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thefreakandthehair · 5 months

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(don't bother) calling me when you're sober | rating: m | wc: 1.5k

content warnings: future fic, parental alcoholism ("falling off the wagon"), past parental neglect, minor character death (i've committed wayne crimes i'm so sorry but it's not shown, just mentioned), emotional hurt/comfort, ends on a happy, hopeful note despite the tags

“My dad called.”

Eddie walks into the room, pinched eyebrows and flared nostrils lit up by the multicolored Christmas lights they string on the tree every year, one hand balled into a fist. The reaction wouldn’t surprise Steve so much if this happened years ago, when Al Munson was still living in the bottom of a bottle of Jack, but now?

It’s been eighteen years since he’d gotten sober, nineteen years since his last stint at Hawkins County, and fifteen years since making a genuine attempt to right the wrongs of Eddie’s childhood and build a relationship with his son.

Fifteen years after Eddie let him in, let him try, let him earn Eddie’s trust.

Fifteen years is a long time and to see Eddie so vitriolic in the doorway of their apartment’s living room— hands shaking, body shaking— Steve knows something must’ve gone wrong.

“What happened?” Steve asks, standing from the couch and meeting Eddie where he stands, holding the hand not curled tightly around itself.

“He’s drunk. He called, and he was drunk.”

Steve’s chest pulls tight, his heart racing. What does someone say to that? What can someone say to assuage that kind of deep anger, pain, and betrayal? His thoughts are scattered as they try to make sense of what Eddie just said, and he’s even more grateful now that Ronnie wanted a sleepover with Aunt Robin tonight.

“Eddie, fuck. I’m so— ” Before he can finish his thought, Eddie leans back against the doorframe, ripping his hand out of Steve’s and tangling his fingers in his hair, tugging.

“How could he? How fucking could he?!” Eddie bellows, eyes squeezed shut. “He knew! He knew that if he ever did this again, I’d be done. For good. For forever. And he did it anyways! After eighteen fucking years!”

His eyes fly open and Steve stands still and nods him on. There are just no words to fix this, and trying for the sake of filling the silence has never served him well.

“He did it anyway! Two days before fucking Christmas, a week before the anniversary of—” He chokes and cuts himself off.

He knows what Eddie was going to say. A week before the anniversary of Wayne’s death. It’s been on his mind, too, of course. On his mind and in their conversations over breakfast with eccentric mugs of coffee, over the tangled lights that Wayne could always figure out. The year hasn’t been the kindest to them, particularly Eddie, and Steve wants to protect Eddie as much as he can from whatever he can.

But he can’t shield him from this. Al Munson skips to the top of his shitlist.

“That son of a bitch!” Eddie rams his fist sideways against the door jam, leaving a sharp, red mark along his pinky. “He promised, and I believed him. Why the fuck did I believe him, Steve?”

Steve takes a step closer and grabs both of Eddie’s hands, carefully soothing the angry mark. “It’s been almost twenty years, babe. Trusting him with so much time invested makes sense. Hell, I did, too.”

“I’m— I’m in my 30s, hurt and angry about the same shit I was hurt and angry about as a fucking kid. All the nights I slept in the backseat of the car because he blew his money at the bar, all the car accidents and court appearances and jail time, all the mornings I missed school because he didn’t know what fucking day it was,” Eddie rants, stopping to take a breath before picking back up, Steve’s own heart cracking and raging the more he speaks.

“And every time he’d get sober, he’d always promise. He’d promise it would be the last time, and it never was. Not once could he choose his fucking son and I didn’t understand it then, but now that we have Ronnie, I understand it even less. If I was sick enough to walk away from her, I’d walk my happy ass to the nearest fucking rehab. I get that it’s a disease, I get it, I get it, I get it. But I can’t— I can’t do it again. Not this time. Eighteen years just down the fucking drain because of his company’s holiday party? How can I ever believe him again? Or trust him again?”

Eddie’s voice grows raspier, breath shallow and quick, eyes watery. “Every time this happened when I was a kid, I always had Wayne. He’s the only person who really got it, y’know? The only one who lived it with me and now, I don’t even have him. My dad’s drunk, slurring his way through who fucking knows what on the phone, and no one else can fully understand the magnitude of what that feels like for me.”

He squeezes his eyes shut again and drops forward toward Steve, forehead on his shoulder and arms loosely hung around Steve’s waist. Steve still doesn’t have words that bandage this up, but he knows how to show his husband love in other ways. Ways that, over the years, have become a language all their own. Steve pulls him in tight, one hand near his waist, the other cradling the back of his head. Fingers slide carefully beneath the hem of Eddie’s tee-shirt and rub little, repetitive circles into the small of Eddie’s back while he cards his other hand through Eddie’s hair, scratching his scalp and holding him to his chest to feel the rhythm of Steve’s own heartbeat until his breath returns to a steady pace.

It’s only then that Steve speaks.

“I don’t know what to say, Ed. It’s fucked up, and if you want to me like, hit him with my car, you know I’m game.” Steve feels Eddie laugh— just a few puffs of air through his nose but it’s a laugh all the same. “But I’m here, and we’re gonna figure it out, okay? Whatever you decide to do, we’ll do it together.”

Eddie nods and lets himself be led to the couch, Steve tucking Eddie into his side and pulling the afghan up over them.

“I never want to be what Al was to me to our daughter,” Eddie whispers, not looking away from the tree.

“Well, you’re ahead of the game, because she’s already older than you were when he started hitting the bottle hard. And I know there’s the genetic piece to it that everyone talks about, but nurture counts for a lot of who we become, too. Shit, I owe Joyce Byers a huge thank you for being more of a parent to me than my own were because she’s probably the reason I didn’t turn out like Dick Harrington. Ronnie’s never going to have an Al Munson in her life, because you weren’t raised by Al Munson. That’s not whose legacy you’re passing down. You’re passing down love, not pain.” Steve presses a soft kiss to Eddie’s temple and feels his whole body sag into him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Eddie’s voice is quiet now, a far cry from his earlier venomous edge.

Silence nestles onto the couch with them, a comfortable addition, as they watch the basketball game Steve had on before Eddie told him about the phone call. Watch is a loose description, actually. They're more just looking at a moving, flashing screen.

“My hand really hurts, by the way,” Eddie announces, holding up the hand he’d used to punch the doorjam. “That was fucking dumb.”

“Maybe a little bit, but I get it,” Steve untucks a hand from beneath the blanket and outstretches his palm. “Lemme see?”

Eddie plops his hand into Steve’s and Steve takes a look, mentally working down the check list he’s memorized from his decade plus of EMT work. No obvious breaks, nothing looks crooked, Eddie’s able to move each finger and flex his hand without severe pain.

“If anything, it’s just gonna be bruised tomorrow. But I’ll fix it,” Steve grins and lifts Eddie’s fist to his lips, carefully kissing each knuckle and paying a little extra attention to the pinky that delivered most of the blow.

“I’m so in love with you, Steve.” Eddie rests his temple on Steve’s shoulder. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” Steve agrees, chest fluttering despite the circumstances. “And I’m in love with you, too. You know that, right?”

Eddie snuggles in and wraps Steve up, full koala, as though he’s trying to get as close as possible without actually cracking Steve open and climbing inside of him.

“Definitely.”

The next morning, Aunt Robin brings Ronnie home and together, they decorate the gingerbread cookies that only vaguely look like people but are good enough to pass for a seven year old. Halfway through, Eddie’s cell phone rings and the caller I.D. reads Al. Steve watches, worried that Eddie’s going to answer in the middle of their decorating. That he’ll forget Ronnie’s having the time of her life, and that in his righteous indignation, Eddie will leave the table to go fight and argue.

There’s so much to be said, and Steve wouldn’t blame him, but he breathes a sigh of relief when Eddie simply declines the call and sets about pouring more edible glitter onto his design with a smile down at their daughter.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #myblurbs #(whispers): yeah so my mom fell off the wagon after 18 years at her fucking work party and this is basically just what my day was #our relationship has always been strained but since she got sober there was at least some contact?#anyways #replace wayne with my grandparents and this is just all projection baybee 😙✌️#super not cool with it BUT that's why there are some content warnings here you don't see from me very often 💕

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absolutebl · 2 months

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This Week in BL - The Industry is Having Issues But the Spice Spicy Must Flow

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) eps 1-2 of 10 - One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames starring MaxNat. I'm over this concept but I do enjoy MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Tai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha to deal with. (Phupha is played by Gun Thanawat who was Khom, the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night. We like this, but we scared of the love triangle aspect.) Did that make sense? Yeah, okay, see what I mean?

Initial thoughts?

The subs are troubling but I’m enjoying this show a lot. It’s nice to see MaxNat get something meaty to sink their teeth into - that’s not just each other. Also it’s so smart of them to give us a fully fleshed out entire episode developing the alter romance rather than just a separation + death. It makes Khram’s grief and motivation that much more believable. Also it’s really nice to see Nat have good chemistry with other actors.

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 3 of 8 (10?) - I'm still enjoying it. But Two Worlds is objectively better. So this one has lost ranking. Also, unexpectedly chili (the name of my heavy metal Thai cover band).

Lovey switchy and verse main couple too.

This is all quite pleasing.

The bit where the hosts pretend to be a BL couple actor ship was epic on so many levels.

Also unsettling.

All sex work is performative, and in a way there is something more honest about this depiction, in this setting, than what BL actors are made to do on the promo circuit. Which then begs the question, how different is BL from sex work? That's the unsettling bit, for me anyway. Not to slam on sex work AT ALL, we pro-the-true-pros on this damn blog, but actors have been shaded by association with True Professionals for a very long time and BL has already had one epic shut down in this regard. (See the PerthSaint scandal around Love By Chance, no I will not explain.) Where was I? Oh yes, so anyway, see the Gossip section for the part where they better be paid either way!

Also, since I'm a warped fucker, I found this scene funny.

And then hilarious when all of those BL tropes were just trotted out. Like a greatest hits reel.

Truly beyond meta. (How Absolute BL of them.)

Note he’s even standing in yaoi's patented "hands in pocket with the shoulders back"?

Meanwhile, the gayest bridge in Thailand made its quarterly appearance:

And lip serviced was paid to the most touristy romantic things you can do in Bangkok.

And I mean lip service literally.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 5 of 8 - I’m still enjoying it but getting more and more nervous. We getting too close to Promise territory for comfort. EXPLAIN Ji’s reticence well and do it now or risk audience mistrust. We have to be given a GOOD reason for Ji's behavior, or he'll be irredeemable.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - NO SINGING. Yes smiley kisses and good communication and a nice healthy relationship. But no singing!

1000 Years Old ep 6 of 12 - Dropping in the ranks. I’m sorry it’s just gotten boring. It has, however, inspired me to invest in my own ridiculous cream fuzzy sweater. Which I plan to wear with leather trousers and huge stumpy boots, like the Kpop queer I truly am. Or do I mean vampire?

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Seems to be an excuse for a small posse of Thai actors to wander around Tokyo playing tourist and sing in public . Someone stop them?

“Most people think this kind of thing is bad manners .”

Anyway, it’s v boring. I’ll give it one more ep but I suspect I’ll DNF.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 6 - Meh. This is also looking suspiciously DNF-a-licious.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 5 of 11 - It's brilliant. I love it. I'm ready to hurt. Let’s do this thing.

Distribution note: This one has been picked up and is also airing on Viki now, so it may lose YT distribution in soem territories. I like Youku's hard subs better than Viki's subs, but that's a matter of preference not information since I don't speak Mandarin.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - It is good. Every week I like this show a little more. I'm enjoying a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet slightly surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scene with this Japanese brand of authenticity was oddly elegant - for lack of a better way of putting it. All in all, this is a good show. Thought provoking. Stylish.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - It remains lovely but they sure are reusing a lot of footage. Also, this was a classic penultimate doom episode. I do wonder how they are going to resolve this show ethically.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - It is what it is, and it isn’t my style of show no matter what country of origin. Oddly that's one of the reasons I don't like it. Anyone could have made this, it's not as Japanese as I want it to be, it's just indie film club high school angst. Yawn.

I watched it, finally

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) 7 eps - I dislike vertical filming, but I kind of enjoyed this show as a BL. I like class conflict romances. For me the rich kid is a bit too dictatorial (edges into bulling), but it’s kinda works. It’s sparse and underdeveloped and a bit plotless, but mildly entertaining. If you're missing Vietnamese BL you might give it a try. 6/10

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) 8eps - A Burmese BL that I had thoughts about but actually ended up recommending. Read the saga here:

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) ep 1 of ? - on one hand it's micro-installment vertical, on the other it's adorable and from Taiwan. I blame @heretherebedork entirely for my conundrum. As indeed, I did for My Type back in the day. (That was Nat Chen's first BL, yes of Kiseki: Dear To Me fame.) So I think I will also simply lean on Here to let me know when it's done and binge all at once. It's just too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute pieces, I don't have that kind of endurance training, not even for BL.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - it's finished now, I dropped it at ep 4. Should I bother?

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing for some reason.

Man Suang that MileApo vehicle from last year is coming to Netflix in the USA. I haven't heard much about it and since the KP stans would have lost their tiny minds if it was any good at all, I'm assuming it's not good at all.

Gossip

Thai BL actor Yoon breaks with his former company and talks about some very very VERY shady goings on in the Thai BL industry. Including not being paid.

And whacha know, same thing happening in Korean BL.

Have I mentioned recently how much I hate the film industry?

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is also a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast.

I wonder if this was part of the hold up, with Geonu on Build Up right now, they might have tried to muffle this one. Or maybe it's just that bad...

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV?) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner), Best and frest face, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Without ghost girl.

With ghost girl.

I think she may be my favorite part of 1000 Years.

CLASSIC tsundere seme description of a sunshine uke. Like classic'est of classic. (Two Worlds)

Is there such a thing as a tired trope in a BL? Since it is a genre that is made up entirely of tropes quilted together? Your philosophical question for today brought to you by Deep Night's kabedon (Japanese trope) + punishment threat (Thai trope).

Love me a lap sit moment. (City of Stars)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

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yiminsuu · 1 year

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No Control

Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes (+18), dubious consent, unprotected sex, (semi) public sex, breeding, some fluff and angst, La Plaga acts like an aphrodisiac, mutual pining, reader and Leon are bad at communication.

Author’s Note: People don't know how invested I am in the Resident Evil games right now, if I loved the original games you can imagine how much I adore the remakes. Also, I've been having the most horrid of writing blocks in existence, I had this draft for 2 months! 2 MONTHS!!

Roaming around the castle with, apparently, no exit, is frustrating and even more so when you think your friend can't be as dumb as people think she is, but here we are, Ashley has gone missing once more and I'm stuck with Leon, who is sick with La Plaga and refuses to take a minute to regain strength by resting. My worries grow the more we proceed, and it seems he is obsessed with taking all the hits to himself, even though I can use a gun. I'm not the one the government is looking for, I know very well no one is looking for me, and if Leon hadn't found me I wouldn't be alive to see Ashley or, for lack of better words, to see her running around the castle to supposedly keep us safe.

"Are you sure you are alright?" I spoke, receiving a glance from Leon as we make our way through a corridor. "I should be the one asking you that, that knife stab was not pretty." I refuse to let myself be the damsel in distress, and I admit I can do many things if you give me a weapon, but in the last attack we were surrounded by the monks. The excruciating pain came as a shock, I couldn't move and my scream must have made Leon panic because his attention went immediately to me and the wound on my shoulder. "Do you need me to change the bandage?" I shook my head and lowered my gaze, letting the silence invade the space. I don't know if he can feel the tension, but dammit, ever since this Ada appeared out of nowhere there was this tightness in the air I couldn't quite grasp. I'm afraid Leon isn't as talkative as he was a few hours ago and I wonder why, he makes sure I'm protected even if I don't need it... Most of the time... And he refuses to make eye contact. Perhaps I did or said something he didn't like but I don't really see him as the type to hold a grudge against something like that, Leon doesn't believe it, but he literally is an angel.

Suddenly, Leon halts all of his movements and holds his head tightly in his hands, grunting in pain as he fell to his knees. We need to get to a safer area, La Plaga surely is a son of bitch to deal with. I placed his arm around my neck and helped him to move before someone sees us, clenching my gun in rising stress. "(Y/N)..." He muttered my name in a very low tone, he's completely out of it. I took Leon for as long as I could before he let himself fall to his knees again, his back hitting the wall abruptly. "Leon? Hey, stay with me. I'll give you some medicine and I'll go look for Ashley." As soon as I said that, his pained expression was gone, replaced by an alarmed one. "You can't go on your own...!"

"We have to save Ashley, and you are too weak because of the virus. I'll be fast." Leon's hand grabbed my arm harshly, and I'm sure it was going to leave a mark soon. In reality, he looked a lot sicker than I thought he would, his eyes were changing to red little by little, and even like this, he refused to look at me. "I don't..." He whispered, I furrowed my brows in concern. "Want you to die..." I once wondered why he seemed closed off, so serious and quiet, his kind demeanor quickly rushed away those thoughts but this surely answered many questions I couldn't ask him for obvious reasons.

I sighed deeply, sitting next to him and doing my best to calm down as he laid his head on my shoulder. We're not safe anywhere, so once someone finds us it will be game over, strangely, we haven't seen any enemy for the past 40 minutes.

Time goes by and we rest as much as we can in the lone room, I would occasionally touch Leon's head hoping he hasn't caught a fever, unfortunately, he was starting to burn up and I know it wasn't from walking under the cold rain. I kneel away and gain an unhearable mumble from the man, and checking on him closely, I see his rapidly rising chest, reddened cheeks, and hair disheveled from the short nap. "What is it doing to you?" I questioned confused, and slightly panicked when Leon opened his eyes to stare at me, pupils dilated and red with something I couldn't identify. "Leon...?" Slowly, he moved his legs apart and set down the shotgun, my eyes widened.

The bulge in his pants was massive.

A whimper escaped from my lips before I recomposed myself, is this one of the side effects of La Plaga?

Leon looked embarrassed beyond belief, trying to hide his face as much as possible. "I want to touch you." He started. "I need to... You have to get away." Leon... Wants to touch me?

No. This is not Leon, it's La Plaga speaking and messing with his body and mind, I have to find Luis as soon as possible and destroy the virus. "Hang in there." With that, I immediately ran away, but my heartbeat increased when the sound of footsteps caught up to me, crying loudly when two arms elevated me from behind. "Leon! Let me go--!" Before I know it, Leon lowered us, pressing my body onto the ground as his weight settles over my back. A groan escaped my lips, ready to grab my gun just to be swiftly incapacitated by the agent. "Leon...!"

"Quiet." Eyes widening at the deep sound of his voice, I noticed his breathing worsening the more he let the parasite take control. His hands shook and he slowly held up my leg to allow me to turn around, out of sympathy for someone I consider a friend, I stared into Leon's eyes. The sight broke my heart, he looked aroused, confused, a flushing mess of a guy that has an idea of what is about to happen. His brows furrowed the more tightly he grabbed on my clothing, just to have it ripped within a second, my only undergarments being my panties. I couldn't help but shiver from the cold surroundings. Leon bit his lip and glared at his own impotence to control the parasite, his firm, calloused fingers caress a smooth path along my skin before gently spreading my legs.

"It's okay..." Leon looked at me, bewildered at my words. If there was no way of escaping this, then at least we can make each other feel better somehow. "Just... Do what you have to do. I-I'll be fine..."

Leon closed his eyes slowly and with a shaky breath, his knife sliced my last remaining decency and he cupped my cunt, both of us became acutely aware of just how wet I am. It would be a lie to claim Leon is not good-looking, a good guy, and perhaps I'm the bad one because I found myself daydreaming of him like this. The touch felt heated, the pressure is delicious, and I can’t help but push my hips up, seeking more contact, more friction, just more of Leon... But his hand is already moving away. The tip of one finger slides a line to my clit, and my whole body jolts at the electric contact, his nervous pants are hot as he made slow, precise circles over and over on my clit. Then his hand dips lower, sinking two thick fingers into me. It punches the air out of me, leaving only an ache, my mind feels raw around the edges, fuzzy with the sharp spike of heat spearing through me.

I know what he's doing, Leon doesn't want to hurt me, but he's letting it harm him the more he tries to restrain it. He pulled his hand away, it’s like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head, I watch him through half-lidded eyes, breath panting as my lungs squeeze painfully tight in my chest. I heard the sound of a belt amongst our hard breathing, he sounded relieved for a second. I shivered when I felt his tip pressing against my hole, Leon holds himself there, and I spasm in place while the wait becomes excruciating. I don’t know what he’s doing until I hear the inhale of a breath.

"I'm sorry..."

Then I feel everything, pain, pleasure, warmth, the sensation of being filled without mercy. I moaned, his hand firm on my waist as he pins me down. His jaw tenses, watching himself slide out me slowly, waiting for some type of signal that would mean he can and should stop, but nothing comes, in fact, it makes it worse. Leon is looming above me, wrapping one hand around his slick cock, wet with pre-come dripping from the flushed tip. "Fuck..." He muttered, yanking me even closer toward him and notching the tip of his cock at my entrance. I braced myself for penetration, anticipating the stretch of him with a pathetic whimper.

The first slide as he filled me up again with his cock is fucking heaven, a sweet aching stretch that sends pleasure singing out along my every nerve. My thighs tremble, my body arching against him without any input from me, clenching down around his girth while my vision flickered. Leon groaned shamefully, he sounded desperate the faster he moved, I swear I can see fucking stars. He doesn’t stop, he can't, he thrusts himself into me with harsh, deep thrusts and pleasure spreads up my stomach, twining along my legs, and I can feel my orgasm building already.

My breath comes out as a sob, tears stinging my eyes as my cunt clenched and squeezed around the hardness of his cock, twitching and jerking in response. A hand rested against my cheek, it didn't slow Leon's motions, but it was the softest response I had from him since this whole ordeal started. I placed my hand on his in response to his concern, and those beautiful eyes of his slammed shut, biting out a curse.

If this wasn't caused by a lethal virus I would be happy to think he feels the same way, but shit... Even if this is only to aid him a little I don’t mind being a cum bucket for a few hours. Muscles contract and clutch down in a way that's beyond my control when I'm rewarded with more deep thrusts. My eyes widened when he touched my cervix, making me whimper loudly. "L-Leon!!" It’s maddening, pleasure shoots through my entire being before rolling my eyes back and cumming around his cock...

He doesn't stop, Leon doesn't stop-- Fuck! He's not stopping!

I try to push him away from me, but it's all for naught as he relentlessly thrusts himself into me. "Almost, I'm almost there..." He spoke, his skin slapping against mine with no signs of stopping soon. Fucking liar, trying to make me feel better when we know it feels like we're both going to die. "Look at me, (Y/N)... Don't close your eyes." Slowly but surely, I indulged, and all I can see is his eyes burning into me, pupils blown so wide that they were almost pitch black. Leon's intense gaze fixed on me is like I'm the only thing that exists to him, I want him to stop, but I'm too far gone to say any word.

We're stripped of thinking at this point, Leon is going feral little by little and he's not letting me go, I doubt he will try to control La Plaga again. I screamed whenever he would hit my cervix, unable to close my mouth if only for shame, but I'm blissed out of my mind and overstimulated. I met his dark gaze, finding his eyes on my body once more, maybe he hasn't stopped staring at all. "Stop-- F-Fuck! Staring--!" I choked on a moan, it was barely coherent, but somehow I managed to get the words out. With a startled yell, I was pulled to his lap and sighed in relief at the change of position. "Better?" Leon whispered into my ear, once I nodded, he began thrusting as if he has the stamina to last a lifetime.

My hands clenched on his shirt, mentally cursing again and again at how perfectly he fills me, he's hitting every right spot. Leon puts a hand across my hair, his eyes softening and planting small kisses on my shoulder and neck to calm me down, repeating that he'll be over soon, that he's sorry. The sweet burning ache builds immediately, deep and consuming, the blissful pleasure swirls tight and insistent somewhere deep in my belly. I can't recognize any more words outside of my own, but Leon's voice is gentle, the softness is in direct contrast to the way I'm crying and begging. I reached up and tangled my hand in his hair, drawing him closer so I can kiss him.

Leon's arms come around me as his hips thrust up, a small cry coming out of my mouth as he licked my lips. He groaned, hips adjusting his angle, arms pulling me down greedily so I can meet his non-stopping strikes, again and again with a hard and rough pace. With this new position, it doesn’t take me long to feel that familiar warmth, all I can do is cling to him as everything inside me intensifies in every sense of the word. "(Y/N)..." Pleasure spills over my body, it's chaotic and too much, bright spots blinding my vision as I come, harder than I ever have in my life, and squirting all over Leon's shirt and lap.

Leon still isn’t stopping, pushing deep into me as his thrusts don’t slow even when his cum coats my walls, a broken gasp escaping him. "F-Fuck, Leon!" The blinding bliss spikes through my blood, hot and piercing. It’s pitiful the way I'm sobbing and whining as he continues relentlessly with his strokes until both of us are completely spent. Finally, he stills, collapsing on the ground with me above him, and we lay there like that for a long moment, panting in absolute euphoria.

I feel sleepy and sated, with all the stress of being hunted down this was like a breath of fresh air, and reality went blurry and faded at the edges. "Didn't think this would happen, but thanks..." Leon said, panting. I hummed, trying to calm my heartbeat. "Sorry about your clothes."

I snickered at his awkwardness after such intense sex. "I doubt you are." The silence came back, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be, his arms were hugging my form and I felt safe and protected. Then he sat with me resting against him. "I'm alright, seriously. Still, I doubt I will be able to walk for a while."

Leon looked away embarrassed but turned back to me, kissing my forehead. "Wanna get coffee after this?"

I smiled tiredly, but deep down the feeling of joy flourished. "Yeah, now go on and look for some clothes, I don't want Ashley to ask."

#resident evil 4 #resident evil 2 #resident evil #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #resident evil imagine #oneshot

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lilyrizzy · 10 months

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max/daniel, hunger games au, outsider pov

The air in the arena is so suffocating, Alex can't help but tip his head back and marvel a little at the artificial domed sky above their heads. He'd always thought, growing up, that if the Capitol invested even half the money they spent on the games into feeding the people of the districts, there'd be no need for any of this.

Dangerous thoughts he'd always known better than to share.

Still, he's said them to George more than once since their names were called for that second time. At this point, there feels like there's nothing left to lose. They already won, Alex two years ago and George just last year. Back to back victories for their District, and here they are anyway. Punished for their victory.

This time, they're going to lose.

A little way off in front of where they are sat side by side now, Max and Seb are talking in hushed, almost hostile looking tones. Trouble in teamate paradise. Charles, who has already lost his, has rolled his trousers up, taken off his shoes and is standing barefoot in the water.

Alex longs to join him. Underneath his legs, the sand is burning. He was the one who'd suggested coming here, thinking that being by the water there would be some kind if breeze, some relief, but-

"Real beaches have wind," Charles had mocked him with an eye roll. "This is not some holiday to the coast." As if Alex had ever been on one. "Now we are just sitting here in the open, like ducks."

Nobody had moved though. There are five of them here after all, almost half of the total people left alive. They stood just as good a chance here, against the three left that were any real threat, as they did hidden away in the jungle behind.

"I don't trust these people," George tells him for the fourth time since they've been sat here. Alex doesn't need to follow his line of sight to know exactly who he's talking about.

Max, who Seb has left standing alone in favour of making his way back up the beach towards them. Max who is stood with his eyes closed, his face turned up towards the artifical sun, hands stuffed into his pocket. His lips moving like he's talking to someone who isn't there.

Maybe George has a point, but-

"He's our best chance of staying alive, and you know it," Alex reminds him.

Max killed thirteen people in his games. A record, especially impressive for someone who isn't trained for it, not from District 1 or 2. A total worth bragging about, but Alex has never heard him even mention it.

Maybe he's naive, but that fact along with the dark circles underneath his eyes make Alex want to trust him in the way George can't seem to.

"He's a monster," George says, something else Alex has heard before, "do you know how many times I was made to rewatch his bloody games, by Toto, by-".

"I'm going to get some water, Georgie," Alex announces, getting to his feet because he can't have this argument again. Can't remind George for the hundredth time that Toto also told them, make allies. That Max, for whatever reason, seems to care about keeping his alivd. Had tried so hard to carry a wounded Carlos through poisonous fog, just because Charles asked for his help.

Alex had never even seen Max interact with either of them before this games, but his voice as he'd told Charles he was sorry for failing, for letting Carlos die is not something he'll forget soon.

He's just made it to the treeline when the same voice calls his name. Turning, Alex finds Max running towards him, almost frighteningly quick.

"I will come with you," he announces, leaving no room for discussion. "We should not go places alone."

Alex glances to George, but he's sat with Seb now, staring straight ahead into the water. Maybe George was right, and this is how they die. Picked off by the two golden boys of District 6.

"Okay," Alex tells him, still not quite finding it in himself to disagree. He just wants to go home to Lily, and he already knows he'll never do that again, so what else is there left to be afraid of.

They walk in silence. The jungle is silent too, eerily so in a way Alex knows can't be real, even if before last year he'd never left the soot covered District 12. How different than a jungle and the forest of his home really be?

Alex has just tapped the spire into the trunk of a tree when Max touches a hand to his shoulder.

"Did Toto tell you," he asks, strangely urgent in a way he wasn't been since trying to drag Carlos's body out of the fog. "Do you know?"

Alex frowns. Behind them, the water trickles, but neither of them move to drink.

"Tell me what?" He asks. "What do-."

Before he can finish, someone is shouting Max's name. Screaming it, loud and piercing. Alex's head whips around to the beach, but it's coming from the trees, and-

"Daniel," Max chokes out, face drained of all colour. Before Alex realises what is happening, Max is knocking past him, running into the jungle.

Alex finds his feet moving, chasing after him as the screams continue. A man's voice, crying for Max over and over. Screaming in pain, begging for help. But-

There's no one in the games called Daniel this year.

Still, Max's voice echos just ahead of him, calling out for him. "Daniel! Daniel, I am coming, Daniel."

"Max," Alex calls, adding to unbreable crescendo, "Max!"

He catches up with him in him a small clearing, finding him stood still and surrounded by a flock of birds flying around his head. It's then Alex realises where all the noise is coming from. The jabberjays perfectly mimicking the person- Daniel's- voice in a way designed to torment Max.

He's slashing his blade through the air, trying to cut them down. Alex makes a step towards him, reaching for his own weapon to try to help, only to find himself jolted back, unable to pass through. On the other side of some invisible torture chamber Max is trapped inside by the same forcefields that have divided this arena up into the 12 segments of a clock.

"Max," he says again, taking in the sick look of terror on his face, "Max, they're not real, they're just birds, they're-"

"Fuck off," Max snaps, eyes wild when he looks to him. "Fuck off, Alex, go- Go back to the beach, I cannot protect you in here."

For a moment he hesitates, watching Max crumple to the ground, pressing his fingers into his ears, eyes screwed shut. With his knees tucked under his chin, Alex is reminded that Max is younger than him. Just 24.

Back on the beach, he sits down beside Seb and George.

"Max is trapped in a new segment," he says, when Seb looks worriedly behind him. Alex's voice is shaking. "He- It's jabberjays, they're- Who is Daniel?"

Seb's entire face falls, and he gets to his feet.

"Another Victor from 6. I volunteered for him this year," he says, and right, Alex should have remembered that. "He was Max's mentor."

Seb makes his way towards the jungle from which Alex just came, not offering any more than that. Not that he really needs to.

If there's one thing these games have taught Alex, it's the face of someone who thinks they are losing everything they love.

#sorry if youve never read catching fire this probably makes no sense #im so lazy with world building #anyway hope someone likes this!!!#max/daniel #fic #like this isnt very imaginative #but i love this scene from the book and wanted to put my guys into it #and its almost 2am and i dont want tk typo fix l

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nsyncat · 1 month

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OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

#911 abc #buck x tommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 season 7 #personal #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #911 #tevan

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beewolfwrites · 1 year

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Hi! I was wondering if you could write something about y/n not being japanese and not knowing Japanese so Chishiya is super interested in her and helps her learn some japanese? Thank U!! ❤️❤️❤️

Soooo, for those who used to read my fics, hello again! I'm alive, lol. Just had a busy year, lost an aunt to covid, completely changed my career, had a whole spectrum of family issues, and lost all time for writing anything.

I haven't watched season 2 yet, but apparently they've put Chishiya in the Jack of Hearts game and he eats some cookies (??)

This ask was from such a long time ago, so I'm sorry anon, I hope you're out there somewhere enjoying season 2! The request was so similar to the character in my fics, so I just wrote this as kind of a deleted scene from AWIAF, early on just after she joins the Beach.

Enjoy :)

____________________________

I traced the kanji for 帽子や, making sure each thin black stroke was neat, in perfect order. Despite the mid-morning sunshine, the bar and pool was empty. Even the usual bartender was tucked away behind hotel curtains, likely sleeping off a game. Having only arrived a few days ago, I didn’t know what I had expected, but I quite liked this side of the Beach. An inflatable flamingo lay discarded on the pool’s edge, and on every surface tall glasses glistened with the dregs of warm cocktails - ghosts of last night’s chaos. However, the warmth of the sun grazing the back of my neck and the soft lap of the pool reminded me that there could be some respite here - maybe not heaven or a utopia, but something.

Hunched over my notebook, I flicked through a pocket dictionary, listing the kanji for useful words.

帽子や - Hatter

危ない - Dangerous

生きる - to live (ichidan verb) - 生きます (formal)

死ぬ - to die (godan verb) - 死にます (formal)

“What a waste of time.”

Even with the quiet of the pool, I hadn’t heard him approach. The air shifted, disturbed by his sudden presence, as he sat on the barstool beside mine. A little too close for comfort, his shadow blocked out the sunlight and he smelled like the shared detergent from the Beach’s laundry room. He didn’t reach for any of the drinks or snacks, but sat playing with an old iPod as he analysed the notes in front of me. I flattened my hand over the page, fighting off a shiver.

“I didn’t realise it was any of your business how I spend my time.”

“It isn’t,” he said. “But if you’re going to be of any use to Hatter, you need to change your strategy and learn the language faster.”

Strategy? For learning Japanese? Me and my notes had nothing to do with him. “I don’t know what you’re taking about. Not everything is a game, Chishiya.”

He raised a brow. “Isn’t it? Hatter didn’t let you stay out of the kindness of his heart. He wants playing cards, and I gave him my word that you're smart.”

“Are you suggesting I’m stupid?”

“No, but what use is a player who can’t understand the rules?”

If he hadn’t come here for drinks or snacks, surely he only found me to pressurise me. I didn’t need his unhelpful little comments, warnings and riddles. There was more than enough of that in the games.

“I didn’t luck out of those games, you know? I actually did understand the rules. You knew that already, so stop trying to play with me.”

He smiled, clearly enjoying himself. “This whole world is a game, and even now you’re in a life or death situation. Are you sure you have time to be writing out kanji for words you already know?”

I closed my notebook. Yes, I had known deep down that writing out vocabulary wouldn’t get me very far. But it was hardly as if the Beach offered intensive fast-track language classes for poor unfortunate tourists who landed themselves here. The only hope I had was Chishiya, who was currently more invested in detangling his headphones than holding this conversation.

I leaned back, stretching out my fingers to feel the sun once more. “What do you suggest then, O Great Language Master?”

“Immersion.”

The idea was laughable. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m about as immersed as I can get. I’m in Japan, surrounded by Japanese people, playing death games that are only explained in Japanese —

“And yet you hide away in your room. You only come down when the pool is quiet. You don’t speak to anyone aside from myself or Kuina, and most of the time, you speak to us in your own language.” His catlike eyes slid across in a side glance so calculating, it hurt. “Am I wrong?”

There was nothing more I could say. I couldn’t even argue with him, and there was no point to it. “So what can I do then?”

He shifted, turning to face me fully. “Between now and tomorrow, only speak to me in Japanese.”

“What if I don’t know how to say something?”

“Then ask,” he said, “or look it up in that dictionary. But don’t rely on a language that isn’t going to help you survive.”

I pursed my lips, thinking through my words before speaking. “なぜ私を助けて”

Why are you helping me?

Chishiya looked away, squinting out across the courtyard. His mouth curled as if there was a private joke I had missed somewhere.

“さあね...”

He slid off his stool and slipped his ipod back into his pocket, before heading back into the hotel.

Who knows?

#alice in borderland #aib #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x oc #chishiya x reader #imawa no kuni no arisu

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dainesanddaffodils · 4 months

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okay so I think I have maybe like 2 mutuals who are ffxiv enthusiasts, but I gotta yell into the void about my warrior of light and the fact that, in true oc fashion, she went and did her own thing without my consent and now I gotta deal with all the feelings it is giving me

so, my partner finished endwalker last year and Had Many Emotions about it and afterword I said, sure, put me in Character Creation For Fun I Won't Do Anything About It

but then I made a cute little Au Ra and named her Cimorene to reference my fav childhood book series and I was like, oh no I love her I guess I'll have to put her through The Trauma that is this whole game

(I know there is much trauma, again, because I witnessed my partner finishing endwalker and she also would tell me things about what was going on, vague enough - and long ago enough - that I'm not like SUPER spoiled on what I have ahead of me, but like, enough that I know shit is Sad)

but ANYWAY I was still pretty casual about this because, friends, I am not a Gamer. The last game I played, that wasn't a Mariokart/Mario Party/Smash that I've played at a friend's house, was like... on my family game cube 15+ years ago. I want to be a gamer but my brain can't find time for it... until now

so I'm casually trucking along through a realm reborn doin my little white mage quests and meeting the characters my partner has cried about, especially this one guy called thancred - of whom I had heard quite a lot about and my brain had already decided, I want that one.

(he's voiced by Taliesin Jaffe at first, he's a pretty white haired anime boy with trauma, he's got horrible coping mechanisms, what was I supposed to do? to quote Richard Gansey, "Crushed and Broken, just the way women like 'em")

so that was like in the back of my mind because obviously my little baby wol has to go through a lot and he has to go through a lot (most of which I am well aware of) before that's going to take off and even then I already imagine it's going to be a sort of background tension they refuse to actually speak on but both just Know for like, ever (yes my favorite ship is Roy and Riza from FMA why do you ask)

but then I'm like a little over halfway through this first installment and a bunch of awful things happen to my baby for the first time and I'm kinda invested in how she's having a kind of terrible time and the first group of people she'd felt some kind of belonging with are in danger and she feels lost and helpless -

and my partner is sitting next to me watching me play and starts getting excited about the fact that I'm close to meeting another character

that character is haurchefant

and I had never heard them talk about him before so I didn't really know who he was, but he's the first person to be genuinely kind to my warrior after several very bad days. they're in a fortress in an eternal winter and he's still the warmest person she's met in a very long time...

and I thought, oh that's so nice I'm glad she got someone in her corner now after all that shit, anyway moving on

but then, like for the following few days I kept. thinking about it. about how much that would have meant to her, about how lonely she had been feeling before meeting him and how, now that she's found that, she kind of just, wants to be around him

and it hit me that, without my own consent on it, Cimorene had said, I want that one.

so now I have to deal with my baby's first love (which, judging by my partner and her friends reactions when I told all of this to them, is going to be a fucking tragic first love) when I hadn't expected to deal with that at all and now I'm like really really invested in this dumb game

(this got way longer than expected, I just had to Yell. also this is probably a precursor for things to come. I may be reblogging Final Fantasies up in here before long)

#ffxiv #final fantasy 14 #a realm reborn #haurchefant #anyway I hate this I want to write fucking FANFIC #and I'm not even in heavensward yet I have So Much to go through lmao

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garroth-core · 1 year

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the tragedy of immortality and godhood and the persistence of love despite it, because of it, is one of the most fascinating parts of mcd and mystreet

think of irene, who murders her daughter and gives her body-turned-relic to the father, unknowingly using his daughter's corpse as a weapon, who loses all emotions after a long life. think of shad, who raises an army of the dead and tortures his subordinates, who tries to kill an innocent three-year-old for the crimes of her mother who doesn't even remember those crimes and is an entirely different person. think of the shadow knights' transformation being completed when they kill the person they love the most. think of hyria, thousands of years old and sworn to protect the sacred forest, estranged from her daughter for over thirty years when she chooses duty over family, who herself admits that "the longer you live, the more you forget how to love". you'd think gods and immortals would be the epitome of life; after all, they are alive forever. but we see they're more dead than anything. they are stripped of their humanity, their love, their empathy, leaving nothing but empty husks of souls. they feel nothing. they are nothing.

and yet. and yet and yet and yet — love perseveres. that is the biggest tragedy of it all. love is not an unstoppable force. it did not stop the horrors that befell the lives of the immortals and those around them. love is an immovable object. it stayed through the atrocities, the rage, the massacres, the murder, the estrangement. irene wished, more than anything, to feel again. she tells hyria she will slumber until the world needs her again. because before the divine warriors, before shad, and before her daughter, irene was a woman who loved humanity. shad's rampage is because of his grief, and what is grief if not love's ghost? light shining from a dead star? his love for his daughter motivates him to take alina in vengeance for her gruesome death, to go after aphmau. hyria still loves her daughter. laurence clings to memories of aphmau in the midst of his painful and traumatic transformation in the nether. sasha who has done "twisted things" admits that there are people she cares for in the shadow knight army, going so far as to side with aphmau. even laurence says she was kind to him.

and vylad. vylad, who is the catalyst for everything. vylad who brings irene back into the world because he needs her, because his brother needs her. because, though he has lost all emotion, he still remembers the one brother who was kind to him in his lonely childhood. that is literally what starts mcd!!! the key to the entire thing!!! a man's love for his brother!!!

and then we have perhaps the most tragic figure of them all: lady aphmau.

now, it's wild to me that mystreet went from silly happy fun times to aphmau is the fucking messiah (again) but i won't lie i'm so heavily invested in what happened to mcd!aphmau

after fuck-knows-what-happened, lady aphmau ascends to godhood and becomes mystreet's lady irene. it's implied something went horribly wrong in the events of mcd and lady aphmau, now a goddess and cut off from her friends and family (alina states she "still lived in an unreachable realm"), has to live on immortal and alone. but even though the world eventually forgets her, forgets her friends, forgets her sons and her daughters, she remembers. her love perseveres, even in a world empty of all she once loved.

so she makes a new world. a new world where her friends are happy and alive, where even her enemies — zane, gene, zenix, sasha — eventually befriend her own original group and lead somewhat happy lives themselves. lady aphmau lives vicariously through mys!aphmau, she states so herself. she pretends it is her who gets to have a happy, simple life. but at the end, mys!aphmau's life is not hers to live, not hers to interfere with. as she says, her aaron already died long ago.

once again, love is the key to the entire thing. she chooses to sacrifice herself for aaron. she passes over resurrection for aphmau. she has nothing to gain from this. she chooses aaron because she loves him. she chooses aphmau because she knows what it is like to love and be loved, to once have something to go home to. but her friends are waiting not on earth. so she dies, her daughter at her side.

i think what gets to me the most are the endings we see for shad, irene, and lady aphmau. we don't see the endings for the others because jesson didn't finish the series <33 but what we do see are these: simple endings. peaceful endings. quiet endings. it fucking does something to me when grand larger-than-life characters yearn for easy, uncomplicated lives.

think of what lady aphmau reincarnated all of them for, what she broke divine rules for, what she defended against the celestial cannon. snowball fights and putting on silly plays and opening maid cafes are what this all-powerful goddess wants. domesticity and wedding dress shopping and a house on the street where all her neighbors are her friends. this is what heaven is to her, not the chapel above the clouds devoted to her. what does she care about that? she's found heaven in a golden afternoon with her dearest hearts. think of shad and irene. after all the grand battles, the world-ending apocalypses, all the bloodbaths, and at the end shad goes home to irene, their daughter at his side, nothing more. they end their lives in an, to the bigger world, unremarkable suburban house save for the memories that live there, the memories themselves are indistinguishable from any memories any other person would have. simple memories of a simple childhood of a simple girl.

a simple girl who, after a battle against a demon centuries old, after finding out she's a literal goddess, is by her friend's side. the first friend she ever made. her not-alone-buddy. her life has been thrown upside down. her best friends and the love of her life have sustained irreparable damage, losing their memories, their magic, their knowledge. it is her godhood that is the cause. they sacrificed themselves so that she may bring them victory. once again, the tragedy that befell her predecessors repeats itself. godhood takes, and takes, and takes. she must feel so many emotions — guilt and grief and rage and helplessness. she must blame herself. but then she thinks of what the goddess said to her, of how people have chosen to be in her life. she looks at the friend who chooses to sit by her side as they both recover from their injuries. so she smiles upon seeing him, says it's been a long time, and reaffirms that no, she is not alone. none of them are. she does say it in some grand declaration, some striking action. her love is simple, peaceful, quiet. despite everything, because of everything, her love persists. it perseveres. it is an immovable object.

#yeah. yeah i went a bit insane #aphblr #aphmau #aphverse #minecraft diaries #mystreet #aphmau minecraft diaries #aphmau mcd #shad the destroyer #shad #irene #irene the matron

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bidisasterevankinard · 9 months

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Tease Tidbit Tuesday 😏

even if it's officially wednesday for me for almost an hour

tagged by @forthewolves @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @eddiediaztho @ladydorian05 thank you all 💙💙💙💙

bra fic is occupied all my mind and I think it's a my goal is to finish this by Thursday

I'm sorry for all mistakes I've just wrote it

“So what did you buy?”

And a second after that the realization that they were in a lingerie store suddenly hits him in the face like a slap and jealousy rakes him into its cage, embraces every part of his soul and body, squeezing him in a vice, this huge green monster which constantly overcomes him when he is next to Buck and someone can take Buck’s attention from him takes control of his brain and he does not have time to stop it.

“Did you meet someone? How long ago did it happen that you bought her lingerie?”

How long could Buck hide from him that he has someone? How long has Eddie been deluding himself that he and Chris and their family as they are now are enough for Buck?

Buck raises his eyebrow for a second and then smiles a little.

“Are you jealous, Eds?” Buck closes his locker and fully faces him crossing his muscular hands over his voluptuous chest making it more appealing with the way Buck’s pectoral muscles squeezes together under the blue fabric, which hugs Buck almost like a second skin.

Eddie still thinks that Buck should go and change the size of his uniform to a slightly larger one.

The way he looks in it distracts from work and makes people think indecent thoughts in the workplace.

It can't be just Eddie who has such thoughts about Buck's immense love for tight clothes and constant hours in the gym, which every day only sharpens his muscles more to such an extent that Eddie is ready like the sculptors of the Renaissance era, to take a plane in his hands, look for a rock deserving of Buck and cut out of it a sculpture worthy of the beauty of Buck's body.

Buck invests so much in the way he looks and Eddie is ready to write poetry, make sculptures, paint paintings or write songs, anything to capture this beauty for posterity, and to show to the blue-eyed man how much he appreciates all this.

But Eddie is too afraid of what would happen when he shows how much he loves Buck's body.

The thing he fears the most not even that Buck would understand how much and irrevocably Eddie is in love with him, but that he, on the contrary, would think that Eddie, like all past Buck’s partners, wants him only for the sake of his body, desires him only because of his appearance and what he can give him for satisfaction of physical parts.

But it’s not it.

...

“It’s him,” Buck says and Eddie hopes that this man will ignite right now, because he probably doesn't deserve a drop of Buck's attention, and how did Buck manage to hide his boyfriend from Eddie for so long? Is he shy? Thinks Eddie won't approve?

Well, he doesn't approve of any person Buck dates because all these people don’t deserve him.

They don’t deserve such a kind and sweet, brave and smart, intelligent and funny, caring person, who has a big heart he wears on his sleeve and a smile which is so beautiful and bright and sometimes takes Eddie’s breath away, but Eddie’s sure all people feel it when Buck smiles like that.

Even if he hopes they will suffocate as they dared to look at Buck.

“And I've known him all my life because it’s me,” Buck smiles and winks at him.

“And it’s just a bra. I used to wear them a lot for years but hadn’t really done it for,” Buck put his hand on his chin trying to remember how long he wasn’t wearing bras, while Eddie's brain efforts to figure out if he misheard and Buck said he bought a bra for himself.

He can only blink stupidly at his best friend.

tagging @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @spaceprincessem @alyxmastershipper @monsterrae1 @911onabc @userdisaster @transbuck @translasso @buddierights @pirrusstuff @elvensorceress @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @honestlydarkprincess @loserdiaz @jeeyuns @wildlife4life @bekkachaos @ebdaydreamer @cowboy-buddie @caroandcats @rogerzsteven @barbiediaz @heartshapedvows @housewifebuck @mandzuking17 @devirnis if they want to share

#this fic is getting out of control cause Eddie Diaz is so grossly in love it's insane #petty jealous Eddie is my beloved so he's here a little #bra fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #my writing

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faeryarchives · 2 years

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can i borrow your phone? (gn!reader)

welcome to another chapter in azul having love problem and he needs your number to solve it

note: help i just randomly thought of this earlier + notice how i love azul so much i always put him in these kind of situation

"hi azul~ what are you doing?"

"(n-name)?! don't sneak up on me like that!"

recently, you notice how azul acts kind of out of place when the two of you hang out like usually you can talk for hours and the dorm leader would take note even the slightest detail.

"oh did you remember what i said earlier?" azul finally removed his troubled gaze from the gadget to look directly at you, "huh? was that about getting to a race with epel?" his voice laced with unsureness causing you to burst out laughing.

"azul, i talked about that like a day ago!" a warm feeling rushed inside of him, fair skin dusted by a light blush caused by embarrassment, the dorm leader couldn't help to avert his stare anywhere but on you "maybe i am just not feeling that good in remembering things right now." he let out a huff, hearing your merry laughter in the background as he resumed back to typing on his laptop.

it seems like the laptop he's been typing on since you arrived is more interesting than you. 'hmmm, is that the record for today's sales? but he looks so invested in it.' curious, you got on your feet and quietly walked behind him.

"what are you even writing th-" before you could even sneak a peek through his shoulder, the door to the vip room burst open as floyd let himself in causing azul to let out a sigh of frustration.

"how many times should i tell you to knock before entering, floyd! you even forget to close the door."

"oh don't be such a grumpy fishy azul." the eel then gave you a look before grinning, his thumb pointing something outside of the door. "shrimpyyy, your friends are causing trouble again. tell them to stop or i will squeeze the-"

pressing your hand on your forehead, you can already feel the headache coming. "please spare me the trouble of carrying them back to their dorms." turning to your best friend, you quickly gave azul a big hug. "see you later azul, it was yet again fun talking to you!" he could only stand there frozen, watching you disappear from his sight only to suffer from floyd's hum of mischief.

"ara? what's this?"

"wait don't read that!" azul could do nothing but try to grab his laptop from the tall eel but it was failing miserably as floyd read each word on the search bar.

'how to ask your crush their number without directly asking their number'

"you and shrimpy had been like friends ever since autumn, how on twisted wonderland logic is this?" finally, azul got to close the laptop in hand and glare at his friend. as if keeping the frustration and embarrassment for a long time - he started letting these emotions out by rambling.

"in my defense, i never seem to be bothered not having their number before! but now when i hear them asking (name) to send them a message like it's not fair!" heaving out a sigh, he buried his head into his hands. "imagine my life problems if i just got the prefect's number."

floyd hummed while looking through his own phone, rolling on the floor looking invested in azul's dilemma. "why not just ask them directly?"

"no! what do you want me to say? hi (name) i know we've been friends for months but can i ask your number?" as if lady luck made him a friend of misfortune, you once again entered the room looking a little exhausted. azul could feel his heart sank at the bottom of the sea floor,

'oh my sevens, did they hear me ramble on? i want to crawl up in my octopus jar and cry.' while the octopus seems to be internally panicking, floyd made himself comfortable on the floor, taking a bite from a sand which he made out of nowhere.

"hey azul, i'm sorry can i borrow your phone real quick? my phone just died and i need to just do something real quick."

"o-oh sure." handing the phone in your hands, you didn't waste anytime to start typing something and not a minute later you gave it back to him. "by chance, did you just arrived right now or..."

hearing the question, a mischievous smile find its way to your lips before walking next to the door, laughing.

"mmmm, i didn't hear you!" grabbing your own phone, it light up to azul's surprise - it was clearly not low on battery! "i should be going now, why don't you send me a text about your question okay? bye azul!"

"what do you mean by numbe-" he froze when he finally saw the thing you typed earlier and floyd could swore steams were coming out of azul's face. "what's going on over there?" being the curious eel he is, floyd sneak a peek and dramatically gasp.

"my friend is not bitchless anymore!"

"floyd shut up!" there was a new contact on azul's phone book - named (name) (last name) with a note underneath.

'you could've just asked me ;) let's chat more though'

azul didn't even hesitate to put you as one of his emergency contacts, don't tell the tweels though or he will never hear the end of it. for the rest of the day, everyone in octavinelle tried so hard to hold back their laughter watching he try to hide his blush whenever he receive a reply from you. 'ah, young love.'

#twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst x reader #twst reader insert #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst scenarios #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader

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formulaorange · 4 months

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2024 Winter Anime

It's here! It's finally here!!! Solo Leveling comes out this season! There's definitely a few others to keep an eye out for but this is the star of the winter season:

Solo Leveling One of my most anticipated series. I'm caught up on the english light novels (8 volumes) and I'm honestly so invested in this story. In a way it gives the same impact as One Punch Man but if the story progressed a little faster toward fame and growth in his power. Easily the best of the season. Noteworthy On Going Shows: Frieren - Episodes 17-28 One of the most mesmerizing and well paced fantasies I've seen. Also one of my 10/10s of all time. Worth looking into if you remotely like fantasy. Shangri La Frontier - Episodes 14-25 Another fantasy game series that honestly just looks like it's a fun game. Explores a lot of game mechanics within this full-dive VR type game that almost puts SAO to shame. Fun action, fantasy and fun for game lovers. Apothecary Diaries - Episodes 13-24 My current favourite drama/romance/medical mystery series. The characters are simple but the show highlights the different dynamics and almost feels like an enemies to lovers plot. New Seasons:

Blue Exorcist - Season 3 This is one of the og shows I watched growing up. It's a mythology school themed show that I loved. It's been 13 years since season 1 aired and I'm stoked to see it come back. It's being done by a different studio since A-1 is busy with solo leveling, so I'm not sure if it'll hit the same but I'll still check it out at least for the nostalgia.

Mashle - Season 2 The funniest anime I've seen in a while. Man muscle brains his way through magic school and the whole show is a meme of harry potter and other magic series. Truly entertaining. Can't wait for this season

Delicious In Dungeon This is a series I've wanted to pick up the manga for for a while. It's about dealing with food and hunger when these adventurers are deep in a dungeon and learn to start cooking and eating what they can find down there. Funny concept but honestly looks like a lot of fun.

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer I read this manga and light novel so long ago. (Literal years - link to my manga thoughts and summary). I'm looking forward to the adaptation. I think nowadays this kind of story doesn't catch nearly as much attention as it did a few years ago. An adventurer dies in a dungeon and is reborn as an undead who can evolve as he kills other monsters and he deals with trying to fit in with the human realm again and evolving. I'm still looking forward to it after keeping an ear our for so long!

Mr. Villain's Day Off I recently heard about this series and thought it was such a cute concept. Us with all our villain complexes with enjoy this one. Will likely be a background show for me as there won't be a huge plot, regardless, still fun to watch. Burn the Witch - #0.8 - 30 min Special I think this won't be as exciting now that Bleach has come back and we aren't as depraved of Tite Kubo's work but I really enjoyed the original short series. Hoping for more of this world in the future. Sequels: Classroom of the Elite - Season 3 Tsukimichi - Season 2 (Link to review of season 1) The Dangers in My Heart - Season 2 More Continuations: Undead Unluck Ragna Crimson After going through 20+ shows every season, many with sub-par animations and the same fantasy twists, I've become real picky about which series are even worth trying to watch these days. Here are the ones that deserve at least 2 episodes in order: A Sign of Affection - Gets a special spot since it's incredibly rare to see disability representation in anime and it looks like it's done quite well- A romance between a guy and a deaf girl. Looks super sweet Bucchigiri?! - I honestly can't say this looks appealing to me personally but I've hear the name before and well it's MAPPA. (Give em a break) 'Tis Time for "Torture," Princess - looks well animated and just a fun watch Metallic Rouge - The sci-fi series for this season. I'm not sure I have it in me to watch something heavy like this this season but it looks decent. The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic The Witch and the Beast - Here for manga readers - lowkey looks like the manga will be much better and this might be a skip for me. Hokkaido Gyaru's are super Adorable (Ecchi) ALSO - Big reminder: Haikyu!! and Demon Slayer have their movies coming out this season as well (both theatrical releases so keep an eye out!!!) Demon Slayer: To the Hashira Training - Feb 2nd 2024 Haikyu!! - The Dumpster Battle - Feb 16th 2024

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oneatlatime · 8 months

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Avatar Day

I'm back!

"A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar" That wasn't just chance, was it? Wanna bet that it also wasn't just chance that Zuko was near enough to see the beam of light?

HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE TO BE ASLEEP FOR A SPIDER TO SET UP SHOP IN YOUR MOUTH?!?!?

"What are you doing in my mouth" is a sentence so ripe for innuendo-isation that my brain tripped over itself trying to come up with a dirty way to spin it.

Love the boundary talk too. I had no idea that kind of therapy speak was around in the early 2000s.

There has got to be a more efficient way of stopping someone who can canonically fly than pulling down a whole ass tree vaguely in their path. And how strong are these rhino things?

Did that mask guy just try to bomb a child?

Tee Hee. A Pee Pee.

Boomerang has to come back though. That what boomerangs do. I refuse to believe that boomerang is gone.

I guessed about halfway through season 1 that Zuko would have to go through some identity struggles in this show, but I was wrong! It's Sokka who gets to reevaluate his identity. Ponytail guy doesn't have the same ring to it.

Dingalings all over this episode.

I've been wondering why we weren't seeing more Avatar themed places and events. Granted, the avatar's been missing for a century, but in a world where there is recurring proof of a spiritually endowed god-like person's existence, I would expect more temples and Holy days. I mean, we can't even prove that any of our gods exist and we still commit to building megachurches. Imagine how easy it would be to fundraise to build a temple to an Avatar when there's the underlying threat that if you don't donate, the demigod in question could show up at your house.

Two things: first, there were some serious resources invested in these floats. Either this village is loaded or has priority problems. Second: Aang is now well enough known worldwide, that villages he's never been to can accurately depict his appearance, costume, and personality. It really never occurred to them to lay low, did it?

"That's the biggest me I've ever seen." I'm curious to know your sample size.

Sokka could totally carry a torch. It's the torch that wouldn't be worthy of the wielder.

That about sums up my reaction too.

Zuko's in this episode. Hi Zuko! I'd know that musical trill anywhere. When was the last time I saw Zuko?

So I know that Zuko's got a wisdom problem, but could he at least wait until after dark to rob people? While wearing a very recognisable costume that is prominently featured on its own Wanted poster? Just a little common sense I'm begging you.

So in character for it to be Katara who takes action first when Aang is insulted/has his effigy set on fire.

This guy is stupid right? Kyoshi was around at least, what - two hundred years ago? And there's been two avatars since, who as far as I can tell aren't Kyoshi reincarnated but are whole other people, and he's still blaming Aang for some rando's death?

Pro tip: anyone introduced with the expression "glorious leader" is invariably neither glorious nor a good leader. Good leaders don't need hyping up.

I was wondering if that little remark about water tribe money at the beginning of the episode was going to have a payoff. Every time I think it's simple worldbuilding, it turns out to be plot. This show is so neat.

The loss of boomerang is having unforseen effects on Sokka's mental state.

"I can't do that [save the world] with people thinking I'm a murderer either." Says Aang. "So what exactly do you think every earth kingdom and water tribe person assumes you're going to do to the Fire Lord?" Says I. To be clear, I don't want to watch a goofy 12 year old commit a war crime, but I guarantee that no one in the avatar world is under any illusions about any fire lord going quietly.

How does Aang know how do push the 'expert detective' button?

How long is Katara's arm?

Ok I'm guessing from Katara and Aang's reaction to the polar leopard boots story, that Aang knew that Sokka could be conned into helping with 'expert detective' talk, because Sokka has retold the polar leopard boots story 800 times.

Sokka understands the importance of looking the part! Hang on I got a gif for this.

Well-known top three rich person activity: money fondling.

Moneybags should have put those metal reinforcing struts on the roof too. He probably cheaped out.

Oh my GOD this is peak sibling energy. This is MY thing. No touch. ME DO. MINE. Yeah I know it's obvious to anyone with eyes but I'M THE ONE WHO GETS TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

Loving the bubble pipe.

HYBRID ANIMAL

NOT A DRILL

Rat Elephant?

Too late my man. The only person who didn't see that is Aangy.

Super nitpick time! Why did they build a defensive stockade when there are highly climbable cliffs 50 feet away and the fire nation have cliff-climbing tanks?

Funny how the mayor guy says "clear her name." Aang wants to clear his own name, the mayor wants to clears Kyoshi's. At least some people get that avatars are different people.

Last visit to Kyoshi was: -Harassing local wildlife -Misogyny -Crossdressing -Burning down the whole village -Harassing local wildlife again

What in that list inspired Suki to change the world/fight in the war?

Respect the props Katara.

I found the sane people is this village! You know what I love? When they're listing Aang's good points, being the Avatar comes FORTH. They get that he's more than his title.

I'm sorry but I cannot believe that this painting, which lives in a building without a door, is three hundred years old. Unless that thing is behind 15 layers of varnish or invisible glass, humidity would have destroyed it in the first decade.

Katara getting ragdolled got a big laugh from me. Plus the follow up pipe to the noggin. Gotta love a sibling slap fight!

With that model of justice it's no wonder the sane ones are in jail.

Sounds like someone was chasing butterflies when he should have been paying attention...

Zuko again. I'd forgotten he was in this episode.

"There is a simple honour in poverty" is a good-sounding line, but I'd believe it more if it wasn't coming from a former crown prince who, until like three weeks ago, never wanted for anything.

Can someone please make Zuko aware of the fact that honour as a concept exists outside of an avatar-capturing context?

In my experience, the hope you give to yourself when there's no hope left is less hope and more spite. Still works though.

Was all that talk about not touching Kyoshi's things just talk, or did the water tribe siblings have to steal this stuff?

YES Sokka is RIGHT stuff has POWER.

Did Koh steal their brains as well as their faces?

The village idiots fucked around, and now they're gonna find out! this is going to be good.

So Chin the conqueror was about as smart as the people of his village. He really thought he could take on the Avatar?

Good Lord avatars can move tectonic plates?

She's blowing a continent. She sailed a continent. Without a sail.

Tiny Momo.

Badadss lady speech aside, it's pretty funny that Kyoshi used her ability to manifest to be the opposite of helpful.

Just when I thought he couldn't possibly get more stupid, he sinks to an even lower level of dumbass. Zuko sucks all the common sense out of any room he enters; the only thing that's kept him alive this long is being in proximity to the world's wisest man as balance. So what does Zuko do? Rides off into the sunset WITHOUT Iroh. Dumbass. I give him two days before he dies in a freak foraging accident. Dumbass.

SERIOUSLY. DUMBASS.

Never thought I'd be happy to see these guys, but here I am.

Petty Aang! I've never seen petty Aang before. Boy contains multitudes.

Screw artifact preservation.

Three of these jokes in a single episode. This episode does rather feel as though it was written with the brakes off.

The lead rhino takes one look at Aang and is like "I'm not going to mess with that. Let's burn down some buildings instead." Let the record show, the lead rhino has more sense than Chin the Conqueror.

I knew it! Boomerang came back!

Raw dough. Uncooked dough. Their new snack is salmonella. "This is by far the worst town we've ever been to." Thanks to Sokka for the thesis statement.

Final Thoughts

This episode was hot nonsense! And I love nonsense, but it's too far when I find myself rooting FOR the rhinos. To be clear, I loved this episode's humour and especially the sibling dynamic between Sokka and Katara. I've literally had that exact conversation with siblings, usually about who gets to be the one to tell Mom about the spectacular awesome thing we saw that totally wasn't our fault and that we totally saw without going somewhere we shouldn't have.

But! The villagers? Stupid. We cut to Zuko? Heretofore unseen levels of Stupid. Even Iroh was being stupid. You do have to let children learn things for themselves and make their own mistakes, but in enemy territory? With a documented history of dumbass behaviour? And a propensity for dressing as a wanted criminal, while also being a different wanted fugitive while out of disguise? Mark my words; it's going to end stupid.

I loved the C plot with Sokka and identity. It's funny how it parallels/speedruns the journey Zuko's going to have to end up doing at some point (he'd BETTER), although probably not in a single episode with goofy props. If only teenage identity crises were as easily solved as a returned boomerang.

That scene with Kyoshi sure was something, huh? I actually rewound and watched it twice through before I tried to comment on it, because I was too enthralled to do anything but watch.

If all Avatars can do what Kyoshi can do, then Aang is: a) nowhere near as developed an Avatar as I've been assuming, and b) going to be really really scary one day. Not sure how I feel about Scary Aang. Although petty Aang was fun.

I love monster of the week episodes with low stakes and high humour, but this one was had so much stupid coming at me from so many directions that it did get a little annoying. Still, I'll rewatch it. That Kyoshi bit was delicious.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar day #avatar the last airbender

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heretherebedork · 7 months

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Here we are, almost at the finish line, and for the life of me I still don't get it. They are all messed up, confused, broken people. So... Why so much Top hate? I mean, even if we considered what he did cheating, since when is cheating a high crime in bl? That have been actual crimes committed by characters in this show and that's apparently fine. So why can't Top shake whatever image people assigned to him 9 episodes ago?

I dunno. Honestly, I like Top more now than I did at the start but I'm still not super attached.

Top is interesting but I feel like a lot of that interesting is being held back for some reason?

But I will be clear that a lot of BL fans absolutely consider cheating to the be the Pinnacle of Worst Things Possible in most shows and most relationships. Cheating has long, long been a high crime in BL and is the cause of like 90% of miscommunications in shows based on misunderstandings and assumptions of cheating.

But in the context of Only Friends? Top's biggest issue for me isn't the cheating, it's that he... has this air of trying to be perfect all the time in a way that doesn't work and I don't find that interesting, honestly?

He and Mew spent the first half of the show basically trying to act out their own little romcom of a BL that didn't really fit the energy everyone else was bringing or that I was expecting from the show. And I now struggle to see how Top fits into the world and into these relationships.

Top has spent most of the series sort of... outside of everyone else and not just as in the actual friend group. He's the addict who basically claims to instantly shake his addiction, he's traumatized but in a way that doesn't seem to affect him too badly (the scene of not wanting to take the sleeping pills anymore was good but I need more than that), he's a top tier guy who doesn't do serious relationships but he only has one ex we hear about or meet and Boeing is the best trash ever but I can see why you might not wanna pursue a longterm relationship with him.

My views on Top have changed but at the core I just don't find him to be a super interesting character. He has had good scenes (all my favorite scenes of his are with Boston and Sand) and I wish we'd gotten more of him with the other characters and less of him with Mew. He plays off everyone else so well in terms of being more fully realized as a character.

I dunno. I'm not invested in TopMew as a couple because I think they were presented and then proceeded in a way that doesn't fit with the vibes of anyone else but also in a way that feels... shallow.

I could not explain to you why Top loves Mew. I couldn't explain why Mew loves Top. Because their love just feels like it was written Because They're A Branded Pair Of Actors.

I am struggling to put more words into this.

But definitely part of it is that Top is written as a kind of foil for Ray as well but in order to fulfill that role he has to be what Ray isn't while also being what Ray is (just like Boeing and Mew) and that means he has to have the addiction and the trauma but he has to have gotten past them (like Boeing has morals and understands maturity but has gotten past that and gone right into being trash but trash with morals).

There's a lot that goes into what makes people dislike characters or find them to be ones that just aren't as engaging or interesting and I think the show did Top and Mew a bit dirty in the relationship development by having them both trying from the start because they started trying before they got to know each other and then the show kind of FFed their getting to know each other bit while showing us deeper moments with the other couples.

Or at least that's how it felt to me.

#asked and answered #only friends the series #i do like Top more now than i did #but i still find that the show isn't giving him the depth i want #and his scenes with sand and boston are better than any scene with mew so far #not his fault

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kays-dream · 1 month

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𝟎𝟒/𝟎𝟗/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

Sooo I'm currently on spring break and I feel like this is finally a good opportunity to break into a bunch of new good habits! Today I plan on setting some goals for myself and maybe telling you a bit about my day and stuff :)

I'll break this down into a couple sections...

𝙰𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚌 𝚐𝚘𝚊𝚕𝚜

During quarters 1-3 of the school year I was kind of out of it, I didn't really study or do much. I wasn't up to my own standards and I think that's because I didn't really set clear standards for myself. I feel if I start planning more and setting more goals I can have improved motivation and productivity that I've yet to experience. During this last quarter of the school year I want to actually be active in school and mentally, here's some goals I've set...

bring all my average grades up to at least A's (bio is killing me ;-;)

make quizlets for each class to prepare for finals !!

to start actively participating in class taking notes and finally raising my hand

to actually spend at least one day a week studying (a small start— but an impactful one :3)

𝙰𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚐𝚘𝚊𝚕𝚜

I've never really been an athletic person until now. My whole life I was never forced into sports or anything, I always wanted my mom to do something like that, but she never did, and with that I just grew up kind of lazy. At the age of 11 I picked up gymnastics but then stopped due to the pandemic, I didn't really train or anything so I didn't improve till I started taking classes again, I've been taking classes for around 2 years straight now but only recently I actually started taking gymnastics seriously, I've realized that I could be just as good as the girls I long to be like if I'd only put in the work and effort.

I didn't really realize how much I liked sports up until a couple weeks ago when I impulsively joined my schools track team out of boredom, I'm lowkey one of the worst on the team, but from the bottom you can only move upwards! Now I really want to take my sports seriously, I'm on my gymnastics pre-competitive team and I'm thinking about committing to their bronze team this fall, but I need to actually put in effort now, and I really need to improve at track. Here's my current goals that I'm aiming for...

to start stretching everyday

to run a mile everyday till I can reach a 5 minute mile easily

to get a 15 second 100m dash (guys I'm slow ik...)

to vault 6ft on pole vault

to regain my lost skills on bars (after my last gymnastics comp I keep getting overly anxious before doing legit the easiest skills on bars)

to train my core more

𝙷𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚜

My mental states been pretty messy recently, but I've been contemplating what's factoring into it and I'm come to the conclusion that my habits need to improve, they've been negatively effecting me for too long, now it's time I implement good habits. I always procrastinate, I think but never do, my rooms a mess which ='s my brain being a mess. I need to get myself together by cleaning and starting new good habits, some of these habits include...

working out and stretching everyday (as mentioned before!)

making sure to do my skincare every morning and every night (recently I've finally invested in some new skincare products and this is really a helpful habit both physically and mentally for me)

cleaning my room and keeping it clean

having me time (whether it be reading a book or playing a lil video game by myself, I feel like as an extrovert I literally force myself to be around or on call with people 24/7 and I think I need to start having time to reflect and be just Kay for a minute)

𝚁𝚎𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚢

(my version)

I feel like my whole life I've been terrified of rejection, I've let it get a hold of me. Sometimes I miss out on really good things, since I'm too anxious of the possibility of an unhappy outcome. I think what really made me wanna start rejection therapy is that a week or so ago I applied for this really cool looking job at a creative workshop and got rejected due to my word choice and not diving deep enough into my experiences within the application, it really upset me. I finally put myself out there and I got rejected. Rejection is really scary, I've confessed to like 3 people and gotten rejected 2/3 times... I feel as though I need to prove to myself that rejection isn't that bad, if it's meant to be it'll be, and if it doesn't that is perfectly fine. To combat this fear and disappointment rejection gives me I'm going to put myself out there more. Who knows, maybe good will come out of this too :) I'm gonna start... (these aren't really 100% rejection but I think they'll help me be less scared of the possibility of rejection yk?)

applying for more jobs

signing up for more possible opportunities

entering more contests

trying to talk to more new people (I'm always terrified that they'll tell me to go away or that I'm annoying or something)

Anyways sorry for the yap fest!! I'll be updating on my goals every once in a while sooo stay tuned ig :)

#goals #high school #student life #student goals #student blog #school blog #athletic goals #motivation #motivating myself #planner #planning #studyblr #studying #education #yapping #professional yapper

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