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demeterdefence · 3 months

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time for more thoughts nobody asked for (quick content warning this does discuss apollo & sexual assault)

there's been a growing shift in lo from putting reasonable emotional response to things to "lol comedy" and it's ... not good. in all honesty the entire comic seems to have become a parody of itself - lazy sketches, exaggerated appendages, absolute godawful flanderization in character design - but one of the more egregious aspects is the downplaying of genuine anger and righteous frustration into some kind of 1-2 comedy punch.

under the cut for length and content

i won't say that rachel has ever handled nuance or emotional response particularly well, but in the earlier chapters, there was at least a semblance of effort. when depicting or discussing persephone's rape by apollo, rachel writes eros as being rightfully horrified by what happened to persephone, and while it's not great that the emotional catharsis is more on eros reacting to the rape instead of persephone herself, i'll admit that i really did like how eros responded and validated persephone. as someone who has also experienced sexual assault, the sense of grief, fear, and confusion surrounding the event often gaslights victims into being confused or mixed up over the reality of what happened. eros demonstrates nothing but support and love for persephone, evidenced first by noting how upset she is when she says she had sex with apollo, and then by realizing she can't even find the words to describe what happened. he's actually nothing but nurturing in the sequence.

eros recognizes a major component of the assault is not just the assault itself - persephone is blaming herself both for what happened to her, and for "losing" her virginity, which has been a key aspect of her identity for a long time. eros immediately puts himself on persephone's side, reassures her, and comforts her, and it's not done with comedy or hilarity. he is the god of love - he understands sex and desire, and he is absolutely correct that what apollo did was rape. the conversation is treated more or less pretty respectfully, and without any comedic punchline or distraction. it's two friends, one desperately needing comfort, another providing it.

something to note is that from this point on, eros is furious with apollo, and it shows. he is correct that apollo is the bad guy here, and he does not let up in that reaction. the next time we see apollo and eros in the same scene, it's when apollo has cornered persephone in the room where he raped her, backed her up against the wall, and manhandled her. this scene in particular has ... a lot of bad elements to it, but without getting into that hornet's nest, we see eros come upon the scene in time to see what's happening.

and he's not happy.

particular to note that all the gods get wrath eyes at some point or another - apollo's are golden, whereas eros' are blood red, and the standoff emphasizes this. eros immediately breaks into the room and puts himself in front of persephone, staring apollo down until he leaves.

the next time apollo and eros interact, it's right after pesephone has been charged with treason and is hiding in the underworld. now, i do have some problems with this interaction because, considering the last time eros saw the guy it was when he was threatening the girl he raped in the room he raped her in, and eros' reaction is ... fairly muted. but there's still clear disdain in there, and eros does not necessarily hide it.

the last time we see eros and apollo interact before the trial is when apollo gets hit with the arrow of hate and comes after psyche. eros takes it less than well.

ignoring the fight which turns into psyche and eros sidelining everything, the entire interaction ends with eros getting hit with an arrow from apollo after trying to stop him from killing daphne.

it's a good time to point out that by chapter 227 (MONTHS after their last interaction) both eros and psyche are confirmed to know what apollo did, that he's still terrorizing persephone, and that he tried to kill daphne and severely injured eros. psyche has been given the role of goddess in part to keep an eye on apollo. that's confirmed in the story. that's confirmed by rachel. that's confirmed by eros and psyche themselves. apollo nearly killed psyche when he attacked eros. there is a significant lack of love between the three of them. so how does eros react the next time he and apollo are together?

like at this point in the story apollo:

raped eros' friend and terrorized her, once in front of eros who had to physically stop apollo from continuing

gaslit artemis in front of him, emphasizing his abusive behaviour and reinforcing to eros that apollo would manipulate anyone to get what he wanted

tried to kill his wife in front of him

shot him with an arrow that made eros violently ill

tried to kill a nymph in front of him

plotted to kill eros' grandfather / king of the gods

threatened to kill an innocent woman if eros and psyche tried to stop him

locked eros and psyche in a magical jail

by all accounts eros should be seething to fight apollo. he should be rabid. he should be frothing at the mouth to punch the guy out. instead we get this

this is the sort of thing you say to the dude who annoys you or steals your girlfriend, not a RAPIST who tried to kill the KING and wants to establish a coup d'etat. it's just ... painted as comedic when it's anything but? even how eros is drawn is supposed to be caricature, it's exaggerated and meant to suggest humour rather than the actual serious issue that it is. take zeus and daphne and psyche out of the equation, eros still knows apollo is a rapist. he still knows apollo is obsessed with his rape victim. he has demonstrated MASSIVE rage towards apollo in the past, but now it's like the whole thing is a "haha gotcha!" rather than the very obvious implication that apollo is planning more sexual assault. even if he's worried for psyche in this scene, eros still has the power to attack apollo - he's done it twice before! he has the ability to defend himself, so why the hell is he bantering with the guy?

and this has become a reoccurring problem in lore olympus - the way it takes serious trauma and turns it into some kind of comedy now. hera standing up to kronos and deciding to find hebe? hestia has to make a quip about her smoking. demeter coming to terms that her relationship with metis might not have been perfect? gotta get a dig in about demeter's helicopter parenting. morpheus wracked with guilt for the sleep dive with hades? persephone has to take center stage. it's just acting like no one is allowed to be actually angry or grieving except persephone and hades. we haven't even gotten to see zeus deal with being impaled by his father during the battle in the underworld, and sacrificing himself for persephone??? it's the cheap and lazy sitcom formula - ending everything on a cheap laugh, rather than letting people sit with the emotions and frustrations of a situation. back when eros first finds out persephone was raped, the chapter ended on a soft, optimistic sequence; persephone finding comfort in her friendship, and feeling safe. you didn't need a joke, because there wasn't any - it acknowledged the pain persephone was in, but also let the reader know that hope and comfort could be achieved. you don't need to end on a joke or a pithy comment every time - sometimes it's just important to let the emotions be felt. watering down the anger does nothing but water down the severity of why the anger is there in the first place.

it's another demonstration of how rachel could not give a fuck about anything other than persephone and hades. the art, the narrative choices - the care and love for detail is gone. it's just as little effort as possible, and it shows in the most insulting ways.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical #i never know how to tag these skghsfg #abuse ment /#i have been simmering on this a lot it's been in the back of my head for a while #and obviously the art and other whammos sidetracked me #but it's just another case of so called feminist rachel prioritizing cheap laughs and benefitting the abuser

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irregularcollapse · 1 month

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read through your previous answer and was wondering: how do you write laurent (from hold (me), please?)

thank you for all your work!

When I was writing even in another time, I wrote a lot of things about how I approach Laurent, because he was the POV character! Everything I've said about EIAT Laurent is applicable to any Laurent, really, because it's all based in character analysis:

this answer about Laurent's bunions

this answer about Laurent's approach to sex as a survivor of child sexual abuse

this answer about Laurent and Nicaise

this answer about Laurent and Auguste (with added commentary/analysis by my forever-beta reader @sulkybbarnes)

this answer about the abuse which Laurent inflicts on Damen in book 1 and where it comes from

and also this post I made about Laurent's motivation in book 1, because he is not actually getting revenge for Auguste's death when he repeatedly punishes Damen in book 1; he thinks he is getting revenge for years of sexual and psychological abuse.

What is always in consideration when I write Laurent is that he is an adult survivor of child sexual abuse. I’m not going to beat around the bush with this; he isn’t just “damaged” or “hurt” or “bitchy.” He was repeatedly raped and psychologically abused by his uncle from the age of 13, likely until the age of 15, after losing his mother, father, and brother within the span of a few months. He then was obliged and made to continue living under his abuser’s control, in a place where it is impossible that no one knew what was done to him, witnessing his uncle be enabled to continue abusing other boys.

The narrative about him at Arles was completely controlled by his abuser, which is shown to the reader initially first-hand in book 1 when Damen witnesses the Regent manipulating and directing council members to see Laurent as out of control and worthy of punishment; the Regent is even shown, on page, deliberately manipulating Damen. Laurent is unable to retreat from the reminder of being sexually abused: the entire court are open in sexualising and objectifying him despite his best efforts to close himself off and become effectively repulsive, he says since the age of 15; rape itself is glorified as entertainment, and everyone in the place where he lives sits around and cheers for it—is even aroused by it. Since he was 15, everyone else in the court being adults. Everything from the way people talk about him to the hypersexual environment of the court is a reinforcement to Laurent that his uncle’s version of events is the correct one: he asked for it, and he deserved it.

People love to bring up how Damen “didn’t realise” or “didn’t notice” what happened to Laurent, and deride him for not connecting the dots even after he knew that the Regent was a pedophile. It is much more pertinent to Laurent’s story, and indeed Damen’s as well, to ask why no one at the court did anything to protect any of the boys abused by the Regent, including Laurent. People knew. There is evidence throughout all three books that people knew—grown adults, not teenagers like Laurent (him being merely 20 years old throughout the trilogy) and they did nothing. The Crown Prince has his ear pierced like a pet, specifically noted as a taste of the Regent, and there are readers who think it was a secret? We know that Laurent was made to wear paint; we know that he was made to drink and take drugs. It would not have been spoken about, it would not have been acknowledged, but people in the court would have known.

That is why Laurent is a “cast iron bitch” to the people of the court: they stand in front of him and call him “your highness” when they not only failed to intervene when he was his uncle’s target, but now ignore and enable the continued abuse happening right in front of them. They also gossip and talk about him, actively engaging in ongoing and persistent sexual harassment. The only person who doesn't do this is Damen, and even then Laurent has a difficult time letting go of the idea that Damen only wants him for sex. This is not a reflection of Damen specifically; it is a reflection of Laurent's entire life existing around adult men.

Laurent isn’t cold and vulgar and sharp without reason: it is a defense mechanism. He does not act out of inherent spite or delight in the misery of others or just because he likes seeing people humiliated for no reason. It’s interesting that people think of Damen as a black and white thinker who has to be taught to see nuance, because actually in that respect, he and Laurent are the same: the teach each other to see nuance, and to be moderate, because until Damen arrives Laurent has a very tit-for-tat view of justice and a broad brush with which he paints. Damen is more inclined to see the good in people; Laurent is more inclined to see the bad—but they both share an unshakable sense of justice and a belief that people who hurt others need to be punished. There are reasons for both of them to be this way: the societies they have been raised in both put punishment at the forefront of the response to perceived crimes, and the punishments are largely physical and based on arbitrary decisions of proportionality. They teach each other the value of forgiveness and nuance.

This is more than I intended to write, but I've got more energy this morning than I did answering the ask about Damen so my thoughts are connecting a bit better. I guess what I'm saying is that writing about Laurent and sex and relationships is always going to require a foundational understanding of and compassion for trauma caused by sexual abuse. That is as true in canon as it is for me writing even in another time as it is for hold (me) please.

#asks #anonymous #my writing #laurent of vere #i have more energy today but not energy enough to find references for all of this #but believe me. there ARE references for all of this #captive prince

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ashensgrotto · 11 months

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The Sea's Sacrifice (Part 1)

Characters: AzulAshengrotto / Jade Leech / Floyd Leech x F!Reader

Total Word Count: 14.7k+

Part 1 (You are Here) Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Synopsis: A potential job as a marine biologist’s assistant leaves (Y/N) feeling something fishy going on behind the scene…

Author's Notes: Original Idea came from @merakiui 's annonymous ask with a short story / headcannon -> https://www.tumblr.com/merakiui/684490143936167936/ooohhh-i-love-those-writing-ideas-you-had-for-sea?source=share

and I absolutely love this concept and wanted to take it a step further. I don't write yandere nor fanfiction as much as I did a few years ago. However, I do hope I do this piece justice; I will had links to the next part once it is completed and ready for viewing.

Also, this is a work of fiction. I disagree anyone that justifies the following behaviors which are represented in this fic (if I think of more, I will add them as I go):

rape/non-consent/dub-consent, possessive/controlling/dominating behaviors, and manipulation

Cruel and cold like winds on the seas

Will you ever return to me

Hear my voice sing with the tide

My love will never die

Over waves and deep in the blue

I will give up my heart for you

***

If someone were to tell you that you’d eventually be pulled into the wrong end of the sea by, not one but three, unknown sea creatures - you’d probably laugh your head off, thinking they’ve lost their mind.

But how wrong you’d be.

When you had initially applied to work at Twisted Wonders - an emporium of oddities that were collected and studied by the greatest minds in existence - you thought you’d be taking an everyday desk job; answering phone calls, scheduling tours, directing visitors… that sort of thing.

Never in your right mind would you believe that you would be working alongside the Dire Crowley - director and owner of Twisted Wonders. Mr. Crowley was an acclaimed renowned genius with an air that was both mysterious and alluring. He was approximately 170 cm in height (five feet, seven inches) and wore rich tailored clothing made of silks and leather with gold embroidery and jewels embedded into the vest and belt; of course, he upped his strange allure by consistently wearing a heavy leather overcoat that hung to his frame, decorated in black feathers - real or faux, no one was sure, a top hat that perched on his head, and a mask of black that reminded you of a crow - his arched nose hidden under the long rim of the mask that poked out like a beak.

“Here’s the deal, (Y/N),” Mr. Crowley spoke, reclining back in his desk chair as a pair of golden eyes peered out from behind the mask, “We’ve recently acquired three creatures that need to be observed. My team, however, has been unsuccessful at getting remotely close to studying them. They seem to think that an outsider might have a higher success rate at being able to approach them more than any of us will due to their knowing who we are.”

“So, what is it exactly that you want me to do?”

“I want you to observe them,” Mr. Crowley spoke, pushing a contract towards you, “You will work with my group of scientists for about three months as well as the three creatures. You are to notate anything and everything you see the trio doing - how they eat, sleep, react with each other, and so forth - and document everything for our records, no matter how insignificant it is. If you prove your worth and competence within those three months, you will be moved to another position within the facility of your choosing.”

“And that’s it? That’s all I need to do?”

“That’s it.”

‘Seems pretty easy for a payment of twenty dollars an hour…’ you thought as you looked down at the contract before, “And this is my… compliance, right?”

“That would be correct, as well as a safety and confidentiality agreement,” Mr. Crowley answered, offering a pen in your direction.

You took the instrument and wrote your name across the bottom of the page on the dotted line.

“Alright,” Dire Crowley took the contract and stood, pressing a buzzer on his desk, “with everything in order, I’ll have Grimsley take you to meet Divus Crewel and Mozus Trein - the overseers of our aquatic project.”

“I’m sorry, did you say aquatic?” your eyes widened in surprise.

“Dear me, did I forget to mention that part?” Mr. Crowley tapped his chin, his glowing eyes looking up toward the ceiling before returning to rest on your features, “Our newest arrivals are of the oceanic nature - I’ve never met or seen them myself, however Professor Crewel and Professor Trein will be able to go over the basics with you and introduce you to the trio in question.”

“As long as they don’ forget the good stuff!” a snarky voice spoke from behind.

You turned in your chair toward the door to see the man who must’ve been Grimsley.

He was about 163 cm in height with pale skin and dark gray hair with tufts of flame blue poking out in random directions. His eyes also were flame blue and held mischief in their depths that matched the smirk on his face as a set of sharp teeth peered out from behind thin lips. He wore a suit of black with a vest that matched his hair, a black and white-striped tie, and a white dress shirt. Leather loafers padded softly against the carpeted flooring of Crowley's office as he held out a black leather gloved hand in greeting.

"Grimsley Overblot," the man smiled like a Cheshire cat, "I'm Mr. Crowley's henchman and errand runner here at Twisted Wonders."

"(Y/N) (L/N)," you answer, taking Grimsley's hand with a shake, "pleasure to meet you."

“Grimsley, go ahead and take (Y/N) to see the good professors,” Dire Crowley spoke, a satisfied smile on his features, “I’m sure the two are more than ecstatic to meet her.”

***

As it turns out, both men were ecstatic to meet you - though Professor Trein was a bit more reserved about it versus his partner.

Trein's appearance matched his personality - his posture indicated a "no nonsense" aura as did his unchanging features. His lips would quirk into a small smile before they would fall to a straight line as his dark eyes settled on your uneasy form, as if he enjoyed watching you squirm like a germ under the microscope. He was dressed as any scientist would; a heavy white lab coat that fell to his knees hung around his frame that covered a white dress shirt and charcoal-colored dress pants and loafers. His hair was gray with streaks of white and wrinkles covered every inch of his face and neck. He also wore a set of white pristine gloves and had a cravat around his neck with a singular emerald gem that held the cloth together.

As for his partner, Professor Crewel was a bit more… eccentric. Crewel had a sort of energy about him that reminded you of a young dog - not a puppy, but not an adult either. He was always cocking a smile that bore teeth, chuckling when he patted the top of your head as he called you "puppy." His clothing matched his laidback ideals too - a heavy black and white fur coat with a red silk lining covered the charcoal gray dress shirt and pants. His vest was black on one side, white on the other, and wore a red tie that matched the gloves on his hands.

“So,” Crewel spoke after introductions, pulling a cigarette out of his pants pocket and lighting the object, “any questions before we get you set up?”

“I guess my big question is what exactly will I be working with?” you ask.

“We believe the trio to be mers, but they’re not your typical ones,” Trein explained with a sniff as his features twisted at the smell of Crewel’s smoke, “All three of them have the upper bodies of men, but lower halfs of sea creatures. Two of the three half the lower half of what we believe to be that of a moray eel and the third the lower half of an octopus. The twins are typically more curious of the three, though they can be aggressive. Several of our closest colleagues were attacked by the duo after accidentally disturbing them - their bites have left scars and one of our colleagues actually lost their leg from their attack.”

“... and you don’t think I will?” you had to question, the comment coming out high-pitched.

“Well, moray eels - specifically - will attack only if they have been disturbed,” Crewel answered nonchalantly, “We believe there are similarities between the animals and the mers, which is why we are gathering as much information as we can. We want to know what the similarities and differences are between moray eels and the twins.”

“Okay, but I still don’t see how I won’t get attacked by those two. And what about the third?”

“You won’t be attacked as long as you stay still and don’t make any sudden movements,” Trein answered, “Once they get used to you, you’ll know.”

“As for the third,” Crewel answered, “he’s a cecaelia - half man, half octopus.”

You blink, “Don’t moray eels eat octopi?”

“Typically, yes,” Trein answered, “which is strange, in this case. The trio were originally found off the coast in the Coral Sea - living in harmony with each other. When we brought them here, the moray mers have consistently been surrounding the grotto that is in the enclosure - the cecaelia hiding within and rarely comes out. We think that the cecaelia may have raised the morays, but we’re not completely sure.”

“And it’s been a devil of a time trying to get a glimpse of him too,” Crewel shook his head, eyes rolling to the ceiling.

“You mean you haven’t seen him? Not once?”

“I saw him when he was first brought into the enclosure,” Trein sighed, “however, it was dark and I couldn’t see him very well - the eels could be seen because of the bioluminescence that exists within their bodies, allowing us to see their figures.”

“Speaking of which, come,” Crewel rested a hand to the small of your back, “let’s get you acquainted with our aquatic trio, hm?”

Crewel and Trein led you to the opposite end of their laboratory where a large glass wall stood with a set of double doors that led to what appeared to be the edge of a massive pool. Once inside, the smell of fish and humidity tickled your nose as the sound of lapping of water reverberated in the slightly dimmed room; the only light being illuminated from the pool itself. The gray walls stretched high, the ceiling covered by long triangular beams that permitted the echoes of voices and lapping water in the room. One the far left was a coat rack and a small freezer with a large fan blowing the heated air around the room.

“When you come in - which will be about six-thirty each morning, you’ll hang your coat on the rack and put your lunch in the freezer before feeding your charges,” Crewel explained, walking over to the freezer and lifting the lid, “We always restock the food the night before, so you don’t have to worry about not having anything in here for the day. There will be nine buckets total in the freezer - three for the morning, three for noon, three for dinner - so make sure you dump all three buckets in the water, but don’t toss the actual bucket into the water.”

“What’s in them?” you ask, wrinkling your nose at the mixture within the buckets.

“A collection of shellfish - shrimp, crab, clam, lobster - and assorted fish are what they primarily eat,” Crewel answered as he closed the lid to the freezer, “We’ve tried feeding the moray twins octopi - but they refuse to touch it and often threw it at the feeders when they came in. Also, feel free to wear something comfortable. The water temperature varies from 45℉ to as low as 39℉ so we have to offset that with the atmosphere in our enclosure here at approximately 77℉ to 85℉ - never mind that one of the twins likes to splash newcomers right off the bat.”

“So, shorts are ok?”

“Shorts would be preferred, so yes,” Crewel nodded.

“But not too short - lower thigh length to knee length is acceptable,” Trein chided, “you are also permitted to wear sandals within the enclosure as well as a t-shirt or tank top due to the humidity. However, if you do choose sandals and tank tops - please bring a spare pair of tennis shoes to wear on the way in and on the way out as closed toed and heels are required within the labs and main building as well as something to keep your shoulders covered; this is a place of employment, not enjoyment.”

When you nod, Trein continued.

“After you feed them their breakfast, take a seat and use the notebooks over here to document any findings,” Trein walks to the opposite end of the enclosure, opening a locker filled with office supplies, “Take whatever you think you might need for the day and have a seat at the edge of the pool and begin your observations. It might take a few days before one of the twins actually approaches you, but once they do, you should be able to start the observations with no problems. During your first few days, remember to stay still - morays attack when startled or provoked, which we don’t want to happen. You’ll let them come to you and, hopefully once you get acquainted, you’ll be able to do your observations with no trouble at all.”

“Alright.”

“Your shift will be twelve hours total,” Trein also explained, “you will be expected to eat lunch with the trio and feed them their supper before you leave for the night at six pm and place any of your notes back in the locker here for Crewel or I to collect at the end of the day. When you leave, make sure the door is locked. Typically, we will be here until eight, so we often check the door on our way out - but just so you are aware, the door does get stuck on occasion; you may need to knock on the door a few times and one of us or our staff will get you out.”

You nod again.

“Alright, are there any questions?” Crewel asked.

“No, I think I’ve got it.”

“Very well,” Trein smiles, “We’ll see you tomorrow at six sharp - no later.”

“Thank you very much for this opportunity,” you bow your head to both of them before shaking each of their offered hands as the two escorted you out of the enclosure - none of you aware of the two sets of heterochromia eyes that watched your figure from below the water’s surface.

***

One week passes slowly as you go through the motions as the Twisted Wonders aquatic observer.

Every morning, you arrive at quarter to six and greet Crewel and Trein at their laboratory doors. After they unlock and head into their own offices, you make your way to the enclosure and place your bag on the coat rack and the brown paper bag that contains your lunch in the freezer before hauling out the three of the nine gallon-sized buckets one at a time and dump the contents into the water, watching a little bit to see if anything will appear to snatch up a meal as the fish disappear into the murky depths of the pool. After watching the last piece of morsel disappear into the depths, you turn toward the locker, grabbing notebooks, pens and anything else you think you need and take a seat at the edge of the pool.

As the hours pass by, you jot notes down about anything you see - which is nothing.

7:30am: Ripples of water, no sign of the creatures

10:30am: Still no sign of the creatures

12:30pm: Fed mers, no sign of breaking the surface yet - maybe they know I am waiting for them and want nothing to do with me?

2:30pm: Still no sign

4:30pm: I heard a splash, but saw nothing. Maybe they’re nervous?

6:00pm: Fed the mers their supper - Hoping to get a sign of them before I leave today.

Day after day after day, the notes were the same: No sign. No sign. No sign.

By the end of the first week, you were beginning to wonder if you actually would ever see the creatures or if they even existed - or even, heaven forbid, if you were a test subject yourself for believing that there were mers that lived in the enclosure.

When Saturday morning came, you trudged into the enclosure with a heavy sigh and slowly began to begin the day’s events. Everything you did now seemed slower as the hope of seeing something otherworldly began to diminish like smoke. You pulled the first bucket of food out of the freezer and brought it to the edge of the pool, dumping the contents in before standing to return the bucket to the side of the freezer when something slimy and light hit the back of your head. Your hand instinctively reached up and brushed the hair behind your head, feeling traces of water and slime. You looked down to see what hit you, finding the bottom half of an unidentifiable colored fish laying behind you.

Your eyes shifted to look out into the pool - but no movement or any indication that something had thrown the half of the fish at you could be seen.

‘Maybe I’m just imagining things,’ you thought as a sigh escaped your lips, picking up the fish and dropping it into the second bucket before it was dumped over the edge of the pool as well.

As you turned your back to grab the last bucket, again something smacked against the back of your head, a clicking sound following shortly afterwards.

‘Ok,’ you thought, a slight smirk appearing on your features as you picked up the large hunk of lobster from the ground, ‘whoever or whatever you are, I’m assuming you want to play. Well, let’s play.’

You grab the last bucket and dump the contents into the water and kneel at the edge - watching like a cat watches a mouse before pouncing. A few moments pass before you feel your back begin to strain, forcing you to stand. As you do, a whole king prawn nearly smacks you in the face as another round of clicking echoes in the enclosure. You whip your face toward the pool, just in time to see two sets of eyes watching you.

Silence defends the enclosure as the three of you stare in silence at one another.

Your heart races as you realize that the creatures staring at you must be the twins.

You can’t see them completely - their entire bodies are hidden under the water while the tops of their heads and their eyes are the only thing being seen from your position at the edge of the pool as they regard you from a few meters away - but you can see that they are nearly mirrors of each other.

They both have skin the color of seaweed with short hair to match - a longer piece the color of deep sea teal arching in the front of their faces. Instead of human ears, they have fins - likely hiding the gills they use to breathe underwater behind them. The one on your left appears to be more cautious than their twin on the right - their eyes are sharp, their right colored brown and left colored gold, and watching every movement you make as if calculating whether to attack you or not. The one on your right appeared to have more of a droopy expression on their face, their lower eyelids dropping into a bored expression, but their gaze is still sharp. Like their twin, their eyes are different colors - the left colored brown and the right colored gold instead.

You swallow thickly, unsure of what to do exactly.

Moray eels attack if provoked, you recalled Crewel saying, so you didn’t want to make any sudden movements in case they read it wrong and attempt anything. However, it seems that the decision is quickly made when the one on your right slowly approaches the edge of the pool. You stay as still as possible as they approach, their eyes locked on yours as if in a trance.

When they reach the edge, you can see the length of his body in the murky depths. His skin is a darker seaweed teal with little stripe patterns on his cheekbones and arms - with likely more on his lower body hidden deeper in the depths. Large fins poke out from his lower arms, giving him and his brother the ability to glide through the water quickly. You couldn’t see his tail, but if you had to guess - you thought he could be approximately six feet in length or longer.

Then, salted sea water covers your entire body, causing you to sputter at the surprise at getting splashed as the moray mer peeled in laughter. His brother follows up with three sharp clicks before the duo disappear under the water, leaving you to wonder what in the world just happened.

#twisted wonderland #twstファンアート #azul ashengrotto #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader #yandere #yandere jade leech #yandere jade x reader #jade leech #floyd leech #yandere floyd x reader #yandere floyd leech #twst wonderland #twst jade #twst floyd #twst azul #fanfic

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ellzilla · 3 months

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An extreme warning for everyone in the Creepypasta community, especially the Creeps Comic sub-community

This is a post 6 years too late, but I've finally gained the courage to speak up. Trigger Warning for: Pedophillia, child grooming, suicide and beastiality There are two manipulative pedophiles in the creepypasta community that go by the name Kori [Konpeito-Starfox on tumblr, korgifemboi on discord] and Michael [kitsuneaniki on discord] who have: Dated a minor, have been sexual in the presence of minors, exposed minors to hardcore pornography and have drawn pornography FOR minors. When I was 15 back in 2018, I was invited to a creepypasta discord after I was found because of my Old LJ ask blog. I remember Kori and Michael [Trixi at the time] were 21 and 24-25 and were 'tame' at first, but they slowly became more and more sexual as months went by. A few raunchy jokes turned into full on porn posting. They talked about sexual situations with Creeps characters with two 16 year olds and a 17 year old. I felt uncomfortable with it, but I couldn't get why. This next part may be worded poorly, as it's extremely emotionally hard on me to bring up the memories, but I'll try my best and will be the most coherent I can make it. As a dumbass 15 year old, I didn't get the difference between being gay and being sexual due to the homophobic town and family I've grown up around I had never been told otherwise, so I thought it was fine, that lgbt people in their 20's being highly sexual around and directly to lgbt teenagers was fine! Everyone was happy! And me bringing up the uncomfortableness was just me brining everyone down! But then Kori and Michael made porn for a 16 year old's oc having sex with their sonas. And something in me finally shouted "Something is wrong." I didn't know how to word it, but I approached my family [good!] and said "My friends are being a little too gay, what should I say?" [bad!!!] and so I was told "tell them to stop that." And so, in I said "can you stop being gay?" in an attempt to say "hey stop being sexual" [I know, I know, point and laugh at 15 year old me for being confused] and obviously got kicked out for that. There was shit said by them that made me want to commit suicide [thought I must stress they never directly told me to kms] And then got death and rape threats that MIGHT have been from them on my old LJ ask blog after that, but that's a side note. In the same year, the 16 year old who was given porn of their oc, [who I will refer to as Victim 1 and censored in black] started dating Kori and Michael. Note: Victim's 1's birthday is in October and this screenshot is from September

It is of note that Kori and Michael are extremely manipulative and hav convinced Victim 1, that it's better to lie to me and tried to say they were 17 when they started dating, despite me knowing their age and not correcting another [I will refer to as Victim 2 and censored in red] mentioned it in a conversation. There are two other victims who I will also censor the names of.

Below is a continuation of this conversation to show that Kori and Michael have convinced Victim 1 that them showing porn to minors is okay.

I also showed Victim 1 that what Kori and Michael did is VERY ILLEGAL, let alone immoral, but was brushed off. Granted, I should have showed him more but I was rushing to the hospital because of my heart issues and was not thinking straight due to the stress.

Michael has also been proven to quite literally speak for Victim 1 as well. [The sibling comment was because they thought Victim 2's [trans] sister was Victim 2 referring to me]

This is the end of the post, and I hope this is enough to show how much of a threat Kori and Michael are to minors, but I physically cannot show the mountain pile of trauma without putting myself in a medical emergency. There is far more receipts of Kori and Michael's emotional manipulation, but again, if this post went on for too much longer I could end up in the hospital because of them and I don't want it to be a fourth time. If you or someone you know are friends with Kori and Michael, please distance yourself from these pedophiles and show your friend this post. If I could, I would personally report them to the police, however they are in America and I am in Australia with no knowledge of how to report across-seas. If you can, please report them to the proper authorities, although I do not know if they can get into legal trouble for what they did to us years ago, it will stop any on-going child grooming. Please note, I will not be mentioning this or replying to anyone specifically IN MY INBOX until AFTER I recover from making this post. Do not send me anon messages if you're going to tell me something private, instead, message me. If you have a public issue with this post, say it with your chest and off anon. Before this hell is through, I have three more screenshots to share. One of Victim 2 being shown drawn Beastiality while they were still a minor [I have been informed Victim 2 was still 16], one of Kori [with a pfp of LJ having sex with Will in a server full of minors] mocking me while I was still 16 and against them being sexual [and mocking me for my LJ design and having a non-sexual lizard hyperfix], and a miscellaneous message of Michael admitting he likes dog genitalia and mocking me for not liking porn but being fine with gore. WHILE I WAS STILL A MINOR. I will put them under the cut as two of them are censored but still visual images of nsfw. IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT CONTINUE THE POST AND PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE.

Grown ass adults talking to and about children...

#cw: pedophillia #cw: grooming #grooming tw #pedophillia tw #child abuse tw #public service announcement #i don't know what else to type.

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celluloidbroomcloset · 12 days

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Well, since folks are talking about Stizzy again....

One of the things that keeps coming up in all the convo are Stizzy fics and discussions falling into one of two categories (plotwise): 1) rewarding/healing Izzy himself with Stede's love or sex (this is also attached to the "Ed is gone for some fucking reason" plot), and 2) Izzy teaching/educating Stede (and I've seen this come into jokes about the whole training montage, as well as into fanart, and into discussions of canon).

The first has been discussed a good bit (sex and love is not a reward for a job well done and a character is not owed sex to allow them to heal). But the second is perhaps even more troubling because it reads very much as Izzy acting as a corrective for Stede's masculinity—that he does being a man wrong and needs Izzy to teach him the correct way, via sex. This is deeply troubling not just because it's so antithetical to the entire point of the show, but also means subjecting Stede, a fairly effeminate, gnc gay man, to corrective training centering around his masculinity, via a character who has abused him in the past.

A good bit of Stede's arc in the show is about struggling with what masculinity means—his bullies (his father, Izzy, Chauncey and Nigel, and Calico Jack) all treat his gender presentation as wrong, and he has been both physically and emotionally abused by other boys and men for not adhering or even being capable of adhering to a very narrow concept of what men are and how men look. And that is in turn tied to his sexuality—what offends Izzy and Jack about Stede is not that he's queer but how he's queer.

So casting Izzy in some sexual mentor/teacher role is troubling because it is closely associated with "correction" or humiliation of effeminate men to "make a man" of them, which in turn is part of rape culture.

These ships, fics, interpretations, fanart, etc. don't exist in a cultural vacuum, and no one can pretend that they do. That's not a moral judgment; that's a fact, and it should be discussed.

(I've also seen more than a few fics that include Ed as Blackbeard humiliating Stede, with a fuck ton of very dubious consent, and TBH, that kind of thing also feeds back into this idea that Stede needs to subjugated and corrected by a "real man," but that is a diffferent possibly more loaded conversation.)

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #izzy hands #edward teach #fandom critical #stizzy #whatever i'm tagging it because i'm feeling salty

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 15 days

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apologies for being callous in asking this, but seeing as so many aegon-centric (or those who had tagged him) blogs, no matter how good their dissertion and dissection of aegon is, gets called/is assumed to be a rapist defender/apologist, have you ever received an ask/comment calling you that? if so, i hope it never bothered you at all. apologies for bringing it up but i feel like getting called that would probably stopped those from actually enjoying/talking about him and his other qualities (such as his alcoholism, his bond with his dragon, his actions during the dance, his desperate survival.) because it actually stopped me from enjoying his character (because i initially felt so bad liking a character like that), going through his tag as well as looking for fics because of the vitriol. well that was until i stumbled upon your AKAB and OFCiR, which gave me so much perspective on aegon. and your opinion on the dyanna scene (which is oh boy, such a hot topic) was so beautiful.

No worries anon! So actually, I've never received an ask or comment with the rape defender/rape apologist accusations (and now that I've said this, I'm sure I'm sure someone will want to break that streak lol). I've participated in discussions in general in which those sorts of attacks were tossed around, but I've never had them aimed at me directly.

I'm honestly pretty surprised it hasn't happened, but I sort of chalk it up to two things. 1) I block prodigiously and pre-emptively and 2) I tag my discourse posts judiciously and try not to antagonize other fans by posting critical things in the main tags. And although I know opinions vary on this, using anti tags and team tags is also another way of making sure that people who have certain tags blocked will not see my posts, so I do use those when I feel it's appropriate. Beyond those two things, I think I also have a habit of writing pretty detailed responses and providing evidence to back up my assertions, which probably discourages people who are just looking to get a rise out of someone and don't want to read a five paragraph essay about why they're wrong.

I'm really sorry that those sorts of accusations have stopped you from enjoying Aegon's character in the past, and I'm glad my fics helped you to enjoy him again. Obviously I think he's an interesting guy with a compelling, tragic story! I will say this: I've been in the greater asoiaf fandom for well over a decade now, and characters who are far more morally dubious than Aegon have always had fans. Ramsay has fans. Euron Greyjoy has fans. I don't know if you were watching GoT when the show first aired, but so many show only people hated Jaime at first, not knowing his arc, and by the end he was one of the more beloved characters on the show. And by the end of the Dance, no one's hands are clean. Rhaenyra herself allows Dalton Greyjoy to reave along the coast of the Westerlands, which results in hundreds of women being taken as salt wives (and we know what that entails!). If we can only enjoy the most morally correct characters, our choices for the Dance era are pretty slim, and mostly limited to literal children.

I doubt most people throwing out those accusations could even spot actual rape apologia in a fandom context, considering all of the other types of apologia I see flying around unchecked. Rape apologia is not the existence of rapist characters, enjoying those characters, or even analyzing why those characters did what they did. Rape apologia is not questioning why the show decided to make Aegon a rapist, or hoping he might get more character development in the future. Rape apologia is making excuses for rape, or outright denying that it happened. So, saying "Dyana was probably lying" or "Dyana was probably into it" or "Dyana was scamming the royal family," or even what Aegon himself said in the scene, "it was just a bit of harmless fun," that's clear cut rape apologia. And here's the thing, when something is wrong, it's usually because it causes harm, and unlike simply enjoying a character, actual rape apologia does cause harm. Making excuses for or denying even fictional rapes perpetuates rape culture in ways that make it harder for women to speak up against assault, and harder for rapists to be prosecuted effectively. But again, I have never seen actual rape apologia among the team green fans I know.

Finally, I'll just say that while fandom in general can be a fun, positive thing that helps people connect with each other based on shared interests, that drives people to think and to create and to do, on the other hand, fandom can also feed some pretty shitty modern impulses. It creates cliques, empowers bullies, and worst of all, it encourages a kind of brand driven consumption that in turn perpetuates this idea of fandom as activism. Activism is getting involved in your community, volunteering, fundraising, protesting, labor organizing, boycotting, etc. Activism is not scolding people online for enjoying media the wrong way. People who think this way need to reconnect with the outside world, and anon, I hope you continue to enjoy whichever characters fascinate you, including Aegon.

#i have seen a lot of posts about how daemon is NOT a groomer #but not many about how show!aegon is not a rapist #just saying #asks #aegon ii targaryen #tw sa #team green #hotd critical #anti hotd fandom

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laurenscharhagwrites · 7 months

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RIP Louise Gluck. Your voice will be sorely missed. This is my favorite poem by her.

Persephone the Wanderer

In the first version, Persephone

is taken from her mother

and the goddess of the earth

punishes the earth—this is

consistent with what we know of human behavior,

that human beings take profound satisfaction

in doing harm, particularly

unconscious harm:

we may call this

negative creation.

Persephone's initial

sojourn in hell continues to be

pawed over by scholars who dispute

the sensations of the virgin:

did she cooperate in her rape,

or was she drugged, violated against her will,

as happens so often now to modern girls.

As is well known, the return of the beloved

does not correct

the loss of the beloved: Persephone

returns home

stained with red juice like

a character in Hawthorne—

I am not certain I will

keep this word: is earth

"home" to Persephone? Is she at home, conceivably,

in the bed of the god? Is she

at home nowhere? Is she

a born wanderer, in other words

an existential

replica of her own mother, less

hamstrung by ideas of causality?

You are allowed to like

no one, you know. The characters

are not people.

They are aspects of a dilemma or conflict.

Three parts: just as the soul is divided,

ego, superego, id. Likewise

the three levels of the known world,

a kind of diagram that separates

heaven from earth from hell.

You must ask yourself:

where is it snowing?

White of forgetfulness,

of desecration—

It is snowing on earth; the cold wind says

Persephone is having sex in hell.

Unlike the rest of us, she doesn't know

what winter is, only that

she is what causes it.

She is lying in the bed of Hades.

What is in her mind?

Is she afraid? Has something

blotted out the idea

of mind?

She does know the earth

is run by mothers, this much

is certain. She also knows

she is not what is called

a girl any longer. Regarding

incarceration, she believes

she has been a prisoner since she has been a daughter.

The terrible reunions in store for her

will take up the rest of her life.

When the passion for expiation

is chronic, fierce, you do not choose

the way you live. You do not live;

you are not allowed to die.

You drift between earth and death

which seem, finally,

strangely alike. Scholars tell us

that there is no point in knowing what you want

when the forces contending over you

could kill you.

White of forgetfulness,

white of safety—

They say

there is a rift in the human soul

which was not constructed to belong

entirely to life. Earth

asks us to deny this rift, a threat

disguised as suggestion—

as we have seen

in the tale of Persephone

which should be read

as an argument between the mother and the lover—

the daughter is just meat.

When death confronts her, she has never seen

the meadow without the daisies.

Suddenly she is no longer

singing her maidenly songs

about her mother's

beauty and fecundity. Where

the rift is, the break is.

Song of the earth,

song of the mythic vision of eternal life—

My soul

shattered with the strain

of trying to belong to earth—

What will you do,

when it is your turn in the field with the god?

#poetry #louise glück #poem

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bookishfeylin · 8 months

Note

Hi, how are you? I've been following you for a while here on Tumblr, and I wanted to know if you have any thoughts about Eris Vanserra. I know a lot of people don't like him because of what the Inner Circle (and especially Morrigan) think of him. So I would like to know if you believe that he wears a mask to disguise the person he really is

Hi! I'm doing great :) I have mixed feelings on Eris, not because I like him in particular but because his character appears to be another example of Sarah retconning previously established plot points and characterization on a whim and he serves as a more notable example of this because many people on the hardcore pro Inner Circle side of the fandom dislike him.

Eris is introduced as Lucien's oldest brother and, therefore, one of two involved in Jesminda's death. ACOMAF expands on this and adds that he is also directly tied to Morrigan's abuse. Mor's character, in particular, is cast as someone for Feyre to emulate in ACOMAF--a happy, independent, and empowered survivor of abuse. Eris, in ACOMAF, is meant to be Morrigan's Tamlin. The abusive fiancée she fled from. And Morrigan is who Feyre could be now that she doesn't have Tamlin or her family holding her back, and she is what Feyre spends the book trying to become, in essence. So while Eris no longer being involved with Jesminda's death is a hard retcon to swallow, it's FASCINATING to me that Sarah also appears to be heading in the direction of retconning his status as an abuser of Morrigan. If Sarah does this, then Morrigan's whole character as presented in ACOMAF is undermined. If Morrigan is *lying* about her abuse (as he implies during his dance with Nesta in ACOSF)... then what was the point of her character? Her story of empowerment after escaping, not just an abusive family, but an abusive fiancée ***just like Feyre did*** completely ruins the connection they have and the point of her character's presence in ACOMAF; it ruins the fact that she's meant as an inspiration for Feyre. And it ruins the whole message of ACOMAF, honestly. The point of the book is female empowerment, is that you can escape and heal and grow after being abused. If Morrigan and Eris's past is retconned, then it's yet another example of Sarah shitting on her own message about domestic violence.

To answer your question: I do think that, with ACOSF's release, Sarah has decided to retcon Eris and that she decided he has ~complex motivations~ and a ~mask~. That seems to be the direction she's heading in. And while I'm not particularly fond of Eris, I'm fascinated by Sarah's possible direction with his character. If she does indeed retcon his past with Mor, I look forward to seeing the fandom reaction, because while Rhysand is very beloved to the point fandom could excuse and forgive his sexual assault, mind rape, torture, purposeful endangerment, secrecy, and reproductive abuse of Feyre, Eris is seemingly less well-liked and the hardcore Inner Circle stans are, imo, unlikely to forgive and excuse him the same way. I want to see what will happen when me and the moots are proven correct yet again about Sarah not planning anything and not caring about her themes when suddenly the abuse of an Inner Circle member by any character who's not Rhysand is retconned.

#ask #acotar analysis #anti acomaf #anti acotar #eris vanserra #acosf #sjm critical

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so-many-fandoms-here · 1 year

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(English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct any mistake you notice <3)

• Characters: Suguru Niragi (kinda ooc), fem!Reader

• Genre: fluff, slight smut at the end

• Warnings: mentions of violence, guns, death and sex

It’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you soon

Part 1 | Part 2

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼

Your original plan was to surprise Niragi. Your heart beat like it tried to escape your body when you left the airport heading to the trains, and it really started to hurt when you left the train again heading to his old apartment where he used to live with his parents, hoping at least his parents would be there. What if he doesn‘t want to see you? What if he doesn‘t like you anymore? You were so deep in your thoughts that you weren’t even bothered by those weird guys, almost knocking you over because they tried to run away from the police. The last thing you noticed was the sudden fireworks in the middle of the day.

And now you are here. Wherever here is. Yes, you’re in japan but everything is different. The majority of the people who suppose to live here is gone, only few are left but none of them has a single clue what the fuck is going on.

So you walk trough the streets, scared for your life, as you should as you will find out a tiny bit later. Not knowing what to do and afraid of every step you take you decide that you will die a lot faster if you are alone and it’s the best if you find a group of people.

After a few miles you see a ramen restaurant, or more whats left of it. You gently knock on the door, not sure what you wish more for, that someone really opens the door or that it remains closed. You are just about to leave, thinking the building is empty, when the door opens and a woman, not much older than you looks through the crack. „I‘m scared“, you whisper after a while where the woman just stares at you. Then she opens the door completely, asking you to come in.

Maybe she will kill me, you think to yourself, deciding that it isn’t a big issue, since something or someone is probably gonna kill you in this fucked up world anyways soon. Turns out there are a lot of people inside, about twenty you guess. You let yourself sink on a chair and feel how the exhaustion hits you and right after the woman closed the door again she asks: „Do you know anything about this world?“

You tell her what you already know. Something about games and visas that will kill you if they run out but that you haven’t been able to put everything together so that it makes sense. And then the people tell you what they know and a tiny part in your brain wishes that you would have stayed clueless.

The group of twenty has soon become a group of fifteen, then ten, then four and with every death you see, you become colder. At first you saw a person who lived, who loved, who cried, who went to school so they could get their dream job. Now you see corpses, waiting for the time to rot away what makes them look human. It’s not like you don’t care. You know very well that if you get the chance you will break down, cry, scream and throw up but now you have to function. You have to survive to get the chance to break down in the first place.

The last game you played split the group of the remaining four completely. One died, the other doesn’t want to leave the corpse and the last one just disappeared right after the game ended. Now you stand here again, alone just like on the first day. Your eyes focused on the corpse of your comrade. You ask yourself if it’s even worth all of it. Is Niragi still alive? Will you ever see him again? Or will you die before you find him or whats left of him?

„Are you alone?“ you turn around to the person who disturbed you in your hopelessness. „Yes“, you say not caring anymore if he would rape or kill you. „Come with me.“ You act like you think about it so that he won’t think you are naive, but you already decided that you will go with him. Everywhere is better than being alone again. „Where are we going?“ you ask after you two already walked for he while. „The Beach“, he says leaving you just as clueless as before. You don’t feel like asking any more questions so you just follow him, hoping he would actually bring you somewhere.

Turns out that The Beach is in fact a resort, now filled with hundreds of people who are trapped here too. The guy brings you to another man, who called himself Hatter and was the founder of this… yeah whatever this is. He explains a bit about how the things roll here. You can eat, drink, sleep, have sex, anything you want as long as you give him the cards you earn when you win a game. Fine with me, you think as you go to the room he gave you the key for. It was almost to good to be true. The only thing you have to worry about now are the games.

Although you were still beyond exhausted after you sleep for at least ten hours, you are too curious about this place to just stay in bed until you have to do the next game. So you stand up, put on a bikini hatter gave you which obviously is part of some weird dresscode, try to memorize exactly where you room is and then you head off towards the pool downstairs.

The pool is full with people laughing, drinking and fucking. Music is playing and everyone around seems to be pretty happy too. It is a bit unsettling seeing laughing people in the situation you’re all in but you also get that they maybe try to ignore it all too. Maybe would cry and scream too when they get the chance too. You look around and see a tiny group of girls about your age sitting on a table so you take all the courage you have and approach them, praying you will find a group again. To your relief the girls are super nice and gladly adopting you into their group.

After a bit chitchat and one way too sweet cocktail you feel yourself easing up a bit and damn, no amount of sleep could have you regain your energy that quickly. After ten hours of sleeping your body may be rested but not your mind. Talking to these girls about normal things, and not the cruel reality and a few sips alcohol really helps to keep your sanity.

You are laughing about a joke one of the three cracked when you first hear steps behind and then feel a presence beside you. The girls are quietly looking at you, almost looking afraid. You try to keep calm. Don’t let whoever is beside you think that you are weak in any sort of way. „Who have we here?“, the mysterious person asks and you freeze. Not because the others did freeze too, not because of the barrel of the gun that digs into your back, it was the voice that makes you freeze. The voice you know better than anyone else’s, even tho it sounds a bit different. „You’re the new one I suppose.“ There was something in the tone that makes him sound insane but you know it’s him. It’s the man you collected from the floor after he got beaten up. The man who you started fights for. The man who bleed over the floor and the sink because his bullies pushed a needle through his tongue. The man who‘s name you moaned when you felt like you and him would mold together. „Suguru?“, you whisper as you slowly turn your heads toward him. He is right in the middle of licking his lips and showing his tongue piercing off when it hits him like a stroke. As fast as possible he removes his rifle from your back, not able to do anything else.

You were already in the middle of thinking about how he doesn’t recognize you anymore when he grabs your wrist and storms off with you. „What are you doing?“, you ask without getting an answer. He drags you along the floors until he stops in front of a door, the one to his room you assume. He unlocks it, drags you inside, closes the door again and presses you against the wall, almost locking you into the corner of the room. Your back hurts because of the edge of the door you’re leaning against.

„What are you doing here?“ he asks, completely out of breath. „I could ask the same“, you reply, overwhelmed with everything that is happening right now. „What are you doing in japan?!“ he asks more specifically this time. Heat rises up to your ears and you can’t look him in the eyes at first, because you were afraid how he would react. Just like when you told him you’re moving away.

„I wanted to surprise you“, you eventually admit, still looking at the floor. „I wanted to go to the apartment you used to live in, hoping at least your parents would be there and that they would tell me where I would find you.“ It takes everything on strength that’s left inside your body but you look up, right into his dark eyes. „I told you it‘s not a goodbye.“ A weak smile appears on your lips but because of Niragis lack of reaction it dies right away. „It’s okay if you are overwhelmed with the situation. I understand. I also understand if you don’t want too see me at all. It‘s just“ As you notice that your voice is about to crack you stop and act like you have to clear your throat before you continue. „I missed you. And I feel dumb to admit it but I hoped you missed me too. I hoped you would still like me.“ After you say it out loud you realize how stupid, how naive it was. You silently wait for Niragi to say something, to scream at you or to kick you out but nothing like this happens. You even expect that he points his gun back against you but he just stands there looking at you with the same shocked expression he has since he saw you ten minutes ago.

You take a breath to say something, not sure what exactly yet but you don’t have to think of any words anyways. First you hear him dropping his gun, then he forces his lips so hard on yours that your teeth clash together. Everything happens in the blink of an eye and you need a second to process everything. As soon as your brain starts working again you place your hands on either side of his face and try to pull him even closer to you. You melt into his arms and you almost forget where you are as his tongue glides into your mouth, dancing with your own. The metal of the piercing, almost as warm as his tongue itself, glides clacking over your teeth. You two part for a second which you take to admire his face. „I knew the piercings would suit you“, you breath, guiding your hand up his head, over the piercings on his eyebrows, then over his nostril and down again, back to his cheek. He laughs quietly and just as he wants to kiss you again someone aggressively knocks at the door.

Niragi, obviously more than annoyed, looks up against the wooden door and yells. „What do you want?“ „You’re still on patrol!“, the voice on the other side of the door answers. „You can fuck that bitch later.“

His annoyance turns into blind rage after the comment of the other guy. He quickly pushes you away from the door, picks up his rifle, opens the door and aims straight at the head of the man in front of him. „Watch out who you call a bitch“, he warns. „It’s rather funny to blow someones brains out.“ With that he turns back to you. „I will pick you up later, that’s fine with you?“ You nod, smiling wide. While leaving you let your hand glide across Niragis upper arm as you pass by, giving him one last grin before you head off to the girls on the pool again.

The girls don’t dare to ask what that was with Niragi and you and so you four continue your chat about everything and anything, acting like nothing happened.

Niragi in the meantime tries to go past the pool as often as possible so he can at least catch a short gaze of you here and there. Today it feels like he is walking for forever around those stupid environment. But then, eventually, they let him go. If his pride wouldn’t be that high he would run to you but instead he tries to act cool even though his insides scream.

With his gun thrown over his shoulder he leans down, his head right next to yours, tongue showing off the piercing, then he whispers: „Let’s head back to my room and continue where we were disturbed. Sounds good?“ You move his hand towards his face, acting like you want to hold him by his chin and sneaky pressing your middle- and ringfinger right at the spot where you assume his main artery. Smiling knowingly about the fact how fast his heart races you stand up and take his hand. This time you are the one that drags him away from the others. As soon as you two were inside the building and no one was near, he suddenly stops and pulls you back to him. „What was that about?“, he asks, not needing an answer. He knows. „Your heart races“, you reply anyways, voice almost melodious.

In his room he makes sure his gun is secured before he throws it next to the bed. Then he grabs both of your hands, sits down and pulls you in his lap. As soon as his hands are all over your body again you realize how bad you missed him. It hits you like a wave and you put all your love and affection into the kisses you shower him with. His lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, nothing is left out as his hands roam over your body. He wishes he could touch you everywhere at the same time and crawl inside you, laying his head on your heart to feel your heartbeat all the time. „Did you had many relationships?“, his voice is shaking a little bit because he’s not sure if he really wants to know. „A few but never something serious“, you answer honestly, then stopping the assault on his neck to look him in his eyes. You see the storm inside them and all the pain he had to deal with alone while you were gone. „What about you?“ „Fucked around a lot. Literally. But never anything serious either.“

While you look at him, he realizes that the piece of his heart that went with you was in good hands. He did expect that when you will hand it back to him, it’s already dead. Stabbed by a knife without you even noticing it was with you the whole time. But here he is. He may be in a twisted world full of murder and slaughter but you are here too. Right here, right now, sitting in his lap so for now he lets The Beach be The Beach, the games be the games and just focuses on the moment right now. Focuses on your lips, your skin, his erection caused by you. „You won’t be leaving me again, you hear?“, he says while letting his hand slips underneath your bikinitop and feeling your bare breast fitting perfectly in his hand. „You‘re mine“, he whispers again. „You’re mine and I’m yours.“ The words seep through your ears into your whole body, leaving goosebumps all over your skin behind.

You reach behind your back, opening the strings of your top and letting it drop to the floor. It didn’t even took five more minutes until you lay under him, his naked body pressed against yours. And you still feel his heart racing. „Are you nervous?“, you ask, being one hundred percent sure he won’t answer honestly. And of curse you are right. „Me? Never“, he lies, chuckling. „Are you?“ You think for a second. „A little bit. You are a whole new man.“ Dark eyes looking down in your own, telling you what he would never say out loud. He changed, but not the way he feels about you.

#aib #alice in borderland #fanfiction #alice in borderland x reader #x reader #alice in borderland x y/n #aib x reader #aib x y/n #smut #fluff #angst #slight smut #suguru niragi #niragi alice in borderland #alice in borderland niragi #niragi x reader #niragi suguru #niragi smut #niragi fluff

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philtatosbuck · 11 months

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it’s so gross to me how c*roline stans have been running with this narrative that Elena is a horrible friend to Caroline and attacking her for getting involved with Damon after he r*ped Caroline while giving Stefan a free pass when Damon is literally Elena’s abuser too, and Elena was horrified and outraged by what Damon did to Caroline and did everything she could to protect Caroline when Elena was literally a teenage girl unfamiliar with the supernatural world being preyed on by two 100+ vampires and oh yeah DAMON WAS ELENA’S ABUSER TOO like literally what was elena supposed to do Damon was constantly inserting himself into her life and every time she’d reject him he’d do something like kill her brother like she had literally no power against him. Stefan was the one who could have done something about Damon and constantly chose not to but this gets completely ignored by fandom. also funny how the “elena is the worst” crowd had nothing to say about Caroline sleeping with the guy who killed Tyler’s mom (except for the people attacking TYLER for being upset lmao)

Listen, I'm 80% right there with you. You've hooked me. You're gonna get a whole essay out of me.

There are five (major) issues to tackle here. Let's start with the first one, which should be the most simple to understand.

Damon's Ongoing Assault Issue.

We all saw what Damon did. We all agree that him compelling Caroline removed her ability to consent to it. We are all aware of that. Here's the thing. In character, no one ever addresses more than the feeding and manipulation. Not even Caroline herself. We, as the audience, know the issue. But the issue presented in character is never as clear cut as "Damon raped Caroline, and she rightfully hates him for it." They never go there, and we know why. This also unfortunately means that Caroline never once says that's the reason she hates Damon so much. We're given the "he manipulated me, he fed off of me without my consent" which is still bad, but it's nothing he didn't do to anyone else. He killed Alaric multiple times. He killed Jeremy. He threatened and attacked Bonnie. He's killed Vicki and Mason and everyone else, and this is after what he did to Caroline. If he gets away with all of that, why wouldn't they forgive or tolerate him for something as 'natural' as feeding? By not acknowledging that his compulsion removed Caroline's consent, they never have to acknowledge that what he did was rape. And that means they never have to say Damon did anything worse to Caroline than he did to anyone else. Specifically, we also never see anyone call out the fact Damon compels Andie to be okay with what he is and to let him feed off of her while in a relationship with her as well. Alaric in particular never calls this out despite the fact he's an adult who should know better than the teenagers how wrong it is, because by that point, they've all reached a place where they're damn near complacent in what Damon does. But anyway, without them outright saying what he did and calling it what he is, Caroline seems very... obnoxious with her dislike for him, while everyone else has gotten over it. It kind of leads us into the next one.

The Stefan Issue.

You're completely correct. Stefan should have been the one getting Damon away. Both Elena and Stefan knew what Damon was doing to Caroline, and Elena demanded he deal with it. And he did. To do that, he used Caroline as a way to subdue Damon. While people often talk about how Stefan took Caroline under his wing, it wasn't before he repeatedly used her. Even after that, he uses her when it comes to Klaus and to Tyler. But focusing on the Damon subject, Caroline never once acknowledges that Stefan knew (which she knows) what Damon was doing to some extent or holds him responsible for it, or snarks at him about Damon as much as she does Elena. She all but outright absolves him of any wrongdoing as soon as he becomes her mentor. You see it in the way she personally roots for Stefan whenever it comes to the damned triangle, her own desire to prop him up overriding any and everything. Even after Stefan hurt Elena herself, she was still very aggressively team Stefan. This is partially because she's basically Julie Plec's self insert, and partially because she sees Stefan as the good brother, despite the fact he above all is the one who primarily excused and defended him during that time. People will not admit that Stefan is complacent in Damon's actions because they're obsessed with a 'good brother, bad brother' dynamic. On the flip side, people who do acknowledge Stefan's part of it claim Damon is better because he "owns up to what he is". The truth of the matter is that they're both assholes.

The Elena Of It All.

Like you said, Elena was rightfully disgusted and terrified of what Damon did to Caroline, and fucking immediately told Stefan to deal with that shit. For a bit after that, she (and Bonnie) were doing their best to keep Damon away from Caroline. Here's where the issue lies. Like I said before, we, the audience, know everything, right? Did we ever see a scene where Caroline tells her exactly what happened with Damon? This is part of the issue I mentioned with 'Caroline never outright says it'. All Elena has to go on is bruises and bitemarks. And she is mad about that, mad about the fact Damon fed on her without her consent, but that's all she thinks happened. She does not know Damon is her rapist. And yes, that is enough reason for Elena to hate him and be mad at him, but look at all the things I mentioned above. What did he do to Caroline that he hasn't done to others who, frankly, mean more to Elena? As bad as it is to say it, as far as Elena knows, there's nothing special about what Damon did to Caroline.

Part two of the Elena issue is that while you're right, while Damon was her abuser too, it gets wonky because of the sire bond and because of her eventual feelings for him. At some point in season one, Caroline is asking for the necklace back, and Elena goes "why? so you can give it back to Damon?" which is half a joke, half not. So already, Elena is joking about the situation. Which, Caroline doesn't remember everything. Elena knows that. Look, you can essentially take it one of two ways. One, Elena's trying to make shit seem normal because they haven't told Caroline about the supernatural, while feeling out why she wants it back. Two, she's being cruel. It honestly depends on how you view her character this early on. I'm not gonna debate about that, whatever.

Anyway, later on, in season whatever the hell, Damon jokes "have fun with blondie, I know I did" and Elena laughs. That? Was bad. Even without knowing the full extent of what he did, it was a fucked up thing to laugh at. I love Elena, and it was fucked up. You'll never see me denying that shit. Damon even fucking teaches her to hunt in the same way he picked Caroline out and it isn't called out, in canon.

Primarily, people's issue with Elena, is that it seems like she co-signs all of Damon's bullshit from even before they were together because she gets with him. For them, it's like Elena is immediately acknowledging and approving of everything Damon did because they're in a relationship. Some people acknowledge Stefan and Alaric do this as well. Some don't. Oh well.

I don't ship delena, or stelena. I think Elena and Damon's dynamic was terrible. I think her character changed when she got with him, for the worse. I openly admit all that, and you can take it as I'm biased if you want to. I personally don't think two people getting together means they cosign each other's bullshit, but whatever.

But the main issue lies in season one. They believe Elena should have done something to stop Damon from what he did to Caroline. What, exactly? I don't know. Damon was trying to compel Elena to fucking kiss him in season one and she smacked him immediately. She wanted him dead for what he did to Caroline. She said as much. I couldn't tell you what else people wanted her to do. By the time she had some kind of power against him, he had done bigger and worse things and yet he was one of their only allies with knowledge of the supernatural so they needed him. So, bluntly, Caroline's thing got pushed to the way side. One thing I see people mention is that Elena stopped Bonnie from personally killing Damon when they found out Caroline got turned and you can make your own opinions about that but Damon did not do that. Katherine did. He did deserve to die, but Elena didn't want Bonnie to be the one to do it. Opinions and reasons vary, but she also didn't let Damon kill Caroline (by directly putting herself in harm's way to protect her), so... whatever you want to think about that, think it, do it, bop it, I don't care.

My opinion on Elena being a horrible friend to Caroline is that she's not. At the end of the day, Elena is probably one of the people who treated Caroline best, if you step back and look at the whole thing from an objective point of view. People just do not do that.

I do think there's a certain point where "Elena couldn't do anything" stops being entirely true, but it's long after what happened to Caroline. And it's nothing that Caroline herself couldn't do after she became a vampire (much sooner than Elena did).

The Caroline-Klaus Issue.

Preaching to the choir, dude. People will go on all day saying how dating your friend's abuser is wrong (fair) and then say Caroline is better because she Just fucked Klaus (despite the fact they WANTED them to be in a long term relationship anyway). I, personally, don't see how the fuck that's better. I also don't see a point in "morality" arguments for this fandom, but let's just write it out. Fucking the guy who murdered your boyfriend's mom and his friends is better than dating a guy who manipulated your friend into doing his bidding and feeding on her (which as is as much as Elena knows)? Debatable.

People will often excuse this as "Tyler chose revenge over her" as if Klaus did not murder his mother and the fellow hybrids. If the roles were reversed and Liz had been murdered, there'd be a different talk. But hey.

Finally,

The Caroline Issue.

Caroline not only serves as Julie's self insert, but she's the self insert for a lot of this damn fandom. You see it in fics, where they either change her personality so she's more like Elena or Bonnie, and Elena/Bonnie is the friend who can't keep their mouth shut or is always commenting on their friends' lives or spilling secrets.

The Tyler thing? Caroline's a girlboss for telling Tyler to get over it! after she slept with his mother's murderer. But Elena's a terrible friend and "trying to make it all about her" when she tries to sympathize with Caroline over Liz's death and turning her humanity off. Caroline's a queen when she slutshames Katherine and Rebekah and literally any female character she doesn't like who she speaks about for more than two seconds, but when Elena throws it back in her face that Caroline INTENDED to sleep with Damon before finding out he was a vampire (which she did. It's why he got invited into her house), she's just so awful. This, in addition to the fact that Elena was under a sirebond, and Caroline is just regularly fucking like that.

You see my point. Anyway, make no mistake, what Damon did is an issue, but it's only as big of an issue in fandom because Caroline is the golden girl to them. They completely ignore the fact Elena has no full knowledge about what went down. They ignore that Stefan or Alaric should have been taking charge against Damon. They ignore that Caroline never so much as utters a peep about exactly why she hates Damon besides him being a "manwhore". Anything they can use to villainize anyone, but especially Elena, where Caroline is concerned? They will. Facts be damned.

#anti caroline forbes #anti klaroline #uhh #elena gilbert #i don't think this is anti her but idk #anti damon salvatore #anti delena #long story short. people hate elena and love caroline so logic doesn't exist there #people also just hate main characters in general #i personally don't fucking like caroline so :]#think that's it #anonymous

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blusical · 4 months

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Problematic Players and You

(PT: Problematic Players and You)

Trigger Warning: This post discusses several triggering or otherwise sensitive topics, including, but not limited to, abuse sexual assault, bigotry, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. Additional Disclaimer: This is not a post defending the actions of athletes mentioned *nor* is it an attack on said athletes (or their fans!). This is about dealing with serious events involving players as a whole.

Have you ever woke up one day and found out that your favorite race car driver said some not-so savory things? Have you ever checked the news one day and found out a hockey player you love was accused of rape? Are you a new sports fan who did research on an athlete you like only to find out they're a straight up creep? And have you ever asked yourself: “Where the hell do I go from here?” when it comes to merch you’ve already bought or the amount of gifsets you’ve made for them? Well, you’ve come to the right post! Because let’s face it, we’ve (probably) all been there, done that and got the t-shirt (Err, jersey).

First off, what defines a problematic player?

Well... there's not really a set definition. Everyone has a different idea of what's 'problematic' and what isn't. However, there are some deeds that athletes do that are... kind of ick, so any of the following could make them be considered very problematic:

-Bigotry (ex. Racism, homophobia). -Cheating (as in cheating on your spouses. Not cheating as in using PEDs even though that too is also kinda trashy). -Abuse, sexual assault, etc. -Questionable/not so great political opinions.

And then there’s athletes who’ve been involved in so many off-ice controversies and allegations that it’s reached a point where regardless of how many are true or not, and no matter how much new information is revealed, they won’t be well liked by fans (Patrick Kane, anyone?). Okay, but why do athletes do this crap in the first place?

Well... there's a couple theories on why some do these things.

Sometimes mental and environmental factors can influence an athlete’s decision making. Say, if an athlete was abused by a coach when they were young, that might factor into any actions, good or bad, a player makes in the future. In cases of bigoted opinions, athletes are raised to have such opinions.

Age can also play a factor into a player’s actions. The younger they are, the more likely they’re going to do stupid shit (Or so I've noticed, please correct me if I'm wrong lmfao). Again. The theories are limitless. However most of the time athletes do these things because... they chose to do that. And a part of that is being because sports culture. Yeah. Sports culture sucks. Who would've known?

So do problematic athletes... stay problematic forever?

Well, yes and no.

As much as our first instinct is to “cancel” said athletes and pressure them to take accountability, we should also give them a chance to grow when they do take accountability instead of pushing the issue further.

However, that also depends on if they chose to grow. Hell, it depends if they even admit to making a mistake or admitting to guilt at all (which is, unfortunately, very impressive in a society like this). If they don’t.. Well, that’s their choice. Best we can do as fans beyond that point is just spread awareness. Remember: 99% of the time celebs won't listen to their fans. Some will. But do not expect your favorite to do the right thing. You will be disappointed. Another thing to keep in mind is that even if changes to character are made, people (us included) will still probably continue to view them differently for a while. As much as we’d like to put the past behind us, that just isn’t easy. (And besides, in the long term this is probably a good thing, since as fans it’s not our place to forgive; that’s up to the people affected). Actually while we’re at it..

Help! What should I do when an athlete (including my favorite) gets into controversy?

It’s always stressful (and sad) when an athlete you’ve admired and looked up to is eventually outed as a terrible person. It’s even more stressful when you’re a newer fan to sports and you just find out about said problematic deeds.

Well, first thing's first: process your emotions, and feelings. And once you're done crying, screaming, whatever action you're doing to process your feelings, spread awareness if you feel comfortable enough doing so. When spreading awareness though: DO RESEARCH AND ONLY SHARE RELIABLE SOURCES. Unfortunately serious allegations almost always have misinformation popping out. Hell, sometimes "allegations" may just be someone causing trouble on the internet (Corey Perry situation, anyone?). If the source is from a random Twitter user (that doesn't work in journalism), or the source is from a site like Deadspin and/or TMZ or any other site that has a history of clickbait, odds are, it's best to take it with a grain of salt. Team fansites (like RMNB, a Caps site) are also not always reliable, so take caution when reading through them as well.

It's better to stick with actually known sources like ESPN, Bleacher Report or a journalist like Elliotte Friedman. Rick Westhead and Katie Strang are really good journalists when it comes to issues relating to hockey. Additionally, do not expect to know *all* the information. Do not demand all information to come out. Sometimes not everything can be shared for legal reasons. Be patient and wait for everything to come out. And even then, don't expect it to be everything that happened (because again, legal reasons). Also, don't expect other people to talk about the incident in question! Do not guilt others into discussing it, do not force others to post about it. Focus on what you can do before focusing on what others can do! After most information (if not all of it), it's up to you to come to your own conclusions. Lastly, regardless of what your decision is, whether you decide to stop supporting them or you choose to believe they did nothing wrong (for any reason), but you're stuck on what to do anyway... Well... and this is probably anticlimactic I know, what to do is... up to you!

Internet wise, your internet space is your space! Your Tumblr blog is your blog! If you wanna stop posting about that player and also delete every single mention of said player outside of spreading awareness? Great! That’s your choice! Wanna keep said posts up but tag them and/or add a disclaimer! Also great! Wanna keep posting them or writing fics about them? Completely fine! Just tag it accordingly and keep in mind why these folks may not like said players. And *please* continue to be critical of said players when they do something wrong. Your favorite is not immune to criticism.

(In other words, yes Hawks fans, you’re allowed to post your Kane gifs and 1988 fics. Just tag it accordingly. And just know that people *will* probably judge you for it).

One thing you should not do however: DO NOT CENSOR NAMES. This fucks with filters and screenreaders (More in-depth post on this here!).

And because apparently this still needs to be said, don’t wish injury or death on the players and for the love of Wayne Gretzky don’t fucking send harassment to their families (seriously why do people do this fucking garbage holy fuck).

Secondly, don’t buy their jerseys or other merchandise from official sites! They will profit off that. If you've already brought it, don't just throw it out. Instead, leave it in storage, sell it or, if you're good at tailoring, try making something new out of it! Additionally (especially in cases of rape, violence, etc), SUPPORT THE VICTIMS INVOLVED. They need it the most.

What about the folks that continue to support said athletes?

If someone continues to post an athlete that’s done not great things, it’s tempting to educate them and tell them (which, if you’re going to do so, please tell them gently and not yell at them, especially if they’re a newer or younger fan who has zero clue what’s going on) But if they already know (which odds are they probably do unless they’re a newer fan), and/or they refuse to stop posting about them after being told, the best plan of action is to just… leave them alone. Just leave them be. Do not bother them further. Do not harass them. Do not send them threats. And for goodness gracious don’t make a callout post or blocklist of every single supporter of said athlete.

(Seriously attempting to make a long blocklist never ends well, especially since half the time the users on said blocklist turn out to be literal children).

That said though, if your friends/mutuals are actively defending bigoted comments and/or making statements that borderline towards abuse apologism, it’s not a bad idea to hold them accountable in a private setting. Yes I said private setting because most drama can be avoided with a private DM. But other than that... someone still writes 1988 fic? Leave them be! Someone still makes gifsets of Alex Ovechkin? Leave them be! Hell, someone still talks about the Staals? Just leave them be! The best course of action is to… just use the block button and/or filter posts accordingly. That’s literally it lmfao.

But why do people continue to support these athletes anyway?

Well it all comes down to the following: A. They have trouble grappling with the fact that they are, in fact, problematic. B. They’re Neurodivergent (especially autistic or individuals with ADHD), or struggling IRL, and kinda rely on those people to function or get through the day.

C. Detaching yourself from a problematic figure is… really easier said than done. It is not easy at all lmfao. D. They're refuse to listen to info. E. They genuinely have no clue what's going on. Either way. Don't judge too harshly. Not everyone can just stop supporting a person/media and guess what? It's not as easy as 99% of Tumblr dot com thinks. Not everyone can just stop enjoying/liking something. And guess what? That's actually O-KAY. Last thing to know.

Lastly, you, yourself, *could* probably be supporting a problematic player right now! And you would never know until much later! At the end of the day, 99% of athletes have done problematic things one way or another. And honestly, if we tried to get rid of every problematic person... there probably wouldn't be any people left on Earth at all. Yeah, some actions are more shittier than ever, but trying to make everything "unproblematic"... is never going to work no matter how you look at it, and that is OKAY.

Remember the most important rule (stolen from someone on discord with the second edited by me!):

Now get out there and cheer for whatever player you'd like.

(Special thanks to @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @tapejob @youneedtolookatthis @restingbuchface @bedardconnor and a bunch of other folks for providing most of the advice/info/tips for this post!)

#post later #hockey culture #hockeyblr #hockey #sports #nhl #pwhl #women's hockey #men's hockey #ask to tag #id in alt #was going to post this tomorrow but considering recent events i feel like it's important for folks to know this #especially since this affects a lot of people #(and as always critique/corrections welcome!)#long post #problematic athletes

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bengiyo · 1 year

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Bed Friend Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, King accidentally triggered Uea when he tried to kiss the back of his neck, and we, the viewers, were made privy to the knowledge that Uea was sexually abused by his stepdad. King apologized, even though he didn't exactly know what was going on, and assured Uea that he would never do anything to make him uncomfortable again. King is getting jealous of his coworkers flirting with Uea. Pock showed back up, and Jade was the only correct person to get security, followed by King insisting Uea report the incident to the police. We left with Pock assaulting Uea in the parking garage.

Trigger Warnings: sexual assault (0:40 to 0:56, 14:20 to 15:20), rape mention (2:58 to 3:08, 15:50 to 16:40), child abuse (15:56 to 17:40, 25:51 to 26:02), post assault bruising treatment (6:40 to 7:25), sexual abuse flashback (14:14 to 15:20)

Alright. I need to pause immediately. James's voice was far too convincing when he played Uea's panic. (0:48 to 0:56).

So relieved King was still around. We should note that in the heated moment he declared himself Uea's boyfriend. Yes, he said it for Pock's benefit, but we know it's what he wants them to be.

I like how King, when he really wants to take care of Uea, frames the request as a favor Uea is granting him.

Props to this show for focusing on the physical aftermath of punching something. You will hurt your hand.

Man, these two do lust really well. It feels comfortable?

They're even showing the bruises Pick gave Uea. Love that King waited until Uea was asleep to apply something to them. Also, Uea's secret smiles are going to destroy me.

Absolutely vile to use Tonkao to force Uea to come back to the house. Did they make James take off his shirt to soften the blow for us?

Oh, gay boys and their sisters.

This is so gross to watch. This man is still trying to abuse Uea.

Though it is super uncomfortable, I'm relieved that if they're going to explore the specifics of what Uea experienced, the more physical work was given to James and not a child actor. Still, James's voice during these scenes is chilling. I keep holding my breath.

Did she really beat this boy with a wire hanger and then lock him in the fucking bathroom again?? That's your response to your son saying he's being raped in his own bedroom?

Man, I wish he'd just gotten Shabu with Jade.

I can't help but wonder what horrors the sister has suffered, too.

Bangkok streets look so dangerous.

Am very relieved that we are consistently showing boys who give head now.

I love King. He may be horny, but he knows something's wrong.

This boy had to celebrate his birthdays alone as a child goddamn.

Oh, Uea finally gave King a smile.

Alright, I know he's been through a lot but biting the cake that way is unhinged.

King's bed is huge, and yet he basically sleeps in the middle because he's trying to be as close to Uea as possible.

Oh, Uea. I get you wanting your life to be private, but I'm so glad someone seems to listen to you.

OUTING. Drone shots!

I feel like King conspired with Gun on this fall so he could stay with Uea.

Love Uea enjoying King letting him take charge all the time.

Uea drunk flirting with some white boy is sending me.

This final shot with the sunset is gorgeous.

Oh, hm, I don't know about the danger hovering around this new character next week.

So, this was a difficult episode, but I'm impressed with James's portrayal of the things Uea has suffered. I'm hoping we get some translated interviews with him and the cast about the preparation and filming for those scenes. I sincerely hope this show doesn't take us down some sort of parent forgiveness arc because I really don't want to dig for that with Uea's mom or stepdad.

#bed friend #bed friend meta #Ben watches

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northoftheroad · 1 year

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I really like your blog and read a lot of things you had to say about Wolfman, so can I pick your brain about Devin Grayson?

A lot of people seem to say she wasn't good for the Nightwing run. Just wanna know your opinions about it

I'm gonna read her run anyways. It's just that I like your takes on things. Especially since you make connections with older comics.

Honestly, I think there is a lot to enjoy in Devin Grayson's stories. In Titans, she wrote Dick as a competent workaholic and the Titans as a group of very close friends. JLA vs Titans has a worried bat-dad, which is always adorable. Dick and Tim have fun together, and Bruce is emotionally complicated in Batman: Gotham Knights. Batman plus Arsenal is great (Roy chews out Batman!). Her story in the Robin 80th anniversary comic has a fun twist. Etc.

Batman: Gotham Knights # 8 & 9

Then there's things I don't like.

The rape. IMO, you shouldn't write rape in comics unless you're prepared to deal thoroughly with the consequences in the story. Admittedly, the sexual assault in Nightwing vol 2 # 93 is probably dealt with more seriously than the Mirage situation by Marv Wolfman, but I still wanted something more. Blockbuster's murder and the rape had an enormous impact on Dick's mental health; we should have got a resolution where Dick could admit out loud (if even only to himself) what happened, where he could get what help he needed and decide to move on. (Preferably, I would also have liked other characters to realise what had happened and not only be assholes…) (That Devin Grayson, in some interview, wanted to call it not consensual instead of rape doesn't help (full disclosure: I don't know if she's backed down on that).)

The retconning of Dick as part Roma. Now, it's for people who are Roma to have opinions about representation; I've seen (allegedly, because who knows what is correct on social media) both Roma people who like it and those who don't. From where I'm standing, it wasn't well done. The only comic arc where a Roma parent is essential to the story is quite problematic; you get the impression that the writer did it… to exoticise Dick and have Bruce talk like a racist…?

Gotham Knights # 20.

Some later stories have acknowledged this retcon, but only a handful of issues from decades worth of comics. Most writers ignore it, and Dick has never been portrayed as being fluent in a Romani dialect or adhering to any customs (other than looking for Romani food and talking about some legend.) He didn't even speak Romani when Devin Grayson wrote him.

How she wrote the relationship between Dick and Barbara. They were supposed to be old and dear friends, apart from a couple. Barbara blamed Dick for being sexually harassed (kissed), and when he came to her for comfort, reeling from Haly's circus being burned down, she asked him to leave after few hours night. That's not a relationship I, as a reader, would root for.

To be fair, she intended to write a story about how Dick went from being happy, to making his life living hell, and presumably end in a new happy place for him. Dick and Barbara are written in a way that would end in their splitting up. (Writers will create conflict because the storytelling needs it, and sometimes we as readers can think it was out of character, or unnecessary.)

I expect I would like her writing better if she could have finished her story. Maybe she would have got together the Dick/Barbara relationship and delivered a satisfactory resolution to the rape. But DC editorial interrupted her plans with Infinite Crisis, where they almost decided to kill Nightwing, and she had to make a rushed conclusion that never went anywhere. And when the Nightwing comic continued, it was in another town and one of the worst Nightwing stories ever.

As I said, I like part of her characterisation of Dick – how he can be ultra serious just as well as joking around, has a tendency to overwork himself, blame himself, he wants to give everyone a chance. But… I know she's said in an interview that she thinks of Dick as a contact junkie* who processes with his body before his head. I'm not down with that. Ok, as an acrobat, you could argue that body memory and responding to the touch of his fellow performers is essential for survival. And Dick might be freer with hugs than Bruce Wayne and Alfred, but that's a very low bar to set. Marv Wolfman wrote a Dick Grayson who was very private and could hardly show his love for Kory physically in public. (To be fair, when Dick dated a few girls in college in the comics from the 70s, he didn't mind holding hands and kissing in public. But, as much as I enjoy citing examples from older comics, the 80s is the start of a deeper characterisation for Dick Grayson.) I read Dick as a guy who's very much in his head – if not for any other reason, Batman must have drilled into him to think and question everything. There are panels where he seeks out solitude or watches nature programmes without talk to relax. And I also read him as uncomfortable with strangers touching or ogling him.

Anyway, happy reading. Of course you should read and form your own opinions. I guess you'll find things to love and things to loathe - I find that's true about most comic book writers and runs, myself 😎

*The way I think about him, he likes everyone, he's sort of a contact junkie — just this incredibly physical (and attractive) person who lives wholly in the corporeal plane and responds with — processes things in — his body before his head or heart. I imagine that he can be hypnotised by a touch the way other people can be stopped dead in their tracks by the sight of money or the promise of true love.

#Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Robin #Batman #Devin Grayson

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