yesmelaninvibes

[yesmelaninvibes]

[yesmelaninvibes]

How to financially help BLM with NO MONEY/leaving your house (Invest in the future for free) 

If you want to donate to the movement but are low on funds, play this! Make sure you play all the ads, don’t mute the volume and temporarily disable ad blocker. 100% of the revenue generated from the ads will be donated to BLM organizations.

#blacklivesmatter #melanin #blm

[yesmelaninvibes]

Professionalism

In general, people of color often have to work 10 times harder than their white counterparts for recognition, promotions, and respect.  Black women have it especially hard because we not only have to work harder but we have to make sure we present ourselves in a professional manner at all times. Meaning we have to think twice before rocking our natural hairstyles in most professional spaces or make sure our clothing isn’t too revealing of our natural curves.  We have to think twice about standing up for ourselves due to fear of being perceived as “the angry black women” or a bitch. And don’t get me started on code-switching. Code-switching is the practice of alternating between two or more languages or varieties of language in a conversation.  I have three ways of speaking - my professional language in person, my professional tone over the phone, and then my real language when I’m not at the office.  I have to constantly think of what and how I’m going to say something at work because I use a lot of black slang at home and I don’t think that language would translate well in my work environment.  Plus, it drives me insane when people steal my catchphrases or style and make it their own without giving proper credit.  But honestly black people have had their aesthetic stolen and manipulated for years so I really shouldn’t be surprised when it happens to me. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?  

I will never forget the time when my first boss in high school basically told me he didn’t like my hair.  For as long as I can remember I’ve gotten braids in my hair, especially during summer.  Black women everywhere know that getting braids is so much easier to deal with when you’re extremely busy or traveling a lot.  Plus, when done correctly, braids protect your natural hair and help with growth.  One thing black women care deeply about is their hair!!  Anyway, I had spent HOURS getting micro individual braids installed in my hair.  I’m talking 12 hours of sitting on my ass, getting tiny braids attached to my scalp.  When I walked into work the next day, my boss looked at me and said: “what did you do to your hair!?”  I was so confused,  I was like... “I got it done.”  He sighed and shook his head and had the AUDACITY to say “I like it better when women have their natural hair” and if you could have seen the look on his face...He did all of this in front of other employees and made me feel so small. Sir, did I ask for your opinion??? Is there a policy that says I can’t have braids in my hair??? Looking back, he was being extremely rude and unnecessary.  Luckily, I didn’t let that affect me for too long because I continued getting braids and eventually went natural. I’m sure he would have had a cow if I would have gone into work rocking my afro puff!! Women of color experience this type of harassment on a daily and if we want to keep our jobs, we often suffer in silence. It’s not fair! And even after we meet all of the standards set up by white professionals, we still aren’t being recognized for the hard work we do.

I didn’t get into the interpersonal violence movement for recognition. I joined this movement because I enjoy helping others and as a woman of color, I’ve witnessed the disparities people of color face when it comes to reporting violence and being believed.  I want to represent other women of color and provide a safe space for my brothers and sisters to receive the support and care they deserve. Nonetheless, sometimes being recognized for your good work helps you confirm that you are on the right track.  I work my ass off and I will continue to do so because I was raised around women who have strong work ethics and take no bullshit, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the lack of recognition from my white counterparts has gotten to me in the past.  One day I got to a point where I couldn’t let it get to me anymore so I sought out spaces where I would be seen and appreciated for who I am and what I bring to the table.  Being a part of these spaces has truly opened my eyes to some of the bullshit people of color experience! Many women of color don’t have the support that I do so they end up leaving jobs that they cried and prayed for all because they feel undervalued and unappreciated. Organizations are losing valuable staff members of color every day because they aren’t allowing them to be themselves or appreciating the hard work and dedication they offer.  Black people are some of the hardest working people you will ever meet and any educated, hardworking black person that is hired to an organization is an asset and should be treated as such.  

Now I’m not saying that people of color should receive special treatment. Obviously, there are some black individuals out in the world who have a terrible work ethic but if you’re pushing these individuals to do more but allowing their white counterparts, who are giving the exact efforts skate on by, then there’s a huge problem that needs to be addressed. All I’m saying is people of color should receive recognition for their work just like everyone else. Making up excuses like “you’re unapproachable” or “you’re not living up to the organization's standards” are cop-outs especially when you have people within the organization who are doing the bare minimum but are never pushed to do more or they’re being promoted to higher positions. It’s not right and it’s certainly not fair.  Organizations need to make sure they’re adequately recognizing ALL employees for their good work and not letting individuals who are doing the bare minimum skate on by without any expectations for them to do better. <3

#blog #blackgirlmagic #professionialism #interpersonal violence movement #work ethic #code switching #LEAP #WV #blogging #women of color #WomenofColor #audacity

[yesmelaninvibes]

“You don’t destroy people you care about. That’s not how it works, that should never be an option. Choose laughter. Choose peace. Choose love.”

— R.M. Drake

[yesmelaninvibes]

Check out this podcast I’ve been working on! :)

[yesmelaninvibes]

COVID-19 & African-Americans

African-Americans are more likely to die from COVID-19 than any other race.  Shocker.  African Americans have been getting the short end of the deal in the US for years now so when I heard about this I wasn’t surprised.  Disappointed? Always. But surprised? Never. There are quite a few reasons as to why we are dying more from the virus than any other race.  Most of us hold essential jobs meaning we have no choice but to work.  COVID-19 is highly contagious, even without symptoms being present.  Plus, a lot of people aren’t taking this thing seriously.  People of color of more likely to hold essential jobs, so we’ve been exposed to this virus for months now!  This leads me to my next reasoning - once African Americans contract COVID-19 and seek medical attention, they aren’t being taken seriously and they aren’t receiving proper treatment.  Historically people of color, particularly women of color, have not been treated fairly by medical professionals.  For some strange reason, medical professionals think that African American people have a higher pain threshold.  Actually, the reason isn’t strange.  That way of thinking dates back to slave times when we were only seen as property, so we weren’t viewed as beings who could feel pain.  It makes me incredibly sad to think that some people lost their fight to this virus just for the simple fact that they weren’t provided the proper medical treatment or believed at all. I cannot ignore the fact that African American’s have a high number of underlying health conditions floating around our community so that could be another reason why we are losing our fight to this virus in high numbers.  So, what can we do about this?  We continue demanding our voices be heard and our rights respected.  If you are showing symptoms of the virus, demand testing!  We have to stand up for ourselves and advocate for the care we need and deserve!  It’s unfair that we have to put in more effort than our white counterparts but you know what, it is what it is!  If you’re an essential worker and have no choice but to work, take every necessary precaution possible to avoid bringing the virus home to your family.  Wear masks and gloved, wash your hands consistently, stay away from virus hotspots in your community, shower and change your clothing as soon as you get home, and most importantly, if you feel sick or are showing the symptoms, STAY HOME. <3

#blogging #COVID-19 #STAY HOME #melanin #blackgirlmagic #African Americans #medical discrimination #black girls blog #medicine #WV #West Virginia #united state #USA #healthcare #essential workers of color

[yesmelaninvibes]

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[yesmelaninvibes]

No excuses

This whole coronavirus scare and social distancing has got me on edge. I’m a homebody and avoid social contact because of anxiety so you’d think I’d feel right at home.  But I don’t.  The idea of being confined to my house for an unspecified amount of time has me shook.  This reminds me of an extended snow day except there’s no clear end in sight.  It’s crazy how when you’re forced to do things we’d usually do with our own free will, we’re suddenly opposed to it.  However, one benefit of social distancing is that I now have the opportunity to work on some goals and activities that I never have the time to work on.  But this is where discipline comes into play and that is definitely one of my weaknesses. I feel that this social isolation will either push me out of my comfort zone and force me to do things I would never do, OR I’ll end up disappointed in myself because I accomplished nothing.  We shall see, I really hope I don’t end up feeling like the latter. I just need to stay out of my head and not fall into old habits.  I got this. I’m strong and capable. No excuses. <3

#cornavirus #social isolation #social distancing #blackgirlmagic #free will #blogging #blog #new blog #melanin #educated black girl #discipline #black girls rock #no excuses

[yesmelaninvibes]

20 Practical Meditation Tips for Beginners https://ift.tt/2PQWMiq

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[yesmelaninvibes]

LEAP

Back in 2018, I was provided a scholarship from the West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence to attend the Women of Color Network Call to Action Conference in St. Pete Florida and that experience forever changed me.  We broke off into sessions where only women of color could attend.  The energy in that room was overwhelming.  I’ll admit, I definitely broke down because of some of the experiences that my brothers and sisters were sharing really resonated with me and validated some of my feelings.  People of color have had to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders for centuries and are expected to not complain or say anything about it.  Generational trauma is REAL, and you could feel the pain in the room.  But you could also feel the love and togetherness.  We had each other’s backs and it was beautiful. One of my favorite activities was when we gathered in a huge circle and held hands.  We connected, and it was so powerful.  I can’t remember everything that took place during this activity, but I recall some sage being burned, some special essential oil being shared and blessings being made. I don’t think my words could explain how beautiful this experience was for me.  You had to be there to understand.  But attending this conference energized me.  Especially since this was around the time that I was nominated and voted in as the Secretary of the Berkeley County National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), so I was feeling powerful in my blackness.

I am sharing this because this experience led me to apply for the Leadership, Education, and Advancement for Professionals (LEAP) Program sponsored by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault and the Women of Color Network.  This fellowship is a year-long program where leaders of color in the interpersonal violence movement come together to learn or enhance skills revolving around leadership and executive positions within non-profit organizations.  When I applied for this fellowship, I was feeling extremely lost in my current position.  I was questioning if this was the right career for me.  I was just in a really low place.  Getting accepted into this fellowship was a sign that I am in the right career field.  I”m probably not in the right city to really showcase my skills, but I’m definitely in the right career.  Helping people is something I’ve always been good at and I’ve always been a natural leader.  All I can say is when something is meant for you, the universe will make sure you know it.  I’ve learned so much about myself while being a part of this fellowship and I have this new confidence when it comes to my career that no one can ever take away from me. I know I’m going to run my own non-profit organization one day.  I can feel it in my bones!  This fellowship is really forcing me to step outside of my comfort zone because we have to blog (which is what encouraged me to start this one), do a podcast (stay tuned for that), and facilitate 3 community training or workshop sessions to people of color.  I’m nervous but excited to finally put myself out into the community and showcase the skills that I’ve gained since joining this program. I am blessed to be apart of this experience and to have a beautiful network of people from all over the country who hear and see me, and I see them.  I’ve met so many inspiring people and had so many uplifting conversations.  I don’t know where I would be today if it weren’t for that program. It’s helped me realize my self-worth and to not settle for anything less than what I deserve.  Safe spaces are out there for you.  YOu just have to open your eyes and take a chance.  I’m learning every day to be vulnerable and to take risks because I will not grow if I never step outside of my comfort zone. <3

#blackgirlmagic #new blog #blogging #self-care #self-love #womenofcolor #LEAP #CALCASA #WOCN #NAACP #WVCADV #west virginia

[yesmelaninvibes]

[yesmelaninvibes]

Intro

Blogging isn’t something new to me.  I currently make video blogs after long-draining days to keep from posting all over social media or taking things out on other people (these are kept private).  All through high school and college, I regularly updated a separate tumblr account with a whole crazy mess of things - my favorite bands, funny memes and quotes that resonated with me and whatever I was going through at the moment.  This blog is going to be different.  I’m actually going to write things and express myself! WOW what a concept! But seriously, I really struggle with expressing myself and sharing my thoughts, especially since I don’t have the best grammar and I’m a crazy perfectionist when it comes to my written work.  UGH.  

But here’s some background on why I am the way I am:  I was conditioned at a young age to put other people’s needs before my own.  I was the oldest of 3 children in my household and was raised by a single mother.  I have an older brother but I didn’t get the chance to grow up with him (which definitely had an impact on the way my mom chose to raise us).  My older brother grew up with his father’s side of the family, and I often thought about how different things could’ve been if he just lived with us.  I was so over being the oldest child and having all the responsibility put on me, even though my sister was only 2 years younger than me, so it would have been nice to have someone older than me to take the brunt of everything.  Looking back, him living with us would have made things a lot harder financially but I think my mom would have been in a better place emotionally had all 4 of her kids lived with her...  Anyway, I had to pick up A LOT of slack in my household and I still do today. I spent my whole life helping others that I really failed to help myself.  After a while though, that gets extremely old and tiring.

I feel like I’m going through a tough identify crisis at the moment and it’s been rough.  A friend of mine told me back in 2019 before I turned 27 that something major is going to happen during my 27th year that will change the course of my life forever. I’m at a point where I’m FINALLY going to move out of my mom’s house and I’m also considering a job change.  Oh, and I can’t forget that I’ve applied for grad school! Yep, I’m finally going back!!! I’m not going to go into any more detail until I get that acceptance letter. But this is a season of a lot of change for me and it’s definitely unnerving and hard when you’re struggling to figure out who you really are...

So I am dedicating the rest of 2020 (let’s just forget the first 2 months even happened) to MYSELF, self-care, and SELF-LOVE.  This is long overdue.  I feel like I say “I’m going to put myself first” often and I try, I really do.  But something I really struggle with is consistency.  I can go a good week, even two, following a new diet, meditating, or working out but then something always happens.  I’ll give myself an excuse to not properly take care of myself (wow typing that out just made me cringe.  Like why wouldn’t I want to properly take care of myself!?) OR something emotionally draining will happen and then BOOM, I’m right back to my bad habits. It never fails.  But that’s something that comes from always putting other people before myself. I’m not used to making myself a priority and taking care of myself in ways that are good for me so it’s going to be hard to change my thinking and it’s going to be hard to get into that mindset.  But if I want to be happy, healthy and ultimately SUCCESSFUL, I have to make myself a priority in everything I do.

Something that I constantly need to remind myself is that it’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to have an off day where you don’t meet all of your goals for whatever reason. Its. not. the. end. of. the. world.  What really matters is how you speak to yourself after not keeping your goals. Be gentle with yourself.  You are human, you are not perfect and you will make mistakes and...that’s okay. <3

#new blog #self-care #self-love #blogging #melanin #blackgirlmagic

[yesmelaninvibes]

Welcome to my new blog, Melanin Vibes!  This is my safe space to share my struggles, successes, and experiences as a young black woman in West Virginia.  I hope you are able to relate to something I post.