under-amethyst-moons

[under-amethyst-moons]

The reason why millennials and gen z think that 30 is ‘old’ and that we may as well crawl up and die by the time we hit that age is because the vast majority of us have spent our teenage years and adulthoods, even some of our childhoods, convinced that we would kill ourselves by the time we turned 18 — no later than 25 — because we are the first generations to have to deal with so much of the damage and aftermath that the previous generations left for us. Plus, we are the part of the first generations to now have to adjust our nature as human beings to revolve around that of technology, and we have been constantly bombarded with all of the tragedies around the world all at once and with no hope in sight, upon the other devastating consequences of our world and civilization as a whole.

This has all left us hopeless, apathetic, depressed, and suicidal as fuck. So we’ve always had this, “fuck it, I’m not gonna live to see 25 or 30 anyway, because this world is so miserable that I’ll be dead by then. Either by suicide, or global warming, or a nuclear war, a drug overdose, or getting killed by the police,” and so on and so forth mindset.

But what we didn’t realize is that the vast majority of human beings can’t actually bring ourselves to commit suicide, because the most basic human instinct is to survive, no matter how much we want to die or don’t even see the point in living in such a shit world that always seems to be ending with every single news update and trending hashtag. And, while our planet is surely suffering immensely from shit like global warming and wars and shit, capitalism is so fucking ruthless that it’s made us all just normalize this shit so that we can continue to work our lives away in the midst of all of this disaster and tragedy.

So when ‘kids these days’ say something stupid about how age 30 and older literally may as well be ancient, it’s because we sincerely spent our entire lives thinking that we were gonna die by the time we reached this age. And when we do reach this age, we feel like we’ve not only wasted so much of our lives because we thought that our clocks only had but a fraction of the time that we naturally do and were ticking down fast, but whatever time that we still do have on this earth is very little — given that middle age for humans is technically age 37, if we’re lucky.

And on top of that, we’re taught, like everyone else, that we may as well have no value in life if we haven’t accomplished certain things by certain ages. But how can we be expected to move out in our early 20’s, marry and have kids by our late 20’s/early 30’s, get a mortgage, finish school, and have your entire career and shit in order in a ‘timely manner’ when you deadass thought that you’d be blowing your brain matter all over your walls by the time you hit 18 — ever since you were 8?

[under-amethyst-moons]

to all the people who are absolutely not seeing the content they followed me for - you're welcome

[under-amethyst-moons]

I've been tagged again by @another-art-studentt

Last song: Tori Amos — Silent All These Years

Last film: Before Sunrise

Craving: To start living

Last research: Nutmeg taste

Not tagging anyone, if you see this you must participate

[under-amethyst-moons]

Well apparently it won't be my last, i lived bitch

This is my music, the last I make.

Eulelier — And then the rain stopped

The sky dissolved away

And I saw there's nothing underneath.

Now the Moon has birthed flowers.

This is the last night of the world.

You will soon see that the quiet

Is the beginning of something new.

eulelier.bandcamp.com/album/and-then-the-rain-stopped

[under-amethyst-moons]

This is my music, the last I make.

Eulelier — And then the rain stopped

The sky dissolved away

And I saw there's nothing underneath.

Now the Moon has birthed flowers.

This is the last night of the world.

You will soon see that the quiet

Is the beginning of something new.

eulelier.bandcamp.com/album/and-then-the-rain-stopped

#dark acamedia #music #fragments #own music #own writing

[under-amethyst-moons]

hello, I've been tagged by @a-music-undergrad in a tag game too long ago, but did not notice because i was in a sensory deprivation tank for three months, but im gonna deliver anyway.

i am not tagging anyone because i don't talk to anyone else here, but if you wish you are free to participate and then tag nine people you would like to know better.

three ships: HMS Cockchafer, Oriskany, Intrepid. no, sorry. i never really shipped any non-canon couples because i don't ever mind canon, and i can't see a reason to ship canon, i mean, it's already there. but i loved Fitzsimmons back in the day.

last song: A Perfect Circle — "Orestes". or if you count any music including classical pieces, then Steve Reich — "Music for 18 musicians".

last movie: just watched "Annihilation".

currently reading: "Of Human Bondage" by Somerset Maugham, it's so onerous, i might just abandon it.

currently watching: well i've started a few shows recently, such as Breaking Bad, or Serial Experiments Lain, but never got interested enough to continue.

currently consuming: fiberglass.

currently craving: to finally get over with all the academic work that's overdue. also an omelette

[under-amethyst-moons]

Oh Madonna, hold me.// I am a small handful.

— Anne Sexton, from "The Death Baby: 3. Seven Times"

#dark acamedia #fragments #words #literature #poetry #poem #anne sexton #confessional poetry #poetry quotes #mother mary #religion

[under-amethyst-moons]

Anne,// who were you?// Merely a kid keeping alive.

— Anne Sexton, from "Baby Picture"

#dark acamedia #fragments #words #literature #poetry #poem #anne sexton #confessional poetry #poetry quotes #childhood #past

[under-amethyst-moons]

I want heaven to descend and sit on My dinner plate// and so do you.// I want God to put His steaming arms around Me// and so do you.// Because we need.// Because we are sore creatures.

— Anne Sexton, from "The Jesus Papers: Jesus dies"

#dark acamedia #fragments #words #literature #poetry #poem #anne sexton #confessional poetry #poetry quotes #religion

[under-amethyst-moons]

He was ready to unburden himself with the words so that someone could break the knots that bound his chest, but he only managed to let out a fluid, warm, and restorative weeping in Pilar Ternera's lap. She let him finish, scratching his head with the tips of her fingers, and without his having revealed that he was weeping from love, she recognized immediately the oldest sobs in the history of man.

— Gabriel García Márquez, from "One Hundred Years of Solitude"

#dark acamedia #fragments #words #literature #translated literature #literary quotes #solitude #one hundred years of solitude #gabriel garcia marquez #spanish literature #aureliano

[under-amethyst-moons]

And you, you fade out of sight// like a lost signalman// wagging his lantern// for the train that comes no more.

— Anne Sexton, from "The death of the fathers: 4. Santa"

#dark acamedia #words #fragments #literature #poem #poetry #poetry quotes #confessional poetry #anne sexton #forgotten

[under-amethyst-moons]

Then I laughed and then we laughed// and let me take note —// there was a death,// the death of childhood// there at the Union Oyster House// for I was fifteen// and eating oysters// and the child was defeated.// The woman won.

— Anne Sexton, from "The death of the fathers: 1. Oysters"

#dark acamedia #words #fragments #literature #poem #poetry #poetry quotes #confessional poetry #anne sexton #childhood #death of childhood

[under-amethyst-moons]

At the end, Colonel Gerineldo Màrquez looked at the desolate streets, the crystal water on the almond trees, and he found himself lost in solitude.

"Aureliano," he said sadly on the key, "it's raining in Macondo."

— Gabriel García Márquez, from "One Hundred Years of Solitude"

#dark acamedia #words #fragments #literature #translated literature #literary quotes #one hundred years of solitude #aureliano #rain #spanish literature #solitude

[under-amethyst-moons]

New Year check-list

#new year #new year resolutions #new year plans #new year challenge

[under-amethyst-moons]

I've been awhile wading in your quotations and art and enjoying your aesthetic so much i need a nap. Did you ever find a page and think "can I just copy and paste this entire onto mine?" I feel that way about yours. Going to buy a book of Anne Sexton now because I never knew (shame for a kid who was hand-fed books of Kabir and Lorca by old uncle Bly). And I'd never read Bernstein on Mahler 9 (shame for a conservatory trained musician!).

I hope the semester was wonderful to you.

oh god, thank you very much. i'm so glad something i've created matters. you absolutely may reblog my every post, i won't mind at all! i promise i will resume posting on the winter break. this Anne Sexton book i have is forty years old, i got it second(probably more)-hand but still haven't finished it. and i have loved Lorca for a long time, i'm even playing one of his songs for my finals. this semester has definitely passed, and it wasn't too bad, i had my last exam yesterday, and today i got home, not without trouble of course. thank you and happy oncoming new year!

#ask

[under-amethyst-moons]

The other day I stepped outside and smelled the winter air soaked in the feeling of three previous winters, and I wanted to cry. And it's not even winter yet.

#dark acamedia #words #winter #sentimental #feelings #own writing #writing

[under-amethyst-moons]

Hello. good morning. will anyone think this "off-topic" message worth their attention? how have you been? you singular. i haven't posted anything for several months, because college has started and is taking up a lot of time, naturally, and i could not find motivation. also life has a tendency to happen. you can comment something. i am curious in how many people will notice this, because on other social media people barely notice my posts lately, tumblr might be different. what time is it in your moment of life?