratches have long healed and disappeared from her skin.

“No, they weren’t. My dad pried my mum off of me, pulled her out of the room, and locked me in mine until school the next morning. They screamed all night.”

Harry stutters out a shaky breathe, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“You were a kid. You weren’t supposed to be there,” YN smiles softly, “I’m glad you weren’t, it’s okay.”

“It’s not bloody okay!” Harry cries out angrily, wiping at his eyes, “Its not okay you had to go through any of that and I couldn’t fucking stop it!”

YN pushes her anxiety aside because she loves Harry more than herself or anything, hands on his face to get his attention.

“Harry, you were just as much of a kid as I was. Even though you feel responsible, you aren’t. I’m okay because of you without you I wouldn’t be where I’m at now.”

He sniffles, now he was avoiding the eye contact, imagining what she went through that night and how unfair it was.

YN could tell that Harry was the one struggling right now and she needs to comfort him, “I love you. I know we are going to be happy together. You love me in a way no one else could. You’re perfect to me.”

She leans in to capture his shaky lips, pulling his bottom in between hers and adjusting so she’s facing towards him, letting the blanket fall.

When YN goes to pull off her shirt, Harry stops her and murmurs, “Pup, y’don’t have to. Y’words me s’much to me already.”

It was cautious, sometimes YN would try to use sex as a distraction tactic to get Harry distracted but tonight - they both knew that wasn’t the case.

“I want to show you how much I love you since I’m not the best at saying it,” She tells him against his full lips.

“Y’show me everyday, lovie. You are so loving and you don’t even realize it,” He assured her but helps her lift the shirt over her head.

They end up moving slowly, YN kisses Harry’s cheeks as she rolls her hips against his, in his lap, on the floor of her living room.

YN isn’t talking but her soft mouth worshipping his skin, fingers massaging his scalp, and her hot heat clenching around his was all a sign of her intense love for him.

They were making progress, slowly but surely, they were getting better.

#cheating!harry blurb #cheating!harry masterlist #cheating!harry #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x reader #harry styles masterlist #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #Harry styles angst #harry styles smut

[todragonsart]

The taste of wine - Chapter 1 - Siege-O-Ween Oct 29th

Prompt:  “I suppose, my secret’s out”

I welcome everybody back! It’s been such a long-long-long time, since I actually enjoyed writing something. I mean, times like that happen to any kind of writer or artist, and I’m just so happy to be out of it. This was so much fun, and why would we stop at just 6000 words? Come on!

Okay, honestly, I wanted to stop. I wanted to write a shorter one, but it kept going and going and going and now I’m planning like... 4 more chapters and a prologue :’) DoN’t HuRt Me PlEaSe <3 

As always, I can’t thank @r6shippingdelivery​ and @freedert95​ enough for helping me with the beta-reading. You two are absolutely life-and-sanity-saving and I love you both very much.

Oh and also, this is for @dualrainbow​‘s Halloween event, so thank you guys too, for resurrecting me from the dead! 

I hope you enjoy!!

“I want you to help me die.”

Mike turned towards the man standing on his right, eyes wide with shock. He let his gaze wander, just for a second, on the other. His tall, proud posture, his handsome face, basking in the dim candle light, his gentle, green eyes now looking at him full with hope, expecting help. How could a so-called monster look this innocent, the soldier couldn’t fathom. Why would he want to die? And more importantly, why would he want to be killed by somebody like Mike?

In his wondering, he almost missed the way the other’s lips pulled into a small smile. “You won’t help me, will you?”

Lifting his chin a bit, Mike looked the other in the eyes and he couldn’t help, but think ‘what a waste’, but shook his head anyway. “I will.”

The man seemed caught off guard- almost surprised for a second, but his smile widened as hope filled him even more.

Mike shook his head, looking away. What a waste.

But how did he get into this situation in the first place?

The Boogie-man. Zombies. Ghosts. Mummies. Werewolves. Monsters . Mike Baker had never really understood them. He understood the concept, and the literature, but he didn’t understand the need. It was just the need to be scared. Or even more, the need to force the fear of darkness into the shape of something understandable. Because that is what all these so-called supernatural monsters were, weren’t they? Just images made by scared children on a moonless night. A howl? A wolf! A growl? A zombie! A mug falling down? Definitely the leftovers of a dead person. Not the wind. Obviously not the wind.

Mike never said that he didn’t believe that something was hiding in the dark, far from it - being a soldier, facing new threats every other day made him learn that in fact there was always something around the corner, ready to attack. But nonetheless, he was sceptical of the supernatural.

Living in this world for 54 years he never met any kind of supernatural monster that could have been killed with only silver, salt or fire. In fact the only monsters he met were people. People acted way worse then any animal or entity ever could, hurting others and themselves, acting selfish and rude, being agressive and stupid. Obviously not every person, but he was facing terrorists, he believed he had seen the worst of worsts. He had seen men murdering innocent people, he had seen organizations turn children into mindless soldiers and he had seen mothers killing their loved ones and then themselves for the ‘greater good’. He had seen a lot. Like a lot . But he had never met any kind of supernatural monster, so yeah.

He had every right to be sceptical, and ironical, because he did not understand the fear of the unknown and darkness like a normal person did. Howls? There was no werewolf able to sound as a friend dying from an open wound. A growl? The unhappy sound of a terrorist being cuffed. A mug falling down? The reaction to a newly found biochemical weapon. No monsters, just people. Bad-people.

He started to feel bad for the monsters in books, tv shows and poems at one point. All that screaming, shouting and wanting to capture or kill them… Why were they the ones being chased? That was the other question. Why were the monsters always bad? Why would a werewolf or zombie or mummy or anything attack the human beings, like they did in the stories? To hunt them, taste their blood and eat them and their brains? Oh come on.

The fact that sharks don’t even like the taste of human meat must mean something!

But it could be the blood... All animals had blood, why would a vampire attack that one human being, when they could hunt a calm cow, or something. Much less screaming, much less effort, much easier target.

And don’t even start with the brain bullshit. Why would anything try to eat the brain?! The people mindlessly attacking others for being a little bit different than they are were empty anyway!

And also, why would a demon or spirit or whatever the fuck attack humans after their life? What if they are stuck and just need help? What if they just want to be friends?!

He believed in ghosts, tho, he did. But not the… ‘the white sheet with two holes for the eyes on it’ kind, obviously. He believed the ghosts of the past. The screaming in his nightmares about the wars, the eyeless people standing behind him in the mirror, the feeling of his mother’s gentle hand on his shoulder.

Ghosts.

But not the hollywood ghosts scaring innocent people. His own ghosts. Some of them were bad, some of them were good, even soothing. Mementos of his childhood, his first love, his daughter. Good ghosts, who never wanted to hurt him, in fact most of the time, they helped him in their own way.

And after all… everything started with a ghost.

The ghost of his father.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

When he first noticed the familiar figure, he was in the middle of buying baked beans in the supermarket. He was all alone, thinking about calling Penelope after dinner, to ask where would his grandson want to go this year for a little Trick-or-treating during Halloween, minding his own business with the cans, when he noticed a tall, dark figure just outside the shop’s front window.

He didn’t even notice it first, but when he felt the unmistakable feeling of being watched, he looked up, right at the dark figure. The long coat, the old hat, the wide shoulders; he caught himself thinking, Dad…? But his father died at least thirty years ago, so yeah. It was kinda suspicious.

He looked around, trying to find out if anybody could see the figure, and as he looked back, the window was empty.

Strange.

But the ghost of his father had never been a bad omen. Maybe he should visit his grave. Or perhaps it was a reminder that he forgot to put on his watch this morning, the one that once belonged to his father.

Shrugging, he went back to pick the beans and that was it.

Or so he thought.

Because, not long after this, he noticed the figure again. He was just arriving to his boat after a disgustingly long day of work, ready to open a beer and crash on his couch, when he saw the familiar silhouette from his peripheral vision. He turned his head, but as the last time, the figure was gone.

Mike lifted an eyebrow. It was his father’s birthday coming up soon. Heh. Motherfucker never missed a chance to make people wish him happy birthday after all.

Shrugging it off again, he entered the boat, and did as he planned with his beer and couch.

But obviously, it happened again. The tall figure standing patiently, just looking at him from afar when he arrived home, bought his supplies, walked down the streets. The well known shadow never moving, never looking like it was alive, never changing.

He once even noticed the figure standing at the docks, as if waiting for him to get home. It was strange and the feeling of being watched never seemed to disappear.

The last straw was when he noticed the shadow during the night he was with his daughter and grandson, Trick or treating, having fun. He almost missed it again, the silhouette standing in a dark alleyway just the other side of the road. As he saw the shadow there, Mike got furious all of a sudden. Hanging around, waiting for him was one thing, but bugging him during family times? A real jerk move.

As he noticed, he immediately stopped in his track and turned towards the figure, stepping down the pathway. His gaze was fixed on the figure that looked like its usual, frozen self, but as it noticed his attempt of getting closer, it did the strangest thing: it moved.

It wasn’t a scared wince or anything a normal human would do when they were discovered doing something bad, it was just a surprised lift of shoulders and a slight tilt of hat, but it was something . And as Mike took one more step forward, the figure did the same thing backward. And that was when the good omen of his father turned into a human monster, because who else would follow him around every night just standing still and watching. He had a stalker. One of the most disgusting kind of monsters.

His instincts kicking in, he reached for his gun, but the second he touched it an ear-rippingly loud car honk pushed him out of his state of mind. He was standing in the middle of the road and a very angry driver just honked at him again.

Looking at the man behind the wheel, Mike sniffed and let his gun slip back into its holster. He glanced back at the figure, but that motherfucker was gone. Of fucking course.

Great.

Not caring for the loud honking at all, he turned back and stepped on the pathway again.

A stalker.

Glancing back at the other side of the road, he lifted his chin, looking around.

A ghost? A stalker? A monster, maybe. A human one, who was apparently afraid of him.

It didn’t matter. It was time to end their relationship.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Except the figure disappeared.

Not in the term a ghost would, because Mike still felt like he was being watched, but he didn’t see the silhouette again. It pissed him off, but he was smarter than giving up. Instead, he turned to his team.

He asked Marius - one of the best tinkerers the world has ever seen in his opinion - to install a few cameras around his boat, so that he can monitor every movement from within his home, and Marius - although a little bit weirded out - delivered. Mike was satisfied, he finally got a chance to get ahead of the mysterious staker, now all he needed to was to be patient and he never had a problem with that.

He waited for three weeks without seeing the shadow again, but on the fourth Friday, he finally caught it on record. Since the cameras were recording live, and he spent his nights sitting in front of them, he just caught a glimpse of the figure’s coat. It was fucking four in the morning, and he was doozing off before, but the second he saw the movement, he got on his feet and reaching for his gun, he rushed to the exit of his boat, all tiredness forgotten.

The adrenaline was rushing in his ears as he burst out of the door, gun in hand. It took him just half a second to find the figure in the darkness, then he was already charging towards it, running like he never ran before.

“Stop right there!” he shouted and again, he caught the figure off guard; it winced from the sudden sound in the otherwise peaceful night. It looked around, trying to find a place to hide, clearly trying to escape, but the old soldier was fast. The moment the figure turned away in an attempt to run, it made a mistake and Mike caught it’s arm in his iron grip. The force of him tugging at the figure efficiently knocked it’s hat off just to reveal a patch of sweaty, ginger hair. He lifted an eyebrow, tugging at the arm again, trying to get a better look, but the figure just seemed to have more than enough of this abuse.

Knowing all too well that trying to slip from Mike’s grip was a useless motion, it instead planted its feet and turning on its heels it kicked the soldier on his side, efficiently knocking the air out of his lungs. Wheezing, Mike immediately let go of the arm, gasping for air. Growling swears he looked at the figure, but it was on the run already, making distance between the two of them.

Spitting, Mike got himself together, and rushed after the figure. He had been waiting for this fight since Halloween and he wasn’t going to let that motherfucker run away once more. The figure was fast, but Mike was angry, and it made him more dangerous and reckless. He had no problem keeping up with the pace, in fact, he was catching up to the shadow step by step. He was ready to finish this.

In their chase, Mike kind of forgot to look where he was going, but it didn’t really matter. The only thing in front of his eyes was the prize of finally catching this motherfucking stalker, the changing of landscape around them didn’t matter at all-

Until it did.

Mike had no idea how, but they ended up in the more abandoned corner of Hereford. There were mostly suburban areas or empty factories on this side of the town. How did they even get here!? He looked around in concern, taking deep breaths. He had no idea, he only started to notice everything around him just now.

He still had the figure right in front of him, but their distance started to grow as his legs got tired of the running. The adrenaline in his blood slowly faded away, and with that, his energy did too.

He soon noticed himself gasping for air, his sight getting a bit blurry, slowing down, which was- not a problem namely because the figure was heading towards the last building in the line, which turned out to be a… a church? Really? A church.

Before he could ridicule the shadow in his head, he saw it run straight up the front stairs of the building, and the next thing reaching his mind was the loud band of the door being shut.

Taking big gulps of air, Mike let himself collapse on the ground, eyes fixed on the building. This might have been the strangest night of his entire life, and it was far from over. Giving himself a few minutes, he just sat there, watching the building, kind of waiting for the figure to escape again, but there was no movement around the church. Odd.

He wiped the sweat off of his forehead and stretched as he stood up. Twisting, he popped his spine and with a low groan he approached the church. He couldn’t see any movement around the door, but as he stepped on the first stair, he noticed how a light had been lit in the window of the church tower. So, there was somebody home.

He pulled his gun out - just in case - and stepped to the door, slowly pushing it in; it wasn’t even properly closed. Holding his weapon as steady as possible, Mike stepped in. It was pitch black. Grimacing, he fished his small flashlight out of his pocket, turning it on. The narthex was empty, only a few old benches left, waiting since god-knows how long, for people who never came.

Mike looked around and noticed a smaller entrance door. Stepping there, he glanced inside the nave and seeing no movement, he entered. Looking around, he lowered his gun a little. Rows of benches, hand-made pillars, a few old, wooden sculptures of Saints here and there, with their additional little plaques of info. Mike hummed, directing his flashlight at each of them. There was nothing unusual, really just a worn down little church. He didn’t even know that there was a church in this part of the town and he has been living here for a good 10 years now.

Getting deeper into the building, he started to measure the space in his head, trying to find the stairs into the attic. It was a small church so it was not many places where they could hide the way up. His hard guess was behind the main altar, so he made his way there, making sure he was as silent as possible.

As he arrived into the crossing, he stopped to take a quick look into both of the transept sides, that was when he noticed it. It wasn’t a big thing to notice, but it was strange on its own. On one side he saw an old Virgin Mary, the other held an equally old St. Joseph. Squinting, he glanced back at the other sculptures in the nave. All of them were old, but otherwise clean. The benches were left to rot, but every statue was in the best shape, not a single part missing or paint being spotty.

“What the fuck?” Mike heard himself whisper, but glanced in the direction of the main altar. The Jesus there was in the best shape possible. Mike shook his head, and stepped up to the main altar. He glanced at the sculpture, tilting his head a little. “Listen, if he is just a strange fan of mine I won’t hurt him, but otherwise… I can’t promise you anything. Don’t come after me later, okay?” with a smirk, he shook his head. Always an atheist.

Behind the altar, he noticed a small door, hidden from even the front rows. Getting more and more relaxed in this very strange situation, he lowered his gun completely as he entered the small door and there he found it. The stairs to the attic! According to the soft lights at the top of the stairs, he found what he was looking for.

He switched off his flashlight and started to climb still as silent as possible. He was about… 99,9% sure the stalker knew about him, but still. This time, he wanted to be the one hiding in the dark.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

He was around half of the stair when he heard some kind of a rustling under his boots. He froze in the middle of his movement - not wanting to be heard -, and looked down in a slight panic. Squinting, he leant down; a plastic bag? Okay, what now?!

He gently stepped off the bag and lifted it up in the weak light of the staircase. Mike’s eyes rounded as he recognized the object in his hand. It was a very strong bag with rows and rows of writing printed on it, informing the handler about the date, the place and the type of blood. 0-. Mike closed his eyes and opened them again, hoping that the plastic bag would… maybe miraculously turn into fairy dust and butterflies, but the plastic bag remained. Normally he was okay to see this bag, it was a useful little object, you know, saving lives here and there, but- this one was empty. Why the fuck was it emtpy, it was clearly used before. He glanced up at the top of the stairs. Okay what the fuck.

Taking a gulp of air, he stuffed the bag in his pocket and continued his way up. As he got to the last few steps, he first noticed a door on top of the stairs, and it being slightly open, he heard a soft sound. Stopping yet again, he tried to concentrate, and soon could make out the sound of fabric rustling and gentle tones of a piano.

Getting more and more confused, he finished his journey up, lifted his gun in front of himself, and without knocking or giving any warning, he burst into the attic, just to be greeted by a pair of green eyes fixed on him. He lifted his eyebrows. He has seen this look somewhere, but he couldn’t, for the love of god, tell where.

The eyes belonged to a - very - handsome face of a young man. He had elegant and sharp features, with a bit of arrogance hidden in his posture. He was without a doubt attractive, but Mike couldn’t care, because the young man had locks of ginger hair on his head, and who had that as well? His dear stalker. So he pointed the gun at the other, who was annoyingly calm.

“It took you long enough to get up the stairs. Might be the age,” said the stranger, with an amused little smirk. He looked away, down to the table and reaching out he poked on the phone laying on the surface. The soft piano stopped. “I started to get worried.”

Anger building in him, Mike gritted his teeth. “Who are you? Why are you following me? What do you want? What the fuck is this?!”

The stranger smiled at that, looking back at him, never noticing the gun. “My name is Olivier Flament. I have been following you, because I need to ask you a favour. I would like to ask for your help in an important matter. As for what… I believe this is my home.”

Struck by the strange honesty of the other Mike blinked a few, lowering his gun just a tiny bit. “What matter? Why were you following me?”

“I told you, I need your hel-”

Mike cut in. “Why were you following me everywhere for almost three months?”

The man fell silent, he glanced at the table. He almost seemed… shy?

“Spit it out!” Mike grumbled, making the other look up. His posture might have been calm, but his eyes were like the sea before the storm.

“I didn’t know how to approach you, see my lifesty-”

“So you decided to follow me, even with my family and when I try to catch you, you run? Almost not suspicious.”

Olivier looked at him for a few long seconds, trying to figure him out. It has been harder than he planned so far, and if he didn’t play it cool, he would get into a deep problem. “Look, I didn’t mean to scare you, but-”

“Oh you didn’t scare me.” Mike lifted his gun, pointing straight to the other’s head. “You made me angry. ”

The young man turned his head down, now looking guilty. “I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt you or your family, I swear to God. I need your help. Please, just listen-!”

Mike watched him, standing there, one hand on the table, leaning there a bit, trying to move away from him. He noticed something… inhuman in this man, something otherworldly. The posture, the face, the eyes… It was so strange. Not unpleasant, far from it, just odd.

The soldier lowered his gun a little, and took the plastic bag out of his pocket, throwing it in front of the other. “What is this crap?”

Looking down, Olivier hummed. “That’s my favourite. I probably had the same type back in the Dark Ages, and now I find it delicious.”

Mike’s grip on the gun tightened. “Quit the jokes, mate!”

The young man didn’t answer, he just glanced to the left. Following his eyes, Mike looked away, just to see a little fridge. It had an open cooler bag in front of it, what had about 10-15 similar blood packs in it. He looked at the man again, grimacing in disgust. “You are sick.”

The other shook his head. “I am really not. Don’t think that I enjoy drinking human blood in particular. It is not a very exciting diet after 800 years, but it does what it needs to, and still better than starving, or hunting and hurting the innocent.”

Mike glanced at the bags again, and then back at the man standing in front of him. “If you tell me, you are a fucking vampire, I will vomit.”

The sides of Olivier’s mouth pulled up into a gentle smile, and crossing his arms in front of him, he nodded. “I suppose… my secret’s out.”

“You are joking!” Mike blinked.

Olivier shook his head with that amused little smile. “No. And you didn’t vomit. Surprising.”

The soldier shook his head. “You are crazy!”

“Says the man who chased another through a town, gun held high, ready to murder.”

With an unamused grimace Mike rolled his eyes. “You should be happy that I’m just holding my gun and not using it.”

“Not to sound too smart, but that wouldn’t do too much harm on my body. See, this is the problem. As far as I know, I’m pretty undestroyable.”

Mike lifted an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Olivier nodded. “If you would like, I can show you,” before finishing, he already reached for a letter opener on his table. It looked sharp, and he held it out for Mike to see, then without a heartbeat, he pressed the edge into his own palm.

For reasons unknown, Mike immediately reached out, to catch his hands before he could hurt himself, but confusion hit him even more, when there was not a single drop of blood coming out of the wound. In fact, the raw flesh - or at least what was supposed to be the raw flesh - did not look the way it was supposed to look like. It was not red and healthy, but grey and… there wasn’t any blood. Not a single drop.

Mike slapped his palm across his mouth, and shutting his eyes, he took two steps back, turning his face away. There was no blood, there was no smell, there was nothing . Nothing human. What the fuck. Now he felt like vomiting. He looked up at Olivier. “What the fuck is… What!?”

The man looked at him and humming, he put down the letter opener. He picked up a piece of fabric, wrapped it around his hand. It didn’t really serve any purpose other than hiding the disturbing wound from Mike out of pure sympathy. It wasn’t an easy thing to see. ���You seemed very confident in yourself just a second ago.”

“Fuck.” With a huge sigh, Mike held back his dinner, and taking a deep breath he adjusted his posture. “Okay. Okay. Let’s pretend, for a second, that I believe you. What do you really want? What kind of help do you need from me ? Do you want to eat me, or something? That is why am I here?”

Hearing this, Olivier suddenly seemed annoyed. “If you would just calm down a little, I would tell you everything!”

“Get on with it!” Mike shouted suddenly, with his gun held up again.

The man- or vampire- or what the fuck stood there, mouth slightly open, eyes helpless. He bit his bottom lip and turned his head down again, lifting both his hands in a soothing motion. “Please... “ he glanced up at him again, almost scared. “I know exactly how this sounds, alright? But I… I don’t want to cause harm to you, I swear. I wanted to introduce myself to you, but I have spent the last… forty-something years of my life being in- being alone, and I had no idea how to approach you! This is the truth, I don’t- I don’t want to hurt you, you are not my type! I do not even enjoy hunting humans, all that screaming and blood and waste…” Olivier shook his head slowly, looking Mike in the eyes. “I swear. I don’t want to eat you, I don’t want to harm you, I’m more than happy with those bags. I genuinely need your help!”

With jaws clenched, Mike watched his every move, considering his options. He slowly lowered his gun, and side-eyeing the vampire, he turned around to observe the surroundings. It was a way of getting used to the situation, and also it was a test of the other. He wanted to see how Olivier reacts to him in his own home, if it could even be called that. With a frown, he looked around.

The attic was spacious, with a few smaller windows built into the roof. It was divided into two, a smaller room, which reminded him of an office, that was where they were standing. It had a heavy, old table - Olivier waiting patiently beside that - pushed under a window, close to the wall, an equally old leather chair, a few cabinets with papers, candles, smaller and bigger containers, a small, locked chest, and other unusual stuff piled on them and the fridge with the fantastic blood bags in it.

The other half of the attic was just behind Olivier. Not knowing what to expect, Mike looked around. He didn’t see a bed or a coffin or anything where somebody would be able to rest comfortably, but he had a hard guess that Oliver - if he was truly what he said to be - didn’t really need sleep. However he saw an old couch and two nice armchairs in front of a- a- a bookshelf. Well. A bookshelf was a very, very weak expression. It wasn’t just one bookshelf, he saw at least three or four of them, and each one was stacked with books. And not just the shelves, no, there were books everywhere. Everywhere. It looked like a motherfucking library over there. Piles of books behind the couch, around the armchairs, stuffed into the window slots, put on the beams and around the columns. It was so messy, yet amazing, Mike couldn’t help but let an amused little snort out.

He looked back at Olivier, who was still standing next to the table, waiting for him, without a single movement. He didn’t take a breath, he didn’t blink. Sniffing, Mike lowered his gun completely. “A vampire?”

Olivier nodded.

“How old are you?”

“As far as I remember, I have been turned-” he hummed. “ around AD 750-850.”

Mike lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘around’?”

Olivier cleared his throat, looked away as if he was embarrassed. “We didn’t really have birth certificates back then and my memory is kind of blurry from a 1200 years of perspective, don’t judge me.”

Mike hummed. “Is this your real name?”

“I have been called many names over the years, I don’t know if you have noticed, but it’s sort of suspicious if somebody uses a name for 1200 years, but don’t worry. For those who I wish to get close to myself I am Olivier Flament, yes.”

“Why are you talking like this…? I’m a simple man.”

“Then you might know that old habits die hard.”

Not being able to hold back, Mike smirked at that. “Touché.”

Olivier nodded gently. “Would you like to ask anything else?”

“Who turned you? Are there more of you?”

Looking away, Olivier started to fidget with the phone - actually an iPhone - on his table. “I don’t really know who turned me and I don’t know about the others. To be honest, I don’t wish to have any connection with them anymore. I have had enough, especially since the so-called “Dracula” figure ruined our reputation in popular culture.”

Lifting his eyebrows, Mike almost burst out laughing. “You are- you are hurt by the movies?”

“Since they tell false facts, obviously yes.”

“Why don’t you correct them, then?”

Now it was Olivier’s turn to lift his eyebrow. “And how do you expect me to do that? March over, knock on the silver gates of Hollywood and say ‘Excuse me, we do not actually sparkle under the sunlight, says me, an actual vampire!’ or what? I’m not a fool. As soon as I tell the humans what I am, there would be one of these two options: one, they would want me to turn them into vampires as well, for the fun of living forever, or the second, they would panic as the herd of animals they are and chase me until they either catch or kill me. Not like they would succeed in any of these options, but it’s easier for me to just lay back in silence and busy myself with the old knowledge of the early ages.”

Mike, taken aback, just shut up for a few seconds, lifting his palms in a protective gesture, but it was for the looks only. He somehow did not feel the need to protect himself anymore, in fact, Oivier reacting so seriously to a simple joke put him at ease. He liked it here, and he found himself being interested in the other. It was still a far-fetched idea, and he was still 60% sure that he will wake up on the ground in his boat, with a few empty bottles of whiskey around him, but this wasn’t so bad after all. The vampire seemed almost nice, and he was never really down to judge at the first glance, so why not wait and hear him out?

Noticing his own rambling, Olivier fake-cleared his throat again and turned down his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I assume you have been saving this up since a very long time.”

“Indeed.”

With a small, amused smile Mike shrugged. “It’s okay. But if you don’t want to tell people what you are, why tell me?”

“I have heard about you before, and I trust that you won’t tell my secret to anybody. I believe you could help me with my problem. I know it is very hard for you to understand my reasons and drive, but I put my trust into you.”

Mike narrowed his eyes. “What do you need my help for?”

“I want you to help me die.”

Mike turned towards the man standing on his right, eyes wide with shock. He let his gaze wander, just for a second, on the other. His tall, proud posture, his handsome face, basking in the dim candle light, his gentle, green eyes now looking at him full with hope, expecting help. How could a so-called monster look this innocent, the soldier couldn’t fathom. Why would he want to die? And more importantly, why would he want to be killed by somebody like Mike?

In his wandering, he almost missed the way the other’s lips pulled into a small smile. “You won’t help me, will you?”

Lifting his chin a bit, Mike looked the other in the eyes and he couldn’t help, but think ‘what a waste’, but shook his head anyway. “I don’t enjoy murdering people, but if you have a good enough reason I will. But you have lots and lots of explaining to do before we get to it.”

The man seemed caught off guard- almost surprised for a second, but his smile widened as hope filled him even more.

Mike shook his head, looking away. What a waste. He didn’t like the idea of killing the other. He kind of started to like him in a very twisted way, but he understood why somebody would want to die after 1200 years of living in the dark.

Olivier stepped closer to him, offering his hand gently, a smile as bright as the sun.

Mike glanced away with a low sigh. “What have I gotten myself into? Mike Baker, by the way.”

“I know!” with a soft laugh, the vampire shook his hand. “I told you, I have heard about you. And as for what… Let’s just sit down, and let me tell you my story first, okay?”

Stepping back a little, Mike looked him in the eyes. After a long pause, he nodded. “Okay. You can start with how you know me.”

Olivier nodded, and stepped into the other part of the attic, gesturing towards one of the armchairs. “Have a seat.”

Mike put his gun on the big table and followed Olivier into the ‘living-room’. He looked around a bit, observing the piles of books here and there and with an amused smirk, he sat down. The armchair creaked under his weight and he frowned. “How long since you invited anybody here?”

Olivier looked at him, sitting down on the couch. “This is a fairly new place for me, truth to be told, I have only lived here for about ten years. But in the term of having interaction with humans and other vampires… It’s been just about thirty years or so. I prefer being alone.”

Nodding, Mike kicked off his shoes and put his legs on top of a strong pile of books. Olivier rolled his eyes with a smile, but he didn’t say anything. “So,” Mike began. “Why me?”

Fidgeting with his fingers, the vampire looked away, and then back at Mike. “I knew your grandfather, and also your dad.”

Let me know what you think!! <3 

#dragonwrites #dragontries #dualrainbow #siege-o-ween 2020 #r6s #rainbowsixsiege #fanfic #fanfiction #r6s Thatcher #r6s Lion #r6s Bandit #r6s Jäger

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

Mötley Crüe Christmas Imagines

A/N: Guess who decided to post a Christmas fic when Christmas is over? Me! ( I just hope they don’t suck, lol)

Vince

“I can’t believe you did all this, for me!” You said as soon as entering your house.

Every Christmas decoration was already set up: the Christmas tree looked beautiful with all the colorful lights and the golden balls. Also a wonderful breakfast was placed on the kitchen table. Your boyfriend Vince shrugged his shoulder ( like it was not that big of a deal), then he smiled, not with his usual charming smirk but with a genuine smile.

“Well I know that you’d be tired from your night shift, and well Christmas is a stressful period, so I wanted to help !” He said opening his arms, waiting for you to come.

It’d always blow your mind how the Vince you knew was so different from the one that the rest of the world was used to know. He was kind, generous and sweet, other than like a sex machine; surely you two weren’t saints, but he could be also romantic. Many people didn’t get that, and that’s why a first they tried to convince you to not date him, but you were glad that you didn’t listen to them, you ended up with the sweetest boyfriend ever.

You crashed in his arms and he picked you up, bridal style, then he placed you on the couch. You two kissed passionately but, when you tried to spice things up, you noticed two mugs of hot chocolate; you started to smile widely since you loved drinking white hot chocolate at Christmas.

“How do you know that I loved white chocolate specifically?”

“Well… your mother could have told me that the last time we visited your parents.”

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world !” You affirmed happily.

“Well my love, I think we should eat something and then you go right to sleep !” He stated serious.

“But it’s Christmas Eve !” You protested like a baby.

“Yeah and I need you to be awake tonight for opening your present !”

“ You mean my presents.”

“Yep those, too !” He said with a malicious smirk.

You punched him playfully then you went to grab the trays on the table and bring them in the living room. Vince already put the TV on a stupid Christmas movie, while you went to his side and you two started cuddling.

When you turned your gaze towards the window, you noticed that everything was white. Was it really snowing or you were just dreaming?

“Vinnie, it’s snowing outside !” You said excited as a little baby.

“Well we better go to see it, then!” He replied and picked you up, walking towards the door. You tried to fight while laughing, but his grip was strong.

When he arrived in front of it, he simply stopped, turned you to face him and place a soft kiss on your lips.

“Later we will do a snow balls battle. If you win, you can make me do whatever you want for the night, if I do, I decide!” You decided.

“If you want to do dirty things to me, you can just ask.” He replied with a malicious smirk.

“ Nice try baby, but I really want to see that film, now!”

Both of you sat on the couch again, Vince embraced sweetly while he played softly with your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling.

Everything seemed so perfect, almost a Christmas miracle.

Nikki

You opened your eyes, your heart still pounding in your chest as you went to turn at the other side of the bed. There was nobody.

You started panicking, rushing to the kitchen as soon as you could. Today was Christmas, and you were well aware what happened one year ago to this very day : your boyfriend Nikki overdosed, died and was brought back to life; also you had just dreamed about losing him again, waking up only to find and empty bed and it seemed like your nightmare had become reality.

But as soon as you entered into the kitchen, you could hear some soft noises. Nikki was kneeled on the floor, searching into some cupboards something that you didn’t know for sure.

“A-Are you okay Nik?” You asked worried, and your boyfriend turned in your direction. He had to see the concern written on your face, because he rushed to your side, crushing you in a hug.

“Is there something wrong, babe?”

"I-It's s-silly don't worry about it!" You dismissed it.

You didn't want to admit that you were scared to lose him again. It was supposed to be an happy day and you didn't want to bring the mood down.

"Nothing about you is silly, you can talk to me !"

"I- I woke up and you weren't there. S-So I-I thought that you were gone, again. Like last year." You whispered the last part, too scared that if you said that out loud, it'd be reality.

Nikki pulled you to him even tightly, as he started to whisper sweet nothing into your ears.

"I'm so sorry honey ! I woke up early and I wanted to surprise you but I couldn't find a thing. I didn't mean to scare you !" He said sadly, as he started to rub some circles on your back to calm you down.

"It's okay Nikki! You're so thoughtful. It was just a stupid fear, you are here now!" You said like it was still hard to believe it.

"I'm so sorry to have put you in so much pain. Wanna set up the last decoration while I cook some eggnog and we play some dumb board games?"

You nodded weekly than started to heading towards some boxes put in a corner : you could see a mistletoe, a little hanging Santa and a picture with written :" Merry Fucking Christmas"

You laughed a bit and put them as quickly as you could; then you rushed into the kitchen and hugged koala style your boyfriend.

“Here's your eggnog, my love!"

"You're my best present ever. I don't what to think what I'd have done if I had lost you that night!"

"But you didn't and now I'm too grateful for this second chance to waste it. And you won't get rid of me that easily, this time!" Nikki kissed you with so much love, then you two sat on the kitchen's counter, drinking you eggnog and enjoying each other's company.

Nikki was there and he was okay. And that was what mattered.

Tommy

You were well aware that Tommy was a child, but you never thought that he’d asked you to buy him a kid’s toy.

“Tommy, you’re an adult, do you understand it?” You said exasperated.

“C’mon baby, I want it and it’s Christmas !” He protested, whining.

“It’s a little robot! I doubt you’ll play with it much with the tour and all of that.”

“ Sweet pie I promise you that I’ll use it. And it’s a bomb ass robot, who cares if it’s meant for children ! I’m a kid at heart.” He tried to convince you again.

“First of all don’t “sweet pie” me. Then I can guarantee you that you won’t use it and either I have to play with it or it’ll rust in a corner. Even worse, you can just break him in two days, because you are were drunk!” You were not angry, and Tommy knew it, but also you tried to be the adult of the situation ( failing a bit).

“Yeah whatever, now I have to go to rehearsal. I guess I’ll come home and I’ll be sad and disappointed, at Christmas, the most joyful time of the year !” He said dramatically, hoping to convince you (and damn it was working); then he simply left you there in the store, your eyes fixed on the robot.

You rational part was trying to convince you that it was a stupid and quite useless idea, but your heart was totally crazy for that childish drummer, so you sighed in defeat and  decided to buy it. Even if you surrender at the idea to gave the toy to Tommy as his Christmas present, you wanted to prank him a bit, so you decided also to buy an ugly Christmas sweater.

When you heard Tommy entering through the door, you had been in the house for 10 minutes already so you put your present under the tree and went to put up the last decorations.

“How did rehearsal go?” You asked smiling.

“Good, my love. This album will be so awesome !” Then he turned his gaze to the Christmas tree. "Is it my gift?" He said pointing something under the tree.

"Yup! You can open it now if you want to." You said nonchalantly.

He bolted towards his present, excited as a kid, and opened it : his happy face turned into a disappointed one, pretty soon. He totally had to see the sweater.

“I-It’s r-really b-beautiful, my love.” He said, trying to be as polite as possible. You wanted to play along for a bit more but you couldn’t keep your laughter any longer.

“I’m so sorry love, but the look on your face is too funny! I couldn’t resist it! The real gift is behind the tree.” You admitted, continuing to laughing, your cheeks becoming red as a tomato.

Tommy flipped you off, then he went to grab the mysterious hidden box. If he wanted to be pissed off with you, as soon as he saw the robot, he totally changed his attitude and a wide smile appeared on his face.

“ Thank you, Y/N ! Dude, it’s awesome I thought you didn’t want to buy it !”

“Well, I guess that I’m that of a sucker for you !” You answered back, your heart full of joy because of your boyfriend’s happy face. Tommy hugged you so tight that you almost suffocated, then he lifted you and made you spin.

“I love you so much Y/N!”

“I love you too Tommy. Only you could make me buy a children’s toy as a grown man’s Christmas present.

Mick

“Wow, you really went overboard with decorations, didn’t you?” Your boyfriend Mick said, raising an eyebrow as he was looking in the chart. You two were at the mall, trying to find the last Christmas decoration to put into your house.

“This is what people do at Christmas, Mick !” You said, rolling your eyes.

You were not a holidays fanatic, but also you really enjoyed being in the festivity mood. On the other hand, Mick was really not that into Christmas and just found all the decoration, the presents and the big amount of food, totally excessive and unnecessary.

“Then people should calm the fuck down!”

You looked at him with a fake pouty face. You were a bit upset by Mick’s attitude, but you also know that his grumpy façade would eventually fall off, with some puppy eyes and sweet kisses; and you also love him for his being an “old man”, even tho you were just two years younger than him.

“You totally upset me now! You just ruined Christmas !” You said dramatically, trying to get a bit on his nerves.

“C’mon Y/N don’t be that dramatic! I admit that there are not that many decorations. For a Christmas addict.” He stated, smirking.

“What did you just say?” You replied horrified.

“Well we can’t deny that!”

“ Okay old man, now I AM going  to buy some more decoration, while you buy some like Halloween stuff or I don’t know!” You tried to sound angry.

In reality you were a bit disappointed with his behavior, because Christmas has always been that time of the year where you could feel like a child again, trying to forget all the responsibilities of an adult and just enjoy silly Holidays music and decorations. But also you knew that he didn’t really mean it, and that you should be upset, he just do that. You know the real Mick, the sweet and caring one that he only showed to you; maybe you should just wait to let things cool down and then come back and explain your reasons.

You decided to do it, and after five minutes and two new Christmas balls ( they were too cute, not to be bought) you reach your boyfriend looking at some random trees. As soon as he saw you, he pull out a fake mistletoe and raise it on both of your heads.

“What’s happening?” You asked, confused.

“ Usually people kiss under this thing.” He replied unfazed.

“Is this a subtle way for asking for a kiss?” You said, with a laugh.

“It’s a way to say that maybe you’re not that much of a Christmas addict. And maybe that I should just be less angry about it.”

“Aww, it’s okay. I kinda love when you act like the Grinch; but I think I also should just told you that Christmas means much to me, and not act like an offended baby. Now we should really kiss under this mistletoe!”

You two shared a softy and quick kiss, not wanting to show off in public.

“ I think it’s better if we go home to put this decorations up!” You said, a bit excited.

“At Halloween I’m going to choose what to put up in our house.” He decided with a serious tone.

“Yes sir.” You declared, playfully.

#Motley Crue #motley crue fanfic #christmas fanfic #imagines #Vince Neil #nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #mick mars #80srock #80s rock band #fanfic #vince neil x reader #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #mick mars x reader

[ghost-nabbers-imagines]

They Propose: Sal

Tumblr updated while I was trying to upload this and I lost the entire thing twice🙄 and let me just say how much this 100 paragraph limit thing sucks. Get your shit together Tumblr. also in this Larry and Sal live together but not with Neil and Todd.

He made the decision really late one night after waking up from a nightmare. The second he woke up struggling to breath and his whole body shaking he knew he wanted one thing. You.

He clutched the jacket you left at his place holding it against his scarred face as he tried to steady his shaky breaths. The scent of your perfume/cologne comforting him. Once he was able to breathe again he pulled up a photo of the two of you on his phone. He had been thinking about it for a while but now he was sure.

He jumped from bed and ran out and straight into his best friends room not bothering to knock knowing it wouldn’t wake the sleeping metal head. Larry was laying on his stomach his hair and limbs everywhere. Sal used all his might trying to wake Larry which ended in them both falling onto the wooden floor.

“Ow what the fuck dude. When I told you if you had nightmares you could come wake me up I didn’t mean that you could shove me out of the fuckin bed.”

“Sorry Larry but I had to tell you something right now!”

The two step bros took a seat on the edge of Larry’s bed.

“What is it?”

“I’m gonna Propose to S/O!”

“Wait for real little dude? That’s killer!”

The two would share a hug before diving right into coming up with the perfect plan.

He saved up for three months straight only spending money on rent and groceries. Not only did he work his normal work shifts but did a shit ton of odd jobs and stuff to make a little extra cash.

The day he went to go get the ring he brought Lisa and Ash to help. Henry, Larry, Chug, Maple, and Neil and Todd all hung out in the food court keeping you distracted.

When he first walked into the jewelry store the employees were a bit concerned but Sal immediately introduced himself and asked for help.

“I need to find a ring for the love of my life.”

Spends like an hour or two looking at the different options and discussing them.

“Wait that’s the ring! That one in the back it’s perfect! How much?”

He had just enough money to purchase the ring and he couldn’t have been more thrilled.

He decided on the simple yet very romantic plan of a picnic at the lake. He’d cook you a romantic meal, serenade you with his guitar, and pop the question. Then once you said yes Larry and Ash would set off some fireworks from the hiding spot across the lake.

All he would tell you was you needed to dress semi fancy, and meet him at the lake.

The day of the event he woke up feeling beyond nervous, almost sick to his stomach.

Larry came over right away and the two began cooking.

“We’re so gonna Gordon Ramsay this shit my dude!”

“Hell yeah we are! Let’s get cooking!”

Things didn’t go quite as planned tho.

The spaghetti was all stuck together and both undercooked and overcooked, the appatizers were hard as a rock and blacker than charcoal, the cake was literally on fire. Once they got that put out they both sat down on the kitchen floor covered in food Sal feeling defeated.

“They’re never gonna marry me I can’t even make a meal right!”

“That’s not true dude you’ve cooked for me lots of times.”

“Well unless S/O wants to eat cereal, frozen pizza, and toast for the rest or their life I really don’t!”

“I think it’s time we called in the professional dude.”

“But I don’t wanna make your mom work on her day off.”

“She loves you dude she’s not gonna care. Besides We’ll help her.

Lisa ends up helping them make a cute heart shaped pizza with home made garlic bread and her secret sugar cookie recipe.

He gets cleaned up and dresses in his best outfit. Once he gets to the lake he sets everything up; he lays out the blanket, the elegant mosquito lanterns Ash helped him make, the flower petals, and the food. Everything was perfect.

When you got there he was tuning his guitar one last time.

“Aww Sal this is so beautiful.”

“B-baby hey! I didn’t hear you walk up.”

You about gave he boy a heart attack he’s so nervous.

He hugs you and lifts up his mask enough to give you a kiss.

You two sit down and he prepares your plate for you.

“Sorry it’s just pizza I tried to make you something fancier but Larry and I about burnt down our house. Thankfully Lisa helped.”

“Why am I not surprised. And that’s fine by me babe. It looks delicious. You never go wrong with pizza.”

He smiling and so relived.

You lift the slice of pizza to your lips only for a clap of thunder to boom making you both jump and look towards the sky.

Small drops of water started to quickly hit your skin causing Sal to panic.

“No no no! It can’t be raining! Not now! I checked the weather ten times today alone!”

“It’s ok babe let’s just get this cleaned up.”

You two quickly cleaned up the picnic and ran into the parking lot seeing Larry and Ash sitting in her car soaking wet.

“Larry and Ash are here?”

“Yeah I think he said something about trying out some fireworks.”

Ash opened up the back door letting you in while Sal disappointedly tossed his picnic in the trash before joining you.

“McDonalds?”

“Sure I’d kill for some fries!”

“Do you mind continuing our date with these two? I’m starving.”

“Sure babe.”

He barely even said it loud enough to hear. He was suddenly distant and far away.

When you got there Larry and Ash went up to order you sat in a booth with Sal. He stared aimlessly out the window. You watch worriedly till the small sniffles and shaking started.

“Babe it’s really not a big deal I promise! Our dates are always fun no matter what! All that matters is that we’re together.”

“N-no it’s not that. Tonight was supposed to be special. Tonight was supposed to be special and I messed it up.”

“It’s always special Sal. I love you babe I don’t need fancy picnics or anything.”

“You shouldn’t have to settle for me.”

“I’m not settling at all I love McDonald’s dates with you, Larry, and Ash. And I’m in love with you. I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

Sal stared at you for a second his eyes intense and caring.

“Let me up for a second.”

You stood up out of the table him following. After taking his mask off he grabs your hands and gets down on one knee making the entire restaurant turn to look at you both.

“This isn’t how I wanted to do this. It was supposed to be romantic and sweet and classy. But I guess that’s what life does to plans. It flips them on their head. But S/O my love, you’re my best friend, my soul mate, my true love. You’re who I want to fall asleep with and wake up with. When I have nightmares or panic attacks there’s nobody I’d rather be with than you. You make me feel whole again. Like I’m no longer the faceless broken man I was years ago. You make me feel like the most important, handsome, loved, special person in the universe. I want you to be my forever. Will you do me the honor of being my (husband/wife/spouse)?”

“Sal of course I’ll marry you!”

He wrapped his arms around you kissing you passionately before putting the ring on.

He was in tears he was so happy.

Keeps repeating thank you.

“I’m the happiest man alive thank you so much.”

Larry and Ash rejoin you and congratulate you.

“Told you they would say yes Sal.”

“I can’t believe we spent all that time preparing for you to do it in a McDonald’s.”

“I know dude I’m a lucky bastard that they said yes. And that we didn’t burn our hosue down before I had the chance to ask.”

“In speaking of the house are you alright with me moving in with you guys Larry?”

“You want me to stay?”

“Yeah babe you’re ok living with Larry we could find our own place if you wanted.”

“And risk losing Johnson in a fire? Someone needs to teach you boys to cook.”

[andysandfordcomedy]

Words to Graduate By

I’ll be honest here. If I were to travel back in time and tell my younger self that I would one day be giving a commencement speech at the graduation ceremony of a prestigious university, I’d think I was nuts. Firstly, I’d have a hard time buying the whole time traveler story, even from my older self. I mean, why would I waste a trip in time just to tell me about a speech I had to give? Beyond all that tho, I am a high school dropout who makes an artist’s living from stand up comedy: the least respected of the fine arts. Who would hire me to inspire college graduates? Well, older, time-travelling me would know that I was not hired to write or give such a speech, but have taken it upon myself to publish the speech I would give, were a prestigious university to sac up and give your boy the opportunity. Younger me can go on believing he accrues some sort of clout in academia in his mid 30′s. Why take that away from me/him?! My mom would be very happy if this were the case, and it doesn’t hurt anyone, so not a word of this to my mother, please.

Anyway, I’m not here to plead for my mother’s piece of mind, or defend my frivolous use of time travel. I am here to disseminate words of wisdom and warning to the young hearts and minds who are about to make their mark on the absolute shit show that they have inherited from the multitude of prior, fucked up generations. The dumbasses who hamfistedly paved the way so that their future trustees (y’all) could go fuck yourselves. The future is in the hands of all you young, goofy mother fuckers now. The garbage humans before you have made their mess, and now get to be the burden for all youse left in charge of this impossible nightmare dystopia. I implore all of you to nurture not your bitterness. Sure, it would be easy to complain about the state of global affairs and the dying planet in which they fester. YES, you face great adversity, but hop off the goddam cross for a sec. We all know that such adversity makes you stronger, unless of course it just crushes you. You are welcome for that. True greatness shows itself in tumultuous times. That’s something I have read somewhere I believe, or maybe I made it up, but it sounds right, right?! The point is: don’t let your depressing circumstance bring you down. Remember that you can always off yourself if the pain is too much. I’m saying, last resort *obviously*, but it IS an option, so take comfort in that. 

Don’t be afraid to take chances. Lord knows your parents and grandparents rolled the dice like there was no tomorrow. Of course, there was a tomorrow and it is today, but your tomorrow is definitely a goner. Big bummer, I know, but belly aching won’t bring about a habitable planet for your kids to also be ungrateful for. The truth is, fossil fuels are kind of the shit, and we never considered the potential harm in our “smoke em if you got em” approach to nonrenewable resources. Oopsy! It’s not your fault that we had coal power everything for a couple hundred years, but that’s what happened and you don’t get to cry about it now. The shit is gone, kids. Go find your own fossil fuel to burn up: make your OWN WAY. 

Pull yourselves up by your bootstraps and make shit happen, just like no one before you. Get yourself a job or three to pay off the education you were told would give you a leg up. Yes, you are an indentured servant that is being charged interest for the means to a whiff of a piece of the pie, but tuition is outrageous and you weren’t patient enough to save up the few 100 grand it would have taken for you to avoid being in anyone’s pocket. Look at Rodney Dangerfield in “Back to School.” He made millions FIRST and went to college in his 60′s. That was a movie, but anything is possible if you aren’t the one who has to do it, I think.

This speech has really gone off the rails, and I hope to leave you on a positive note, so let’s see if I can pull such a sentiment out of my ass. Life is what you make it, and you gotta make it from the rubble of your ancestors’ mistakes. Yikes. Who would wanna bring a child into this world? I think you guys should just party like Van Halen (David Lee Roth Van Halen) and make the world your hotel suite. Chuck a tv out the window! Nuke the people farthest away from you! Set up an Etsy account offering handmade crafts to consumers, but ship them all big turds in adorable gift bags. 

 It is a gift to know that your lives matter very little. The pressure is off. Your entire generation is on a runaway train to Fucksville, and morality is out the window. Seize this gift of inconsequential existence and give it a furious handjob. The future is NOW because there ain’t nuthin after this. God bless you, you poor bastards, and God bless the United States of America. I’ll be performing at the Melbourne, FL Yuk-em-ups June 11-14. Promo code: SandFART for half off tix. See you in hell, losers! 

[gukyi]

we were. | jjk

⇒ summary: not all once upon a time’s have happily ever after’s.

⇒ breakup!au

⇒ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇒ word count: 1.5k

⇒ genre: angst

⇒ warnings: n/a

⇒ a/n: i’m in such a jungkook mood lately tbh. i swear im not swerving tho. requested by anon!

Jungkook loves you.

He loves the way your eyes scrunch up when you laugh at one of the jokes he makes, no matter how awful they may be. He loves how you always try to beat him at his favorite video games, and how you pummel him with the throw pillows on your couch when he lets you win. He loves how you dance in the car when you’re taking long road trips, not caring who looks into the window from the highway lane next to you. He loves everything about you, everything that makes you one-of-a-kind, unadulterated and wonderful and his.

There’s always been something drawing him to you. Some enchanting aura Jungkook swears is the work of witches, because how can someone like you have so much magic at the tip of their fingers, sparks flying with each move of their hand? How can someone hide so many secrets behind those hooded lids of theirs, only to reveal a galaxy in their irises the second they meet his eyes? Jungkook swore he’d never fall for someone like you, someone that makes him think it’s safe to fall, that the pain is worth the pleasure, but that’s you.

He should have never trusted Namjoon when he told him he’s got a “friend that he might like”, never agreed to showing up to one of his riffraff house parties and seen you lounging against his beige walls. He should have turned the other way, left the apartment and gone home. He should have pretended not to notice you, sticking to the group of friends he feels comfortable with, but there’s no escaping you, not in his dreams, not in his nightmares.

Perhaps it’s a good thing that Jungkook can’t get you out of his mind, because that’s what leads him back, that’s what makes him ask if you’ll be at Namjoon’s next house party. It’s what gets him to muster up the courage to ask for you number, suggest a first date that has his insides churning at the sight of your smile.

It’s all a sign, he thinks, how you pull him in and don’t let him leave. That first date goes remarkably well, better than any other first date he’s had. Or maybe it’s just because of you that he enjoys it, how you keep his head spinning and his mind reeling and his heart thumping with every syllable uttered from your voice, every soft move of your fingers. It’s electrifying, being with you. He’s never had so many of his nerves feel like they’re aflame, never felt such a rush of energy in his life when your hand subtly brushes against his. It’s clear you feel the attraction too, and Jungkook feels like he’s on fire.

One date turns into two, turns into three, turns into seven, and Jungkook has never had so much fun in his life. You keep him on his toes in the best way possible, always arriving at his door with a surprise up your sleeve. You’ve got places to be, people to meet, things to see. He’s never met someone so dynamic, so popular in every aspect of their life, and it makes him wonder how he got lucky enough to catch your eye, pique your interest.

Suddenly the two of you are an item, a couple, and people expect you to show up together. They treat you like you’re meant to be together, and for a brief second, Jungkook looks at your interlocked hands and how his jacket rests upon your shoulders, and he thinks that too.

“Good choice, right?” Namjoon asks him one day, nudging Jungkook in the side as he slides up next to him. Jungkook’s attention is hardly directed towards him, instead focused on you across the room, mingling with some other folks Jungkook doesn’t talk to much.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jungkook shrugs, but a fond smile overtakes his face when you turn to him, waving your hand with this obscenely adorable grin on your face.

“I know what I’m talking about,” Namjoon says, and he may as well be patting himself on the back at this point. “I had a feeling that you’d like Y/N.”

“You know me so well, hyung,” Jungkook jokes.

“I do,” Namjoon nods, but it’s a lie.

Things fall apart, and what goes up must always come back down. Gravity has its ways, and they are much stronger than the power of love. Gravity, like you, is inescapable.

It starts when you move in. Everyone was telling him that it was the next step in your relationship, the next move to make to bring you closer together instead of steering you apart, but no one told him that there was something different about seeing someone all hours of the day and living with them. It’s called the honeymoon for a reason, because even the moon will fade eventually.

Jungkook should have never trusted Namjoon.

There is something so foreign about seeing your clothes in his closet, seeing your jeans mixed amongst his own on the floor of his, he means, your bedroom. It’s new and it’s different, just like you are in his life, but Jungkook should have known. He’s never liked change.

There’s something disrupting, how you don’t wash the dishes thoroughly enough like he does, how you mix up where the plates and the bowls go, not caring about where you leave your coffee mug overnight. How you always manage to lose the remote somewhere in his couch cushions, and how it always takes fifteen minutes of whining to get it back. Your lifestyle isn’t something he’s used to. It’s not something he wants to get used to.

But he’s in love, people tell him. He’s in love, he tells himself when he’s hovering on top of you in the dark of the night, pressing his body close to yours, skin to skin and mouth to mouth, a sensation that should be exciting each time it happens, rather than obligatory. He’s in love, and love should overcome all boundaries. It’s supposed to overcome all boundaries. There is nothing stronger than the love that Jungkook swears is still in his heart. Because at the end of the day, when you are curled up in bed together and Jungkook can finally let his mind rest, he’s at peace and he’s in love.

He’s in love, he swears to himself like it’s a fucking mantra. This is what love is, he thinks, tired nights where there’s no electrifying spark, simple hello’s when you both come back to the apartment after a taxing weekday, blatant disregard when both of you are too worn out to say anything. This is what love is, right?

It’s not.

Jungkook realizes this when he realizes that it shouldn’t be a task to remind himself to tell you that he loves you. He realizes this when he gets more and more agitated every time you leave a dish lying around his apartment even though he’s told you countless times to just put it in the sink. He realizes this when there’s no more heart in the sex that you have, when the love is taken out of making love. He realizes this with every step you take in his apartment, because it’s his. It doesn’t feel like yours anymore.

It should be sadder than it is, saying goodbye for a final time, but it’s not. It’s watching you pack your boxes and your bags and stack them at his front door, promising that you’ve already got another place to stay, one that’s not here, and it’s wistful but nothing else. It’s a couple of tears that he sheds because he’s going to miss that feeling of love, that spark of attraction that he’s craved for so long. He doesn’t regret you, not a single bit, but you’re not the one. He just has to keep looking.

“I’ll see you around?” You ask, hopeful but obligatory, because how do you really break up with someone? What are you supposed to say, do?

Jungkook nods, a hand on the door as he slowly begins to shut it. “I’ll see you around.”

Jungkook loved the way you would always expect the unexpected, have your arms wide open for any task thrown at you. He loved the way you would sometimes steal his shampoo when yours ran out, and how you’d walk out of the bathroom smelling like him. He loved the way you’d belt out his favorite songs, memorizing all the lyrics and then the rhythm, too.

Jungkook loved you.

⇒ talk to me or hit me up with some feedback here!

#sfwbangtan #bangtan bookclub #bangtanwriters-net #bts writing squad #jungkook angst #bts angst #jungkook scenarios #bts scenario #bts scenarios #jungkook imagine #bts imagine #bts au #jungkook au #never written a breakup au like this #my angst is either soft like this fic or death there is no in between

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz lb: 2 - 6th january

i thought i’d be all caught up and back on schedule by now, but somehow i find myself behind by more than a week’s worth of episodes again. oh well.

maybe this week’s my week. in the mean time, here’s the second installation of liveblogs.

2nd january

preview: whut the whut???? is shivaay drunk again? is he dreaming this? is anika dreaming this? am *I* dreaming this???? 😯😯😯

lmao these three sisters are rudra's nightmare come alive; the bhaabi he never wanted, HIS FATHER'S MISTRESS, and the cult leader who kidnapped him. 😂😂😂

this bloody house and family is so fucking big, they should implement whatever technology uber implements in its cars, to keep track of what family member is where. 😒😒😒

rudra's denim shirt/trackpants outfit is pushing the limit on "athleisure" methinks. 😕😕😕

GOD DADI YOU AND YOUR SCREECHING. JUST... SHUSH.

they should really get someone else to dub for the dadi actress, coz her voice. lord above. 😬😬😬

oh no shivaay thinks anika's playing. 😟😟😟

dadi looks downright horrified at the thought. dadi, it's ok. it's how billu and biwi do foreplay. stay out of their sex life.  🙄🙄🙄

lololololol the fridge is about to start ringing.  😂😂😂

give it up tia. you're not gonna win.  🙄🙄🙄

FIGURE IT OUT FASTER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.  😑😑😑

lmaooooo "bhaabi fridge main kaisi pohunchi???"  😂😂😂

there's a sentence no one ever plans to say in their life. ever. 😂😂😂

PLEASE NOTICE THE FACE OF THE FRIDGE MOVING DUDE. ZERO REACTION. ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR HIM. he must move a lot of rich ppl's fridges with bahus in them. 😐😐😐

i was like "ok she's cold but not THAT cold that you need a bonfire in MUMBAI" before i realised tht this was a prinku scene.  😶😶😶

ok, acp is like... RIGHT UP in their damn group now, and no one's like "who's this weird, fully grown man who's appeared out of nowhere and staring intently at one of our friends? 🤔🤔🤔"

what the hell does he even want??? 😒😒😒

yes priyanka, leave the group and isolate yourself, while you're being stalked. that's the smart thing to do right now. for fucks sake, this chick has the survival instincts of a fucking dodo. 😒😒😒

oh great. three MORE rapey boys. just what the show needed. MORE RAPEY BOYS.  😤😤😤

(lemme save you all the trouble of wondering how this is gonna go - acp is gonna save her, she's gonna be indebted, he's gonna be all conflicted coz omg why did i save her i hate her and they'll angstily marry each other and be the most boring-ass couple ever. 🙄🙄🙄)

i need to know what makeup primer/fixing spray anika uses that's waterproof, crying proof, torture (by shivaay + daksh) proof, freeze proof... like... what sorcery is this????? 😯😯😯

ok rudra, if you think of her as your wife, why don't you just ACCEPT it, and TELL HER? why is this plot still where it was 2 months ago????? 😑😑😑

i want sAumya's jammies. they look comfy af. 😊😊😊

oh look. husband was here all along! 😚😚😚

aaaaand he's yelling. ouff. give a girl a second to wake up properly! 😒😒😒

ok relax my man, you're in mumbai, not the north pole, that a hand outside the blanket will make her get the chills. 🙄🙄🙄

aw, he's "snug as a bug in a rug"d her! 😚😚😚

"akduuuu!" 😂😂😂

honestly boys, you can find better porn on the net, you don't have to get your jollies from watching priyanka change into a nightgown ffs.  🙄🙄🙄

romi's outfit is cute af! i want! 😊😊😊

i don't like this new YELLYYYYY svetlana. 😑😑😑

wow ok yeah that plan sounds CLEAR AF, thanks svetlana, for being so precise and detailed. 🙄🙄🙄

A+ eyeliner though. if only you lent that laser focus on explaining the plan.  👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh this... credo, and hand gesture thing is... here to stay? not a one time thing from that reveal scene? 😬😬😬

it's reminding me of a hateful version of the thing the planeteers do to summon captain planet. 😂😂😂

BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAINNNNNN NAFRAT!!!! 😋😋😋

acp is shocked to learn that someone else is moving in on his "make priyanka feel violated with rapey harkatein" niche. THAT'S HIS CURB, DAMMIT, AND HE'LL BE DAMNED IF ANYONE TAKES IT FROM HIM!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

just once in my life, i want someone to be as excited about me as rudra is about anika. 😪😪😪

"aap fridge mein kyun chupi thi? aap waisi hi itni cool ho!" 😂😂😂

dadi: don't do anything that can get you killed, lololol!

seriously, dadi??? is that how you warn someone??? is the actress playing her wrong, or is she being written weird? either way, i can't fucking stand this character since shivaay and anika got married. 😒😒😒

@ ruMya: can you two just bang and get over it? 🙄🙄🙄

"hum risk sirf tabhi lete hai jab humein yakeen hai humaara prince charming humein bachaane aayega."

the day i risk anything in hope of a MAN coming and saving me is the day i die. of disappointment. 😑😑😑

headline of tomorrow's oberoi times: 30+ year old man gets his kicks from eavesdropping on youth and their discourse on romance; forces wife to participate in chichori harkat as a means to feel her up under the stairs.

why's he hugging her to his chesttttt? like cute af and all, but... lol, why? 😂😂😂

aw rudraaaaaa. 💗💗💗

aaaaaaand, there. you had to ruin it. asshole.  😒😒😒

waah, seediyon ke upar bhi romance, neeche bhi romance. 😏😏😏

where's my boy ommmmmmmmm? why isn't HE feeling up a PYT somewhere in the vicinity of this staircase???????? god knows if anyone deserves it the most, it's him! 😐😐😐

play a romantic song from this decade maybe???? 🤔🤔🤔

ok shivaay, she's your wife. you can seduce her in your room, ya'know. 😶😶😶

ok fine, i won't be such a unromantic grouch. carry on. continue fondling your wife under the staircase, like a horny high school kid. 😌😌😌

what do you mean "roka kisne hai?" YOU WERE ON HER LIKE WHITE ON RICE BRUH. pfffffffft. 🙄🙄🙄

the bad dubbing is ruining this scene for meeeeeeee. i'll have to watch it again on mute to get my kicks. 😫😫😫

wow. so this is what it's like when shivaay is romantic. nice. why couldn't you have just persuaded her to marry you her like this?????? 😐😐😐

shivaay, back in his room, googling "help i think i love my wife" and "how to make my wife love me". 😂😂😂

tia's hereeee, looking extremely becoming.😚😚😚

LMAO that HUGE step back he took when she mentioned the baby. 😂😂😂

oh i think tia's in that phase of her pregnancy when women get super horny. 😶😶😶

lol, i've never heard of the word "rest" as a euphemism for an orgasm, but this show has been so ~~~pathbreaking in so many ways so sure, why not? 😕😕😕

*while being seduced* "... i need to finish my emails!" 😂😂😂

lmao what an ISHQBAAZ. truly amazing. dadi, come take a look! 😂😂😂

anika strolling into that room like, BITCH STEP THE FUCK BACK, THIS WORKAHOLIC ROBOT IS MINE!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

3rd january

preview: I KNEW THE NEW HUNKY SERVANT WOULD BE SHADY! I KNEWWWWWWWWW IT! 😬😬😬

tiaaaaa was notttttt expecting anika to be so ferocious after being frozen like an bag of peas. 😂😂😂

shivaay's deep resigned sigh + "tia, you brought this on yourself" face lololol 😂😂😂

"nakhre noor jahan ke" hee hee 😂😂😂

"kasam shivaay BABY ki" LMAO 😂😂😂

shivaay's enjoying this smackdown too much lol, he's intervening soooooo reluctantly.  😋😋😋

"ACHAAR KE DAAG KI TARAH DHEET" omfg appropriating this for daily use irl 😂😂😂

might as well hang a sign around shivaay's neck saying "property of anika" 🙃🙃🙃

for that matter, tia's too, coz anika just OWNED HER ASS 😎😎😎

damnnnnnnnnnnnn anika, is this what being cold does to you??? i just get very angry and miserable and eat a lot of carbs. 😐😐😐

lololol the instant disappearance of her giggles. 😋😋😋

patidev is taking full faida of display of haq. 😚😚😚

MAIN ROZ BRUSH KARTI HOON HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂😂

shivaay's not interested in your dental routine right now anika, he has lurrrrrrrve on his mind! 😚😚😚

(that look he gives her teeth tho, lol) 😂😂😂

it's weird that he's being SO romantic all outta nowhere. with a woman he served divorce papers to THIS MORNING.

(yes, this is the same day. god. i'm exhausted just thinking how long their damn days are. 😫😫😫)

bruh, parde toh bandh kiye hote. the whole house is getting an eyeful of your seduction game. 🙈🙈🙈

which is suddenly A+ btw. looks like googling "how to make my wife love me" gave him some fucking amazing results. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

such cute how they can't control their silly smiles and giggles at each other. adorable idiots. 💗💗💗

lol she literally jumped out the window to get away. 😂😂😂😂😂

relatable af. i woulda done the same. 😶😶😶

yes shivaay, what's happening to you? your constant smiling and being all romantic and shit is freaking meeeeeeee out. 😬😬😬

ouff, from that cuteness to this rapey nonsense. 😒😒😒

LOL ACP'S PUNCH. 😂😂😂

acp toh shivaay ka bhai nikla in phone tod department. 😐😐😐

where the fuck is everyone, did they just leave prinku alone? 😒😒😒

why doesn't the third dude deserve a name? 🤔🤔🤔

TUJHE CHAHTE HAI JAANEMAAANNN. abhishek and sumit have been watching too many b-grade 80's bolly movies. next they'll reply "bhagwan ke liye tujhe chod denge toh hum kya karengee?" 🙄🙄🙄

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. honestly, i am so fucking done with this acp and prinku track. i could honestly not give less of a fuck about them. 😑😑😑

yes acp, keep watching as they tear her dori and violate her. best. 😒😒😒

anika, pay attn to hunky servant. he just gave you a clueeeeee. 😐😐😐

anika, you need to get a job. 😗😗😗

pft. acp ki herobaazi. mujhe nahi dekhni. fwd. 😒😒😒

can shivaay enroll prinku in some damn self defense classes ffs???? while he's at it, some personality development classes as well. 🙄🙄🙄

lmaoooooooooo TUM MERE HO. 😂😂😂

what the hell is with this show and songssss from the fucking 90s. can they not afford copyrights to anything newer??

such dramatic dupatta odh-ing was unnecessary. hand it over like a normal dude, bro. 🙄🙄🙄

prinku's feeling the angsty lau feelings right on schedule. 😒😒😒

since when is there this giantasss plate glass window in shivaay's room? 🤔🤔🤔

snort. hunky servant's evil smile. lololol. 😂😂😂

lol what the hell is he doing with the pointer toy i use to irritate my cat? 🤔🤔🤔

what in the world is shivaay wearing? 😟😟😟

lmaooooooooo. the cat toy is being used to melt whatever's holding the glass. 😂😂😂

yeah honestly anika, why do you ask? 😐😐😐

tia speaks the truth. get a job, anika. a hobby maybe. 🙄🙄🙄

like, i love anika and all, but god, i love tia so much more. she's a cold hard bitch who gets hers. 💗💗💗💗💗

or tries very hard, at least.

by this time, you could have run back home to save him by now. 🙄🙄🙄

looking at the angle the glass was falling, he was out of the danger zone. but yeah, the flying shards... oh well. 😐😐😐

TELL ME WE GET SOME AWESOME HURT/COMFORT SHIT OUTTA THIS, WITH ANIKA NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH. *smoochy noises* 😚😚😚

4th january

preview: idc what these ppl are yelling about all i care about is that OM IS BACK OM IS BACK OH HAPPY DAY OM IS BACK I FEEL LIKE I HAVE REASON TO LIVE AGAIN MY LONG HAIRED ARTIST BOY IS BACK!!!!! 😇😇😇

ouff, move slower shivaay. 😒😒😒

UM HOW THE FUCK DID THE GLASS JUST SHATTER SPONTANEOUSLY??? WHAT NONSENSE. 😒😒😒

GIRL, HONESTLY IN THIS TIME YOU COULD HAVE RUN THERE. 🙄🙄🙄

pft. he's fiiiiiine. just has some glass in his hair. nothing that tadi waala hair gesture of his won't fix. 😎😎😎

what's om screaming about? boy stand still and smile so i can drink you innnnnnn. 😐😐😐

what logic. there's just one paraaya, compared to allllll these apne. 🙄🙄🙄

tej, again, he's a self made billionaire. he doesn't need your money. 😑😑😑

ouff. men and their egos. 🙄🙄🙄

shivaay's been shook out of his near death experience stupor thanks to all the yelling. ouff, this fucking family. can't you let a man ponder his mortality in peace????? 😒😒😒

rudra, maybe have less selfish reasons... like, something more compelling than a fucking SANDWICH????? 😒😒😒

anika's brain be like OH BETE KIIIIIIIIII 😂😂😂

this should be a rasm for the new bahu too, witnessing the first bullshit fight that occurs in this family on a near-daily basis. 🙄🙄🙄

for once, shivaay's angry grabbing is justified and not icky. 😶😶😶

god stop being such an angsty emo bunny, om. such a drama queen you are. 🙄🙄🙄

ouff this damn new servant. 😑😑😑

yeah we got that, om. give us the REAL REASON. 😒😒😒

ooooh i think tej's trying to marry om off to some richhhhh heiress??? 🤔🤔🤔

CALLED IT!!!!!!

why's pinky making that self righteous face? it's what she was doing to shivaay too. 😶😶😶

arre bas itni si problem? nothing a little google-fu and facebook and instagram stalking can't solve! such baat ka batangad. 🙄🙄🙄

i mean, i gotta agree with tej here, arranged marriage really isn't a revolutionary concept. why's om getting so hyper like a damn white kid who's never heard of the concept? 😐😐😐

um, that's so not the reason to have kids????? 😒😒😒

he wants lurrrrrrrrrrve, tej. he wants LURVE. 😗😗😗

god this fucking murdery servant dude is getting even more footage than OM and it's pissing me offfffff. 😒😒😒

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i mean if this argument came from anyone other than shivaay. 😂😂😂

to play devil's advocate though, he was in a relationship with tia and THINKS he knows her though. 😕😕😕

lol tej has the same idea as me. 😙😙😙

LMAO OM'S BRAIN LITERALLY SHORTCIRCUITING BEHIND TEJ, I AM LOVING IT LEMME REWIND 😂😂😂

lololololol even better the second time. 😂😂😂

bro, someone explain the structure of the oberoi businesses to me. please. i don't get it. what does shivaay do, what does tej do, how does any of this shit even work????? 😕😕😕

they're really modelled on the ambanis, i guess. 😗😗😗

tej, maybe don't disclose your petty so openly? 😬😬😬

ouff, dadi, why do you even bother? just go back to tirupati or whatever. take om with you. live in peace. 🙄🙄🙄

yeah shakti. just shut up. let a mom defend her son. 😑😑😑

what's wrong with this fucking servant, he's just going around the house tampering with everything shivaay touches. 😦😦😦

ouffffffff, jungle waala chutiyapa abhi tak khatam nahi hua. 😒😒😒

lol that weird scream. 😂😂😂

god, that's one determined rapist, going to attack prinku IN THE MIDDLE of getting his ass kicked. finish him offffff, acp. 😑😑😑

um acp??? large knife being aimed at ya girl... 😕😕😕

of course... of course acp is the one who gets slashed. 🙄🙄🙄

i wanted a shivika hurt/comfort scene. ouff, looks like i'll have to settle for this off brand nonsense instead. 😒😒😒

no? prinku's just letting him walk away? cool. 😗😗😗

ouff tej, you're like a dog with a bone, om don't currrr about your damn business. 😑😑😑

god how many times will we have to watch the same fucking argument between om and tej. i'm so bored. 🙄🙄🙄

ok tej, just stfu. THEY WERE JUST STARTING TO GET ALONG AND BE ALL CUTE AND FLIRTY AND SHIT. WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN ITTTTT????? 😑😑😑

ouff pinkyyyyyyy, shushhhhhhh.

this episode is so fucking boringgggggggggggg. ouff. 😑😑😑

oh no is svetlana back in tej's life now?????? OH NO. 😬😬😬

thank god at least one sister in the kapoor fam has a strong seduction game. watch and learn from di, tia + romi. 😎😎😎

who is svetlanaaaaa gunning for om to marry????? 😐😐😐

OHNOEOHNOEOHNOE 😯😯😯

i have this teeny tiny feeling that maybe om may end up marrying the chaddha girl, through some tej + svetlana dhokebaazi, and he's gonna hate her, but she's gonna turn out to be super nice and shit and worm her way into om's heart. #tellywoodtrashKiBhavishwyawaani 😇😇😇

dadi about to keel over from a heart attack. 😐😐😐

i feel zero sympathy tbh, coz dadi kinda deserves a tiny heart attack from the way she handled the shivaay/anika thing. 😒😒😒

the oberoi kid deserving bachpan-waala slapping is behind you, tej. he's less slap-worthy these days but give it a week or two, he's going to do something to deserve it. 😕😕😕

anika be like lord almighty i miss my bua. she was easier to handle than these ppl. 😮😮😮

calling it already, jhanvi is #bestMom2k17 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

good riddance. bye tejjjj.👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

precap: shit, i thought my "bye tej" straight off dispatched him into the afterlife. 😬😬😬 nope. just some rando chick. om's girl? 🤔🤔🤔

oooh, shivaay making anika some mighty big promises. 😚😚😚

5th january

lol @ tej's hissy fit. 😆😆😆

this servant seems to have a damn phd in killing ppl. 😐😐😐

LMAO, pinky is meeeeeee. 5ever interested in the drama, but super side eye-y of it. lolololol. 😂😂😂

anika, honestly, i mean, i get your urgency, but is this the time? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

gaaadi hai, underwear nahi, that two people can't use one anothers'. just give him the damn keys, driver. 🙄🙄🙄

oh the plan was to kill tej all along? i have no issues with that. carry on, kapoor sisters. 🙃🙃🙃

GOOD LORD. RAPEY DUDES ARE ALSO KAPOOR SHILLS. WHAT NONSENSE. OUFF. 😒😒😒

also how the f did they send the mms to romi when acp smashed the phone last night???? 😑😑😑

anika, girl. you soundin' cray. 😶😶😶

lol the scenery chewing that this servant actor is doing. amaze. 😆😆😆

i want jhanvi's earrings. 😊😊😊

svetlana's super nonchalant "what?" at tej's impending death, i love it.

i've changed my mind, i think i love svetlana. i'm modeling my 2017 personality after her. 😍😍😍

tia, stop being such a weak bitch.  😐😐😐

OH NO JUST WHEN I GOT ON #TEAMSVETLANA, she's about to go do some suicidal stunt?!?!!! GODDAMNIT, WHY???? 😩😩😩

tej should have read @phati-sari‘s post on how to deal with failed brakes. 😊😊😊

yeah no one who takes an airbag to the face emerges looking completely fine like that. that shit deploys at like 300 kmph. 😒😒😒

oh shit u ok svetlana???? 😯😯😯

guessing this is svetlana's plan to make her way into the oberoi mansion. please don't let this end up with her marrying om tho. that's just super yucky. 😬😬😬

anika, you need to learn to communicate better. no one would believe what you're saying, the way you're saying it. 🙄🙄🙄

lol “dimaag ki dahi” what an un-shivaay like phrase. 😂😂😂

@ruMya: could you two kids just kiss alreadyyyy? 😐😐😐

ugh acp ka ott filmy dialogue. hope those big words are antiseptic and save you from catching some kinda nasty-ass infection. 🙄🙄🙄

“bohut khoon” my foot. 🙄🙄🙄

"main bura hoon, par gira hua nahi."  

LMAO WHAT NONSENSE, HOW IS YOU FORCING HER TO MARRY HER IN ORDER TO TORTURE HER ANY BETTER THAN MAKING THE MMS? IF ANYTHING, IT'S WORSE. 😒😒😒

can you two get off my screen already????? 😑😑😑

thank you.

CAN YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP FIGHTING ABOUT THIS OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THIS???????????? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

oh boy, om's gonna fuckin' loseeeeee it. 😬😬😬

lol his crossed arms + "both of you shoulda died" expression. 😋😋😋

god tia, TOUGHEN UP. nafratbaaz my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

svetlana doesn't even look thaaat injured tho? like she's just got a few scrapes... 🤔🤔🤔

BREATHE, SVETLANA, I JUST STARTED LIKING YOU!!!! 😩😩😩

why is no one (anika even) noticing tia losing her shit while seeing svetlana like this? 😐😐😐

LMAO TRUST THE OBEROIS TO KEEP THEIR FIRST AID KIT IN AN ORNATE GOLDEN FILGREE EMBOSSED WOODEN BOX. 😂😂😂

loving jhanvi, pinky and om's #idgaf expressions. 🙃🙃🙃

fwding to when svetlana finally wakes the f up, coz we all know she's gonna. 🙄🙄🙄

om asking all the real questions. 🙃🙃🙃

ok that answer doesn't make sense, tej. 🙄🙄🙄

nothing gets me more heart eyed than when om calls ppl out on their shit. 😍😍😍

what “jaan par khel kar”???? she just happened to be in the way with her car, there were zero allusions that she did it intentionally. 🙄🙄🙄

finally, tej lending some credence to anika's story. 😶😶😶

pft, i only watched today's episode for the shivika scene i was promised in yesterday's precap, and instead i had to watch a whole episode of them bickering and have to wait until the next ep. 😒😒😒

6th january

preview: yay, team's all here and on a mission!!!!!! 😊😊😊

lmao the knife still in the tyre. looks like murder servant isn't that smart after all. 😆😆😆

lmaoooooo no pointtttt calling security, come on shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

sup khanna? new year, new facial hair! 😏😏😏

lol you know khanna is here only to make fanmixes on his otp. i bet he has a thriving youtube channel filled with footage of you two. 😆😆😆

why's he calling tej when he's just indoors???? 🤔🤔🤔

says the person who whatsapps her mom from the next room about how the cat is chewing on my leg. 😶😶😶

um shivaay, please to notice that your wife is currently having a breakdown? 😶😶😶

this moment is coming across as super fake on anika's part. the whole stumbling around and talking to self thing. 🙄🙄🙄

“aap BHI mujhe chod ke chale gaye toh?” awww. baby. *pats her hair*

god shivaay, why is YELLING your go-to for everything? you didn't even try to reason with her normally, before going to yelling. 😒😒😒

bad writing/shitty editing or shitty acting on nakuul's part? 🤔🤔🤔

"main kahin nahi jaunga. na main khud jaunga, na tumhe jaane dunga."

aw. but also, kinda creepy and dakshy-sounding. depends on what mood you're in while watching. 😕😕😕

HUG!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗

oh come on, you could have totally hugggggggged. why's shivaay having sudden commitment-phobia??? 🙄🙄🙄

lol jhanvi, why so obtuse? how can someone so smart, be so fucking stupid? 😑😑😑

LMAO PINKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I FUCKING LOVE YOU 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

never let it be said that true love doesn't exist in this show. 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽 offering to murder your sister-friend's husband's mistress is the GREATEST ACT OF LOVE that has ever been displayed in the 170-odd episodes. 💗💗💗 #female relationships mean everything to me

pinky's disappointment at jhanvi not taking her up on the offer = the best. 😂😂😂

"naagin ko full fats creams ka milks pilaao" amazing. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

also, subtle meta reference at svetlana actress's gig on a naagin show? 🤔🤔🤔

does anika even know the whole deal with svetlana? how????? 🤔🤔🤔

kanji aankhein be shocked at...?

oh. murder servant's game is up. bye boo. it was fun watching ya overact the fuck out of everything for 3 days. 😙😙😙

rudra's brief for this episode: make an exit within 30 seconds of scene and take sumo with him. 😑😑😑

170 episodes too late, but yes, please change the security staff. 🙄🙄🙄

oh god, time for anika to maarofy heavy sanskaari statement about patni protecting pati from blah blah blah. 😑😑😑

my expression, exact same as tia's. 😒😒😒

oh boy, anika's leading tia into a phone throwing type moment. the wily minx. 😬😬😬

ooh, is this the first time tia didn't call shivaay SHIVAAY BABY? 🤔🤔🤔

lol shivaay, not much of a date if she goes alone. 😐😐😐

oh boy shivaay, don't piss tia off. she's gonna ramp up the attempts to murder you. 😬😬😬

i thought she was gonna snap his neck right there and then. 😂😂😂

lololol anika's face. 😂😂😂

methinks the shivaay doth protests too much. 😚😚😚

snorttttttt, idk if she's enjoying this or not, but I CERTAINLY AM ENJOYING THIS. 😂😂😂

nakhra is not a very hard word. neither is noor jahan. are you just stupid, shivaay? 😕😕😕

this is a silly, quite badly written scene, but they're so cute when they're unable to stop grinning around each other. 😘😘😘

tho shivaay is unusally happy for someone who almost got murdered twice today. 😕😕😕

time for oberoi mystery inc. to convene and discuss. 😎😎😎

in the most open, obvious fucking location in the house. amazing. not a single bright crayon in this box. 😒😒😒

^^^^ ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE OBEROI BOX OF CRAYONS. 🙄🙄🙄

when will my om get a girl to walk with, who loves him the way he deserves to be loved? 😞😞😞

"laser". pfffffffft. IT WAS A CAT TOYYYYY COME ON. 🙄🙄🙄

where did all the furniture in this room go? 🤔🤔🤔

lmao AJAY VERMA. might as well be named john smith. 🙄🙄🙄

also, of course he didn't come from the agency you fucking idiots. 😑😑😑

DRAMATIC TADI WAALA POSTURING! 😎😎😎

i'd be downright disappointed with tia if she wasn't eavesdropping rn.

NOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE! LISTEN TO THEM PLANNING WHATEVERRRRRR! FFS TIA, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS WITHOUT SVETLANA HISSING AT YOU AT ALL TIMES???? 😩😩😩

may i remind you all that they were making out like svetlana was almost in a fucking coma. still, not a single person watching over her to find that tia is visiting her and calling her "di". 🙄🙄🙄

lol svetlana's giant hair eclipsing her head bandage tho. 😂😂😂

i'm bored with this scene so here are the oberois as mystery inc. team members:

anika = velma 🤓🤓🤓 (because orange. and she's ultimately gonna be the one who solves everything.)

shivaay = fred 👦🏽👦🏽👦🏽 (requisite cis male eye candy; mileage may vary depending by case.)

sAumya = daphne 👧🏽👧🏽👧🏽 (occasionally does shit, but mostly here to fulfill the cute quota.)

om = shaggy 🙇🏽🙇🏽🙇🏽 (coz i'm sure 87% of his chill personality comes from the fact that he's 420 blazin' it up in that studio of his.)

rudra = scooby 🐶🐶🐶 (self explanatory.)

I WANT TO BURN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE UGLY FUCKING VESTS THEY PUT ON THIS MAN!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

ooooooooh anika sleeps in the room now! progress! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

"anika? hi? good morning? 😶😶😶" lol. awwww. 😊😊😊

goddamnit shivaay, why the fuck are you always yelling??? honestly, that too so early in the morning. 😒😒😒

"you sleep like a log." "kaun log?"

snort. 😂😂😂

"dhang ke kapde"? you rather liked this outfit the last time she wore it. couldn't stop feeling her up every two minutes. 😏😏😏

"breakfast banane jaa raha hoon, TUMHARE LIYE."

NOW i'd say my man’s on track to redemption. 😚😚😚

what can i say, i'm a hungry bitch. feed me and i'll be yours forever. i'm very much like a raccoon that way. 😇😇😇

OOOOOOOOH A GIFT. 💖💖💖💖

wait, should i be worried? 😟😟😟

coz y'know, the last time he handed her a gift wrapped box, it had divorce papers. 😕😕😕

OOOH AN IPHONE. ANIKA FINALLY JOINS THE IPHONE FAM.

inaugarate it by dirty facetiming each other. 😏😏😏

sahil is a 7 year old. AT BOARDING SCHOOL. he doesn't need a fucking phone. 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooooh. "pyaar se." girl, watch what you're asking for. you couldn't really handle his pyaar a day back. you jumped out the window coz it was too much. 😋😋😋

goddamnit, this smooth motherf... where's he suddenly getting these moves from???? 😯😯😯

ok it's an iphone. not that there's a lot of variety to CHOOSE from. calm down, shivaay. 😑😑😑

his smiley romantic mood makes me both awwwww, and also be a little freaked out. 😬😬😬

mostly freaked out. i'm really not used to it. i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 😕😕😕

"toh yeh pyaar se tha, ya dobara koshish karoon?"

holy shit. i... uh... 🤐🤐🤐😯😯😯

*loses my damn mind for a second*

ok i’m back... BUT WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE SHIVAAY WE KNOW AND LOATHE????? 😮😮😮

GODDAMN HIS SEDUCTION GAME... JUST... NO WORDS. 😶😶😶

i nearly jumped out my damn skin just like anika when he came back.  

"phir se blush kar rahi ho."

GET OUTTA HERE, ANIKA AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THESE FEELZ. JUST GO MAKE THE FOOD. GO. SHOO. 😩😩😩

"yeh blush kya cheez hai???? main kar bhi rahi hoon aur mujhe pata hi nahi hai!" haha awwww 😂😂😂

sAumya looks cuddly af man. i wanttttt a hug from herrrrrr! 🤗🤗🤗

why is she not dancing in her own room tho? 🤔🤔🤔

the fuck is this???? 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhh, it’s an ad for some shit. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

also, why is it suddenly night if shivaay just woke anika up? 🤔🤔🤔

bloody hell, what a waste of screen time, this is an extra minute i could have spent staring at om's face. #respectOmkara2k17 😩😩😩😩

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

[askmercuryandleo]

Dark night..

 It was late at night, Mercury was keeping an eye out for the "creatures" that looked so much, like his father, and former members of what was nightmares, but more vicious, and terrifying, He got up to check the window as something crawled up, it looked like A large bat, Like Horror as he smacked the damn thing, and backed away to the bed.  Mercury went to the closet, and opened it up only to find a white mask on the floor, the same mask his father wore when Sane was strangled, Phantom lost his arm, when Puppeteer was axed in her head and fever was burnt in the building.... He shut the closet door, to hear a low growl on the bed, one of the larger shadows, one that looked at Void's "other" form, was looking at Leo, rather in a hungry manner.  Mercury rushed over and whacked the shadow with the flash light, as it screeched and slithered back under the bed, it's dark, purple eyes stared from under the bed, He took a peek at the room as a firey like shadow was crawling down and tackled Mercury, all it took was to shine the light into it's eyes and it shrieked and crawled away Somebody walked over. They Had a lantern with them and all of a sudden the room seemed brighter  Mercury growled, in frustration "BACK THE HELL OFF!" Fury kept in his mind, frustration, anxiety and the need to harm or break something was  climbing up his back, someone whispering to do it, do "Kill" the newcomer, so he pulled the knife out of his pocket and hissed, rather deeply and kept his defense up  "You've got a lot more to worry about than Me. Mercury. Like the fact that Leo is having a nightmare, or those Shadows." The person spoke. But it sounded familiar in a way.  He kept trying to calm himself down, but the whispers wouldn't go away, the shadow with the mask kept their claws on his shoulders, as he growled more "Stay the fuck away...Y-you know NOTHING about those fucking monsters of living hell..."  "Me? Knowing nothing? I mean sure I don't know everything but I did learn from my Mom. She did teach me about some things and these were one of them. A prince gotta know About the dangers Ya know?"  "...Odd....Did you really....live through it all...and you're not damaged...?" Mercury lowered the weapon, the softness came into his eyes, looking over at Leo and made a small shush sound while petting his back gently  "Yeah. I did. I haven't seen a living person in days.. I've seen.. A couple of our old friends dead tho.. Sadly.." Mercury sighed, He frowned "I....Saw valeria a few days ago... She was wearing one of the masks.. It was cracked so I had to take it off...She was in pain...Bleeding out and such, it was horrible....I'm sorry Odd....I managed to save her but she got taken away..."  "Its... Fine... I knee that it would happened to.. Some people... I Saw Energy. She.. Died... Her son got taken away.. I haven't seen miracle but if I do I've gotta tell her. Have you seen her..?"    "Yes! I have! She's with the small gang, Venus...She grew....so tall.... S-shit, we changed so much." He didn't noticed he was starting to tear up, as tears were coming down from his face  "Oh! Did anybody say anything about Cherry?" Odd seemed to remember something   "Cherry was there.....I don't recall anyone saying anything about her..." Mercury looked down "I managed to Find Comedy though, she's in good shape while living with Hyper, and his other kids..." He forced a small smile at Odd   "Don't force yourself to smile. There isn't anything to smile about. Well. There is Leo but Cherry managed to get to another universe with the help of Blood. And frankly enough it doesn't look like she's coming back anytime soon. I.. Saw Childish... She was blind and bleeding out but she was being healed by......" "Well... The person doesn't matter. And no she wasn't wearing a mask at any point."  Mercury sighed "Would you like to stay for the night though Odd.. or a few?" He looked at Odd, heavy bags were under the blonde's eyes as he looked very tired and hopeless "A few nights if you don't mind. Also Mercury. Get some rest. I'll look out for the shadows." Leo had calmed down and was now peacefully sleeping.  Mercury sighed in relief "Look out the window for the bat, the closet has the with the mask, be sure to keep looking under the bed, the monster is there, and the ceiling light is where the fiery one is..." He yawned and flopped on the bed, hugging Leo and fell asleep  Odd sat down and proceeded to keep watch for the shadows. Odd is now open for asks