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sebstanseabass · 3 years

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Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 12

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER TWELVE

The chilly wind knocked against your small windows, mirroring the pounding in your head. Opening your eyes felt impossible as the dried tears stuck on your waterline. You groaned with your mouth closed, pulling the blanket over your body. You opened your mouth, licked your dry lips like a puppy just waking up; the aftertaste of liquor sat on your mouth. You almost wanted to hurl everything you put into your mouth last night but you suppressed it, seeing that you were in no state of getting up just yet. How much did I have to drink last night? Did I do something remotely stupid? Did I go somewhere? You had more to ask yourself but your thoughts dissipated, just dreading this hell of a headache to end.

There was more pounding and knocking; left, right and in just every direction — on the windows, in your head and lastly on your door.

"Are you up, doll?" A deep voice echoed from the other side of the door. It belonged to Bucky.

Bucky. Oh fuck, Bucky.

Your eyes shot open at the sound of his voice (not minding the stickiness on your waterline), sudden vivid images appeared in your mind. The bar. Bottles of vodka on the floor. Steve. Your photos. A limo on the street. Wandavision. And Bucky's arms wrapped around you, lips fluttering on your forehead. Dead, drunk thoughts.

Everything was coming back to you. Even the taste of liquor and the smell of the damp street.

Still in a state of hangover, you couldn't bring yourself to speak just yet so you groaned a bit louder, letting him know that you were now brought back to life.

"Good morning, sunshine." He said a little too loudly for your bionic ears.

"Sshhh." was all you could muster, hiding further into the little cocoon you had made yourself just earlier.

"Come on, doll. It's past twelve but I did cook you breakfast."

The softness in his voice made your heart flutter and lessened the pain in your head. Slowly, you uncovered yourself and revealed the mess that you were to Bucky who was just standing patiently in front of you.

"How are you feeling? Do you need to hurl?"

You swallowed, and shook your head no as you slowly stood up from the bed. You grabbed the edge of the nightstand as the floor beneath you started to spiral. Before it could even swallow you whole, Bucky sped towards you and kept his arms around you until you reached the bathroom. You gestured to Bucky that you could wash your face and brush your teeth all by yourself so he let you be. He retreated towards the kitchen.

You tried to find your voice back once you splashed your face with the ice cold water. Yeah, that'll cure my hangover. You stared at your reflection in the mirror and was surprised you didn't look as much of a mess than you imagined you would be. You were thinking disheveled hair (baby hairs going up in different directions, looking like a kid who just played with the static electricity ball for the first time), smudged lipstick, running mascara, and clothes from the night before — a walk of shame starter pack.

A look of confusion crossed your face, noticing that you weren’t wearing the same clothes you were wearing last night. Then you looked back at Bucky with wide eyes, who was whistling a song while preparing breakfast at noontime.

You splashed your face with more water before going to the kitchen. Breakfast had been served at the small round table. Eggs, bacon, bagels, toast, and of course, Bucky's cereal.

"T-thank you." You managed to say.

It seemed like, you noticed, whenever Bucky did something nice to you that you obviously could yourself, the words seemed to fall out of your mouth so painfully slowly. This was the second time. No one had ever bought you clothes before, and had made you breakfast before, so saying the phrase "thank you" came somewhat unnatural.

Bucky didn't seem to notice as he scooped a big chunk of his cereal. "It's no problem. I figured you'd be hungry after... last night."

"Right." Last night.

You sighed, biting a piece of bacon. Oily, savory bacon which tasted better after a hangover. Good God.

The silence started to creep around you as you ate, among the elephants in the room (yes, elephants. I was rather a big crybaby with an undeniable thirst for affection). They were hard to ignore, of course and you knew you had to say something, at least the word "Sorry" but the simple five-letter word got stuck in your throat.

"I was expecting for us to talk once Howard dropped us off but you were knocked out." Bucky started. You mentally thanked him for speaking first but God knows, you couldn't quite handle confrontation — at least not about you. "I hope you don't mind, I changed your clothes and took some of your makeup off your face. You made quite a mess."

"I-I noticed." Third time. "And no, I don't mind at all. I think a 'thank you' is rather appropriate."

"You're welcome, doll." He grinned. "Don't worry, I didn't look. I undressed you with, uh, utmost respect."

"And hey, if you'd seen me naked then we're even." You laughed, recalling the first time you had met him.

"I promise you, I didn't see you butt naked so we're not even."

The mood lightened up a bit and started to take its own pace. You began to sit more comfortably on the chair, and grab more bacon and eggs. "Bucky," You started, hating to break what was a nice, light atmosphere, "I think I need to address the elephant in the room."

You’ve always hated that phrase. Elephant in the room. Why did it have to be elephants? Why couldn't it be, oh I don't know, dogs or cats or a raccoon? It sounded less scarier.

"I was just about to start." Bucky chuckled.

"I truly am sorry for the things that happened last night. Getting drunk, being such a fucking crybaby, and for well, you know."

Bucky knew. You knew. Even if you were drunk as a skunk, you knew all too well what you did. And you shouldn't have done it. Not like that, anyway. Not in that state.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused you, Bucky. I guess I just had my jar full and I exploded right then and there. Y-you have to know," Fourth time, "I don't normally act like that. So rash, and irrational, and such a child. I usually think things through but last night, I clearly didn't. Please don't tell Parker about this. Not a word. Even though I basically take care of him, he's still so worried about me. Last night won't happen again. It was... impulsive, reckless, childish. And just plain stupid."

"Are you done?"

I frowned. "Um, yeah. I think I am."

"Look, y/n. You don't have to apologize. You're allowed to feel that way sometimes and it's okay."

"To feel that way, yes, I suppose but to act on those feelings... I don't think so. God, you shouldn't have seen me like that. Oh, God. Why did I let you see me like that?" Then, your face fell on your hands.

"I don't know if you remember this but just in case... You actually told Steve to call me.”

"I did?" You lifted your face, your eyes meeting his. "Oh no. Steve. I have to apologize to Steve. I think I said some mean things to him or... or something. And I have to pay for those drinks."

"Already taken care of. I talked to him this morning."

"You have Steve's phone number?"

"Let's just say I have my ways, yeah? Now you don't have to worry that much."

"Okay, yeah." You knew now more than ever never to question Bucky when he says stuff like that. "Thank you, Bucky. Really."

"I know, doll." He continued. "So... about your little speech. It was quite big. Ironically. You, uh, really let your guard down."

"To be honest, I don't remember much of it." You admitted, hiding your face through the little knots in your hair.

"I don't remember the exact words you said but I do think you said something of the lines of having to prove your parents wrong and that you've achieved nothing since you came here. And then you told me a bit about your friendship with Wanda and I suppose seeing her studio that fine afternoon pulled a trigger on your envy."

Suddenly, you heard yourself through and amidst the honking vehicles, the sounds of feet trudging the sidewalk, and the snotty wailing coming out of your nose and mouth. You relived it in my head, heard every crack of your voice, smelled the liquor from under your nose, and felt Bucky's hand interlaced with yours.

"Yeah, it's all coming back to me now." I really did let my guard down. All walls. Down. Just like that.

"You've never been back there? To your home?"

"No." You answered. "I have never stepped foot in New Jersey again ever since I moved here. Going back meant I failed and so, maybe I should go now." Bitterness was evident in your voice.

"Y/n, if I had your talent," Bucky set down his utensils now, his eyes digging right into yours, "I would never give it all up, even if it meant rebelling against my parents. If... if my folks were alive and would stop me from chasing my dreams... Hell, I too wouldn't listen to them. And you shouldn't either."

It was the first time Bucky mentioned anything remotely related to his birth parents or anything real in his life. You looked at him, crouched like a little child, lifting a spoon to his mouth. And there it was again, an onion peeling on its own, layer by layer by layer, but still missing its very core.

"It's been years yet I'm still stuck in the bar. That was only supposed to be a temp job to help Peter pay the bills." You knew in your heart and mind that you should stop yourself from talking but your walls were already down; the downest (is that even a word?) they've ever been. Here you were, in a room in front of a man you had only known for days and you had already revealed the most vulnerable side there was to you, that you didn't know even existed.

You didn't know if it was the remaining alcohol in your system or your walls crumbling down some more but talking about it felt right. Because you knew these words were aching to come out of your mouth, desperate for someone to hear them.

To hear you.

"I was so sure," you continued, "that I was going to skyrocket in the media industry. Making a name for myself, seeing my photos on billboards, magazines — everywhere. I wanted to see the world but I got stuck on product photography for small businesses. I was supposed to move on to bigger things... Bigger names. Now, I don't know what's in store for me."

"Y/n, you're living in the city of art and culture. You're surrounded by art and that's why you should explore more of it. And then once you do, find its center; its heart. Let that be your... masterpiece and then make more of it."

"You know, you're really good at selling some bullshit."

"You say it's bullshit now, doll." He laughed. "Until you see the big picture."

Bucky's words kept echoing on the walls of your brain as you tried your best to sleep off the headache you were still suffering from. But the pain in your head overpowered his voice, letting you doze off for a few more hours before you showered, slipped into some comfortable clothes and headed down towards the bar.

It was thirty past five when you arrived in the bar — the latest you had ever been but the realization seeping in your mind slipped away upon seeing Steve enter his office. You ignored the calls from Nick and Nat from behind the counter, wondering why you were so late. Once you were outside of Steve's office, you took a deep breath and gently knocked on his door.

A soft "come in" was heard.

You obliged and stepped inside his cramped office.

Steve stood upright by the window, holding and reading something inside a folder. He noticed your figure and slowly retreated back to his chair. He ushered you to sit across from him. You sent him a tight-lipped smile as soon as you sat down.

"I think you probably know why I'm here." You started. He nodded in response. "Steve, I am so so sorry about last night. I was just... I don't... I can't even begin to fathom why I even did that in the first place — "

"Y/n, stop." said Steve. "I forgive you. And I think I owe you an apology too."

"What do you mean?"

"Last night, you asked me why I bought those photos and why I let you put some of them here in the bar. I didn't lie when I told you that I like them and they're amazing shots but... I think I also did it out of pity.”

And there it was. The truth. Whoever said the truth sets you free never had been lied to. And whoever said it must be suckerpunched right in the face.

"You were struggling, y/n. I could count on the fingers the people who went to your exhibit."

That photo exhibit happened more than a year ago, or maybe less — you couldn't quite remember as you buried it at the back of your mind. It occurred in a space for rent here in the Upper West Side, the same size as your apartment. As Steve described the scene that day, the memory immersed at the center of your brain, placing all the things displayed, all the people who showed up one by one. And little by little, a part of you started to fade into dust.

"You don't have to remind me, Steve."

Steve slid a bunch of photos on his desk towards you. The photos you took from the walls last night were staring at you. Crumpled. "Your new friend Bucky paid me a little visit this morning. We had quite the chat."

"Bucky came?"

"He showed the photos to me and left them here after paying for the drinks you drank last night. I don't know why he did it. He never gave me an explanation but it got me thinking... All these photos, I realized, were of us, the people around you."

"What are you getting at, Steve?"

"The bar, the street outside of the bar, the streets from your rooftop, and the park. They're all a part of your routine. I know I've always shown this professional front in front of you guys but you're not just my employees. I care about you and your well being, and your dreams. That's why I'm letting you go."

"Letting me go?"

"Y/n, what I'm trying to say is you're fired."

"What?!"

Your heart started to pace quicker than it usually would. It started to feel like it was about to punch Steve right in his damn face and knock him off the wall.

"No, no, no, no! This... This is a good thing."

"What? No, it's not! I'm the best employee you're ever gonna get." You argued, trying to save your job.

"That's why I'm firing you, y/n. I don't need you as my best employee. This isn't where you belong. Bartending won't get you anywhere near your dreams."

"But it helps me pay my bills!" You exclaimed, your voice getting higher and higher.

"I know, I know that's why I'm giving you a one-week notice. To think things through, and maybe have a plan."

You scoffed. "I had a plan that took me almost a year and three years later, it didn't work out and now, you're telling me I have one week to plan my damn future?"

"I'm risking losing my best employee yet." Steve replied with a smile, leaning against his cushioned chair. "Take what you can from that."

It had been a few hours after the little talk you had with Steve. Your head was spinning all over the place. You were having a hard time taking orders, and making drinks. You’ve had a few people complain to Nat. Apparently, you had been mixing up orders for the past few hours. Nick encouraged you to take a little break and while having that little break, a familiar lavender-vanilla scene filled your nose.

Your hunches rang true as you saw Bucky enter the bar (no suit this time, just a polo shirt and some trousers). Behind him followed a black man, entering the bar for the first time. Bucky spotted you in seconds inside the farthest booth where no one usually sits. A smile landed on your lips.

God, was I happy to see him.

The moment his arm snaked around your waist, your thoughts dissipated in a snap. "Hey, doll. I brought a friend of mine."

The black man beamed upon seeing you, extending his hand out for you to shake.

"Okay, let's cut to the chase. My name is Sam Wilson and I want to make business with you."

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes story #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #James Buchanan Barnes #bucky fic

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semperintrepida · 3 years

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Hello! Since you have a number of iterations of Kassandra and Kyra, I'm going to be greedy: ✖ and ♫ for Sellout!Kass ಠ for painter!Kyra and # for game!canon/Immortal!Kass :D thank you!

[I know I’m doing these headcanons wrong, but it's way easier for me to express mine in actual prose. I suppose these serve as an example of how I work my HCs into my fic.]

anger, sellout!Kassandra

She used to be angry all the time, when she was young. It was her default state. It was how she rolled. Anger was the friend she needed, the one who always had her back. Anger never abandoned her.

She always played ball with a chip on her shoulder, too. Where a teammate might glance into the parents’ section of the stands after a nice play, Kassandra never bothered. Double-double, triple-double, raining buckets, every accomplishment a Fuck you to someone who wasn’t there to see it.

In her teens, she learned to tamp the anger down, to keep it under wraps. She scared people, intimidated them without even trying just by being fifteen and nearly six feet tall in her socks. She learned to turn up the charm. Easier to flirt with girls when they weren’t terrified of her. But the anger was still there, just like the seats in the stands with her parents’ names on them, always empty, always cold.

music, sellout!Kassandra

When Kyra hit shuffle on Kassandra’s spotify, she was expecting something fancy to come up, like Swan Lake. Or Mozart. Something black tie and crystal chandelier.

She wasn’t expecting Frank Ocean.

“I can’t feel nothing, superhuman,” he sang, while Kassandra wove the Audi through a pack of left-lane campers on I5, her fingers tapping the steering wheel lightly. “Zero emotion, muted emotion, pitch-corrected, computed emotion...”

"Cocaine for breakfast?" Kyra asked, as the Terwilliger curves zoomed by.

Kassandra smirked. "Only on special occasions."

This was another layer peeled back, but unlike an onion, which kept its general shape as it shed its skin, Kassandra kept revealing new facets that made her shine brighter in the light. Kyra could only wonder what else she'd find if she kept at it.

sadness, painter!Kyra

Most mornings, Kyra would awaken to a desolate expanse of grey sheets where Kassandra should be. She was used to it now, this lack of Kassandra. It helped her focus on her work. In her studio, she'd start the day by taking up a flat pane of glass and mixing paint, starting with a base of green or blue or yellow.

Those greens and blues and yellows slowly gave way to white, some as delicate as porcelain, others with names like "Titanium" and "Zinc." Hard names, metallic names, whites that she'd cut with drops of black, mixing out grey after grey, adding more and more black, until one morning, faced with a blank canvas and a clean flat of glass, she reached for the tube of black paint first.

She painted in a fugue state, and at the end of it, she stepped back and found an canvas staring back at her devoid of any hue, the only light in it a diffuse fog. Dark shapes lurked in the depths and at the painting's edges. She'd always been a landscape painter, but this was the first time she'd rendered one entirely internal.

That's when she knew she couldn't do this any longer. She had to break up with Kassandra.

technology, canon-immortal!Kassandra

"I want the dumbest TV you have,” Kassandra said to the young man in a blue shirt, inside what was considered an agora in the 21st century: a huge concrete box, lit with fluorescent lights. This particular edifice to capitalism was inexplicably called "Best Buy."

He squinted at her, all pimples and confusion. “A dumb... TV?”

“Yes. I don’t want it connecting to my WiFi, or calling home to mater, or listening to me talk. A dumb TV.”

"I don't... know if we have any of those."

"Find out." She sighed as she watched him hurry away. Eukleídēs had no idea what he'd started when he published those damn books of his. He'd borrowed the ideas for the first two volumes from her own pater, but once his system of mathematical proof was unleashed on the world, it was all downhill from there. Techne and logos: to build skill through expression. Humanity had combined mathematics and language all the way to the atomic bomb and footprints on the moon—and children were still starving to death every day.

What a waste.

[headcanon asks meme]

#i'm glad you asked #eagle-raider #kassandra #with a smidge of #kyssandra #ac odyssey #headcanon #wip: sellout #wip: heatindex #wip: elegiad #i am lol'ing so hard at the idea of elegiad!kass ending up in a best buy #tmi

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oosteven-universe · 2 years

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Eat The Rich #4

Eat The Rich #4 BOOM! Studios 2021 Written by Sarah Gailey Illustrated by Pius Bak Coloured by Roman Titov Lettered by Cardinal Rae Even as Joey struggles to make sense of everything she's seen, what role her beloved Astor has in it, and what it means for her relationship with him, Crestfall Bluffs is a flurry of activity preparing for the Thistleburn Unveiling Gala Party. When Joey intervenes in a situation she doesn't fully understand, it will bring everything to a head in the most unexpected way! Joey really has gotten in over her head and while she’s still unsure about this whole eating the help business she’s been doing it and there’s some kind of addictive element to the whole thing and it’s something she cannot control. The more she’s exposed to it and these people the more she’s becoming a part of this world. I like seeing the progression from issue to issue as she’s changing and adapting to her new life while her protests or her inner conflict is something that continues to get quieter and quieter. Though that might all change after this issue but we’ll see because things really kind of get heated up here and I’m excited to see the direction things are going to gravitate towards. I’d say I’d like to see something happen but the way Sarah is writing this I'm not about to guess. I’m a huge fan of the way that this is being told. The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is spectacularly handled. The character development that we see through the narration, the dialogue, the character interaction as well as how we see them act and react to the situations and circumstances which they encounter does a magnificent job in continuing to flesh out these personalities through their changes. The pacing is excellent and as it takes us through the pages revealing more and more of the story the twists & turns come fast & furious. I’m extremely impressed with the way that we see this being structured and how the layers within the story continue to emerge, grow, evolve and strengthen. I’m also liking how we see the layers within the story open up new avenues to be explored. Whether or not these new avenues do indeed get explored or not they all add this great depth, dimension and complexity to the story. How we see everything working together to create the story’s ebb & flow as well as how it moves the story forward are impeccably achieved. I’m enjoying the interiors here a whole heck of a lot. The linework is clean, crisp and sharp so that with the varying weights and techniques we see such great detail within the work coming out. How we see backgrounds being utilised to enhance and expand the moments as well as how they work within the composition of the panels to bring out the depth perception sense of scale and the overall sense of size and scope to the story is remarkably well achieved. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show a remarkably talented eye for storytelling. The various hues and tones within the colours being utilised to create the shading, highlights and shadow work shows a really strong eye for how colour works. This is an infinitely fascinating look at the world these people live in from all sides. Those who rule, those who enter and those who serve and honestly I wasn’t sure what to expect coming into this but it surely wasn’t this. Instead I’m seeing such a great story unfolding before us that has as many layers as an onion and if you're not careful peeling them back the result could be the same. With some stellar writing and intense characterisation alongside these classic comic book style interiors make this a read you don’t want to miss.

#Comic Books #Comics Reviews #BOOM! Studios

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fpbaps-blog · 7 years

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Be A Questioner – Peel Back The Onion Of Society

Be A Questioner – Peel Back The Onion Of Society A questioner can be defined as someone who questions all expectations and they will meet those expectations if they can justify, to themselves, that it makes sense to do. I was listening to a podcast where the author, Gretchen Rubin, of the book “The Four Tendencies” coined this phrase and I couldn’t help but notice that it described me. She talks about this tendency when assessing people’s personality to allow an individual to change their own habits faster and more effectively. I look to dive into this a little deeper and evaluate how being a questioner can help any person unveil the inconvenient truth’s around them. George Carlin, one of the best comedians/modern day philosophers, has talked about frequently that we must question everything. It’s something that is for the most part, looked down on. You see it in all aspects of life from politics, religion, all the way through to parenting, and fitness. No one likes to get questioned because it either challenges their authority or at the very least it challenges their intellect. In schools they like to say there isn’t such a thing as a bad question but in reality, kids still don’t ask questions because fear of alienation from there peers or fear of frustrating the teacher. In politics you see it all the time where politicians are questioned about topics that are influenced by them rather then answer questions that are relevant to the sustainability of the society. I digress but the point is that because people fear to ask questions, several dysfunctional patterns have developed in society that prevent the progress of the very things I blog about like sustainability, performance, health, medical, efficiency and the mind. The funny thing about questions is if you ask the right ones, it’s only a matter of time before the lies are unraveled. If someone is telling the truth, it’s only natural that eventually your questioning will lead to truth. Deceit has a way of deceptively hiding under many layers but just like an onion, the way to its core is by peeling those layers back. Ill describe a couple of those dysfunctional patterns in our society to help you become more aware of deception and pick away at those layers people so conveniently rap their lies around. When someone or a group becomes too dogmatic then you have a clear indicator that something is up. You might say that the group Functional Patterns (FP) could be considered dogmatic to a degree. I would say it doesn’t because dogmatic is defined as laying down principles that are incontrovertibly true. The principles at FP are linked to facts that connect to our origins and human biology that can be proven with our very eyes and scientific facts. Similar to quantum field theory, discovered by Albert Einstein and connected to our environment and diets by Jack Kruse, is backed with concrete facts. The concepts I blog about known as the inconvenient truths, once peeled all the way down, get to concrete truths not lies and deceptions like you see today. People and the environment change over time so it’s only natural that you grow with that evolution to allow for an effective practice of any kind. Dogmatic behavior rarely changes and if it does, it’s usually just to serve a monetary need to continue its practice of passing along its dogmatic knowledge. Typically you’ll see with groups or people that are very dogmatic is that they will always ask for money and look to keep you as a long time annuity for their cause. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get paid for your services because we all need it to survive in society. There is a price for all services but are the services you’re purchasing sustainable? When you peel the onion back of these dogmatic groups or people, you’ll find they’re looking to indoctrinate you with their beliefs to serve a monetary gain and doesn’t serve to benefit you at all. If these groups or people don’t promote sustainability and efficiency then you have another clear indicator of deception. Add that with dogmatic behavior and monetary gain and you have a compelling argument for a fraudulent group, business or person. People become emotionally invested in the investment of time they have to their practice. This is the next behavior you find when you keep peeling back the onion. Any time you see a leakage of emotions specifically the violent ones like anger, frustration, then beware. Society builds this habit of being invested in the time we spend on what we do. It’s like the theory of the American dream; work hard, pay your dues, stay in line and eventually you’ll be successful. Anyone with half a brain or some real world experience knows that the American dream is an illusion and the world doesn’t work in this systematic fashion. This is most prevalent behavior from people who have spent their whole lives working towards degrees, doctorates, certifications you name it. Then the second someone challenges these people, they flash this piece of paper in front of your eyes declaring that, “You don’t know shit, sit down and just let me do my job” I’m paraphrasing but that’s typically how that conversation goes. I’m not saying these people aren’t intellectual, smart or educated in what they do. The problem is that these degrees close the minds of these individuals leaving them unable to grow and see different perspectives. I have known many people who go through these doctorate programs where they cram as much information as possible and rarely retain any of the information. How is that an efficient way to learn? These degrees tend to develop dogmatic behavior in practice and people become overly invested with the time they put in making them unlikely to evolve or change. Another thing you’ll see is that these people will toss all these research and peer reviewed studies at you to support their way. Doesn’t this tactic seem familiar? Tobacco, drug and food industry do the very same thing because they know an overload of information confuses the individual. “Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts” – Sherlock Holmes This information overload is simply an attempt to twist facts to support theories that financial benefit the people in these practices. I’m not saying all people with doctorates and degrees behave this way, I’m just giving an example that illustrates how most people or groups in these situations behave. Some might say I have an investment of time towards what I do and that I would be emotional if I was challenged too. I have of course invested a great deal of time in what I do but when you peel that onion you won’t see deception or financial gain at the end. All you will find is one man, collectively with other like minded individuals, working to uncover the inconvenient truth’s that have been in our blind spots this whole time. But by all means question away I look forward to answering any questions you may have. Now, one great example everyone can understand to illustrate the fraudulent behavior in society. The medical field is a great example deceptive behavior with prescription drugs and diabetic patients. Diabetics get their daily prescription of pills and insulin every month paying these drug companies for their services but over the last decade, diabetes rises. Jack Kruse has shown with the implementation of his leptin prescription (process, not a drug) that you can eliminate or at the very least minimize the devastating affects of diabetes. The cost for this service is a certain amount at the beginning, which leads to a life style change and an education of your own body. Then you’re on your way to grow and explore your new body. No financial annuity for Jack and a sustainable human that has expanded there life without the side effects of drugs and their past disease. However, the indoctrination of the medical field constantly puts out conflicting evidence about how diabetes is developed and makes it clear that without these drugs you won’t live very long. Is that really the case or are they more worried about losing them as an annuity for life? It’s hard to believe they care about curing diabetes when it has increased in America to 24 million cases, which is 8 percent of the population. 90-95 percent of cases are type 2 and cases have increased 90 percent over the last ten years. In a society that is developing innovative technology every year in the medical field it’s hard to believe it’s possible for cases of diabetes to be increasing at this alarming rate. Regardless, people still invest money in these foundations for research for a cure that already exists. Of course that would mean that investment of time would be for nothing after all these years but once again, the indoctrinations of these social structure restricts us from progression. The investment of time shouldn’t matter and you shouldn’t leave the answer to a serious illness to people who only look to make money off of you and increase there bottom lines. A questioner is someone who acts intentionally not habitually (Naudi Aguilar) and looks for reason rather then faith for there actions. Society looks to silent questioners with these deceptive manipulations employed across every industry to keep the status quo. My objective is to open your eyes to the habitual behavior that you have been manipulated to do through these indoctrinations from all these industries. The tools are in your hands to peel the onion back and reveal the deceptive nature of society. Start to understand that being wrong doesn’t mean failure but rather progression and success. I have been wrong numerous times and I understand that it readjusts the course I’m on which is towards truth. Einstein spent 10 years working to just prove his theories to the scientific community because they were so invested and dogmatic. I’ve noticed people are uncomfortable around me because people who know me know I’m always scanning for little details, body language and other things during conversation. The truth is there is enough garbage in the world that I don’t need to subject myself to it anymore then I have too. I think though people aren’t uncomfortable with me but really it’s with them. There vulnerable self is something they have been hiding or don’t accept which makes them uncomfortable. It all comes back to peeling back those layers to find the true meaning of whatever you’re looking into. Ask the right questions and you’ll eventually find your way to the truth. References http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2015/01/ta-da-the-launch-of-my-quiz-on-the-four-tendencies-learn-about-yourself/ http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/11/18/new-diabetes-rate-up-90-percent-in-last-decade.aspx

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t-talk · 7 years

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A warped reality

“If it turns out there is a simple ultimate law that explains everything so be it. That would be very nice a discovery. If it turns out it’s like an onion with millions of layers and we are just sick and tired of looking at the layers then that’s the way it is! And perhaps the onion with millions of layers is really an onion with an infinite number of layers, and we will always find new things to explore and understand.”

This statement by Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman reflects the inherent uncertainty in the laws of physics. The laws of physics describe reality. Because of the uncertainty in our knowledge of those laws, our picture of reality is uncertain. Can we ever know reality?

A physical law is an observed generality of nature, such as the law of gravity. Paraphrasing Feynman, the process of coming up with a physical law is thus: first, we guess a law based on common experience or current knowledge. For instance, we may see an apple fall and conclude that there is a force pulling the apple downwards.

Then, we compute the consequences of this law. When Newton came up with the law of gravitation, he tried to apply it to the orbit of planets. The law suggested that the orbit of planets was in the form of an ellipse.

Finally, we compare the consequences of the law to the results obtained by experiment, which is what really happens. Newton’s gravitational law agreed perfectly with the observation that planets orbited in ellipses. This is a crucial step in identifying the laws of physics for the only reason a physical law is preserved is because it accurately describes nature.

If the guess (called the hypothesis) fails to pass the test of experiment even once, regardless of the number of previous experiments it has agreed with, the hypothesis cannot be right and we must go back to the first step. Since we cannot be sure that a law will pass the next experiment, there is some uncertainty associated with our knowledge. As Feynman put it, “it doesn’t matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are. If it doesn’t agree with experiment, it’s wrong.”

Furthermore, there are different degrees of wrongness for if a hypothesis agrees with multiple experiments but disagrees with one in very different conditions it can be used as an approximation to reality. It might not be the closest result to nature that we can obtain, but it can be sufficiently close under certain conditions. For example, Newton’s theory of gravitation gives less accurate results when objects are extremely heavy or are moving very fast. In that case, Einstein’s general relativity gives better results. However, for most everyday situations there is practically no difference between the two theories, and one can opt to use Newton’s theory instead.

Besides, an experiment always involves measurements. By comparing those measurements to the values predicted by the hypothesis, we determine whether the hypothesis appropriately describes nature. There is always uncertainty in measurements as one cannot measure with 100% accuracy.

According to empiricism, we experience the world through our senses and scientific instruments are “extensions” of our senses. Thus, we get to know reality through the data we collect via experiments. However, this definition of reality is flawed. Since the data we collect through experiments is uncertain and thus prone to change with each measurement, multiple measurements suggest different realities. In addition, if a car’s speedometer is broken, does that mean that the car is not moving at all? If a car’s speedometer is broken, there should have been something to measure in the first place.

Another approach to reality is to assume that there might be a reality that we can experience parts of via experiment. No matter what happens to those parts that we cannot experience we will never be affected by them. Russell’s teapot illustrates this idea. Suppose that between Mars and Earth there is a teapot. The best telescopes in the world cannot detect it for it is too small. Each time more powerful telescopes are built and fail to detect the teapot, we are told that the teapot is smaller than expected. Therefore, we could believe in the existence of the teapot but would never be able to experience it; the existence of the teapot does not matter at all. Similarly, if we are unable to measure the car’s speed because of the broken speedometer, we would still know that the car is moving. It is simply part of a reality that we cannot measure at the moment.

Empiricism assumes that our senses are perfect detectors of reality that is they do not alter what they detect. However, David Deutsch argues that the world we experience is in fact a virtual reality, because our senses operate using electrical signals. Our brain is what produces the images that we see by interpreting the signals. According to him, our sensors are not perfect detectors of reality and therefore empiricism cannot be entirely true.

Deutsch’s concept of virtual reality and Feynman’s infinitely layered onion are both comfortably incorporated in a reality which we can only experience parts of. The reality our brain creates is what defines our reality, for what our brain fails to take into account we cannot experience, and thus it has no impact on us.

Further, the picture of reality described above has the potential to expand as we increase our ability to experience, and thus our onion with its infinite layers continuously reveals hidden layers as we peel layer after layer off. This is illustrated by the discovery of quantum mechanics: once we obtained the ability to investigate phenomena on a very small scale, we discovered that the laws of physics are completely different from what we expected, and thus expanded our reality.

What we perceive as reality might be virtual reality, a part of an actual reality. However, what is not part of our reality cannot affect us and we cannot determine a reality different from our virtual one. Therefore, it does not matter that our reality is virtual, for it is the only reality accessible to us.

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