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periprose · 1 year

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Arachnid Anxiety

You're Spider-Woman, and you've been tasked with babysitting Mayday. Maybe you have a bit of stress that you need to vent about, and Hobie comes along quite conveniently for that purpose.

Genre: Fluff, reader having anxiety, Hobie giving her advice, very cute, reader is a Jessica Drew variant, perhaps mutual pining if you squint, takes place during the movie but before Miles arrives to the Society, terrible british slang attempts (sorry Hobie :'))

Word Count: 2.4k

Babies are hard to wrangle when they’re crawling up walls.

Of course, Peter B. Parker said that he needs a nap, just this once, and he needs someone to watch over Mayday while he sneaks away into the sleeping pods in the Spider-Society-System. Sometimes he and MJ don’t get sleep for days at a time, so you get it.

But Mayday is so curious, and you find yourself having to pull her prying hands away before she inadvertently tampers with things around Miguel’s labs and causes either a mass outage or a explosion or Miguel’s wrath. You understand why Peter is a little exhausted.

She’s a very cute baby, though, and you can’t help but coo at her as she clambers off the wall into your arms.

“Who’s a good Spidey? Who’s gonna be the best of us?” You shake her up and down and she giggles, wrapping her arms around you.

You instinctively flinch, feeling your Spider-Sense go off.

“Large statement to make. But I see where you’re coming from.” Spider-Punk comes up from behind you, and you turn to him. “She’s definitely punk.”

“Hey, don’t go claiming someone else’s kid as one of your own.” You joke, and Hobie scowls as he pulls off his mask.

“Don’t believe in claims. Or labels, for that matter.” He scratches his hair, looking effortless as he ever does, and you roll your eyes. “She is… who she is. Forgive me for using a descriptive word, Spider-Woman.”

“I get it.” You hold Mayday as she squeals at the sight of Hobie, and she motions in an uppy-uppy motion. She wants to be held by him, but he ignores her.

You never quite know how to feel about Hobie Brown. The Amazing Spider-Punk is revolutionary, known for being better than just his words– he holds himself to the very essence of anarchy. He practices what he preaches.

But you can’t quite get a read on the guy. You don’t know if he’s pulling your leg– or taking the piss as he would say– when he gives his bouts of advice while somehow simply being amazing through it all. He somehow knows what to say but he also isn’t the most comforting, and that in itself makes you drawn to him. He just happens to be kind of rough around the edges, and it’s because of that you know he truly means what he says.

No sugar-coating, ever.

But you hate yourself, because you’ve somehow managed to fall for him.

It’s not uncommon for Spideys to fall for each other. Peter Parker and Cindy Moon, Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy. But you know this is the one time it just wouldn’t end well for you.

You can already hear Hobie’s comments if he ever found out. He’d probably rebuke you even though you’d never try anything. Tell you he doesn’t feel that way and you’re delusional for potentially thinking that he would ever tie himself down. Spiders are meant to be swinging free and all that.

Even worse, he just happens to be beautiful. You’re positive that if Hobie wasn’t so anti-everything he would have stuck with being a runway model. His face is molded in a distinctive way that has you trying to catch his glance, even if he only looks at you with nonchalance, completely unbothered, not a hint of chemistry in his eyes.

It is with great displeasure that you find yourself wanting his bored attention anyways.

And so you’ve been swallowing your crush for the greater part of a year now. You’re sure it will pass like all things do.

Pavitr, as much as you love him, has told you many times about the “chemistry” between you and Hobie– and you have told him every time to fuck off. Not in an actual harsh way, because again you can’t help but love the guy, but because you don’t need false hope.

You’re just Spider-Woman. Another red-and-yellow suited variant of Jessica Drew, you might as well just be another Peter Parker. You know that’s not how you’re supposed to think of yourself, but it’s just how it is. Canon events brought you here, and according to Miguel, it’s not something you chose– you just happened to be there at the right time and place. You’re no Jess, who comes in on her motorcycle, raging heat and excitement on her toes– you are one of the many, instead of being exceptional like the few.

You’re not like Hobie, who is as far as you know, one of a kind.

“What’s on your mind, Spider-Woman?” Hobie asks as he picks through random tech on the desk in Miguel’s lab, taking what he feels is useful for whatever it is he does with the stuff. He’s never used your name, because he doesn’t know it.

You and a few other Spider-People have chosen to stay anonymous, for different reasons, and only Miguel and Margo know who you really are. Hobie has told you before that that’s pretty cool– he only chose to give up his name because it was easier to get along with people that way. Hobie knows there’s power in people.

“Just babysitting. Obviously.” You motion to Mayday, who takes this moment to thwip out a web and swing away from you– but you’re faster and you grab her back into your arms, and she pouts.

“Nah, nah. I mean that sour expression upon your lovely little visage, imbecile.” He pokes your masked cheek, and you find yourself blushing but pulling away from him. Hobie is like that– overly familiar and no real sense of space because he doesn’t care.

“It’s not lovely.” You retort, fully convinced of it because he has never seen your face, only your incredulous expression through the eyes of your mask.

You think that Hobie is again being sarcastic about your unknown appearance, and because his back is facing yours as he searches through random shelves now, you don’t catch how his face frowns at your response.

“Disagreements about your anonymous-but-surely beautiful face aside– not that looks matter, mind you– you’re clearly miffed about something.” Hobie turns and crosses his arms, and it’s with a little embarrassment and comfort that you want his advice. Even if it’s kind of to do with him.

“Well, I guess, uh… lately I’ve just been feeling kind of down. Like what’s the point of all this?” You bite your lip, knowing Hobie’s feelings on nihilism. “I don’t mean like nothing in life matters, Hobie. I mean more that I don’t matt– I don’t… anyways, I feel useless. I don’t have anything special about me, I don’t really bring anything to the Spider-Society that wasn’t already brought.”

"Whoa whoa whoa. Nah, lady, you've got your priorities all twisted." Hobie pulls your arms, bringing you kind of closer to him, and rests his hands on your shoulders, making you listen. "This inner hatred stuff– that sick urge to feel shame and then blast it inside of yourself, all that repression, yeah? It's a crock of shit."

"Huh?" You and Mayday both peer up at him. You behind your mask, and she with her crocheted one.

Hobie picks up Mayday, finally giving into her wishes to be held by him, and she immediately giggles. There’s a subtle smile on his face that warms him to you a little.

"It might feel good in the moment. It might even feel revolutionary." Hobie scowls, and scratches his jaw. "It's worthless. Notice, Spider, I didn't call you worthless. The very action is garbage, a visceral thing that brings no productive value– that's what they want you to feel."

"Ah, because then I'll never fight against the establishment, right, Hobie? I'll be too busy fighting myself." You say mockingly, taking on a fake-pretentious-Cockney accent, mimicking him, but Hobie gives you a chill look and nods.

"Now you're getting it."

"Aw." You slump and slouch and sit on the counter full of gadgets and gizmos next to him. "I know you're right, but… don't you ever get people getting mad at you?"

"You've lost me."

"Like… being so responsible." You roll your eyes as Hobie snickers and whispers the spider-mantra you all know so well. "Or just living by your own ideology so… efficiently. It's almost like a slap in the face to the rest of us Spiders. We don’t know how to cope, and here comes along Spider-Punk with all his personal assurance that even if things aren't alright, he'll make it alright for himself."

"Oi, trust me, it wasn't all that easy." Hobie sniffs and sits down next to you, holding Mayday close and then letting her go as she crawls onto the wall in front of you. "You really think I haven't had a bad day? I haven’t had my moments of self doubt, huh?”

“Uh… well. When you put it like that, it does sound kind of crazy.” You admit, and nudge him with your shoulder. “I didn’t mean any harm, Hobie. I just feel so… inadequate.”

“Just stop.” He crosses his arms and closes his eyes, and you feel that yet again, he’s somewhat unreadable. “Don’t think those things. You’re not inadequate.”

“But I–”

“Stop.” He grasps your hands, and squeezes them tightly in his own, and you wonder if Hobie has ever looked this seriously at you, his eyes soft yet firm with affection.

You’re in trouble, you think. Your heart is pounding and you’re really glad he can’t see your face.

“I don’t think you know how important you are.” He utters so quietly, in that very deep voice that has you leaning in to hear him better. “You’re not nothing, Spider-Woman. You’ve done a lot of good for your Earth-257, I’m sure, and that makes you something special. Like the rest of us– you’re kind of irreplaceable, right?”

“I guess.”

“Not ‘I guess.’” Hobie punches the side of your arm and you pretend to say ow, laughing a little. “If you didn’t exist, we’d all be poorer for it. Peter couldn’t ask you to chill with his baby, and I couldn’t be here talking your ear off.”

“But I’m not– I don’t really compare to her, you know?” You say without thinking, and then immediately squint at your own stupidity.

“Who’s her?” Hobie is wary of how your expression is shifting. “Stacy?”

“Uh, no.” You inhale, exhale, and then decide it’s time to get it over with. “Jess.”

“Jess? Jessica Drew, huh?” Hobie smirks a little. “You don’t want to be adopted by her, do you?”

“More complicated than Gwen’s weird fantasy.” You shift on your spot on the counter, and pull off your mask after a minute of tribulations. “I’m… also Jessica Drew.”

You feel incredibly shy as Hobie takes in your face, wary of his every move as you feel yourself sweating, and he grasps your face gently, peering into your eyes and taking a look at your features, as if he’s really trying to remember them.

“Huh.”

“What is it?” You say a little too defensively, and he shrugs.

“You do have a lovely visage, you silly little sod. Even if it’s completely different from Jess’ face.” He laughs as you shove him away, covering your face in your hands. “No, don’t do that.”

He’s tracing your jaw, and he murmurs. “Maybe you could use a few piercings… a tat or two… ever thought about it?”

“No.” You shut your eyes. “I’m not cool like you.”

“Oh, shut it.” He leans in imperceptibly closer, and you blink, eyes open. Maybe Pavitr had a point that Hobie and you have something, because there’s not really another explanation for that look in his eyes. “You’re plenty cool, Jessica Drew. It was just a shit suggestion of mine.”

You think Hobart “Hobie” Brown is sweeter than you previously thought. You have half a mind to tell him about your feelings.

You and Hobie both look up, Spider-Senses tingling, and sure enough, Mayday is cooing from the ceiling– she leaps into your already waiting arms. She giggles at your expression.

Oh well, you think. There’ll be some other time to work up the courage to tell him.

Hobie half-smirks at her. “Way to interrupt us, Mayday.”

She looks at him all confused, tilting her head in a “huh?” motion, and you feel the same way, not entirely sure what Hobie meant by that and not willing to assume either.

He answers you by pulling your face in a sudden, swift motion, connecting his lips to yours, and in between the two of you, Mayday shrieks and laughs. She crawls off to the side of you, no longer smothered between your torsos.

Hobie is weirdly insistent– you feel like he’s been wanting to do this for a while, maybe longer than the length of your conversation (you don’t know if this is just a funny little fling for him, but you’re fairly sure it isn’t) and he’s a lot taller and lankier than you, so he really has to tower over you to reach your mouth better. He’s grasping your jaw and neck and the back of your head with a lot of intensity– you feel wildly dizzy when he pulls away.

“Uh.” Peter B. Parker is standing in front of you both, mouth wide open, and you look back at Hobie and he grins rather coolly, not really giving a damn. It’s enough to make you snort. “Wait, who are you?”

“Oh. Spider-Woman from Earth 257.” You remember Peter has never seen your face, either. “Jessica Drew?”

“Right, right.” Peter raises his hands in a whoop-de-doo motion, like he should’ve known that. “Nice to know what you look like behind the mask. Not nice to know that you’ve been avoiding your babysitting duties. Why are you two fooling around like prepubescent children? What happened to responsibility?”

“Ahhhhh, please, Peter. Live a little.” Hobie stands up, his full length of height drawing him to about the same height as Peter if not an inch taller. He picks up Mayday and hands her off to him. “Let’s not act as if you and MJ weren’t shacking up in the sleeping pods last week, yeah? Does Miguel need to know about how irresponsible you were?”

You think he’s kidding, but Peter pales and you clap your hands over your mouth, trying not to laugh. Miguel would absolutely throw a fit if he found that out.

“Uh…” Peter swallows. “At least that’s not an interdimensional tragedy-in-the-making like you two.”

“There’s no rules against that, I don’t think.” Hobie shrugs. “And if there are, fuck them. Miguel doesn’t know it all.”

“He really is punk to the very end.” Peter groans and leaves out to the hallway with Mayday.

Hobie flashes a smile at you as he sits back down, ruffling your hair.

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eternalxvenus · 3 months

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⇢ ˗ˏˋ broken promises pt. 2 ࿐ྂ

summary: Rafe promised to take you out and spend your birthday with you, but you don’t hear from him all day and then suddenly he shows up at your door trying to explain. (this is part 2 to the birthday girl angst blurb! i changed the title for the series so it was more appealing)

cw: mentions of drug use, angst, nothing crazy (yet lmao)

wc: 1.2k

notes: i'm excited to write this since its my first series! lmk if there's anything you guys would wanna see in future chapters :)

previous chapters: part 1

You wake up to your alarm droning on annoyingly and feel around aimlessly with your eyes closed to turn it off. Once you had finally woken up on your own accord, you realized you should talk to Rafe. You hadn't spoken to him or left your house the last few days. Obviously, you missed him, but you just felt so hurt and angry with him.

After getting ready and using makeup to look a little more alive and less blotchy from crying so much, you decided you'd go up to Tannyhill to try and talk to Rafe. You left your house, hopped on your bike, and started towards the estate. The whole ride there, you just kept going over what you wanted to say but nothing seemed right. Before you knew it, you were at the front entrance.

You walked inside and heard voices in the distance coming from upstairs. Once you made your way upstairs, you heard the voices more clearly coming from Rafe's room. It was Rafe and another person whose voice you couldn't pinpoint.

"Come on, man you gotta understand where I'm comin' from. I've just been stressed out. Nothing a good time won't fix."

You looked into the room and saw Rafe sitting with some guy you've never seen. There was a table in between them that had some rolled-up bills and coke sitting on it.

You walked inside the room, still unnoticed until you spoke. "Hey, Rafe."

Both of their heads snapped in your direction, and Rafe immediately shot up, walking towards you.

"Shit... I uh- I didn't know you were coming over." He looked back at the man who just sat there unbothered. "Barry, can you uh give us a minute..."

"So let me get this straight, you went to a party and got high, missed my entire birthday, and after I tell you I'm pissed off your next line of action is to get high again with your drug dealer, right?"

Before Rafe could speak, Barry grabbed his stuff and started walking out. "A'ight man hit me up when y'all are done dealing with this shit."

Rafe waited until he thought Barry was far enough before closing the door and speaking, "Can you blame me? I don't hear from you for days so I assumed you didn't wanna be with me anymore! I tried to talk to you and you straight up ignored me."

"I was angry Rafe! I just needed some time to myself. That doesn't mean I'm breaking up with you and it doesn't mean you should start doing drugs again when that is quite literally what we fought about."

This definitely wasn't how you imagined this conversation going. You didn't want to argue with him but your pride wasn't going to let you just back down.

"If you wanted space you could've told me," he sighed. "And I am sorry that I got high at that party and I'm sorry I missed your birthday okay? I want to make it up to you."

You walked over to the bed and sat down for a moment with your head in your hands. You loved Rafe, you really did. But you didn't want him falling into his old habits and lying to you about it.

You both sat there in silence as you thought about what you should do and what you should say.

"Rafe I... I think we should just take some time apart. Get our heads straight and figure out what we want-"

He walked over and sat next to you his eyes wide. "Baby I want you, I want to be with you."

"I wanna be with you too, Rafe, but I have conditions. I don't want you doing coke anymore. I don't like the person you are when you get like that. I know you get stressed and feel like it's your only option but you have me. Or maybe try weed and see how that works for you. I also don't want you hanging with Barry anymore. Non-negotiables."

He nods "I swear I'll work on it and I'll talk to Barry. I swear."

You stand up from the bed getting ready to go out the door. "Rafe... I'm gonna go stay with my parents on the mainland for a few days. I'll be in contact but please try your best to just leave me be. Get clean, for good, and I'll let you know when I'm back and we can figure everything out. Okay?"

He shakes his head. You can see that he's angry and confused, your heart just aches. "The mainland? What- why? Just stay here, I don't understand-"

"Please, Rafe. This is what we have to do okay?"

He took a few deep breaths and ran his hands through his hair. "Okay... okay. When you get back, I'll have made it up to you. Just promise me we aren't over."

You could see the tears that formed in his eyes and had to fight back your own. "We aren't over just yet." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving his room and heading home.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

You were finally off the ferry and on the mainland to stay with your parents. You really wanted to talk to your best friend to get advice so you asked her to pick you up. By the time you reached your house, she was all caught up. Your parents weren't home so you both went straight up to your childhood bedroom.

"Damn... I didn't think he got down like that." Niki looked at you slightly surprised. "Honestly though, it sounds like does care about you, even if he did fuck up."

"Yeah, I know he cares I just... I don't wanna have to worry about shit like this. Whenever he's all coked up he makes irrational and bad decisions. I'm just worried he'll do something and end up in jail or worse."

"You just have to let him know that. Make sure he knows your anger comes from a place of care. If he feels like you're just judging him, it'll probably piss him off."

You sigh and groan into your pillow. "You're right, thanks Niki."

"Don't mention it. Now, let me catch you up on the mainland gossip!" she squealed.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Niki had gone home and you were getting into bed, ready to sleep after what felt like an exceptionally long day, when your phone chimed. You looked and saw you had a text from Rafe.

Rafe: hey I just wanted to make sure you made it to the mainland safely.

You: yes I did, i'm at my parent's house, thanks for asking.

Rafe: of course, goodnight

You: goodnight

Placing your phone on the dresser, you're thankful he doesn't push the conversation further. You decide you'll only stay here for three days before going back to the island to figure things out with Rafe. You just hope he can work on staying clean and that you can go back to being together like normal.

As you closed your eyes, ready for sleep, you heard another chime from your phone. You groaned before picking it up to check.

Topper: hey we need to talk, it's about Rafe.

part 3

likes, comments, and blogs are greatly appreciated!

taglist: @readingsmuts @1aarii1 @bingbongbum @stargirlsturniololover @babygirl229 @poisonedsultana @rafescamshoe

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cupidseok · 6 months

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Hello! Can I request about how riize acts differently when with you? I'm not too sure how to phrase it but something like a part of them only you can see? Sorry, I hope this makes sense to you. Thank you :)

the different sides of riize that they only show when with you

WARNINGS slight mentions of insecurity

AUTHOR'S NOTE hope this is what you meant anon 😭 thank you for requesting !

☀️ — SHOTARO

his serious side. sunshine taro is always smiling and laughing at just about anything ! whether he's feeling awkward or uncomfortable, he'll just giggle and hope the moment passes by quickly. he doesn't like it when the mood gets heavy and no one is smiling. however, when you attempt to bring up a serious issue and shotaro just laughs it off, it makes you upset :( he immediately notices how your eyes start to tear up and he embraces you in his arms. hushed apologies continuously fall from his lips as he rubbed your back, softly reassuring you that he’ll listen to whatever you have to say. that night, the both of you talk about the things that has been bothering you both. shotaro then understands the need to be serious in relationships in order for it progress further and he really hopes to never hurt you again.

🪨 — EUNSEOK

his cute side. our seemingly emotionless and unbothered stone ! eunseok almost always has a blank expression plastered on his face, it’s just in his nature to do so. although he’s someone who’s independent and stable, he still needs love ( even if he doesn’t say so verbally because he’s embarrassed to admit it ). so when you don’t give him enough affection and attention, he gets sulky. “what do you want,” you questioned eunseok, your eyes still glued onto your phone screen intently. he’s tugging on the sleeve of your shirt, “look at me please,” he nearly whines. when you finally divert your eyes away from your phone screen, you’re met with large boba eyes begging for your love and affection <3 he would rather die than let the other members of riize find out that the cool and collected song eunseok has to act cute to get his girlfriend’s attention.

👿 — SUNGCHAN

his jealous side. sungchan is someone who is confident in himself, he is clear of his own strengths and weaknesses and he tries his very best to make up for his weaknesses. he’s aware he looks good and he’s also proud of his body ! however, when he sees you laughing so happily while catching up with your childhood sweetheart, he suddenly doesn’t feel very confident anymore. he feels jealous; he thinks that if you both had met eariler, he’d be your childhood sweetheart instead. when sungchan sees the man lean one more centimeter closer to you, he can’t contain his overflowing jealously anymore and speed walks towards the both of you. “hi babe,” his arms wrap around your waist tightly, “i was waiting for you. who’s this ? aren’t you going to introduce him to your boyfriend ?”

🔐 — WONBIN

his protective side. wonbin who loves you so much, wonbin who cannot stand being away from you for more than 3 working hours, wonbin who is so protective of you ! he just cares for you so much, he can’t stand the thought of you possibly getting hurt, so he needs to be by your side 24/7 to ensure you’re safe and sound ( which you always are when with wonbin ). he gets slightly anxious when you aren’t around him, because what if a zombie apocalypse occurs suddenly and he isn’t there to be your knight in shining armour !! “wonbin i think in a zombie apocalypse i’d be more likely to protect you. also, i’m just going to a party with my friends. please let go of me,” you try your best to pry wonbin’s hands off you but all of your attempts were futile. “but what if the zombies get to you before i do ?”

💝 — SEUNGHAN

his insecure side. hong seunghan is and always will be your #1 hype boy ! he’s your admirer, your fan, your enthusiast, your supporter and much much more. this boy never shut ups about you and sohee thinks that he knows you better than yourself at this point ( sohee gets the brunt of seunghan’s talks about you unfortunately or fortunately ). seunghan could write an entire trilogy ( each with more than 10000 pages ) about how much he loves you if he wanted to. but !! when you reciprocate his energy and compliment him back, he gets so shy and his face turns an adorable shade of red. “you look so handsome here !” you look up from scrolling though seunghan’s selfie album and he just shyly shakes his head. “no, you always look so much better, my love,” seunghan buries his face in the crook of your neck to hide his flustered state. “what are you talking about ? my boyfriend always looks so handsome, he’s the prettiest boy i know.”

🗝️ — SOHEE

his authentic side. sohee is not someone who reveals his true personality easily to others. one may think that they know sohee well until they delve deeper and realise that they actually don’t know much of him. he’s just good at concealing the parts of himself that he deems vulnerable and sensitive. with you, however, sohee always feels at ease, as he doesn’t feel like he has to put up a facade. with you, sohee knows that you’ll love and cherish every part of him, even the parts that he himself dislikes, you’ll love all the same. he finds solace and warmth in your nurturing nature and seeks for your love and understanding of the true sohee !

💭 — ANTON

his attentive side. anton can sometimes be random and voices out his weird thoughts for you both to ponder over, you often wonder what goes on in his head but you usually just leave him to it. he’s also someone who is rather soft-spoken, so at times, it’s hard to figure out what he’s feeling or thinking. however, anton often greets you with pleasant surprises in the form of gifts, little things that you’ve mentioned in passing like how you’ve lost one side of your earrings or how you’ve run out of milk. you’re also often shocked when he tells you about your habits that you’ve never noticed yourself. “huh ? i do that frequently ? really ?” confusion evident in your voice. “yep, i’ve seen you do that more than a thousand times.”

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lilliumrorum · 5 months

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What does he have that I don’t? (Part One)

<<Previous | Masterlist | Next>> Synopsis: After discovering your lover's affair with his best friend, you found yourself in emotional turmoil. Seeking comfort, you end up in your captains office for the second time that night.

WC: 2k

Content/Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Verbal abuse, Smut, Cheating, Unrequited love, Threesome is mentioned.

Notes: Sorry this took so long to post, I've been in school, at work or stoned so I didn't have the time. I do now and I'm back!

Betrayal, heartbreak, shock, and confusion are common reactions in such situations. However, this was definitely not just some situation. The head that was once thrown back in pleasure was now gawking at you, awaiting your reaction.

"[Name]..." Simon sighed.

How could he have expected you to respond? He shared intimacy with someone who understood him better than you ever did—the person he introduced you to just two weeks into your relationship. Johnny was his closest confidant, his right-hand man, the one he would willingly take a bullet for. You're not even sure he would even identify you on the battlefield.

"Sorry I barged in, I'll leave you to yourselves."

"Wait-"

Without granting him the opportunity to finish, you swiftly closed the door and slung the robust duffle bag over your shoulder.

You always had a feeling that he was attracted to Johnny, but didn't think he was aware. Simon wasn't one to express admiration openly, but he consistently praised Johnny as the best sergeant he had ever witnessed in action. You wished Simon would speak about you the way he talked about Johnny, but you never felt jealous. Now, you felt numb, the only sensation you feel is that of your knuckles turning white as you tightly grip your bag.

Wandering aimlessly, you had no idea where to go without a single friend nearby. Sure you had teammates, but you weren't close to any of them. You were genuinely alone, and it seemed even Simon didn't want you around (not that you were planning on going back tonight anyway). You couldn't comprehend how something so right could turn so wrong. Maybe it started when those morning kisses shifted to him leaving under the guise of going for a "run." The movie nights together evolved into you being isolated, reading a book in your dimly lit bedroom, with him conspicuously absent. Your bed was usually always empty, due to Simon's "workload", but there was going to be one less body tonight. It was no longer your bed.

"Really? Are you actually going to leave me when you've just come home?!"

Simon seemed unbothered by your tear soaked face.

"I don't always want to walk in and deal with your naggin'. Fuckin' Christ, I can't even go for a lap around the base with out your crazy ass losing your shit!" He lashed out.

A whimper left your lips.

"I just missed you, Si! I love you! It's not nagging if I tell you that I want to see you! Where is the man I fell for? Where did his love go? This is not you Simon! It's not fucking you!"

"I never fell. 'Si' does not exist. Simon doesn't fucking exist."

"So you never felt any of it? You've just been faking your way through this entire fucking relationship? Do you even want to try anymore? You don't even fucking care!"

He paused.

"How can I try to feel remorse for a love that was a lie? The only thing I even remotely enjoy about you is that after we fuck you leave me the hell alone and go to sleep." He spat at you coldly.

"Okay... well if Simon doesn't exist then whos been sleeping in my bed?! Who used to kiss my tears away? I want him back. All you ever do now is cause them."

"A ghost." his words dripping with malice as he slammed your door.

You were too caught up in the sadness of your relationship to realize you were crying or understand what was going on around you. The sadness caused something to decay in your heart. The thought of what you witnessed made you feel nauseous, so you tried to get your conscience off of the present matter. Your thoughts drifted to your captain, the only person you felt you could trust now. He had repeatedly mentioned his availability in his office, even beyond regular hours.

Captain Price was consistently kind. Despite the necessity of sternness in his role as a captain, his gaze was always gentle when directed towards you. As you started to notice the features of the building, a sense of lightness washed over you, as if all your problems faded away upon its sight. You observed a light flicker in response to the loud steps you took across the terrain. The door cracked open, and you saw his eyes start to crinkle when he noticed you.

"Things aren't goin' very well I reckon?" He smiled sympathetically.

"Not at all. I think things wont be going anywhere now. I have nowhere to go."

He cocked an eyebrow at your words, then turned to hold the door. John Price was a genuine gentleman, not someone pretending to be what they weren't, but the authentic, real deal. At times, you wished Simon could be more like him—kind yet firm, resembling an actual person.

"You can tell me about it once we get to my room." He shot you a soft, closed lip smile.

After reaching the stairs in the hall, both of you climbed them wearily. You could sense his gaze on you; he was studying your face. He could see that the whites of your eyes were visibly red from crying, and there was a faint trace of a tear on your cheek. He stopped examining your face as you reached his door. Once more, he held the door open for you as you entered.

"You can place your bag in the closet {name}, I know you've had a hard night."

You followed through, placing the oversized bag on his closet floor. He entered his bedroom with you, staying close in case you needed any assistance. Your face became heated for some reason as you found yourself in the bedroom with your captain. You hurriedly left his bedroom, while he followed slowly with fatigued movements. Upon reaching the living room, he sat down on the couch with a grunt, and you followed suit.

"Tell me all that happened after you left my office." He commanded.

Price was always very protective of you, intervening with Simon when he observed your distressing situation. When he witnessed Simon screaming at you for reaching for his hand, he nearly lost his mind. He couldn't bear the way his lieutenant treated you. Some part of you had always been drawn to your captain. His soft smile and sweet demeanor made you ponder what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. The only obstacle in your path was the age difference, and you were aware that if he ever found out, it would complicate things between you.

"I found him. I found him with someone..."

Your face told him it wasn't just someone.

"Do you know who?"

You nodded slowly, a tear rolling down your cheek. His eyes widened. Just as he was about to ask, you answered.

"Johnny."

His jaw dropped almost comically. He would never suspect Simon to be interested in men, and hearing that he was involved with Johnny just made the news ten times more shocking.

"How can I compare to his best friend? The one who understands him more than I ever will?" You sniffled.

"Sometimes a man does foolish things.."

You turned your gaze to John, anticipating the completion of his sentence. He looked lost in thought.

"But?"

"But nothing. What Lieutenant did was beyond foolish. I've seen the way he's treated you, dear. For the last several months, to be exact."

You stared at him with a questioning expression. If he had noticed, why hadn't he said anything?

"You have?"

A smile tugged at his lips.

"Everyone has, Sergeant. Why else would I be comfortable with you staying here?"

You huffed out a breath,

"If you knew then why didn't you tell me?"

John found himself at a loss for how to respond to your question. On one hand, his lieutenant demonstrated exceptional skills and garnered respect among comrades. On the other hand, you were hardworking, determined, and notably stealthy, often taking the lead in infiltrating enemy bases. Both of you held immense value to the 141, and he was reluctant to risk losing either of you.

"I'm caught in a position where I can't say anything, love."

Your heart fluttered at the nickname.

"Ah. I'm sorry John. I don't want to get you caught in this mess."

Another droplet fell onto your combat pants.

"You weren't the one who made it." He said as he placed his hand on your shoulder.

The pain of witnessing your partner with someone else lingered in your mind, and tears continued to stream down from your reddened eyes. Your cheeks noticeably swelled as you fought to contain your emotions. Did Simon ever truly exist?

Maybe he was right. Maybe the whole time he really did just want a reliable source of pleasure.

"Stop thinkin', love. How about you take a nice shower and change out of that uniform. There's no way in hell that that's comfortable."

With a sniffle and a nod of your head, you made your way to his front door and proceeded to undo your bulky military boots.

"John..."

"Yes Love?"

"Where is your bathroom?"

He huffed out a laugh and tilted his head, signaling for you to follow him. The sound of his laughter enveloped you in a warm, appreciated feeling. As he walked you down the hall, you found yourself imagining what it would be like to truly be loved. The thought crossed your mind that if only John were younger, maybe you could have felt that. You sighed at your thoughts, and he looked at you with a puzzled expression. He opened the door and held it for you once more.

"Make sure not to use all the hot water." He teased.

As you walked in, he left you to yourself. The room had a certain charm to it, although it was evident that a man lived there. It featured dim lighting, a burgundy rug, and a stylish shower that housed some kind of sauna tub beneath it. You couldn't help but doubt whether he had even had the chance to use it. Everything about it appeared brand new.

As you stripped yourself from your clothing, your mind began to wonder. What would've happened if you didn't leave. What would they have done? What would Simon have done?

For some reason, you found yourself fantasizing about them. You were still mad of course, but Imagining Simon feasting on your core as Soap sucked him off was so arousing. It was almost repulsive how vividly your fantasies stirred up that sensation within you. Running the tips of your fingers through Simon's messy blonde hair as his tongue conquered your cunt, looking up at you with those blown out brown eyes. God, Just the thought of it was making you clench.

You started the shower, feeling a sense of self-disgust. Here you were heart broken and now all you can think about is having a threesome.

You took a deep breath and increased the temperature, attempting to divert your attention from the unsettling thoughts in your mind.

He didn't know what to do with himself. You hadn't stomped back to the room like you usually do. You didn't have any friends nearby to stay with, and you couldn't have gone far.

He glanced at the clock in your living room. It had been almost four hours since you walked in on them.

Where the fuck could you be?

"What're yae so bloody mad about mate? It's not like it's the lass' fault." John said sarcastically.

Simon slammed his hands on the cheap coffee table in front of him as he stood.

"I fuckin' know that."

Johnny searched his eyes, attempting to discern any trace of emotion and understand what thoughts were running through his mind.

"I was kind've hopin' she would join in."

That piqued Simon's interest.

"Yae think it's a proper idea too, huh? I told yae I'm secretly a genius!" The Scot comically jumped as he spoke, adding a touch of humor to the situation.

Maybe Johnny was right. Maybe it was a good idea.

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #simon ghost riley #soapghost #john price x reader #john price

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livwritesstuff · 6 months

Text

i hit 100 followers while i was asleep (absolutely bananas imo but i’m so thrilled y’all are enjoying my steddie dads verse bc i’ve literally never had so much fun writing before) so here's a sneak peek of a wip featuring the Harrington fam

Eddie does not understand sports.

He may be approaching fifty years old and way past his old ways of rejecting every notion that doesn’t perfectly align with his own interests, but even after all these years, the wires in his brain simply cannot wrap themselves around sports no matter how hard he tries.

And he does try because, naturally, he has three daughters, Moe, Robbie, and Hazel, all of whom play sports.

To be clear – his kids can do literally anything they want, bar none.

He’s still in goddamn awe with the whole arrangement that is the life he lives every day – kids and a house and a job he loves and all that with Steve Harrington of all people. There’s no way Eddie would start fucking all that up by projecting his own weird quirks onto his children. He refuses to be the kind of parent that prevents their kids from doing anything just because they don't get it. If the girls want to play sports, they’re gonna play sports. Nothing wrong with that.

Still, sports are one of those things he takes the back seat and lets Steve hold the reins for, especially now that thirteen-year-old Moe is pretty deep into the whole basketball thing.

Steve understands the politics of the game, both on the court — like knowing which refs are gonna be biased towards which team and noting Moe’s play-time each game — and off. He schmoozes the coach, he’s friends with all the parents, all the things Moe, at thirteen, doesn’t even notice and Eddie, while aware of it, doesn’t understand. He still can barely follow the games themselves (and he goes to as many as he can, though he and Steve are outnumbered by one and with the prospect of the girls carting themselves around still a distant fantasy their schedule is insane so he can’t make them all). He does his best to follow his husband’s lead but Steve doesn’t always react to things the way Eddie thinks he will. He doesn’t bat an eye when a kid gets smacked in the face with a ball, nor at the impossibly loud thud when someone hits the deck (look — he gets the floor is hollow, but it is loud). He’s completely unbothered by the fit Moe throws every game whenever she’s inevitably benched for having an attitude with her opponents or her teammates or the coach or the ref or just about anybody who tries to get in her way.

As is what happened at Moe’s game yesterday.

Eddie hadn’t seen it — well, he’d seen it, but seeing something and understanding what he’s actually looking at are two totally different things. From what he gathers, Moe had missed an easy shot and gotten pissed off in her own little way about it, so she’d launched herself at whoever on the opposing team had gotten their hands on the ball after it ricocheted off the backboard. Unfortunately for Moe, the team they were playing had a reputation for being a little too aggressive for a middle school league, so when she’d hit the ground, she hit it hard. Moe had been pulled off the court by her coach (carded, maybe? Eddie still isn’t sure how that works in basketball) and scowled on the bench for the rest of the game.

Steve had tried to reason with her on the drive home (an interesting choice, in Eddie’s opinion).

“Darling,” he’d said, “I totally understand being upset about missing a layup, but I don’t know how to get it through your head that intentionally fouling someone isn’t the way to go about resolving that emotion. I love you and I support you, but I’m getting tired of watching you play for three minutes and then sit on the bench for the rest of the game.”

“Talk to the coach then,” Moe had grumbled.

“About what?” Steve exclaimed, “Moe — you do it on purpose!”

The conversation had ended not long later because Moe decided to give them both the silent treatment (a clear sign that she knew she was in the wrong even if she didn’t want to admit it) and Eddie thought that was the end of it (for that game, at least). Then, Moe threw them a curveball by spending most of that evening in the bathroom throwing up, at which point she admitted that her head had caught more of that fall during her basketball game than she’d originally let on.

Steve doesn’t mess around with head injuries (for obvious reasons), so the next morning he calls Moe out of school and brings her to their pediatrician to get checked out.

A couple hours after Robbie and Hazel boarded the school bus bound for their elementary school, Steve and Moe return home.

“So what's the verdict?” Ed asks as they enter the kitchen.

“She's concussed,” Steve announces.

“Like father, like daughter.”

“No sports, no bright lights, no reading, no school, no phone,” Steve says pointedly, and Moe only scowls harder. She’d been using the incident as a leveraging tactic in her crusade to get a phone. Not being able to play sports was a no-brainer; they’d all seen that one coming, so even as recently as this morning, she’d been claiming that she’ll “die of boredom without a phone,” while she recovers.

Even as recently as this morning, she’d been largely unsuccessful.

“Thirteen-year-old children do not need phones,” Steve had told her, “If someone wants to talk to you, they can call the house, and if it's urgent enough that it needs to be right now, you can get walkie talkies.”

“No one uses walkie talkies.”

“Your dad and I used walkie talkies all the time.”

“Uh, pretty sure it was just the one time, Steve,” Eddie pointed out.

“Yeah! And it worked out great!”

CONTINUE ON AO3

#did it work out great? or is steve's memory of 1986 a little fuzzy in 2014?#eddie is trying his best #basketball is very hard to follow if you don't know the game #as I have learned :/#steddie #liv’s steddie dads verse #steddie dads #steve harrington #eddie munson

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verinarin · 6 months

Note

HC about Dr ratio with a short lyney reader! (Can be fem or gn or male!! Ur choice)

Can u uh do smut if ur ok with it???

U can Decline this request if ur not comfortable, i understand!

Aaa I’m not going to decline since I need more Dr. Ratio brainrot >:)

Note that I can’t really think about like mini HC so I’m going to give you bite sized fics <3

18+ Cuffs, Fingering (gn reader!)

SFW

Dr. Ratio is a man of science, he’s rational so the idea of magic seems interesting to him. He knew these magic tricks of yours has logical explanation behind it so he would like to inspect it first hand

So from time to time he likes to watch you practice and give his own personal input, like today for example !

He came to visit you in your workshop, you were perfecting a new trick and you wouldn’t mind the criticism Ratio might have, it has always helped you improve your tricks

“If you angle the sword this way it’ll definitely let the audience figure out the secret behind it,” he whispers beside his your ear as he leans down, his face so close to your neck while his arms caged your frame against the coffin like construct of your upcoming magic trick

“Ahh it seems that I accidentally made the master magician turned red,” he chuckles before pressing a kiss on your cheek

NSFW

It’s a normal thing to have him drop by your workshop when he’s free, but he texted you that sadly he can’t come today due to an urgent meeting

It’s fine of course!, to be honest this new trick of yours is kind of complicated and you need someone to supervise you but Ratio isn’t here so might as well take it as a chance to test your skill !

It’s just an easy escape act, just uncuffing yourself with a pin but the kick is your hands are cuffed to your back whilst your body is strapped down into a desk that is also locked

So it’s a double lock situation, first the cuff and then the harness that locks your waist onto the tall desk, to give a helpless illusion, since you are quite short you’re going to look like you’re floating !

Everything was going smoothly until you accidentally dropped the pin you were going go use to uncuff yourself, ahh this is so embarrassing !

You knew that your sister would probably search for you after sometime since you always come home right on time, thank god that is only your sister that’s going to see you at this embarrassing state

You start to relax your muscles let you start to daydream waiting for your sister to come, after almost half an hour heard the door opens ah thank god she noticed you early on, your body is starting to go stiff !

“Ahh siss !, help me out over here I accidentally dropped the pin and now I can’t uncuff myself,” you whine as you swing your legs, ah you don’t want to see your sister face right now

You never heard a reply from her, just the sound of ominous steps getting closer and closer “Ah how embarrassing,”

Oh no….it’s Dr.Ratio

You felt his big hand resting on the harness that straps you down towards the desk, he rest his hand there as he leans towards your ears “It seems you need to practice more,”

“Dr. Ratio please don’t tease me, I’m dying from embarrassment here !,” you whine as you struggle to get myself

“How can’t I where you’re so adorably stupid,” he chuckles as he crouched to get the pin but he puts in on his pocket instead

“Why are you here anyways, you told me you couldn’t come,”

“I just finished my meeting quickly to meet a certain someone and it looks like I’m came in like a rather sticky situation huh ?,” he smirks as he caress your wrist

“Yup and you sir could be my saviour !,” you try to act like you’re perfectly fine, you’re not of course

He just chuckles at your frail attempt at being unbothered about the whole situation “What would I get in return as a token of your appreciation ?,”

“Anything you want?,” you reply, getting too uncomfortable at the suspense

He hold you waist as he presses his clothed erection against you, “Can it be you ?,” he whispers as he leans down beside your ear

“Y-yes just get me out of here,” you whine as you grind against him

“Well I want upfront payment first so….”

“Ratio…”

Oh god he’s going to do it while you’re restrained isn’t he-

With a swift move he slid your pants until your ankle, he crouches before your nether region, his fingers trace your clothed hole making it wet from mere friction, you reply with a whine and a pout he considers too cute

“Yes yes won’t tease anymore,” he huffs before dragging your underwear down and stick his finger at your wet hole

“So tight…” he whispers as he thrust it slowly

“Nghnnn,” you could only hold back your moans hoping it wouldn’t get attention from the outside

“You’re going to let me fuck you like this right?,” he stood up, his hand curving itself inside you while his other hand pulled your cuffed wrist

“Yes,”

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #dr ratio #dr ratio hsr #dr ratio x reader #dr ratio fluff #dr ratio smut #dr. ratio #dr. ratio x reader

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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months

Note

could you do asexual reader x Jason Todd headcanons?

I know this hdc won’t resonate for most in the ace community, cuz it’s a spectrum, but I hopes it at least resonates with some, even if it’s one person. That’s more enough for me. (Also sorry for the shit writing as usual)

Jason doesn’t mind that you’re asexual. You were still you at the end of the day, so he doesn’t understand why some people tend to make a big deal out of it.

It’s not like you being asexual was hurting anyone but he guessed that some people just harbour vast amounts of hate for things they don’t/refuse to understand bc they’ve been conditioned into thinking that it’s a bad thing.

Others are just cunts that Jason gladly beats the piss out of in your honour. (Acephobes plz die disrespectfully thanks)

He will not tolerate any sort of disrespect towards you and needless to say having a six foot something man who’s built like an absolute tank is enough to silence those types of people rather quickly.

He’s more then willing to do this for anyone that you knew who was ace, aro, or was in the LGBTQIA community in general, that he becomes a someone that a lot of them could come to when in need of help, or was just in need of a safe space.

He’s unbothered by it because as long as he’s helping someone in need, he’s more than willing to offer his shoulder for them to cry on.

(I just like the idea of Jason being a protector of LGBTQIA youths.)

After all he once took joy in beating the absolute piss out of a biphobe for Tim. Sure he may not have a great relationship with his siblings, but he’s not one to ignore when they’re being treated like shit for being who they were.

He respects your boundaries and will always ask whether or not it was okay for him to kiss you, to which you’d always have to tell him that it was more then okay for him to kiss you.

He understands that asexuality was a spectrum and would ask which part of the spectrum you were apart of, and acts in accordance to make sure that you’re more than comfortable in your relationship.

He’s always finding ways to constantly learn about asexuality and more. He’s even got a whole bookshelf dedicated to LGBTQIA history because he wants to better himself and do right by you and other people who look up to him to protect them. He takes that shit seriously.

He just loves you very much and wants you to feel as though you could tell him anything that’s bothering you and he’ll gladly bring you its head if you’d like just to prove it.

If you are okay with kisses and the like, be prepared to be swarmed by it at every possible opportunity with this teddy bear, for he will smother your face in kisses as he holds you against him, smiling upon hearing you laugh and poor attempts in pushing him away. It’s a highlight of his day because when you’re happy, he’s happy.

You don’t like sex? That’s okay! He’ll make you have Junk food dates with him where you stuff your faces either pizza with stuffed crust (you can eat it in reverse) and garlic bread and watch shitty movies as you cuddle on the couch.

You: you don’t think I’m broken?

Jason; no. Why, who’s told you that you were broken because it’s a bunch of bullshit. You’re the most important person in my life and I’d do just about anything for you, no matter how big or small it may seem because at the end of the day I want to see you happy. So listen to me sweetheart and listen good, you are not broken. You are perfection incarnate in my eyes, you are everything I could’ve hoped to have by my side for you’ve never judged me, so I don’t see why I should judge you for being your truest self. Thats a bit hypocritical don’t you think?

Jason: So don’t ever think you’re broken when you’re far from it, you are whole and you are more than enough. I don’t care if we have sex on occasion or not at all, your happiness is all I care about. I want you to be happy for the rest of our lives together because now I’ve got you I’m not letting you go. Ever. I couldn’t care less about anything else but when it concerns you, I’d move mountains to make things better for you. I love you chipmunk, please don’t ever feel like you’re broken when you’re so much more than that, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it.

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heartpascal · 11 months

Note

i think any sort of joel x overly sensitive reader would be so cool, platonic or romantic. like they've survived through the apocalypse and you'd expect them to have hardened up a little but they're still so easily brought to tears 👀 joel is like annoyed by it at first but starts to realize that he'd rather they be a bit sentimental than shut off and guarded like himself

break beneath the weight

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: joel struggles to deal with someone who isn’t as emotionally constipated as he is

▹— a/n: idk what i was doing with this. but. here!!! thank you for the req i apologise if it wasn’t exactly what you had in mind :’)

▹— warnings: mean joel, emotional reader, FEDRA lockup, corrupt guards, dare i say… comfort?, (not sure what else! lmk if i missed something) not proofread!

▹— taglist: (ALL) = @rhymingtree (PEDRO) = @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

masterlist

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Joel Miller knew from the moment he saw you that you weren’t made for life in the apocalypse. He could see it, clear as day, in the way you held yourself, in the way emotions played loudly across your face, in the way your fingers trembled around the blade in your grip.

Perhaps it was pity that led him to take you in, or the absence of his younger brother, who had always had a harder time keeping his emotions in check in comparison to his older brother. Whatever it might have been, he wasn’t sure it was a wise decision. In fact, if it hadn’t have been for Tess’s unexpected care for you, he might have kicked you to the curb already.

But instead, he found himself stuck with your presence. For whatever reason, which he couldn’t begin to understand, you had taken to clinging onto his side, following him wherever he went. Which included going on jobs during the day, and tearing up when he put his foot down after you tried to follow him to a deal.

It was irritating.

And while you had never openly burst into tears in front of him, it wasn’t like it was a secret when you went down the hall, shutting your door behind you.

Maybe, if he had met you before the outbreak, he wouldn’t have been so frustrated by you. Maybe, he could have been kinder to you, could have been the person you deserved. But the reality wasn’t going to fade any time soon, and Joel knew that. He just wanted you to realise it, too, before something happened that made you realise it.

But Joel had to realise that you had lived through this apocalypse just as he had. That you, too, had lost everything. The family you once had, the home you once lived in, and you couldn’t bear to lose yourself, too.

“No.” Joel said, before you had even had the chance for the question to leave your lips. He didn’t even glance in your direction, only continued packing the the bag in front of him. He glared at the bag as he spoke again, cutting you off as you opened your mouth to respond. “—What did I just say?” He asked, finally turning his head to look at you.

“You didn’t even give me the chance to—” You started, brows furrowed and throat tightening at his dismissal.

“—That’s right, I didn’t. So don’t start.” Joel reprimanded, tone flat as he turned back to his backpack. His brows were furrowed, expression practically made of stone, and you wondered, not for the first time, what he was thinking.

You frowned, “Joel.”

“Mind your tone.” Joel responded immediately, still unbothered by your persistence. He tried not to dwell on the fact that it was the same tone he used for Sarah, when she was younger than you are now, to remind her of her manners.

“Can’t you just listen to me?” You asked, practically begging him, which might have been dramatic, but you couldn’t help how desperation arose at his carelessness.

“No.” Joel said flatly, unimpressed by the emotion crowding your words. Dealing with your overly emotional nature was so low on his list of priorities, in fact, it wasn’t even on there. It was the very last thing he needed to do with himself, given the demanding nature of the deal he was headed to, courtesy of Tess’s orders.

It was frustrating for you, too, having to dampen your reactions when you were upset, just for his and Tess’s benefit. It was hard to be so alone in your emotions, to feel so isolated even when living with the only people you trusted.

They didn’t understand how you were still so capable of emotion, after everything that had happened. It left you vulnerable, which meant they were vulnerable. But you couldn’t help the way you felt, could you? Was it fair for them to ask you to numb yourself just to be more convenient?

All you were trying to do was ask to join Joel on his deal, ask him to show you the ropes. That was all. But he would never even hear you out, and it upset you. Why shouldn’t it? Joel and Tess may have taken you in if their own accord, but that didn’t mean that you wanted to remain completely unhelpful to them.

“Seriously, Joel, I’m just trying to—”

“How many times do I gotta tell you no before you’ll listen?” Joel huffed out, voice raised, as he whirled around to face you. It was instinctive, the way you flinched away from his almost-yelling. He stared at you with unreadable eyes, his expression changed from anger to something you didn’t recognise.

You bared your teeth at him, nose twitching with the effort of holding tears at bay. “Fine! Whatever.” You spat out, spinning around and storming down the hall, slamming the door behind you before you slumped down against it, hands covering your eyes, as if that could stop the inevitable. The tears fell regardless, the tight feeling in your chest making your throat ache. You just couldn’t understand him — you hadn’t even done anything.

There was no need for him to make you feel so… small. He didn’t need to dismiss you like that, and he certainly didn’t need to be so loud about it. Joel knew well enough by now that you were easily upset, a fact which seemed to be a great annoyance to him, which only made you more upset. You were trapped in one prolonged, vicious cycle with him.

The door to the apartment slammed shut only moments later, leaving you in the deadly silence that followed Joel’s exit, without his pottering around to provide any background noise. It made the ache in your throat worsen, and you sniffled, cursing yourself for your tears even as more fell down your cheeks.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Joel was ready to kill you, really.

He told you to stay inside, to hide in the apartment where there was the slightest semblance of safety, and this is what you do? You directly go against his word?

Now, he didn’t tell you why he wanted you to stay in, which he knows, may have been a big mistake, but really… was it so hard for you to just trust him? When had Joel ever done anything that wasn’t to ensure your safety? He told you to stay inside. That shouldn’t need a discussion, in his eyes. After all, he was the adult, you were the kid.

But instead, Joel had come home to an empty apartment, with no sign of your presence for the past hour, at least. And given the gunfire that had sounded just as Joel ascended the creaking steps with his equally aged knees, he knew that if you were out there, you were in danger.

He knows you’re not with Tess, either, because Tess was in another sector, closing a deal with another smuggling ring to bring them into the fold. She had left Joel with the responsibility of keeping you safe, and he had already been nervous the moment she had stepped out. After what happened the last time he was solely responsible for a kid, who could blame him?

Yet, Tess had silenced him with a “Get over yourself, Joel.” So what choice did he have? It was a reminder that Tess had lost just as much, and a reminder of how much better she was at coping.

If Tess got back, and you were still gone, what would he say? What could he say? She would be back by tomorrow evening, which meant Joel had a limited time to find you. Even worse, Joel had that sinking feeling that if he didn’t find you in that time, he never would. Which was something he couldn’t even consider.

He certainly wasn’t expecting to have to collect you from FEDRA custody, the very next morning, after searching all night for you. His time had been spent ducking into tunnels, speaking with contacts, avoiding FEDRA guards who were on patrol, and yet he caught wind of your presence in a facility just as the sun broke the horizon, reflecting the break of curfew.

When he walked in, approached the desk with a familiar FEDRA guard sat on the other side of it, he didn’t notice you immediately. But when he looked past the guard, into the crowded cage, he saw your tear-streaked face, staring at him with wide, glossy eyes.

“Miller,” The guard greeted, sending a grimy smile his way, eyes showing a spark of interest. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked distastefully, fingers splayed across the dirtied pad of paper in front of him.

Joel knew this guy — and he also knew that he preferred to deal with Tess. Unfortunately, she wasn’t here. But Joel had no qualms with convincing this guy to do what he wanted.

“Sorenson.” Joel grunted out, nodding his head. “Kid’s mine. Let ‘em out.” He demanded, crossing his arms as he stood casually in front of the desk. Joel glanced in your direction, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the way fresh tears were rolling down your face.

“Oh, is that so?” Sorenson asked, glancing back and meeting your eyes. He smiled, maliciously, before turning back to Joel. “What do I get, if I do?” He questioned, as if he was in any position to negotiate. Which, to be fair, he kind of was. Only because of your presence, which limited what Joel was willing to do, in the way of putting you in unnecessary danger.

Really, he was probably making a mistake revealing his hand. Claiming you as his. It was just ammunition for dirtbags like Sorenson to come at him with, to come at Tess with, but what choice was there? He couldn’t well let you rot in this cage, even if you did ignore what he told you, because who knew when FEDRA would let a kid like you out? They’d try to recruit you into one of their schools, if nobody came for you.

Joel sighed through his nose, clenching his hand into a fist and ignoring the way his skin stung with the motion, a reminder of the last guy who had gotten in Joel’s way. “I can give you the next two weeks, free of charge.” Joel relented, expression stony as he glanced between the guard and you, as you stood with your face pressed against the bars of your cage.

“Two weeks? C’mon, Miller, I’m doin’ you a favour, here! Help me out!” Sorenson said, voice low, but louder than ur should’ve been. He glanced nervously around as if somebody would come and snap him up, before setting his sights on Joel once again. “Your kid’s in a lotta trouble, man. Four weeks.”

“Three.” Joel replied, firm.

Sorenson tilted his head from side to side, before shuffling through his papers with a nod. He took out a stamp from the drawer at his side, and pressed it onto a piece of paper with your name written at the top. He stood up, making his way over to the cage with a heavy sigh, and counted through his keys until he finally found the correct one.

You practically leaped out of the cage, the moment the door was open, and you headed straight for Joel. He said nothing as you gripped onto him, only putting his arms by his sides as opposed to having them crossed in front of him.

“Three weeks, Miller. Don’t forget.” Sorenson said as Joel ushered you away, and Joel said nothing to him. But Sorenson had dirt on him now, so it wasn’t like he could go against the deal. Tess was going to lose her shit.

He said nothing to you, the whole way back to the apartment, instead choosing to stew in his anger as you clutched his arm, sniffling.

You flinched when the door shut behind you with a slam, letting Joel go and practically curling in on yourself. It wasn’t entirely your fault, you might have argued, if Joel didn’t look so angry. He didn’t tell you that he knew about a Firefly attack in FEDRA, if he had, you would’ve never gone out! You only wanted to go and trade for some new shoes with the cards you had been saving up.

“Joel, I’m— I’m sorry.” You finally said to him, when he was quiet for far too long, when picking at your fingernails wasn’t enough to distract you from his silence. Vaguely, you noticed that your fingers were still trembling when you stopped picking at them, likely from the leftover fear.

Joel scoffed, rifling through a drawer in the kitchen. What he was looking for, you had no idea, but it was distracting him from giving you that scathing look, so you were glad for it. “You’re sorry.” He muttered out, disbelieving. He shook his head, glaring at the drawer in front of him when he finally stopped rifling through it. “What’d I tell you?” He asked, glancing up at you, eyebrows raised.

“To stay in the apartment.” You murmured in response, feeling your eyes well up once more. It wasn’t your fault, not entirely. You couldn’t help the way your body responded to people being angry at you! It wasn’t exactly something you could control.

“To stay in the apartment.” Joel repeated, staring at you with wide eyes. He shook his head again, apparently exasperated by you. “And what’d you not do?” He questioned, staring accusingly at you by now, his hands resting on the counter in front of him.

“Stay in the apartment.” You repeated, frustration coating your words. You knew full well that you had made a mistake, so did he really have to do this? Did he have to rub it in your face? That he was right, as always, and you were wrong? “I said I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.”

Joel wipes a hand down his face, feeling his age like never before, and sighs at the distinctive tremble in your voice. You were going to start crying, any moment, Joel knew it. And it seemed, given your desire to get away from him as quickly as possible, that you knew it, too.

“I—I made a mistake. I should’ve listened to you, I know.” You continued on in response to his silence, to his exasperation. He didn’t know what to do with you. Raising a kid before the apocalypse was hard enough, but here you were, a kid he hadn’t raised, who he was trying to parent, nonetheless. He doesn’t remember it reaching this level of difficulty, before the outbreak. Maybe that was why.

Joel didn’t exactly understand you, and he had never really bothered to try. After all, his time was spent keeping you and Tess as safe as possible, providing for you as best as he could. He may not understand you, may not know the ins and outs of your mind, but he cared for you. He wasn’t your dad, not exactly, and he’s not sure you could ever be his kid, exactly, but it’s about as close as he thinks it’d ever get.

Joel looked back at you, softening the slightest bit. “You gonna start listenin’ to me, now?” He asked, though it wasn’t really a question. It was more of a you are.

You nodded, movements jerky but without an ounce of hesitation in them. He frowns at the sight, brows furrowed, and sighs once again. “Are you alright?” He asked, then, after everything else was out of the way. With the way your eyes immediately started brimming with tears at the question, he was leaning towards the answer being no.

He stepped around the counter after a moment, in front of you in mere seconds, and his hands on your shoulders ushered you towards his chest with certainty. You gripped his shirt tightly, holding on to any ounce of comfort as if it was the most you had ever been given, and he said nothing even as your tears wet the material.

“I was so scared, I—I didn’t know what was hap—happening.” You confided, and it was exactly how he knew you would be in that situation. It was exactly the reason he had told you to stay in. But still, he’s somewhat sure that you know that by now, so Joel just gripped you tighter, as if he could squeeze the remaining fear out of you.

“I know,” Joel murmured, another sigh leaving his lips, blowing into your hair just below where his chin was resting on your head as he practically curled around you, hiding you from the world. “It’s all alright, now.”

He was still annoyed at you, still irritated by the way you disregarded his direct instructions, and the way you’re so easily emotional, but this was more important. He knew that much. So, he’d hold you as long as he needed to, as long as you needed him to.

And when Tess returned later in the evening, brows quirked at the way you were sound asleep already, Joel’s only response was a tired sigh.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It’s late one night, when Joel comes to a realisation.

The sun had long-since disappeared into the horizon, and he and Tess had been asleep for at least a few hours when he woke up to movement in the next room over. It was concerning, because you were usually asleep long before either of them. So, why you were up, Joel had no idea.

Whatever the reason, though, he couldn’t imagine it would’ve been a good one.

Which is the reason he got up, waving Tess away when she stirred awake from his movement. She squinted at him, as if questioning what he was doing, but settled back down soon after. She’d had a long day on jobs, Joel knew, which was another factor contributing to him dealing with whatever was going on with you.

He knocked your door, shuffling it open after less than a moment, and froze when he saw you kneeling on the floor, frantically shoving things back into a space below a loose floorboard. Your expression was scrunched up, as if you were trying to physically hold in your emotions before Joel could be exposed to them.

“Hey, kiddo,” Joel said, hesitantly, “Everything alright?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed, and hand still holding onto the doorknob. He frowned when you nodded wildly, squinting past tears in your eyes to look over at him, to silently urge him to just go. Instead of obeying the silent request, Joel made his way inside after shutting the door until it was just ajar. “What’s all this?” He questioned, peering down into the gap in the floor.

Your lips were trembling, eyes downcast, and you didn’t respond, even as Joel took a seat on the edge of your mattress in front of you. It might have been the most closed off Joel had ever seen you. It was certainly the most effort you had put into hiding your emotions from him, and especially into hiding the cause of them. It was… concerning. Not like you, actually, and Joel found that, as much as your emotional nature irritated him, you being distant was much worse.

His eyes were stuck, for a moment, on a single photo amongst the things in the gap. There you were, far younger than you are now, stood with a gap-toothed smile, beside who Joel could only assume was your father. He had never asked what had happened to your family, and there had only been a handful of times where you had hinted at it. Still, he had never taken the bait, instead choosing to avoid dealing with your emotions.

Today, Joel decided, would be different.

He reached down, plucking the photo from the gap, not saying anything when your hand hovered as if to stop him. He quirked his brows as he studied the photo, glancing between the present-you and the past you, and found more than one similarity. In the photo, he could see the shine of emotion in your eye — happiness, back then. Now, however, the gloss over your eye was one of sadness, despair. Nostalgia, maybe, or even grief. Joel wasn’t the best at detecting emotions.

“This your old man?” He asked, tilting the photo, watching the way the glossy print of it caught the dim light in the room. Joel looked back at you, then, focusing on you properly for the first since grasping the picture, and he found you struggling to hold onto the control of your feelings. “It’s alright, kiddo,” Joel said softly, smiling as best as he could at you, as comforting as he could manage. It had been a long time since he had tried to comfort his child. “You can talk about him, if you’d like.”

You shook your head, rising to sit beside Joel on the lumpy mattress. You plucked the picture from his grasp, turning it over and looking at the faded handwriting on the other side. It was unmistakably the writing of a child — of you, Joel realised, but below it, faded until it was almost invisible, was a translation of whatever you had been trying to say.

“I miss him.” You said, instead of anything else. You thought, perhaps, that this was something Joel could relate to. That it was something he could share with you.

“I know,” Joel sighed, placing an arm around your shoulder, squeezing as gently as he could manage to. He wasn’t good with emotions, not anymore. Feelings weren’t a Joel Miller special, and he preferred it that was. He preferred not to linger in his pain, in everything he had ever suffered through. He didn’t want to feel it.

But you… you were something else. Something purer, than him, he thought. While you were quick to tears, easily scared or stunned, you also radiated a certain happiness. It had taken over the apartment, so much so that Joel couldn’t even remember the shade of grey it had looked before you started staying with them. No, with you here, everything seemed warmer. And Joel Miller wasn’t an emotional person, anymore, and he wasn’t sure he ever would be again, but you made him feel something. Even if it was just a bit of warmth in such a cold world.

Despite your tears, Joel thought that you might just be the strongest of all of you. After all, he didn’t possess the strength to face his emotions, not like you did. He couldn’t bring himself to feel. But if you could, if you could manage to retain some sort of happiness, if you could hold on to some of the happiness that came with these tragedy-tinged memories, why shouldn’t you? Why should he shame you for that? For being stronger than he is?

“I know.” Joel repeated, frowning down at the picture in your hand. Not for the first time, he wished that he had a picture of his Sarah. “I miss her, you know.” Joel told you, lightly, voice right. It was possibly the most you would ever get out of him, but as you looked up to him, teary eyed and aching heart, you knew it was enough for you. Even this slight glimpse into his feelings, it was enough.

“I know.” You responded, squeezing Joel in return, and you felt the way a slight smile lifted his cheeks at your gesture. “It’s going to be okay, right?” You asked, glancing back down to the other bits and bobs you had kept, all to remind you of what you had lost, of what you had had.

“I think,” Joel paused, shaking his head at himself after a moment, before he squeezed you tighter. “You’ll be just fine.”

#joel miller imagines #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller father figure #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x gn!reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller one shot #tlou imagine #tlou imagines #tlou one shot #tlou x reader #tlou x you #heartpascal writes

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erwinsvow · 2 months

Text

DOWN ON ME — RC.

rafe’s been watching you all night. you’ve been dancing with your girls, sipping an iced drink through a straw, laughing when it sloshes and spills, smiling while licking some of the liquid from your fingers.

he doesn’t know how long it’s actually been, since the pretty blue of your dress caught his eye earlier tonight. you’re still dancing, skin probably warm and flushed from the alcohol and the movement. you’re pressed in between two other girls, moving in a way that he really thinks you should stop doing before he loses whatever remains of his self-control. the hem of your dress swishes around your thighs, your hips with a mind of their own and not going unnoticed by any of the other idiots nearby you.

rafe’s stared a couple of them off already, gaze hyper-focusing on the overexcited boys until they get the message and walk away. you haven’t noticed, neither have your friends, that’s why you’re all still having so much fun, unbothered by anything else. it’s good. rafe wants to keep it that way, just minus a friend or two of yours.

rafe keeps watching, looking at the two girls with you motioning towards the bathroom. you shake your head, taking a drink of theirs into your hand to watch while they walk away and leave you by yourself. he must not be the only one watching, since another guy heads towards you the second your friends are out of sight. it’s some drunken idiot, he can tell already, and your eyes dart around as soon as he approaches you. your buzz is ruined, the guy getting close to you and asking you something that’s clearly making you uncomfortable, from the way your pretty face contorts and your body tries to move away in the crowd.

rafe was going to wait a moment, just hold on and see how you react, but he finds it hard to wait another second when the guy puts an arm on you to keep you from turning away. he pushes his way through the crowd, his beer abandoned on a table, to where you are.

it’s hard to hear anything over the bass and the music vibrating through the room, but you pick up on a few things. the cute guy you think might have been looking at you—or maybe one of your friends, you had sadly determined when he never came over—grabs the boy who won’t leave you alone by the arm.

“c’mon, get the fuck outta here. she’s not talkin’ to you.” your face overheats—he’s not asking, he’s demanding, and you hadn’t even asked for help. he must have just known, you think in a drunken state, surprisingly pleased.

“who the fuck are you? i can do what i want-” the boy tightens his grip on your wrist, and the stranger yanks him away from you further, your drinks falling and spilling onto the ground when he finally lets go of you.

you can’t hear the rest of the conversation, with the boy defending you standing in front, covering you completely. whatever he says works, since the other guy stalks away, muttering something under his breath. the boy who helped you, saved you—rafe, as you’d come to learn—spins around to grab him for whatever he’d said, but you place your hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention so he doesn’t follow him.

you don’t know what rafe might have done to that boy, but you know that you don’t wanna find out. if it came to a fight, rafe would win, and you seemed to understand that as much as the other boy had, who completely disappeared.

your dress is wet from where your vodka lemonade spilled, tinges of pink from your friend’s drink too. you thought your buzz had completely dissipated, but some of the rush comes back at the way rafe is looking at you. you stare up at him with big eyes, frozen in place for a few moments while the club and all the people continue around the two of you.

rafe picks up your wrist, turning your arm to observe a red mark from the other boy’s grip on you.

“he hurt you?” rafe says, leaning in close to speak into your ear, which makes an entire quiver run through your body, butterflies floating around in your stomach. your brain feels fuzzy. he pulls away to look at you and you shake your head. even if that boy had hurt you, you can’t feel anything but a tingly excitement in all your limbs. “good.”

“thank you. for helping me. you didn’t have to-”

“it’s nothin’. he was an asshole.” you nod in agreement. rafe looks down, raking in your tiny dress from up close. he takes the stained hem between his fingers, rubbing the fabric, barely brushing your skin. everything tenses in anticipation and your eyes flutter shut when he leans in again.. “let me get you another drink,” he says into your ear again. you nod again, following him away from the crowd and towards the bar.

everything’s quieter away from the speakers, and you can feel your heart thudding in your chest despite putting some distance between yourself and the bass.

“what’d you drinkin’?” rafe asks, and you stare up at him, silent. the two of you stay like that for a moment before he laughs. “asked you a question, kid.”

“oh. sorry. what was that?”

he turns to the bartender and while you keep staring, lips parting and having trouble catching your breath. your friends are long forgotten, the drink you were meant to be holding on to a memory of the past. rafe hands you a cup of ice water, and takes a swig of his beer while you take a long drink.

“thank you. sorry about that.” rafe shrugs apathetically.

“not your fault. your friends shouldn’t have left.”

“oh, but i-” he looks down at you and your sentence dies on your tongue. “you’re right.”

“can’t just leave you alone like that. these guys are animals. gotta be careful, right? keep you safe.” you nod. you think you should hesitate, but there still must be a little tipsiness left in you.

“will you? keep me safe?”

“yeah kid. already did.” your face feels warmer still, burning to the touch.

“thank you, rafe.”

“want me to drop you home?” you shake your head.

“do you want to dance with me?”

you end up following rafe by the hand back to the dance floor, your water and his beer left on the counter. with your hands around his neck, you go back to dancing how you were before, but it’s completely different—your heart racing, the feel of rafe’s hands on your hips making your brain go hay-wire. down on me blares loudly from the speakers, while rafe spins you around so your back is pressed against him. you keep dancing, inhibitions a little more gone, wondering if you’re being far too forward.

that thought goes away when rafe grips your jaw in his hand and brings himself down into a kiss, lips pressing together while you keep swaying your hips. rafe pulls way finally, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then your ear, talking softly to you in a way that made your panties feel uncomfortably wet.

“stop. or we’re gonna have a problem.” you giggle against him, feeling him laugh against your skin. you don’t stop, nor do you want to, but you’re forced to, with a pull on your arm from your friend, claiming the uber was here. you get pulled away from rafe without much of a choice, waving goodbye before you can even get him anything—one last kiss, your phone number, another thank you.

you get in the car upset—trying to explain that you were actually hitting it off with someone for the first time. your mind goes blank trying to explain what rafe was like, so you shut up. the incident seems too intimate to share, like it should just be for the two of you.

you wonder how you’ll find him again while rafe gets in his truck, following your uber home.

#i hope everyone likes! wrote it fast but rlly do like it a lot <3 #part 2 soon!#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader

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five-bi-five-mind · 3 months

Text

Instead

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader

Genre: Angst-ish, Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Words: 9.4k+

Summary: JJ had been in love with you from the very moment she met you. The only problem is, you've been with someone else this whole time. Not only that, but he treats you like shit and you keep running back to him. Is there more to it than she knows or do you truly love him the way she wished you loved her?

Warnings: Mentions of stalking, cheating, and unhealthy relationships. Smut, fingering (r receiving), marking (r receiving), top!JJ, bottom!r, smut with a lot of feelings okay

A/N: I was really into this concept and then I really wasn't... but it's finished and now I can move on to other fics. Hope y'all enjoy it though!

(gif not mine, credit to greencways)

This happened way too often, but JJ was there every single time. She knew the signs, knew what was going on. You didn’t have to say a word and she would immediately understand what was going on with you. It was the look in your eyes, even when you smiled. Those eyes always said the opposite of whatever you tried to tell her. Or even what you tried to tell yourself.

He was always bad for you, from the moment JJ met him, she knew he wasn’t ever going to be what you deserved. And, boy, was she completely right. She lost count of the amount of times she would catch you bawling your eyes out over something stupid he said or did. You’d often try to appear unbothered, but the minute she would approach you and ask if you were okay, you’d utterly fall apart. And every single time, she would open her arms for you to fall into. She would stroke your hair and wipe your tears and tell you all about how he’s not good enough for you and that you deserve someone who would never treat you nearly as bad as he did. There was always the silent sentence she never said, though. The one that ends with something along the lines of someone like me or I would never treat you that way. But she always held her tongue, feeling selfish everytime she was tempted to say it.

Without fail, whenever there was a fight, your horrible boyfriend would come back with some excuse, some way of apologizing, and you’d rip yourself from her arms and fall right back into his. Not that you even knew that JJ wanted you to stay in her arms, but it still hurt like hell every single time. She tried to tell herself for a while that it hurt so much because she knew he would hurt you so much. You were her closest friend, so of course it was just that she cared deeply for you like a friend should. Right? That lie only lasted so long. A year went by and she was stuck with this horrible crushing feeling in her chest. Finally, JJ couldn’t deny it at all anymore. It was incredibly obvious to everyone except for you, it seemed, that she was completely in love with you.

So then she went through these phases each time you took him back. It would start with the painful feeling of rejection, even if you were completely unaware that you were rejecting her. Then she would get angry. Go, be in love, JJ would think, I don’t care. But that was a complete lie, because she would remember all the times you’d smile at her. Really smile. A smile she swore you’d never give that man. She saw the two of you together, she saw the forced smile you gave him in the rare moments he’d hold your hand, kiss your cheek, and be a semi-decent partner. It’s what confused her the most about this situation. It also, unfortunately, gave her this false sense of hope that maybe you didn’t feel the way you said you felt.

But then again, why did you fall apart every time he left? Why did you run back into his arms every time he came back? JJ found herself laying awake in bed at night way too often, just mulling over these questions for hours. She didn’t get her answer, but this time… This time was the last straw.

She knew what was going on within seconds of seeing your face. It was the way your eyes were just slightly puffy and how you’d let out a small sigh before throwing on a forced smile. To your credit, you were really good at selling that smile, but JJ just knew. You walked around the office, your eyes never really focusing on any one thing. Your mind was obviously elsewhere than whatever task was at hand. The team didn’t seem to pay much mind, too busy closing up a case, while you did your own duties alone in your little corner of the BAU. JJ knew exactly what all of this meant and she felt herself get angry this time. It was a new feeling for her; a break in the routine. She usually was just concerned for you and angry at him, but this time it was just the whole situation.

So, when she got you alone in her office, the back and forth was a little different. It started out the same, though. You did that avoidance thing. The thing where you gave her a pained smile and swore up and down you were fine, while she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. JJ wasn’t buying it at all. She never did.

“Really,” you sighed, “I don’t want to get into it.”

“Of course you don’t.” JJ rolled her eyes and your own widened. She had never been even remotely snappy with you. “Because it's probably the same shit it always is. God,” she scoffed, “Why do you let him jerk you around like this?”

You stood there, your eyes filled with disbelief, and you both just stared. If JJ were being honest, she wasn’t proud of that. She was a little shocked all of it came out of her mouth and even more shocked at how harsh her tone was.

“You don’t get it.” Your tone wasn’t exactly harsh like JJ’s, but she could tell she struck a nerve.

“What’s there to get?” JJ threw her hands up, obviously letting her frustration boil over. She got this far, might as well keep pushing. Did JJ think it was a good idea? No, maybe not, but she wanted you to finally get a grip on the reality of this relationship. It was clearly not good for you. “He’s not reliable. He doesn't consider your feelings. He clearly hurts you every single time he goes off and fucks up. And god, he has fucked up so often.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your tone was a warning. “You don’t know everything.”

“What then?” JJ knew she was pressing. She knew she was pissing you off, but frankly she didn’t care. She couldn’t watch you fall apart again only to go back to the very person who kept mistreating you. She couldn’t handle you choosing him again instead of her. “Jesus, what is his hold on you? Why do you let him treat you like shit? You run back to him every damn time too! It’s— fuck, it’s ridiculous! Why don’t you have more self worth when it comes to him?”

You definitely did not look pleased right now. Your face was twisted into a tight lipped frown and JJ didn’t think she’s ever seen you look at her like that. Her eyes flicked down to your hands and saw the way they were balled into fists, before looking back up, finally into your eyes. That’s when the anger fled her body and was immediately placed with crushing guilt. Your face told her you were pissed, but your eyes… Always those god damn eyes of yours. They were so expressive and JJ could read them better than anyone. She saw, hidden behind this anger, the pain and, to her confusion, the fear.

An uncomfortable tension filled the room and finally you took a slow, deep breath. Your eyes closed for a minute and JJ noticed the way your hands squeezed for a second before you relaxed them. When your eyes reopened and met hers, she realized you were trying to calm yourself down. It was like you had that routine down, like it was a factory reset of your own emotions, and she wondered how often you had to do that. Her gut twisted when she realized you needed to because of her.

“I said I was fine,” you said in the most monotone voice. “So, if you don’t need anything else, I have files I need to get back to.”

JJ’s jaw clenched as she realized that you, for the first time, were shutting down in front of her— because of her. She gave a short nod and turned her eyes to the floor as you walked right out of her office.

Fuck, she thought. JJ had fucked up with you. She pushed when you warned her not to and now she has some apologizing to do. Then again, she still was curious about the look in your eyes. What exactly weren’t you telling her? You said she didn’t know everything, so what else was there? Something told JJ whatever it was would just make her even more angry about this whole situation.

———————————-

This might look bad. That’s what JJ was worried about as she stood in front of your door with a bag full of takeout boxes of your favorite foods. It might look like she was pushing, and she absolutely was. That was her goal anyways. She needed to know whatever it was you weren’t telling her.

It took a couple of minutes of pacing in front of your door before she finally took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and knocked. Her grip tightened on the bag of food, and she took a few more slow breathes as she waited for you to answer.

Thank god you lived alone. For whatever reason the two of you had never moved in together and as far as she knew, you had no intentions of doing that. That was something at least. That you understood a little that if he treated you so badly when you spent time together, living with him 24/7 would make your situation even worse.

JJ’s foot tapped on the ground as she waited outside your apartment. She couldn’t hear if you were coming to the door or not, but she knew you were home. When you finally did rip the door open, there was absolutely no surprise in your eyes when you saw that it was her on the other side. Was she really that predictable? JJ fully understood that to everyone else who knew about her feelings for you, it looked like she was some lovesick puppy, following you around until you finally opened your eyes. The fact that you weren’t surprised she was standing at your door stung a little.

“I came bearing gifts.” JJ held up the bag of food. “And to apologize. Can I come in?”

You didn’t reply, but you didn’t have to. All you did was step out of the way so she could enter and she knew all was forgiven.

JJ knew your apartment well at this point. There were too many nights she spent just sitting next to you in your living room, sleeping next to you on your bed, taking in everything about your space that felt very you. Of course, all of this time she spent there with you, you were none the wiser about the fact that it made her heart go crazy. How could you know that sharing a bed made her ache to reach out for you? Or know that spending so much time in your personal space felt almost like a domestic bliss JJ so badly wanted to share with you? You had no idea and it tugged at her heart in the most uncomfortable way each time.

She knew your apartment so well that, as she walked into the kitchen, she didn’t even wait for you to get anything. JJ already started rummaging through your cabinets for plates and your drawers for silverware, knowing exactly where to find them. You just stood back and watched as JJ plated the food, never saying a word. Not a lot of things unsettled JJ, but your silence was always one of them. When you were silent, it meant you were really hurting or stressed. She could imagine, right now you might be feeling both or— she thought back to that look of fear in your eyes— perhaps it meant something worse? Was your mind preoccupied with something scaring you?

“So…” JJ broke the silence herself, handing you the plate as she spoke. “I stopped by that place you like on 4th street.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the plate and turning to go to your couch. She followed after you. You owned a dining table. Granted, it was small, but plenty of room for you two and all the food JJ over-ordered. But JJ liked to think you chose to sit on the couch and eat there because of how close you two could be. Hopeful thinking again, she realized that, but damn… she had it bad.

“Listen,” JJ started as she sat down next to you. “I’m sorry about my outburst today.” She paused for a moment, reading your face. Your expression was neutral, but she knew you were listening and receptive. You were always so kind, too kind for your boyfriend, so she wasn’t worried you would be angry for long. “I just hate seeing when you hurt. And I worry that you’re not okay… That something is really bothering you.”

“I’m fine,” you said in a very unconvincing tone as you absentmindedly pushed your food around on the plate.

“You say that but…” JJ trailed off and didn’t continue that thought when she saw the warning glance you gave her. She dropped it for a moment, but she was going to bring it back up. Just not yet.

As you both ate, conversation turned to unimportant things. It was obvious that you were both avoiding the pressing subject— your shitty boyfriend. Or maybe ex-boyfriend if JJ was lucky this time. When you two were done JJ took both your plates without waiting for you to get up and made her way to the kitchen. She was entirely too aware of the way your eyes stayed glued to her as she washed the dishes, dried them, and put them back in their rightful place.

You would do that sometimes. Just stare at her when you thought she wasn’t looking or wasn’t aware. But she always knew. JJ was always aware of you, even if you weren’t aware of her. It was like she had finely tuned herself to notice every little thing about you, whether she meant to or not. She just had to be and at first she didn’t understand why. Then, when she realized it was because she was in love with you, it all made sense. It was blatantly obvious that the man you kept running back to wasn’t taking care of you in the slightest, so JJ did it instead. Deep down, she hoped you would notice; hoped you would understand that she would treat you better than he ever would. But it’s been a year of her pining and your constant heartbreak and still things between you and JJ haven’t changed.

When she was done with everything she sat down next to you again and, to her relief, you scooted closer. Her eyes studied you and she wondered if now was the time to press again. However, this time she was going to be more gentle.

“Listen,” she started. “I know it’s a touchy subject, but I really want to talk about-”

“Can we just not please?” Your eyes left hers and she watched the way your body shifted uncomfortably on the couch. At least you didn’t scoot away from her. That was one small relief for JJ.

“I think we need to.” JJ was trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible this time. Patience, she must have patience with you. Clearly, there were some details she was unaware of. You hinted at as much, anyway. “I just don’t understand why this keeps happening. You do know you deserve far better than him right? That you don’t deserve all the pain he puts you through.”

You nodded slowly, your shoulders slumping as your eyes fell to your fidgeting hands. It was absolutely clear in that moment, to JJ, that you did know you deserved better. A spark of irritation filled her chest, but she tried to take a couple of deep breaths. She didn’t know the full story, she was trying to convince herself that maybe what you said next would be a good reason for why you still stayed.

“It’s complicated, JJ,” you breathed a shaky sigh. “I know he treats me like crap, but there’s a reason I stay. He takes care of me…”

“Are you sure about that?” JJ’s jaw clenched as she thought of all the times he’d fuck up. “Because it looks like he could care less about your feelings or your wellbeing for that matter.”

“No.” You shook your head hard. “No, not in that way. It’s…” Your eyes closed tightly and you took another deep breath. It was at that moment that something clicked for JJ. It was a face you made every once in a while when you brought your boyfriend around and he said something stupid. It was a look of shame that had washed over you and whatever irritation JJ had felt a moment ago was replaced with a feeling of worry. “It’s that with him around I feel… protected, I guess.”

“Protected?” JJ’s brows furrowed as she tried to understand. You worked at the BAU, so of course you saw some scary stuff. You weren’t one of the members who would go out in the field, sure, which meant you didn’t have all the training of an agent, but you had the basics. She didn’t think even for a second you’d be afraid of anything coming back on you from the job. It wasn’t like your face was even known to anyone involved in any one of the cases.

“Not– It’s not from the job,” you quickly corrected, reading exactly where JJ’s confusion was coming from. “I had this boyfriend back in undergrad. Things didn’t exactly end the way he wanted it to.”

JJ felt like her stomach was dropping as she watched you fidget even more. She knew, whatever you were about to say would tie everything together for her, but it still made her feel sick. The idea of you being scared of anyone made her feel unimaginably uncomfortable for you.

“Ever since, he’s just kind of been around,” you shut your eyes tight for a moment before continuing. “I could move and then, somehow, I’d just bump into him. He would always be there when I met someone new. He just– He hovers. He’s never hurt me, but then again I don’t ever want to let my guard down.”

“So with your boyfriend then…?” She was still trying to put the pieces together of where your current boyfriend fit in. It didn’t quite make sense that you would leave one shitty guy and then find another.

“My boyfriend scares him. It wasn’t always bad between us, not at the very beginning. He was protective and I felt safe. There was this one time when he caught on that we were being followed– He made this big show of how protective he was. Ever since then, I’ve felt a little less like I need to keep looking over my shoulder.”

JJ was nodding patiently as you explained. Suddenly, she understood just about everything. It wasn’t that you were so heartbroken that he was treating you so badly, that he would cheat on you, that he would disregard your feelings, it was that he provided something important for you. Something that helped you just exist without having to be terrified all the time. It made sense now to JJ. She knew how important it was to feel safe, to feel protected. It broke her heart that you thought you needed to put up with poor treatment just to be safe. Didn’t you know she could protect you so much better than your boyfriend ever could?

“Why are you just telling me this now?” JJ’s voice was gentle, barely a whisper. She felt like if she were to push anymore you’d break in front of her.

“I don’t know, I was ashamed. Maybe? But I know you’re tired of seeing me go through the same routine with him. He always does this thing where he’ll run off with someone else and I’ll be scared, but it’s not– I’m not scared of losing him, just of being alone. I was so tired of looking over my shoulder, but when he showed up it was better… He always comes back though. Always.”

It was like you were trying to convince yourself of that fact. The way you gulped right after you said that, your eyes looking anywhere but at JJ. You knew she could read you, that she could tell when you had doubts or were lying. JJ wondered if you really thought he would come back this time? She knew it might be selfish, after all the things you just told her, but she hoped he never would come back. If he made a show of protecting you to your stalker, then she could make a better one if she needed to.

“And if he doesn’t?” JJ knew this question was going to be a hard one for you to answer, but she needed you to see that he wasn’t the answer to your problem.

“He will.” You said that almost as if it were a bad thing. Or maybe JJ was reading into it.

“You don’t need him to,” JJ urged. Okay, so now maybe she was being a bit more selfish, but she also wanted you to know that even if he didn’t come back you’d be safe. JJ would protect you with her life, she thought you understood that already. Even if you didn’t know what feelings she had for you exactly, she thought you knew how important you were to her in general. “You don’t need his protection.”

You let out a bitter chuckle at that and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, okay,” you snorted. “JJ, I’m not a field agent like you. It’s not that easy for me to protect myself when I’ve only got the bare basics of self-defense down. By the time I have more skill in that, my ex will have already made an appearance or worse.”

“That’s not what I meant.” JJ was trying to give you the most determined look she could give you and you looked back at her, clearly confused.

Realization dawned on you as you understood what she was implying. “I can’t expect you to always be there.”

“I would.” She didn’t miss a beat. Her tone was almost pleading. “I’d protect you and– I don’t know, I can teach you to protect yourself in the meantime. Just–” She was getting desperate as she watched the way you shook your head in protest with every word she said. “Please, just let me. Please.”

“JJ, shh,” you cooed, your arms suddenly coming up to pull her into an embrace. For a moment, JJ felt pathetic. It was her job right now to console you, but here you were holding her and trying to calm her. She didn’t realize how upset she was about this whole situation. She hated that you were allowing yourself to be mistreated just so you could have some sense of protection from another bad relationship of your past. She hated that you felt scared at all, she never wanted you to feel that way. More than anything, she hated that you didn’t think she would protect you, that you even needed your horrible boyfriend in the first place, when she was right here practically screaming choose me, pick me!

“I’ll be okay,” you murmured, your hand running up and down her back in a way to comfort her. Only, instead it made her heart race. Her arms wrapped around you now, holding you close for a moment. “You don’t need to take this on, okay? I can handle this.”

It wasn’t like that for JJ. It wasn’t a burden for her to take on, it was something she’d do for the rest of her life happily if you let her. It was something that she already was doing, even if you weren’t aware of it. Whether you felt the same as her or not, she would protect you with her life for as long as you would have her around. She had to make you understand that.

So she pulled back a little from the embrace. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” she whispered as her eyes searched yours. You looked back at her with a soft, wistful gaze, but you let her continue. “Let me be here for you instead…” She trailed off and started to lean in. It was now or never, and her eyes closed just as yours widened. But still, you didn’t move, you didn’t pull away, clearly knowing exactly what JJ’s intentions were. Instead, you held perfectly still until finally, for the first time, JJ’s lips met yours.

The kiss was gentle and earth shattering all at the same time. JJ was scared you’d pull away, but you didn’t. Instead, your lips parted for a brief moment, a slow exhale fell from your lips onto hers and she shuttered. She expected you to pull back, but instead you waited and she kissed you again. When she kissed you this time, you instantly melted into her. It was like every nerve ending in JJ had finally woken up. The moment she had waited for so long was happening and it was better than she ever imagined it to be.

Her hands tightened around your waist and the small sound you let out, as you were pressed closer to her chest, made her heart skip a beat. Your hands were holding onto her for dear life. She could feel a slight tremble from your body, but when she thought she should pull away, you kissed her harder.

One of JJ’s hands left your waist, only to reach up and cup your cheek. You had never been kissed so lovingly, so deeply in your entire life. JJ, on her part, was trying to pour every ounce of love she’s ever had for you into the way she was kissing you. It was intoxicating for both of you. For a moment, everything melted away. There was no tension between you two, there was no shitty boyfriend that JJ was desperate to get you away from, there were no unspoken feelings that plagued JJ’s mind every waking minute. There was only you and her and this moment. A moment that meant everything to JJ.

But it was fleeting. Maybe JJ had pushed it a little too much. One second she was brushing her tongue lightly along your bottom lip, a small gasp escaping from you as she did. The next, you were pushing her back and she was blinking at you in confusion over the abrupt change.

“What are you doing?” You said breathlessly. Your eyes were shining and JJ realized they were rimmed with tears that had yet to fall. JJ was kicking herself. Obviously, she had rushed this way too much.

“I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have–”

“I don’t need you to do this, JJ,” you interrupted. “You don’t have to. Just because I’m scared of being alone doesn’t mean– you don’t have to make this sacrifice just so I can feel safe.”

“What?” JJ was trying as hard as she could to understand what you meant. Sacrifice what? Her own safety? Surely, that couldn’t be what you meant. JJ’s own job put her safety at risk constantly, so you had to understand that she wasn’t worried about that when it came to being with you. She would be safe and she’d keep you safe, it wasn’t a problem. So what were you talking about?

“I don’t want you to think you have to be with me in order to fix all my problems. That’s not fair to you. Or to us.” You were squeezing your eyes shut so tight as you spoke and JJ realized the hands still pressed to her shoulders were trembling even harder now.

“I don’t think that,” JJ put her hands over yours, trying to calm you. She was starting to understand now and her heart ached for you yet again. Of course, you’re so used to being treated badly that you didn’t even realize how genuine JJ was trying to be. “Just…” she let go of one of your hands to brush away a tear that had fallen down your cheek, “be with me instead.”

“Oh.” That was all you said. Things were clicking for you now too. The word instead rang through your ears and suddenly it all made sense. “Oh,” you repeated, this time with more shock in your voice. JJ was putting it all out there for you now and nerves were getting the best of her. But what would it look like if she backed out now? If she couldn’t handle the fear of being vulnerable in front of you, how could she show you that she could protect you from the things you feared most?

“JJ,” your voice was barely above a whisper, “Have you always had feelings for me?”

She swallowed hard. It was a question she knew was coming, but still, that didn’t make this moment any easier. If she was going to put herself out there, then she might as well bare it all. Yet, words escaped her. Her heart pounded in her chest so loud, she could hear its beat ringing through her ears. All she could manage was a nod.

You sat back a little and it looked like you got the wind kicked out of you. It was very clear to JJ now that you really had absolutely no clue about how she felt. In all fairness, that wasn’t a surprise for JJ. She was probably a little too good at keeping a poker face around you, even if she didn’t mean to. Although, with you, for so long she was terrified of you finding her out and losing you all together. She warred with herself for so long on telling you about her feelings, but the idea of ruining your friendship and losing you forever felt worse than never having you in the way that she wanted. But here it all was, out in the open.

“For how long?” Your question wasn’t harsh, just genuinely confused.

“I don’t know,” JJ admitted. “Maybe they’ve always been here. It took me a while to realize it, but then you…” She didn’t need to continue for you to understand. There was always your boyfriend, so JJ thought there was never a good time. It was your turn for your heart to break for her. All the instances where you’d question her actions, her looks that she shot your way, all of it hit you. The realization was shocking in some ways, but made complete sense in others. And, for the first time, you realized just how much it pained her to watch you stay with someone who treated you with very little disregard. You thought back now to all the times you had run back into his arms and all the times she was just forced to watch. The hurt that must’ve caused her, you couldn’t even begin to imagine.

“I had no idea,” you mumbled. But then again, maybe you did? In the entire time you knew her, she had one relationship. It was a relationship she was already in when the two of you met, and it lasted maybe three or four months after you’d gotten to know each other. When it ended, JJ didn’t say much about why, just that it was for the best. Now you understood; it was because of you. “Or… I think I didn’t. I– I don’t really know either.”

JJ’s eyes stayed on you. She could tell you were going in circles in your own mind, trying to better understand this new development. Guilt was washing over her as she realized she’d put something complicated onto you, on top of all the other complicated factors you had just told her you were juggling. The kiss was a mistake. JJ knew the timing was horrible, but would she take it back? Absolutely not. Not even when you were looking at her in a way that told her she was about to get her heart ripped out. Her whole body tensed as she waited for the rejection she thought was coming, but still you just… sat there and stared.

You kept opening your mouth for a second, seeming like you had something to say, but then backing out a moment later. JJ knew whatever you were going to say wasn’t going to be easy for either of you, but she also knew you definitely had something you wanted to get out. She didn’t say anything in response to you, she just kept waiting for you to resume talking. Part of her hoped that whatever you said, it would be a good thing. Another part of her, a bigger part, worried that you were struggling so much because you were trying to tell her she made you uncomfortable and you didn’t quite know how to best reject her. Little did you know, it didn’t matter how hard you were going to reject her. JJ was going to stay by your side. Now more than ever, she understood how important that was for you.

Still, the silence was getting deafening for JJ. You stopped trying to talk and just looked down at your lap. JJ was about to finally break it when you did eventually decide to look back up at her.

“I think,” you began, “Maybe, I need a little time to wrap my head around this.”

JJ nodded hard, her heart thudding in her chest. It wasn’t what she expected you to say. It wasn’t even necessarily a good thing, but it wasn’t a rejection. She’d settle for that. “Of course,” she rapidly replied. “I know, it’s a lot. Today was a lot.” She stood up for a moment, anxiously looking around the room, trying to figure out her next move. “I’ll– I can give you space for the night. I should– Yeah, I should go.”

When your shining eyes looked up at her, it was like JJ’s world stood still. You had such sadness in them, such exhaustion. It was hard for her to see when she knew she caused even the smallest portion of it. You didn’t deserve everything you were dealing with. And to deal with it in silence for so long? It crushed her that you were just telling her all of this now.

You didn’t say anything for a moment as you stared up at her. Your head nodded the slightest bit, but JJ saw it. “Just for tonight,” you said in the smallest voice. JJ gave you a pained smile, one that she hoped would read to you that she understood completely.

JJ did as she said and found herself back home in her empty apartment before she could even realize how she managed to get there. The minute she stepped out of your place, all throughout the drive, and even as she laid in bed there was only one thing on her mind. Would things be different if she had known sooner?

She fell asleep with what if scenarios running through her head. Ideas of the two of you being happy somewhere far away from anything you feared. Far away from the shitty boyfriend you thought you had to be stuck with.

———————————-

JJ wanted to give you all the space she could possibly give you, but it wasn’t that easy. Now that she knew what she knew, it was hard for her to take her eyes off you for even a second. Not that it wasn’t already hard for her to do so without the information she now had, but now there was an extra layer to it. She felt more protective than ever, but she also knew you needed some space from her to process. So, she was constantly internally debating with herself.

You had told her you wanted space just for the night, but then you didn’t really talk to her the next day or the next or even the rest of the week after that. She kept her eye on you still, even if your eyes would never meet hers or you’d shift and squirm when she was near. It was killing her inside. A lot sooner than was probably healthy, a horrible thought popped into JJ’s head that had her spiraling. What if she had messed everything up? What if she ruined her friendship with you because she brought up her feelings?

The kiss kept replaying in JJ’s mind though, and she swore up and down that you kissed her back that night. Yes, you were the one to pull away, but before then, it felt like everything JJ was trying to give, you wanted to reciprocate. Maybe that was just all in JJ’s head, but she really didn’t think so. Then again, maybe she shouldn’t have kissed you at all. Maybe in her mind, everything seemed so different than it actually was. She just kept going on and on spiraling further into this thought process with each passing minute that she hadn’t heard from you.

Finally, after over a week of work, JJ had a day off coming up. Nothing had changed between you and her, you were still very much avoiding her. It was exhausting JJ, how worried she was about your wellbeing, how worried she was about the state of your friendship with her, how worried in general she was about all of it. JJ didn’t even have a minute to really sit down and take in the fact that it was also hurting her, knowing that she was probably rejected by you and her wishful thinking was just that– wishful thinking. But now she has a day off. A day to process. JJ didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing for her. For one, she got space away from seeing how uncomfortable you were, but then she couldn’t keep an eye on you to make sure you were safe. On the other hand, she could actually sit and think about how she was feeling and how to approach the silence you were giving her. However, she knew the minute she really started to think about it her heart would ache. JJ liked to think she was strong, but even she had her limits.

So how did she spend her day off then? By wallowing in her apartment and nursing her expected heartbreak ahead of time. At one point she did get dressed to go work out, but she never made it out of her apartment. She just stayed in her clean gym clothes and sat back on the couch, the idea of possibly running into you in the gym (even if she knew you’d probably be busy elsewhere) was too much of a risk.

When evening came and she finished checking her texts, missed calls, emails, and everything else you might message her on, she decided maybe she should get food. Before she even decided what she wanted to get delivered— there was still no way she was leaving her apartment at this point —she heard a knock on her door. Her eyebrows furrowed, there was no package she was expecting, no conversation with anyone else about coming over, nothing that warranted this knock.

With an exasperated sigh, she hoisted herself off the couch to go see who it was. It hadn’t been that long since the first knock that she heard another, more frantic tapping at her door. She huffed again, frustrated that whoever was on the other end was both impatient and interrupted her night of self loathing. A third knock came and she was getting a little pissed at this point.

Usually, being an agent at the BAU, she has a strict habit of checking the peephole before swinging a door open to an unexpected guest. But JJ hadn’t really been thinking clearly lately, so why start now when she could tell off the irritating person on the other side? Except, when she swung open the door she utterly froze.

She didn’t expect you to show up tonight, not when you had been actively avoiding her for days. Not to mention, you had never really needed to knock on her door. You had a key and both of you had a habit of just waltzing into each other’s places. So, you were definitely her last guess for who was waiting on the other side.

When JJ’s shocked eyes fell on you, you looked back up at her with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. JJ’s first reaction was to ask you why you seemed so scared if you were the one avoiding her for days and then showing up at her doorstep, but she held her tongue.

“Listen, okay here’s the thing…” you started suddenly. “I thought about the night, about what happened. Okay— so I took longer than I said and I’m sorry about that, but I have a good reason. I think, maybe.” You were rambling. JJ’s eyes were still filled with shock but she still had the sense to step out of the way when you pushed yourself into her apartment. “It’s just that,” you kept talking as you let yourself in, “this isn’t just something you do quickly, you know? I was with him for a while, and you and I… I’ve never connected with someone on the level I have with you. So if there was ever an inkling that I might lose our connection, even if it’s the smallest chance—“

“(Y/N), you would never lose me.” JJ had the sense to butt in with that, but your hand came up immediately after to signal her to stop whatever explanation she was ready to give you.

“Even then… The idea is terrifying,” you looked back at her with pleading eyes. Her heart sank as she began to realize where this conversation might be going. You were still pacing and she so desperately wanted to stop you and tell you not to worry about it. You didn’t have to say them to her tonight. She didn’t know if she could manage to hear the words you might say, but she didn’t dare move from the doorway.

“This isn’t coming out how I planned.” You pressed your hands to your eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “But…” you dropped your hands and gave JJ an intense look. “Then I thought about that night and all the other nights I’ve spent with you and I thought about… that kiss.” You both gulped as you said the word. “It was,” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “It was eye opening. It made me realize something…”

JJ was holding her breath. She really wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but she really was internally begging for you to rip off the bandage.

You took a deep breath and tried to center yourself for what you wanted to say next. JJ was on edge where she stood, trying not to let you see the way her hands trembled as she waited.

“JJ, I want to be with you.” The words were out there and JJ’s eyes widened the second she took that in.

“What?” It wasn’t that JJ didn’t hear you, it was that she was in a state of mild shock.

“I have feelings for you too. I think I’ve always known how you felt, how I felt even. I just wasn’t sure how to face it…” Your eyes fell to the floor, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you perhaps ever had been. “But then when you left that night it was all so clear to me.”

JJ took a few steps towards you, her heart beating like a jackhammer in her chest. “Then why did you ignore me for days?”

“I wasn’t trying to.” You looked back up at her with apologetic eyes. “I said I wanted to do things right and I do. So, I wanted to make sure I put a permanent end to my relationship. All his stuff needed to be out, I needed to tell him that— You know, that this was really it. Which I did, last night. And then it took me all day to figure out what to say to you.” You let out a soft laugh and shook your head. “I had this whole script planned out. I didn’t use any of it. This has to be the messiest way to tell someone you want to be with them.”

Finally, JJ’s face shifted from shock to a soft smile. She took another step and then another until she was right in front of you. “I think it still worked out well.”

You took a step towards her and whispered, “yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded before reaching for your waist. She leaned in and her lips pressed against yours for the first time since that night. And just like that first time, you melted into it.

———————————-

When you made up your mind to finally tell her that you wanted to be with her, you had also told yourself that you would do things right, take things slow. However, when your back hit her mattress and you looked down at the foot of the bed to see JJ crawling up your body… Well, that ship had long sailed. Even JJ had a similar thought when you finally admitted that you wanted to be with her, but that idea quickly went out the window the minute she felt your whole body press into hers as she kissed you. Her resolve only broke further the more the two of you pulled at each other’s clothes as you made it to her bedroom.

There was still a part of both of your minds that told you two that maybe things should slow down, but then when you looked at her, pupils blown, a slight blush across your face, that idea left her mind entirely. And when she looked back at you, nothing but adoration in her eyes as her hands ran up and down your half-naked body, any worry about going too fast was erased from yours too. This was JJ after all. It wasn’t like you didn’t know her. You did, you truly knew her. Perhaps deeper than most people can know one another.

So there you both were. JJ was hovering over your body at this point and you couldn’t stop yourself from taking in the beautiful tone of her bare stomach as she waited above you in nothing but a sports bra. Without even thinking, your hands made their way to her stomach and your nails, ever so softly, raked down her skin. You watched in awe as JJ shivered and her eyes filled with lust; a look entirely new for you to see.

JJ cupped your chin and dipped her head down. The way she kissed you, slow and deep, had your chest heaving and your heart racing. Your nails dragged across her stomach until they reached around her back and you pressed her down. Now her barely clothed form was pressed against your matching half naked body. Her hand didn’t leave your chin as her tongue traced around your own. You, for the most part, could only grip at her closer as you continued to kiss her. All of these feelings, of her pressed against you, the way she kissed and touched you, everything was just overwhelming your senses in the best way. Finally, when you felt JJ’s other hand start to brush down your stomach until she pressed the palm of her hand to your bare thigh, did you start to ground yourself in the feeling of her touch. Her fingers gently traced circles on your inner thigh as she kept kissing you, with each passing second getting closer and closer to where you wanted her most.

JJ pulled back just a little, her lips still barely ghosting over yours. Her fingers were playing with the edge of your panties and you realized she was trying to get your consent. Your heart swelled for the care she was giving you. It was something that might just be considered the bare minimum, but when JJ did it, it showed just how much she respected and felt for you. All of this felt new to you tonight, not just the fact that you were about to be with JJ for the first time in a way that you had never expected before, but everything else about the encounter. Never had you felt someone cherish you as much as she did and that feeling intensified with each little touch.

You gave her a small nod, your arms moving up her back to wrap around her neck and pull her lips back down to meet yours. As you resumed the kiss, you let a small gasp out against her lips the moment you felt her fingertips dip into your panties and brush against your clit.

Her fingers stroked slowly across it once and then twice and you couldn’t stop the small sounds that escaped from you. JJ wanted to take this slow, to soak in every single sound you made and how good you felt, but it wasn’t easy. Part of her wanted to just let go of everything, to let go of the long time she spent bottling things up, but she knew you needed to feel the love and adoration she had for you before she could dive in and finally indulge in what she’s wanted for so long.

Her fingers started to trace small circles around your clit and her lips left yours to kiss across your jaw. Your eyes were screwed shut again and your hips were moving ever so slightly with the way her fingers were working on your clit. JJ’s eyes were fixated on the way your face looked, flushed and twisted in the pleasure she was giving you. Your lips parted slightly to let out a small whimper and that was when JJ knew she needed to pick up the pace. Her fingers pressed more firmly on your clit and the way they moved against it sped up. Your hips kept moving in time with her hand, trying to get more friction. JJ’s other hand went to your breast, pushing your bra up so that she could have access to your nipples. Her fingers traced around each one as her lips made their way down your neck. Neither of you seemed to notice or care that the way she started nipping and kissing at the skin there was surely going to leave visible marks.

The feelings she was building up in you was starting to become too much, but you still wanted more. The way she focused on your clit felt amazing, but you wanted to feel her– to really have her. Without hesitation, one of your hands untangled itself from around JJ to reach down and grab her wrist. Both of you were shocked by the bold move, but neither of you minded, when you pushed her hand down further into your panties. JJ knew exactly what you wanted and let her fingers circle your entrance.

You took a few deep breaths, your hand leaving her wrist to go back to pressing her body closer to yours. JJ’s lips moved down to your chest and the moment you felt her fingers start to push into you, you also felt her take one of your nipples into her mouth.

“Oh!” You did not mean to gasp as loudly as you did, but after that gasp came a moan as you felt JJ’s two fingers sink deeper into you before pulling out almost completely and pushing back in. She wasn’t going fast, but she wasn’t necessarily going slow either. The angle was a little awkward with your lower half still partially clothed, but you desperately wanted her to keep going. Eventually, your legs fell open wider to give her more space and your arms left JJ again only for a moment to frustratingly pull your panties down and kick them off. With those off, and JJ’s fingers back inside you, your head rolled back again. You couldn’t stop the constant, desperate moans and gasps that left your lips.

JJ, in the meantime, had been busy switching between your breasts, marking up each of them and running her tongue across both nipples. When she started to feel your legs shake, she knew she needed to speed up. Her lips moved back to your neck, kissing over the marks she had left behind previously. Her fingers curled and your nails pressed into her skin. The sting of it didn’t even bother her, she was too lost in this moment with you. You were practically crying out her name with each pump of her fingers inside you. She wasn’t aware of much else other than the way you felt around her fingers.

“I love you.” Her voice was muffled into your neck, barely above a whisper. “I love you…” she breathed again, her fingers pumping faster inside you while your nails dug harder into her back.

It took a moment for those words to sink in. Words you didn’t expect to hear so soon. Especially not now, not during your first night together like this. But they were out there, whether JJ meant for you to hear or not.

Your body tensed for just a moment, even if you didn’t mean to. You had hoped JJ wouldn’t notice, but like always she did. Her head pulled back, her fingers slowed to a stop but never pulled out. Immediately when she met your eyes hers filled with panic. Probably because you looked back up at her with shock.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean for–” She started to pull away. “I know this isn’t the best time to say–”

Your hands clenched harder onto her back, trying your best to get her to stop pulling away from you. “I love you too,” you whispered. It wasn’t something you expected to say, but suddenly as you looked up at her, you realized it was the truest feeling you’ve ever had.

Her eyes searched yours for a moment. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nodded hard, your hand pressed to the nape of her neck to encourage her to lean down and kiss you once again. As she did, her fingers resumed from the pace that they had left off.

One of JJ’s hands came down to your thigh, grabbing it to hook across her waist. Her fingers hit just the right spot deep inside you and you broke the kiss to moan out a breathy, “I love you.” JJ’s pace sped up even more and that was all it seemed like you knew how to say. You kept saying it until finally, finally you came hard on her fingers.

JJ slowed her pace, letting you ride out your orgasm until you finally took a deep breath. Your eyes stayed closed and JJ, ever so slowly, pulled her fingers out of you.

“Wow,” you panted.

“Yeah,” JJ let out a breathless chuckle. “Wow.” Her hands came up to cup your face again and you pressed a kiss to her palm.

“I do really love you,” you whispered. “I don’t know how it took me this long to see that…”

She shook her head before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We’re here now and that’s what matters.”

Your arms pulled JJ tighter into you and you knew she was right. Despite how long it took you to put up with the bad treatment and accept the fact that she was there this whole time, you two were here now. Together and in love. This was just the beginning of it, and you knew that not only were you finally able to feel truly safe, but that feeling would never go. As long as you had JJ, you felt no fear.

Tags: @demonicbaby666 @storiesofsvu @geekyandgay98 @desperate-gay @high--power @finleyfray @natashamaximoff69 @inlovewithemilyprentiss @lovelyy-moonlight @jareguiromanoff @dj-bynum3718 @noahrex

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ilguna · 1 year

Text

☼ attention (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; you can't let her flirt with Finnick, even though you know she doesn't even stand a chance.

warnings; swearing, prostitution mention

wc; 1.6k

–

Annie’s testing your patience, and it’s beginning to run real thin.

You’re not sure what’s going through her mind right now to make her think that it’s okay to flirt with her mentor, but obviously there’s something a little fucked up in her head if she think she holds even a sliver of a chance with Finnick.

You let it slide for the first few days, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. There’s been plenty of tributes you’ve seen before that unintentionally flirt with people, and it’s because their natural instinct is to flatter to get something out of it. You even thought that she might have been stupid, because there have also been other times where you thought you had a competent tribute and they turned around and surprised you.

However, no matter how many hints you drop, she can’t seem to pick them up. It’s either that, or she’s ignoring them on purpose to see how long you can go like this before you snap. And you’re getting close.

Each time you try to tell Finnick to stop feeding into her delusional mental state and scoot back a little bit, he tells you that you need to stop worrying and nitpicking his actions. He doesn’t seem to understand that he has a hand in this too by not diffusing the situation.

You can’t even recall the amount of times that Finnick’s told you that there’s no competition between you and her. You’re his girlfriend, and you have been for a couple of years now. There’s no chance that he would want to go after a tribute, anyway, especially when there’s a fifty-fifty chance that they’ll just die in the arena.

The thing is, you know that he would never leave you for Annie, you’re not worried about that. The problem is that she doesn’t know that, and she’s embarrassing herself more everyday by thinking she’s got a footing on him. When in reality, she’s not going anywhere, and she will never go anywhere.

You honestly thought that Finnick would be uncomfortable and ask her to stop himself. You always knew he was an unbothered person, but this is bringing it to a whole new level.

You wish you could not care like he does.

The good news is that after tomorrow, you’ll never have to deal with her again, unless she wins the Games. And until then, you just have to continue to bite your tongue and pretend like you’re listening to what Finnick’s suggesting, instead of picturing your fingers around her neck, strangling her to death.

“Do you know what my dress will be?” She asks, biting her lip. She doesn’t give Finnick a chance to respond, lifting her shoulders to her chin, where she squishes her cheek against it, “What if I give Caesar a look like this?”

She pauses, lip jutting out to pout at Finnick.

He stares at her for a long second, eyes squinted, clearly thinking, and it’s not about the god-awful pose that she’s doing. If you were mean and horrendously evil, you’d suggest she go through with that pose, but Caesar’s a little questionable at times, and that would be too much for you to watch on stage. Even if it is for three minutes.

“No, I don’t know what they’re going to put you in.” Finnick’s face is slightly twisted, “And that’s a bad angle for you to go for.”

“Oh?” Her shoulders drop, “Why’s that?”

She’s playing the dumb angle again. You feel like smashing your face through the table, but you know that if you start, you won’t stop until you knock yourself out. It’ll save you the nightmare of sitting and watching this unfold from the sidelines.

You were helping him coach at first, but when it was clear that she was absorbing his words and not yours, you got up and sat over here, at the dining table. You'd go and help the escort with her tribute partner if you could, if only she didn’t insist on having her sessions be one-on-one.

“Because you’re not that type of person.” He deadpans, finally sitting back in his seat.

She doesn’t move from where she’s leaned forward. She’s wearing an actual shirt today, instead of that tank top bullshit that she’d been putting on to purposely lean over shit to see if Finnick would look. When she went to train yesterday, you took all of the tank tops out of her closet and drawers and threatened the avoxes if they even thought about restocking them.

They know you didn’t mean it, but the edge in your voice must’ve been a giveaway that you were on your final straw. She may think that you can’t control anything, and you’re just a little mentor, but you’re about to make her life a living hell in the arena if she doesn’t cut it out.

“What type of person am I?” She asks.

“Not a very smart one.” You murmur, rubbing down your face.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” He says, “What did you say that your parents do?”

“My father’s a fisher, but my mom used to be a model for some of the designers. She says I take after her, with my body and all.” She smiles, hands running down her thighs.

You almost let out a laugh, because it really is funny.

However, you’re about a minute away from making a scene, especially if Finnick doesn’t set some boundaries. He must hear your thoughts, because you don’t miss the way his eyes flicker in your direction, like he knows you’re getting upset.

“Okay, let’s drop the whole flirtatious idea.” Finnick waves his hand.

“Why?” Annie frowns, “Isn’t that how you got your sponsors?”

You shake your head, letting out a noise. You’re drawing a line here, because you’re not going to do this anymore. When you check the time, it seems like it’s nearing when the escort said you should take a break and switch, anyway. Which you’re going to do.

“Okay, we’re breaking for lunch.” You slap your hand on the table, making Annie jump at the sudden noise.

“But—” Annie looks at you for the first time in twenty minutes.

“Finnick, come here.” You motion with your finger.

He gives you a look, clearly not happy that you’re cutting her time short. You can’t give a fuck. In fact, you hope it sabotages her in the end. You can stomach her trying to stab at you from the sidelines. She can show her boobs, she can bat her eyelashes and play stupid all she wants.

When she starts suggesting that Finnick did the same to get sponsors is when it starts to become too much to handle. Finnick never acted like that, he was just a boy when their perverted thoughts started rolling in. And he hasn’t been able to escape them since.

You can’t expect her to know this, it’s private information. It doesn’t mean you’ll let her think that’s the case.

Finnick comes up the steps, Annie doesn’t move from her spot on the couch. You wait until he’s within arm’s reach before you yank him closer, throwing an arm over the back of his neck to pull him down to your height, before carefully pressing your lips on his.

You can feel him smirk on your lips, clearly entertained by the idea of doing this in front of Annie to prove your point, yet again. Finnick is yours, he always has been, and he doesn’t have a plan of ever changing that, and neither do you. She doesn’t seem to get that, but hopefully this will make it clearer to her.

The first thing that Finnick does when he pulls away, is give you this massive eye roll, as if he hasn’t done the same thing before. You two will go out to bars, or the festivals, or shopping, and when one guy has his eye on you for too long, it’s like he can’t take his lips off of you.

The second you do it, you’re jealous and overreacting.

“I love you.” You say.

“I love you too.” He tells you loudly, making a face at you when he does it, because his back is turned to Annie. She can’t see a single thing that’s happening between you two from this angle.

“I know.” You say, removing your arm from his neck, “You want to go tell them that it’s lunch time?”

“Sure.” He kisses you again, and immediately moves to walk past you to head in the escort’s direction.

You swing around, open palm ready as you take a full swing at Finnick’s ass, a smile coming to your face at the sound that fills the air. Finnick glares at you over his shoulder, you let out a laugh, turning to take a look at Annie on the couch.

Her face is a beet red, you don’t think you’ve seen her this color yet. It doesn’t matter, you won this round, there’s no coming back from this. And the best part is, she’ll be tortured for the next two hours or so because she’ll have to learn how to walk in heels and act like a proper lady. Your escort isn’t nice by any means about it.

For good measure, you grin at Annie, “I’d say his lips are my favorite part about his body, but I’ve seen under the belt, so.”

“Oh.” Annie squeaks.

“Yeah, but his ass is still pretty nice.” You snort, turning to walk away from her, shaking your head.

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hauntedhokage · 8 months

Text

the distraction

Diavolo/Fem!MC/Lucifer

summary: Lucifer doesn’t understand what the appeal is. Diavolo is smitten, a couple of his brothers have made pacts, and he thinks you’re only going to be trouble and create more of it the longer you’re in the Devildom. A visit to the castle to check on an allegedly sick Lord Diavolo grants an invitation for Lucifer to see what all the fuss was about.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: explicit sexual content, f!receiving oral, exhibitionism/voyeurism, double penetration, anal, hints of hatefucking from Lucifer, jealous!Lucifer, maybe Luci has a crush on Dia i’m not sure, some Diavolo/Lucifer action, overstimulation, i don’t know what this is (which is becoming my answer to everything now)

Lucifer thinks you’re a distraction. A mistake to have been brought into the Devildom because you distract his Lord Diavolo, and the rest of his brothers (but that was a different issue). You don’t listen, you’re stubborn, and it felt like every single day he was hearing about something you did - if not from his brothers then from Diavolo himself. The Demon Lord was smitten with the human exchange student who wasn’t supposed to be anything special but ended up turning the school upside down.

He didn’t get what was so great about you, and he hated the effect you had on everyone around you. It just didn’t make sense. You’d even made Diavolo late for council meetings a couple times, which was mostly excusable considering how busy the prince was and how desperately he wanted to make sure this exchange event was successful. The key to that success was the comfort and survival of the exchange students, and if you had a question for Diavolo, then he was going to answer it. Only for you, though, nobody else was allowed to make him tardy.

It must’ve been one hell of a question this time, since Diavolo was now more than ten minutes late to the Student Council meeting. Not only that, he wasn’t answering his phone, either.

“Where’s Diavolo?” The empty chair makes him more nervous than it should. There’s no way something had happened to him, but for Diavolo to be more than five minutes late with no contact was greatly concerning.

“He said he wasn’t feeling well and went home early.” Why wasn’t he told? Instead Mammon is the one told that the head of the student council wasn’t going to be in attendance at the council meeting? That was extremely irresponsible and out of character for Diavolo, which was cause for concern on Lucifer’s end.

But then he noticed that the human that was supposed to be with Mammon wasn’t there, either.

“Where’s the human?”

“Back at the house. Said she was tired.” It wasn’t unusual for Mammon to be unbothered, the health of the human had no bearing on how much money he had, but that didn’t stop Lucifer from wishing that his younger brother thought about things in a bit more detail than just the financial.

“Well, we can just cancel this meeting then. We’ll need to check on her, and I’ll go check on Diavolo.”

“Wouldn’t Barbatos have that taken care of?”

“It’s polite to check on people when you hear they’re unwell, Mammon.” Is all the eldest leaves them with, leaving the chamber in a calculated hurry. He has to maintain his composure to avoid suspicion or concern. Causing any sort of commotion would never bode well.

Upon his arrival at Diavolo’s castle, he’s greeted warmly by Barbatos with some slight confusion regarding his appearance. But nonetheless, he’s allowed to go up to where Diavolo’s office and bedroom were so he could check in on his prince.

He doesn’t hear the sound of pen on paper, nor does he hear what he would expect of a sick Diavolo. The prince was whiny when he was sick, begging Barbatos for more tea and maybe a tissue. Instead Lucifer hears what sounds like moans coming from the bedroom.

The respectful thing to do would be to turn around and leave Diavolo to his business. Who he spends time with is private, and he could be grilled about his extracurricular activities tomorrow. Leaving him to his guest was the polite thing to do, even if he was curious considering Diavolo hadn’t shown much interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with anybody. He didn’t want to ruin it.

“D-Dia, I’m so close. Please don’t stop.”

Yes, turning around and leaving would be the respectful thing to do. However he knows that voice, and it’s the current source of his recurring stress outside of his siblings. You’ve now proven to be a massive distraction for Lord Diavolo, and that needed to be addressed immediately. He needed to stop it, and convince Diavolo to send you back up to the human world so things could return to normal.

Lucifer is pushing the door open just as you’re crying out Diavolo’s name, and his eyes aren’t sure where to focus. Your blissed out face, or Diavolo’s back that he could see between your parted legs? Did he look at your body? Should he look at you at all considering you were naked in Diavolo’s bed with your hand gripping the prince’s red hair in a tight fist.

“I must not have told Barbatos I wasn’t to be bothered by anyone,” is all Diavolo says at first, and Lucifer watches as his dear friend kisses the inside of your thigh before wiping at his chin. It’s then that he sees Diavolo’s face, sees how pleased the prince is, and that just doesn’t feel right. “Good afternoon, Lucifer.”

“Is there anybody you won’t infect, human?” The question isn’t meant to be voiced, he’s immediately embarrassed as soon as the words come out. He’s supposed to be kind, inviting, setting a good example for his brothers and making sure not to disgrace Diavolo. But here he was, talking down to you while you laid naked in Diavolo’s bed. Here he was, disgracing Diavolo.

“I don’t think he truly means that,” Diavolo comments, looking between you and his right hand in concern. But you seem unbothered by the statement; in fact, you actually look amused to see Lucifer agitated and embarrassed. Usually it was him scolding Mammon for saying idiotic things, how the tables had turned.

“No, I’m sure he does. Lucifer doesn’t like me that much, Diavolo.” You’re even pouting up at the future Demon King, laying on the theatrics a bit thick for Lucifer’s taste but he knows Diavolo sees through it. “He thinks I’m up to no good.”

“The only no good thing you’re up to, darling, is when I’ve got you riding my cock.” Lucifer wants to puke at that, plus the way Diavolo leans in to kiss at your neck before murmuring “sinful” against your skin. “Oh!”

“What?” Lucifer asks in unison with you, not missing the way you rolled your eyes before Diavolo is kissing you again. As if it was his fault he had the same question at Diovolo’s outburst.

“Maybe,” the redhead starts, kissing you once more before he pulls back to look at Lucifer again. “Maybe Lucifer just needs a taste. You and I can help him lighten up a bit, I’m sure.”

“Is he even capable of having fun?”

“If I tell him to.”

“I don’t need Diavolo to tell me to have fun.”

“Then get naked, get in this bed, and have fun with us!” If it was coming from Diavolo, he’d see it as an offer. But coming from you, it felt like a challenge. And he wasn’t about to lose to a human, especially not one like you. “While I’m still wet, Luci. Don’t waste his efforts.”

Pain in the ass, he thinks to himself as he strips, trying not to start too hard at the way you and Diavolo were watching him. To have both of your gazes burning into his skin, to know that your hand is slowly jerking Diavolo’s cock while Diavolo’s mouth busies itself with your breast - you two were pleasuring each other to the sight of him. It should make him uncomfortable, but instead it only turns him on more.

“Do you trust that he’ll satisfy me, Diavolo?” you ask, winking up at Lucifer as Diavolo looks up at you. “And how can I satisfy you as he does?”

“I trust Lucifer with everything. If he fails in his task, I’m not sure what I’ll do.” He actually looks troubled at the thought that he would have to react should Lucifer not deliver, his brow furrowing until you smooth the wrinkles away with your thumb. “We’ll just have to keep at it until you’re truly satisfied. It’s a task not given lightly so, should he fail, I’d want him to work at it until he’s successful.”

It’s Diavolo who guides Lucifer’s hand to the apex of your thighs, Diavolo who encourages Lucifer to gather that wetness and taste it for himself, while you just lay there and watch the eldest of the seven brothers as he stares down at you. What was going through your head, he didn’t know and wasn’t sure he wanted to. Your mind had proven to surprise him numerous times during your stay at the House of Lamentation, what could come out of your mouth while Diavolo was here to protect you from his rage was something Lucifer wanted nothing to do with.

But he couldn’t deny that you were beautiful, especially among the lavish sheets and pillows that made Lord Diavolo’s bedding. If only you weren’t so irritating.

“Lucifer,” you murmur, sitting up a bit while waving him in closer. He obliges in your request, leaning in so you were almost nose to nose as he adjusts himself between your legs, only to be caught off guard when you kiss him. There was no intimacy in your kiss, only need, and he uses this moment to carefully push himself into your waiting heat. If you weren’t ready that wasn’t his problem, but the moan that reverberates around his tongue tells him that you enjoyed his intrusion into your body.

You pull him back with you as you lie back against the pillows, breaking the kiss in favor of looking over at Diavolo who is grinning in his own victory. Whatever he’d been plotting would have to be addressed later, as Lucifer’s one goal now is to fuck some respect into the bratty human living in his home. One of his hands snakes around to grip the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin as he gets close to your ear.

“Maybe there is something special about you,” he taunts, nipping at the shell of your ear as he presses his hips flush to yours.

“Gonna start sleeping on my bedroom floor like your brothers do?”

“Don’t let this make you think that you’ve got my interest as anything more than the human living in my house.” Despite his tone, he feels your cheek rise against his with a grin that only agitates him more. Did you ever care about what he said? “Insolent brat.”

He’s not very gentle as he grabs you, his hands keeping you connected to him as he pulls you back up into a sitting position. The demand is made that you work for your orgasm, something that has Diavolo chuckling from the side before he’s moving to box you in against Lucifer.

“Ride him well, darling, and I’ll reward you greatly.”

Lucifer was going to add spoiled to the list of things you definitely were, especially when he feels what could only be Diavolo’s hand near the base of his cock

“What are you planning?”

“She’s got another hole to fill, doesn’t she? Maybe you should try her ass, it’s just as wonderful as-”

“I will not make a habit out of fucking her.”

“So you say now.” Diavolo’s knowing smirk was just as irritating in this moment as your little smirks were every day. Knowing that Diavolo was on your side in this; that he liked you to the point of having sex with you frequently, that you were allowed to touch him so delicately behind closed doors, when you were just some little girl in a world too big and magical for you just had him feeling many different emotions and not one of them was positive.

“It’s okay to like me, Lucifer,” you whisper in his ear, your hips moving against him while your hands are firm on his shoulders to keep yourself steady. “If you need Diavolo’s permission for that, he’d grant it.”

“I don’t need Diavolo’s permission to do anything,” he counters, but follows to lie on his back when you push at his shoulders. It’s your quirked brow that has him gripping your hips harder as he starts to fuck up into you, trying to prove a point while also being mindful of where Diavolo’s positioned behind you. Something short circuits in Lucifer’s brain when he feels a tongue on his sac, and he tries to look past you and your pleasured expression to see just what Diavolo was trying to achieve down there - was the redhead trying to prep you or get him off faster?

But he does feel you getting tighter around him, the way your pace gets a bit less consistent and your moans grow a bit louder, Lucifer knows that the silly human is about to cum on his cock and Diavolo’s fingers that were working to stretch your other hole open. And as you’re coming undone, face twisting in pleasure as he fucks you through it, he thinks he gets the hype about you. You were pretty cute when you were babbling about how good you felt and begging the two demons not to stop, he was almost concerned that pleasure of this magnitude from demons would alter your brain.

He knew better now.

But then the bed is shifting beneath him again, and he looks away from your face to see Diavolo on his knees behind you.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” The question sounds so gentle leaving him, as if he’s asking you if you’re ready to go out on the town and not have both of your holes penetrated by two demons at the same time. And you respond just as sweetly, looking over your shoulder and whispering a “yes, please” to Diavolo that has Lucifer holding your hips just a bit tighter.

“You know, we’ve done anal before,” you comment, smiling down at Lucifer and taking the chance to push his hair out of his face. “Worried about me?”

“You’re human, so yes.”

“Oh really? I had no clue that I was- oh, fuck.”

Diavolo was making his entrance, so Lucifer just waited while also basking in the feeling that was your pussy getting tighter with Diavolo working his way into your ass. You’re biting your lip until he’s carefully coaxing it from between your teeth but pushing his thumb into your mouth as Diavolo is whispering reassurances into your ear.

“You’re not gonna cum already, are you?” Lucifer asks, grinning when you gently bite down on his thumb in response to him rolling his hips into yours. “He’s not even fully inside you yet. But I bet you want Diavolo to touch that pretty clit of yours. Would that be your third orgasm, or did I miss one on my way over?”

“Missed two,” Diavolo corrects while snaking his arm around your waist, bringing a look of surprise onto Lucifer’s face at the information. “One of my own, too.”

“That’s less interesting.”

“Mammon says you’re in love with me, though.”

“And I’ll lecture him about that once I’m home.” It was almost like they weren’t both trying to fuck their human exchange student right now. Almost; but he can feel the way you clench impossibly tighter around them, see the way Diavolo has to compose himself while pressing his face into your shoulder due to how tense you were getting with your impending orgasm. He’d try to edge you, but he doesn’t think it’d be possible with how stuffed full you were at the moment.

He also doesn’t think Diavolo would allow him to deny the precious human what she wanted.

Diavolo sends you over the edge with a snap of his hips, chuckling at the wail you let out as you cum around both men. Lucifer is kissing at the skin he can reach while the redhead continues to fuck you - both men riding that high in their own way and trying to keep you on that edge and clenching around them for as long as they could.

“And there’s four,” Lucifer murmurs, biting into your neck as his own patience wears thin and he's holding you in place so he could fuck up into you at his own brutal pace that matched the prince’s. “Can we get you to five, brat?”

“We definitely can.” Diavolo assures, winking at Lucifer over your shoulder. “Can’t we, darling?”

You're nodding while begging for it, and Lucifer can’t take his eyes off of your face. Your body is so warm, and would likely be exhausted after this last orgasm and he’s not sure how he’d get your back to the house but that’s a problem for later. Right now is about how incredible your pussy feels, and how right it feels to feel Diavolo’s cock working alongside his own while being held in your inviting warmth. He could spend years in this position if it was allowed, you felt that good.

"So tight, darling," Diavolo groans, his forehead pressed against your shoulder while one of his hands grips your hip and the other keeps his weight off of you. "I won’t last much longer with you like this. But I think it’d be divine if both Lucifer and I filled you at the same time. Would you like that?”

You nod quickly, babbling your approval of the idea as Lucifer’s hips pick up their pace to something he could only think would be brutal for someone in your current state. You were so close to cumming again, they just needed to get you there and Diavolo’s hand frantically rubbing against your clit proved to get you there rather quickly - but that showed how well the prince knew your body at this point.

“You can cum too, Lucifer.” He didn’t know that he needed permission, but getting that permission makes it impossible for him to hold off any longer and he’s painting your walls with his cum as Diavolo finally stills above you with his own orgasm.

The bedroom is quiet save for the heavy breathing of all three parties, the room settling more when Diavolo carefully pulls out before he removes you from on top of Lucifer. The demon watches as the prince guides you onto the pillows, gently stroking your face as he praises you for your performance.

“You good, Lucifer?” you ask when Diavolo stops to breathe, propping yourself up to look at Lucifer as he finally sits up. “No bullshit.”

“I’m good, that was good. We should do that again sometime.”

“Just stay the night, we can do it a few more times.” The suggestion from Diavolo has you winking at Lucifer before you drop back onto the mountain pillows. “My bathtub will fit all three of us, too.”

“Hear that? All three of us.” Your addition pulls a sigh from him and a chuckle from Diavolo, and Lucifer knows what the answer was. He wasn’t going to be able to pull you away from the prince anyway.

“I’ll text the group chat and let them all know that we’re helping tend to Lord Diavolo,” Lucifer states, looking over to see that Diavolo had wasted no time in curling himself around the tired human. “Not that either of you really care.”

“I care a little bit,” you mumble, eyes still closed as Diavolo starts kissing at your neck. “Don’t want the boys worrying about me too much.”

“I care, but only because I don’t want them barging in while we’re ravishing our exchange student. I don’t think she can take more than two at a time, Lucifer, and your brothers are rather impatient.”

“You’re awful,” you giggle, gently swatting at Diavolo as Lucifer rolls his eyes. As if he’d share something like this with his younger brothers. But that would be left alone for now, seeing that Diavolo had you rolled over onto your stomach to prepare you for another round.

#bruh don't ask #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me smut #lucifer x mc #diavolo x mc #lucifer x female reader #diavolo x female reader #diavolo smut #obey me imagines

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pristine-rose · 1 year

Text

✧ LILAC FUMES

⊹ characters : albedo, ningguang, kaveh, la signora

⊹ synopsis : bad habits ( in which only you can see )

⊹ warnings : all sfw :] , smoking ( ningguang )

⊹ female reader, not proofread, sry for writing albedo again

minors can interact, but do not follow. this is just more sfw to pass the time! will hopefully return to n.sfw soon

⊹ ALBEDO

self-doubt

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing.

Brush strokes race rapidly across the canvas, but somehow even quicker than normal. He used more colors than he usually does; He puts in more care than he usually does, too. He paints you so beautifully. Perhaps even a little too perfect, as well. But that’s the way he sees you—no flaws, but in a way that ms so perfectly human, that you’re practically perfectly imperfect. And Archons, he loves that about you.

Is he allowed to say that? Allowed to even think it? Loving you? This is why he paints you—because he can’t show these feelings any other way. And he hates this about himself. Why can’t he kiss you the way other couples do? Why can’t he hug you without being so tense? Why, why, why did he have to be created without a heart?

You deserved someone more human than him, he feared. Someone who would pour his heart out to you so emotionally correct, and not towards a painting like he is doing now.

“Albedo…” He felt his body jump in horrific surprise. “This is…”

Ah. He forgot to lock his studio door. He was so stupid—he could never think logically when it came to you. And now you were here, seeing something he didn’t want you to see. “Albedo,” you called again with your hand over your mouth, “you’re so kind…”

Kind? He could almost scoff You were calling him kind? He was a disgrace here, he could not even understand the basics of love in a way to show it to you physically or verbally; And here you were, staring at him like he was the most thoughtful of lovers. He didn’t know how to show love. In fact, he didn’t even know what he was doing.

And yet, when you ran up to hug him so tightly, he thought, perhaps you knew him better than he knew himself.

☁️ —

⊹ NINGGUANG

smoking

Smoke-lined silk screen, glass room, bed frame, light post.

A huff, clouds filtered between red lips.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough of that?”

When she looked up at you, her pearly whites were playing with the wooden tip between her lips, toying with it as if it were like secondary skin. She looked unbothered—genuinely confused, even—as to what exactly you were asking of her in the first place.

“Enough of what?”

You gave no verbal response as your eyes glanced down at her mouth for just a second. Oh. “My pipe?”

“Your smoking problem,” you told; only to, of course, garner a response along the lines of ‘I don’t have a problem’. You could only scoff, really, and the Tianqian wasn’t sure if she liked that. To be almost belittled and scolded like a child ( which, in truth, was not happening at all—she just conditioned herself to see such a false reality ) was not a setting that Ningguang took kindly to. And if you were any other subordinate telling her what to do, you’d be a dartboard by now.

She blew out slowly. Secondhand smoke hit the tip of your nose and your brow raised. “You’re being dramatic,” she rolled her eyes. “Come. Grow up, and give me a—”

“I will not be kissing you with your smoker’s breath.”

She almost cracked the wooden pipe with the clench of her hand from annoyance—but that would be giving into you, wouldn’t it? She almost didn’t like the winning smile that crossed your lips. What she didn’t like even more, however, was being put into place right in front of you.

☁️ —

⊹ KAVEH

overworking, worrying

“Love you so m— Oh, wait! Do you think you can make another coffee for—?”

His words died into mumbles when he saw the hesitant look you gave him. “Coffee?” you questioned, leaning at the doorframe in a way he didn’t like. A lean like that meant you’d be questioning him. He got nervous when you did that. “At this hour?”

His fingers fiddled with his pen. “I have this big project to hammer out tonight, I fear…”

You only sighed. So simple, yet he could not take his eyes off of you. They were widened with a stir of caffeine and sleep deprivation both simultaneously—the bags under his eyes only causing even more concern. But he stared at you out of habit, for a large part of it was fear and insecurity. His eyes were always, always widened, searching for any trace of disappointment in your gaze. He didn’t like it when you were concerned over him; Not because of annoyance, no.

But over worry you would leave him for his self-sabotaging habits.

“Sorry,” he muttered when you pushed yourself off the doorframe, beginning to make your way towards his desk. “This project is really important to me.”

“You said that all your projects are important to you,” you remarked. The way you tiredly slouched yourself over his back and rested your chin on his shoulder made him only feel worse. “And I can see that,” you continued, “they are your life’s work.”

Kaveh stayed quiet. He stared down at his work-in-progress blueprint, trying his best to look like he was working. And truly, he was working fine just a moment ago—But how could he continue that focus now, when you’re making him self-conscious? He didn’t deserve such concern. You should’ve just left him by now.

“You’re shaking.” He didn’t notice that until you placed your hand on top of his, which was gripping his pen so tightly. “You can continue your masterpiece when you have enough sleep, okay?” you muttered as you kissed his temple. He sighed, melting in his seat. Perhaps he could spare to continue in the morning.

☁️ —

⊹ LA SIGNORA

secret keeping, overthinking

“Hey. Hey, look at me.”

Her lips landed under your own once she felt the pull of your fingers on her chin. She was seated, feeling your presence loom over her like a sense of warm security that was so reachable in this palace of ice. And yet it left her breathless—she, who was never surprised by anything. She, who was so cautious and careful about who she adored.

“Was there something you needed?” she whispered, feeling small as her breath brushed your lips.

“You were heating up,” you said with such concern, “worryingly so.” Her head slightly tilted back with a widened eye, looking up when the back of your hand gently pressed against her forehead. She could almost smile—you cared so much, and it almost made her hopelessly romantic again. “Are you developing a fever, Signora?”

Her brows furrowed together. No, of course she wasn’t.

“Perhaps I am.”

But she couldn’t tell you that. She couldn’t tell you of the scorching, liquid fire that coarse through her veins. She could not explain the self sacrifice she committed centuries ago, or how she was prepared to die.

“Do you mind walking with me to my room?”

Because why would she tell you, when you would probably become scared of her? You—who was just like everybody else—thought she was perfect and ruthless. But also you, who she could not afford to see the disgusted face of.

For now, you only smiled; And she planned to keep it that way.

#genshin x reader #albedo x reader #ningguang x reader #kaveh x reader #la signora x reader #signora x reader #genshin impact x reader #ga #genshin women x reader #genshin men x reader

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

Text

“You dragged us out of bed at eight thirty in the goddamn morning for what?”

“You remember how you got married on a random Thursday without telling anyone?” Hunk says, instead of answering the goddamn question. Keith and Lance both groan as loudly and obnoxiously as they can. Lance makes a point to yank their blankets over his head as he falls back onto the pillows.

“Just ignore them,” Keith whines, slinging an arm around Lance’s waist and pulling him back in. Lance goes willingly, inclined to follow those instructions.

“Nope. Nuh-uh.” Something soft and round pelts Lance on the shoulder, then the hip, then lands square on his head. “Up you get.”

“Fuck off,” Lance gripes again, peering over the covers to glare at Pidge, who is gleefully digging through their sock drawer to hand Hunk more ammo.

“Nope. Get up, losers.” Hunk huffs. “God, I don’t even understand why this is taking you so long. You went to bed at eight-thirty. That was twelve hours ago. There’s no possible way you’re still sleepy.”

Lance pauses. He glances over at his husband, who’s grinning just as wolfishly as he is.

God, Lance loves him so much. Verbal communication is for dweebs. They’ve got this shit in the bag.

“We went to bed at eight thirty,” Lance agrees, pretending to be nonchalant.

Keith hums, following along, leaning back with his arms folded behind his head like he’s the most unbothered bitch on the planet. “Right, right, we did.” He pauses for dramatic effect. (It will never cease to amaze Lance that people think the Black Paladin is some sort of stoic, serious asshole. How even he used to think that. Keith grew up with Shiro, for fuck’s sake. There’s not a bone in his body that isn’t at least a little melodramatic.) He glances over at Lance, finally giving the game away with a wide grin. “But I don’t remember us doing any sleeping.”

“Funnily enough, me either!”

It takes Pidge and Hunk a moment for the implication to sink in, and their identically disgusted faces when it does immediately make Keith and Lance burst out laughing.

“You two are nasty,” Pidge protests, throwing eight more sock pairs with increasing violence. Keith and Lance are too weak with laughter to stop her, barely holding their hands in front of them to stop the onslaught. “I hate you. Hunk, suffocate them.”

“I’m considering it,” Hunk mutters darkly. He shakes his head rapidly. “God, the imagery.”

The best part is that it isn’t even true. They walked up to their room at eight-thirty, got ready for bed, talked for maybe three minutes, and then fell asleep immediately like old people. It was excellent.

But fucking with his friends is always fun.

“Just be downstairs in twenty minutes,” Pidge says, aiming another ball of socks at Keith’s head. Keith manages to catch it, and Pidge scurries to hide behind Hunk before Keith can whip it back. “We’re going out.”

The two disappear before they can ask anymore questions, making a point of loudly stomping down the stairs and ignoring their questioning.

“We could just ignore them,” Keith suggests.

“That’s true,” Lance agrees. “We could even have sex for real? That would piss them off.”

For a second Keith looks like he’s really considering it. He gets that cute little furrow in his brow that he gets when he’s concentrating. It does wonderful things to Lance’s ego, that the thought of sleeping with him gets the same furrow of concentration that fighting a war does.

But eventually, as Lance knew he would, Keith sighs. “We should probably see what they have planned.”

Lance smiles. “Maybe.” He heaves himself up, offering a hand to Keith to pull him out of bed, too, then drags him to the bathroom. “Let’s get dressed.”

———

They make it downstairs twenty minutes later, dressed and ready to go. The kitchen is overcrowded, as it usually is, with Hunk and Adam cooking something delicious at the stove, Pidge standing guard over Shiro so he doesn’t curse the kitchen with his presence, and Veronica trying and failing to look cool for an earnestly oblivious Allura. The real grownups — Coran, Krolia, Miguel, Marcela, and Lisa — are chatting over some fresh fruit at the table, Luis trying and failing to convince the twins to eat their food instead of throwing it at each other. Marco is nowhere to be found, likely having escaped to the garage when the kitchen got too loud.

They’ve been home and settled for quite some time, now. But all his family safe and in one place still makes something fragile clink around in Lance’s chest.

“Well good afternoon, mijos,” Marcela teases.

“It’s barely nine, Mamá,” Lance says, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek before taking a seat. Keith hesitates a second, then Marcela taps her other cheek, so Keith follows Lance’s example and then kissing his own mother hello before sitting down next to Lance. His face is a little red by the end of it, still unused to the casual affection, but his smile is small, pleased.

“I never get any kisses hello,” Shiro grumbles into his coffee mug.

Keith doesn’t miss a beat. “That is because you are irritating.”

“Can it, boogerbrain.”

Adam slides a plate piled high with pancakes between them.

“Before you two kill each other,” he says drily. The fondness drips off of him, made even more evident by the way he pinches Keith’s cheek as he walks past, slides his hand down Shiro’s shoulder as he sits next to him. His diversion is successful, however, and both brothers call an unspoken truce in favour of stuffing their faces.

“So,” Pidge says, mouth full, several minutes later. “You guys got married on a whim.”

Keith glances at Marcela. “That is an exaggeration,” he says loudly, as if Lance’s mother isn’t well aware that her son is the type of dumbass to say yes to an impulsive wedding proposal.

“It’s really not,” Allura, Hunk, Shiro and Pidge say at the same time.

Keith scowls.

“Anyways,” Hunk continues, “since y’all didn’t actually let anyone know you were getting hitched, we never got to do fun wedding things. Like a bachelor party.”

“Or an actual wedding,” Allura points out, which is met with various snickers.

Lance leans back to exchange a contemplative glance with Keith. While he doesn’t and never will regret the way they got hitched, he supposes there are some things they missed. Having a dumb drunk party with their friends doesn’t sound bad at all, actually.

“Alright,” Lance says, nodding. “We’re down for that. What are we doing? Heading to the beach?”

“Oh, no,” Veronica says, grinning wildly. She pushes up her glasses as if she’s a dorky anime character. “Get ready for something way better.”

———

An arcade.

Their friends have dragged them to an arcade.

“I haven’t been to one of these in years,” Keith comments, taking in the bright lights, strange and minorly unpleasant smells, and sounds of screaming children.

Lance squeezes his hand. “Me either, but don’t worry. We’re going to crush it.”

“Hey, whoa, hold on,” Veronica says, making a T sign with her hands. “It’s a bachelor party.”

Keith and Lance blink at her.

“Yes,” Lance says, extra slow so she can understand. “For us. We got that.”

Veronica continues to look at them like they have a couple screws loose — which would normally be fine, because that’s a particularly favourite expression of hers to wear around Lance, only the rest of the team is looking at them funny, too.

“Since when do bachelor parties involve both parties?” Hunk clarifies. “Split up!”

“What? No way!” Keith protests. He pulls Lance closer to him. “I married him, so I get dibs!”

“Nope, no way,” Allura says. “I already called dibs on Lance. You get your own team to lose on. Good luck.”

Look.

Lance is loyal, okay? He made a vow. Keith is his number one. His ride or die. Blah blah blah.

However.

Before he fell in love, before Keith was the person he turned to, before Keith was his friend, even, Keith was his rival.

And rivalries don’t just die. They just get pushed aside, really. He lets go of Keith’s hand and sidesteps towards the Blue Paladin. Keith’s face of betrayal makes him smirk.

“What,” he taunts, leaning back all casual-like. “Afraid to lose, Kogane?”

Like clockwork, Keith’s face smooths into something cocky and testy and really, really hot.

“Like hell, Kogane,” he scoffs. “I’m going to grind you to dust.”

Hunk claps his hands. “Excellent. Keith, you stand by that plant, Lance stand across from him. It’s team picking time. Keith gets to pick first because Allura already threatened violence if she doesn’t get Lance’s team.”

Allura smiles primly, skipping over to stand with Lance. Her braids — courtesy of Lisa and Sylvio — swish cheerfully behind her, pink beads clinking. Lance high-fives her when she gets close.

“Ready to annihilate them?” Lance asks.

Allura grins. “We won’t even need anyone else.”

Blue’s presence roars in both of their head at the same time, proud and smug.

“Dibs on Hunk!” Keith shouts.

Lance gasps in betrayal. “What? No!” Keith only sticks his tongue out at him, and to Lance’s horror, even Hunk is grinning!

“Sorry, man,” he says, not sounding very sorry at all. He accepts Keith’s fist bump. “Keith is just the obvious winner, here. You know I pick the non-losing side.”

“I’m cutting you out of my will,” Lance informs him. He is, too. Hunk can have squat, since he’s a quisling.

“Just choose your next teammate, goober,” Hunk says.

Lance turns back to the pool of options, gaze critical. His initial strategy had been to choose people with opposite strengths to him — those better with luck games, or trivia. But if Keith’s strategy is to choose people that will cripple Lance, then he needs to adjust accordingly. If he loses this he’ll never forgive himself.

“Shiro,” he says definitively. Having Keith’s brother in his team will make Keith sloppier, because Keith physically cannot handle being on an opposite team of Shiro without the absolutely blinding urge to beat him. He’ll be so focused on one-upping Shiro that he’ll be less focused on doing games properly.

They spend the next ten minutes carefully choosing their teams and making faces at each other. In the end, Keith’s team is made up of Hunk, Adam, and Veronica. Lance’s team has Allura, Shiro, and Pidge (everyone else decided to step away from what they knew was a competition that was bound to get out of hand and stay home — which, fair). The second the teams are finalized, Lance pulls everyone away, guiding them to a little corner of the arcade so they can Strategise.

“Okay,” Lance starts, mentally planning a map of the arcade and its games. “We need to out-ticket them, so prioritize high-payout games first, skilled games second. Anything that’s a guaranteed thirty tickets is a game worth playing a few times. Anything you know you can demolish, hit hard.”

“Are we cheating?” Shiro asks.

“Foul play at least,” Lance confirms. “Pidge, feel free to accidentally make machines work better for you. Allura and Shiro, feel free to bat your eyelashes and weaken Veronica and Adam with your wiles.”

All three teammates nod seriously.

“Will do. And you, Lance?”

Lance grins, unbuttoning his blouse and stuffing it in his bag, leaving only his cropped red t-shirt that makes the brown of his eyes look darker. He clips on some sparkly earrings, then slathers on some lip gloss.

“I am going to make it impossible for Keith to focus. Let’s go!”

———

(Keith watches as his husband hunches know a huddle with his team, face drawn and serious as he explains his plans and ideas. Shiro, Pidge and Allura watch him with similar intent, splitting off after a couple minutes of discussion with the seriousness they once employed marching into battle.

“We’re going to lose, aren’t we,” he asks the group at large.

Hunk pats him heartily on the back. “Most definitely. Let’s go, team!”)

———

There is a lot of chaos, as one might expect.

The arcade is certainly not empty. Parents chase after unruly children, unruly children chase each other. Many young teens hog games in an attempt to turn a profit on their token investment. Hobbyists are worse. Regardless, competition sings in Lance’s veins. He spends inordinate amounts of time at the shooting games, knocking out shot after shot — in one game lasting so long that he amasses a crowd of awed spectators.

“Holy smokes!” one child yells. “He’s been here forever! He can’t lose!”

“You think he’s a super spy, or somethin’?” their friend whispers.

Lance smirks. Or something.

As the point counter in the top left corner of the game ticks higher and higher with every zombie he slays, he starts to imagine how he might gloat with his upcoming hoard of tickets. Drape them like a scarf, perhaps, and sashay past Veronica? Count them very slowly by Adam? Get Shiro’s help in forming them in an L shape and point them in Keith’s direction?

Before he can decide, there are several annoyed shouts in the small crowd behind him, and seconds later someone pops up next to him, filling his nose with the scent of pine and sandalwood. Keith plants himself behind where Lance is seated, arms on either side of him, and leans over so his head hangs upside down in front of Lance’s, blocking his vision.

“Hey,” he says, grinning.

Lance shoves his face away. “Buzz off! I’m trying to beat you!”

“You’re hogging the zombie game, is what you’re doing.”

“Duh!”

Lance shoves his face away again and this time he goes, which should make Lance suspicious, but his guard is down and his focus is elsewhere. After a moment, he hears his husband clear his throat three times, just like he does before he addresses a crowd of people as the Fearless Black Paladin.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“People of the arcade!” he shouts, and lord above Lance married a drama queen no matter what anybody says about it. “Are we going to let him hog the zombie game?”

A voice that is most definitely Lance’s irritating sister calls out: “No way!”

Another voice, Lance’s traitor best friend, calls out: “He’s had it for twenty minutes! I demand justice!”

The crowd, either bolstered to air their grievances due to other aforementioned complaints or just happy to be part of a mob, take up the chant: “Off the game! Off the game!”

“The people have spoken, sweetheart,” Keith says, smirking so wide his eyes scrunch up.

Lance rolls his eyes, but he’s annoyed to find that he can’t quite suppress his smile. “You’re a dick for brains.” He purposely misses his next shot, ending the game, and the crowd cheers. The screen flashes once, then a red number pops up in the middle: 456. Tickets begin to shoot out of the slot.

Lance turns towards his husband and chuckles evilly, taking great joy in his newfound scowl. “Try to keep up, baby.” He tears his last ticket from the slot, gathering them up and patting Keith on the chest as he walks by. Allura, Pidge and Shiro whoop and cheer for him, high fives and fist bumps all around as they all show each other how many tickets they’ve garnered so far — well over a thousand. They’re killing it.

They spend the next forty minutes flitting from game to game, winning forty tickets here and ninety there, even losing a game or two. They spend half their time actually playing and half their time messing with the rest of their friends, calling out confusing answers for trivia games or straight up poking and prodding at them to mess up any games of focus. It’s a miracle that any of them manage to win at all, really.

After a couple hours of play, the two teams have mostly evened out — Lance hasn’t been keeping exact count of his tickets, or anything, but his pile and Keith’s pile look about the same.

“I have an idea,” Allura shouts over the noise of the arcade. “A final win!” She tilts her head towards one of the larger games in the arcade, blasting pop music through the area and flashing bright lights.

DDR.

Lance grins at her. “‘Llura, you are a genius.”

She preens. “I know.”

“Shiro! Pidge! Cover for us!”

They nod, and Allura and Lance rush to the Dance Dance Revolution machine, quickly flipping through the options as they see Keith and Veronica booking it through the crowd through the corners of their eyes. Finally they land on the best option for them, and Lance slams the start button just as Shiro tackles his brother to the ground. Synth beats blast through the speakers, and Aqua’s Barbie Girl starts to play — game on.

“Fuck!” Adam shouts, knowing they’re about to lose.

Lance cackles. If there’s one thing he and Allura can do, it’s absolutely crush this game.

And they do — the hit every beat, perfectly, not even one misstep. Every stomp is in unison, every pop of their hips coordinated. (They had weeks and weeks on the space road trip. They know what to do.)

By the time the song ends and Allura and Lance step off the machine, tickets flying through the slot, Keith’s team has accepted their defeat with hanged heads.

“Hand over half your tickets as a losing tax and bow before your queens,” Lance says smugly, as he and his teams twist their tickets into ugly crowns, wearing identical smirks.

“All hail the winners of pressing little buttons on dinky arcade games,” Veronica drawls because she is a sore loser.

Allura winks at her. “Thank you for your concession, insect,” she teases.

Veronica goes bright red. Lance snickers.

They make their way to the prize booth, handing over their absurd number of tickets. Pidge uses hers to buy a ridiculous amount of candy. Allura goes ham buying a bunch of Earth trinkets to bring back to Coran. Shiro sees a dookie little toaster from the seventies that is devoted entirely to cooking hot dog buns, laughs himself to tears, and buys it immediately. Lance buys himself a giant stuffed lion that happens to be blue, because once he sees it it’s impossible not to. The four of them goad their gifts to the losing team as they trade for their own shit, much to the annoyance of the grouchy employee.

It’s stupid. It’s juvenile. Every single one of the prizes is cheap.

It’s so, so much fun.

On the walk back to the house, Keith falls into step with Lance, pulling him back slightly from the rest of the group. They all shoot knowing smiles in their direction, for once not feeling teasing, and jog ahead to give them space.

“Got something for you,” Keith says casually, looking straight ahead.

“A consolation prize?” Lance jokes.

Keith grins. “Something like that.” He digs around in his pocket, closing something in his fist and holding it out in front of him. He makes no move to open his hand or offer the thing to Lance, walking on casually. Lance is burning with curiosity.

“You remember when I first asked you to marry me?”

Lance snorts. “Out of the blue, on a random Monday, in the common room? Yes, I remember the day my life changed forever.”

Keith’s smile gets softer. He reaches over with his free hand and links it with Lance’s.

“You told me I needed a ring to ask you.”

“Mhm. And we got one later.”

“That’s the thing.” He stops them, turning to face Lance head on, indigo eyes bright and sparkling. “I got us wedding rings. But never used one to pop the question.”

He takes a tiny step back, and then sinks to one knee, holding up a cheap diamond ring from the prize booth. Lance laughs out loud, and then gets choked up by the emotions that flare up at the sight of his husband on one knee, and tears build in his eyes.

“Lance Kogane,” Keith says dramatically, but there’s a look of real seriousness in his eyes, a stubborn streak of love. “I kind of botched the asking, my first time, so I’m going it again: will you marry me?”

“Yes, dorkbrain,” Lance chokes out. “Of course.” He holds out his left hand, and Keith slides the dinky little ring onto his forth finger, resting it above his real wedding ring. He stands up and wraps his hands around Lance’s face, leaning in and kissing him softly.

“Just checking,” he whispers.

Lance smiles, leaning their foreheads together.

Fitting, he thinks, deciding to stay right where he is for a while, that they’d do everything backwards.

How lucky he is.

———

parts 1-5

218 notes · View notes

fixfoxnox · 6 months

Text

Ice Skating is Romantic (NikPrice) (Day 3 of COD-mas)

Description: Nikolai finds out that his husband doesn't know how to skate. He takes it upon himself to fix that.

Warnings: Mentions of death

“You don’t know how to skate?” Nikolai sounded shocked and more than a little bothered by the confession that Price had just made while leaning against his chest. Price hadn’t known that he was making a confession, or that the casual words he’d spoken would cause Nik to react so violently, but it was certainly too late to take them back now.

Price gave an unbothered shrug and continued glaring over the reports in front of him. His boys had certainly caused a bit of a mess on their last mission and he was the one stuck writing everything up. He was going to have to make sure to never make the mistake of putting Gaz, Roach, and Soap on a team together. It was far too destructive apparently. “Never learned, not many opportunities around being shipped out to fuck all by the military.”

Nikolai gave a few shocked sounds for a moment, stumbling over his words as he tried to find something to say. Price couldn’t understand why Nikolai was so bothered. His husband had never said anything about skating before and it wasn’t that big of a deal that they wouldn’t be able to go skating for their weekly date like Nikolai suggested.

“Have I never asked you to go skating before?” Nik sounded horrified by himself, his accent growing stronger with his clear upset at himself. Price caught a few words in Russian mumbled under the other’s breath, though they were far too quick for him to figure out what they meant, even with his years of learning the language and deciphering Nikolai’s little phrases.

He shook his head, “I think it came up as a possibility once while we were in Russia. We were on a mission though, and you know how conversations on a mission go.” He shook his head again and clicked his pen rapidly, trying not to grow anxious at the line of dialogue. “What’s the issue with me not knowing how to skate?” He nudged at Nik’s arm before playfully adding, “Don’t tell me this is divorce worthy?” It was a quick joke, one meant to diffuse his own nerves.

Nik cracked a slight smile at that and turned to gaze down at Price properly, “John, how long will it take you to realize that there isn’t a thing in this world that would make me want to divorce you? You’re stuck with me remember?” The words pulled a bit of a laugh from Price’s chest, reminding him pleasantly of the early moments of their relationship when Nikolai had sworn the same thing, albeit with a less romantic meaning behind it.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Price snuggled closer to Nik, pressing a short kiss to his clothed shoulder. He thought perhaps that might have ended the discussion of ice skating, but it seemed that he couldn’t be so lucky.

Nik tugged him closer to his chest, tucking him just under his chin. There were a quiet few moments before he spoke again, “I will have to teach you to skate.” Price gave a short groan at the words, but Nik seemed unbothered by his unwillingness. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“Will I?” Price gave a short grumble, abandoning his reports in favor of pressing his face into Nik’s chest, “Because I adore falling and busting my ass over and over in front of my husband.”

He couldn’t see Nik’s face, but he could feel as the man’s body shook with amused laughter.

“What if I fall and cut my leg open with the blade,” Price’s voice shook with worry as he spoke, his eyes trailing down to look at the ice skates that Nik was lacing up tight for him. He thought it would be better to call the things on his feet knife shoes rather than anything, he’d nearly cut himself on the blade at the bottom just while walking to find a place to put them on.

He wouldn’t admit that he was anxious about the entire thing. He didn’t even know why he was anxious. All that he knew was that the entire drive to the little frozen lake where they’d be skating, all he could do was bounce his knee and pray that the ice wasn’t thick enough for them to skate on. It was and he was forced to put on the pair of pristine white skates that Nik had gifted to him.

Nikolai gave a small chuckle at the words. “You doubt yourself, John. And worry yourself.” He leaned forward, bullying his way between Price’s legs to place a short kiss on his lips. “I promise that you will enjoy this,” he spoke with such softness that Price could only nod along and agree with him, even if he didn’t particularly think it was true.

The two held there for a short moment, just holding the other's hand and taking comfort in their shared warmth. Nik was the first to move, rising to his feet and easily hoisting Price up to join him, a joyous grin on his face. He didn’t let go of Price’s hands as he led them over to where the ice of the lake began. Price couldn’t help but wonder if Nik just wanted to hold his hand or if the man was doing it simply so that Price wouldn’t try to take off.

“I’m going to twist an ankle,” Price’s voice broke a bit as they stepped toward the ice, “or break a hip. Do you know how much shit the team is going to give me if I break a hip?”

Nikolai only chuckled at the concerned tone of his husband, showing no signs of hesitation as he easily stepped onto the ice. He was surprisingly graceful with the movement, stepping onto the frozen lake before spinning in place to face Price and join both of their hands together instead of just the one. “Come now, Captain, have a bit of fun.”

Nik gave a beaming smile before pushing himself back further onto the lake and tugging Price with him. The result was a distracted Price who was so busy admiring his husband that the sudden movement sent him stumbling forward on the ice.

He could feel his feet slip out from under him even as he tried to catch himself. A flash of panic ran through him and he gave a frightened yelp as he was sent sprawling forward, doomed to hit the ice. Except he didn’t.

Instead, he found himself saved by his husband’s arms.

Nik had caught him just before he could go all the way down and hauled him against his chest, allowing Price to use him to catch his balance. Price felt out of breath from the near fall and he looked up to Nik, ready to spill apologies and pleas to just leave from his lips. Those died on his tongue as he met the adoring gaze of his husband.

“Thank you,” he managed, his voice shaking just a bit. Nik didn’t say anything for a moment, he just continued smiling at Price and gazing at him with those adoring eyes as he helped him right himself on the ice.

The moment was quiet between them, Nikolai helping Price to balance and Price doing his damnest not to melt a hole in the ice from both embarrassment and the heat he felt for his husband. He couldn’t help it, he loved it when Nikolai got like this.

It made it harder to focus on the task at hand, something that was both a blessing and a curse. It meant that Price was no longer so focused on the skating aspect. No longer so worried about falling and breaking something or dying a horrible embarrassing death at the hands of an ice skate. It did, however, mean that he was really struggling to pay attention to Nikolai’s directions. Nik seemed to recognize as much.

“Focus, John.” Nik gave him a soft smile and started to skate backward a bit, pulling Price with him by his hands. Price nearly fell again, but managed to find his footing before his husband was forced to save him. He had to force himself to pay attention to the movement of his feet rather than Nikolai skating right in front of him, looking so charming in his winter wear and being so charming while guiding him over the ice.

“Sorry, Kolen’ka,” he muttered under his breath, his mind trying to focus on the task at hand. Despite that, his mind wasn’t so focused that he didn’t notice the quick twitch of Nik’s hands at the use of the diminutive. He laughed internally at that, knowing that the name that had just slipped off of his lips had likely driven his husband wild. Even if it was for only a moment.

There were several long moments of the two just skating around the little lake like that. Price had a death grip on his husband’s hands, frightened of falling again and Nikolai just let him hold on and get used to the feeling of gliding around on the ice. It was terrifying to Price but exhilarating all the same. The movement was so fluid and everywhere they went they left little tracks behind them, lines in the ice that showed their paths.

There was something else about it. The trust involved, Price was sure. He trusted that Nik knew what he was doing, that his husband wouldn’t let him fall and wouldn’t let him skate over a part of the lake where the ice was too thin. Too dangerous. He trusted Nikolai to ensure his safety, to make sure that he didn’t have to worry. That, in itself, was more romantic than he’d expected.

“Ready to try on your own?”

Price gave a nervous laugh and gripped tighter to Nikolai’s arms, “Do you really think that's necessary?” He pulled himself closer to the other man, as though afraid that he might be left on his own if he didn’t. “I’m enjoying myself just fine like this.”

“It’s more enjoyable to do it on your own,” Nik’s voice was laced with amusement and he managed to give Price a grin even as Price tugged him closer, intent on not giving Nikolai even a chance to release him.

“I disagree.” Price glanced up to give him a smile of his own when he suddenly found his supports taken out from under him. Nikolai had pulled away from him in a flash, leaving him practically shaking like a leaf on the ice. All on his own. “Nik,” he gave a warning call, panic flooding him.

“Calm down, dusha moya.” Nik wasn’t too far, only about five feet in front of him. He had his hands placed on his hips and a shit-eating grin etched across his face. “Don’t panic, just do what we’ve been doing and come to me.”

“I’ve been doing everything with you,” Price complained. He looked down at his shaky feet and, for a moment, he felt dizzy.

“Look at me,” Nik’s voice cut through his panic. Price didn’t even think before taking his eyes off the ground and looking up to meet Nik’s eyes. “Trust me. Just come to me.” A short moment passed before Nik gave him an encouraging nod.

Price held still for a few moments, trying not to seem as annoyed as he felt at his husband. He reminded himself that it was only a few feet and that he would be more than able to give his husband a good smack for leaving him on his own the second that he crossed that distance.

He said nothing, instead, he clenched his jaw and began to move his feet like he’d been doing while holding on to Nik. It was odd and he clearly didn’t have the movement down yet as it took him a long moment to even get himself started, but he was able to get started. He found himself inching forward across the ice. Little by little, the distance between him and Nik closed.

When he finally found himself face to face with his husband, all thoughts of hitting him were gone from his mind. Now, he only took a shaky breath before tugging the other man down for a harsh kiss. The warmth in his chest and the feeling of success rushing through him had left him feeling airy and all too light on his feet. The kiss managed to ground him.

It was a press of cold lips and warm breath, perfect pressure, and adoring attention. Hands finding one another, neither of them could be bothered to do anything other than wrap the other in their arms and hold close, warming each other from the cold.

“Never make me do that again,” Price muttered the words against Nikolai’s lips, pulling a short laugh from the other man.

“Whatever the Captain orders,” Nik responded playfully, tugging Price with him across the ice even as he pressed their lips back together. Whatever fear that Price felt at the move melted away with the kiss, leaving him feeling light on his feet and filled with such adoration that even he had to begrudgingly admit that his husband had been right.

Ice skating was quite romantic.

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