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#knives out says ‘you know whodunnit - and you want them to get away with it’ then throws that last twist in
thebookworm0001 · 1 year
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Highlights of Glass Onion
1-Daniel Craig’s terrible southern accent
2-Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc playing Among Us in his bathtub again Angela Lansbury and Stephen Sondheim
3-“it’s so dumb”“It’s so dumb it’s brilliant”“No! It’s just dumb”
4-literally the whole movie is about how dumb Elon Musk is. Also Zuckerberg. And whoever the fuck the other billionaire is. But also definitely Elon Musk.
4-Benoit Blanc is so clearly gay in such a casual way I love it
5-Janelle Monáe
6-The very clear messaging of ‘you will never take down a person like this through the legal ways so just beat the shit out of them until something gives’
7- everyone is clearly having the time of their lives making this movie
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pocmuzings · 4 years
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hello and i hope you’re doing ok!! i’m thinking of starting a murder mystery esque rp but this will be my first time running an rp and i’d love to hear any tips/preferences/things you’d like to see if you have any in terms of plot/execution!!
omg how exciting !!!!! you have to link me when it comes all together, i’d love to see it ! in response to you - this is by no means definitive or how you should run a rp. u can run it HOWEVER you would like, but these are things i’ve found that i enjoy for these type of rps / general murder mystery plots!!!
HAVE THE KILLER BE SOMEONE IN THE RP - this is the essence of the rp after all, it’s a murder MYSTERY, u can’t just have joe-blow an npc be the murderer bc then it kinda defeats the purpose of why anybody would want to solve it! ppl like to have an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION to whoever the killer could be. before you even open the rp to the public, u should know who your killer is, and WHY they’re the killer. and they should be someone who is a playable character!!!
HAVE RED HERRINGS  - this is a classic move for murder mysteries of all sorts. you need someone to look like the bad guy. you need someone to be suspicious and have motive and incentive, but then . . it turns out they’re innocent ! have 2-3 red herrings hidden away. this really involves people in the plot because they start thinking it’s one person, then another person, THEN ANOTHER!! it’s great for all development !
MAKE THE RP EITHER OC, OR SKELETON. DON’T MIX BOTH - this helps create the ~mystery~ and whodunnit. if you write skeletons .. chances are, the murderer is going to be one of the skeletons, right ? so then that already wipes out all of your oc’s from being suspects!!! i personally think its more fun to have one or the other for this sort of rp !
HAVE A STRONG TIMELINE OF EVENTS - plot this out beforehand too. think about how and when evidence will be found. think about police reports being released. think about who will be called into the police station , and how this will throw a spanner into the works for all the other characters in the rp. create doubt. create suspicion. create paranoia amongst the characters . don’t let your rp start with a murder mystery and then let it flop with no plot drops, or events pertaining to said murder mystery. this is like baking a cake , and not even putting it in the oven. it’s like .. u started smth great , but now whats the point?
GIVE EVERY CHARACTER JUST A LIIIIITLE BIT OF MOTIVE - this is good because you do want every character to have just a little bit of a reason as to why they would have potentially ~murdered someone
KEEP THE MURDERER A MYSTERY … EVEN TO THE MURDERER ! - i don’t think its necessary to let someone know they’ve picked up the ‘murderer’ straight away, unless u need to for plot development and for them to ~play~ the character and the game ! but honestly, it’s fun for everyone if NOBODY knows who did it, including the one who did it !
WATCH AND READ MURDER MYSTERIES !!! - there are some really really good ones out there ! desperate housewives, KNIVES OUT, prisoners, the first season of pretty little liars, veronica mars, one of us is lying, a good girls guide to murder , sadie,  . . these are all bits of media that have done FANTASTIC jobs at creating characters and a really well-driven and developed  mystery plot!
CREATE STRONG CHARACTERS - this goes without saying for any rp, but i think this is especially important for murder mystery rps which is why i lean towards having SKELETONS for these type of rps. give them bones, and a trope. make them all as different as you can . think about characters that work well in other murder mysteries and try to mimic what makes them so good and strong, and what they can PROVIDE to the murder mystery . is one of them a reporter ? an ex best friend ? a nancy-drew sort of character ? they should be !!! they should all have a clear PURPOSE in the rp , don’t just give them a label like ‘the peacemaker’ and call it a day. what is their purpose ? what do they serve by being in the rp, and why do you NEED them in order for the rp to work ? ( and u SHOULD need them ! ideally, u should need every skeleton taken, right ?!)
THINK OF PLOT DROPS AND EVENTS, AND ASK MEMBERS TO CONTRIBUTE IDEAS TOO  - these should all keep the same sort of aesthetic as having something spooky or mysterious to them . a haunted halloween night. a spooky festival. a power outage at school. a piece of evidence found by one of the characters . somebody finding out who the murderer could be, and then getting into an  ‘ accident ‘. this type of rp is PLOT HEAVY and events and plot drops should absolutely be something you already have in mind and know when are going to happen and WHAT the main event of them happening will be !
CREATE THREATS AND A ‘SCARE FACTOR’ - it should start light and easy , in some degree. the rp should start with everyone thinking their character is going to be safe. lull everyone into a false sense of security, and then show that nobody is safe. either by having an anonymous blogger, or gossip blog make blasts, or by hurting one of the characters who keeps sticking their nose in. you should have people in the rp seriously realise that there will be consequences for their characters actions , bc lets be real .. if ur a killer and someone is purposely goading u or trying to Solve the Crime .. ur gonna be pissed and want to Eliminate them !
HAVE A GOOD SETTING -  honestly, setting in murder mystery rps is SO MUCH FUN and is what can make a rp so unique ! is it a small town, therefore the murder ROCKED the entire town to their shells bc everyone knows everyone and WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING ??  is it a homely city, that was previously thought of as being very safe and ideal, until this horrible crime happened ? is it a grungey neo-noir city, that has a lot of crime, but THIS crime was ‘ particularly heinous ‘, or maybe the work of a notorious serial killer ? think of a location. think of a setting. this is IMPORTANT to the rp and to drawing people’s interests in ! 
CREATE CONNECTIONS - how does skeleton a know skeleton b ? who trusts who ? who DOESN’T trust who ? who thinks who did it ? who thinks who is innocent ? ideally, every character should have an impression of the next. this create a more tight-knit feeling within the rp, both ic and ooc, because EVERYONE knows everyone and has a basic ‘first impression’. you don’t have to write all of these or provide them for every skeleton, but i think its important to try and write a couple at least, so everyone finds it a bit easier to plot and reach out to different people !
ENCOURAGE SECRETS AND LIES  - this goes without saying. i think its fun to have each character have a ‘secret’ or ‘something they’re not telling the police’. i find this makes for more in character development and activity !!! again, u can let ppl think of their own, or u can assign one if u want ! but basically, this rp should be filled with no ‘good’ characters and no ‘bad characters’. everyone should have equal amounts of flaws, and advantages. 
MAKE THE KILLER STRIKE MORE THAN ONCE - so the killer most likely strikes once at the ‘beginning’ of the rp, or just before the rp opens, to kick things off. but then . . don’t forget about them ! its very common for someone to strike twice . they can kill a npc, or .. maybe somebody doesnt mind throwing their character in to be Axed, but honestly . . the killer should and will strike again , and this should help keep everyone on their toes, ic and ooc, too !!!
WRITE ABOUT THE KILLER IN YOUR PLOT - its a murder mystery . it’s horror. so. talk about the killer, without giving away their identity. give hints as to who it could be . tell us what their relationship was to the deceased. tell us how they killed that person. was it a crime of passion ? a crime of hate ? an ACCIDENT ??? how did they feel after they’d realised what they’d done ? what happened that night/day/morning ???
this is all i can think of right now, and i hope it helps!!! whatever u come up with will be AMAZING i bet. as a nerd of murder mysteries, i rlly enjoyed answering this and if u need any more advice or help . let me know !!! good luck, and make sure to link me when ur good to go !! i can’t WAIT to see it !!
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amphtaminedreams · 4 years
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Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films
Hi to anyone reading,
I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.
I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.
This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live! 
I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.
So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)
God Tier
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Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)
Knives Out. What a film.
I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.
But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.
Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details. 
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Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)
There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too. 
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Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)
Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get. 
The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.
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Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)
So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?
IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.
The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)
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I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection. 
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Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)
I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend! 
Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?
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Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)
Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end. 
Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again. 
Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!
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Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)
So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst. 
Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.
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Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)
Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?
Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.
SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline. 
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Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts. 
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Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)
I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.
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American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)
My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state. 
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Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)
I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.
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The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)
Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors. 
Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.
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Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)
If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.
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The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)
This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?
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The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)
For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them. 
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Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)
Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!
ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.
Good Tier
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Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)
Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.
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Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)
So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.
I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit. 
Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy. 
How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that. 
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Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)
Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative. 
There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying. 
I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film
I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?
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It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)
Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).
It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role. 
Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.
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Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)
So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion.  This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.
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Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)
You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.
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Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)
Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work. 
The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.
All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic. 
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On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)
I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.
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If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)
EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold. 
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Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)
So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.
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Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)
The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content. 
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The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)
I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.
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Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)
So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates. 
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First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)
A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.
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The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)
I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.
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As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)
I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that 
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Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)
Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated. 
Mid Tier
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Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)
I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.
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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)
I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.
Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so. 
Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.
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Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)
I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?
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Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)
In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.
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Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)
There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.
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Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)
What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.
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Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)
There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.
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Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)
It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.
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Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)
So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.
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Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)
I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can’t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing. 
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Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)
The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.
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The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)
So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all. 
Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals. 
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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)
Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?
Also.
SO. MANY. FEET.
But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:
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Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)
I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?
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Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)
I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?
Shit Tier
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Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)
First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films. 
It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?
I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.
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Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)
The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.
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The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)
Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board. 
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Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)
Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.
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It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)
I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.
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Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)
Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo
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Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)
I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.
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This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.
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Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)
Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too. 
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Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)
So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.
The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.
ANYWAY.
I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!
With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check. 
But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!
Lauren x
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introvertguide · 4 years
Text
Sunset Boulevard (1950); AFI #16
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The next film on our AFI list is the film noir drama Sunset Blvd. (1950). This movie was directed and part written by Billie Wilder. It was nominated for all of the acting categories, best director, and best picture...but won none of them. The movie was up for 11 Oscars but only received technical awards because of the very stiff competition that year from the likes of All About Eve, The Third Man, and Harvey. This film is often called the best movie about Hollywood ever written because it bravely looks at the life of a star and how they can be chewed up and spit out of the system when they get too old. This is not an aspect of movie stardom that Hollywood generally likes to advertise, so it is not surprising that this film was not as recognized. I would like to go over the plot before further discussion, so...
YOU KNOW THE DRILL! PREPARE FOR SPOILERS! THIS IS A MYSTERY SO DON’T READ FURTHER UNTIL YOU SEE THE FILM!
At a mansion on Sunset Boulevard, the body of Joe Gillis (William Holden) floats in the swimming pool. Long before it was done in American Beauty, the movie is narrated through a post mortem flashback of the main character.
Six months earlier, down-on-his-luck screenwriter Joe tries selling a story to Paramount Pictures.  Producer Sheldrake (Fred Clarke) is somewhat interested but looks to the advice of a script reader that walks in on the conversation. The woman who comes in is Betty Schaefer (Nancy Olson) and she harshly critiques the script, unaware that Joe is the writer. There is some awkward banter and Joe leaves in a huff. He is driving home and sees some repossession men seeking his car, so he flees only to barely escape by turning into the driveway of a seemingly deserted mansion. After concealing the car, he hears a woman inside call to him, mistaking him for someone else. Ushered in by Max the butler (Erich von Stroheim) , Joe recognizes the woman as long-forgotten silent film star Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson). She seems to believe that Joe is bringing a coffin for her dead monkey (that is not a typo), but becomes interested when she learns that Joe is a writer. Norma asks his opinion of a script she has written for a film about Salome, which she plans to play the role herself in a return to the screen. Joe finds her script abysmal, but flatters her into hiring him as a script doctor for enough money to buy back his car.
Norma insists that Joe move in and she has Max secretly get all of Joe’s things and move him in. Joe resents this but gradually accepts his situation as her boy toy because Norma is psychologically fragile. He sees that Norma refuses to face the fact that her fame has evaporated and learns that the fan letters she still receives are secretly written by Max, who explains that he has had to hide all of the knives and remove all locks on the doors as Norma has attempted suicide. Norma lavishes attention on Joe and buys him expensive clothes. At her New Year's Eve party, he discovers that he is the only guest and realizes she has fallen in love with him. Joe tries to let her down gently, but Norma slaps him and retreats to her room. Joe visits his friend Artie Green to ask about staying at his place. At Artie's party he again meets Betty, whom he learns is Artie's girl. Betty thinks a scene in one of Joe's scripts has potential, but Joe is uninterested. When he phones Max to have him pack his things, Max tells him Norma cut her wrists with his razor.  
Norma has Max deliver the edited Salome script to her former director Cecil B. DeMille at Paramount. She starts getting calls from Paramount executive Gordon Cole, but petulantly refuses to speak to anyone except DeMille. Eventually, she has Max drive her and Joe to Paramount in her 1929 Isotta Fraschini. The older studio employees recognize her and warmly greet her. DeMille receives her affectionately and treats her with great respect, tactfully evading her questions about her script. Meanwhile, Max learns that Cole merely wants to rent her unusual car for a film.
Preparing for her imagined comeback, Norma undergoes rigorous beauty treatments. Joe secretly works nights at Betty's Paramount office, collaborating on an original screenplay. His moonlighting is found out by Max, who reveals that he was a respected film director, discovered Norma as a teenage girl, made her a star and was her first husband. After she divorced him, he found life without her unbearable and abandoned his career to become her servant. Meanwhile, despite Betty's engagement to Artie, she and Joe fall in love. After Norma discovers a manuscript with Joe's and Betty's names on it, she phones Betty and insinuates what sort of man Joe really is. Joe, overhearing, invites Betty to come see for herself. When she arrives, he pretends he is satisfied being a gigolo, but after she tearfully leaves he packs for a return to his old Ohio newspaper job. He bluntly informs Norma there will be no comeback, her fan mail comes from Max, and she has been forgotten. He disregards Norma's threat to kill herself and the gun she shows him to back it up. As Joe walks out of the house, Norma shoots him three times and he falls into the pool.
The flashback ends. The house is filled with police and reporters. Norma, having lost touch with reality, believes the newsreel cameras are there to film Salome. Max and the police play along. Max sets up a scene for her and calls, "Action!" As the cameras roll, Norma dramatically descends her grand staircase. She pauses and makes an impromptu speech about how happy she is to be making a film again, ending with, "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." as she makes a series of exaggerated swooping steps towards the camera, an equally exaggerated 'come-hither' expression upon her face. 
Gloria Swanson was in fact a silent film star that was having difficulty finding work. She was very well aware that the part was poking fun at people like herself and old Hollywood in general. She had worked with Cecil B. DeMille and he was happy to be part of the production for the right price. He was paid $20,000 for his cameo, which says that even he was glad to get work but still expected full price for his participation.
As mentioned in the recap, the idea of the post mortem narrator was taken full on by American Beauty. Arguably, so was the idea of somebody dealing with their growing irrelevance as they age. But it is fantastic that the movie can reveal the end result in the opening scene and yet there is still tension and it can act as a whodunnit. It becomes a question of who is going to kill Joe. The jealous butler/director/ex-husband? The crazy out of touch actress? The confused new girl? Artie the spurned fiancée? The repo men? Or maybe a distraught Joe takes his own life? As mentioned it was Norma, but I legitimately did not know the first time I watched the film and it was great.
Some more recent critics have not been kind to the acting of Gloria Swanson because she overacts to the point of camp. Yet that is exactly what you would expect from an emotionally fragile, silent film era actress that was once the biggest star and had lost her fame. She is a total drama queen and that is appropriately so. The reason that it works is that people point it out and she seems weird next to the other actors. She is like the character of Ms. Havisham in Great Expectations, but instead of tempting Pip with the love of Estella, she tries to do it herself. One part hilarious, but three parts absolutely fascinating. 
There is quite a bit of dark humor in this movie and much of it is through the campy acting of Swanson. I am glad to say that she owns it and doesn’t back away at all. There is a scene where she puts on a Charlie Chaplin outfit and attempts to entertain Joe. Also, the entertainment of the evening was watching her old silent movies and she reacts emotionally to her own portrayals. It is fantastic. I think my favorite part is that she thinks that Cecil B. DeMille is trying to get her back for a part and it turns out that an AP simply wants to use her car. 
So should this movie be on the AFI list? Without a doubt. It is brilliant mystery that takes a deep look at the downside of stardom. It was so accurate and appealing that the Academy had to take note despite likely not wanting to. It was one of the first movies to examine the fragility of an actor’s ego. It also has some of the very best single lines in cinema history. Would I recommend it? Absolutely. It might not interest younger viewers and the strange gigolo implications might not be appreciated by all, but it is a pretty fun (and funny) movie that find enjoyable every time. Well worth a watch. 
Side Note: There is a monkey burial scene when Joe first arrives and it might one of the strangest and funniest scenes in cinema. I just wonder...why did she have a monkey and how long did she keep the dead body before the burial? Yet another reason to check out the movie.
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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years
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KNIVES OUT: Ed’s Very Important Thoughts on Rian Johnson’s Amazing Whodunit Comedy
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Where do I even begin with the latest film from Rian Johnson (his fifth!) and his first original movie since making Looper in 2012? You may already know a few things like the fact that it’s a whodunit featuring a stunning ensemble cast, and you might surmise how funny it is from the trailers, but there’s a whole lot more!
Acclaimed mystery writer Harlan Thornby (Christopher Plummer) has been found dead on the evening of his 85th birthday party. Every single person in his family has a reason or motive for wanting poor (or rather, very wealthy) Harlan dead, and they’ve already been glomming off his fortune for decades. His son Walt (Michael Shannon) has wanted his father to allow his books to be adapted to other mediums, his daughter Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis) loves him but has a husband (Don Johnson) and son Ransom (Chris Evans) who are slightly more cutthroat. There’s also Harlan’s nurse Marta (Ana de Armas), the last to see him alive and also his closest companion. Gentleman detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) has arrived on the scene to help decipher what exactly happened to Harlan, something that gets even more complicated after the will-reading.
The above is a fairly simplified version of the plot of Knives Out, because knowing any more about the movie going in would surely take away from one’s enjoyment, which seems to be an ongoing theme of most movies these days. It’s particularly true of Johnson’s latest original script, but it also means that I can’t get into the detailed nitty gritty of why the script and resulting film is so brilliant, bordering on absolute genius.
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I will say that if you’ve watched a lot of whodunnits, many of them derived from classic works of mystery, like that of Agatha Christie, then you might go into Knives Out thinking you’ll know exactly what to expect. Even more recent derivations like Who’s Next and Ready or Not, which take some of the ideas of a squabbling family reuniting to violent extremes, don’t have quite a knowledge of why movies like Murder on the Orient Express or Death on the Nile (the original ones!) worked so well. What makes Knives Out so perfect begins and ends with Johnson’s screenplay but extends to all aspects of his filmmaking team.
The cast is just incredible:   Don Johnson, Michael Shannon, Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Collette and Christopher Plummer, and on and on, each of them getting their moment to shine as they sit down with Blanc, but it’s Ana de Armas who is particularly great as the one true hero of the film, the one person who clearly cares for Harlan but has the most to lose if she’s suspected of foul play. (I hope that’s vague enough to not be deemed a spoiler.)
I wasn’t too crazy about Daniel Craig’s Southern drawl when he did one in Steven Soderbergh’s Logan Lucky, but he seems to have perfected the Cajun(ish) accent for Benoit Blanc, a character so well written it allows Craig to really push his comedic muscles in ways we haven’t really seen before. Shannon and Collette are great as always, but Don Johnson is one of the pleasant surprises as he seems to be having a bit of a Renaissance between this and HBO’s Watchmen. Still, it’s when Chris Evans’s Ransom bursts back into the second half of the movie, just in time for the reading of Harlan’s will,  where everything starts to go complete bonkers.
Once Chris Evans becomes a bigger part of the story roughly an hour into the movie, it becomes something quite different, but his character Ransom is just so full of surprises, from his utter anger towards the rest of his family to how nice he is to Marta, who is not dealing with Blanc’s investigation quite as readily as Thornby’s actual family.
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Knives Out is one of those too-rare movies where everyone involved is doing some of their best work, and it feels like every part of Johnson’s crew – many of whom have worked with him since his debut Brick – are firing on all cylinders. This includes cousin Nathan Johnson, whose orchestral score is so glorious and so different from everything else he’s brought to Johnson’s films. Every single person involved with Knives Out down to the caterers should be proud of what they’ve accomplished.
Without fear of hyperbole, Knives Out is one of the funniest movies this year, but it’s also a genius bit of writing and filmmaking we don’t get to see as often as most critics would like. There’s just an incredible amount of replay value in rewatching this film. I’ve seen it twice and I’m sure I’ll see it again.
Rating: 9 out of 10
Knives Out opens on Wednesday, November 27 with previews on Thursday night.
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