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#Aliens try to invade earth
karmaspidr · 11 months
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Alien Commander: Prepare yourselves, soldiers. Soon we will be within range and we will be soon returning home knowing we have brought further glory to our ever-expanding empire.
Alien Trooper: Commander, can I ask you a question?
Commander: Of course, trooper. But keep it brief. I was told to expect heavy resistance from our superiors and that we must be battle ready when it occurs.
Trooper: That's the thing, Commander. What are we being punished for?
Commander: I'm afraid I don't understand, trooper. How can strengthening our Empire by uplifting another primitive species into it be a punishment?
Trooper: Sir, I don't wish to imply anything, but you do realize that we are invading Terra, right? Locals prefer to call it, Earth.
Commander: That's what the report said.
Trooper: So, you read the report, okay? So you know what the dominant species on this planet is.
Commander: Regular homoseapiants. Nothing special outside a few outliers.
Trooper: Nothing, special?! Sir, you do realize that in the past 15 local cycles, the humanoids that inhabit this planet have pushed back invasions against the Kree, the Skrull, Chitari, Galactus, and even the Mad Titan Thanos. In some cases, multiple times even. They even have more Gods living among them than any system in the universe. Some of the mortals, a seemingly ordinary variant of the 'human' category, have reached God levels of power on their own. Clearly, this is a fight we cannot win, so I ask again. What did we do to be punished like this?
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kizzer55555 · 26 days
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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game
Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 
Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.
The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 
And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).
And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 
Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.
(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).
After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.
#DPxDC#dcxdp#Danny makes a card game to save the world.#Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to ‘beat’ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable.#keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariah’s Coffin)#A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore.#(Sorry Tuck. But it’s true).#And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you!#So…beating him. But it’s not like Danny wanted to fight so…he edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too.#Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine.#It’s based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy.#It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too.#They had SO much fun making this.#Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field.#Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak.#Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parker’s think the three are talking gibberish.)#I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost.#Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM!#Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board.#By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges#And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS.#Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess.#But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for ✨effect✨ Against invaders.#Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions.#While Danny COULD stop crime on earth he’s not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts.#The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of#Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything.#Danny is not aware they think this.#Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this.#Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.
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ketchupwafflez · 6 months
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these are a bit old but i still love him soo much so may i share sporf with the world
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gazelessmenagerie · 11 months
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Would santana be on the same level of hatred as a certain carot
Or is this another type of hatred?
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I'll admit, its like 2nd place to Kakarot levels of hate. Before the banishment thing, it'd be below hating tomatoes and the perfume department asldfjg
It COULD be another type of hatred tho. Like a branch of ' would piss on everything santana owns and set fire to his home. '
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im-a-heartstomper · 8 months
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concept art for a story I want to make 🫶
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sugaryoats · 22 days
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helloooo!! please look at my space guys?? my aliens from another dimension who were compacted into human forms by alien technology (not their own) and are now just living a little life outside of the hivemind they were born into??
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little-pondhead · 9 months
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DP x DC Prompt
There are no more heroes.
Well, okay. Rewind a bit.
Danny has been doing the hero thing for a while now. He’s had a big reveal; everyone has accepted him (including his parents), the GIW disbanded, the Anti-Ecto acts repealed, and generally, everything is going great. Some of the A-Listers are even training as junior ghost hunters to help give him a break from his rogues! (Being Ghost King makes things hectic sometimes, and he just needs the extra help. Sue him!)
The point is, literally nothing is wrong with Danny Phantom’s afterlife.
And then Valerie Gray, the Red Huntress, disappears in front of his eyes.
Danny is baffled! She’s just…gone! Valerie just popped out of existence, like she was never there. But no matter how hard he searches in the Ghost Zone, he can’t find her soul anywhere. His core isn't broken in grief. So she’s not dead. Which is good. So then, where is she?
Some of the others come forward with ideas on how to find her. A few ghosts volunteer to go out into the mortal realm, an area Danny had declared off-limits, to see if she was out there. Danny approves it. He rounds up some of the friendlier (i.e., discreet) ghosts and Amity Parkers and demolishes the outside travel ban.
So everyone spreads out, looking for their dear frenemy and teammate. But it becomes apparent very quickly that something is wrong with the rest of the world.
There are no more heroes.
Every single living superhero on the face of the Earth has just…vanished. Villains are running amok; the countries are in chaos! Some aliens are invading Earth, mythical deities are trying to take over, and society is crumbling to the ground. Everything is on the brink of collapse.
Well, Danny was still there. And so were his people. They were pretty spread out, so could they just…take up the mantles? He also knew where to find the souls of dead heroes in the Zone; surely they wouldn't mind coming out of retirement for a little bit, especially if they couldn't die again. Oh! And that skeleton army leftover from Pariah Dark's reign might be useful in repelling those invading forces.
Honestly, there were more than enough hands to go around! And with the heroes gone, Danny didn't mind letting everyone out for a little break, as long as they followed his rules. They wouldn't stop the search for the other heroes, but hopefully, when they found them, the heroes wouldn't mind Danny's intervention too much. :)
In other words:
Someone fucks up, and all of Earth's living heroes are either wished out of existence or are whisked away to some far-off realm where Danny hasn't checked yet. In the attempt to figure out what's going on, Danny lets the dead run amok over the Earth as they search for clues. The skeleton army repels the invading armies, the souls of dead heroes deal with the world leaders, and his rogues and other Amity Parkers set up shop in place of famous heroes, trying to get the cities under control again.
Basically, they just do their best to keep everything from imploding until the Justice League and others are back.
(And why is it that Danny hasn't disappeared? Well, whatever caused everyone to go poof! only affected living heroes. Anyone heroes that were dead in the first place, or even just half-dead, stayed behind.)
#pondhead blurbs#danny phantom#dpxdc#reveal gone right au#ghost king au#for plot reasons#it doesn't count if the hero had died and then came back to life#lots of heroes would still be around then#but this is me pushing the halfa!jason todd narrative work with me here he deserves the fun#deadman is there too#and he's just thriving honestly. it's so nice to be around his own kind even if the world is ending#maybe ellie is whooshed away too cause she never technically died but she took up danny's moniker when he was crowned#vlad is ecstatic cause danny put him in charge of several states while they looked for clues including Wisconsin#skulker is replacing superman and just has a shitty S painted on his chest and just eats kryptonite like candy the first time he meets Lex#Kitty and Johnny take over in gotham and sam is now the new wonder woman#idk man just stupid stuff like this#the press is flabbergasted cause the fucking KING OF GHOSTS just showed up and he's 14 and just looking for some friends#Danny: hey guys sorry about the zombies and fire i'm just here to find my coworker and lil sister and maybe the other heroes#Danny: in the meantime i'll just let my army into the mortal realm to defend it while we figure out what's going on pls don't yell at us :)#the press: how do we explain this to the justice league when they come back. how do we explain that earth was saved by a 14 year old boy-#also idk which heroes are technically dead but are still kicking so if you feel like someone deserves liminal status slap it on them idc#some villains are trying for world dominance and some are just trying to find their buddies. their fight buds. where'd they go? :(#joker gets bitch slapped by a skeleton two days in and waylon becomes bffs with wulf#danny uses the watchtower as a base of operations and it's the only thing he doesn't want to give up when the heroes are back#i have no plot ideas beyond this#i just want everyone to be baffled that an army of the dead showed up while they were gone and just made sure everything stayed cool#later danny realizes he was technically the ruler of the world for a bit since his people were everywhere keeping the villains in check
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luxaofhesperides · 4 months
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Soulmate AU: First Words + End of the World ; requested by @justwannabecat!
Duke has long since accepted that he doesn’t have great luck. Most things in his life tend to go wrong very quickly, or complicate situations he was already struggling in (see: being a meta and getting his powers in the middle of a fight). Having an incomprehensible soulmark is an unpleasant discovery on the morning of his nineteenth birthday, but not entirely unexpected.
He had been hoping for something simple, a common one like hi it’s nice to meet you or sorry, didn’t mean to bump into you.
What Duke gets instead isn’t even words. 
Scrawled across his left hipbone is a string of symbols glowing a faint green. They’re not in a language he recognizes, and the symbols seem to move, shifting ever so slightly so they look different every time he blinks.
“Well,” he says after a solid five minutes of staring into the mirror, unable to rip his eyes off his soulmate’s words, “I hope theirs looks nicer than mine.”
He spends his birthday in a bit of a daze, enjoying time spent with the Waynes and his friends. It’s hard to be fully present when he’s all too aware of the soreness on his hipbone flaring up each time he moves. It’s hard to keep his mind off of it, wanting nothing more than to search for answers, unravel the mystery of his soulmate’s first words.
“Something on your mind?” Jason asks, as the attention shifts off of him for a brief moment as Harper and Cullen get ready to leave and everyone rushes to give their goodbyes,
Duke shrugs, carefully keeping his hands still so they don’t drift to where his soulmark is hidden beneath his clothes. “Yeah. Nothing you need to worry about, though.”
Jason looks him over critically, then nods. 
Duke resigns himself to being investigated by the rest of the Bats. If he’s off enough that Jason had to comment on it, then that means everyone’s noticed and are trying to figure out what’s happened. They’re not going to ask him, because they think he needs space to work through whatever’s got him so distracted, but they’re also not going to just do nothing. 
This won’t be the first time they’ve done this. Duke expects it. Frankly, it would be stranger and much more concerning if they didn’t try to dig up all his secrets the moment they caught wind of him hiding something.
He’ll tell them about getting his soulmark soon. Soulmarks can appear on any birthday between the ages of thirteen to twenty five; they might suspect he got his, but they won’t be able to confirm.
For now, Duke can keep his soulmate’s first words (whatever that gibberish means) to himself.
He makes the decision then and there, as his birthday party winds down, to tell them in a week.
And because his luck is abysmal, a world ending threat hits five days later and suddenly there is no time for soulmarks and first words.
Duke is the last to arrive at the Fortress of Solitude, hitching a ride from Superboy to get there. The biting cold and the harsh winds keep the place far from the reaches of the rest of humanity, surrounded by nothing but deadly white. 
Desolate as the landscape is, it’s still in better shape than the rest of the world.
Things would be better if it was alien invaders. It would be more bearable if some sort of cosmic colossus tried to eat their solar system. At least then there would be something physical that they could fight.
Instead, the world is breaking apart, the sky and earth both fracturing to reveal glowing green faultlines. Timelines are getting mixed up and muddled; just yesterday, Duke had to evacuate a building that had been demolished forty years ago, then stop a gang leader who wouldn’t be born for another eight years from taking over a neighborhood block and holding the residents hostage. Strange creatures are appearing out of nowhere, crawling out of shadows and tide pools and from beneath the roots of trees, all horrible, monstrous things that go after people with teeth and claws. 
The Flashes and the rest of the speedsters are nowhere to be found. The last time anyone get communication from them, it had been Impulse sending Red Robin a glitchy, barely audible video chat saying something along the lines of “trying to fix—unstable—keep us here—never been alive before.” All things that are very concerning to hear, made worse by the fact that no one had been able to contact them at all. 
The quiet loneliness of the Fortress of Solitude is a welcome change from the constant screaming, death, and destruction that’s taken over Gotham as well as the rest of the world. Last he heard, even Justice League China was at the end of their rope. 
“In here,” Superboy instructs, guiding Duke through the halls. There’s no time to look around at Superman’s secret base. All his focus is stuck on staying conscious for another few hours to see if this gathering of heroes is able to find a solution to the world breaking apart.
Batman stands besides Superman. Both nod at Duke when he enters the room. Wonder Woman is watching over John Constantine as he writes something on the floor, muttering under his breath. The rest of the Justice League lean against each other, visibly exhausted as they wait for Constantine to finish up what he’s doing. A few other heroes are here too, and Duke goes to join them where they lean against a wall, fighting to keep their eyes open.
“Hey,” he greets, voice low. “Hanging in there?”
Wonder Girl sighs. “Somehow. I don’t know how much longer we can do this. There’s just too much…”
“We’ll get through this. I mean, even without us out there, plenty of civilians have formed rescue and relief groups to help with keeping things under control,” Speedy says, gently knocking her arm against Wonder Girl’s. “We just gotta keep going. No giving up.”
“What’s this plan, anyways? I just heard that they needed me here to some attempt to fix things.”
“Well, without the speedsters, you’re kind of the only one who can help with time and power related stuff,” Speedy says.
“That’s definitely a stretch. My powers don’t really have anything to do with time. It’s all just light and shadow.”
Speedy shrugs. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you? Too late to complain about it now.”
Duke doesn’t get a chance to say anything else when a loud clap catches his attention. The entire room goes still and silent as Constantine stands up and surveys the circle and symbols he’s written, taking up an entire corner of the large room. 
“Alright,” he says. “Time to get started. Remember, let me do the talking. If you have to speak, it’s only to back me up or when a question is directed to you.”
Batman nods to the other Justice Leaguers, and suddenly everyone is falling into formation behind Constantine. Duke hurries to join them with Wonder Girl and Speedy, taking a place on the edge of the group where he’s a little closer to the circle than the others. 
Constantine begins chanting. His voice is steady though none of the sounds make any sense, refusing to form themselves into recognizable words, and the air the in the room feels heavier. The chalk circle glows a blinding white and Duke can see magic swirling through the air, his power kicking in the let him watch as reality tears and a glowing star in the shape of a boy comes out of it.
Duke blinks, forcing his power down. The hypnotic swirls of magic fade from sight, but the boy still glows, bright and terrible as he floats above the circle and surveys them all. A crown engulfed in blue flame hovers above his head and the fabric of the cosmos is draped over his shoulders as a cape. 
Just from presence alone, Duke can tell that this figure is now the strongest existence in this universe. He hopes this boy king is kind; no one, not even Superman, would be able to beat him in a fight.
The boy king opens his mouth and speaks, but it’s not words than comes out. A strange static like sound emerges, but light and almost melodic. 
His left hipbone burns.
Duke gasps, hand flying down to it, and the boy king’s gaze snaps to meet his.
The world stands still. No one moves. No one dares to breathe.
And then the boy king drops to the floor and walks out of the circle.
“I thought you said that would hold him!” Batman hisses at Constantine, who is looking more and more distressed.
“It was supposed to! I wrote it specifically to hold the King of the Infinite Realms!”
The boy king glances at Constantine. This time, when he speaks, it’s in smooth English. “Did you name the king in your circle?”
“Yeah, I named Pariah Dark… Bloody hell, you ain’t him, are ya?”
“No,” the boy king smiles, “I’m Phantom.”
The cape and crown fade away, and suddenly it’s not an all powerful, terrifying king standing before them, but a young man with white hair and green eyes who looks Duke’s age. Like he could be any other new generation hero in the room. 
“Phantom,” Duke repeats lightly, just under his breath, but it makes Phantom look at him again.
He walks forward, ignoring the other heroes’ aborted attempts to stop him, coupled with Constantine’s frantic back off motion happening behind him. Phantom leaves the circle and the Justice Leaguers behind to stand before Duke, a soft smile on his face.
“Hi,” he says softly, “I dreamed of you.”
“You—what?”
“I dreamed of you. I have for years now. To think that being summoned was what made us meet—” Phantom breaks off into a breathless laugh.
Duke swallows, then drops his had from where it had been pressed against his hip. “So we’re really—? You have my first words too?”
In the corner of his eye, he sees Batman stiffen up. Maybe he should have just told them the day after his birthday, but in Duke’s defense, this is the definition of extenuation circumstances. 
“First words?” Phantom repeats, “Is that… Do we have different soulmate connections?”
“I think so. Here, everyone gets the first words their soulmates say to them appearing somewhere on their body.”
Phantom’s gaze darts down to Duke’s hip, then back up. “Oh. I get dreams. Where I’m from, we dream of our soulmates, and the closer we get to meeting them, the more we remember the dreams.”
“And you dreamed of me.”
“I did.”
“As touching as this is,” Constantine interrupts, and Duke gets to watch as Phantom rolls his eyes, “We summoned you here for a reason. Our world is falling apart at the seams and we need someone powerful, from the Realms, to help us fix it.”
“Okay.”
“...What do you mean ‘okay’?”
“I’ll help,” Phantom says.
“Just like that? No deal to be made, no price to be paid?”
“Just like that. I’m not one for deals anyways. If I can help, then I will. But I do want to see what the problem is with my soulmate by my side, if you don’t mind.”
Batman steps in, fixing Duke with a steady gaze, a barely noticeable tilt of his head. “Signal?”
“Yeah I’ll go with him. Of course I will. The sooner the better, in fact, because everything’s gone to shit.” Duke turns to Phantom, taking hold of one of his hands. “It is really bad out there,” he warns, “If you need help—”
“I’ll ask for help from others in the Realms,” Phantom says. “No offense or anything, but if it’s really that bad, I doubt living mortals will be able to do much to fix things. It’s why I was summoned, right?”
“Right. Let’s get to it, then.”
There’s a flash of mischief in Phantom’s eyes, and cheeky grin stealing across his face for a moment, before he says, “Aye aye, captain!” and picks Duke up like he weighs nothing and flies up through the ceiling.
Duke is able to hear everyone’s surprised, panicked shouts before they’re outside the Fortress of Solitude and Phantom is flying them away. He only needs a few directions from Duke before he finds the first of the large fractures in the sky.
“Yikes,” is all he says, which is not a great thing to hear. “I think I know how to fix it, though. We’ll need to do a little investigating as to who, exactly, started messing around with reality, but once we find the source, it’ll be an easy fix.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.”
“Even better than meeting your soulmate?”
“I haven’t slept for more than four hours all week. Knowing there’s an end in sight beats everything else.”
Phantom laughs, throwing his head back and Duke can’t help but drink in the sight of him, so ethereal and bright and full of life. “Fair enough! Got any ideas as to where we should start?”
“I’ve got an entire crew of detective vigilantes,” Duke replies. He’s not taking any more chances. No more waiting to talk about important things; he messed up by keeping his soulmark to himself, so he needs to make sure everyone meets his soulmate before shit goes south again. 
“Let’s go find them, then!”
They take off again, soaring through the skies that are barely holding themselves together. 
The world is still ending, and every hero is being stretched thin, but held carefully in Phantom’s arms, racing head first into a solution, Duke can’t help but feel that everything’s going to be alright now. 
He’s had enough bad luck. Now, his soulmate with him, bearing the title of King with grace, things are finally starting to look up.
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Can you please do a plotonic Alien Reader x Damian Wayne?
Basically, the reader is from an alien race that is known to raise their hatchlings in groups/ colonies.
Reader just takes one look at Damian after joining the heros, and was like "yep, that's also my child now."
Reader just helping Damian with his sensory issues and being a somewhat emotionally available parental figure.
- 🦊
Platonic Damian Wayne and Alien male reader
Headcanons
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Imagine the reader and Batman hissing at each other like angry alleyway cats because they both are adoption addicts, and have spotted an orphan at the same time.
You were from an alien species. You were reptilian in appearance, think Argonian from Skyrim, except you are taller and more built, have 6 eyes, 4 arms, and a long flexible tail.
What makes your species special is the fact that most have an elemental power of some sort. For most it isn’t very powerful, but for you it was strong enough that you were able to defend your home planet from invaders, singlehandedly.
Where most of your kind will only control one element, you are able to use all of them, and even able to do things like warp energy, magnetism, liquification, and more.
Your power is what has helped you defend not only your home planet, but earth, and the universe. But it has also hindered your ability to take part in your people’s tradition of raising children in colonies. You are so powerful your duty is to protect the universe, meaning you are far away from home most of the time, which leaves you feeling like you’re missing something most of the time.
Your species feels a deep urge to love and raise young, and things like adoption is very common as all kids are pretty much mutual ground, though children tend to have one or two people they prefer more than everyone else.
This also leads to a lot of outside adoption, as your people see children as most precious and think all children deserve a great future and good childhood.
When you met the justice league for the first time, it was because you were hunting down the current big bad who had wanted to destroy your home planet, and they fled to earth. The league didn’t even have time to take the guy down before you had smited him with lightning strong enough to make Zeus sweat.
It took a while for the league not to think you were a threat, but thanks to the green lanterns having worked with your people before, they were able to explain who you were and act as translators.
Your species doesn’t possess vocal cords the same way earthlings do, resulting you in having to use some of your powers to allow you to speak in a way they understand. There are new heroes on your home planet, so you are able to stay on earth.
Your people see it as a trading of information, like an exchange student program, as they are curious about the league and the league is curious about you, since you are rumored to be very powerful throughout the galaxy.
When you see all the young heroes for the first time you almost have a heart attack, because why would these adults allow the young ones to go out and put themselves in danger like that.
It took some explaining from Hal and other Lanterns to explain the cultural difference, and though you aren’t a fan you accept that its part of their culture, and that children aren’t coddled here like on your home planet.
On another note, you become quite popular with the younger heroes, since you always try to help out and treat them as equals.
The first time you meet Damian the parental part in your biology immediately starts chanting and making noise, pointing at Damian, and yelling “our child now”.
Of course, you can smell he’s batman’s offspring, but you notice that Batman doesn’t meet the standards for a guardian, and before anyone knows it you’ve scooped Damian up and declared him yours.
This of course doesn’t happen one day to the next, it takes a lot of bonding and getting to know each other. Damian has no idea what to do with the fact that you are so willing to be emotionally available to him, as he’s never truly had that.
 When you learn that Damian is autistic (my hc), you immediately start researching autism in humans and how it affects them and their daily lives. This becomes very useful in your everyday life too of course, but it’s mainly for Damian.
Damian liking animals so much probably helps too, since you look like a lizard for the most part. You liking to sunbathe for warmth results in Damian joining you even though he doesn’t need it, and that becomes your spot. That’s when he opens up to you about his issues after a while, and you grow closer.
You start carrying noise cancelling headphones around when you learn Damian gets sensory overload, and use your powers to block out noise or light if it becomes too much for him.
With Damian comes the rest of the bats, and you are more than ready to adopt all of them. You don’t even comprehend how this isn’t normal for earthlings, so when you start to refer to them as your pod or colony, you don’t notice the confused looks you get.
Cue confrontation with Bruce, though to everyone else it just looks like two feral cats puffing up at each other and hissing a bit. You end up having to get outside help to figure it out, and after that you two figure it out.
Some of your teammates and the batkids definitely make fun of you guys for being coparents. I can imagine Jason calling himself a child of divorced parents even though you and Bruce are nothing but friends.
But even though you’ve pretty much accepted all of them into your colony, Damian is still your baby. He’s just young and small and you want to protect him, even though he hates being babied. Damian will never say it out loud but he likes being someone’s number one no matter what.
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inbarfink · 3 months
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I mean, the thing is that fiction about aliens is almost always going to be about some sort of Other on some level. Whatever it’s about demonizing or fear-mongering about some sort of Outsider Group or trying to get the audience to sympathize with the Other via the metaphor of a lovable alien. 
And Invader Zim is kind of an interesting spot there because, like, it’s not just ‘Bad Outsider Out to Destroy Our Beloved In-Group’ or ‘Poor Sympathetic Outsider Being Put-Down by the In-Group’. First thing first because Zim is kinda both. He is both the Outsider secretly hiding inside the in-group plotting their destruction - but the narrative and framing also sympathizes with him and supports his view of the in-group (that humans are stupid and gross).
So he can’t really be A Scary Demonized Outsider when he gets so much narrative sympathy and support, but also… he is a murderous little world-conquering bastard and most of his suffering is generally just him gets exactly what he deserves so he can’t be your classic sort of Sympathetic Outsider either. 
And the other thing is that the in-group is not even really involved in Zim’s conflict. Zim’s biggest challenge in conquering the earth is Dib, another Outsider. Often, despite being a human and thus part of the literal in-group, Dib is an even bigger Outsider to humanity than Zim is.
Zim and Dib are both Outsiders, and Zim isn’t just an Outsider as an Alien on Earth - among his own people he is in the same situation as Dib is, an Outsider in his own in-group. (Not that he can ever admit to himself that is the case). So these two Weirdos are fighting to protect/further the goals of two in-groups that will never actually accept them. 
And so often their main weapon against each other and the primary danger and the source of their suffering for themselves is the same thing; the in-group conformity and enforcement of social norms. 
Dib’s main evidence that Zim is an Alien is, most of the time, just the fact that he looks and acts weird. But also he himself is constantly bullied for looking and acting weird.
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And Zim’s most constant source of anxiety while undercover on Earth is the fact that he’s going to get caught being Too Weird and then not just fail his mission, but get brutally dissected and experimented on. But his best defense against being exposed is… basically just to point out just how much Dib also Diverges From the Norm.
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It’s the story of two Weirdos trying to get the other punished for being weird in some way, while the Normies just kinda look on and laugh at them both. And the actual thing they want, recognition and acceptance from their in-group is the one thing they are doomed to never actually get. 
And honestly, I think that's actually what makes a lot of real-life Outsiders cling to IZ, especially while we’re teens. I think, in a way, the fact that it’s kind of a messy Outsider narrative makes it more relatable to the messy middle-school/high-school experience than something more neatly crafted to be uplifting to the Weird Kids.
I mean, I certainly see the obvious value in fiction that’s actually trying to create a positive narrative for queer teens or autistic kids or maybe just scene kids or any combination of the following. This sort of media is very good, and can be just as important to some folks.
But... also the truth is that when you’re an edgy teen wrecked with self-loathing for Weirdness you don’t even fully understand “There’s nothing wrong with me and all the people making me feel like they are Bad!” can be a hard message to really believe in. Sometimes it’s easier to start from “Maybe I am all the terrible things people say that I am but.. still deserve love and sympathy, I can still be the hero of the story”. 
And because, sadly, the problem of Weirdos attacking each other for being Weirdos using the same rhetoric that’s used to hurt them, just for the sake of approval and recognition from in-groups that are never going to treat either of them as nothing but a joke - is not a phenomenon exclusive to the Silly Alien Invader Nicktoon.
And Dib and Zim’s rivalry is a great basic framework to explore it both in analysis of the canon and in fanworks.
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pablitogavii · 6 months
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I'm sure
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"I told you it's not a good time to talk about this!" Pablo was groaning while you paced around his room angrily feeling both frustrated and tired from him.
"It's never a good time for you! When you want to be between my legs it's a perfectly good time but when I want to talk seriously about us, you're tired..or you had a hard training session..or freaking aliens invaded the platen Earth!" you said relying on sarcasm as you defense mechanism.
Truth being told, what you and Pablo had was nothing short of perfect...he was your childhood friend...your parents are really close...he protected you from all the boys in high school and now he became your man...or did he?
You were starting to feel very self conscious that many girls flirt with him thinking he is single, and even though eh never responds to it, it angers you that you're not official. You never really had a talk about it.
"Amor please! I literally can't feel my legs right now!" he said and that only angered you more. You wanted answers NOW and weren't backing up until you got them!
"Don't "amor" me Pablo! I couldn't feel my legs last night when you were in the mood for more but I still wanted to make you happy!" you blurred out not even realizing what you said until you saw his smirking face. Not the right time Gavira!
"I'm just that good, amor" he winked and you rolled your eyes really not in the mood for this right now. He needs to take you seriously!
"FUCK YOU GAVI! I'm done! You hear...DONE!" you grabbed your hoodie from the chair about to walk out of his room but he was already by the door blocking your exit path.
"I'm sorry amorcito..please..stay..I didn't mean to upset you this much..and don't call me Gavi..please?" his puppy dog eyes were working and you hated that fact. He raised up your head and you sighed shrugging your shoulders and walking back to sit in the chair.
"Please..come here???" he said opening up the comforter for you and you sighed moving towards the bed and slipping in still keeping your distance from his warm inviting body. Ughh how badly you wanted to cuddle him right now!!!
"If you're not sure about me...just say it...and maybe I can find someone who is" you spoke feeling your own heart break at the thought of being with anyone besides Pablo. He was your first and only boyfriend...one who took your first time...one who owns both you body and heart. Deep down you didn't want to lose that...
"W..what did you say to me!?" his dominant personality got triggered by that statement as his mind got clouded with images of another man having you...having what's only ever been his.
"I said..I can find someone else???" you smirked knowing that will get to his last nerve and it did as he was already on top of you growling and pulling your legs around his torso.
"I thought your legs were hurting???" you teased but he was in no mood gripping your things and making you whimper. FUck! You LOVED when he got like that!!!
"You can't do that!" he was yelling despite the fact we were in his house and his parents were right down stairs. Boy didn't care about anything anymore those words really sobering him up good right now!!!
"Why not???" you played dumb and he knew you were waiting for his words slowly raising up your hips to rub against him. FUck you were always such a fucking tease!!!
"I was the first one...hm...to get inside that tight little pussy...and stretch it up really nice for me...it belong to me princesa...you..you belong to me" he was doing his best not to groan when you teased him repeatedly trying to stay quiet enough not to be heard downstairs.
"And yet nobody knows that...do you know how many guys walk up to me thinking I'm single..wanting to take me back to their home...hm and bury themselves deep inside of your pussy?" you whispered into his ear licking it afterwards and he had to let out a groan after that.
"Amor! Behave!" he said sternly and you giggled rolling your eyes adn shaking your head no' playfully. He was mistaken if he thought you were gonna let him go so easily.
"Or what? I'm a single girl...I might let them?" you smirk and this time he lost it gripping your neck and moving down close to your face.
"You're mine! Only MINE!!!" he growled before kissing your lips feverishly biting your lower lip aggressively that you whimpered in pain mixed with pleasure. YOu were slowly melting into his hands...fuck!
"Are you sure about that???" you said and he shook his head realizing that no matter what, you always get what you want...you really got him wrapped around your little finger.
"I'm sure! My girlfriend!" he yelled before kissing your lips and slowly moving down your neck and chest marking up your skin while you smiled satisfied for hearing those words leave his mouth ;)))
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authenticaussie · 12 days
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Alright so I just finished Batman:TAS recently and started watching Superman:TAS and it delights me that the first episode is literally just: superman??? Who dat. This is aliens :)) (even if Brainiac does say "human error, Jor-el"). So obviously I do now have aus. Obviously <3 shout-out to @midnightluck for the Justice League, @cer-rata for Terry and @suzukiblu for Jordan + putting up with the initial ramble
So anyway Brianiac's satellite upload gets fucked up by Jor-el either in petty revenge or as an accident, and a part of Brainiac ends up on Clark's ship. The vague explanation I have is that Brainiac is the AI for everything and in TAS, Jor-el also does not realise he is "evil" and thus still uses his help as a navigator for Clark's ship while he is initially building it. The ship, however, is offline to prevent the Kryptoninan council from finding out about it, and thus, that section of Brainiac does not get taken back into the satellite upload.
As it is BARELY the 90's when the Kents find Clark after the crash, Brainiac is summarily useless thanks to the current lack of wifi, but manages to mostly teach himself English and Kal kryptonian, and decides that. >:( since they're BOTH there, they can BOTH be vestibules of kryptonian knowledge. And also Kal can get him more earth knowledge. The vibes entirely are: "Weird aspects of kryptonian culture taught by an unbodied dickhead historian" and while the argument is "but brainiac is evil!" Main brainiac is. But this is a subsection of Brainiac :) he learnt more stuff + Clark loves him soooo much.
Unfortunately. That is His baby now. He is not impressed with his baby. His baby bought him a growing chick the other day, with big sad eyes, and said the kryptonian word for fluffy!!! in such a mournful tone that Brainiac resigned himself to teaching kal about how growing up worked and that the chicken needed feathers to fly. This explanation ends with Clark collecting feathers and trying to jump off the barn roof, and he thus resolves to extend further co-parenting issues to the Kents. For his own personal convenience, of course.
It does of course ALSO mean that Brainiac, who has a loose definition of the words "surveillance state" absolutely gets in at the ground floor when the internet first starts up. Clark's influence relegates him to the background, but he is good at hiding ! So they don't realise they have an AI in the wifi! But ohhhh boy does brainiac scare a few people at first. Potentially tries to do his "i am helpful" schtick before realising he is not useful in this because he's basically just. Seems completely like a troll? He's some random person who's invaded the internet!!
However he is also the inspiration for google 😂 and calls it his younger, stupider sibling. It is also funny to me to think about earth compsci engineers having NO idea why sometimes the internet acts SO DAMN WEIRD <- brainiac's fault.
As a result though, when Clark starts up as Superman, Brainiac does NOT let the Kr project off the ground. Files are misdirected and blackmail is gathered. Until one day Kal says something sad about how he'll never be able to have a great romance, because he's terrified of telling anyone the alien thing, and that he's always thought about kids but he's kinda terrified because what if he hurts someone- and Brainiac is like ah yes wait. I shall fix this for my Only Kryptonian.
TWO kids for the price of one?!? he finds, after he goes searching, and then further prodding finds THIRTEEN children, extraordinary. Not all of them are viable because the earth scientists truly are incapable but Brainiac can fix the issues with their technology to ensure Kal has the children he wants.
"How many children did you think of, kal-el?" he asks, and Clark laughs at how kindly his friend/uncle/grandfather figure treats his silly selfishness.
"Oh, man, sometimes I think: as many as I can carry! But then- I don't want Superman to get in the way of being a good dad. Too many and I won't be there for them like I should, you know? I worry about that, I guess."
"As many as you can carry is a significant amount," Brainiac says dubiously, already imagining teaching these numerous children kryptonian culture and Also that they are Not chickens. "I do not think that can be fulfilled effectively."
Five minutes later Clark has five children and has realised his matchbox apartment and budding romance with Lois Lane are both complicated things he will now have to resolve. He's basically commuting daily to the Daily Planet from Smallville, thank god for superspeed and his endlessly patient parents, jfc
(Children I was thinking of: the destablised kon!clone from SB94/The Ravers, Kon, Match, Bizarro, and Mia. Alternatively they went old-school with Biz so Brainiac didn't get a chance to help him/he's older than the other kids when Clark finally mentions wanting kids, to Brainiac, and thus Biz ends up like. The kids' uncle. There ARE technically twelve clones before Kon. I could've given you thirteen-fifteen kids, Clark.)
Anyway this does mean that either a) when Lois finds out Kal is superman this is not his biggest secret, b) Kon rocks up as Superboy and Lois, once she finds out Clark is Superman, immediately goes: WAIT BUT SUPERBOY'S YOUR KID. ARE YOU MARRIED??? or c) everyone at the Daily Planet thinks Clark just. Got really unlucky with different people he slept with and someone in the world's wildest stroke of luck they all ended up pregnant. Because Clark Does Not mention a partner when it is eventually revealed he has kids.
He probably does keep them a secret for a while though. A) He doesn't want them to have to try and be "normal" since they're only just out of the pod and B) I feel like, weirdly, Clark is somehow that co-worker that people like. barely know anything about. You like them and they're so helpful! and good-natured! and then you get him in the office secret santa and realise you're not even 100% what his favourite colour is or if he has a pet.
Anyway, Lois: he is NOT expecting Lois to get pregnant and they have to have a Long talk about it because Brainiac is. :) Being an asshole about species compatibility and the fact that it is "not natural" for Kryptonians to be created biologically rather than properly, in a pod, and also: Clark already has five freaking kids. That's a lot of kids! Are they going to be okay having a brother that much (at least five-ten years I'm thinking, depending on if we go: Brainiac gives him multiple children of multiple ages, or multiple young children of the same age,) younger than them??? And then there's Chris, too, who rocked up just after Clark and Lois started dating, and is still pretty high needs because he only mostly speaks Kryptonian (and is lowkey terrified of Brainiac, so Clark's main babysitter is out) (also please please imagine how freaking cute the subplot of "chris realises this brainiac is not the nightmare his stories told him about; watching his new siblings do things that Brainiac would have killed them for, terrified for them because he heard the stories of how long Brainiac bided his time--)
But this is also: how many kids can we give clark, the fic, and thus they have Jon, and then Jon exhibits so many kryptonian characteristics and Lois doesn't mean to but she's a little wine drunk and says, "i love them, you know, they're all perfect, Jon's perfect, I was just- I'm terrified for him. If we raise him right he's gonna be just like his dad…and you know what? I was wanting my own little Lane. Someone to follow my footsteps. I'm feeling a bit outnumbered here, haha!"
Brainiac: hm. I will amend this. (Makes and artificially grows human!Jordan so he displays more human genetic characteristics As Lois Wants)
Brainiac: I have created Jon-el's twin for you, Lane. You are welcome.
Lois: um what
Clark: honey no you can't talk about children with Brainiac he will make more
Lois: WHAT.
Lois: OUR CO-WORKERS KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TWINS, KENT.
Clark: …. you're gonna have to be one of those weird "I didn't know I was still pregnant" stories…. 😂
Lois: 😭 Clark you know those are only funny when they are NOT HAPPENING TO ME
Clark: you didn't know you were pregnant….. literally
Lois must engage in the gaslighting of all of her coworkers <3 What do you mean you didn't realise she had twins she's shown you both of them? Of course they look the same they're babies. Of course she always had twins. She carried them. Did you carry her babies? Of course she would know. Isn't that right, Clark? …. isn't that right, Clark?
Clark: "Where else would she'a gotten a baby from, guys? An alien?"
Brainiac: hello i have delivered the child. Where is my thanks? It has still not been conveyed? I am doing the Literal Best as the Literal Best AI ever? Excuse me? You ignore Brainiac?
Brainiac: death for one thousand humans-!!!
Martha: 🥰 Brainiac I'm so proud of you for always making sure these kids are taken care of. Giving us Jordan! Oh, you marvellous robot
Brainiac: …. acceptable, Matriarch Kent
either that or Lois shoots herself in the foot and everyone thinks Clark is STILL the man with the world's worst luck and the strongest genetics ever:
"Lois, honey…how are Jon and Jordan so close in age? If they're not twins?"
"Uh- Jordan is adopted!"
Everyone: looks at Jordan, who is Jon's splitting image
Everyone: …..okay
Anyway because this AU is wildly cliche, very obviously the Bit of Brainiac that helped Clark grow up re-integrates with Brainiac prime during a Big Dramatic Battle where all of the Superfam are getting hurt, and manages to stop/halt Brainiac prime from hurting Clark and the Kryptokids at the cost of his existence.
Jordan gets to punch it in the circuits cause he's the only one not affected by kryptonite but still has the general invulnerability. (And then Jon and/or Kon and meeting the LoSH and they realise their grandfather Brainiac has very much been continued in Brainiac 5's code :3 for an open-ish happy ending of "hey good exists forever and always regardless of heritage")
GRANDPA LEARNS LOVE AND AFFECTION.
GRANDPA CHANGES FROM GENERAL SELF SERVICE AND SELFISHNESS AND REALISES HE LOVES KAL AND THE KENTS AND HE WILL PROTECT THEM
GRANDPA ALSO WANTS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET. There is a constant battle and it does work for a while because he is elected babysitter of the kryptokids and he is only a small part of Brainiac, five kids does stretch the circuits he developed from Clark's pod, but it's a constant cycle.
"Kal-el, son of house of el, I demand google, I have not finished investigating the 'man of Bats'. Why are there two variations of his name?"
"You mean Dark Knight?"
"THERE ARE THREE? KAL-EL, PROVIDE ME WITH THE WIFI IMMEDIATELY--"
Also when Brainiac finds out that Clark's birthday falls on a human holiday he. He tries. He tries to do pranks. Most of them are vaguely and accidentally evil (Chris cries when Brainiac takes over the internet for the day and makes every search engine answer questions wrong), but he tries. He knows Clark likes pranks! He is trying to participate! It's family bonding!!!
Braniac: It is your 33rd April fool's day.
Clark: Yep!
Braniac: I have finally decided to assist you with a prank.
Clark:...oh?
Braniac: Behold! (Small boy with dark hair, blue eyes and a square jaw walks in, dressed in a decent little suit.)
Clark: Braniac you CANNOT keep making...Wait. No. No you didn't--
Braniac: A prank to share with your closest friend!
Braniac: I have been calling him "Bruce" for my records, but you may want to pick something else for clarity.
Clark: 😦😳😬💀
(And thus we have Terry)
Also, while Clark is pretty secretive about his kids, when/if any of them go out with a Superfam name, and/or after he gets closer with the Justice League, there are little slip ups. He does really love his kids!!! And at the point where he's joined the JL he's been with Lois for a few years now and is used to mentioning them every now and then at the Daily Planet/trauma sure does bond you together :) and he trusts the core members of the JL pretty well. Someone makes fun of Bruce for his "hoard" of children and his "adoption problem" and Clark snorts and then chokes. Bruce has barely adopted Tim and/or has only just gotten Cass. Four? Please, Clark's almost at double digits.
Or Hal is talking about the fact that he doesn't know what to get his niece for her birthday; Clark asks how old she is, and goes "Seven? Oh, yeah. Go for Monster High, it's really big right now. The dolls are pretty cool."
"Lol why do you know so much about dolls, you have a secret collection-"
"What? No, my daughter likes them."
Hal:
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Barry complains about how many birthdays he has to go to and Clark laughs. "Oh, tell me about it! Mia, Mark ((Match)), Chris and Mara all had birthday parties for their school friends in the same week - thank god for superspeed, right?"
Barry, who was talking about volunteering to visit kids' birthday parties at different orphanages in Central: Clark what are you talking about.
Also, Clark's an idiot and decides to introduce Brainiac's "prank" to Bruce on the watchtower because hey! It's neutral ground! And none of his kids can hear into space, thank fuck.
Clark: so....Bruce....you know how you were complaining about being an empty nester. Now that Damian's gone to college. Well. Hm. (pulls Terry from behind him) Surprise!
Bruce: .......You have a new child.
Clark: er. Well. sort of!
Terry, staring at Bruce like the autism creature: O_O
Bruce: .....I have a new child.
(also probably terry's backstory then includes some amanda waller induced kidnapping and potentially a bit of amnesia and adoption by another family but hey, he finds bruce again eventually!)
(also match does try and be the badboy of the family and does hang out with thad, when thad comes up to kill Bart, but. they both just. accidentally vaguely rehabilitate each other? They're not good, but they don't murder, at least. It's a low, low bar. When Clark tries to disappointed-face him, Match just says he's following in Grandpa Brainiac's footsteps and does Clark REALLY expect him to disregard a family legacy-- and you can give him some suicide squad angst or whatever, but the fam is still. there for him.)
(Mia and Kara get into a fist fight when they first meet; then they are best friends. Mia's not great at 'being Kryptonian', especially because she was one of the first attempts, and as per canon is technically a human who they tried to overwrite with Kryptonian DNA, and thus doesn't entirely understand Kara's connection to their 'home', but as a result she also ends up being Kara's confidant in it, because unlike Kal she does understand being taken away from your home and not being able to go back to it, and yet does not have...the same connection the way the other members of the Superfam do, and the disconnect allows Kara to actually talk about Kyrpton instead of mourn)
(Kon does try and grab the spotlight; Clark is trying to let him have freedom, after both Mia and Match went a bit....bitey at his attempts to keep them safe until they were older, but he's still the more naive of his siblings. Thankfully for Clark, he does get to introduce Kon to Robin, and while they don't hit it off, it is enough to mitigate the worst of the fallout of Rex's sleazy bs and Knockout's crimes ): When he joins YJ Clark is both proud of his heroism and a little scared that one of his kids is actually deciding to follow in his footsteps.)
(Mara is Kon's destabilised clone, from when he learns about paul westfield. We did not have enough girls in this family and thus part of their journey of self-identity was the fact that in a family of loud personalities they weren't great at speaking up; it takes a while for them to admit they want a new name and to use she/they pronouns, but by the time Jon and Jordan are five everyone's used to the change. Mara and Kon are closest, even though Kon and Mark/Match are technically sort-of twins; they clash waaay too much in temperament and personality. Kon was much better at playing protector to his little sibling, especially after they came out, and Mara shares "Supergirl" with Kara - she's only a backup member of the titans, though, and has the compassion and strength for heroism but sometimes too much empathy. Does a lot of relief work and peaceful outreach programs. They love a lot.)
(Chris?? no self sacrifice here!!! He has a bunch of fucking siblings with TTK, he is NOT going into that portal)
(There are two Nightwings; every now and then they debate who should switch to Flamebird, jokingly, and yet both of them have perfectly valid arguments - it's kryptonian! / I look good in blue! - and thus it never comes to fruition. When Mia and takes on Flamebird they give it up entirely; it helps that Chris ends up doing a lot of intergalactic work, so there isn't much confusion on earth with the call sign.)
When Jon is old enough to want to switch from Superboy he 100% puppydog eyes Chris into giving him the Nightwing handle so he can give it to Dami, and snags Flamebird from Mia. Dick decides he can live with that and is trying to take care of his own kid so is semi-retired (and can snag it back from Dami if he ever gets too bored).
For a bit there are def still two Flamebirds, but then Mia and Chris decide to team up for intergalactic stuff and to bully Mara into more fistfights, so then they're Trio and just go by Mar-El, Lor-Zod, and Mi-El. I know that is not how female names work on Krypron but I also think Lois Lane, who kept her name and also gave both Jon and Jordan her last name, hyphenated, heard of that shit and went "absolutely not". Either that or Mara decides to keep her Kryptonian name as Mar-El and Mia is Mia Kal-el, or copies her mom and is like naw Fuck This, especially considering her.....lack of general connection to Krypton? Could be fun for any :3 (Or maybe in space she just goes by Lane; time for her semi-mom to get recognition. Mara is already showcasing the house of El, Chris is rehabilitating the house of Zod, she's gonna kick butt for the house of Lois.)
....Though this does potentially mean i have accidentally called Match "Mat-el" and the Barbie jokes from that. Would be. Iconic.
Anyway that's the Grandpa Brainy au! Tune in next week when I force Cerata to watch Arthur and the Invisibles with me and start talking about bug-prince Kon-el and Lois' adventure to save her husband from a tiny evil overlord.
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jesncin · 5 months
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Coddling Colonizer Guilt
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"Performative diversity is when MAWS features a Native American variant of Lois Lane in the multiverse episode only to end the season on a Thanksgiving episode."
...is something I like to joke with my friends as a shorthand for referencing MAWS' squeamish approach to politics while still trying to reap the clout of "diverse representation". I want to get my thoughts out there and perhaps start a discussion over why this feels off.
Some disclaimers: Firstly, I'm not Native American. Understand this is an observation I'm making from an outsider perspective with no personal authority. I'm just a disappointed Asian Lois Lane fan. Secondly, I know the MAWS crew/creators had no malicious intent in any of these (what I consider) poor writing decisions. I'm simply here to challenge and analyze these narrative and visual choices.
MAWS takes a fairly controversial take on Superman mythos so far. Unlike Superman's historic roots as an allegory for Jewish immigrants with Clark coming from a Kryptonian socialist utopia (leading the imperfect people of Earth to a better tomorrow), MAWS chooses instead to reimagine Superman as a descendant from a planet of "alien invaders". If the leaked(?) concept art (warning potential spoilers for s2) is to be believed, Clark is the direct descendent of the leaders of the "Kryptonian Empire". Supposedly gone are the parents of Superman being scientists that warn of the destruction of their home planet- instead we have the "proud, loving, brilliant" "leaders of the Kryptonian Empire".
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While we don't know if this is the direction the show is going in, there are already cryptic hints of it being planted and thematic elements set up that point to it being a possibility. Clark had spent a majority of the season wondering what/who he is (being incapable of talking to Jor-El's hologram because of a language barrier) only to find out his supposed origins in episode 9. He's devastated learning that he's an alien invader and, once he regroups with his friends, angsts about believing he's a weapon sent from Krypton to invade Earth. Asian-Lois Lane and Black-Jimmy Olsen assure White-passing-alien-man Clark Kent that he's different and not like other colonizers. Clark ultimately saves the day, proving he's an exception. It's curious then that the season ends on Thanksgiving.
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As I've mentioned before, MAWS is exhaustively squeamish with getting political. Whatever happens in the show that resembles "themes" is quickly contradicted with very little consistent internal logic. One minute Superman is supposedly a threat that "wipes out good American jobs", should "go back to where he came from" and Lois makes a hope speech about how we shouldn't treat people who "are different" and "don't look like us" (??) with cruelty (so Clark's an immigrant going through xenophobia?) and the next he's a redeemed colonizer (a more prominent thematic arc). One minute Clark is "different" and scared of being othered- likened to a gay couple and allegorically closeted, and the next his friends call him out for being a lying liar for not disclosing his marginalized identity within a week (the narrative frames Lois and Jimmy as being in the right). This show's writing is non-committal with what it wants to say, and largely goes on vibes. That is to say I don't think the writers intended for the themes of colonizer guilt to accidentally tie into Thanksgiving as a set piece for their final episode.
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I'm sure the reason the writers chose Thanksgiving as their final episode is because it's "relateable". Half the episode is dedicated to slice of life family reunion shenanigans and the dang turkey still not being cooked through. But in choosing Thanksgiving, the writers told on themselves here with their biases. The existence of Thanksgiving implies the existence of genocide (of Native American people) by colonists in the MAWS universe. And yet Black Jimmy Olsen doesn't know what racism is (Mallah and the Brain give him a judgmental stare as Jimmy admits he can't relate to being violently marginalized) and Asian American Lois Lane doesn't understand immigration and xenophobia (constantly being entitled to Clark's immigrant identity, being incapable of comprehending why he would keep it a secret, because secrets are lies). The MAWS crew wanted a "relateable" set piece but in doing so ended up reinforcing the historical revisionism the holiday entails. A foreign colonizer sharing a meal with his friends of color on Earth, whose culture, history, and identity are all white washed.
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I would like to challenge this idea that Thanksgiving is somehow the "relateable" choice. Why pick this holiday? Why not celebrate Thanksgiving as a National Day of Mourning (as some Native Americans do)? Why not pick any Jewish holiday as a nod to Superman's creators (ignoring this version's colonizer interpretation for a second)? Why not pick Lunar New Year, a holiday celebrated by many people including Koreans (Seollal in South Korea)? It could've been another fun opportunity to showcase Lois' heritage, and create a fusion of cultures from Jimmy and Clark's families. At its most non-political and secular, why couldn't they pick any weekend? This is what happens when a show doesn't consider its world building and setting in a holistic way. MAWS will nod to xenophobic rhetoric, portray allegorical queer marginalization, and make the vaguest nods to systemic bigotry (Prof Ivo displaced a whole neighborhood! Yet we never hear from those figurative displaced people). But it does nothing to discuss any of that on a deeper level. Its characters of color don't know what racism is and Thanksgiving is just a fun family reunion, guys.
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All this and they had the audacity to sneak in a Native American Lois Lane in the multiverse episode?? Why is she, out of all the Lois Lanes in this screencap, the only one in full traditional wear? Why isn't she in a smart casual business fit like Black Lois and STAS white Lois? Would she not have been recognizably Native American to the non-Native audience otherwise? Isn't this tokenizing? Do you think she has a xenophobic dad in the military like Korean American Lois does?
But that fits MAWS' approach to diversity, doesn't it? Surface level cultural nods, maybe make Lois wear a hanbok one time, and let the audience eat it up. Never mind that both Korean American Lois and Native American Lois have been stripped of their culture and history in every other aspect.
I use the word "relateable" a lot here, but I think the important question to ask is "relateable for who?". 'Immigrant' is too charged a word, so MAWS universalizes Clark's marginalization to "being different". Superman isn't even an immigrant in this version, that was all a smokescreen for the twist that he's actually a descendent of colonizers! Being wracked with colonizer guilt is way more relateable to the white audience than being an immigrant, surely. Thanksgiving is more relateable than celebrating any culturally specific holiday our "diverse reimagining" could have represented. Characters of color being functionally white (in a way that doesn't threaten middle America) is way more relateable. MAWS is a show that doesn't want to delve into Native American history. It would rather put a Native American Lois hologram on a pedestal and call it a day.
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All is fair in love and Mario Kart.
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Wanda Maximoff x Avenger fem!reader.
A/N: I hope you enjoy and I apologize for any mistakes! Also comments, reblogs, shares and likes are super appreciated, thank you! :)
Translation: “Sestra.” Sister.
“Detka.” Baby.
“Amor.” Love.
Word count: 1,446.
Masterlist.
You should have known.
You should have known agreeing to a Mario Kart tournament with the Avengers was a bad idea.
But you were excited to try out one of the many new versions of the game.
Excited at the prospect of the nostalgia it would bring as it reminded you of simpler times.
Times where you weren't too worried about the next big bad. Times where aliens weren't invading and wreaking havoc on earth.
Honestly, this was all just supposed to be innocent fun. You relaxing while you played your favorite childhood game.
But when Tony caught you playing in the TV room of the compound and he made a bet that you just couldn't refuse, you found it hard to back down, and as many of your other teammates joined, your girlfriend included, it all got too out of hand.
On one team it was Pietro, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Peter and you.
On the other team it was Vision, Thor, Bruce, Clint, Wanda and Tony.
Once the tournament began, you all played like your lives depended on it, pouring out all of your skills into each round. The competitiveness arising in all of you a tenfold at the stakes that were given.
There was coercion, and threats being thrown around, anything to ensure a win that didn’t include using your powers, it was there and having both teams at a tie as the final round was about to commence, you can feel the tension in the air as the last two players are randomly chosen and you gulp when you realize it’s you versus Wanda.
“Alright lovebirds, it all comes down to you two,” Tony begins as you shake your arms up and down, bouncing on your toes as if you're about to enter the boxing match of your life. “Whoever wins this round ensures the win of their team. Remember the winning team has no chores for 3 months, losers must take on those chores, got it?” He says, and both you and Wanda nod, “okay, go!”
Beginning the round against your girlfriend had you nervous to say the least, Wanda showing promising skills from her previous rounds as she quickly picked up ways to ensure her success. But as you finish the first lap of the race you quickly realize you're definitely going to beat your girlfriend, your skills slightly better than hers as you’ve played many times before and your loud thoughts cause Wanda to throw you a quick side glare.
“So smug detka, already thinking you’ve won when there's still 2 more laps to go,” she says, accent prominent in her competitiveness.
“Sorry amor, but what can I say? I'm just that good,” you say, shrugging with a smirk as Wanda gapes when you hit her with a series of objects, making her character move onto last place.
“Oh, you are so going down sestra,” Pietro exclaims happily, bouncing in his spot.
“Shut it Piet,” Wanda grumbles angrily. “Baby,” the witch begins with a sweet voice, causing you to tense, “if I lose, just know that no kisses will be given to you for the 3 months that it takes for me to complete my punishment,” your girlfriend says in a singsong tone and her threat makes you falter, making you immediately go from 1st to 5th place.
“Whoa, no, no wait. You can't do that! You can’t take kissing away from me,” you pout, “that's not fair!”
Wanda merely shrugs, a smug smirk on her face, knowing that you can't live without her kisses.
“Okay, hey! No!” Natasha exclaims suddenly, snapping her fingers beside you, “focus up Y/L/N, because if we lose this tournament, I will make sure you don't get to kiss Wanda for 3 months, you got that?” The redhead threatens back and you gulp using your objects to make it back to first place.
It's the final lap and Wanda's character is in 2nd place trailing right behind you, you could feel the tension in the air at this moment, everyone holding their breaths as they await a winner.
Quickly you cast your eyes to the bottom corner of the screen and see that Wanda has one final shell in her arsenal as you have a banana peel and by the looks of the approaching finish line, you know for certain your girlfriend is going to use it on you to help ensure her win.
So what you do before she has a chance to hit you is, you place yourself right in front of her character and deploy the banana peel causing Wanda's character to spin out of control just before she has a chance to hit you with her shell, making you win first place.
“Fuck yeah! Way to go Y/N,” someone from your team exclaims, as the rest of the group have their hands thrown in the air in celebration, rounding you immediately to hug you for ensuring their victory.
As you and your team celebrate your win Pietro suddenly jumps up onto the coffee table.
“Do you know how many basic bitches would kill to be like me,” he says as he fake sweeps his shoulders, “so many! I am a king, I am unstoppable, I rule the world!” He exclaims and the opposing team roll their eyes at the speedster’s antics.
“Oh please Piet, you didn't even win one of your Mario Kart rounds, get down,” Wanda says, pulling her brother off the table.
Smiling widely due to your victory and your girlfriend's actions you approach Wanda and pucker up your lips jokingly, “celebratory kiss?” You ask, as you get close to her face.
But before you can reach her lips, Wanda's hand comes in between your faces, “no, shut up, I'm mad at you for winning, so get away from me,” the redhead says, shoving your face softly causing you to let out a laugh.
“I'm sorry amor,” you begin, approaching your girlfriend slowly, “but I had to win, Nat is scary!" You say as you reach her, your arms go around Wanda's waist, “I definitely did not want to know what she was going to do to prevent me from kissing you for three months if I lost us the tournament,” you whisper, eyes quickly glancing towards the redhead assassin that's standing across the room and Wanda chuckles softly, arms going around your neck to play with the baby hairs at your nape.
“Oh, my poor big baby,” your girlfriend teases with a smirk and you roll your eyes.
“Yeah, that’s easy for you to say, she didn't threaten you! She may be small, but she's mighty,” you say, whispering softly in order to prevent your words from reaching the assassin's ears.
“Oh really, so I’m small? You want to start shit Y/L/N, is that it?” Natasha asks, as she suddenly stands behind you.
You turn around quickly, “no. No! I'm not starting anything! Also how the fuck are you already behind me?” You exclaim, eyes wide in shock and fear, “and hey, I said small, but mighty! So please don't hurt me,” you say, going behind Wanda for protection and the team laughs at your antics due to your fear of Natasha and the height difference between you and your girlfriend, your frame still in clear view behind Wanda.
“You won us the tournament, which means no chores for three months, so you're safe for now, but next time I won't be so kind,” Natasha says, a teasing glare on her face.
“Okay, okay. I'm sorry,” you say hands up in surrender, then you grab Wanda's hand and softly pull her towards you, “also, you know what? I'm just going to go to bed before I put my foot in my mouth again, so bye. Goodnight losers, enjoy your chores,” you say grinning smugly as you walk away from the group. Suddenly stopping when you feel Wanda stop from beside you, her hand being pulled out of your grasp and you turn to see a frown on your girlfriend’s face as a slight glare is directed at you, “oh shit, wait, no, not you baby, not you. They’re the losers,” you say, smiling sheepishly.
“Hey, so uh, where's that foot at Y/L/N?” Clint teases with a laugh.
“Hey, so uh, mind your business Clint,” you retort, blushing red as you turn to look at the witch, “baby, come on. I was talking about them being losers, not you,” you say as Wanda begins storming away from you, “Max, come on amor, I swear I wasn’t talking about you,” you exclaim as you jog to catch up to your girlfriend.
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