#working late is awful to me

[omppupiiras]

SOMEBODY SAVE HIM 🌽

#käärijä #shittttt why am i still awake #morning me is not gonna be happy i stayed up late just to draw some CORN AND PEAS KÄÄRIJÄ WHAT THE FUCK OMPPU #a wise adult would not do these things #looking forward to waking up at 5 am tomorrow aw yea #i was already delirious at work today laughing my ass off with my coworker whilst making shadow puppets on a mixer #i am a very good and dutiful employee yes yes #peas and corn käärijä

[heldenherzchen]

thursday, august 10 day 4: last minute confession (@benthan-week-forever)

Benji sat in front of his laptop, tears streaming down his face.

He had just heard Ethan confess his love for him over the coms - and then the line went dead. Dead. Like Ethan, he thought.

The blonde was beside himself with grief.

He tried and tried and tried to get a hold of the other one, but there was no response. Benji was consumed with worry and fear, not knowing what had happened to the man he loved.

As he sat there, lost in his thoughts, memories of Ethan flooded his mind. He remembered the way the brunette looked at him, the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand. He realized how much he loved Ethan, and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

Benji sat there for what felt like hours, waiting for any news about his partner..

Finally, the coms line crackled to life, and Ethan's voice came through.

"Benji, are you there?" he said, his voice rough.

Benji was overjoyed to hear his voice, bursting into tears once again.

"Ethan, I thought you were dead," he said, his voice choked with emotion.

"I'm okay, Benji," Ethan replied, "I made it out alive, thanks to you."

#mission impossible #benji dunn #ethan hunt #benthan #benthanweek2023 #my art #i know i am late and i am sorry #😫 #but i wanted to re-do this #lmao #and life happened and work kept me busy and ahh #yeah #but i just finished it #i hope you can read my god-awful handwriting #i swear it's not really that bad in person but yeah #also: of course ethan makes it out alive ok #he would never leave benji 😭 #i also re-used the stickers on his laptop because i will not draw them again lmao #and i don't know how to draw backgrounds so.. bear with me #thank u 💖

[static-radio-ao3]

regulus getting scolded the morning after hooking up with his ex? embarrassing. regulus getting scolded the morning after hooking up with his ex by barty? infinitely worse.

#wanted to write a part two to the messy exes microfic but i am so tired #bc i've been going to sleep so late and it's genuinely been making me feel awful #so just tossing this out here for now but i might do it later this week.... maybe.... as a reward for finishing uni work #n e ways.... sleeping now...... bye bye #mil mumbles

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

POV: You want to join an art challenge for August regarding TMNT but the person hosting it is someone who wrote a Mikey gets adopted by the Rise turtles and you also fear that you doing it would come off as you supporting the creator meaning you support their fanfic that doesn't give any respect to 2012 and makes Mikey look like a damn crybaby and also for some reason calls him Casper and not to mention this person supports Unfamiliar Familiar

#Nah because I feel upset when I don't join an art challenge of sorts #Because I'm either lazy #Don't get in on time #I immediately give up #And other reasons #Or I feel like my drawing will suck because I can't do it #I've tried to do art month challenge thingy's like 2 times #One time in October in 2020 but didn't because I lost motivation and I was really late #And May of this year but immediately gave up afterwords because it felt like it be too much work #And now my new reason I probably won't do this art challenge #Is because the creator supports not only those god awful mikey gets adopted by rise fanfics #But also supports unfamiliar familiar #I feel like this person is rather less negative towards 2012 but I'm probably just being an optimistic idiot #Idk if I do this art challenge it will come off as me supporting things that I don't

[todayisafridaynight]

hear me out on this one

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #jo sawashiro #snap sketches #cause i asked myself 'what if we have him more layers' i dont want to see AN OUNCE of skin from this dude #another similarity between mine and sawashiro is ive drawn tthem both in turtlenecks. lol. #funny as hell tho ever since i watched we make antiques i actually wanted to draw arakawa in a turtleneck #he always reminds me of a turtle anyway for some reason... #i mean this isnt totally off that mentality either. ttm did look cute in a turtleneck in like. Two Things #Awful tho all i thought bout when drawin the neck part was that Pencil Neck bit from p&f LMAO #omg wait rant time cause i drew this while waiting to hang with my bitchass friend #done with comm work for the morning and she taking nine years so. lets doodle #but then this bitchass friend forgot we were hanging out today even tho SKE asked to hang out today. as she did yesterday. #like UGH im not saying sawashiro is valid for bullying ichi for being late all the time but i get it. #this is legitimately the second day in a row where she forgot we were meeting and its making me explode #anyway she just texted me nw so i guess shes gonna come over soon #which means i get to be mad at her playin y7 LMAO ITS ALL FUN anyway bye

[korperlos]

.

#all i want in life is to find my peace and share it with someone good and write my stupid little books and watch my stupid little movies #see a few things #and so on #you get the deal #i'm not asking for much #basically all i want is time #as much of it as possible #and i want to be able to enjoy it #but the way life is now? #thats the opposite of that #the little time i have is awful #because it's time like this #sick at home in bed #everything else is spent on work or commuting or worrying about work or money or whatever shit related to all this #:/ #don't mind me it's late and i'm sick and i'm tired and i should be sleeping but my mind's plagued by thoughts and worries and it's unbearabl

[kozidraws]

.

#gonna ramble about irl here so people don't have to read it unless they want to #so because I got covid and couldn’t leave my bed I've essentially lost my job #I've told my manager I'm okay to go back to work #even if my body is still sore #but she's only given me a 3 hour shift a week #and you guessed it! #it's the late shift #the one where it takes me almost 2 hours to get home from #she's being so petty with me #and I am so behind in rent #I've applied for government assistance and I have a meeting with them tomorrow #I really hope they can help because I feel awful #I'm also annoyed at myself because I can't find my knee brace ANYWHERE #I thought I could find one for around $10 but nope! #the closest stores selling them are like $25+ so that's fun #I don't know when I'll be able to draw again #I'm so stressed again about money and secueing work #hopefully once I can get govt assistance at least I can enjoy life again #also I tried to ask the zine that still owes me money if they could finally send payment but they still keep delaying it with excuses #I'm so desperate it's shameful

[silenthillbunni]

☁️🌷

#ugh im so anxious and like i think i have more pains bc of it #i overslept bc ever since i got a new phone my alarm is so quiet i never wake up?? this is the third time this happens for this class #but i cant miss more bc if i have more than three weeks absence they'll fail me :< so i hurried and walked to school #i wish i had a bus pass T-T since they introduced civilian clothed controllants i havent dared taking the bus at all i dont wanna get a fine #so yes anyway. on top of that im pretty sure my sister stole my keys. bc they were in my jacket pocket yesterday and today they werent there #and she left somewhere earlier this morning. so now im anxious abt not knowing where they are + will i get inside?? my mom wakes up late af #ummm what else???? idk im just so stressed. i got to class and have been here for 40min now and the teacher left for lunch #i'll leave now bc i cant focus enough to sit here more. my tooth aches too :(( #i just wanna cry tbh #the entire way here i was like i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die #i feel so awful.. and stupd and worthless. why am i incapable of getting a job? or even studying at university? im so bad at everything #im like an anxious wreck who can barely function. everything hurts both physically and emotionally #i dont even wanna walk home im just sitting in my empty classroom bc i dont wanna kove #move* #what's wrong with me? how did i turn into this? i miss school. like i miss being able to actually do my work and talk to the teachers etc #im only a shell of what i used to be. and im scared i'll never be anything other than this :(((( #well i gotta move ig bc the sooner i do the sooner i can get home and lie in my bed & cry over how useless i am :3

[soldier-poet-king]

MADE MYSELF SAD BY ACCIDENT WEEKEND RUINED ALREADY

#the duality of fran #yes i called in to work. i genuine stressed myself out so much i gave myself insane stomach issues #ah well #so played bg3 all day. grinding thru the last bits of act3 in my durge run #so i can get the epilogues before im separated from my gaming pc for the holidays #I CANT SEE THE EPILOGUES RN. BC. MT FUCKIN TAV FILES. ARE GONE #had some computer and steam cloud issues and anyway. my first playthru saves are gonsies so i gotta finish this run #TO GET THE EPILOGUES #anyway i did all of wyll and karlachs act 3 stuff and i think that made me extra sad #plus not eating properly bc stomach badness #and also just. probably shouls not have done nearly 10 hrs of video games straight #but alas #anyway im now extremely sad and anxious #about simultaneously everything and nothing #tattoos? my health? my family bullshit? the ultimate fate of the universe? every single problem in the world rn? #the fact that I'll never look like im supposed to? and part of me was using tattoos as a bandaid solution to fix that #and it did. not work #im not unhappy w them just not how i imagined it. but nothing ever is #and also winter. yknow. that awful time #more family drama lately. i rlly should clean my room. or de clutter my desk at least #IDK. IM JUST. SAD #and being sad is ok when i feel like i habe a purpose/duty to fulfill #but now i just kinda feel like. well im wasting air and space and resources and im not serving any function #self as a tool. yknow. i know thats bad. but. idk. idk

[martyrbat]

im so considerate.... (<- guy not ranting about a thing it hates before its friend is done with the media)

#can officially say i finished the arkhamverse. didnt watch anything about that suicide squad one but i read all comics #a d watched the complete story & side mission gameplay for origins asylum city and midway through my refresher for knight #the biggest takeaway i have is wow these people are weird about convicts and addicts and love their toxic masculinity #but the gameplay and nostalgia impacts peoples opinions on it. maybe an enjoyable experience but for the story or universe itself #its a complete failure in every regard i can think of—only having glimpses moments of quality that makes the rest of it #be frustrating because the potential can be there. theres interesting premises occasionally but the execution and payoff doesn't make it #even worthwhile to get to those premises because of what you must wade through to reach them #<- thats me being my nicest and most spoiler freeabout it btw. #my other big takeaway is that tim is canonically older than jason and i think a grown ass man saying fuck that kid is really funny #[SPOILERS LOOK AWAY CJ] #<- tim currently works as a highschool science teacher while jason was shown to be adopted and made robin at 15 #where he was then promptly captured and kidnapped by joker. he escaped half? a year later during asylum and AK takes place 2 years afterward #i think. the entire timeline for this shitty universe is awful and confusing. dick was robin for like 2 years its ridiculous. #and i think primarily so they can go noooo see bruce is a hot late 30 year old instead because you become dust at any older!! #but. back to the age thing. hes about 17 maybe early 18 during AK but because tim is a private school teacher he needs a bachelor's degree #and most people get it at 22/23ish and then theres the actual teacher application and being hired (or not because hes a nepo baby) #so hes early mid twenties or so. compared to a (presumably dead) teenager who he called a loser more or less.

[raksh-writes]

Maybe this doesn’t need to be said, but Im feeling awful about it, so -- to any mutuals that might notice Im not following them anymore, I'm sorry about that. I've just seen too many posts on my dash that I have no way of blocking because they're not tagged in any way and they're distressing enough it's turning one of the only places I considered a safe space not safe for me anymore. So for my own mental health, I had to unfollow. I Will refollow in the future and I still love y'all, but I just-- I can’t. Ive been noticing some very worrying stuff about my mental and emotional state and it's just too much currently. I hope it's at least an understandable decision, and I wish y'all are having a good day out there 💗

#personal #I know its important to keep up with current events #but life overall's been a bit too much for me lately #I should prob go back to my therapist #I haven’t seen her since I went back to uni #for one because I didn’t know my schedule when we last meet and we both thought this should balance me #finally having purpose again and doing what I actually enjoy #but I also don’t have a job now so its costs and... I don’t know #but I probably should now that Im thinking maybe its time to actually get medicated for real #tho first maybe I should just visit my family doc and ask for those vit d supplements my therapists talked about #see if thats gonna be enough #autumn (and winter) has always been an awful time for me in terms of mental and emotional health #but it feels even worse these days #like Im battling against depression every day recently and rarely anything works to distract me #which is why its been hard to get back to peels in dms and such too #I was meant to meet with a friend now that Im studying in a city she lives in but I have yet to get back to her #and it feels like I have not only Zero but like Negative energy and motivation #+ Ive been dealing with an upset stomach for Weeks now #no matter what I eat it feels weird and achy and barely anything tastes good for me already so now its even worse #anyway this turned into such a rant Im sorry #I just didn’t want the lovely peeps Ive been mutuals with for a long time to think I stopped liking them or smth #its just certain untagged posts that I would otherwise block if I could #and I dont wanna impose onto anyone like a 'rule' to tag them or whatever #so yeah this is just temporary #hopefully at some point I get better enough to survive the couple distressing posts heh...

[kyouka-supremacy]

WAIT YOU AREN'T AMERICAN???

#Sorry akdbrvekkdbrjekbdke this is just. not the first time I receive an ask of this kind and I really can't figure what makes this idea– #come across and how to stop it akdmbrkskdbbeksbdbeksk #I am. very much not. Besides I feel like my English is super broke so I thought at least *that* would give it away!!! #people asks me stuff #It's just. There's a big modern cultural colonization by the usa of my and other European countries– #which... Eh... Doesn't make me... Well... Uh... Very fond of the usa to put it that way #And I KNOW it's unfair towards the people and I love all of my friends from the usa deeply and truly #But like. I totally get this is just a small thing but like... It's hard to explain. #But you need to understand the influence the usa has on Europe is BAD. And at least in my country it's utterly terrible. #And it's more of an extension of a deep capitalist structure than all usa's fault but like... My country is currently undergoing a– #privatization of healthcare and education following a blatantly american model which is BAD. There's like one (1) thing that our country– #has going on which is free healthcare and some of the current leaders want to change that just because for them if that's how it works in– #the usa then it must be good. It's bad. it's screwed up. Once every year someone brings up making of the country a federal state– #like what the fuuuuuck what is wrong with everyone. Not to mention all the media we consume comes directly from the usa and contributes– #spreading the idea the usa is on top of the world and all other countries are underdeveloped compared to them. You see why it's bad #But like. God this is an awful and faulted way to reduce an extremely complex subject I really can't dwell on because an entire thesis– #could be written on it. But there's a huge cultural colonization in Europe that makes people feel like there's no possible alternative to– #late stage american capitalism which is sooooooo so so so fucked up. #Because capitalism wins the moment people start believing no alternative is possible

[koishua]

"no dw he's super friendly!!" after i was pounced on by a massive dog that im not familiar with 🧍🧍

#tp #ma'am do you not see the bag and suitcase im hurriedly pulling behind me???? do i look like i CARE if your dog is friendly?? #get it off me oml #today has been eventful. awful cramps + travelling back to work + exam stress + bus only once an hour bc it's sunday #so i had to drag my bags with me walking for twenty minutes which isn't bad but i was on a time crunch and my train was gonna arrive soon #and this dog jumps on me and the owner can barely hold it back #and the train ends up coming in five minutes late (pretty standard DB behaviour) #AND it's filled to the brim with middle aged smokers all pushing each other to get to the big soccer game #i hate match days. so much. all of the streets become clogged and a three minute underground train becomes a forty five minutes struggle #plus EVERYONE and their mothers are smoking and it stinks and burns #sick and tired of the yellow and black merch y'all iykyk

[aurosoul]

life continues to be stranger than fiction lately

(top pics are me having an augmented reality game night with my BF, bottom pics are from an AR party held in the same warehouse where they filmed Saw. I was there giving demos with the Magic Leap 2!)

#picture journal #me #vr #ar #augmented reality #virtual reality #figmin xr #i'm working overtime lately finishing our submission video for AWE #and preparing for our booth there!! #also obligatory statement that the ppl in these pics are my friends and they consented to be in them #well. everyone except kona (the doggy) but i think she's more concerned that we were throwing invisible objects than about online privacy 😂 #it's VERY funny in the video watching her follow our hands as we're playing cornhole #she keeps trying to figure out what we're throwing and looks so concerned for our sanity lmao #the ar game night recordings will be part of the contest submission video #so i hope the judges are dog people and get a laugh out of this

[pepprs]

feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair

#purrs #delete later #basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize #evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of #it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like.. #feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being #quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and #wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke. #i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be #this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about #myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what #happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome #this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music + #realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal #anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️ #at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is #just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳 #this is a ​really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already