skilasophia

[skilasophia]

Dog Show

Look around the world and You'll notice everyone is so pretty with They're chokers and collars and I hear the young ones are having trouble with Their identity, their branding Barking at the social media moon as Everyone's crush ignores them during study hall Slowly morphing into an office cafeteria because Nothing ever really changes around here No one ever knows best We're all trying to bang each other and Bite the flesh of our present lovers so we can Later become them through imitations of their aesthetic since They don't ever want to leave my brain He will always be thought about and I'm So sorry for everything baby Why did I end our conversation like that Truth is an explosive and should be handled like a Fresh coat from my local dry cleaner but I'm so selfish, why am I so selfish Such a stupid, dumb, slobbering dog who Can't stop looking at everyone's fashion: Their jeans, their capris, and her leggings.

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#dating #intimacy #love #poem #Poetry #relationships #romance #seattle #social media #stream of consciousness #worry

[skilasophia]

Party for One

The death of erotomania: Everyone's preoccupied with their loneliness And they're looking to distract from the void By playing games for only a moment While practicing scared performances

Take a vacation day And conclude with the same empty feeling; Let's make believe our environment Like sandcastles on the beach As long as we mutually agree This may only last one week

Tomorrow I'll realize another firm decision Calculated with equal vulnerability Aware that my certainty is To everyone's dismay (I can't keep my big mouth shut)

Sitting on the edge of the shore Hoping the tides take me whole I say to myself, "She probably feels the same."

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#existential #honesty #intimacy #loneliness #loss #lost #love #ocean #poem #Poetry #relationship #seattle #worry

[skilasophia]

Intermittent Journaling; or How to Productively Word Vomit

I'm so mad I wish I had more time If only I was thrown into an alternate universe Where people don't talk like we're family Like damn bro You intellectually bore me According to my impulsive poetry We're not friends and I Would prefer to be alone

Maybe I'm an asshole Feeling content with my words Dictated by my bummer This climate change weather or My envy over my coworkers' paycheck We should've never been transparent Our relationship as dwindled I can't be careless with my money Acknowledge that privilege

Only the queers take me seriously And they fetishize me But no one ever becomes my caretaker

Why'd you sub me on Instagram? What the hell bro? I'm just a tired tomboy I feel girl feelings and It sucks that people agree With your sentiments about my Sad, lonely, critical depression Even though I had to recover from surgery By myself, only myself, always myself

Hell is other people and I'm so tired.

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#asexual #dailyprompt #dailyprompt-1922 #journaling #poem #Poetry #seattle #stream of consciousness #trans woman #transgender #vent #worry

[skilasophia]

Reduced Belly Fat

Core discipline People think you're so fine With your nice abs (no water after 12p) Skeleton face (google: "how to manage mood swings"); The camera loves you

Less than 5%? All the fitness rats will fall in love You're so thin, you're so hot (don't season your food); The elliptical is efficient for losing weight Integrate into your workout 60-to-90 minutes daily Maximal incline and resistance

Lululemon's calling: Influencer of the year Go build your audience Lie to your fans Profit from scams You're their favorite brand ("I don't even like this material")

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#biology #body #diet culture #discipline #dysphoria #fitness #fitness culture #gym #material feminism #materialism #meditation guru #pilates #poem #Poetry #seattle #self-help #yoga

[skilasophia]

Instagram Boyfriend

I'm so sorry I never had anyone take pictures of me I know I'm annoying I see it on your face It's because I'm from LA A girl deserves feeling wanted; I'm a developing woman!

I promise to limit my use; You're not a tripod You're a person I'm so sorry I want this to work out I also want pretty photos A girl deserves feeling wanted.

Okay, let's agree: Three photos per day? How about four? Five it is.

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#dating #gender #instagram #instagram boyfriend #intimacy #love #Photography #poem #Poetry #relationship #social media #transgender

[skilasophia]

Vomit Feelings

holy sweet goddamn! i shouldn't tell them about my sweaty palms and how the light keeps hitting their shoulder it'll ruin our short-term friendship i'll end up devastated (three strikes *swing swing* you're out).

they'll be happier with him; imagine having to deal with a trans woman, no one wants that, why would anyone want? dealing with mood swings and gender interpretation, are you a masochist?

"we should hangout on a weekly basis from now on" fuck i'm such an idiot they were totally making a move why didn't i try to see them even if they were sick? i could've made them breakfast and lunch and dinner and breakfast (again and again).

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#asexual #dailyprompt #dailyprompt-1917 #dating #fear #friendship #intimacy #lesbian #loss #lost #love #poem #Poetry #queer #relationship #romance #seattle #situationship #transgender #worry

[skilasophia]

Man it’s hard to get anyone’s attention these days.

Maybe if I wore Google Glass.

I didn’t know teenagers knew words like that. 

What the hell am I going to work on today? Learn some of Hamlet’s speech? We’ve replace the old metrics with new metrics but they’re still just numbers. Charts, algorithms, art, vibrations. 0s and 1s.

More zeros than ones.

The bathroom is a no phone zone.

Meet me down at Blick and we’ll pick up some new fountain pens.

Cue crickets.

[skilasophia]

On The Romantic Ideal

Beautiful imagery No fighting I can't disagree because What if my opinions cause havoc? It would so tragic And not like the movies Who wants an imperfect meet cute? Nobody, not my future children Or my optimistic past self.

I fear being swallowed But to integrate friend groups is lesbian And I don't have any friends anyway; I'll have friends even if temporary But there's always a time limit anyway So what's the threat?!

Happiness is a lovely trap, Why did the world do this to me? Loneliness pierced my soul, Can I ever go back?

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#dailyprompt #dailyprompt-1916 #dating #dating apps #existentialism #friendship #intimacy #lesbian #love #meet cute #modern love #poem #Poetry #queer #queer love #relationship #romance #romantic ideal #seattle #worry

[skilasophia]

Levi, 2016

The first trans person I've ever met (Formally, aside from Anime Expo passersby): If only I knew I wanted some of you.

9 months on Testosterone: Oily with full body werewolf fur, An increasingly alpha facial structure, Metallic vocals like a trans woman.

The most competent bong-hitter; Bowls of kief for days; An emotionally-confused man; Your mom was your dealer.

Maybe you would've been kinder If you knew I desired your original emotions Instead of blocking me on Facebook.

All in the past, and no hate: Everyone loves to use my girldick.

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#california #drugs #hormone replacement therapy #HRT #intimacy #loss #love #poem #Poetry #santa cruz #trans #trans man #trans woman #transgender

[skilasophia]

Tell your boyfriend you love him

The f*ck's your problem girl? You two are obviously perfect together Why don't you show him off?

Stop flirting with me And all the other girls It's not some cute shit Hold him like you hold me I know he's stoic but He seems like such a sweetheart And all you can do is Post a vague story on Valentine's Day?!

I know you care about him I know sharing your feelings is a lot But he's already on your feed So maybe try a little bit more?

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#attachment #dating #friendships #intimacy #love #poem #Poetry #romance #seattle #worry

[skilasophia]

Dweeb

Hormones outta wack Sk8er girl hyphy I'm not acting my age And who cares 😈

Childlike whim Feelin' like a kid I gotta simple plan And I'm gonna win 😸

Acid trip innocent With adult responsibilities: Freaking out about crushes While at my corporate office job 😒

Turn up to Blink-182 Josie on my workplace speakers:

🎶 "Everything's gonna be fine!" 🎶

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#asexual #blink-182 #childlike #crush #dating #endorphins #intimacy #lost #oxytocin #poem #Poetry #romance #seattle #whimsical

[skilasophia]

Balance バランス

A comfortable hug Or prolonged eye contact: Intimacy overwhelms, It's so beautiful, And it's also really scary.

You're worried your self isn't enough; You're anxious about ruining the moment.

Worries about: Your texts not being worth follow-ups; Whether you got the right flowers; If you're overwhelming her with your feelings; Wondering if you're asking too many questions; Thinking about the attraction value of your words.

It's gonna be alright As long as you commit, Try your very best, And respect her space.

This must be the place.

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#balance #connection #conversations #dating #dating advice #intimacy #oxytocin #poem #Poetry #seattle #self-help #self-respect #worry

[skilasophia]

My Neighbor Makes Me Sad

She keeps having sex at 1am; Voice control please!

Good for her (really!) But I can hear every moan, Feel every shake, And since it keeps happening, Know every climax cue.

It's exhausting; I did not consent to this kind of intimacy!

Please be more considerate: I live alone and sex scares me.

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#alone #asexual #dating #depression #intimacy #loneliness #love #nighttime #poem #Poetry #romance #sadness #seattle #sex #single

[skilasophia]

Leave

Like James from Silent Hill 2: Resist temptation and move on It's gonna hurt for awhile You'll lose some friends They'll continue to be close It'll break your heart constantly Some days will be disgusting Everything will be desaturated People won't feel like people No one is going to comfort you They'll ignore your problems;

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#dailyprompt #dailyprompt-1911 #depression #despair #dissociation #emptycore #intensity #poem #Poetry #sadcore #sadness #seattle #transgender #traumacore

[skilasophia]

Weeping Angel

— by majara__

[skilasophia]

Mr. Galvin Plays the Guitar

Composed to accompany his recently released children's book Dedicated to his 5-year-old son.

Written in G major A lot of students chuckled at his performance Ridiculing the corny lyricism And his saggy, enthusiastic smiling.

Four chords And rhythmically pleasantly; Proficient alternate strumming And tactical inversions.

"What a good father," I thought.

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#dailyprompt #dailyprompt-1905 #education #english teacher #guitar #high school #librarian #memories #nostalgia #poem #Poetry #seattle

[skilasophia]

Monk's Delight

Tofu and garbanzo beans Marinated with stir fry sauce All purchased at Trader Joe's

Portable stovetop on medium-high heat Add canola oil from Target Ignore the trans fats

Wait five minutes and Slowly place your ingredients Or slam them to satisfy your need for Second-and-first degree burns

Cook for 8-10 minutes Stir occasionally Cut your palm open Add blood (any amount desired)

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#body #body modifications #catholic #christian #dailyprompt #dailyprompt-1908 #intensity #lonely #monk #poem #Poetry #poor #poverty