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chipper9906 · 3 years

Text

Maybe

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR LOKI SEASON 01 EPISODE 05: ‘JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY’ AND SEASON 01 EPISODE 04: ‘THE NEXUS EVENT’

Pairings: Loki/Sylvie

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 4,124

Status: One Shot - Complete

Chapter Preview:

He had meant for it to come out more as a question, an offering. A possibility for the both of them. But what it really sounded like was a… well; a sincere, hope-filled attempt to keep hold of… this. Whatever this was, he knew he wanted it. However things went, he knew-

He wanted Sylvie in his life.

His heart was racing in his chest, pounding almost as hard as it does in the midst of battle. In the unlikely event he’s a free man after all of this over, he’ll have to go and find his brother - if he’ll even talk to him, that is - and apologize for the harsh insult he used; for berating his older brother over his affection for that Earth woman.

He understood now.

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Author Note:

Oh Boy, here I go again, getting sucked into yet another ship. Basically, this is a dive into Loki's thoughts during the blanket scene in Episode 5 "Journey Into Mystery" because man, I sure do love getting into a character's head and breaking down their thought process.

P.S. No joke, I think I re-watched the blanket scene like... over 40 times I counted, roughly. Wanted to make sure I got every detail right lmao.

Oh wow, would you look at that - yet ANOTHER fic based on the blanket scene? I'm sure this hasn't been done by many different people ever since Episode 5 aired! Nah, I'm sure this is purely original stuff.

(Listen, this scene and - consequently - this fic got stuck in my head and I just had to write it down and... well here we are.

* * *

This was, as he had said, new for him.

It was… strange, to say the least. Not just because the woman who was sat next to him was, technically, on some sort of level, himself. And yet… not. Sylvie was her own person, that was for sure. And the only Loki, from who he’s met, who refuses to be called Loki. She had chosen her own name, and was currently choosing – or carving, was more accurate – her own path. A way out of the never-ending, self-sabotaging, “only use is for improving others” apparent destiny they’ve all found themselves in.

She had lived an entirely different life from him - and the use of the word ‘different’ here is strongly applied. It makes him a little uneasy when he dwells on it for too long if he’s being honest with himself. Yes, there may some similarities between them, as to be expected, but Sylvie had lived her own set of experiences different to his. Differences that had shaped her, made her see the world… universe… timeline? All of that, in a different way to him. Learning of the things she had gone through, what she’s trying to accomplish… it made his “glorious purpose” of ruling over “Mid-guard” seem like a spoiled boy's desperate attempt to feel important.

Everything with Sylvie and the TVA had shut down that ideal very quickly. Or, at least, has changed his view of his “Glorious Purpose”. The one change that he hadn’t seen coming, that Sylvie herself had told him; the very first words she had actually said to him:

“This isn’t about you.”

No, it wasn’t about him. Not just him, anyway. It was… it was all of him. Every version of himself out there, and every other variant of... Of everyone to have ever existed. Those, just like him, who are punished for stepping out of their pre-written timeline. Those that, when they try to change themselves, to be the person who those that loved him did everything in their power to guide them to be, were snatched away by the TVA and sent here to this pit of unwanted, broken things; left with nothing but unforgiving and dirty survival, only to lead to their inevitable death.

And it’s cold.

“Mobius isn’t so bad.”

Sylvie breaks the comfortable lull of silence they had found themselves in. They were, technically, supposed to be ironing out the details of this plan to enchant a creature much, much larger than them, whose only desire is to eat everything that enters the world they’re currently in. Which is why, perhaps, they had taken the moment to just… breathe. A moment of rest, side by side. Whilst it was true that his plan of killing the gargantuan cloud thing was near suicidal, it would be fair to say that Sylvie’s plan was equally as dangerous. Then again, what did he expect? Seemed that every type of Loki out there isn’t the best at creating plans…

“Or so good,” Loki counters. It seemed almost cruel to say, but… it was also true, wasn’t it? Sure, Mobius had done the things he’d done because he thought they were the right things to do – but that didn’t take away from the fact that he’d done them. How many variants, not only of him, but of so many other poor souls had been doomed to this place because of his work? Still, it wasn’t like Mobius had the full picture with everything. Mobius had been lied to just as much as he had. “I think that’s why we get along.”

A small smile pulls at Sylvie’s lips. She takes a deep breath in, staring out to the horizon where Alioth awaits prowling his territory. “He cares about you.”

That catches him off guard. He supposed that she and Mobius must have had some type of conversation in however long they’d spent driving to reach them. Apparently, the topic of conversation must have steered towards him at some point. And somehow, through that, Sylvie had deduced that Mobius… cared about him?

There’s a soft, knowing smile on Sylvie’s face as she catches sight of his reaction. It was probably the closest similarity they shared: friendships… didn’t quite seem to happen for them.

But there’s something else there in Sylvie’s expression as she looks to him. Almost a twinge of… of sadness. It sends an aching sort of pain through his chest as he sees it, coming to a sudden realization in his head. He knew that, deep down, the reason for his own loneliness was all due to himself. He knows now that there were plenty in his life that loved him, that always treated him like family even when, genetically, he wasn’t. But he had been blinded by jealousy and hatred, hatred that they had kept the secret of his true nature quiet for so long. It was because of this; this stubbornness and this selfish, false ideal that he deserves more, that he had made himself alone.

But Sylvie…? She had been well and truly alone. From such a young age, an age where his mother had barely begun teaching him the basics of magic, she had been snatched away from her life. Everything she ever knew and loved had been wiped away, the timeline dumped here just like everything else the TVA – or whoever the hell is actually in charge of the damn universe and its multiple timelines – decided was too much of a threat. Ever since then, from that very same day she had managed to escape their clutches, she had been running alone. All those years, fighting to survive, completely alone, existing in one apocalypse after the other. Even if she did try and interact with the people in those timelines, what would be the point? They were doomed to die, anyway…

Her words echo in his head for a moment, her sad smile seemingly etched into his memory. A part of him, that strangely soft side he didn’t know existed that had been growing stronger and stronger these past few days, burst with the need to do something, to remove the pain she was feeling. For just a split second, he nearly gives into it. He nearly says the words that were forcing their way to the forefront of his brain.

‘I care about you.’

But the words stay safely locked away in his head. Sylvie looks away from him, and the moment passes. He didn’t know if she had been expecting for him to say anything, and he certainly didn’t know what it is she might have thought he would say. His mind clambers for something, for anything to try and bring the moment back.

A strong gust of cool wind blows over them, sending chills across his pale skin - despite the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing. He knew that, if he really wanted to warm himself up, he could shift into his true form. Except, he didn’t see it as his true form. He has been an Asgardian as long as he can remember, and for all intents and purpose, this is who he’s meant to be. He is the son of Odin, son of Frigga, brother to Thor, an Asgardian, and he’s proud of that.

And that’s when the idea pops into his head.

“It’s cold,” Loki states the obvious to Sylvie with a shiver of his upper body, glancing over to try and catch her reaction out of the corner of his eye. For a moment, he wonders if Sylvie has the same views on their true heritage as he does, considering that, in her timeline, she was told she was adopted much earlier than he was.

She doesn’t mention anything about it, though. Instead, she simply agrees with his statement with a hum of “Mmm-Hmm,” but it’s exactly the kind of answer he’s looking for.

From the outside, it looks like an easy twirl of his fingers and a burst of lime-green light, but in reality, it’s years and years of practice, both by himself and… and with his mother. The weight of the blanket - though light - is comforting as it wraps around his shoulders; silky smooth to the touch and of a darker green than the light of his their magic.

The burst of color gets Sylvie’s attention, looking over to Loki again to see the new blanket he had materialized out of seemingly thin air - which… he did.

“I could conjure one for you, if you like?” Loki offers.

Sylvie smiles for just a split second, enough for Loki to believe that she might just say yes. But then her nose scrunches as she comes back to herself, and the belief is gone. “Tell you what, you could conjure me a new outfit,” Sylvie says off-handedly, pulling at the tight collar of her outfit. “You have no idea how uncomfortable something like this is.”

It’s a deflection. He knows that all too well, because… because it’s something he’d do. Not that he can blame her in the slightest. As he had said, just before he was pruned through the heart and sent here - this was entirely new for him. Sure, he had had his fair share of flings back home. Rare occasions when he would give in to temptations, let himself experience a slice of normality. But it was never real. He did not doubt that those that fell into his bed did not do so because they felt a connection, or saw a future. And neither did he. He was a prince, a God, and for most, saying you were able to seduce a prince was an achievement. And for him? Well, it was an easy means to an end, he supposed.

But this? This felt real. It was strange, it was something he had never experience before, and quite frankly, it scared the ever-living God’s out of him. So sure, he knew how to flirt… somewhat. But with this, with Sylvie? Everything was different, and he had no clue whatsoever what he should do.

“So…” Sylvie breaks him out of his thoughts. “Mobius, and his theory about…”

Oh. Well, he certainly hadn’t been expecting for the conversation to go there. Really, he had thought she might try and pretend to have never heard what Mobius had said.

“Right, right. About our Nexus event-,”

“Total rubbish, right?”

He’d be lying if he said that didn’t sting a little bit. “Absolutely,” ‘Liar’, a voice in his head hisses. “Of course, I mean-,”

“I don’t mean that it wasn’t a nice moment,” Sylvie hurries to say, and it lessens that sting just a little bit.

“No, it was great! It was really nice.”

“It just… sounds like another TVA lie.”

Which... Yes, when he thinks about it, could you easily have been a lie. Not that he thinks that Mobius would lie to them about this, no, but that someone else within the TVA had fed Mobius the lie. For what reason, he's not entirely sure. To throw them off the scent perhaps? Keep them from figuring out what can really cause a Nexus Event so powerful that it could conceivably take the TVA down.

Or, perhaps they just enjoyed lying. More than him even - and that's saying something.

"A hundred percent. I mean totally, yeah."

And oh, what was this? Loki tries to meet her eye, expecting her to nod her head vehemently in agreement to his statement. But... She won't look at him. She gives a somewhat strained-looking smile, more like a grimace than anything, and if he looks hard enough - by which he means projects his own feelings onto Sylvie and hopes she feels the same - he could almost imagine there was a flicker of disappointment there, too.

"I don't know how to do this," Sylvie says, an admission he didn't expect. She looks about as awkward as he feels, eyes fixated on her fingers as she plays with them.

"I don't even know what we're doing," Loki returns, and dear oh dear did he genuinely mean that. One moment he thinks he should take that step, say something, anything. And then the very next moment it becomes the wrong time, the wrong thing to say, and he's back to square one.

It was frustrating, to say the least.

"I don't have friends," Sylvie carries on, and it's another dagger through the heart. Yet another thing that was so similar, yet so, so different. He had been given so many opportunities for companionship, for friends, but he repeatedly threw them all away. But Sylvie? She wasn't even given the chance. She truly had-

"I don't have..." Sylvie trails off, a long gap where she struggles to find the right word to use. Her eyes had locked onto his, and he knew that nothing less than Alioth appearing right above their heads would get him to tear his eyes away.

"... Anyone."

"Well, there are more important things, right?" Loki desperately grasps for something to wipe away the blank, dejected look that was etched onto her features.

"Right? Yeah, like bringing down the TVA."

For once, one of his plans was going well. "Saving the universe, even."

"Well, there's no need to be dramatic - but yeah, kind of!"

Then there it was again - a particularly strong breeze pushing up to the little hill they were sat on. Sylvie gives a little shiver as it washes over them, a barely noticeable shuffle in an attempt to get warm, and Loki jumps at the opportunity.

It only takes one small adjustment, a brief push of magic, and then the blanket is growing, wrapping itself around Sylvie's shoulders in a motion so smooth, you'd think he'd done something like this hundreds of times before. Loki smiles gently to her when she notices the change, and his smile only grows more as Sylvie pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders, shuffling closer to him by just the smallest of movements. Yet another plan he could now say was a success.

"It's not very snuggly."

Or, maybe not. "Okay," Loki manages to get out through a surprised laugh, but he does get some sort of gratification in seeing her smile at his response.

"Is it a tablecloth?"

"No, it's a blanket," Loki finds himself strangely defending his materialized choice of cloth.

There’s a pause, the quickest of glances up to him. He sees a brief flash of pink as she pokes out the tip of her tongue between her lips, wetting them as she struggles to get out her next words. “Thank you.”

Loki gets a strange feeling she doesn’t get to say that all too often. Whether that be because she chooses not to, or because she’s never had the opportunity to. When was the last time someone did something nice for her…?

“My pleasure.”

Sure, this was all new, and all types of scary. But, as he sat here, shoulder to shoulder with Sylvie, looking out to the dreary yet oddly beautiful landscape scattered with remnants from pruned timelines, he can't help but feel that this moment right here? It was… nice. Despite the TVA, despite Alioth, despite the fear of imminent death he’s had to live through nearly every moment since the Tesseract flung him into that desert in Mongolia, he had managed to find himself some semblance of peace.

And it was because of the person next to him.

“How do I know that, in the final moments, you won't betray me?”

Now, this was a conversation he had been expecting. How can he not? It seemed that nearly every single person he’s ever come across, who he hasn’t immediately tried to murder, wonders the exact same thing. The ‘inevitable’ betrayal every Loki seems incapable not to carry out.

And he couldn’t blame them, just as he can’t blame Sylvie for wondering the same thing. Really, he had thought the whole reason she had wanted this moment to talk to him was to have this very conversation. It was… it was something he had thought about himself, ever since being dragged in by the TVA. It was Mobius that had shown him his consistent deceitful nature - quite literally, by showing him film of every moment in his life where his flair for dramatics and affiliation for backstabbing was apparently used for ‘the bettering of others’.

It had become deeply ingrained into his nature. It became what he was known for, what his family knew him for. He supposed it gave him some sense of… satisfaction, perhaps? A false sense of security, that he always has the upper hand when need be. It was almost like a trial, opportunities to prove to himself that, when the time comes, he can do what it takes to claim what he, false-fully, felt he was owed. He was certain that the only path to being a rightful ruler was one filled with betrayal.

And now, after only a few days with Mobius - and an even shorter amount of days with Sylvie, his previous ambition he’s been working towards for so long suddenly wasn’t as important. Things had changed.

He had changed.

And that was part of the reason the TVA wanted him dead.

“Listen, Sylvie, I…” Loki starts, but then stops. He sighs deeply, wanting to find the best way to get this across to her. He needed her to understand. “I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother… my home.”

He at least had her full attention now. No more awkward glances at one another, unable to maintain more than a few seconds of eye contact. This was important, and they both knew it. “I know what I did. And I know why I did it. And that’s not who I am anymore. Okay?”

There’s nothing on her face that he can read, nothing that says whether she believes him or not. She had been expecting him to say this, he supposed. “I won't let you down,” Loki says, and he says it like a promise - one he fully intends to keep.

“You sure?” Sylvie asks, and he nods his head straight away in response. “ ‘Cause if we make it, and the TVA is gone, there might be a timeline for you to rule.” Sylvie continues with a challenging - yet slightly teasing- narrowing of her eyes.

“Ah,” Loki says wistfully, looking out to the horizon as if dreaming of such an event. “And then I’d finally be happy.”

Except, he wouldn’t. He only has to look at his older self to know that. The only one of himself that had beaten the one event that’s supposed to define their lives. He had tricked the mad titan himself, found himself a little corner of the universe to live out his life in peace. No more people he has to challenge, no more opportunities for betrayal - by him, or to him.

And he looked… miserable.

Now, though? Right here and now, he wasn’t miserable. He certainly wasn’t relaxed, that was for sure, but far from miserable. He had ended his little exclamation with a rare smile that wasn’t a smirk - or forced- and miraculously, Sylvie returned one just as wide as his; wide enough even for him to see the little laughter lines crinkling at the corner of her eyes.

“What about you?” Loki asks. “What will you do when this is all over?”

Sylvie takes a moment to think, tucking an unruly strand of hair away from her face. “I don’t know.”

He couldn’t even begin to try and put himself in her shoes. Sylvie had spent… hundreds, perhaps even a thousand years of her life just running. Surviving. Doing whatever it takes to make sure she wasn’t wiped off the board by some mystery figure, or group, that had deemed her too dangerous to the timeline. And for what? Some kind of sick desire to have control over every single living thing in every type of Universe to ever exist?

Which… which sounded an awful lot like himself, now he thought about it. Maybe whoever was in charge of the TVA was another variant of himself…

“I don’t know either,” Loki said, and that added to the tally of growing truths he was admitting to people - perhaps the most in his life.

At some point, this all had to be over. Whether… whether it ends in his death once again, another defeat by a power-hungry being, or with their victory. No more TVA. No more pruning of variants. No more control. Sure, Sylvie had made that joke about him ruling a separate timeline, but… what would he do once this was all over, assuming her survives it? What did he want to do?

What does he want?

‘Look at your eyes! You like her!’

‘What?’

‘You like her! Does she like you?’

‘Was she pruned-’

‘No wonder you have no clue what caused the Nexus Event on Lamentis; both of you are swooning over each other!’

‘Tell me the truth-’

‘It’s the apocalypse! Two Variants of the same being, especially you, forming this sick, twisted romantic relationship - that’s pure chaos! That could break reality, it’s breaking my reality right now! What an incredible, seismic narcissist - you fell for yourself!’

‘Her name was Sylvie’.

Mobius had truly tricked him there. At least now he knew how cruel it was to be on the other side of such a bluff, he supposed. He had always prided himself on his acting abilities, his innate way of lying to others. Yet, apparently, when it came to Sylvie… he puts his full emotions on display. He had become too overcome with emotions at the mere thought of Mobius telling the truth, that Sylvie was well and truly gone, and he had snapped. He was…

Yes… That was the word.

He was heartbroken.

‘You conniving, craven, pathetic worm. I hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be.’

‘Do you really think you deserve to be alone?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well then you better figure it out quick, because the Nexus Event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down.’

Maybe, just maybe… Mobius was onto something there. Maybe Sif, even in that small, once insignificant memory buried in his mind, was wrong.

Maybe he didn’t deserve to be alone.

Maybe he didn’t have to be.

“Maybe…” The words get caught in his throat, spoken softer than he intended to. He involuntary finds himself leaning closer to Sylvie, to the warmth radiating from her, trapped within the blanket wrapped around them. “Maybe we could figure it out... together.”

He wanted Sylvie in his life.

He understood now.

He almost misses the slightest of reactions as Sylvie looks up to him - and what he knows is an earnest, vulnerable glaze in his eyes. It’s the smallest of things, almost impossible to see, but there’s a slight pull to the corner of her lips as she looks to him. Almost as if she was fighting back a smile at his proposition.

“Maybe,” She whispers back to him, just as quiet and tender as his own words. It’s not a yes, not in the way his frantically racing heart was hoping to hear, but it was a start. It was Sylvie’s own returning of a proposition, her own olive branch. The possibility he had given that she was extending right back to him.

Maybe.

Yes… Maybe they’d survive this. Maybe he and Sylvie would bring down the tyrant who oversees ‘the sacred timeline’. Maybe he’ll find Mobius again, alive and well, having turned the entirety of the TVA’s workforce against the organization they devoted their lives to, and burn it to the ground.

Maybe Sylvie will let him stay by her side.

Maybe, he’ll carve that new path in his life - with Sylvie’s intertwined with his.

Maybe he’ll find that new Glorious Purpose.

Maybe he won’t be alone.

Maybe he’ll be happy.

Maybe…

You know what? He was starting to like that word.

#sylki #pro sylki #sylki fanfic #sylki fanfiction #loki/sylvie

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lovecinnatwist · 3 years

Note

So I know you wrote a star sapphire Dick au, but I raise you a star sapphire Jason au—he always seems to love everyone around him a lot more than they seem to love him and he just wants to be loved so badly poor baby

Hello Anon! I loveeee this idea! You didnt specify a pairing so I've made it gen. Let me know if you have a pairing in mind. I've left it open for ideas.

All are welcome to slide into my DMs with ideas for star sapphire!Jason.

Lanterns Lead Home

The first moment of consciousness Jason Todd has after being beaten to- not death apparently- is warmth.

The fuzzy feeling of being held by what must be twenty different pairs of hands pulls him back as he wakes. Every broken sob and desperate scream that wants to rattle free of his chest melts away into nothing. The air itself seems to vibrate with something sweet that he can’t put a name too. Every draw of breath fills him with kindness until he can recall the feeling-

love.

Tender touches chase away the bruises and scars until he can’t remember if they were ever there. Soft and caring caresses cup his cheeks and soft lips kiss away his tears. It’s too much and something that he’s been without for so long. For a moment he thinks of Catherine. Who she had been before the drugs. The thought of her breaks something in his chest. He cries and what seems like dozens of voices echo out validations. They sing back welcoming calls to release and let go.

So Jason does but he’s still floating. Still in the warm embrace of what he realizes must be his sisters. They must be because they call him that over and over and over again. A cup of something sugary comes to his lips and he gulps it down greedily. It coats his insides sweeping through him like a scolding saccharine syrup.

Consciousness starts to slip again but insistent slaps to the face jolt him awake.

‘ Not yet. ‘

He knows what the words are but his ears don’t actually hear them. The woman over him has blue skin and gorgeous eyes that see into everything he is. He wants to turn away from it but she holds him steady. There is another cup. She makes him drink and this time Jason feels like he’s suffocating.

He swallows more cups until he feels like he's at his limit. Then the hands are moving him and the rocking motion makes him feel sick. He passes from one hand to another until someone is bringing him to his knees in front of a huge glittering basin.

“ Purge Ja’s Purge and be reborn. “

He feels dizzy and sick. Like he’s still rocking. He clenches onto the cool surface ahead of him. He tries to collect himself but memories start surfacing like bile in his throat. He remembers everything in startling detail. It all flashes before him until he flies forward and purges.

He shakes and shudders through it. The loud cheers after every heave grounds him in support. Many hands hold him to stop him from falling in but no one stops him from emptying everything that he is into the quickling filling basin.

He trembles and they replace that one for another. He can’t believe there’s more to give but everytime he feels peace a vile memory twists up and sends him face first into the bucket. By the time he’s thoroughly wrung out and empty- gentle hands pull him up. He doesn’t fight as he’s taken by many hands to a cool pool that bubbles against his skin. It fizzes and sizzles but doesn’t burn as his body is submerged. His eye lashes flutter.

He gets a vague glimpse of blue skin and pinks and then someone tells him to hold his breath.

He does and goes under. Everything goes black.

Most Pink Lanterns don’t need to go through the rebirth. At least that is what Ja’s has heard from the others. The ring finds them before anything bad can happen. Usually during high emotions of love or joy something Ja’s has felt little of. Or well maybe that isn’t quite right.

He does love, he loves everything. He loves hard, fast, passionate and ferociously but sometimes it feels like there isn’t any left for him. Sure he’s had people care for him, but to choose him first? To love him first…. Wilis loved money, then Catherine loved the drugs, then there's Bruce who loved the Crusade and Alfred… well Alfred could never love him more than Bruce.

It had been that that drove him to Ethiopia in the first place.

He remembers everything in startling clarity now. His birth, his life, his death and of course both rebirths. It’s hard to forget the feeling of splitters digging into your fingertips and the taste of mud as you dig yourself out of your own grave. Who knows how long he had been wandering Gotham in a fuzzy haze? No one found him, no one had been looking for him. At least that's what he thought until he saw a pink glow.

The star sapphire. His star sapphire to be precise.

Lost in the memory he gently touches the gem. It’s a wonderment, meeting the sisters of the lanterns corps and of course… getting permission to be- well who he's always known himself to be, Ja’s as they call him.

It had been freeing to be allowed to be nurturing. To be allowed to be tender and to care. Despite the changes that he’s gone through he feels more like himself than ever before. Like his body suddenly fits and he is grateful for the Zamarons for allowing him the ceremony. They honor his pronouns, as they all honor and celebrate femininity as its essence and not as sex or gender. Ja's has learned nothing if not the suffering of smothering his divine feminine in his last life.

Now he is free.

( He tells himself that's why he hasn’t gone home to Gotham. Not because the existence of the third Robin Bruce has replaced him with. )

He does a good job at ignoring his old life and memories for the most part too. The few indulges he allows are watching digital transmissions of different versions of pride and prejudice with his sisters. Even in space nothing seems to beat human literature, something that Ja's gets to share with the others. He learns how to love deeper. Not only himself but more importantly everyone and everything. Mostly in the emotional sense… while the others- well Ja's isn’t quite ready for the sexual sense yet.

Like many of the Pink Lantern Corps he has yet to meet his soul mate.

The thought flutters low in his stomach. While he could easily show someone their love in his ring, the power didn’t work for star sapphires themselves. They simply had to wait for the pull and circumstance when they would feel the electricity in the air. Other members in the corps said that the feeling is indescribable. Like swallowing lightning or crashing into a planet with nothing to cushion the fall.

Though unfortunately, most of his sisters felt that with every good looking creature they came across.

Ja's takes a drink, lounging about in the Green Lanterns station. They’re taking a short interlude before heading back home. One that the others are taking full advantage of. It’s kind of embarrassing how the revealing costume and reputation of his corps makes others stare. He hears the whispers and feels the eyes on him just as clearly.

It’s stupid because he isn’t even the best looking of them all. In a universe full of aliens most lanterns find humans rather dull. He hears the giggles as the others flirt. That’s all it is sometimes, flirting. While other times- Ja's turns the blind eye to Nadia’s wink as she disappears with a lantern down the corridor. He doesn’t flush long familiar with their games. Still a little part of him feels empty.

If only he could give as freely as they did.

The chair next to him creeks making him sigh. Great, another lantern trying their luck. Couldn’t they tell he just wants to finish his drink in peace? He turns around to give the person a piece of his mind, anger already hot on his tongue.

That is until playful green eyes fall on his. Ja's immediately tries to escape but Ryner grabs his wrist.

“ Well if it isn’t my favourite Star Sapphire. “

Ja's knows there’s no way he’s going to be able to pull the other off without causing a scene. He gives one more futile tug while Kyle just raises an unimpressed eyebrow. He groans just as the lantern orders himself his own drink.

“ What do you want Ryner? “

The green lantern only lets go when he’s sure Ja's won’t run. Which is funny considering the fact that he's always running. Whether it be from bad guys, suitors or most times his sisters. It’s something that comes from growing up on the streets. The only place he’s ever felt safe had been… warm memories of the manor and Bruce's smile tug at his heart.

“ What makes you think I want something Ja’s? “

The very clear inflection of his voice Ja's wants to say. The other human has always made himself a pest whenever their corps comes to visit. It’s probably because they are both humans and around the same age. Not that they’ve really spoken about how they both ended up here.

He doesn’t answer Ryner and takes a sip of his drink instead. The playful smile on the green lantern holds no matter how long Ja's ignores him.

“ So I'm going down to Terra thought maybe you’d like to come? Apparently Batman could use some extra hands. “

At the mention of Batman Ja's interest piques. It’s rare to hear about anyone from his former life. Of course he does look through mission logs from time to time. It’s public access in the lantern corps library after all- but otherwise it's uncommon for Bruce to ask for help. The last thingJas's saw was Batman, Nightwing and Robin rescuing Hal from a villain he didn’t recognize.

Ryner is either ignorant to his inner conflict or ignores it.

“ It’ll be fun. You know Bats never lets us in his city. Could be nice? We could get a burger afterwards. Maybe catch a movie. “

It sounds like a date. Ja's would think it’s one too if he hadn’t told Ryner exactly how he feels about those things. He’s a nice guy, not bad looking from what he can see… but still he needs- well he wants the spark.

He meets the boyish smile with a frown but it does nothing to make it go away. He shouldn’t. He’s done pretty well ignoring both earth and the bats. Still the big huge heart in him wants. He wants to see Bruce again and help him.

A tiny part of him wants to go home and pretend like his dad still loves him even though he’s gone and gotten a new kid. One who’s probably in Ja’s room with all new clothes that are fitting of a good son. A loved son.

Ryner bumps shoulders with him pulling him out of his head. His ring had begun to flicker a bit from the emotional distress. The other human places a hand over it to block the light and Jason let’s him. It’s a distraction.

“ C’mon Ja’s Earth isn’t like you remember it. Let me show you a good time? “

That stupid hopeful smile and the shy way Ryner really looks at him hurts. He’s weak to things like this. People actually caring about him. He’s practically starving for it. He swallows down his protest. After all it would probably be nice to see his family again. They probably wouldn’t even recognize him. He could go and help and then maybe take up Ryner on his offer for a burger.

Something light. Something Casual.

“ Fine.. That sounds ok- I’ll go. “

Ja's wishes he could ignore the stupid happiness radiating off of the other lantern.

“ Swear to God Ja’s this is going to be so much fun- You aren’t gonna regret it. There’s this one place that serves burgers like the size of your head and the art on the wall is just so hilarious- “

Ja's rolls his eyes as he finishes the last of his drink.

“ Shut up Ryner and don’t make me regret this. “

The green lantern mims zipping his mouth shut and Ja's laughs.

Turns out he’s actually right as well.

Jas's hasn’t been to Earth in years and it really shows. The place looks different. Even Gotham in all its dirt and grime feels foriegn to him. He joins the other lanterns in their job of catching and sending the aliens back to a prison at the corps. It’s fun with the little quips the Green Lanterns seem to toss back and forth between one another. Jason isn’t used to it but it’s a vibrant kind of energy that leaves a smile on his face even while he’s fighting.

With the group supers the battle is over quickly. Quick enough and Ja's finds himself disappointed. He doesn’t know why but ever since they’ve been back in Gotham he has been positively vibrating. It’s new and exciting and maybe it’s because he caught a few glimpses of familiar capes and blue.

When they all land on the roof for briefing Ja's feels like he’s about to burst from the excitement.

This time when Ryner bumps into his shoulder it isn’t quite as annoying and he bumps back. It’s playful and light which seems to be the mood with them all. That is until Batman comes down with his dark dramatics.Jas's goes stone still at the sight of him. A blue and Black shadow follows behind before the bright colors of Robin pop up the edge of the building.

It’s- strange to him. Like being on the wrong side of a mirror. He takes in what he can see of Bruce’s face from under the mask. The worn lines seem just too deep to be on the man he thought of as his father. Even Dick’s posture feels different and the new Robin… Well Ja's wishes he could say he feels anger but if anything he just feels- strange. There’s also something else. It’s slow and thrumming in his mind like he’s running on outdated software. His entire body itches all over and all he wants is to get closer. He needs to be closer. Close enough to touch, feel and just make sure they're real. That they are who he remembers and not just a figment of his imagination-

Ryner nudges him and Ja's hisses under his breath.

“ We gotta go. Didn’t you hear the man? “

Ja's had not heard him. The soothing quality of Bruce’s voice always made it hard to focus. The dark timber of it has always been more relaxing than menacing in his opinion. Just- being so close to them but not with them feels so strange. He knows he has to go over there. It’s been years and he probably doesn’t even fit in space left. There's anxiety at the thought, to go home he'd be willing to cut away any parts of him that he needed to. He swallows. It’s a sad and small mindset, something that he’s supposed to be better than by now.

“ Heard him say what? “

Someone clears their throat and now there’s all eyes on them. Apparently they weren’t being as quiet as they thought.

“ That your help has been appreciated but you are not welcome in my city. “

Hearing it and knowing it are two different things. While Ja's always knew how Bruce felt about metas and supers, actually being told to leave is equal parts hilarious and frustrating. The itch that has been nagging him turns into an entire rash. He takes two steps forward but Ryners hand stops him from closing the distance. He shrugs off the touch, it doesn’t feel right.

“ Yea? And who decides who comes into Gotham. Last I checked I have a birth certificate sayin i’m Gothamite and that means I can come to this cesspool whenever I want. “

He spits the words in the accent to prove a point. He’s giving away too much- too much information. He knows how Bruce obsesses over identities. It's not like the corps where everyone knew everything. A few people look around and Jas's suddenly feels even smaller. Ryner pulls him back and he can’t get himself to move. He just stares at Bruce hoping- wishing that the man will know it’s him. That he’ll close the distance and hug him and hold him. That he’ll smell like home like he always did when Jason could fit on his lap.

Because as many sisters as he has now he only has one living father, brother and grandfather. He only has them and Jason wants so badly to be told that he could have them again. Space has never felt like much of a home. As much as the others made efforts they’re versions of love and his are different. He clung to the idea of meeting a soul mate and being full but now that he’s actually in front of Bruce he just wants to be here. With his dad.

The shush on the roof is eerie. Ryner pulls harder and this time Ja's stumbles back.

“ Ja’s lets go. “

The hardness of his voice spurs him into action. Bruce doesn’t move. He doesn’t move an inch and it hurts so badly he thinks he might die. When the lanterns take off he hesitates for just a moment. His eyes find Dick’s hoping for…. He doesn’t know what. When their eyes meet his heart pounds and his blood rushes in his ears. The blankness he gets back makes him flinch.

His eyes flicker to the Robins and the innocent wide eye stare is just- too much. He feels like a spectacle. His eyes flutter around and soon he realizes just how out of place he is. Not like he ever fit to begin with.

Shame rolls over him. He staggered back a few steps. No one moves and his throat goes dry. He turns and flies after Ryner in mortification.

#star sapphire jason au #ficlets #lanterns lead home #gen fic

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

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RP meme from the Baali Clanbook V2 in "Vampire the Masquerade" Part 2 of 2

"Look at the world around you. No, truly look. Do you see it? The entropy slowly eating away at the fabric of existence? The world is dying."

"Existence has always teetered on the brink in some way or another."

"From the coming of prophets and gods to the turn of the millennium. Mankind has always found some way to turn the metamorphosis of life into an “end of days” scenario."

"It's not hyperbole."

"All things must come to an end. Even our universe."

"We can either fear this new existence or we can embrace it. I know which I choose. What will your decision be?"

"I find humanity both fascinating and boring."

"I find humanity both fascinating and boring. They are creatures who have risen above their state as pure beasts in the wild. They have domesticated the world, bringing it to heel under the boot of technology and enterprise. They have tamed the lightning and created weapons of such incredible potency that they could end the entire world with the push of a few buttons. But, at the same time, they cannot even control their own impulses."

"I do love seeing the hope in a victim’s eyes slowly die."

"We need to talk about vampires."

"They are all in their positions due to back-alley deals, dirty deeds, and betrayals that they fear will one day topple them."

"They are afraid. Afraid of losing power."

"Power is a cruel master."

"Do not put yourself out there in a manner that draws unwanted attention."

"Those who are worthy of your knowledge should seek you out, not the other way around."

"Use what you know to twist their desires to your own ends."

"Utilize every secret desire and urging until your “clients” are nothing more than puppets on your strings."

"Above all, however, don’t forget to clean when guests come to call. It’s embarrassing to have a bloody carpet."

"Arrogance will be the gap in their armor that you can exploit."

"They wounded ego and regret."

"That’s a level of fucked up I can’t wrap my head around."

"So easy to guide around by their rage."

"Get over it already."

"They’re not corruptors unless you want to be corrupted."

"It’s bargain basement degradation at best."

"All good rites have some semblance of pageantry to help build up psychic energy for ritual release, sure. But when you perform the rite more for the pageantry than sacrifice or offerings? You’ve missed the point."

"The beautiful ones have this fucked up perception that they are icons of style, grace, and tact."

"The punks think of themselves as whirlwinds of creative destruction."

"After all, I want to see the world break out of this nascent shell of physicality and witness the birth of a new universe."

"So, I can get behind wanting to push past pain and physical limitations."

"These. . .things will not think twice about skinning you alive and making you part of the furniture. And honestly. . .I can respect that."

"These fucking guys."

"There comes a time in everyone’s life when they look at the world around them and wonder; “Is this it? Is this everything that there is?”

"Life, if we are honest, is nothing but a series of disappointments."

"My youth was spent chasing some phantom of purpose. Some reason for us being here, for going on, day after day, living."

"My desperate pleas were met with unyielding silence."

"We all wander through the world, clinging to half-promises of something greater."

"We will find the bliss of enlightenment only after the trials of our world."

"Why was everything we did destined to age and rot?"

"There was no blissful release. There was no epiphany of understanding. No moment of realizing my place in the universe."

"We are, each of us, insignificant."

"We don’t get rich off hard work. Luck and heritage define who rises to the top."

"We don’t find enlightenment as we grow older, we only find bitterness and fear of encroaching death."

"We race to accomplish something. . .anything, that will live on after our deaths."

"I thought sensation would provoke deeper understanding. It does not. It only burns bright, then fades quickly, leaving a person yearning for the next instance of fleeting bliss."

"There is nothing. No great reward awaiting the dying. There is no great paradise for the enlightened. There are fading memories of life and the swirling maelstrom of oblivion."

"Why would anyone want to deny themselves anything knowing that, in the end, they are only fit for utter destruction and darkness?"

"Take every moment of disappointment in your life. Every hardship. Every heartbreak. And then realize that none of it matters in any form in the end."

"Fuck the universe."

"Fuck every lie and every false promise of salvation or of some “great reward” that never comes."

"Enlightenment is a trap."

"Fuck every self-styled guru that peddles street corner bliss and a side of eternal understanding."

"This universe is a fucked -up failure."

"This universe is a fucked -up failure. An experiment with no principal investigator at the helm. Let’s scrap it and start something new. Something where we can make our own purpose."

"It is the only choice we have —to grasp our destinies and forge something new out of the corpse of the old."

"The end is coming and there is no stopping it. But. . .we can accelerate it. We can end this torturous existence and craft something new and meaningful from its remains."

"We are not destroyers, nor are we heralds of destruction. We are idealists seeking to bring purpose to existence. We are scholars burdened with the horrible truth that this universe must burn so that something new and pure can take its place."

"Evil. I hate the word."

"To the point, however, the word “evil” is such a catch-all that is, at its core, quite meaningless."

"We are the midwives of eternity, here to see to the proper birth of what is to come."

"Evil may be a word that can fit us, but to the darkness, isn’t the invasive nature of light evil?"

"I do what I do out of simple necessity."

"“Good” and “evil” are terms for children."

"They are just as “evil” as we. They simply lie to themselves about it."

"I think the truth lies between these tales."

"While the stain of grievous sins can color the auras of most, yours, for some reason, remains pure and innocent."

"You may not realize it, but your very essence sings with dark power."

"You understand the state of the world. You understand how it hangs so precariously between collapse and a great rebirth in darkness."

"In these dark, twisting visions, the future is revealed in flashes of blood-soaked fate."

"They will still be a missing person and be mourned, but they will be, effectively, simply considered another statistic and efforts to seek out justice for them will fade."

"While friends and family still remember the individual and their name, any efforts to seek out justice for them or to search for them cease after the ritual is performed."

"By sharing the affections of your damned patron, you can grant infernal powers to others."

"The allure of evil can draw in the curious like a moth to a flame."

"What is your most shameful secret?"

"What do you desire the most?"

"Whom do you secretly despise?"

"The most valuable advice, then, would be to act subtle. Be calm. Act comfortable."

"Akkadian script is simple, but apparently too difficult for you to count in."

"The quest for the next horizon has always haunted your mind."

"No matter what you were doing, no matter where you were at. . .there was always the allure of the unknown calling out to you."

"The allure of history and understanding what came before was simply too great to ignore."

"You were ravenous for knowledge."

"By the end of the week, you were no longer alive."

"Cultures died out across the world. Why?"

"The great puzzle of the universe lays before you. "

"The ancients knew secrets that would sear the minds of today’s scholars."

"The old gods are my strength. They are my shield."

"Mankind has forgotten where its oldest, bloodiest rites came from."

"Your traditions were handed down to you by your parents, and to them by their parents."

"Old deities that were converted into demons and devils by Abrahamic religions were once sources of inspiration to the world."

"While you have dabbled in mainstream paganism, practitioners these days ring hollow to you."

"Their worship more out of desperation than any true passion."

"It wasn’t for you."

"You caught the attention of something in the dark."

"There is a strength in the old ways that it seems many have forgotten."

"What you are doing is not evil. It is necessary."

"Do stop squirming. It ruins the effect."

"Something was always broken inside of you. "

"Your questions cut through the niceties of social decorum."

"You weren’t ignorant of the suffering you caused. You just didn’t care."

"They love their work and the pain it inflicts."

"You? You honestly adore the look of terror ."

"After all, what is the point of your work if you do not enjoy it from time to time?"

"You know the best ways to draw out the psychic energy for a proper sacrifice."

"They will come. Have no doubt of that."

"You simply didn’t understand the need for religion."

"You were out of place."

"There is a calmness that comes from knowing the end is inevitable."

"You are existing on the precipice of a new universe and you know this."

"Your faith sustains you."

"Aren’t you a beautiful soul?"

"It was an easy lie."

"You have been an apt pupil."

"I am here to do the Devil’s work."

"Life hasn’t always sucked."

"Being homeless creates a new kind of resentment."

"People walk by, either with contempt or pity in their eyes for you. Both are an insult."

"In your anger, you lashed out, you reached for something new that could explain all the inconsistencies in the world."

"Beings from beyond time? The hell does that even mean?"

"You are the devil’s own."

"Satan was a model of freedom from tyranny."

"Your soul is foul and beyond redemption."

"Power belongs to those who are daring enough to wield it."

"You became the popular one, the one in demand, who’s very expression could elevate someone or dash their hopes."

"So, you arranged the death of your beneficiary and inherited their wealth."

"They admired the grace and style with which you brought your targets to heel and slowly destroyed them."

"It only took a week to catch your eye."

"The world may be destined to die a slow, agonizing death, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your fun wherever you can find it."

"Who are you to judge?"

"You are only as good as your last rumor."

"It’s the thrill of the hunt that drives you and exhilarates you."

"You don’t understand. I know what breathes in the dark. I’m trying to keep it asleep."

"You were always looking for a place to fit in."

"The desire to fit in is always powerful. It can guide our actions and even our thoughts. It can shift our perspective, causing a realignment of our core values."

"Once you found some semblance of purpose you could identify with—and one that made you out to be a hero fighting back darkness, you embraced it wholeheartedly."

"You will keep doing what you know you must do."

"If they only knew that you were working to protect all of them. . .maybe they would be more grateful."

"You have a subtle contempt for modern society."

"You understand the desires that drive people to extremes. . .and you have no qualms about twisting those needs and urges to your ends."

"Everyone you meet is a tool to be used, a potential sacrifice, or a threat to be neutralized."

"You dress to impress—always in the most stylish manners according to what is in fashion."

"Use every environmental factor to your benefit when possible."

"Make good entrances and silent exits."

"You are a cutthroat negotiator when you need to be but know that sometimes the appearance of defeat can serve you better than a clear victory."

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay starters #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #vampire the masquerade #worldbuilding #owod #vtm #baali

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bamfdaddio · 3 years

Text

X-Men Abridged: 1977

The X-Men, those starjammin' mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 103 - 108) - written by Chris Claremont and art by Dave Cockrum, Bob Brown and John Byrne

The fabled M’Kraan Crystal, a.k.a. Everything’s a butt plug if you’re brave enough. (X-Men 107)

When we last left our X-Men, they were being pummelled into a paste by Black Tom and the Juggernaut at the ancestral Cassidy Keep. Only Nightcrawler was out of their clutches, because he was saved by elves. (All Irish keeps have elves, plz don’t question it.) Apparently, Juggernaut and Black Tom have been holding the inhabitants of the castle hostage under the orders of Eric the Red. Black Tom plans to mindrape the X-Men to lure Charles to Ireland to kill him, which… er… Wouldn’t it be easier to go back to the USA now that Charles is mostly unprotected? Most of the the X-Men are in Oire right now!

Nightcrawler incidentally discovers he turns invisible in the shadows, and it makes total sense that he only realizes this now, because they have no shadows in Germany. Eh, nobody remembers he has this power these days anyway, so! Moving briskly on!

Kurt surprises the gay villainous duo by pretending to be a surprisingly spry Xavier. (Image inducer ftw.) While trying to turn Nightcrawler into a smear of blue fuzz, Juggernaut punches through a wall, exposing Storm to the sky and releasing her from the tight grip of her claustrophobia.

Very few things fill me with more delight than seeing Storm doing loop-de-loops. (X-Men 103)

Storm frees the rest of the X-Men. In the final battle, Banshee tussles with Tom, tossing him off the ramparts and straight into the choppy ocean. Even though tossing a villain into the water is an absolutely sure-fire way to guarantee they'll survive, Juggernaut jumps in after him, desperate to save his boyfriend. Friend. Whatever.

Hilariously, the people at marvel.fandom hate this issue and plotline, saying it’s more riddled with plot holes than Swiss cheese. For example, the elves reveal Wolverine’s real name - Logan - which… “This issue implies that the leprechauns have some prior knowledge of, and even a connection to Wolverine. This plot point, however, was completely dropped and never referenced again (which is probably for the best, considering how goofy it is.)”

I mean, they’re not wrong.

So. Hey. You ready for things to get weird?

Moira has received a VAGUE BUT DISTRESSING call for help from Muir Isle. Off-screen she got upgraded to being an associate at Edinburgh University who owns a lab in Scotland. She left some dude named Jamie Madrox in charge, which - Moira, you have a Phd, you should be able to tell that Madrox is an absolute (entertaining) mess of a person.

Also super surprised that Jamie Madrox was conceived in the seventies, but whatever.

In order to check out the lab, the X-Men rent a hovercraft, which explodes just off the shore of Muir Isle.

Get a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass fuzzy. (X-Men 104)

They are beset on all sides, before being pulled into the laboratory by… MAGNETO?

Magneto accusing anybody other than Dr. Doom or Namor of all-consuming arrogance shows us that self-awareness can’t be taught. (X-Men 104)

Cyclops arrives by airplane, reuniting with the team, while also talking to Moira and Madrox. Absolutely bonkers revelations are made in the space of three pages:

Moira’s lab is a secret Mutant Research Centre. (uh…)

In the Defenders-comic, Magneto was de-aged into a baby. (...what?!)

‘Research Centre’ is a Scottish synonym for a penal colony for all kinds of dangerous mutants, like baby Magneto, Dragonfly, Unus and the mysterious Mutant-X. (...what?!)

Moira quite cavalierly experiments on prisoners and babies. She also has a machine that can manipulate age. Xavier knows and is fine with all of this. (wtf!?!?)

This is such a bonkers, messy way to rewrite both Moira and Magneto. Like, I can’t.

Eric the Red freed Magneto and then used the aging machine to turn Magneto back into an adult man at the peak of his powers. This Magneto is understandably upset at having been turned into a science lab experiment/baby and he mops the floor with the X-Men.

Cyclops makes the executive decision to flee Muir Isle, because they have no chance against Magneto and he now realizes Professor X is unprotected and probably at the mercy of Eric the Red. Wolverine calls him a big fat sissy to his face.

I kind of dig that the X-Men don't win a lot of their fights yet. They’re still treated as relatively unseasoned, especially as a team, and they don’t automatically win at the end of every story. It also gives Magneto more oomph as a villain.

Anyway, when the X-Men arrive at the mansion, they’re defeated by Firelord, Galactus’ former herald. He’s been duped into attacking them by Eric the Red. Firelord is convinced the X-Men are the villains, because Eric went with the Wounded Gazelle Gambit: he even knocked out Havok and Polaris to pretend he was attacked by our merry mutants. (Next time we see them, they’re back to their normal, non-brainwashed selves.)

In her new apartment, Jean is introducing her parents and Professor X to her new girlfriend roommate Misty Knight when princess Neramani (of, uh, space) teleports into the room. And then Firelord attacks Charles! Jean has absolutely zero chill for all of this.

I know very little about Misty Knight, but every time she appears, she responds to anything remotely surprising by drawing her gun. I assume she shoots her paper boy every morning. (X-Men 105)

The entire point of this issue is to show how big a threat Phoenix is. Claremont originally wanted to use a big name like Thor or the Silver Surfer, but editorial nixed that: they feared that it would be emasculating for a popular character to be beaten by a girl. Once again, this proves how badly the Phoenix storyline was needed. Did Jean single-handedly introduce feminism to superhero comics? I’mma say yes.

With Jean distracted and Charles teaching Lilandra English telepathically so he can woo the pretty space-lady and/or get an explanation as to why the universe is ending, Eric the Red strikes, revealing himself to be: SHAKARI.

Yeah, no, I don’t recognize the name either, but the dude’s been working on this reveal for a while, so just let him have it.

He absconds with Lilandra through the Stargate and switches it off, just as the X-Men arrive. Jean casually turns it back on and because the Professor is all, “we’ve got to save her! I mean the universe!”, the X-Men jump through the gate.

Jean’s parents are all out of wtfs to give.

We take a break from Shi´Ar shenanigans with an inconsequential filler issue, where we flashback to Xavier while he was being driven crazy by his Space Trek dreams. It’s established that Moira and Xavier are ex-lovers and that Xavier’s melodramatic subconscious wants to kill the new X-Men. (Probably not for real, but who knows.) Next!

Still a better villain than Onslaught. (X-Men 106)

Anyway, the X-Men find themselves surrounded by aliens in front of the ginormous M’Kraan Crystal. The Shi’Ar are all: ‘dafuq you’re doing here’, Cyclops is all: ‘We’re here for Lilandra’, and the Shi’Ar are all: ‘You mean our prisoner and rogue princess?’ Scott decides that gathering more information is for losers and starts blasting, triggering a fight with the Imperial Guard.

Lilandra, meanwhile, is in the hands of Shakari and her big brother, Emperor D’Ken. He releases some nebulously defined monster - a Soul Drinker - to kill Lilandra. Nightcrawler saves her from its murderous clutches by teleporting two people for the very first time. Lilandra doesn’t barf up her insides, which is apparently a test of character, and proceeds to explain what’s what.

First, she tells the X-Men that she felt Professor Xavier when he was doing the telepathic care bear attack against the Z’Nox way back in the sixties and that she felt instantly drawn to him. She also explains that she’s D’Ken’s younger sister and leading a rebellion against her mad, power hungry brother. Why is he mad? Well...

The X-Men vs. Astrology! Riveting. (Still a better villain than Onslaught.) Although, “I’m a Pisces” sounds a lot lamer than “I was born under the Nine Death Stars. (X-Men 107)

The guy in the mohawk is Gladiator, he is consistently the worst. Even when Lilandra reveals that opening that gate triggers the End of All That Is, he’s still all: “Juuust following orders.”

The Imperial Guard goes in for a smackdown, but the X-Men are fortunately saved by the Starjammers. (Space pirates, not an 80’s rock group.) They are:

Corsair, a debonair dude with one golden earring. Pretty obviously a human.

Raza, cyborg with a temper and somehow bald whilst rocking a ponytail.

Ch’od, lizard creature. Has a white fluffy spider monkey-thing that I don’t recognize and but is apparently called Waldo Ch'ee. (I pray it just got lost in Marvel history and that it doesn’t get squashed at some point. It’s adorable.)

Hepzibah, cute cat girl with a gun. Involved with Corsair, except he can’t pronounce her name so he just gave her the completely unrelated nickname Hepzibah? Dude!

Jean, having learned psychic etiquette from Charles Xavier, immediately violates their privacy and scans their minds, figuring out that Corsair is Scott’s dad. Superficial telepathic read, my ass.

Meanwhile, power builds up in the M’Kraan Crystal and the universe briefly blinks out of existence, threatening to tear open the fabric of the universe if this keeps up. To emphasize that this is a Big Honking Deal, we cut to Earth where the Avengers, Fantastic Four and Peter Corbeau (rumored to have an IQ over 200) are all: oy, did the universe just stop existing?

That’s Hank McCoy for “we’re fucked’”. Hi Jimmy Carter! (X-Men 108)

Apparently, this is the year the X-Men can’t catch a break, because after being beaten by the Juggernaut, Magneto and the Imperial Guard, they are soundly trashed by Jahf, the Guardian of the Crystal. That is, until Phoenix drops a small meteor on him. In a story beat that I really like, Jahf isn’t fazed at all: the Phoenix, despite her immeasurable power, isn’t omnipotent. Sometimes, you need a scalpel instead of a sledge hammer: it’s Banshee whose sonic scream can scramble the guardian’s circuitry.

Unfortunately, defeating the first guardian only awakens a second, stronger one, so…

Raza decides he’s had enough of this nonsense and, displaying admirable proactive problem solving skills, simply tosses D’Ken into the M’Kraan crystal. Presumably, the Crystal is annoyed at being attacked by someone who also has an unnecessary apostrophe in their name, and it lashes out, trapping everyone involved in their own personal hell. For Jean, this is apparently death, but she’s all: “Um, I was recently deceased, no big deal,” and snaps out of it.

The Phoenix reaches out the crystal, which is slowly cracking under the weight of the universe. (Same.) If it shatters, it will destroy the universe, devouring all . Think of it as a cosmic reset button. The Phoenix is its opposite, a bringer of energy and life, so it might be able to fix the crystal. Problem is, Jean has trouble remaining anchored in this reality, because she’s being absorbed by the crystal.

OKAY. SO MANY THINGS TO LOVE. Even when allied with a cosmic force, Storm proves she’s our queen. Furthermore, other than Jean/Scott, Ororo/Jean might the most fleshed out relationship among these new X-Men at this point. Their friendship is consistently a highlight.

Also, rough, rough day for Corsair. (X-Men 108)

Phoenix mends the crystal with a lot of mystical space mumbo jumbo and… er, that’s it. Cosmic balance restored, she poofs the X-Men home.

Lilandra tags along with them, explaining that D’Ken’s tinkering with the Crystal left him catatonic and unfit to rule. As his sister, she’s the rightful heir, but since she also led a rebellion, she kind of cancelled by her empire. She announces she will stay on Earth with Charles while the Shi´Ar iron out the details of the succession. So, instead of consolidating her power base and claim to the throne, she peaces out to explore her feelings for the hairless pink alien who can peek into her brain. Solid.

And with that final bit of space opera, we say goodbye to Dave Cockrum and welcome artist John Byrne. The Claremont/Byrne-run is widely seen as the definitive X-Men run, so hold onto your butts and let’s see where the Phoenix takes us, shall we?

Didn’t you take Art History? I stand by my space mumbo jumbo comment from earlier, but check out these Byrne-pages:

Chef’s kiss. (X-Men 108)

Ugliest Costume: I have a fierce hatred for the Shi'ar's weird wispy triangular hair/feather/thingies, but those are technically not costumes. So: Lilandra, why is your boob window a bug?

Best new character: I’m not much of a fan of space operas or the Shi’Ar and their extended court, but I do have a soft spot for the Starjammers, Hepzibah in particular. I fondly remember her being a part of the X-Men at some point in the future, although I don't think her actual unpronounceable name ever gets revealed.

Most audacious retcon: Moira the housekeeper is actually an evil morally complicated mad scientist.

What to read: Issue 105, 107 and 108, for all your Phoenix Saga needs.

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phantomphangphucker · 4 years

Text

Ectober Day 7: Hero - But It’s Not Funny

*a sequel to Realities Little Joke For Infinity* Highly recommend reading that first but it’s not exactly necessary.

Tony has a bad habit of adopting strays. Particularly the stupidly heroic kind that were too reckless and too selfless for their own good. So of course he wasn’t going to just ignore the random teen that literally saved the universe only to disappear into the future. Even if said teen was somewhat dead and the only hero left in a world and time that seriously needed more.

Tony grins as he finally gets the connection to work, making his face appear on the strange future teens laptop; or whatever tech people used in whatever time this kid’s in. Going a bit wide-eyed and wheezing when the first thing he sees is Phantom -in alien PJ’s, because of course the first thing he sees on the kid who showed up in a t-shirt and jeans to an active warzone is pjs- shrieking and jumping a foot off the ground while holding a full pot off coffee; which predictably sends the contents of said coffee pot flying into the air and splattering all over the teens face and floor.

Phantom looks to the screen slowly, with steaming coffee dripping off his chin, hair and eyelashes, “seriously?”.

At that Tony can’t help but bend over laughing. Straightening up and looking at the coffee pot, “what were you even doing walking around with a full coffee pot?”.

“Well I was going to drink it. But now it’s as empty as my wallet”, Phantom looks down at the pot and grumbles, “ya know what? Fuck it. I’m still gonna drink it”, then pointing his finger around and telekinetically making all the droplets of coffee on him and the floor float back into the pot.

Tony watches, a little disgusted, as the kid practically takes a full swing of the previously spilled coffee, shrugs, and sits down by his own screen; feet clearly pulled up onto the chair seat as well and coffee pot cradled between his knees and chest. Tony eyeballs the coffee pot, “you’re really going to drink that huh?”.

Phantom shrugs, “I know what’s on my floor”, looks down at the carpet and shrugs again while muttering, “a Zone damned biohazard of blood n’ ‘plasm that’s what. Oh!”, eyes widening a little, “and a sock with a questionable stain”, looking back to the screen, “‘s not like I can get sick anyway. I could drink this shit outta a radioactive waste barrel and be fine. Prob’ taste like shit tho”.

Tony wheezes both amused and pained, “please don’t kid”, that... that would definitely make him gag.

Phantom chuckles, “don’t intend to”.

The two sit in silence for a bit. Tony taking in the teens appearance. There’s hand-shaped bruising coating his neck, one of his fingers is clearly broken, and there’s a pencil-sized hole going clean through the other hands palm. Phantom doesn’t even seem to care about the state of his body, considering how relaxed he seems and the PJ’s. Plus, no way would Tony be carrying anything, including a full pot of coffee, with his hands in the state Phantom’s are.

Phantom yawns, Tony noticing that he’s missing more than a handful of teeth, before Phantom asks, “so...why’s the past tin can face-timing my laptop?”.

Tony puts on a smile, so it was a laptop. Neat. “future or not, I’ve adopted you as one of my brats. I remember you saying there wasn’t superheroes in your age”, waving his hand around, “no older generation to guide the newer. Well you're getting the older generation now”, shrugging and smiling more genuinely, “plus underroos won’t stop talking about you”. Understatement of the century, Peter was thrilled to meet another teen hero, and wouldn’t stop going on about what powers he might have or if he even has anyone to support him. The latter Tony cares about more.

Phantom wheezes, “whom the fuck is ‘underroos’?”, shaking his head, “so ya wanna be my mentor of sorts and help me blast my foes from the past?”.

Tony smirks and nods, this kid’s humour sure was something else, “exactly. And you met before, the kid? Peter?”. Sure it had been a few months but he couldn’t have seriously just forgotten?

Phantom tilts his head, “the red and blue teenager?”.

Tony grins, “you got it, kid”, eyeing the teen's hands again, “your hands gonna be fine?”.

Phantom waves one hand around, chugging more coffee, “eh don’t worry your metal ass about it. I heal like crazy”, stretching his feet out and resting them on the desk, “I’m just putting it off a while on my hands ‘cause the broken ribs and missing bits of spine are kinda more important ya know?”.

Tony rubs his temples, “Jesus Christ”, just how much damage can this teen sustain? That kind of injury should kill a person.

Phantom laughs, probably at Tony’s pained expression, “don’t worry about that either! Not like I can die twice! Haha!”.

Tony looks back to the screen at that, feeling a bit more serious, “yeah, Thanos said something like that. That you were dead but alive. And you confirmed it. What did he even mean?”.

Phantom purses his lips, “well I could explain but that also could mess with the time stream and could result in some weird immoral science crap”. Tony doesn’t get a chance to comment on that as Phantom turns his head to the side and whines exaggeratedly at the thin air, opening his mouth as wide as looks physically possible, maybe even past that, “tiiiiiiime dadddddddyyyyyyy, will this break the time stream? Your problem child has a proooooobleeeeeeem”.

Tony wheezes into his hands, “Christ”, and stares dumbfounded as a giant hourglass with purple sand comes out of nowhere and smacks the teen in the face, making Phantom fall out of the chair with a thud.

Phantom groans and begins laughing, righting himself and spinning the hourglass around, pointing the bottom of it at the screen, it reading ‘you’re fine’. Tony is so not reading into that, kid had someone like Strange in his corner. Phantom sits back down, lifting up the hourglass like it’s a weight, “Kay Kay Kay, so I’m a halfa right? Unique creature, that’s what I am. A fucked up little science project gone wrong, or right. Your choice. My folks screwed up in the lab and boom!”, he sticks his limbs out comically before righting himself and catching the coffee pot he effectively tossed in the air, “a whack-a-mole of electricity and a wormhole decided to stop my tiny little heart. Also restarted it too though! So it’s cool”, tilting his head, “wait... didn’t I already explain this?”.

Tony sighs, “sort of. We were in the middle of a war”.

Phantom quirks an eyebrow, “your point? That was, like, the bloody third one I’ve been in”, rolling his hand around, “first there was the High Ghost King, his fifty-thousand odd skeletons, and objects of near-unlimited power. The alternate future where an evil me single-handedly annihilated humanity, talk about traumatising having to fight yourself literally”, tilting his head, “and no clue if the plant guy with his army of mind-controlled people and plants or the sleep guy with his army of Walkers, counted as ‘wars’. And eh!”, snapping his fingers, “there was that guy I stole the Reality Gauntlet from! He took over the planet and turned people into clowns and shit. So that might be big enough to count as a war, even if it was just him versus me. But then the tornado guy caused storms all over the planet too so would that count then too?”, shrugging, “eh whatever. I’m sticking with three. Pariah would have eventually destroyed the Zone, which woulda ended the universe. Dan was actively on his way to ending all life in the universe, probably all death too. And grape guy, Thanos, was about to annihilate half the life in the universe which honestly would just end all life eventually... maybe”.

Tony stares at the kid before wheezing some more and falling backwards, “Christ”, righting himself and his chair, “there is something seriously wrong with your life. Like, seriously wrong”. Apparently the future was a freaking mess and fixing its crap was all on one random teen's shoulders. All because the kid died, which somehow gave him superpowers, and decided to make something good out of that death. Talk about unfair. And messed up. Really messed up. At least Tony had his team and they had each other, “please tell me you have some kind of support?”.

Phantom grins and nods eagerly, “got my guy in the chair techy, he destroyed a sataliget once! My rich activist goth, she sued one of my enemies into oblivion. And a ghost hunter who only sometimes tries to murder me and got a nanobot supersuit running through her veins; she can lowkey kick my ass if I hold back enough to avoid accidentally killing the living”, wagging his finger at the screen and getting really close, “us dead fucks are borderline indestructible immortals, halfas even more so”, leaning back and shrugging, “can still die, or fade it’s called for the spookies, though. Well, most can anyway. Timedaddy’s straight-up immortal. But if they died then, well, then the universe would literally implode from the time-stream collapsing”, and makes a little explosion sound and motion with his hands. Oh fuck, the kid was really just a damn kid. And from the sounds of it, his entire support was three teenagers. Ah Hell. Oh and some time being, ghost?, that just left him to his own devices.

Tony shakes his head, “you know what? That doesn’t actually make me feel any better”.

Phantom shrugs, drinks, swishes the coffee around, “don’t know what to tell you, man, my entire existence is pretty fucked up. My archenemy is my uncle, wants to adopt me, and gave me his inheritance. My girlfriend has a solid murder boner for me. My parents get giddy at the idea of dissecting me and are actually worse about that the odd time they’ve been successful. The kids’ at school think I’m their personal punching bag. The government would love to shoot me full of missiles and bombs. Pretty sure my sis is just using me for her research paper on ghost psychology or whatever. And my friendships are pretty much based on the three of us just being really weird”.

Tony groans, this kid probably needed more help and support that literally any other teen or hero. “ClockPops is great though. We play chess”,

Tony blinks, mentally pausing, “you... play chess? Seriously?”, this kid seemed to have more issues sitting still than Peter did. Tony finds it hard to believe he can sit through even half a game of chess.

Phantom nods and grins, “yup. Switched the pieces out for shot-glasses once, it was great. One of my teachers is cool too. He crossdressed and pretended to be his own sister to get me to try harder on a test; it worked better than it had any right to”.

Tony blinks and breathes, “your life”, shaking his head because it sounded like the future was just pure insanity, “well now I’m here and while I’m a bit reckless and a recovering alcoholic, I’m not insane”.

Phantom chuckles, “I’ll probably prove to be a bit much for you then. I’d have to be stupid to not think I’m not at least marginally nuts. Nowhere near frootloopy but eh”.

Tony sighs, being self-aware enough -or just not giving enough of a damn- to recognise that was both impressive and depressing. Impressively depressing. “A few of us Avengers are trained doctors and psychologists outside of being experienced heroes. So kid? You’ve got all of us. At least for verbal advice. Strange already went and basically confirmed that paying you a visit wasn’t a smart idea”.

Phantom snorts and rolls his eyes, sipping a bit more before staring down the pot at the small amount left. Speaking into the pot, “oh yeah, I can just imagine all the time problems that could cause. I’m surprised this is okay”.

Tony can’t help chuckling at the slightly silly image, though he’s not sure why the kid doesn’t just drink what’s left, savouring it maybe? “Same. Strange looked at me like he was questioning my sanity. He’s probably going to pester you about the Clock guy you keep mentioning”, grumbling to the side, “I just hope Loki will keep his trickster mitts off you”. Because fuck, they’d probably get on like fire and more fire. Which yeah, slightly horrifying mental image. Probably inevitable though. Loki was already impressed, amused, and interested by Phantom and literally everything the teen did after showing up. Seriously though, who’s first thought when fighting giant spaceships with mouths and other horrifying shit, is to turn it into bouncy balls and worms??? And a smoothie for a reward? For effectively saving the universe? Kid was a trickster, dabbled in death kind of literally, and ‘gave precisely zero fucks’. Loki would have a field day and probably be a horrid influence. Though thinking of it, Phantom might be a bad influence on Loki. Loki generally had reasons for anything beyond mild messing with people. Phantom seemed more likely to just go buck wild purely because he could. Even if he seemingly had a heart of gold and more self-sacrificial bones in his body than actual bones. Seemed like his entire world/time belittled and beat the shit out of him, and yet he gladly got dissected and lost chunks of his freaking spine for them. At least he had the power to back it up.

Tony quirks an eyebrow at mist, or something, leaving the kid’s mouth before Phantom goes wide-eyed and Tony jerks as an actual literal swear-on-every-ironsuit-and-the-entire-tower cartoonish rocket smashes apart what he’s assuming is-was a window; sending glass flying everywhere... and Phantom flying off-screen, the coffee pot going up in the air and sounding like it smashed apart on the ground.

Tony can practically hear the glare in Phantom’s voice, “hey! You spilled my damn coffee!”, while a robot blasts into the room, breaking more glass and bits of wood from the looks of it.

The robot pauses, seems to frown apologetically before shrugging, “apologies whelp, but it is no matter! You won’t need such things after I skin you!“. Tony chokes and gags a little at that. “Also-”, pointing to where Phantom probably is, “-that was practically empty”. Tony then stares as Phantom comes back in screen -looking all black and white- only for the robot to shoot a missile at him immediately, Phantom just sort of shrugs and lets the missile hit him in the face. This kid seriously really didn’t give a damn about his own well being.

And not even seconds later Peter walks in out of the blue, face lighting up as he notices the screen and probably Phantom’s very noticeable self on it, and dashes over. Obviously noticing Phantom’s current situation, “oh Phantom! Kick his butt!”.

Phantom does a silly thumbs up at the screen and immediately gets stabbed in the shoulder. Tony watches in slight disbelief at the kid looking at the knife, saying, “oh! You got a new knife! Shit is the handle engraved?!?”. And the robot actually stops and replies with a wide grin, “it was a valentines gift from Ember! Impressive right?”.

Tony and Peter both blink at the fight effectively stopping as Phantom pulls out the knife and looks it over, seeming impressed, “actually yeah”, pointing almost aggressively at the robot, “you got her something too right? You’re fucking horrible for that man”.

The robot rolls Its eyes, how metal is moving that organically Tony has no clue. “Of course whelp, those drum sticks you can sing into”. Phantom facepalms and Peter actually shakes his head in disappointment. Though Tony agrees, that was awful. But who talks with their enemy -who wants to skin them for peat's sake!- about presents?

Phantom makes a tsk tsk sound, “you dumbass, she got you a sick-ass knife and you got her a knick-knack? Seriously?”, Phantom walks off-screen, the two watching as what they’re assuming is cash flys over to the robot and Phantom returns on screen, “go by some flowers to make up for that crappy present. And for the love of everything, don’t get roses”, waving his hand around, “that’s so cliche. Go with tulips and forget-me-nots”.

The robot inspects the cash before flying off-screen, presumably back out through the window It destroyed, “I will have your pelt next time, whelp!”.

Phantom chuckles, shouting back, “sure you will, Skulkie! Ghost Zones greatest hunter”. Tony and Peter can feel the sarcasm in that. “Also! No you don’t have to ask! An engraved knife would be a wicked Christmas Truce present!”. Tony sighs when a ball or something slams into Phantom’s stomach and sends him flying off-screen.

Peter leaning towards the camera, “woah! You okay?”.

Phantom’s laughter echoes horribly, “right as rain! Mind you, it’s not actually raining”, righting himself and pulling himself up into the previously knocked over chair, “don't mind Skulker, he’s a poacher and I’m rare. Practically one of a kind actually. A poachers dream prize. His girlfriend has a mind-controlling guitar and occasionally attempts at world domination”. A ghost-shaped guitar floats on-screen, Phantom grabbing it, “she gives awesome presents though”, and gives the guitar a good couple strums.

Peter’s eyes go wide, “you can play the guitar?!?”, tilting his head and asking what is in Tony’s opinion a more important question, “wait, your enemies buy you presents?”, tilting his head back, “oh man that’s awesome”. Tony just shakes his head with a smile, teenagers.

Phantom grins and strums some more before the guitar floats off-screen, “all my enemies do”, shrugging, “for the Christmas Truce and my death-day anyway. But that’s normal. A ghost culture thing. Even the prison warden guy, whose got special torture weapons set aside just for little ol’ me, buys me some kind of present. Heck! Even the eyeballs do! And they’ve repeatedly tried to assassinate me”.

Tony blinks, “kid, that makes no sense. But I’m glad they’re at least occasionally nice to you”. Hell knows Phantom needs someone to be nice to him.

Peter tilts his head, “what even is a ‘death-day’? Sounds dark”.

“Oh nothing special, just the day I died. Like a birthday! But for death! A real dead-ringer of a holiday!”, and laughs loudly before rolling his eyes at Tony, waving his hand around, “eh, I’m kinda their king so be kinda a dick move to not give me gifts on literally the two biggest holidays”.

Peter practically shrieks, “WHAT! You’re a king! Oh that is so cool”. Tony blinks, “you did mention something about being the guardian of death and Earth”.

Phantom laughs some more and finger-guns while winking at Peter, “yup! Very important, much power”, and grins stupidly before pointing to the air above his head; a green floating crown bursting to ‘life’ with green mist or something wafting off, followed by a black cape with a flaming white collar and large flaming green skulls pinning it closed with a shadowy chain.

Peter cheers immediately, then adding, “Loki would love this!”. Tony points at him, “no. I want to keep that one as far away as possible for as long as possible”.

Phantom snickers, “I have chronic bad luck, so don’t count on that working out for you. Spidey probably has better tastes than you though, Ironass”.

Tony shakes his head with a smile, “you like making up names for people huh?”.

Phantom grins meanly, “it pisses people off. Which makes them easier to hit”, and holds up a fist, smacking a hand on his bicep.

Tony can’t help but laugh at that, “you got a point kid!”, though that was stupid reckless, and effectively confirmed him being tricky. One of Tony’s tech toys starts beeping so she moves to check it out. Peter taking his place in the chair. Glancing back at Tony before looking back to the screen, “hey I’ve got a question, teen to teen. What’s being a hero to you? Why do you do it? It just... it seems like your only suffering for it. Waaaaay more than normal. And not making stuff much better for it”.

Phantom hums, spinning around in the chair, “a hero's not afraid to give their life, and anything worth doing is worth getting hurt for. I do it so others will not suffer. That is all. It doesn’t matter if things change or not. If there’s still unnecessary violence and pain, then it is still a hero's place to grab their fists around it and pulverise it to Hell and back. So long as cruelty exists I will be there to stand against it. With a smile on my face and a laugh in my heart and Core. Because there is no greater joy, no greater choice, no greater path, than self-sacrifice for the sake of another. Regardless who they are, what they are. Good or bad. Young or old. And whether they support you, or not”, Phantom nods, puts his hands behind his head, cape bunching up, and looks to the side, “and maybe someday things will change. I doubt it, but who knows. But if things do, if that kind of future is on the horizon, then I think I’ll rest. Until then, I’ll be here. Doing what I do and suffering immeasurably for it. Until the world doesn’t need ‘heroes’ anymore. Till it doesn’t need me anymore”, looking back at the screen, Tony having walked back over slowly though the kid doesn’t pay him any mind, “so I guess, being a hero to me is being the embodiment of a brighter future. To absorb the suffering of the world”, sticking a finger up, “like a paper towel!”. Tony chokes at that a little; though the kids' sudden seriousness and introspection was just as startling as last time.

Tony shakes his head, “you make it sound like you’re immortal, kid. Also, that’s what a team’s for, to help share the load. The burden. Sure your ideals are noble and probably needed, but you can’t help anyone if you destroy yourself”.

Phantom smiles but something about it seems almost... sad. “In a way, I am. A ghost can not die and a human can not fade. A ghost ceases to exist when they fade and a human when they die. Yet I can do neither. So that raises the question, what is ‘death’ for a halfa? An idea? An ideal? A reality? Or just pointless conjecture. And besides, for a ghost to fade they must satiate their Obsession. Be satisfied with the fulfilment of their existence”, pointing to his chest, “and my Obsession? Protection. To protect is a physical and mental need for me. And it will never be satisfied till there’s nothing left needing protection. And it is thus that I will always be here”, shrugging and chuckling, “likely anyway”.

Tony blinks, that... that changed a lot actually. It also explained a lot. This wasn’t some kid playing hero, or even an experienced hero just doing what’s right and their job. This wasn’t someone stuck in a bad way and doing what needed to be done purely because no one else could. This wasn’t someone trying to do good to make up for their sorted past. This was someone wise beyond their years, with little to no regard for themselves, and a living -half-living- embodiment of the word ‘hero’. Watching the teen turn his head at someone -likely his mom- shouting that supper was ready. There was a rocket-powered fistfight minutes ago and his parents’ didn’t even check on him. Christ that was depressing. But it also made him want to help this kid out all the more.

Phantom turns back to the screen, “whelp that’s my queue then I guess. And let me guess? This-” gesturing at the screen, “-is gonna become a thing? Which totally cool, little warning next time. And keep this mind, walking the straight and narrow takes more time than I got. I will steal, mildly harm, trick, and lie, as I see fit”.

Tony rolls his eyes, he’d expect no different from a kid basically left up to their own devices, “we’re all guilty of that, kid”. Phantom just laughs as the screen goes dark.

Tony leans back, well fuck, he wasn’t prepared for the kid to have shit that bad. And the King situation definitely threw him through a loop. He’ll have to talk to Thor -not Loki, dear God not Loki- about that. Being a hero and a king.

Regardless, they’re gonna help the weird spooky future kid out. And Peter absolutely liked Phantom, which hopefully wouldn’t be a bad thing. Hopefully. (And it wasn’t, if you ignored Peter carrying out more than a few pranks on Phantom’s behalf).

End.

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arlingtonpark · 3 years

Text

SNK 138 Review

The moral of this chapter is that the rumbling is all Mikasa’s fault. #truth.

Mikasa loves Eren. She loves, loves, loves him.

Eren’s family brought her into their home and they became her new family. Eren wrapped a scarf around her, and she never forgot that. Mikasa wanted to live a quiet, peaceful life with Eren, and nothing would stop that from coming true.

No matter how many times that suicidal blockhead got into trouble, she’d bail him out. Bullies, titans, warriors. On the street or on the battlefield.

She’s indulged Eren’s pursuit of freedom, but she’s always kept her eyes on what was always on the horizon: a mountain cottage with just her and Eren. Basically her old life but with her new family this time.

It’s what she’s always wanted. It was her wish.

But she failed.

This time, Eren went too far. In multiple meanings of that phrase.

Eren is easily the worse thing to ever happen to humanity. Like, maybe a giant asteroid hitting the planet would be worse, but idk. We saw there were many survivors, but it’s genuinely a question if human civilization can bounce back from this.

The human death toll is only the tip of the iceberg. Food and shelter will be hard to come by. Vital infrastructure is destroyed, so shipping emergency supplies into damaged areas will be impossible. Not just food, but medicine and materials to rebuild. The rumbling also probably ruined a lot of farmland, so there won’t be any food for a long time no matter what. Now consider the environment Eren caused. Many habitats were probably crushed, which means there is a mass dying off of animal life to come. And on and on, deeper and deeper into the abyss.

The whole planet is screwed.

Oh, yeah, and he killed most of his friends.

Not even Mikasa can save Eren from all this.

Mikasa has always clung to the hope of a simple life with Eren, but what she realizes in that vision she has is that there is no hope. Her dreams are dead.

I’ve been very critical of Mikasa for being slow to realize that. She just wasn’t making any progress with accepting Eren needed to die. Every single time it was brought up that they had to kill Eren, Mikasa would react like it’s the first time she’s heard it. Every discussion of that need seemed to bounce right off her.

There was no progress, and as a reader, that was so frustrating. She couldn’t accept it right until the last second. I was so sure Isayama was setting up a scenario where Mikasa failed to let Eren go at the moment of truth, and then she would be the one to get killed.

(Dark? Yeah, but the Earth is ruined, so why the fuck not?)

How Mikasa comes to let go of Eren and her dreams was so beautifully done that I honestly think it makes up for all the thick-headedness we got from her up until now.

The takeaway from Mikasa’s vision is that it’s not real. It’s not her reality. She could have told Eren how she really felt back then, but she didn’t and it’s too late to take it back.

Arguably, it was too late even before they joined the military. Eren’s death was guaranteed when he gained the Attack Titan. Living alone with Eren was always going to last a handful of years.

I think that’s what Mikasa realizes in this sequence. This world where she essentially gets what she wants is not her world. It’s not even a memory she can cherish. It’s what she wants, but cannot have now.

It’s a long dream.

(As far as Mikasa is concerned)

I don’t actually know what this vision is supposed to be exactly. Maybe it’s an alternate reality or a previous reality (ie a timeloop). Maybe Mikasa is seeing this because of Eren or maybe it’s her ackerblood. That can be explained later, but for now, it doesn’t matter.

The point is that Mikasa’s life is cruel, and she needs to focus on what little, minor, insignificant parts of it are beautiful.

It would have been easy to kill Eren in righteous fury. He harmed and killed so many people. I for one am glad he’s dead, and I hope he burns in hell. And I don’t think anyone would’ve been surprised if Mikasa killed him with horrified tears in her eyes. But that’s not what happened.

She killed him with a smile on her face. She killed him as an act of love. I think a big part of why Eren made so many people suffer is that he himself was suffering. The way he saw it, so long as people existed outside the walls, he couldn’t be free, and so long as he wasn’t free, he would struggle endlessly until the day he died. He would never know peace.

That doesn’t make him worthy of anyone’s sympathy, but it does make Mikasa’s slaying of him an act of kindness.

In hindsight, Mikasa was always going to be the one to kill him. She was the only one who’s killing of Eren could be reasonably presented as an act of love.

At last Mikasa has returned Eren’s favor: she wrapped the scarf around him. Just as Eren ended her suffering by taking her in, Mikasa has ended Eren’s suffering by taking his life.

Instead of thinking of all the harm Eren’s caused, Mikasa chose to think of the good he did.

Eren did wrap the scarf around her. What he’s done since does not diminish that kindness. In the time they knew each other, they were in it together, against the titans, and both enemies in the walls and outside it. And they cared about each other.

Is that petty compared to all the people Eren’s killed?

Yes, it is.

If you didn’t know him personally, that is. I’m willing to grant that Mikasa’s relationship with Eren makes her justified in having a unique perspective on him and his actions.

If this vision means anything, it means Eren loved her. What’s sad is that the closest Mikasa will ever get to experiencing that love is kissing his corpse.

But Mikasa isn’t abandoning Eren either. Like in Trost, she accepts that she cannot live with him, but pledges to live on regardless. Eren tells Mikasa to forget about him because apparently he thinks that to move on from him, she has to reject him completely. She has to reject even the memories she has of him.

Mikasa refuses. She even puts the scarf on as she’s preparing to kill him. Like in Trost, she promises to remember Eren even as she moves on from him.

What makes this moment so much more powerful than the one in Trost is that this time Mikasa is the one killing Eren.

I think this chapter cements Mikasa as a person of profound emotional strength. Who among us could kill their loved one as an act of mercy and smile the whole way through?

Mikasa killed Eren out of love rather than vengefulness, and in doing so, she has broken the cycle of violence.

Hallelujah!

I guess.

Eren is dead, the rumbling is over, and most of the cast is dead too. Soooooooo…, where do we go from here?

The sequence with Mikasa was great, but taking a wider view of the story, I’m left wondering how Isayama is going to play the aftermath of this disaster.

Attack on Titan is not as hopeful a story as people think it is. “The world is cruel, but also beautiful.” I think people pay too much attention to the latter half of that quote. Yes, hope glimmers through the darkness, but that’s all it does. It glimmers. The light is still enveloped in darkness.

Just ask yourself: what are we supposed to make of all this?

The climax is over, but it’s basically a wash for everyone involved. Humanity survived, but will have to deal with famine and ruination for decades to come. Eren succeeded in crippling humanity, but failed to fully wipe them out. The Alliance saved humanity, but at the cost of not only their lives, but the lives of their loved ones, too.

There is nothing beautiful about this.

In the real world, violence and cruelty are not as common as Attack on Titan would have you believe. I think the series is smart on how it’s described people overcoming their animosity: everyone has a monster inside them and everyone needs to work hard to keep that monster in check. Unfortunately, the series vastly overestimates how powerful that monster is.

“I got the idea for Attack on Titan from a computer game. The whole universe was under attack from aliens. I thought if those monsters ate humans, that would be pretty interesting. The cruelty of man-eating titans. I think it came from my experience of growing up in a farm. As a child, I remember thinking ‘all living creatures must get nutrition from other living creatures to survive.’ We might call it cruel, but it is actually the norm.”

-Isayama, on his inspirations for Attack on Titan

Humans are not like animals. Human beings have created a complex web of sociopolitical and economic relationships called “society” which other animals do not have. Yes, humans commit violence because of a need they must have satisfied, similar to how an animal hunts for nutrition, but human needs are strongly affected by society.

What this means is that it is always possible to modify society so those needs can be met through less violent means.

Humans have a strong need for community. But nationalism isn’t the only way to express or satisfy that need. There are other outlets like sports or religion that can do the job. I’m not saying that Floch would’ve turned out alright if he’d gotten a hobby he could pal around with everyone with…well, actually, yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Extremism is always a choice. It is never inevitable.

Attack on Titan acknowledges that people can do better individually, but I don’t think it’s ever acknowledged that herd mentality doesn’t always hold.

And no, I’m not counting the Marleyans at Ft. Salta as an example of that. They made peace with the Eldians en masse, but then Isayama, almost as if to mock the very idea of making amends, has the Eldians turn into titans and destroy the fort.

An ending where Eren outright wins was never going to happen. The laws of good storytelling required that he get a comeuppance for resorting to the rumbling. That didn’t mean the Alliance had to win.

After reading the chapter, I was left with an overwhelming sense of emptiness. No one really got what they wanted even though they all basically lost everything. I’m glad there’ll be one final chapter to sort it all out because it can’t end like this.

Eren committed the most despicable act imaginable; the Alliance acted bravely to stop him. The story can’t end with the Alliance no better off than him.

He was going to die no matter what, so the simple fact that he’s dead and (some) of the Alliance are alive isn’t much of a consolation.

Even humanity being alive doesn’t really mean Eren failed. Paradis is self-sufficient and mostly intact. They can ride out whatever environmental blowback the rumbling causes with little trouble. Any leg up Paradis gets because of what Eren did is a victory for him.

Something more needs to happen that really sticks it to Eren. I don’t know what that could be, but next chapter will hopefully be the Eren POV we’ve been waiting for, so my fingers are crossed that Isayama will have something up his sleeve.

Remaining question marks include the worm thing, Historia’s baby, and the fallout from this possible timeloop reveal. All three of these plot points could easily be fumbled in the final chapter in a way that ruins the ending.

If Historia’s child is really born with titan powers, then they’ll die by age 13. It’s like being born with a crippling birth defect. Hooray?

As for Historia herself, what role did she play in Eren’s plan, really? Everyone’s assumed the details of her pregnancy have been obscured because it’s relevant to the main action of the story. Somehow.

It’d be really lame if she was just a passive bystander. If the pregnancy was only tenuously relevant to the rumbling.

One idea I’ve toyed with is that the final chapter will actually be Historia’s POV and we’ll learn Eren’s POV through her.

We still don’t know what else was said between Eren and Historia when they discussed his plans. That conversation was a critical juncture for Eren: he confided his plans in a friend and they came out strongly against it. Returning to that moment is a good opportunity for us to see what Eren really thinks and what’s really driving him. And that can be done through Historia’s perspective.

Everything about the worm thing is a mess and I wish Isayama had kept it out of the story. Like, yes, this thing is “the source of all organic life” as Kruger put it. It is the first complex lifeform to evolve on Earth and all living species are descended from it.

Why does it have supernatural powers?

The worm thing’s motivation has been described as being to simply propagate, which is to say it’s more a force of nature than an intelligent being acting on a cognitive thought.

Its actions are purely conative. It acts purposefully, but not out of intelligent thought, like how a hyena acts to obtain food for itself. It has a goal it strives to achieve, but not in the same way as humans do.

(The greatest tragedy in Attack on Titan is that this distinction is apparently lost on Isayama)

I don’t know how the worm thing will be dealt with; I just think it’s weird to introduce this thing as a late stage antagonist when it’s just an animal doing its thing.

Speaking of questionable, late stage additions to the story: all this timeloop business.

We’re really doing this now? In the second to last chapter???

This is like if episode ten of Madoka Magica was the last episode. What can the existence of a timeloop add to this story-that’s-already-over.

How did it start? By what means? To what end? What does this add to the characters and themes of SNK?

Everything about is just… ??????

If nothing else, I expect the final chapter to at least try and resolve these plot points.

Next chapter is the last. Ladies and gentlemen, our final moments together are upon us. It has been a privilege playing with you tonight.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk 138 #snk chapter 138 #snk spoilers

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nat-20s · 4 years

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MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW

with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work

(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)

hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g

Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.

So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:

TV SHOWS

Good Omens

okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end

Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons. Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car. Satan is (sort of) fought.

Gravity Falls

sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better

(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)

Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER

Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.

It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes

MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)

Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)

Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.

As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.

Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma

MINI REC ALERT!

Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.

Community

Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:

Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.

MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.

Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA

BBC Merlin

Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.

I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.

Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-

Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!

Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era

Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.

Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large: Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.

OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes

What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead

I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other

Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?

Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.

MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.

MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.

Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)

happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly

Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.

that’s all I got for relevant movies right now

BOOK RECS

jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.

Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.

PODCAST RECS

Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a

mini rec

Alice Isn’t Dead

Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.

Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!

Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.

The Magnus Archives

You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.

John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad, Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.

Welcome to Nightvale

IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.

Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.

MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.

Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!

SONG RECS

okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access

Woah There Kimmy- Felix Hagan & the Family

Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright

Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright

The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three

The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three

In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South

Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy

Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon

Curses- The Crane Wives

Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives

OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!

#long post #if you didn't want this blame of-mice-and-mentality for enabling me posting #supernatural

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hello-im-not-a-possum · 4 years

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I read the book a while ago and DCTL!Sammy was so frustrating that as a Sammy fan, I need to rant about him.

The man in the book may have had his name, but that thing was not the Sammy Lawrence I knew and loved.

First off: What the fuck? No seriously, what the actual fuck. Who the fuck is this man and what has he done with Sammy? Lets take all the Sammys we’ve seen in canon and compare them:

Tapes!Sammy: A tired, annoyed and bitter musician who is done with the shit his boss is putting him through. He sounds like he has bags under his eyes and is wearing a perfected a Customer Service Smile(TM) during work hours. 10/10 would pay to listen to him bitch about Joey in the break room.

Chapter 2!Sammy: Creepy, dramatic, stupidly trying to get a demon to notice him, and a ham of a villain. Judging by the phrase “He will set US free” pared with the fact we find out he lives in the village built by the searchers and lost ones and that he appears to he their leader, it seems like in universe, he’s the only one who cares about these miserable, once human creatures enough to actively help them. Even Allison Angel and Tom Boris, the ‘good’ guys, slaughter them mercilessly in their own home after they kill their leader. 10/10, fucking superb you funky little cultist man. (Henry gets a pass because he’s just trying to live and appears to show more empathy to them/guilt to them: ‘I’m sorry I had to do that, nice hat though’, ‘please don’t cry’, to himself: ‘you bring death’ ‘once people, now fallen into despair’)

Hot Topic Q&A!Sammy: still creepy, but this man is a delight. He’s kind, he’s encouraging, he praises his fellow employees often, he’s passionate about his work and he has a wonderful sense of humor. We learn that he has memory problems but he’s trying his best. If this is what he’s normally like then I’m not surprised that the searchers/lost ones are willing to risk their lives to avenge him and I feel bad for him. 11/10, best sympathetic villain I’ve seen in years, would take him on a date to Coney Island.

Chapter 5!Sammy: Full of unbridled rage and pain after being betrayed. Attacks Henry on sight and we learn that he doesn’t like being seen without his mask. I don’t know what set him off this badly but I wish I did. 7/10, could’ve been better.

Employee Handbook!Sammy: Calling people sheep pre-ink is pretty weird to see from him considering that it’s an insult here and a term of endearment during the Q&A and I hope he’s either being sarcastic or is being blackmailed by Joey. 7/10, stop simping for Drew’s dick, king you deserve better wages, a better workplace, and a better boss.

DCTL!Sammy: I legit cringed every time he showed up and had to put the book down for a bit because he was just that unpleasant. Like Chapter 5!Sammy he is full of rage, unlike Chapter 5!Sammy he’s just lashing out at absolutely everyone and is a complete jackass who is also implied to be a bigot. The only thing this Sammy has in common with the other Sammys is his name, music and calling people ‘sheep’. If nobody said his name I’m pretty sure we’d all 100% accept that this is an entirely different character and that Sammy died before Buddy showed up. He’d be a terrible character who I’m pretty sure everybody would love to hate, but a different character nonetheless. His only redeeming quality is that he drinks ink and I think that’s kinda funny. -100/10, who are you and what have you done to my himbo ink husband?

Apparently, according to themeatly, DCTL!Sammy’s bad behavior is the ink making him more aggressive, and he disrespects Tom’s Job, not his skin color. I could buy those two points out of context as Sammy hates the pipes and pump switch in his office, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he took his anger out on Tom because he can’t do shit to Joey and Tom’s the one who installed the pipes/pump switch in his office. And I assume getting your flesh slowly but steadily transmuted into ink feels terrible and therefore, more likely to lash out more often.

But then why do we get the lines “What’s the matter Mr. Lawrence? Not used to giving someone like me respect?” (when Tom is talking to Sammy) and “I remembered Sammy calling the man from gent “Tom” and not “Mr. Conner” and I wondered if this was a habit of his. If this was what he did with everyone. Or maybe...how had Jacob put it in the bar about women and black people not getting the same respect” (Buddy thinking while watching Sammy talk to Abby)

How come we don’t get a non-inked DCTL!Sammy to compare to inked DCTL!Sammy? Why do we ONLY get the vile-behaving venom-spitting DCTL!Sammy? The audience might see the change in behavior and automatically think “Oh fuck something supernatural is going on” but this is a prequel story! we already know shit’s gonna go down! In story the characters could chalk it up to “Oh he’s probably being shitter than usual because he’s under a lot more stress than usual.” Or something like that.

What especially pisses me off is how EASY it would be to fix the bigot problem! What if we took the lines and changed them to: “What’s the matter Mr. Lawrence? Not used to giving a blue collar like me respect?” (So that it establishes that it IS the job and not the skin Sammy has a problem with like themeatly had wanted us to read it as apparently.) and “I Remembered Sammy calling the man “Tom” and not “Mr. Conner” and I wondered if this was a habit of his. If this is what he did with everyone. If it was, then how come he never calls me by my name?” He’d still be an asshole but at least he’d be a less shitty one.

Speaking of which, lets talk about something that I’ve never seen anybody else comment on: the fact he treats our protagonist Buddy with so much more disrespect than I’ve seen every other character in the book. It’s not just me, right? Was I really the only one who noticed this?

While Sammy does call everybody by their first names, (Joey, Tom, and Abby) the exception to this rule appears to be Daniel “Buddy” Lewek, whom he instead calls “Art Department”, while the other characters are referred to casually instead of properly, they at least are called their own names, poor Buddy gets a nickname based off of which part of the studio he works in.

Right off the bat, when Buddy helps DTCL!Sammy get the ink out of his face do you know what he immediately does afterwards? Does he say “Thanks for the help”, “Oh hey, you’re new.”, “I swear those pipes will kill me one day, good thing it wasn’t today” or anything else like that? nope!

He just drags Buddy to the closet and he forces him to clean up the ink. In the employee handbook, we know that only Wally is allowed to clean up ink-related messes and it’s fair to assume that Sammy knows this so why is he breaking the rules by forcing Buddy to clean the ink for just being at the wrong place at the wrong time? He didn’t even apologize for his behavior anywhere, he just intimidates Buddy and later in the book attempts to kill him for Bendy.

In conclusion: I am frustrated and this is not my inky himbo music man.

#sammy lawrence #buddy lewek #dreams come to life #dctl spoilers #bendy and the ink machine

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green-eyed-whumpster · 3 years

Text

My OC Universe: Rowan 130

Chapter 130 Summary: Marie comes for William. And surprises Rowan, seeing her after so long. (Tags: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)

Trigger Warnings: PTSD whumpee, reference to previous abuse, reference to character death, threat, man-handling, verbal abuse

Peter and Rowan managed to figure out a way for Rowan to completely avoid William’s company. Peter leashed him outside for a few hours so Rowan could wash in peace, Rowan would grasp brief walks outside to stay active and get some fresh air. He always felt awful for Peter, though, who insisted on sleeping in full view of their prisoner. Rowan gave him pillows and blankets from his bed which he refused, in case the comfort allowed him to sleep too deeply or for too long. William realised soon that his manipulation wouldn’t work on Peter, and Rowan was nowhere to be seen, so he spent the days in almost complete silence, waiting in agony for Marie to arrive and drag him kicking and screaming back to his prison.

One morning Peter was preparing a cup of tea when he heard sounds outside. Multiple sets of hooves churning up the melting snow as they drew closer to the house. His eyes lit up and he abandoned his tea to turn to William, who had also heard the sounds and was waiting for the inevitable, his pale grey eyes dull and filled with dread.

“I have a feeling you’re finally going to be out of Rowan’s life forever.” Peter grinned. “But I promise, if you escape and come back here, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” William nodded weakly and turned his head away.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m sure Marie will have me kneecapped to prevent it happening again.” He paused uncomfortably and looked up, flinching as Peter narrowed his eyes.

“If Rowan is going to stay here for the rest of his life,” He hesitated before continuing and shrugged. “Keep him happy –“ He jerked as Peter dragged him to his feet to glare at him easier. “I’m sure you will, but…he was a good creature, I am going to miss him.” He flinched as Peter struck him hard and attempted to blink through the pain.

“You’re so sick and twisted that you can’t even feel real emotions.” Peter hissed. “You never cared for him.”

“I may be cruel, but I still felt things.” William replied, grunting as he was shoved unceremoniously towards the door. “Most frequently pride. I never wanted to admit my fondness for him, and used his that remained to try and save myself. But still, his company was worth more than I told him. And I admit I took it for granted. You don’t have to tell him this if you don’t want to,”

“I won’t.” Peter snapped. “You’ve played with his head enough.”

The air was cold as he came outside, the horses bore the royal crest and the men dismounting them wore the formal royal armour, so Peter pulled William out as well. It was liberating to be able to drag William into the wet ground and push him forward, finally this creature would leave his property and his life.

A particularly impressive horse drew closer and as Peter looked it over he realised the creature mounted on it was a woman, and her dress was a thick crushed velvet embroidered with golden thread. He fell to his knees as he recognised the Queen’s face and lowered his head respectfully as she drew up to him.

“Are you the one who owns this land?” He had never heard the Queen’s voice before, and it was such a foreign concept that he struggled to process her words.

“Yes, your majesty,” His head jerked up as he heard the crunch of another approaching horse and immediately lowered it again as the Prince came beside his mother.

“Confiscate my husband.” She ordered and two of the soldiers moved to take William’s arms and drag him over to their company.

“Lovely to see you again, as well, my love,” He said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“And speaking of your love, did he receive you as you predicted?” She taunted in reply and he flushed, with rage or shame it wasn’t clear. “Speaking of, where is the boy?” She wondered.

“He…he’s inside,” Peter said softly, reluctant to reveal Rowan’s hiding place.

“Fetch him.” He looked up as the soldiers nodded and threw himself to his feet.

“I –“ He hesitated nervously and swallowed the lump in his throat. “If you would permit me to go and get him?” He asked. “I’m afraid he may be hiding from your majesty,”

“Why would he be hiding?” Marie scoffed.

“Your majesty apparently made a promise to kill him if you ever saw him again.” Peter said cautiously.

“You did.” Alexander added and Marie let out a sigh.

“Fine,” She said flippantly. “Whatever will save the most time, I’ve already spent three days on horseback.” Peter nodded and took a step back.

“Thank you, your majesty,” He said. “I won’t be a moment.” He raced into the house and opened the door to his room. He could hear the soft squeak of fear and felt his chest tighten sadly.

“Hey, Rowan?” He checked the rest of the space before crouching down to look beneath the beds. “The Queen wants to speak to you,” Rowan’s eyes shone black with the little light available beneath the beds.

“Please, Peter!” He squeaked. “She’ll kill me!”

“I don’t care what it means, but she has assured me that it means I won’t need to think about him ever again.”

“No, no Rowan,” Peter soothed. “I won’t let her. I’ll be there the whole time,” He extended a hand beneath the bed and watched as Rowan considered the idea.

“All right,” He murmured, shimmying out from his cave and taking Peter’s hand.

“Good, I promise you’ll be safe,” Peter smiled.

“If I don’t she’ll just send in guards to drag me out,” Rowan reasoned and Peter sighed softly.

“Just take a deep breath, it’s almost over.” He said as he wrapped a blanket around Rowan’s slim shoulders.

As he left the house again he felt Rowan’s hand tightening in his. Marie was waiting impatiently, looking around the sparse clearing and glancing over to her enslaved husband who was antagonising her son. She looked up when Peter reappeared and he saw her piercing blue eyes searching past him for the one she was after. He knelt once again in front of her but Rowan stood stoically beside him.

“Your majesty.” The cold air swallowed up his soft and stern voice.

“Rowan,” Marie said in mild surprise. “You look much healthier, this man treats you well?” Rowan appeared to be startled by her question and hesitated.

“He-he does, thank you, your majesty.” He muttered. He was confused by her interest.

“Good, you look to be in good health.”

“And you, your majesty, considering,” The last word was barely a whisper, but both the royals heard it.

“The impertinence,” Alexander hissed, but Marie held a hand out to him.

“He was only enquiring.” She answered calmly. “Considering the damages that William’s presence certainly inspired, he is entitled to a level of respect not many others deserve.” Her voice was calm but firm, she wouldn’t punish him for mentioning such things, but she won’t allow her own power to be threatened.

“Thank you, your majesty,” Rowan whispered. “Your majesty always was far too kind to me,” She smiled slightly as his courage waned and he reverted to his more comfortable state.

The party all turned as another horse burst from the trees, the soldiers raising their spears in preparation to protect the Queen and guard against William’s release. Rowan and Peter were completely at a loss as to who the newcomer would be but as they pulled up their steed and leapt off they recognised her as Cordelia, and relief flooded in Rowan’s chest. She swept unflinchingly past the soldiers and the nobles to place a hand on Rowan’s cheek and the other press on Peter’s shoulder.

“You’re all right?” She asked breathlessly and he nodded gently. “Get up, you fool,” She directed to Peter, and he sheepishly rose to his feet, keeping his head bowed.

“Forgive my interruption, my lady,” She said, directing her attention to the Queen. “But I was held up in the city.” Marie only nodded in understanding and shrugged softly.

“Of course,” She said. “Who wouldn’t want to witness William’s recapture?”

“Look how powerful you are surrounded by armed guards,” The prisoner spat and grunted as a soldier struck the back of his head.

“You know, maybe this time I really will have your tongue ripped out.” She hissed to him. “Let’s go. I don’t want him to be in the open for any longer. Make sure he’s gagged.” Rowan fought to avoid staring as William’s mouth was wrapped tightly with cloth and he was thrown over the pommel of a saddle, much like how he had been transported when he was imprisoned.

“Here,” She said, tossing a heavy purse to the ground before them. “For your loyalty to the crown.” Rowan’s eyes turned to it and only dragged away from the reward when he felt her moving.

“Wait! Your majesty?”

She hesitated for a moment and allowed her horse to settle before indicating for him to continue.

“Would I be allowed to ask you something?”

She paused for a moment to consider the request as Alexander raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

“If you want more money then you won’t get it.” He said firmly and Rowan turned his head down shamefully.

“Oh, hush, Alex,” Marie sighed, climbing from the saddle to stand before them. It was far more intimidating having her stand at their level. “What is it?” She asked and stepped towards them.

“I-I…”

Rowan swallowed heavily and fell instinctively to his knees, followed by Peter, despite Cordelia’s previous demand. Now that she was close enough that he could smell her perfume he was swept up with the dreadful memories that came with her refined scent.

“I heard an order that William was dead,” He finally choked out. “I thought you were killing him along with…” He hesitated but they both knew what he was referring to. “Wh-why didn’t you kill him?” His voice trembled weakly as he finally spat out his question and he heard Marie’s gentle sigh.

“We intended to punish him,” She admitted. “We wanted to keep him alive until we broke him. But his arrogance is so strong that not even torture managed to blunt his tongue.” She shook her head gently and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Alexander and I’s own arrogance wouldn’t allow him to win by killing him while he still retained some of his dignity. He feigned an injury and while a guard was moving him to another cell he escaped. It is our own fault and I’m sincerely sorry that he managed to find his way back to you.”

Rowan’s breath caught as his head whipped up to look at her, the notion of the Queen apologising to him was so ridiculous that he couldn’t hide his surprise.

“No-no, your majesty, really there isn’t anything for you to apologise for!” He squeaked and watched in bemusement as Marie chuckled softly.

“I hope you are trying to teach him to stop apologising so much,” She said to Peter as she stepped forward and cupped Rowan’s cheek gently, her soft leather glove sliding across his skin.

“I-I’m trying, your majesty,” He replied, flushing at her direct acknowledgement.

“I must admit, when we first came to the castle I was quite cruel to you, I hope you can forgive me, I didn’t understand the part you were playing was for your own survival.” Rowan couldn’t breathe as he felt the Queen’s touch on his skin. “Any creature who could pretend to be so devoted to a monster like William deserves respect.” Part of him craved the superior affection that he hadn’t felt since being released, but still his stomach pooled with dread at the dominating touch.

“Thank you, your majesty,” He breathed nervously and she gently took her hand away.

“I promise on my crown that William will never disturb you again. Alexander and I owe much to your loyalty.” Rowan was still unperturbed by this level of kindness Marie was offering him and barely knew how to answer through grunting softly in reply.

“My lady, would I be permitted to remain here for a few days to ensure Rowan’s peace of mind?” Cordelia asked and Marie nodded.

“Of course. I don’t need your reports until the end of next week, take your time.” She said and turned, climbing gracefully back onto her horse. “I am glad you’ve found a safe place, Rowan. Please let Cordelia know if you need anything in the future and I will make sure it is provided.”

“Oh…that-that’s too kind, your majesty,” Rowan gasped and she shook her head.

“As someone most impacted by William’s cruelty it is justified.” She said and glanced down as Alexander helped steady her horse. “Oh, also,” Rowan looked up timidly as her voice paused and watched her study his face. “Cordelia told me you were close to your bodyguard. I am sorry he didn’t survive.” Rowan looked down sadly and managed to bob his head in agreement.

“Thank you, your majesty, your condolences mean a lot,” He muttered.

“I hope you understand that there was never anything personal Alexander and I held against you, you were purely collateral damage.”

Rowan didn’t have the strength to lift his head as he heard the party turn to go, he didn’t want to risk catching William’s eye as he finally disappeared.

Hopefully this time for good.

#whump #medieval whump #my writing #oc #Rowan #Peter #William #Marie #Cordelia #PTSD whumpee #manhandling #verbal abuse #reference to previous abuse #reference to death

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tunkyra · 3 years

Text

Today, I decided to listen to Distractible for the first time while doing my Microbiology notes. And I didn’t regret one second of it.

I have been watching Markiplier for years on end, and the Three Peens in a Pod was one of the best part of his channel. I think Bob and Wade deserves a shit ton more credits than they are currently receiving, because Mark by himself was entertaining enough, but boy the three of them was powerful enough to send me to Pluto just with the gas I let out as I laugh and fart at the same time.

Honestly, I don’t have a clue why I procrastinated for so long when it comes to listening to Distractible. I’ve always loved to listen to videos while doing other stuffs, so the idea of a podcast is supposed to be as interesting. But something just doesn’t sit right about podcasts to me for some reason. Probably ADHD schticks. But when Mark mentioned a couple times already in his videos that Bob had a rage fit while getting his new refrigerator installed and it was effing beautiful, I knew I had to listen to it sooner or later.

Mark was right. The ‘Bob’s fridge’ episode was a chef kiss kind of perfect. It was as hilarious as the most hilarious thing you’ll ever find on earth. It had drama, conflict, buildup, the climax, the setup…. everything about the episode was world class. I find myself unable to hide my grin throughout the entire episode, I looked like I was plotting a bank heist, but I don’t care. Mark was right, Bob’s rage fit was the most hilarious thing in the world and I live by it every day.

However, that is not my point for this post.

Bob’s fridge episode got me hungry for more, so I listened to another episode called “Supernatural”. Bob went first with his fabricated story titled Seasons Don’t Fear the Reaper, They Fear the Titties and went on how his ‘mother made him obey curfew hours or he would be smothered to death by one hantu tetek’.

Hold up.

Excuse me, what?

Hantu…. tetek?

Am I hearing this right?

FYI, I am born and raised Malaysian. And therefore, I understood exactly what the two words meant. What my brain could not register is that that word was coming from the mouths of three Americans with millions of followers combined and probably did not know my dinky country existed. Am I sure I was listening to Markiplier and his two side chicks? Yah, I sure was.

First thing first, thank you for embracing the not-so-graceful part of the Malaysian culture, one that I have not heard in years. Yes, I validate that that folklore does exist, and I have heard a lot about it. Though, my version was a tiny bit different, as my uncle used to call me the hantu tetek, because as a baby I gave no mercy to my mother when it comes to breastfeeding time. The interpretation is universal, it’s up to you to take from any angle.

So, I’ll tell you what I know about the hantu tetek.

On a typical basis we refer it more as a hantu kopek than a hantu tetek, my guess was because the word tetek is actually a rather vulgar word in Malay. So much so that we prefer to call breasts as buah dada (literally translated as breast fruits lol). Kopek is apparently also used to describe breasts, which is why this term is also used to address this creature. Calling around that t-word is bad enough to be considered as insult and in my personal reference, I also am not comfortable in saying that word a lot. So, for the sake of my sanity, I will address this creature as either hantu kopek or just, it.

Another possible reason of why the name hantu kopek is more familiar is because it was popularised by a locally renowned Hantu Kak Limah universe, which the antagonistic ghost Kak Limah was a hantu kopek herself (or is she? I can’t remember). Majority of my generation (including myself) came to know of this creature thanks to this film series, but the story of it has been lingering in our customs for nobody knows how long. For decades, or maybe centuries, parents had been using this name to scare the children from going back home past dusk, a time where they believed the devilish syaitan starts to roam the horizon.

The practice of scaring the shit out of a child with unnatural stories to coerce them into obedience is common back then, when formal education isn’t a thing. In fact, there is an astronomical amount of ridiculous stories similar to this one, some of which we still follow to this day, for the sake of conserving our beautiful (and terrifying) customs.

Some remarks I would make of Bob’s presentation of the hantu kopek:

Bob : it is a non-fiction.

Me : As much as you freaks wanna believe it exists, it is sadly a fiction. It does not exist, there’s no known encounters with one hantu kopek, even from people who works with supernatural beings for a living. It was made up solely to prevent young men from going back late by dusk.

Bob : it smothers you to death with its humongous bazongas.

Me : Technically yea, but historically accurate hantu kopeks is said to actually kidnap young lads and hid them under their comically schlong honkers.

So that concludes my little knowledge about a crack of the traditional Malay folklore. Anyway, I enjoyed the Distractible podcast so much, and I am sure you will enjoy too. Please check them out and spread the joy!

Distractible is available on everywhere you think you can find podcasts, including Spotify! #notsponsored

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winifredsandersonsbitch · 4 years

Text

Insufferable (Poe Dameron x Reader)

Warnings: none?? Unless you count the fact that I don’t really know much at all about Star Wars oops

Description: The reader’s more than a little high-strung, so Leia pushes them to work more closely with Dameron. He has a way of making things more fun, especially when they get off base.

He’s insufferable.

Not that it bothers you. Much. Or that you’d ever let anyone know how peeved you are to not be the golden child of the Resistance.

Yes, you know this is a group effort and the only real thing that matters is saving lives. But back on your planet, you were important. People looked up to you. You worked your ass off to get into government, became the single youngest person on the council governing your city. They adored you. Here, you’re just another recruit.

If you had a therapist, they might tell you that you were covering for insecurities from your childhood or that you were trying to replace your fear with loathing. You’d probably agree with them. But is it so awful to want a little recognition?

Seeing him strut around the compound like he’s the Maker’s gift to all living creatures, hearing your fellow strategists whisper about “the best pilot in the Resistance.” It grates on you. You wish it didn’t, would give anything to not be this weak and arrogant and dependent on other people’s opinions. But you are, so you settle for avoiding Dameron as much as possible in order to keep yourself from making him victim to any... misplaced frustration.

It works, for awhile. The General is sharp as a tack, though, and she sees how you bristle when his name is mentioned. One day, after a particularly grueling meeting has ended, you almost run into her discussing an upcoming recon flight with the pilot. Just outside the door to the war room. Like she planned it or something.

Your suspicions are confirmed when she smiles at you in the least nonchalant manner you’ve ever seen and asks if you’ve had a chance to speak with him yet.

“(Y/n),” she explains to Dameron, “has only been with us for a few months, but she’s a brilliant strategist. Your upcoming mission may not be your most challenging one ever, but it’s always good to run through plans with someone who has a fresh perspective, yes?”

She’s looking at Dameron, but the question is addressed to both of you. The General doesn’t like friction in her ranks, unless it’s motivational, and this little one-sided rivalry has left you more discouraged than anything else. You swallow and open your mouth to agree, but Dameron beats you to it.

“Believe me, ma’am, I’m more than familiar with her work.”

A muscle in your jaw ticks before you can help yourself. It’s a small movement, but Leia catches it and declares that she will leave the two of you to discuss the details. You hope you haven’t made a terrible impression on her, but right now you’re more concerned with the way that Dameron is looking at you.

You don’t believe him. About your work, that is. He’s being polite. There’s no reason for the tiny spark of—what? Surprise? Satisfaction? It sits in your stomach, small but heavy, until he clears his throat.

“Listen, I don’t mean to inconvenience you or anything. I’m sure you have plenty of important work to be doing and I don’t want to add to the load.” His voice is sincere, but your feathers are a little ruffled anyway. Does he think you wouldn’t be helpful? That you’d be wasting your time?

“No, of course not,” you say stiffly. “You’ve probably had plenty of other people look over your plans. And it’s not, as the General said, the most dangerous mission you’ve ever undertaken.”

“You’ve got that right.” His smile is easy, if a little sheepish. You turn to walk back to your quarters, but what he says next stops you in your tracks. “D’you think... Maybe you would want to get a drink or something? When you’re less busy?”

You rotate back mechanically, blink at him until he blurts out, “I mean, I just feel like I don’t know you very well at all. And if Leia’s right about you, and I think she is, we’ll probably be seeing a lot more of each other. I like to have a good working relationship with my team.”

His team. You force a smile. “Sure. That would be nice.”

If you’re ever going to move up here, you have to play well with others. You can’t refuse Dameron outright, but you don’t have to like him.

You don’t even get to turning around this time when he says, “Well, I’m free after my flight tomorrow. I’m coming back from Tatooine, but I promise I’ll shower before I meet you. If that works for you.”

You can’t keep your eyes from widening. You thought that when he suggested getting together soon, it would be one of those things where neither of you could ever be bothered to find a time that worked and it just eventually faded until the promise was broken by default. But tomorrow is soon indeed. And you don’t even have any work to hide behind. All that has been going on for the past week is recon missions, and Dameron already said he didn’t need your help with that.

After a beat of discomfort, you come back to your senses and stutter out an affirmative. Poe — Dameron — the smile lines around his eyes crinkle.

“Great,” he says. This time, you think he means it. “I’ll see you around six?”

“Great,” you echo.

Your voice sounds off, even to you, but he doesn’t narrow his eyes slightly or cock his head in the way that you’ve come to associate with people who think you’re more than a little strange. He only gives you a jaunty and slightly awkward wave himself as he disappears around the corner.

—

You don’t know what to wear.

It’s not like you have a whole lot of choices, outside your standard-issue uniform, but still. Appearances are important, and you are meeting with the best pilot in the Resistance. For drinks, nonetheless.

Drinks suggest loose, casual fun, right? A blouse is loose. But maybe it’s a little nicer than what you normally see Dameron lounging around the compound in. Your uniform is definitely casual, but if Dameron’s going to the trouble of showering after his mission, it would be rude to turn up in your clothes like you just stepped out of the war room. Maybe you’ll just wear your black shirt and—

And you’re going to be late and that will no doubt make a worse impression than whatever you pull on. You leave your clothes to puddle on the floor as you step out of them, settling on the one white t-shirt you have and some pants made of a breathable fabric that your coworker Madyn picked up in Naboo. It’s not your most creative outfit, but materials here are limited and you doubt that Dameron will care much either way.

You’re on your way to Dameron’s room when he catches you by surprise in the hallway. His hair is slicked back, the muscles in his arms flexing through a semi-tight cotton long sleeve as he runs his right hand over his beard in a gesture you would almost call nervous, if you didn’t know any better. With his left, he’s gripping the neck of a brown-bagged bottle.

“You look nice,” you both blurt. The overlap makes him laugh and you flush. You hope it isn’t a sign of more awkwardness to come.

“Should we get going?” you ask finally. He nods, taking the lead as per usual.

You don’t bother to ask exactly where it is you’re going, although he passes right by the mess hall. You assumed “a drink” meant sitting down and having some of the stuff the pilots brought back from their various missions in an environment you both knew and were comfortable with. You should have expected Dameron to diverge from the norm.

“I thought we’d get you off base tonight, if that’s all right,” he supplies, trying to fill the silence. “You’ve only been here a few months, but all I’ve ever seen you do is work.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

If possible, you stiffen more at this comment. All through your school years, people had poked fun at you for taking work too seriously. You’d thought that ended when you got a council seat, but apparently you were considered uptight even in the Resistance, where matters were literally life-or-death.

Dameron’s voice is purposefully charming, soothing like the balm your mother used to rub over your calluses. “You’re a great analyst. Everyone thinks so. But part of what we’re fighting for here is a sense of normalcy, of the right that people have to enjoy their lives without having to worry about the First Order coming in and claiming them. Don’t you think you deserve the same?”

You’re still considering your answer when he leads you to the ship.

He seems to be a little more at home than you, here in this arena. You don’t have much experience with this type of outing. You don’t know what the protocol is. Dameron’s hitting dials and adjusting knobs that only semi make sense to you, even after your work at the base. Then he turns to you, brushing dark curls out of his eyes.

“Is this okay?”

For some reason, you can’t open your mouth to respond, so you settle for a nod that sets him back at ease. You sit down next to him and busy yourself with watching his hands move. You’ve got a sneaking suspicion that he’s doing more than strictly necessary, playing with the controls to impress you, but it’s working so you stay silent.

“Leia approved this, just so you know,” Dameron says, and you tear your gaze from where his long fingers have been playing on the dash to meet his eyes. Your face is burning.

“Good.” It’s an actual squeak that escapes from your mouth. Maker, it’s embarrassing how much you’ve started caring about the pilot’s opinion in the past few hours.

“Are you all set?”

“Yes.”

“All-righty then,” Dameron says, then immediately winces. “Forget I said that.”

You bite your lip to keep from smiling. Nothing else he’s done has made you feel as comfortable as this. Is it possible that he’s a little nervous too?

Before you can decide, you’re taking off, and the view literally takes your breath away.

You had almost forgotten how it felt to fly, to know that you were alone (or as alone as one could be in the space age) with the universe. You haven’t gotten to see much of anywhere yet and you can only link known coordinates to a name, so whatever Dameron has planned will certainly take you by surprise. You begin narrowing down your options.

He didn’t tell you to dress any sort of way, so you can’t be going anywhere too hot or cold. He brought his own bottle, so you’re likely not going anywhere with an established market. Somewhere isolated, maybe? Dameron strikes you as someone who would enjoy a little rugged wilderness from time to time, despite how much hair gel he uses.

You sneak a peek at him. The dim, perpetual evening light of space bathes his profile in a glow that makes you dig your nails into your palms. It doesn’t seem fair that on top of being smart, funny, charming and the best pilot in the Resistance, he also gets to be drop-dead gorgeous.

“We’re almost there,” he says, mistaking your glance for, what? Impatience?

“I’ve got time,” you assure him. In reality, you have an early meeting tomorrow, but you’ll sacrifice sleep for whatever this turns out to be.

Dameron’s normally goofy, relaxed manner has lapsed. The jokes he cracks are a little tense, like he’s not sure they land. You don’t know what to make of it. Sure, you haven’t been exactly nice to him, but surely you haven’t given him any reason to fear you, either.

When he finally lands (effortlessly–– and you don’t think he’s just showing off), he hops off the plane first and helps you down. You don’t need his assistance. Much. But you accept the hand anyway, because it has been awhile since you’ve flown, and even though it was as smooth as could be, your body is unused to it and your legs are a little shaky. You’re so focused on the warmth of his hand in yours that it takes you a full minute to turn your attention to your surroundings.

You’ve never seen trees like this before. The bark is almost golden, the leaves a firey red. They’re enormous and so thin near the top that they bend and sway with every breeze. Some strange birds you can’t identify drink from small white flowers that bloom in clutches. Poe gently pulls down a branch to pluck one so you can take a closer look. When he offers it to you, your stomach flutters.

“How did you find this place?”

“I do some exploring on my own from time to time. Helps to keep my flying fresh, going through different environments. But wait, I wanted to show you—”

He takes your hand gently and leads you back through the trees. You glance over your shoulder, trying to memorize where you parked, but before too long you come to an outcropping of rock that overlooks a lake as clear as glass and the directions fall away.

Tiny fish swim in the water, darting through the loopy green plants that sway at the bottom. Turtles sun themselves on floating logs. A few creatures you can’t identify crawl in and out of the water as a group, catching fish to feed their pack.

“This is...”

You’re surprised to find yourself tearing up. You’ve never been someplace like this before, where you could exist side-by-side with nature, without having to keep up appearances. You lived in the city before coming to the Resistance, and your parents had warned you of the dangers of going off on your own. But here it was as clear as the water below you that you were safe in your enjoyment.

“I thought you’d like it.”

Poe’s grinning like the cat who got the canary, and it occurs to you for the first time that he likes making the people around you happy. Not to keep up his rep as golden boy, not to get ahead, but just because he has a gift for knowing what others need.

You wrap your arms around him suddenly in an outburst of affection that you didn’t know you had in you. Your fingers brush the longer curls in the back as your arms lock over his neck and you hold for three seconds before you come back to yourself and pull away, flushed. He’s so taken back that he almost drops the bottle.

“Thank you. Really. I know I’m not the warmest person—” Not like him. He’s practically a furnace. “And I appreciate the effort you put in anyway. You didn’t have to.”

His eyebrows crinkle together and his ever-present confidence lapses. “I wanted to. Not just because we’ll be working together.”

For a moment, there’s some emotion that holds the two of you in place, but it almost dissipates when Poe brushes a hand through his hair and says, “So. Do you want to go for a swim?”

Almost.

“I thought we just came for a drink,” you say, but your tone is teasing, as it hasn’t been since you were a child. Poe seems stunned that you didn’t refuse outright. It takes him a minute to turn the charm back on.

“We can always have it after. Although I wouldn’t say no to getting you in the water a little tipsy.”

You can tell by the nervous flicker of his eyes that he’s worried he’s gone too far and you take a breath before responding. You’ve never been on a proper date before, if that’s what this is, and you’re not exactly good with romance in general. But if Poe’s making any sort of overture, you must be doing something right.

“As long as you promise to be my lifeguard-on-duty.”

You don’t know if that’s funny. Jokes don’t come naturally to you. When Poe starts laughing, you ease up, release a giggle yourself.

It feels good to be here with him, letting your laughter echo out without worrying about who’s watching.

He’s forgotten to bring cups, so you take turns drinking from the bottle, sharing stories and favorite memories until you’re steeled enough by the alcohol to make your way down to the lake itself.

It’s dusk, so there’s not enough light for him to see everything as you peel off your shirt and shimmy out of the pants, but he sees enough. You’re rewarded when he does the same and joins you.

You don’t know how long the two of you stay out there, but you join the stars reflected on the water and relax in a way you didn’t know you were capable of.

That’s when you realize that Poe Dameron is exactly as special as they say. And maybe, judging by the way he’s staring at you, he thinks you’re special, too.

#poe dameron #star wars #poe dameron x reader #poe x reader

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awyeahitssam · 4 years

Text

I wrote a “Stiles is transformed into a girl” AU earlier, but it turned out to be just smut. So here’s this - the same universe in snippets.

“Goddamn!” Stiles shouted, kicking the examine table hard enough to leave his miniaturized foot aching.

“Wow, looks like she’s already PMSing.”

While any comment like Isaac’s not-so-quiet mutter was in poor taste, it was especially so considering the news that had caused Stiles’ outburst.

“You and your misplaced judgement can fuck off, because I was just told that I will never be my parents son again.”

“Wow, hate women much, Stilinski?” Jackson sneered.

“Oh, fuck off!” Stiles snapped. “I like and respect women plenty. That doesn’t mean I’m cool with suddenly turning into one.”

“‘Like’ and ‘respect,’” Erica mimicked. “That sounded a little sexist, Batman.”

Stiles stared at her, openly disbelieving. He glanced around, but nobody seemed like they were about to step in and rebut that particular sentiment. So he took a deep, settling breath and did what he did best, because, as always, nobody else was going to.

“How would you feel if you traded in your breasts and vagina for a dick?”

Erica blinked, taken aback. After a beat she opened her mouth, but Stiles continued before she could respond.

“Sure, maybe it’d be cool at first, but after a few hours or days that novelty would wear off, and you’d want your own body back. Y’know, the body you’ve lived in for eighteen years, and grown a little fond of.”

Erica was flushed, but that could’ve been caused by anything from remorse to indignation at being chided in front of the entire pack. It wasn’t like he could smell her emotions; if she wanted him to stop, she would have to use her words. Anyway, it had been a long couple of days and he needed to vent a little.

“Calling me sexist, of all things, because I want to have the body I was born in back is ignorant and just plain stupid. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find somebody with an explanation beyond ‘it’s irreversible’.”

Stiles snatched the taser from his purse and waved it threateningly. “Back the fuck off, dude. You’ve never been interested in me before, so I’m going to go ahead and assume this is more of a ‘I’d like to get my dick wet’ scenario than a ‘wow, Stiles, you have such a great personality, let’s date!’ sorta thing. Not that I’d be interested in the latter, but still.”

If anything, Isaac looked more amused. He stepped forward, and Stiles fought the instinct to pull back. He was smaller than he should’ve been; he’d never been shorter than Isaac before. Still, Stiles had stood up to bullies that were bigger and stronger than him all his life. This wasn’t the same, but it wasn’t so different, either.

Though the fact that Stiles now had to worry about his so-called packmate ignoring what he said and trying to get into his pants regardless pissed him off immeasurably.

“It’s just sex, Stilinski. What, are you still a virgin or something?”

Like Isaac hadn’t been a virgin himself before Derek bit him.

What a douche.

“Seriously dude, fuck off.”

Isaac’s face twisted into something bemused, like he couldn’t understand the word no. Which, seriously? Stiles had always thought Isaac was an asshole who believed he could get away with anything if he pulled out his traumatic childhood membership card, but this was a little extreme.

“Are you seriously turning down a chance to test out your new parts? What kind of guy are you?”

“I’m starting to wonder what kind of guy you are, Lahey. No means no. I’m not having sex with you, so drop it and move out of my goddamn way.”

For a moment Isaac went unnaturally still. Predator still. Stiles tensed, preparing to use both the taser and aerosolized wolfsbane Allison had given him. If he took even one step closer, Stiles wouldn’t hesitate.

Perhaps he smelled the violence rising in the air, or maybe Isaac had just decided to take no for an answer. Either way the werewolf gave Stiles a lingering glance, turned on his heel, and slunk back into the preserve, presumably off to practice his wolfy abilities with the others.

“My, my, you really do enjoy facing down predators, Stiles.”

Stiles turned, unsurprised to find Peter leaning against one of the house support beams. He frowned.

“Yeah, apparently a bunny predator and a sexual predator. Thanks for stepping in, there, zombiewolf.”

Peter shrugged. “You had it handled.”

Stiles sighed, rolling his shoulders and stuffing the taser back in his bag. “I can deal with Lahey if I have to. And apparently having boobs means I’ll have to.”

Peter met his eyes when Stiles looked up from scowling at his breasts. The man seemed faintly amused, but there was something beyond that.

It seemed the hungry gleam in Peter’s eyes remained whether Stiles was male or female. At least one person didn’t change the way they looked at him, but in his current state the gaze made him feel vaguely vulnerable. And god damn, did he hate that.

Stiles had long since been aware of his comparative weakness to the wolves he ran with, but knowing and seeing were different things. He was several inches shorter and about twenty pounds lighter than he had been, his coordination thrown even more out of wack by his newly proportioned limbs. His reach was less than it had been, his gait wasn’t right, and when he tested swinging his baseball bat his breasts did some uncomfortable swinging as well. Apparently, he needed a bra.

Lydia takes him shopping first thing Friday, because of course she does. Stiles only allows it because it seems he’s going to be in this body a while, until he can prove Deaton wrong, so he might as well buy some pants he doesn’t have to hold up by a belt without enough notches.

“That skirt is just, like, deliberately short!”

He ends up with three pairs of jeans, a pair of sweats, some cargo shorts (because apparently those are the only kind that don’t stop mid-thigh), a couple of hoodies, and four tank tops.

He considers throwing his favorite red lacrosse sweatshirt over it like he normally does, but it’s been getting hotter and he’s seen plenty of women jog in sports bras. At this point, it’s whatever. Stiles just needs to get some of this energy out before he shakes to death or something.

So naturally when he’s taking a break to catch his breath on mile three, Peter materializes at his side, nursing a cup of coffee with a book tucked under his arm.

And he raises a brow, as if to comment on Stiles’ poor endurance, because of course he does. Dick.

“Are you really coming to the woods to read?” he asks, slowly straightening out. His side is still cramping, but he doesn’t want to be in the perfect position for Peter to peer into his bra, even if the man had yet to look away from his face.

“Yes, I enjoy my coffee exclusively with woodland creatures,” Peter sasses back. Stiles smiles, just a bit, because for the first time in days somebody is treating him normally. Even if it is Peter, and his brand of normal is often a bit creepy. “What are you doing in the woods, Stiles? The big bad wolf might find you.”

It wasn’t a new joke, but--”I’m not Little Red.”

“No,” Peter sighs dramatically, “You’ve done away with your hoodie. I suppose I’ll have to find another young man to coax away from grandmother’s house.”

Man. Young man.

Stiles lets out a breath he wasn’t aware of holding and walks forward, shoving at Peter’s arm. It doesn’t budge, holding the coffee stead, and Peter looks surprised at the casual touch. “Replacing me so easily? Thank god.”

Clever lips curl. “I could never,” the werewolf replies, before waving him on. “Enjoy your run, Stiles.”

Stiles grins back, quick but genuine. “Enjoy your book, dude. Later!”

And he’s off.

Stiles looks down at the sundress laid across his bed and feels the air stutter from his lungs. This dress had been reserved for the long summer days of his childhood, before sickness had taken his mother. He remembers balancing on her feet as she spun them around the living room, both singing at the top of their lungs. He remembers her kissing the shirt over his heart and telling him that he was her favorite person in the world. He remembers trying to swing higher than her and failing in the nearby park, and how she had always laughed at his pout and said, “It isn’t a competition if I don’t try, Mischief!”

Stiles had forgotten he had stashed it in the back of his closet when his father had been gathering all Claudia’s things to donate or store in the attic.

“Stiles?” Scott called, knocking on the door. “Dude, you alright in there?”

“I—” Stiles took a deep breath, tearing his eyes from the dress and going to his closet. “Yeah, I’m… I’m good. Just give me a few minutes to change.”

“There’s sex reassignment surgery,” Lydia mentions one day, five weeks in. Stiles is in the middle of reading over the translated Latin she’d just handed him, and only makes a vague sound of comprehension.

“Stiles!”

“What?” Stiles snaps, glaring up at her. He blinks a few times, processing what she’d said, and shakes his head. “No, Lydia, I - I want my body. Besides, that's not something I could ever afford, not with the debt we’re in.”

“I have money, Stiles,” she says nonchalantly, and it’s probably unreasonable, how that makes him want to break things.

He takes a deep breath and looks her in the eyes. “I’m getting my body back, Lydia, and I’m not taking your money.”

“Stiles, you need to stop. I hate to say this, but you need to hear it, okay? You’re never going to be a guy again. Deaton said as much, and it was okay at first, you trying to prove him wrong, but this is getting out of control. You’re skipping classes, talking to Peter, and playing around with some seriously dangerous stuff. Stuff Allison’s dad would probably put a bullet through you for! Stiles, you’re going to be in a girl’s body for the rest of your life. I just don’t want you making all these shitty choices to go along with this shitty thing that happened to you. I care about you, man… you’re like my - my sister. So please stop. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Your sister?” Stiles snarled. “I’m not a fucking girl, Scott, female body or not. My mind is still male--”

Sorry to leave off there, but it’s all I’ve got. Stiles definitely shuts Scott down with his rant, though.

#peter/stiles #In that it's a part of the same universe I wrote smut for earlier #Let me tell you #writing 7 pages of smut is not my style #this is my style #snippets I'll never post on AO3 because I'll never finish them #female!Stiles #but not at all actually #ever heard of body dysmorphia #that shit blows

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literaryeagle · 4 years

Text

Time for a new book review! This is Spider-Man: The Venom Factor Omnibus, which came out last month from Titan Books. It's a nice long paperback (642 pages), collecting a trilogy of Spider-Man novels written by Diane Duane that were originally published in the 1990s. Here are my quick descriptions of the three books in this collection...

The Venom Factor (1994): Someone murders an innocent person, and Venom is blamed for this horrible crime! Who is the real killer, and what's up with Hobgoblin stealing nuclear material? Spider-Man and Venom reluctantly work together to save the day!

The Lizard Sanction (1995): A shady organization is still smuggling nuclear material, and now the Lizard is making mysterious appearances! What's going on? Spider-Man and Venom reluctantly work together to save the day!

The Octopus Agenda (1996): Doctor Octopus has nukes, and he intends to take over the world! So naturally... say it with me, folks... Spider-Man and Venom reluctantly work together to save the day!

This omnibus does not contain any illustrations except for the cover art shown at the beginning of this review, so the original covers of the three novels are not included. But other than that, it's a great way to read this trilogy if you missed out on the original publications. In terms of continuity, the stories use information from the comics to a certain extent, but not everything is the same. For example, remember in the comics when Spider-Man faked his death, and then Eddie and the symbiote happily lived together on an island paradise for a while? According to the first novel, Eddie and the symbiote eventually left the island on their own, instead of Spider-Man seeking their help to fight Carnage. So I would consider this trilogy to be an alternate universe tale of some sort (especially where the Venom symbiote is concerned... more on that later), however Venom is still a defender of homeless people in San Francisco, like in "Lethal Protector".

For the rest of this review, I’ll use the same “The Good, the Bad, and the Symbrock” format that I did in some of my previous posts. In other words, I’m going to summarize what I liked, what I didn’t like, and also some points of interest for Symbrock fans. Keep reading for the complete review!

The Good:

-When a homeless person was murdered and Venom was blamed, Peter Parker said that didn't sound like Venom at all. Someone else working at the Daily Bugle, Ben Urich, also expressed his doubts that Venom was the killer. Wow, people actually being sensible!

-If you like it when Spider-Man makes a lot of quips, well there was plenty of that in this trilogy. There were some other funny jokes as well.

-The symbiote's tongue waving was described with the amusing term wuggawuggawugga.

-Eddie had a brief conversation about Greek mythology with a classicist named Alma. Literary references, yay! In fact, Eddie's dialogue in this trilogy was pretty good overall. A nice balance of clever and silly.

-Mary Jane had a dream about Cookie Monster meeting Venom!

The Bad:

-If you're primarily looking for Venom content, keep in mind that these were Spider-Man novels, so Venom was not the main character of this trilogy. But if you love Spider-Man too, this won't be a problem for you.

-Remember how it was revealed in the comics story "Planet of the Symbiotes" that the Venom symbiote had been imprisoned by its peers, because it had wanted to bond with a host rather than forcefully dominate one? Unfortunately, the first book in the Venom Factor trilogy was published before "Planet of the Symbiotes", so that information was not used here. That's not the author's fault, of course, however if you're a fan of how the symbiote was portrayed in "Planet of the Symbiotes" (a lonely being who longed for an equal partnership), you might be disappointed with what this trilogy did instead.

-So what did this trilogy do instead? Well, the symbiote was still a living creature, however it had apparently been made especially for Spider-Man. But after Spider-Man rejected the symbiote's desire to make their bond permanent, the enraged symbiote began to thirst for Spider-Man's blood, and until it can feast on him, it has to settle for eating others! So Eddie redirected the symbiote towards eating people who "deserved" it... in other words, criminals. Sounds a bit like the 2018 movie version of the symbiote (Maybe someone who worked on the movie had read this trilogy?), except the symbiote in these books could not communicate with words. Oh, and this trilogy began before Len Kaminski's comics story "The Hunger" was published, so the possibility of using chocolate as a substitute for eating people did not come up. Again, that's not the author's fault. I'm just explaining why chocolate was not mentioned as a solution.

-In The Octopus Agenda, someone used the R slur at one point.

The Symbrock:

-In The Venom Factor: Oh dear, where to begin? In this book, the symbiote was described as a living creature that had sentience, but no personality. It was compared to the Tin Man wishing for a heart. According to Eddie's thoughts on the matter, "sentience without personality was not enough to be company", but "their relationship was better than being alone". Ouch. So their relationship seems to be a bit tragic; a love that can never be. (However, if it makes you feel any better, I think it's possible to imagine that Eddie was mistaken about the symbiote lacking a personality, but the symbiote couldn't figure out exactly how to communicate that yet... or was too afraid to communicate that. So there's hope that maybe these two pining dorks eventually got that all sorted out. Hey, sounds like a great idea for a fan fic!)

-In The Lizard Sanction: Eddie appreciated the "constant sense of wordless companionship" that the symbiote provided.

-In The Lizard Sanction: When preparing to fight some criminals, Eddie took care to note the weapons his targets were carrying even though the symbiote could not be killed by bullets, because "he didn't care to put it in harm's way any more than he had to; that was no way to treat a friend." Awww, how sweet!

-In The Octopus Agenda: It was briefly mentioned that the symbiote massaged Eddie's tired muscles. ;)

Overall, Spider-Man: The Venom Factor Omnibus is a nice book you're a huge fan of Spider-Man and want to read more adventures about him, and there are some entertaining jokes. If you're more of a Venom fan, keep in mind that Venom is not the main focus here, although it sure is great to read 1990s Eddie again... fun dialogue! Unfortunately, this trilogy's take on the symbiote and Symbrock is not as good, but not the worst I've seen either. Besides, this trilogy began before "Planet of the Symbiotes" and "The Hunger" had been published, so it's not fair to judge the author too harshly for that. (Oh, and for a better take on symbiotes and Symbrock, I highly recommend the Lethal Protector novel by James R. Tuck, which I discussed in an earlier review.)

Well, that’s it for this review. If you have any questions about this book, feel free to ask. Take care, and stay safe!

#Venom #Spider Man #Symbrock #Veddie #book review

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myevilmouse · 4 years

Note

Hello dear friend! I was wondering if you might be able to tell me what were George Lucas’s plans for Luke’s future after RotJ? We’ve now seen what the EU had in store and what Disney has done, but I was wondering what did Luke’s creator himself want to happen? I’ve tried looking it up, but there’s not much info I can find. Maybe you can enlighten me? Thank you ever so much! Your account brings me so much joy every single day💗 Take care and may the force be with you!

Hello dear anon! Thank you for your very sweet note--it brings me joy to know that people find joy in my devotion 💗 💗 💗

There are a few separate places where I have heard things about George's intentions for Luke post-ROTJ, so I will info dump a little. I've read the Rinzler books and watched so many "Making Of" things that I may not be able to name all my sources, BUT here's what I consider the most important one and I promise I didn't make it up: I read somewhere that Lawrence Kasdan (scriptwriter) wanted to kill someone in ROTJ, and the director was on board. Kasdan wanted it to be Han Solo, and Lucas veto'd it, and so they were pushing for Lando to die nobly or something instead. Marquand and Kasdan thought if one of the main heroes bit the dust, it would give a more high stakes and epic aspect to the films. And Lucas was adamantly against it, and said something along the lines of "these characters have earned their happy ending" and forbade them to kill any of the good guys in ROTJ. Thank god.

The next clue we have of Lucas protecting Luke's happy ever after was when Del Rey was wanting to kill off a major character to sell their latest installment in the New Jedi Order book series, Vector Prime (1999). They asked Lucas (who still had creative control at that point) if they could kill Luke. His response was to provide a list of characters they could not kill. Of course our Jedi was on that list. As he had said before, the trio deserved their happy ending. Sadly, Chewie wasn't on that list, and once again our medal-deprived Wookiee was given the short end (and in this case, lethal) end of the stick. So they killed him in that book, much to the anger of fans all over. *kicks EU for the injustice* Apparently Lucas was OK with Chewbacca's demise, when the story editors double-checked to be super sure, as long as he went out "heroically," which he did, saving Han & Leia's youngest child by sacrificing himself.

It should be noted that when George Lucas sold the rights to Lucasfilm to Disney, apparently he also threw in outlines for his envisioned sequel trilogy. I have read somewhere that he was (unsurprisingly) very disappointed to find that Disney was basically throwing all his ideas out, and none were incorporated in TFA. A shame, but it does seem that Lucas' plans for a sequel trilogy were going to be much more cerebral and meta than what most people would have expected. While I would have been super happy with an Heir to the Empire film, Lucas has spoken about his dream for the sequels in this excerpt from James Cameron's Story of Science Fiction:

“[The next three Star Wars films] were going to get into a microbiotic world. But there’s this world of creatures that operate differently than we do. I call them the Whills. And the Whills are the ones who actually control the universe. They feed off the Force… If I’d held onto the company I could have done it, and then it would have been done. Of course, a lot of the fans would have hated it, just like they did Phantom Menace and everything, but at least the whole story from beginning to end would be told.”

This makes sense, if you go look at the earliest drafts of Star Wars--the Journal of the Whills. Lucas even had midichlorians in the back of his brain, since the beginning. I can't imagine what those films would have looked like, but we can be confident Luke wouldn't have been given a character assassination ;)No one had so much love and life invested into Star Wars as George Lucas, so when TFA came out and he was reportedly disappointed (per Bob Iger's memoir), that wasn't unexpected. Still lots of people felt his absence at the world premiere of TROS was a deliberate refutation of Disney's "canon", and I don't blame him one bit, not after TLJ, how could he trust them with Luke, his noble heroic creation and personal avatar?

(probably what Mark’s face looked like after reading TLJ-script)^^

Mark Hamill has spoken in interviews about what he thinks Lucas wanted for Luke--notably training Leia in the sequel to ROTJ as a Jedi, that is one point, which would fit in just fine with the EU, the microbiotics, and Legends. He also said Lucas wanted to kill Luke in the final film (Episode 9). Not sure that is true, given the other evidence to the contrary, but it seems to me that if Lucas did want to "end" Luke's story with a death, he only trusted himself to do it correctly, otherwise he would have let Del Rey knock him off in the Legends-verse.

(Mark and George discuss how Luke is never gonna give any Jedi up, never gonna let them down, never gonna run around and desert his friends!)

TL;DR George Lucas wanted Luke to live happily ever after!!!

And May the Force Be With You too, Anon, always.

#asks #i like asks #luke skywalker #he's the fucking hero #george lucas #my thoughts #sequel trilogy #original trilogy

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desert-dyke · 4 years

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the things I’ve read in 2020 and some thoughts...

hey blacklist this now because it’s gonna get long from here. I spent NYE home alone and reading and it has really set the tone for this year. Fortunately, I’ve been reading way more for the first time in...I literally don’t even know? Maybe forever? Which is really dope! Books are fucking fantastic and I hope this trend continues for the rest of the year. So I’m gonna use this post (and continue to add to it as I finish books) to talk about the things I’ve read. It could be annoying. I could give up on it really soon. People might not read this at all. It’s okay! It’s my blog I’ll use it how I want and I want to talk about books I otherwise don’t really have a place to talk about them.

The Shape of Water - Guillermo Del Toro & Daniel Kraus

If you know me irl you’ll know that I love this movie. Like, it’s probably my favorite movie as an adult. I love watching a movie and then going back and reading the book to compare and vice versa, but knowing that the book came out after the movie did discourage me at first, making me think it was nothing more than a cash grab. Though I was talking to (my boss) who also loves this movie and is a huge bibliophile and she highly recommended the book, so I figured I’d give it a stab.

The writing style is beautiful and enticing and overall I was impressed with the quality of it. It’s fast paced and switches perspective between characters frequently, though remains easy to follow. The book focuses a little less on Elisa and more on the other characters and stories around her, including, surprisingly, Elaine Strickland, who despite never wondering much about during the movie, I enjoyed being included in the book. There’s a deeper exploration into pretty much everyone’s backstories, and more prominent character development. It’s excellent as a standalone piece, and supplementary to readers who have seen the movie. There’s also some alternative takes on certain scenes, which I don’t necessarily like better or worse than the choices made in the movie, but it makes for an interesting read.

The book explores themes of alienation and being othered, with a main cast that breaks the stereotype of straight white fully-abled male. Elisa is a mute woman, Zelda, a black woman, and Giles a gay man. With the political climate of the 1950′s, all of them are outsiders and all of them find solidarity in each other, despite their unique struggles, and also with the creature.

The only thing I didn’t quite like was the portrayal of the creature. I think greater efforts were put into making him more godlike and otherworldly, but also, simultaneously, he comes off as much more like a wild animal in the book, and the latter came off as strange to me, and not in the way I like it. Overall, even if the movie didn’t exist and I only read this, I’d still think it was a really good story.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate - Becky Chambers

If I depended on the synopsis on the back of the book to decide whether or not I wanted to read this, I don’t know if I would have bothered. To be honest, I only wanted to read this because Becky Chambers is my current favorite author and all other of her works I’ve read I’ve absolutely adored, so naturally, I wanted to give this one a chance, even if the concept wasn’t as riveting as I would have hoped.

She didn’t disappoint.

Whereas her other books take place in a vast space civilization where humanity is integrated with aliens and there’s technology beyond our dreams, this book took place in a different creative universe, a little more closer to our timeline. The book is about space exploration for the sake of learning and taking care to be as least intrusive on the explored worlds as possible. It’s a nice break from what I usually see in sci fi, with colonization and owning space and wanting to use knowledge in order to hurt others. It follows a research crew of four, sent to research four planets in a far solar system. There’s a lag in travel time, since FTL travel had not been discovered yet, so a common device is communication with Earth is off by years. Eventually, the crew realizes they have lost contact with Earth and Earth had likely suffered some sort of devastation. It wonders if Earth has forgotten them or if it’s even worth it to return since they might be the last astronauts of their time.

The worlds they visit and research are unique and vivid and fill me with wonder. They’re realistic to the point where I found myself questioning if the book was prophetic. Chambers makes effort to incorporate science into her novels, but in a way that does not estrange a reader like me who only has a basic knowledge in science. It’s one of the things I find most attractive about her work, because it has this added realism and this feeling of “wow, this really could happen” and yet remains easy to follow.

I found the crew to be likeable and diverse. Three of them are in a relationship with each other, and while polyamory isn’t usually an interest of mine, it’s in the background as well as it’s never used as a point to cause drama. It’s a healthy functional relationship. Also, one of the crew is a trans man and another is asexual, both details that exist within a single line, but yet important to be included to flesh out the characters.

What I didn’t like was the almost rush to the end of the book. It’s a short book, roughly 100 pages, but it seems to me as if it reaches it’s climax and then the book just ends and it kind of feels like it’s still in the middle of things. I’ve had time to think about it, though, and I’ve considered that maybe anything else written would have been redundant or just filler and therefore not needed. So in that case, that’s fair. It still felt a little abrupt to me, but that’s what fic is for.

Overall, if you haven’t read anything by Becky Chambers you need to change that immediately. Please don’t leave me alone and fanning over this incredible author!!

All Systems Red - Martha Wells

This was another short one, and in fact, I read it entirely in one sitting. The concept of the book was really intriguing, and actually I selected it because I liked the opening line so much. I have a lot of feelings about AI and robots, so this was a naturally alluring story to me. Mixed with the fact that the beefed out security robot, who calls themselves “Murderbot”, was absolutely obsessed with soap opera tv just absolutely gets me!

The story is told through Murderbot’s perspective, who is assigned to guard a research team. They had recently hacked their government module, which now allows them full autonomy and no longer having to obey orders from their assigned humans. It’s interesting to see Murderbot actively choose to help the humans. Also, needing to maintain an illusion that they aren’t unshackled, since what they did was forbidden.

The research team is full of interesting characters, who I find tragically under explored. The only couple in the story is wlw, which I vastly appreciated, along with they obviously cared and loved each other and their relationship was not used for drama purposes. In favor of the lack of development with the cast of characters, since the narrator is Murderbot and part of Murderbot’s personality is they are actively trying not to care about these humans, it does make sense. Still, I would have loved to see more of the crew and more development between Murderbot and them.

I like the dark lore that is hinted behind Murderbot’s existence. There’s organic counterparts to their machine made from cloned humans. It’s creepy and morbid, but a lot is with the lore of the universe that the story takes place in. There’s hints towards a heavy capitalist society in space where the humans and Murderbot came from, where the right price will get you anything, regardless of morals. The overall tone of the story is very quirky, but it needs to be to offset just how dark everything that happens actually is. The book explores the concept of corporate greed, from the existence of Murderbot to the deaths that come to humans on the planet the crew is studying.

This book was deeply fascinating, but I didn’t love the way it was written. I love every concept and choice made, but I didn’t love the execution. It left me wanting without satisfaction. It’s not a bad book and I still over all enjoyed it. It is part of a series, which I did not realize at the time of reading it, but the ending leaves room for more to be written, so maybe in the following books there will be the development I desired. However, the ending of the book leaves it apparent that Murderbot will not be interacting with the same characters of the first, but that is just an assumption and I could be wrong. I’m not sure yet if I will read more in the series but I’m not entirely opposed to it.

All the Birds in the Sky - Charlie Jane Anders

This is another one that I definitely would not have read if I had to choose based on the synopsis alone. The synopsis made it sound so run-of-the-mill star-crossed-lovers, which, hey, maybe that actually helps sell the book because its a pretty well loved trope, but for me it was off-putting, as well as isn’t fair to what the book actually turned out to be. But that’s what reviews are for, and I found this book from some sort of list, I think it was best sci-fi books written by women.

The general idea of the book is a witch and a techie fall in love while the world is falling apart due to a conflict between magic and technology. The book is lauded for bending genre and honestly, it fucking has. It’s as equally a sci-fi novel as it is a fantasy novel. There’s advanced technology, such as robots, two second time machines, rocket ships, and ultimately, a portal leading to a different universe in hopes of escaping the destruction of earth. On the magic side, there’s a connection to nature, rules that have to be abided, quirky witches and magicians and mystique. Both Laurence and Patricia are outsiders that have seemingly found these secret niches in the world that becomes their own.

Both plots are interesting in their own, and could possibly exist as two separate books, but what ties the entire story together is the connection Laurence and Patricia have, and their ultimate romance.

The romance is a wonderful slow burn, from childhood friends, to adult friends to lovers. By the time Patricia and Laurence finally get together, you really fucking want them to. They weave in and out of each other’s lives throughout their own personal plots. There’s tensions and there’s release. And most importantly, they have lives outside of each other. Their romance compliments the story, rather than the story being entirely about romance.

Similar to the former review, there’s a lot of quirkiness in the story, that ultimately offsets how dark the story can be. The story doesn’t shy away from complicated relationships with parents and siblings and friends and other people, people of mixed ages and backgrounds. It explores abuse, bullying, natural disaster and loss. The story would have been miserable and a drag to read without the whimsical qualities of it. Plus it’s a fantasy/sci-fi, so it should have some quirkiness to it! And it made for a very enjoyable read!

My criticism for this one is, yet again, the ending. The conflict resolves and the story comes to an end. In favor of how it was written, the way things resolve, I believe the world is about to go through a grand change. While the story is quirky, I think it would have been too corny to have had a glittery magical wave drag across the land, altering the world as it went. So, it’s fair, I guess, that the author chose to end it where she did. Still, it left me craving more. Maybe because the story was so good and I wasn’t yet ready to let it go.

Also, as a side note, the author is a trans woman. So if you’re looking for books written by trans authors to support, put this at the top of your list.

#book review 2020 #the shape of water #to be taught if fortunate #All systems red #all the birds in the sky #idk how to write about books and these are only partial reviews/reccomendations so sorry if it sucks #also I plan on adding to this post so better blacklist it now #feel free to recommend things

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