lusie-king

[lusie-king]

Sometimes, I think the only reason I want a child so I can love them like my parents didn't love me. Is that selfish? To want to bring a life into this world so you can love it in a way you weren't?

To hope, maybe, it'll love you back?

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[lusie-king]

Say goodbye to me twice.

Because you can't bear to leave,

On the first farewell kiss...

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[lusie-king]

God has me by the throat and I am laughing

He demands an answer I cannot give so I grin

Biggest cosmic joke in the universe

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[lusie-king]

What do I apologize for?

What I am?

What I could be?

What I am not?

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[lusie-king]

I have my mother's wrists,

And my father's hands.

Delicate, graceful points on the end of each forearm

That join with fleshy palms and stubby fingers.

How do I make art with all this anger?

How do I live with all this grief?

How do I love with all this pain?

My grip is strong--too strong.

But my touch is weak.

So weak.

Yet I endure. Until I can't.

Until I break.

And I have my parents

To thank.

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[lusie-king]

I rot so well

Decay...

Ecstasy...

A special place in hell

Bones buried deep

Beneath soil, six feet

Tombstone pillow

Under the wavering willow

Your skeletal hand holds mine

Lost souls entwined

And there's no place I'd rather be

Than lying dead, you next to me

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[lusie-king]

Why do I keep on hurting?

Love shouldn't be a burden...

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[lusie-king]

Pretty pretty girl

In an ugly ugly world

Doing her best to just live her life

But it's never right

It's never right

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[lusie-king]

"For as long as you let me love you,

I will."

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[lusie-king]

"I love you....god, I hope it's enough..."

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[lusie-king]

"Is loving me really the worst thing in the world?" He asked, knowing I'd never say the three words.

"No--God no," I breathed, touching the side of his face. "It's my favorite."

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[lusie-king]

Could there be a sweeter sin,

Than the feel of you against my skin,

As you tell me it's the final time

And I know you will never really be mine

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[lusie-king]

If God wants my forgiveness,

He should have shown me mercy.

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[lusie-king]

To feel empty, you first had to be full,

Which means

you had

to lose

something (everything).

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[lusie-king]

Bath me in holy water. Burn me in hellfire.

It does not matter. Neither God nor the Devil hold claim over my soul.

It has always belonged to me, and me alone.

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[lusie-king]

You are so good to me...

(Softly) I don't deserve it.

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[lusie-king]

I cannot bear to hear

Words of sentiment.

Yes, you love me, but please,

Stay silent.

I cannot bear to be loved,

Because,

I feel so guilty.

I don't deserve it,

I don't.

Please,

Love anything else.

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